The Ivory Tower
by kmbrain
Summary: Post-Trespasser. Ellana Lavellan has left the Inquisition and she finds herself in the company of a band of elven spies - Agents of Fen'Harel. Over the course of a year she has been secretly working for the man she formerly loved. But how long can she stay hidden from the Inquisition? Will Solas find her? Yes. Yes he will. This would be pretty boring otherwise. Enjoy!
1. The Old Man and the Map

**A/N - Hi! Just realised I deleted all my notes in the re-write process WHOOPS.**

 **So, this is my first fic ever...well...actually written, had lots in my head like everyone does but this is the first I've tried writing out. I'm sure it will be just terrible but it's an experience and so far, actually really enjoyable. Anyway, cause it's my first time I would really appreciate any comments anyone might have - good or bad. I've never written anything so any thoughts would help me hugely and don't worry about hurting my feelings or anything, I have a pretty nasty internal monologue so...probably can't beat her. Anyway, hope you enjoy yourself and I don't make you cringe too much. ONWARDS.**

* * *

To the south of the village of Redcliffe a group of five elves camped. Ellana Lavellan sat away from the other four sharpening a pair of daggers. This task along with re-stringing her bow gave her a much-needed chance to be alone with her thoughts. None of her companions knew of her past or even her real name. She found it difficult having no one to talk to, no one who truly knew her but it was the only way she knew how to move on and more than that, stay hidden.

Almost a year ago, Ellana had walked away from the Inquisition without a word. She had contemplated for days what she could say but she never found a way to put in to words how she felt. Even if she had, she knew they would never let her go - certainly not alone. She settled for leaving a note that said simply " _I cannot go on. Please do not look for me. I am sorry._ " She knew many would not heed her. She was abandoning her friends, colleagues and the people who needed her but she could not face what they asked. She stole away in the night, travelling to a small, unmarked village to the east of Skyhold. She left everything behind – her weapons, armour, anything that could give her away or remind her of her time with the Inquisition. Out of sight, she picked up the set of plain leathers and supplies she had hidden. She chopped her long silvery hair short and mixed a paste of dye. Black was not the colour she would have chosen but it was the easiest to mix. In her days of contemplation before leaving, she had planned out a backstory for her new self. She thought it best to abandon her Dalish ancestry. Although she could play the part of a simple Dalish hunter well, it was too much of a link to her former self and her lack of Vallaslin would only beg questions. Her arm would already arouse enough suspicion. Black like obsidian with beads of lyrium running through it like veins – it was difficult to ignore. Following the loss of her arm, she had found fighting difficult but the Inquisition still needed her. Without a second thought, her colleagues used the Inquisition's influence to procure her a new one. Tevinter made and attached to her by a renowned mage, it behaved like a normal arm but with significantly reduced feeling. A constant numbing cold emanated through her body from it, painful at times but it did more than she could have expected – she could fight. She opted to hide it beneath a long glove – hidden amongst her supplies. Luckily, few beyond the Inquisition and those that constructed it knew of its existence so she hoped her attempt at concealment would be enough. Once her work was done, she left the village travelling in no particular direction other than away from the life she had built.

"Vala, that's dusk. It's time."

Daman's words pulled Ellana from her thoughts; she had gotten surprisingly used to answering to the name she had chosen for herself. Daman was the leader of this group. All the orders came through him and he saw to it that the five completed them to the letter. Larger than most elves and toughened by life in a city Alienage, he filled the role well.

"The plan is simple. Garith and Lis - you're keeping watch of the area. Keep your eyes and ears open and make sure we go undisturbed."

Garith - a small but formidable Dalish hunter - nodded and moved to stand with Lis. Lisette or Lis as they all called her was a comely, blonde elf. Ellana could not explain why but she had hit it off with her as soon as she joined their group. She had always been the most difficult to lie to. Not because she ever questioned Ellana; even when she managed to accidently see Ellana's arm, she accepted her tame explanation. Being dishonest with Lis did not feel right. Despite having to keep parts of her self locked away, Ellana had tried to share as much as she could with Lis and she had reciprocated.

"Lori, you're watching the house," Daman went on with a nod toward a doe-eyed Dalish girl. "Garith and Lis will report anything potentially dangerous to you and if you think we need to get out of there, you get us out."

Lori smiled and nodded, her auburn hair dancing about her face. "No one is getting in that house," she said with a wicked grin.

Daman approached Ellana. "Vala, you and I are going in to the house. Our orders say we need to get the map and anything else we can carry." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "We are not to harm anyone, especially the old man. The bosses want no attention drawn to this."

Ellana nodded and moved herself carefully away from Daman's hand, uncomfortable with the closeness. She had studied the description of the map extensively. It was one of Lorel's greatest works, completed only recently - a map of all known elven ruins and the locations of those Lorel believed existed but stood unexplored.

"When is Lorel due to return from the banquet?" Ellana queried.

Daman's team undertook comprehensive reconnaissance of the house and its occupant – Ramsey Lorel, an ageing human researcher of everything elven. Lori had managed to use her contacts in Redcliffe castle to discover he was receiving an honour on this night and a banquet was to follow – leaving his home conveniently empty.

"Long after nightfall; we have plenty of time," Daman replied, gruff as always. "Right, Team! Let's get this done quickly and quietly! For Fen'Harel! For the Elvhen!"

* * *

When Ellana left the Inquisition, she had no idea what she was going to do with herself. All that she knew for certain was she could not go back. Her Mother had written to her many times asking her to return to the clan but Ellana would never be able to live that life again. She had changed too much and they had stood still. Once she had travelled far enough in to the wilderness, she resumed the life of a hunter she had known before the Inquisition. It was simple, quiet and she had thought it would be enough for her but she had never been more alone. She met Daman and his crew purely by chance. While tracking a deer, a group of bandits had ambushed her. Lori and Garith heard the commotion and came to her aid. When the battle was won, Lori told her about their group and convinced her to meet their leader.

"We fight for something more than just ourselves. We fight for all our people."

That is what Daman had told Ellana. She had thought it typical elven bluster but it did peak her curiosity. Lori spoke of her skill in battle and implored Daman to offer her a place in their group. Ellana felt doubt in the back of her mind but she could not face being alone anymore.

They gave her smaller tasks initially. Daman told her she needed to prove herself. It did not take her long to understand that the group was involved in largely spying and procurement. Often small, simple tasks that only needed the attention of one person whilst others required the combined skills of the entire group. As she got more involved, she began to question whom these items and information were for. It never crossed her mind that this group may be so strongly linked to her past but that was at least partially denial. In hindsight, she felt a fool for not having realised. It was not until after Ellana's first job with the entire team - after she had proven herself - that Daman told her the truth of his words.

"We are all agents of Fen'Harel, like so many of our elven brothers and sisters. He leads us to our former glory. We fight to restore the Elvhen to their rightful place."

The name alone hurt, bringing back memories she had avoided for too long. She wanted to scream at him " _Do you even know what that means?!_ " but she knew she never could. She cared for her new brothers and sisters and she could not be alone again. She had found friends, she had found a purpose and she was not willing to walk away from that. All she had to do was avoid Solas finding her. Fortuitously her group was at the lower end of the organisation - never communicating directly with the upper levels. What Ellana had not considered was herself. She was far from an ordinary foot soldier and someone of her talents could not go unnoticed forever.

* * *

It had been almost a year since Ellana had met her companions. Working with them had become second nature. Daman came to value her skills, often making her his right-hand during operations such as this one. Ellana had come to value them as well. With them, the emptiness was less pronounced, the hole left behind no longer all she was. She had come to think of them as brothers and sisters.

When they entered the village there was a bustle of night-time activity. Garith and Lis had already moved in to position and Lori left them across the street from the house. Daman and Ellana approached the back door.

"That's the one. See the padlock? Easy as pie. That Lori does some excellent work," Daman said, a grin of pride brimming across his face.

Lori had thoroughly vetted the property, looking for the best way to get in quickly and quietly. The back door was not overlooked by prying eyes and was kept secure with a simple padlock - much easier to pick than the complex, internal lock on the front door. Daman moved to keep watch as Ellana picked the lock swiftly. Both moved silently inside.

"Where does he keep his notes?" Daman asked, bustling about rather uselessly.

He was a leader unlike any Ellana had known. He planned extensively and to good effect but once his part was played - he never seemed all that interested in the details. Eager to know everything she could before she acted; Ellana lived for the details so she found his lackadaisical attitude bizarre. It was one of the few things she disliked about him, so foreign from what she had come to expect of a man. Even after so long, it still took effort not to sound annoyed.

"Back room - on the desk or in the dresser. Maps are in the cabinet," Ellana replied, thinking back to the information she had memorised and successfully hiding her glare.

They both began searching when a noise and some unwelcome light from the bedroom startled them.

First, they heard spluttering and coughing and then the old man shouted, "Who's there? I can hear you, thieves!"

Daman quickly retreated to the shadows. Ellana was about to follow suit but the thought that this could be their only chance stopped her abruptly. Lorel entered, a walking stick raised as a weapon. His eyes fell on Ellana and a look of confusion washed over him. She was glad they had opted to wear less suspicious clothing instead of their usual leathers.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my house?!" he exclaimed.

Ellana raised her hand slightly. She hoped Lorel would take this as a gesture of submission but she truly meant it to stop Daman from acting rashly.

"I am so sorry sir! I…I…I meant no harm!" she uttered, ensuring to emphasise the stutter.

"I'm calling the guard! You have broken in to my house and you are stealing my research!" Lorel exclaimed, eyes drawn to the papers in disarray.

Ellana summoned tears, trying to seem as small and weak as possible. "No! Please! You can't! The guards will hurt me; they do terrible things to elves! Please! I just wanted to look at your notes!"

The old man's eyes softened noticeably. "Why would you want to do that?"

Ellana had gotten to know Lorel well whilst she watched him over the last couple of weeks. He had been known to care for the elven people beyond his research. When he visited the cities it was rumoured he would visit the Alienages and help in any way he could. She had seen him giving out sweets to local elven children and he used his influence to speak out against injustice. He treated her people with a kindness that is sadly rare amongst humans and she knew she could get him to help her too.

"My mother, she…" she started weakly, still forming a plan in her mind. "She won't tell me anything about my people; she's scared I'll draw more attention to our heritage! She won't let me see any of our old temples and it's all I've ever wanted since I was a child!" Pausing briefly, she let out a pained sound like she might faint from the effort at any moment. It hit its mark beautifully. "I just thought if I could look at your notes and maybe find one then I could go myself and learn. I knew you were out tonight so I thought I wouldn't be hurting anyone. I am so sorry sir! Please don't let the guards hurt me!" A well-placed tear slid down her cheek.

"You have nothing to fear, child," he replied, dropping his make-shift weapon. "The guard will hear nothing from me tonight. Here." He walked over to the cabinet, still coughing and spluttering, and pulled a bound file of notes from its shelves. "Take this with you. Keep it safe and make sure your mother does not find it. I am sorry I cannot do more but all my maps have been taken away to the capital. Those notes should mention some of the more local ruins. You should be able to find one with them."

Ellana tried to hide her disappointment as she spoke, "Thank you so much, sir. I do not know how I can ever repay you for this."

"There is no need. Just be safe if you ever do visit one of those temples. I hope you find what you are looking for, child."

Ellana walked out of the back door and motioned to close it behind her but kept it open a few seconds longer to allow Daman his exit.

* * *

"I can't believe that worked! That was the best bit of acting I've ever seen!" Daman jubilantly exclaimed once they were out of earshot of the house.

"He didn't have the map. It's gone for Denerim. We've failed," Ellana said, more to herself than anyone.

"What does it matter? Surely all that is enough." He gestured towards the notes Ellana carried. "And it's not even going to be reported as a theft like we planned! It's like nothing happened!" Daman grabbed her in a hug.

Ellana freed herself, angry at Daman's willingness to accept defeat and at his closeness. It was becoming increasingly apparent that he admired more than just her skills and she had no interest in encouraging him.

"They specified the map. That's what they need, not these," Ellana replied, shaking the notes at him angrily.

He sighed as they reached Lori's vantage point.

"What happened?" she asked, concern at their raised voices written across her expression.

"Lorel was home," Ellana replied earning a slight gasp. "I managed to convince him to give us these…" She handed the notes to Lori. "…but he didn't have the map. He said it has been sent to Denerim."

"To Denerim?! Why?!" Lori exclaimed as Garith and Lis joined the group.

"I don't know and I could hardly ask," Ellana replied with annoyance. "Lorel seemed sick. That must have been the reason he did not attend the banquet tonight. The map was only completed days ago. Maybe…maybe it was always bound for Denerim after tonight…with Lorel. Lorel's sickness must have changed the plan. Maybe there's still time to get the map here in Redcliffe…" Ellana thought aloud.

"You could be right. Maybe it is making the trip under guard, guards only the castle can provide… That would take planning," Lori replied.

"Lori - can you use your contacts in the castle to find out if we're right? We may still be able to do this," Ellana asked determinedly.

Lori looked at Daman, awaiting his agreement. In her determination to complete their plan, Ellana had not realised she had stolen his role. Over the past year, she had tried to conceal or limit some of her skills so as not to arouse suspicion but her desire to succeed had distracted her.

"I guess it's worth a shot," Daman replied, with a dismissive wave of his hand.

* * *

They awaited Lori's return back at their camp just outside the village. She returned within the hour to be met by their expectant stares.

"It left shortly after dusk. Lorel was supposed to travel with it in the morning but with him too sick to travel, they decided to leave early. Four guards, a driver and no passengers," Lori told them, thorough to the end.

"Good work. If we hurry, we might catch them in camp. We can still do this!" Ellana replied. She started gathering together what she needed to set out.

"Wait! Wait! We don't even have a plan! We can't just waltz up and ask them to hand it over!" Daman exclaimed.

"It's a carriage in the woods at night. If we attack and take the map everyone will just assume it was bandits. No one will suspect a thing," Ellana retorted but he was still clearly reluctant. She sighed. "We can't return to them empty handed, Daman." She placed a hand slyly on his shoulder. "We can do this. We are the best of the best and I know you would not want them to think otherwise…"

"Alright! Let's get geared up and move out everyone! We have a carriage to catch!" Daman replied, not moving away from her hand.

* * *

It had been an exhausting journey but they had managed to reach the carriage before dawn broke. There were double the guards Lori's source had reported. Ellana assumed it was due to the time they had chosen to travel - a wise decision although she thought they would regret not sending more.

"Plan?" Daman asked with a smirk.

Determined not to let Daman's tone annoy her, Ellana addressed the group, "Daman, Lori and myself will head the attack. Garith and Lis - stick to the trees and cover us."

They moved out. Lis and Garith spread apart, covering opposite sides of the camp with bows drawn. Ellana, Lori and Daman snuck up, each choosing a guard to take out. On her signal they leapt from the shadows, each slaying their targets with ease. Two more were taken down by arrows from the darkness. Another died by Daman's blade, too surprised to react. This left Ellana with one guard and another near Lori. Ellana dispatched her opponent quickly but she was broken from concentration by a sharp scream of pain. Another guard had emerged from the carriage, grazing an arrow off Lori's shoulder as she fought. Two arrows thudded in to his chest before he could nock a second arrow. Ellana ran over to Lori.

"It's nothing…just a cut," Lori said. "Took me by surprise."

Ellana was relieved to see she spoke the truth. It would probably need some medical attention but it was nothing severe.

"That's them all," Daman said after making sure all lay defeated. "And we definitely have what we came for."

Ellana crouched through the doorway of the carriage and saw four glass protective cases – a map in each. She could tell from the markings that the one in the centre was the one they needed.

"We take them all. Bandits would not leave anything untouched. Besides, I'm sure the higher ups will be grateful for all they can get," Daman ordered.

They set fire to the carriage with the intention of leaving as little evidence as possible. With their objective finally completed, they left for camp with elusive maps finally in hand.

* * *

 **A/N - This chapter was updated AGAIN on 08/11/17 as apparently, I am never happy.  
**


	2. A Glint of Gold

Once the group had returned to camp, Daman left to deliver their prize to their commander. He had been angry with Ellana on the journey back. He told her she was reckless and that Lori was hurt as a result. In her view, he was just upset she had succeeded where he had been happy to fail.

Before Daman claimed them, Ellana had managed to inspect some of their findings. As well as maps of known and yet to be discovered elven ruins there was detailed analysis of elven legend, potential locations of artifacts and much more that she could not fully comprehend.

" _He's looking for something and I'm pretty sure I know what_ ," she thought, smiling to herself. " _Nice to know we still have time while you look._ "

Although she wanted a world where her people no longer had to live in fear, she did not want hers to end too soon.

"What are you smiling about? You know you look creepy when you do that," Lis remarked, pulling Ellana from her thoughts.

"Nothing in particular." she replied as she wiped the grin from her face.

"You know you're a terrible liar? Well, apparently old men fall for it…but not me, I know you too well!" Lis nudged her and smiled.

"It was something stupid. Nothing important."

"Was it someone male? Sounds like an accurate description and it looked like that sort of smile…" Lis remarked, raising an eyebrow slyly.

Ellana shoved her. "No, it was not. Now shut up and let's celebrate!"

Lori and Garith had already opened some cheap wine in celebration of their victory. Ellana dragged Lis over to the bottles, picking one up for herself. The anger was boiling up inside of her again. She felt that way whenever she inadvertently thought of Solas. Lis's prodding certainly had not helped. It had been a long time but her anger had not diminished.

" _The price of ignoring the issue for so long,_ " she thought, grimacing.

* * *

Ellana had gotten quite adept at drinking and still maintaining some semblance of sense. Given how regularly her companions seemed to drink, she had been tested many times but her near constant fear of being caught still thrummed louder than the alcohol that hazed her mind. It was lucky she had such a strong constitution as by the time Daman returned it was the middle of the day and they were all thoroughly sloshed. He filled them in on the meeting with their commander while trying to catch up.

"The guy was so impressed with how we handled the old man and the little complication that he told his boss about us and he wants to personally thank us all for our work!" Daman said with pride. "We are to meet with him tomorrow just before dusk. We're going to get some sort of commendation I just know it!"

The boozy fog over Ellana's mind snapped back. She had no desire to meet anyone higher up or make waves of any kind. She was pleased for her friends but the fear of exposure consumed her.

She felt paranoia already sweeping in to her mind, " _What if it's not just some commander? What if it's him? Damn you! You should have just left the map! You need to sort this!_ "

When Daman got up to get more wine, she approached him.

"Daman, who is our commander's commander? Who are we going to meet with?" she questioned in what she hoped was not a panicked tone.

"Don't worry, kid. It's just some guy. Take the compliment," Daman said in a bothered tone.

"I know but remember how we talked about how I…"

"Yeah, I remember. You don't want to meet the legend himself. I think you're crazy but whatever you say… Look, they asked for you specifically so you have to be there. It's not him anyway so what's the issue?" he interrupted, his clear discomfort doing nothing to abate Ellana's anxiety.

"But I don't…"

"That's an order!" He lifted his glass and laughed nervously, intending his statement to be seen as a joke but taken seriously none the less.

Ellana walked away, dejected. She had tried to mention as often as she could that she did not want to meet with any top agents and especially not Fen'Harel himself. She had spun some rubbish along the lines of 'never meet your heroes'. It was a ropey explanation but she had hoped her insistence would be enough. It clearly had not worked. She retired to her tent, hoping none of her brothers and sisters had picked up on her sour mood. She knew they would need to leave soon but she needed some rest. She did not want to face what was to come without a clear head.

* * *

The journey had felt longer than it was. Ellana had tried to avoid conversation but Lis, as she always did, ensured she failed. After all this time, Lisette felt she knew Vala well. She rarely appeared anything but happy to the untrained eye but Lis could tell she was haunted by something. She never asked, figuring she would talk when she was ready. There were days when she noticed Vala found it difficult to hide. Today was one of those days and Lis did everything in her power to help Vala hide her dread from the others.

They arrived at the location Daman had described shortly before dusk. As they proceeded through the wooded area it quickly became apparent that they were most definitely not alone. A group of elves came in to view, patrolling the woods and more were visible through the trees.

"Brothers and sisters, what brings you to this place?" one of the patrolling elves asked.

Daman stepped forward and replied, "Ar-melana dirthavaren. Revas vir-anaris. Commander Hurand told us to come to this location."

Ellana recognised the words from her time within the Eluvians, what seemed like an age ago. She knew it now as a secret greeting - a way of identifying yourself and others as agents of Fen'Harel.

The elf nodded and turned to one of his companions. "Send for Agent Hurand." The companion left and he turned back to Daman and his band. "Andaran atish'an brothers and sisters. Come this way."

They walked a short distance before being met by Hurand flanked by three others.

He approached Daman with enthusiasm, "Brother! I am glad you all arrived safely. Which of these is the elven maiden we spoke about?"

Daman gestured towards Ellana. "This is the one. Vala has proven herself time and time again in her service to the cause."

"Her appearance betrays the talents you have described to me, Daman! Unassuming but cunning I am sure!" Hurand remarked, his enthusiasm never seeming to be lacking.

Ellana was surprised a man of this disposition had managed to rise through the ranks of a spy network. The small elf to the left of Hurand stepped forward with a quiet air of confidence. His eyes were a piercing blue and his manner suggested a strong sense of poise and control. He was in charge, that much she was certain of, and that fact brought her yet more dread.

He spoke directly to her, never breaking eye contact, "From the reports we have received it is clear you exhibit great skill. Only a fool would base his estimations of anyone on outward appearance."

Hurand looked hurt by this remark for a brief moment but said nothing. His behaviour only worsened Ellana's suspicions.

The quiet elf continued, "Seeing you now it is clear you have great strength of will that should be commended." He only broke eye contact to nod to Hurand. "We should proceed."

"Daman, I will speak with you after," Hurand said before leaving with a noticeable spring in his step.

Ellana was glad to see the back of him and his nauseating joyfulness but she was far too concerned by her own situation to really care. As they proceeded further in to the wood with their entourage, more of her brethren were visible through the trees. Each was attending to their own tasks, paying the troupe no mind but the sheer number of them was disquieting. Ellana could not help but think that this many agents would not be gathered here for a lowly commander. She looked at Daman and saw excitement, nerves. Further in to the wood, the fir trees gave way to silvery birch and a glade with a small lake could be seen ahead. At the edge of the lake, the quiet elf stopped them. Elven ruins were visible beyond the waters and a great Eluvian sat amongst them. Its depths were dark. Ellana had seen inactive Eluvians like this one in her time with the Inquisition and the mere sight brought back unpleasant memories.

"I believe I did not introduce myself," the quiet elf's words broke Ellana's train of thought. "I am Elris Varden, second in command to our lord Fen'Harel. I would ask that you wait here. Fen'Harel shall be arriving shortly."

"What?!" Ellana cried out in disbelief, unable to stop herself.

Luckily, her cry had been mercifully disguised by her friends' similar outcries but where hers was laced with distress, her companions' were filled with excitement. Ellana knew that to many elves, Fen'Harel was a hero and meeting him was considered a great honour so she could forgive her brothers their reaction. More importantly, they seemed surprised and that meant they too must not have known. Knowing she had not been deceived by all her friends offered her at least some comfort. Varden had quietly left their side although Ellana was in no state to notice.

"I thought it would be a nice surprise for you all!" Daman exclaimed happily.

Ellana grabbed him, control lost to her. "You told me it was not him! You explicitly told me it was not him!"

Daman's happy demeanour vanished beneath her rage. "I don't understand what your problem is? This is an honour for us all! Besides, they asked for you specifically! I could not risk you refusing to come with us!" He patted her shoulder, trying in vain to appease her.

Ellana was about to reply when the powering up of the Eluvian and a glint of gold within pulled her back to her senses. With her friends diverted by the movements across the lake, she grabbed Daman's leather helm and slid it over her face. She pulled the hood of her robes over her head and the neck of her tunic up, obscuring as much of her face as she could. She refused to look at the incoming group, knowing what she would see. Her mind was screaming at her to run but she knew that she would never get far. All she could do was stand there and wait. The group reached them and with Ellana's gaze fixed firmly on the floor she could see the light of the setting sun dancing off his golden armour.

"Agents, it is an honour to meet you all," the familiar voice rang out.

The sound of it pierced Ellana's heart; her pain flowing freely again after so long. She heard it in her mind saying those three precious words and the rejection that followed.

"Each of you has contributed a great deal to our cause. Over the past few months, your company has distinguished itself beyond all expectations."

He was moving up the line, from one member to the next. Ellana could hear his voice getting closer.

"Each one of you has performed beyond your station and is worthy of commendation," his voice was upon her now, the source so close she could touch him.

He paused and she could feel his stare upon her. It took everything in her not to look up at him. A gauntleted hand reached out to her chin, stopping shy of touching her.

"You need not be afraid of me," he said, urging her to look up.

She glanced at his face, the pain building in her chest. " _It's him. By the gods it's actually him,"_ she thought.

She could feel herself shaking as her gaze rested on Solas. His eyes, just as she remembered them, turned wide as they reached hers and a look of pained recognition came over his face. He stared at her for entirely too long. Standing at his side, Varden looked concerned.

"Remove the mask," Solas finally said, his voice breaking uncomfortably.

Ellana fixed her gaze back to the floor, shaking her head involuntarily. She could not bear the feelings pulsing through her. Varden moved forward, his look of alarm growing and his fist moving to his blade. Solas raised a hand and he stopped in his tracks.

"Remove the mask," Solas repeated, weak tone replaced entirely by unrelenting insistence.

Ellana looked around at her friends, their expressions filled with confusion and concern. Lis mouthed something to her but she could not make it out. She downturned her eyes one last time, resigned to what was to come. Determined and angry as though he had left her only yesterday, she made sure to look straight at him as she reached up and lowered her hood and tunic. She glared in to the eyes she remembered so well as she removed Daman's mask.

"Ellana…" he breathed.

* * *

 **A/N - This chapter was updated AGAIN on 08/11/17 as apparently, I am never happy.**


	3. The Ivory Tower

Solas's voice was no more than a whisper. There had been doubt lurking in his eyes but with the sight of her, there could be no more. He stared at her for what felt like an age until Varden made a small but very deliberate noise. His eyes tore away from her and suddenly aware again, he composed himself.

"You have all proven yourselves and will be given tasks and stations deserving of this. You have my personal gratitude for your service. Thank you all," he ended abruptly.

With that, he walked away in to the world beyond the mirror - looking back at her only once. Varden continued speaking with them, all the while regarding Ellana with curiosity. He had never seen his leader so disturbed. Eventually he led them away to a small encampment beneath the shadow of the Eluvian. Ellana had been in no state to pay attention to what was being said or notice anyone's inquisitive stares. When Varden left through the great mirror her friends rounded on her but she offered them no explanation. Lis put her arm around Ellana and gestured to the rest of the group to leave them. All but Daman heeded her, protesting still as he was led away.

"You're shaking like a leaf," Lis said quietly. "Here." She placed her robe around Ellana's shoulders. They sat in silence for a time but Lis broke it abruptly, hurt in her voice, "You know him, don't you? That's why you didn't want to come here. Vala is not even your real name…"

It was selfish but Ellana could not deal with Lis's hurt. She pulled away from her friend, about to seek solitude but before she could, magic consumed the mirror once more and Varden emerged.

"Fen'Harel requests your presence in the tower, Lady Ellana."

"The tower?" Lis retorted in confusion.

Varden gestured toward the great mirror. "I shall lead the way if you would be so kind as to follow."

Ellana picked herself up, Lis's robe falling to her feet. She followed Varden through the mirror and the beauty of the landscape on the other side jarred her from her boiling rage. The Eluvian stood atop a hill with trees, waterfalls, lakes and halla as far as the eye could see. A path snaked around the hillside and through dozens of elven encampments. Hundreds of her brethren went about their daily lives as she followed down the path to the base of a great white tower. Inquisition spies had spoken of elves leaving their homes to join with Fen'Harel but she never imagined this many.

 _"By the gods, he has an army,"_ she thought.

Varden raised his hand to the tower's door and it opened to a room bathed in coloured light. A staircase wound around the height of the tower with rooms at the sides. They walked past the staircase to a platform in the centre of the entrance hall. Ellana looked up and was met with the source of the coloured light. A monumental stained glass roof topped the tower. Despite her fury, she found herself in awe of the beauty contained within this place and the man who created it. Varden gestured for Ellana to stand beside him on the platform as he pressed his hand against a pedestal. The platform rose from the ground with magical energy. As they drew closer to the upper reaches, the roof transfixed Ellana further. She could now see the glass depicted a great tree shedding white blossom. Varden seemed almost amused by her awe. No doubt he had felt similar feelings when he first set foot in this place. Further up it became clear that the top floor lay beyond the reach of the great staircase. All that connected the platform was a walkway that led out to a lone door. Her awe gave way to anxiety once more as Varden indicated she should enter. She steeled herself for what was to come and proceeded alone.

Ellana entered in to a large room that Solas had clearly made his own. An enormous desk sat in the centre surrounded by towering bookcases and glass cabinets. The desk was littered with papers, books and strange items. Two closed doors on either side of the room led beyond, to what she could only imagine. Behind the central desk was a vast window. The man himself was standing at the window looking out on the world he had created. He turned to face her as the door clicked shut. As they moved closer to one another, she could see the pained look on his face and he saw the same look on hers.

"Ellana, I…" He composed himself before he continued, "When I heard you had walked away from the Inquisition I had hoped you were living your life in peace. I never imagined… I never imagined this."

"Well I'm just full of surprises, aren't I? Not as many as you but I'm getting there!" Spite rang out in her tone more than she would have liked.

Solas sighed, pained expression only worsening. "Why are you here? How long…"

She cut him off, "I'm not here to spy for the Inquisition if that's all you're concerned about."

"I know; the Inquisition has no idea where you are. That is not my concern. My concern is you," he replied in an equally exacerbated tone.

Solas had been watching the Inquisition as much as their suspicions would allow. Although he did not believe they could stop him, he was very aware that they were the only ones who knew the full extent of his plans. His watching had led to the discovery that they too had no idea where Ellana was, let alone what she was doing.

"Concerned about me?! You're concerned about me?!" she shouted, her fury taking over. "I abandoned my friends, I abandoned my family, I abandoned my _life_ all because of you! I loved you and you repaid that with lies! When you finally did tell me the truth you threw me away like I was nothing to you!"

"I left to protect you!"

"Protect me?!" Her rage pulled her closer to its source. "Oh I feel wonderfully protected! You tore me to pieces and abandoned me!"

He turned away from her. "I had no choice."

"You did have a choice but you robbed me of any chance to choose - all in the name of saving me from you! Maybe I would have liked to decide my own fate?! But no, you obviously know what's best for everyone! What's worse, you still watched me!" Ellana could feel tears welling in her eyes. "Haunting my dreams; never letting me escape your shadow. You left me with nothing and took everything from me." The tears were falling – uncontrollable, stinging. "I have nothing more to say to you."

"Ellana…" he said sadly.

She turned on her heel and walked out through the door, slamming it behind her. Varden had left but the magical elevator brought her to ground level without prompting. She made for the woods, barely able to keep her composure. Beyond the trees, she crumpled in a heap and wept, shaking with residual rage.

* * *

Solas watched her leave through the window. As she ran to the forest he put his head in his hands. He was shaking and he could feel the despair welling up inside of him. He had assumed the only time they would ever see one another again was if she was fighting him. How wrong he had been.

 _"Everything she said… She was right. She is always right… But I did not do this just to save you,"_ were his last thoughts before he gave in to his despair.

* * *

Ellana left the woods and proceeded to the encampments. With Varden long gone, she had no idea where she was supposed to go. On her way back to the mirror Lis approached her at speed.

"There you are! I was starting to get worried! Varden brought us through shortly after you and he…" Lis noticed Ellana's red eyes and puffy features. "Are you alright?"

"No," Ellana replied. "There is a lot I need to tell you."

They sat for a great deal of time away from prying eyes and Ellana told Lis everything – her true heritage, her time as Inquisitor and Solas. She left out some details; keeping Solas's involvement in Corypheus's rise to power and the details of his plans to herself. She had long suspected that the elves who chose to fight for Fen'Harel did not fully understand the destruction they were trying to create or what it would cost them. Although she was angry with him, she saw no benefit in tearing down what he had built. To do so would hurt more people than just him and doom the elves to this life. Lis remained largely silent throughout, only breaking it to ask the occasional question. Once Ellana had finished her story, they sat in silence.

"So let me get this straight, you were the leader of one of the most powerful organisations of our time and, to top that off, you were fucking an elven god? Nice…" Lis mused, trying to lighten the mood.

Ellana laughed. "I guess so…But he's no god, not really."

"Ellana… I'm sorry," Lis said, struggling a bit with Ellana's real name. "You've been through a lot and I can't imagine how difficult it must have been. I wish you had told me sooner. It must have been terrible having no one to talk to..."

Ellana pulled her friend in to a warm embrace. "Thank you. You're a true friend and I'm so sorry I kept this from you." She released her so their eyes could meet. "Please, do not tell the others. I'm not ready for everyone to know."

"They are not fools. They know something is up, Ellana." It was strange hearing Lis use her real name. "We need to tell them something."

They both sat thinking of a way to avoid the truth.

"We could just tell them he thought you were someone else?" Lis piped up.

Ellana scoffed in disbelief. "You're the one who just said they are not fools! Who would fall for that?"

"I know they'll see through it but maybe if we both insist hard enough then they will at least stop asking questions. If someone is desperately trying to get you to accept a lie it usually means the truth is just going to hurt you," Lis exclaimed proudly.

Ellana laughed. "That does not usually stop people from wanting the truth."

"Well…we can hope?" Lis laughed along with her. Neither could think of a better option.

* * *

Lis led Ellana to their camp and the two were met with their understandably concerned friends. Lis spun her story with Ellana's help and the majority of the group met it with reasonable scepticism. The exception was Daman. He just seemed so glad that Ellana was no longer furious with him that he would accept anything she said. Garith and Lori, not wanting to overrule their leader, went along with it too. As the evening turned more to night, the encampments began to thrum with music and jubilation. Daman regaled their neighbours with numerous tales of their exploits, helped along by the remainder of their alcohol supply. The surrounding elves seemed happy to get to know them and share stories of their own. Ellana was pleased to join in the festivities. Venting to Lis had helped her greatly and even confronting Solas made her feel like a weight had been lifted. A bit of celebration was just what she needed to clear her mind.

As the night wore on, the wine ran out. With Daman's encouragement, the elves struck up a tune and the camp erupted in to dancing. Ellana joined him in a dance, finally feeling a sense of freedom. Daman swung her around the dance-floor like a mad man as the stars twinkled prettily above them. Ellana loved gazing at the night sky. It reminded her how small this world and her problems really were. On a particularly wide swing, she caught sight of something glistening on the top floor of the tower. She could see a large balcony and watching them from that vantage point was Solas. It was difficult to see from such a distance but Ellana could feel his eyes on her. In that moment she could feel only pity for him as he stood alone atop his ivory tower.

* * *

 **A/N - This chapter was updated AGAIN on 21/11/17 as apparently, I am never happy.**


	4. Unwanted Advances

It was early, too early given her hangover, but Ellana wanted to explore this amazing world she found herself in. She had spent some time in it during events with the Inquisition but there had been too much at stake to explore. The woods were remarkable. She felt nothing but peace walking through the trees as halla galloped playfully around her. Further in, she began to hear water and eventually found herself at a small stream with trickling waterfalls. Just beyond the edge of the water sat a tree with delicate white blossom. It made her think of the stained glass in the tower. She lay beneath it, gazing up at the sky as flurries of white danced free with each breath of wind.

"I thought I might find you here. You were always drawn to the forest."

A familiar voice broke Ellana from her day-dreaming and she sat up abruptly.

"Even in Haven you would wander off in three feet of snow just to find solace amongst the trees. I could always find you there…" His words trailed off, lost in memories.

Ellana turned towards the source and saw Solas standing beside the stream. His face wore a wistful smile. She rose and came to stand nearby.

"It's beautiful," she answered with genuine appreciation.

"Thank you." He paused. "You seemed to be enjoying yourself last night. I am glad."

Ellana could hear the sadness in his voice behind his attempts to hide it. She knew him too well. He must have realised she saw him watching her from the tower.

"I did," she replied. "The people here seem so happy…a sadly rare sight in this world." She paused, considering what to say. "Solas, I…" her voice trailed off.

Mercifully, he knew what needed to be said, "I came here to apologise to you, Ellana. You were right…again. I made all the decisions without considering what you might want and then forced my choices on you. Your opinion means more to me than you know and I should have listened. I was…afraid… You are worth far more than that."

Her eyes widened slightly but she quickly recovered herself. "Thank you. I'm glad you finally understand and I appreciate the apology." She smiled warmly.

"I will not make the same mistake again. What you do now is your own choice. You have made a life for yourself amongst my soldiers and if that is the life you want to live, I will not stand in the way." Turning fully to her, he went on, "Similarly, if you choose to leave, I will ensure you are not pursued by anyone under my command. You are free to do as you wish."

Her brow furrowed, doubt clouding her mind.

"You would let me leave with all the knowledge I've gained? That is…a pretty big risk," she mused, her curiosity getting the better of her.

The corners of his mouth quirked up in to a sly smile. "It is nothing I cannot overcome."

She laughed. "You are nothing if not tenacious." She nodded. "The gesture is appreciated and you're right. I have made a life for myself here, a life I do not wish to abandon."

Ellana, somewhat unwillingly, felt warmth towards him. She had tried for so many years to remember him as the complete bastard who left her and in so doing - she had forgotten why she fell in love with him in the first place. Now she was starting to remember.

"Good. Then you have my blessing. I will keep everything I know of you to myself; your past is yours to dispense as you please," he replied.

"Thank you, Solas, but I am not sure how much longer I can keep it quiet. Besides, won't Varden have suspicions after yesterday?" she enquired, brow wrinkling once again.

"Certainly. I would be disappointed in him if he did not but…" He paused. "…he knows when not to ask questions."

"Good to know," she added with a laugh.

A brief silence followed. Ellana had forgotten how comfortable she felt just being near him. He, however, felt anything but comfortable. Despite all his experience of the world, he felt unable to control himself around Ellana. This lack of control scared him; it was not something he was used to. She was his one weakness in a time when he could afford none.

He broke the silence, "If it makes things easier for you, Ellana, I can keep my distance. Once you leave this place I can ensure we do not meet again. I…"

"No. You hurt me a lot but this…" She motioned between the two of them. "…has helped me a lot. I no longer feel I need to hide from you. Hopefully you feel the same way?"

Solas did everything he could to hide his disappointment. He had hoped she would never want to see him again and hearing that, would have kept him from her. With only his willpower to rely on, he did not trust himself to stay away. He knew he should have left her after she stormed out of his study but he could not bear to hurt her more than he already had.

"I do," he replied, a resigned smile spreading across his face.

"Although, I would appreciate you staying out of my dreams. That could get…awkward," she joked.

Both of them laughed and their eyes met. He tore his eyes from hers, sensing dangerous territory and instead fixed them on her once missing arm.

"Your arm…" he uttered quietly.

Ellana removed her glove to display the ebony structure and upturned her nose at the sight of it.

"The Inquisition's doing," she said, bringing the arm closer and flexing her cold fingers so he could see. "Tevinter made. It does the job; I can use a dagger as well as I ever could."

"It is remarkable but Tevinter?" he asked sounding thoroughly displeased. "Let me see." He took a closer look, drawing her arm to him with a touch.

"I know but I didn't have many other choices. Sadly my resident mage was nowhere to be found…" she remarked slyly.

Solas did not notice the jibe, far too engrossed. Ellana remembered how he used to be almost unreachable when he was studying something.

"Can you sense touch with it?" he enquired. He pressed his hand in to her magical one without thinking. "Are there any side-effects?"

"Yes, I can feel. It's duller than it was but definitely there," she replied, feeling the warmth and familiarity of his hand in hers. "Not much in the way of side-effects," she lied, not wanting to concern him further.

"Good," he said with a breath of relief.

Their eyes met again and he realised his hand was still pressed to hers. He could feel himself losing control. A nearby shout of Ellana's name broke their eyes away from one another.

"I shall leave you to your friend. I hope you find happiness, Ellana," he said as he let go of her hand.

With that, he was gone and Ellana was left with an all too familiar feeling.

* * *

Lis came barrelling in to the glade loudly telling Ellana some piece of news but she heard none of it. Her mind was racing.

"Ellana? Are you in there?" Lis joked, finally noticing her friend's distraction.

"Sorry I'm just…" Ellana broke off. Pulling herself fully from her thoughts, she went on, "Solas was here."

"Just now?! I didn't interrupt, did I? What did I interrupt?" Lis asked slyly, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing like that," Ellana replied. She proceeded to tell Lis everything that had transpired, leaving out the feelings she had had. Lis did not need to know every detail.

"Well that was nice of him. He doesn't sound so bad after all," Lis commented.

"It does not change what he did, Lis, but it's a good start," Ellana added.

"Start of what?" her friend asked, her sly tone returning.

"I don't know." Ellana changed the subject hastily. "So what were you telling me?"

"Hurand took Daman away to discuss business. The others think this means we're all being promoted. More important jobs, more involvement in the organisation and many more chances to test our skills," Lis exclaimed excitedly. She paused, eyebrows rising slyly. "Maybe it's because of your in with the boss?"

Ellana punched her shoulder. "It's because we're damned good at what we do and you know it is. Now shut up and let's head back to camp and see what's happening!"

"That actually hurt you know!" Lis whined as they walked towards the trees.

* * *

When they returned to camp Daman had still not returned. With little else to do, the remaining four members of their band helped around the other encampments. The hours passed quickly and Daman returned in the early evening. It was clear from his jubilant demeanour that the groups' suspicions had been correct and that Daman had already been celebrating. His slurred speech only added more fuel to the fire.

"Hurand gave us some of the good stuff," he slurred, producing several bottles of fine wine from a bag over his shoulder.

The elves from the surrounding encampments congratulated them exuberantly but the majority declined to join them in their celebrations. Many of the nearby camps were moving out tomorrow so Ellana understood their reservation. Besides, they had all enjoyed too much just last night. Daman joked that they lacked proper stamina.

The celebrations were less lively out of respect for their neighbours but Ellana was still having a wonderful time. The company of her friends, old and new, was a very welcome feeling that she had not truly felt since she left the Inquisition. She remembered a particular party, shortly after they moved in to Skyhold. There had been music, dancing and a great deal of alcohol to celebrate their new home. They had all laughed and enjoyed each other's company long in to the night and for the first time, she knew she had true friends. It was also the first time she slept with Solas.

Drawn by the very idea of him, she looked up to the balcony of the tower. She saw him there but he was not watching this time. Feet up on the edge of the balcony, he was seated and looked to be reading. As though he could sense her gaze, he put down his book and came to stand at the edge. A look passed between them. She broke his gaze, eyes cast to the floor. She felt the haze of too much alcohol wash over her and got up suddenly. She could not trust herself in this state, not with him so close. She kept going until she reached the tree line and stopped, resting her back against a trunk. Footsteps approached and she looked up, expecting Lis. The haze of inebriation blurred her vision but she still managed to focus in on the much larger form of Daman.

"I have you to thank for everything, Vala," he slurred. The use of her fake name jarred her slightly. "You've changed everything." He pulled her in to an embrace and the smell of drink covered all else. "My smart and beautiful Vala."

"Daman, I don…" Her words trailed off as he pressed his lips against hers.

Possibly due to her drunken state or simply due to shock, she took a moment to respond. She tried to pull away but he was insistent.

When she finally broke free she exclaimed, "Daman, stop! I don't think we should do this." She tried to keep her voice gentle, appeasing. She did not want to hurt his feelings.

"Vala, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I know you've wanted this as much as I do," he said, dragging her in, trying to kiss her again.

Ellana knew that she had led him on at times to get what she needed. She cursed herself for her behaviour but it still did not justify his ignorance. She pushed him away with more force.

"That is not my name and no I don't!" she shouted.

He looked surprised. "No, Vala, you…" But Daman's own surprised scream took over his words.

He screamed again, his hand jerking away from her as the smell of burning clothes and flesh filled Ellana's nostrils. His grip had loosened enough for her to escape but she stood perfectly still, too shocked to move. It mattered little as a gauntleted hand closed around Daman's throat and pulled him off her.

"Solas?" she asked pathetically, pleasant haze of inebriation all but gone.

Solas threw his charge to the ground with ease. Although Daman was a much larger elf, rage seemed to be a powerful motivator. Solas stood over him, eyes glowing.

"Tell me why I should not burn you alive?!" he growled, every word punctuated by his rage.

Daman just stuttered but Ellana could not let Solas kill him.

"No!" she shouted, running in between them. "Please don't!" She made sure he looked at her and not at the cowering source of his fury. "Solas, please, I don't want you to do this. I need you to stop."

As Ellana held his gaze the glow slowly left his eyes. He cast off the last of his rage with one final growl before turning away from her. She reached out a hand to him but shouts came from the nearby encampment and she stopped. Her friends had no doubt heard Daman's screams of pain. Lis arrived first, her nimble legs carrying her faster than the others.

"What the fuck happened here?!" she cried, looking directly at Solas.

The others arrived shortly after. Their eyes fell instantly to the burns on Daman's body, evident for all to see. They all turned their attention to Ellana for an explanation. She looked up to where Solas had been only to find him gone. Lis pointed blankly towards the tower, clearly still in shock.

"He was injured. He should be fine," was all the explanation Ellana offered as she ran off toward the tower.

She knew Daman would happily give his version of events and she did not even care if his version would be accurate. She needed to see Solas.

* * *

She saw nothing of him on her way through the encampments. When she finally came to the door of the tower it occurred to her that she could not open it. Her time in Varden's shadow had shown her the door and the elevator within only allowed entry to certain people. She stopped in front of it, dejected. In an almost offhand gesture, she raised her palm and placed it on the door as Varden had. Much to her surprise the door whirred and clicked open. She was certain the magic that controlled it was complicated; she certainly could not comprehend it; so the thought that Solas had taken the time to allow her entry was all the more touching. She wondered at what point he had decided to do it.

" _Had it always been this way? Was he hoping I would return for all these years?"_

These were the thoughts that raced through Ellana's mind as she ascended in the elevator. She found herself perplexed. Solas had gone out of his way to let her know they could not be together but now she finds out he had given her a key to his inner sanctum. She thought about how torn he must be to behave in this way. Although the thought of his torment saddened her, she could not help but feel glad that she had not been alone in her suffering.

When she stepped off the platform into Solas's study he was nowhere to be found but the door to the right stood ajar. She entered in to a smaller room, taken up mostly by a bed, a fireplace and a set of chairs. A huge window made up one of the walls with a glass-pane door leading to the balcony Ellana had seen from below. Large wooden alcoves bridged the panelling of the great window with curtains at their sides. Solas was seated on one such alcove, his head in his hands. He had not noticed Ellana enter and she took the opportunity to watch him for a moment longer.

"Solas…" she said quietly.

He looked up with a start. "You should not be here."

"I needed to make sure… I needed to know you're alright," she replied, moving closer to him.

His eyes finally met hers. "I am fine and you should go."

"Solas, what were you doing in the forest? I saw you on the balcony but then… Why were you down there?" she asked, moving still closer until she could almost touch him.

"I am a fool. When I saw you from the balcony I…I felt something. I could not control myself. I knew I had to see you but…"

Ellana could feel a lump rise in her throat as she realised that he truly was tormented by her. He did not enter her dreams to spy on her or hurt her; he did it because he could not help himself. She felt sadness for him, knowing that he suffered a pain similar to her own. What was worse, he could not blame someone else like Ellana could; he had no one to be angry with but himself. It hurt to think that if Solas had just relented then he could have saved them both a great deal of pain.

"By the time I reached you, _he_ was with you," he continued, the pace of his words becoming progressively faster. "I lost control. It did not even matter that you were trying to stop him, I wanted to hurt him long before…"

"Solas," she interrupted softly.

She placed her hand on his shoulder and turned him so she could see his face. They were standing too close to one another now and she could feel the heat of his body. Their eyes met and he raised a hand to meet the one she held on his shoulder. Before Ellana knew what she was feeling, they were kissing; his hands sliding through her hair and hers moving to envelope his neck. For a few achingly short minutes, Ellana was completely lost in the man she still loved.

He pulled away. "We shouldn't," he said, putting some distance between them.

Ellana was unwelcomely reminded of exchanges in their past but she was determined not to allow history to repeat itself.

"I have never wanted anyone more in my life than you, Solas," she said in a firm voice "And I know you feel the same way." She closed the distance between them, looking him in the eye despite his reluctance. "Forget your damned duty for a minute and realise this changes nothing. I am not going to try and stop…"

Before she could finish he drew her in for another kiss. She pulled away from him, brow wrinkled with confusion.

"What is it?" He paused, hand grazing against her hair, eyes still fixed to hers. "You are right and I cannot keep resisting it." He kissed her again.

She pulled away once more, "You won't run away again? I don't think I could…"

"No. I do not think either of us could survive that," he interrupted. His soft gaze turned stern. "Now stop talking."

He pulled her in for a longer, deeper kiss and pressed her hard against the edge of the bed. It had been a long time for them both. Neither was sure this was the right thing to do but neither cared. They had finally stopped running.

* * *

 **A/N - This chapter was updated AGAIN on 21/11/17 as apparently, I am never happy.**


	5. Squad Goals

Ellana woke before the sun rose. With Solas sound asleep, she wrapped herself in one of the bedsheets and sat in an alcove by the window. She gazed out on the sleeping world intent on thought. She knew he loved her, he had made that clear last night but even still, she wondered. If he had been given his way, she never would have seen him again. She sat until the sun peeked over the horizon. As light slowly bathed the room, Ellana heard him shifting in the bed.

"You are awake," Solas eventually said.

They both knew they needed to talk before this could continue. Last night had been too overwhelming for them both, too sudden. There had been no real opportunity to understand where they both stood. Ellana was still hurting; she could not let go of the years of pain he had given her that easily. He came to sit beside her, not bothering with a sheet and a silence passed between them.

"Four years…" Ellana started. "Four years we wasted." She turned to him with eyes bleeding desperation but his gaze remained fixed forward. "When you told me everything I wanted to come with you. You knew we wanted the same things." She reached out to touch him. "I wanted to spend whatever days we had left together. I didn't want to be protected, I wanted you."

Solas did not respond immediately. He was considering if he should say more, ashamed by his own weakness.

"I did not leave just to protect you, vhenan," he started, closing his eyes in mirthless resignation. "Do you remember that time in the woods? We had just returned to Skyhold from some horrendous excursion, I forget which…" He smiled, turning to her at last. "We went for a walk alone in the woods and you told me about your life before the Inquisition."

"Yes, I remember. It was nice…" Ellana interjected, confused about where this story was going.

"You were picking flowers and I remember looking at you; _just_ looking at you. I thought about what I had planned, how going through with it would take you from me…" He turned away from her again. "For the first time I doubted myself; questioned everything I had ever wanted." His eyes met hers, twinkling with utter regret. "When I took you to that glade and removed your Vallaslin I had intended to tell you everything. If you had accepted me for what I was, I intended to abandon my plan and build a life with you. I was so close but in the end I just couldn't. After that, I was too afraid to keep you near. Afraid I would not be able to do what I must."

Ellana smiled. She would never agree with his choice to leave but she felt she could at least understand.

"Surely you still feel that way and yet, here I am? Something must have changed?" she asked, reaching out almost instinctually to touch his arm.

"You have. When you told me you wanted to come with me you did not know what that meant but now… You came here of your own free will, you who knows better than most what the end will bring. You have accepted it beyond anything I could ever have imagined."

After some consideration she spoke, "You're right. The elven people… I know you do not think of them as your people but they are."

Solas wanted to argue but thought better of it.

"They are the direct descendants of the people you tried to save. Years of slavery and subjugation have twisted them from what you once knew but that does not change their origins. If we do nothing, will our people ever find anything beyond oppression and pain? I have seen nothing in this world that makes me believe that they will. We are lost and if something does not change we will remain lost or gone from this world entirely. I want more for our people, even if it means destroying every part of them that I have ever known. I won't let you abandon our cause."

He took her hand and pulled her in to an embrace, her head resting against his chest. They sat in silence for a time. As dawn broke they talked more. They agreed that they would try and keep their relationship as inconspicuous as possible, at least for now. Neither thought it would last; nothing goes unnoticed when spies surround you. With the orb destroyed in their battle with Corypheus, she had an idea what he must be trying to achieve but she wanted to know everything. She wanted to help him as best she could. However, she felt it was not her place to ask. She was still a lowly foot-soldier. She did not want to abuse their relationship to gain knowledge well above her station. She left after the sun had risen beyond the horizon with an agreement that she would return at dusk. It gave Solas time to attend to his duties and Ellana time to deal with the fallout from the events of the last night.

* * *

The camps were still quiet as Ellana left the tower. Those that were awake appeared too busy to take any notice of her. Most were packing up to move out. When Ellana reached her friends' encampment, only Daman was visible. She imagined he found sleep difficult with his wounds, a satisfying thought given the way he had behaved towards her. He looked startled at the sight of her and she regretted her satisfaction – after all, he had been her friend up until this point. He rose quickly with a wince of pain to hurry her out of earshot of the others.

"I'm so sorry for my behaviour last night. I…" he started, sounding almost afraid of her. "I told them it was an accident. My own doing. Lis wasn't buying it; she was the only one that saw him; but the others… I didn't want…"

Ellana cut him off, "You didn't want to tell them you were trying to force yourself on me."

He let out a pained grunt. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think and the alcohol…"

"Not an excuse," she replied curtly.

She was done talking with him and despite his continued attempts to regain her attention, she marched off to their camp. The others were out of their tents.

"Where did you go? We were worried!" Lori asked with a look of relief on her face.

"I just needed some time alone. No cause for concern," Ellana replied.

"Good to have you back," Garith said.

Lori continued asking questions but Ellana ignored her. Lis said nothing as she stood in the mouth of her tent until Ellana entered and hugged her, taking her by surprise.

"Well you owe me an explanation," Lis said. She sounded annoyed but made no moves to break away from Ellana's embrace. "I can't believe you just ran off and left me to deal with your drama for the whole damn night!"

"I'm sorry! I had to talk to him and things…things happened…" Ellana replied, bowing her head in sheepish guilt.

She told Lis everything – leaving out the more lewd details.

"Fuck Daman. I knew he liked you but I didn't think he'd stoop so low. To think, I spent the whole night helping to back up his stupid story! You should have stabbed him," Lis said angrily.

Ellana chuckled lightly. "I didn't have any weapons. Besides, he was already being dealt with before I thought I would need to get physical. He's going to be okay though?" she asked, concerned for him in spite of his actions.

"He'll be fine. He'll have some scars but that's probably a good thing. A nice reminder that no means no."

"Good. He's lucky he didn't get killed. Anyway, it's probably for the best that you backed him up, better everyone believes his story. The truth…well…that could just lead to further questions," Ellana mused.

"I guess you're right. The real story is just as unbelievable as his rubbish anyway." With a smirk Lis changed the subject to Solas, "So you're back together. How's that going to work? We're never here and it's not like he's going to come and hang out with us in the field."

"I don't know. I guess we'll make it work somehow."

It seemed foolish now but Ellana had not really thought about it. Solas would have. He had a plan for everything.

* * *

The day passed by quietly. Daman was understandably reserved which gave the rest of the group a pleasant reprieve. He left to have another meeting with Agent Hurand mid-afternoon. Ellana was pleased at his departure. He had been looking at her differently and while she did not think he would ask questions directly, it concerned her. He must have wondered why Fen'Harel had saved her from him and how Ellana, a lowly agent, had been able to order him to stop his attack.

When Daman returned, he had some news - a new job. They were to leave for Orlais in two days and meet up with another group. Ellana had seen it coming but she still felt apprehensive. She worried most about Daman. She did not know if she could ever take him seriously again after what he had done and the idea of taking orders from him disgusted her. It was difficult to admit to herself but she also did not want to leave Solas. The news made it more difficult for Ellana to leave for her their planned meeting. Everyone was buzzing and there did not seem to be an appropriate break in conversation. When they finally calmed down, Ellana took her opportunity. She told her friends she was going for a walk and proceeded to the tower. Lis knew better of course but Ellana trusted she would keep it to herself - even if she did wiggle her eyebrows mockingly as Ellana left.

Ellana reached his door quickly but knocked before she entered, concerned she might interrupt. Solas's voice was quiet at first but loudened as he urged her inside. He was seated at his desk studying books and papers, not taking a moment to look up as she entered. She could see that one of the papers he was looking at was the map her and her teammates had worked so hard to procure.

"Vhenan, I was afraid you had changed your mind," he said, rising to his feet and finally granting her his gaze. He embraced her and perched himself on the edge of the desk.

"Sorry I'm a bit late. It was more difficult to get away than I envisaged," Ellana replied apologetically.

"It's quite alright. I understand you…"

She cut him off with a long kiss. After a short while he pulled away and touched her face, looking in to her eyes.

"There will be time for that." He smiled warmly. "There is…something I wanted to discuss with you first…"

"I know. We're moving out soon, so I hear," Ellana said, failing to hide the disappointment in her tone.

"About that, I…" He paused. He wanted to tell her that he could not bear her leaving but he needed to ask something of her and did not want to influence her decision prematurely. "Ellana, your skills are wasted in your current position. You once led an army; working as a simple foot soldier was never worthy of you." He paused. "If you are willing, I would ask that you form your own unit. You would be in command - reporting directly to me. The tasks you would be undertaking would be far more complicated than what you have been used to but well within your capabilities." He paused and contemplated her features, awaiting a response.

Her brow furrowed deeply. "You're not just doing this to keep me close, are you?"

"Although that will be a welcome side benefit, no, I am not. I'm offering you this because it would be the best way to use your skills. You are a valuable asset, Ellana. You could accomplish a great deal if utilized properly."

"This is a lot to take in. I would have to leave my friends," she replied, pulling away from him slightly.

"You could take them with you? I could find others to fill their positions and…"

"No," she interrupted as she began to pace with nerves. "Even with what he did, I could never do that to Daman. He would have to build an entirely new team from the ground up. It would set their work back. It's not right. I… I need to think about this."

Solas took a steadying hold of her. "I know. We have time, vhenan. Think about it. I will accept whatever you may choose."

"Alright, I'll think about it," she said, gazing up at him until the anxiety dissipated from her eyes.

His thumb grazed against her cheek. "Good. Now with that out of the way," he continued, smiling broadly, "Where were we?"

"Oh I don't know." She walked two fingers up his chest teasingly. "Your serious ways made me forget."

"Naughty girl," he tutted before pulling her in to a passionate kiss.

As they melted in to one another he could feel an ache building in his chest. He ached knowing no matter what he did, he was going to eventually be without her. The thought obviously hurt him but he could not help feel a sliver of joy. Joy knowing that he had something so good that it would destroy him to lose it.

* * *

Ellana awoke with the sun already at full height. Solas was not in the bed with her. On further inspection, he was not even in the room. Ellana pulled her tunic over her head. It went some way to preserve her modesty but left a lot of leg still on show. Angered that he had allowed her to sleep so late, she proceeded through to his study and found him poring over yet more notes, half-dressed. She took a moment to observe his form before speaking. His upper body was surprisingly toned for someone who shied away from the more physical forms of combat.

"You shouldn't have let me sleep so late! It must be nearly mid-day," she said in a disgruntled tone.

He did not look up as he replied, "You looked so peaceful. Besides, you clearly needed it."

"You know I would sleep for days if given half a chance."

Ellana perched herself on the edge of the desk and yet more leg peeked from beneath her tunic. From what she could see, he was making notes on something. To her surprise, he was writing entirely in ancient Elvhen.

"It never occurred to me that Elvhen is, of course, your mother tongue," she mused, feeling rather dim. "When we met you spoke our language so fluently; it just didn't cross my mind. How did you learn it so well?"

He barely looked up, absorbed in his work. "As I slumbered all those years I walked the fade, as you know. Your language became a regular occurrence, even there. What I did not learn then, I grasped when I awoke. I was immersed in this culture for a year before we met. It did not take long to become fluent in the language."

"Even still, what you can achieve never ceases to..."

A knock at the door interrupted Ellana and to her shock, Solas immediately bid the unknown party entery. She leapt from the table, trying in vain to maintain her modesty as Varden entered.

"Solas!" she whined, lightly shoving his shoulder.

"He already knows about us, don't you Elris?" he said, annoyingly disinterested in anything but his work.

"Of course," Varden stated evenly.

"I would be disappointed if he had failed to notice, given the trust I place in him. Besides, we were not what I would call subtle," Solas retorted, finally looking at her with a smug smile.

"My lord, I have news that requires your attention," Varden interjected, business-like as usual.

Ellana had asked Solas about Varden during one of their discussions. She found it curious that Solas, a man who generally viewed the modern elves with disdain, could form such a close working relationship with one of them. In their time talking about him, Solas had told Ellana that Varden had an uncomfortable preference for titles. Solas did not consider himself worthy of any title but despite his attempts to get Varden to stop, he persisted. Solas told her he had stopped trying anymore. Ellana found his discomfort thoroughly amusing. It was funny seeing a man who was always so in control being bothered by such a trivial detail.

"One of our agents within the Inquisition arrived here last night and what she reported was troubling to say the least," Varden continued.

Mention of the Inquisition grabbed Ellana's attention. She looked at Solas - both surprise and concern registering across his features.

"The situation has gotten a lot worse than we thought," Varden went on with a sigh. "They're imprisoning many of the elves in their employ without any real justification. They're interrogating some. This explains why all our agents have gone dark."

Solas moved to stand at the window looking dejected. "How many of ours are imprisoned?"

"Four. One was killed when he tried to escape," Varden said sadly.

Solas had also told Ellana that Varden cared deeply for each agent within the organisation. It was part of the reason he was so well respected amongst them.

"They're killing people just for trying to leave?" Solas asked with disbelief.

"Our agent told me that suspicion is so high that any elf trying to leave is assumed to be one of ours and treated as such. With a choice of either imprisonment or to fight, I know what I would choose."

Ellana could not believe what she was hearing. She never thought any of her former colleagues could treat people in such a way. She felt immense guilt. This would not be happening if she had stayed. She got up to leave. It was not her place to be listening to this sort of information. Further, she did not think she could stomach hearing more. Solas looked concerned as she left but said nothing. That was a discussion best kept until after Varden left.

Ellana had bathed while she awaited Varden's departure. She was rather fond of the large wooden tub in the tower. She found the warmth of the water soothing and it had given her plenty of time to think. Thinking more on the Inquisition, she regretted her earlier views. She knew her colleagues had little choice but to act as they had. They could not allow potential spies leave to return to their master with all their secrets. These thoughts did nothing to take away the guilt she felt. She knew she had to do something to help the trapped agents. When she exited in to the bedroom, she saw Solas seated by the fire. He was fully dressed now and was reading. She sat herself in the seat opposite him as he closed his book.

"I want my own unit," she started abruptly. "You were right. There's so much more I could be doing to help. I can't just stand by. I want to do everything I can."

He sighed. "You want to go after the agents in the Inquisition, don't you?" he asked, knowing the answer already.

"Yes. What they're going through is all my fault. If I could just…"

He cut her off, "Actually it is entirely my fault. I am the one who sent them there – the blame is mine alone." He paused; wanting to ensure his words had fully sunken in. "If you wish to try and help them, you have my full support but I will tell you what I told Varden – I am not endangering more agents in the attempt."

"But I…" Ellana tried to argue but he immediately cut her off.

"And before you say it, you are not going yourself. Some hair dye may have worked on strangers but it will not work on them."

"I could reason with them, bargain for their release," she added desperately.

"You _know_ how foolish that would be, vhenan," he said in a markedly softer tone. "They would never let you leave, let alone the agents."

Ellana was annoyed that he was denying her but she knew he was right. Going to the Inquisition herself would achieve nothing and could put her in danger.

"I believe you are more than capable of coming up with a plan we can use. When you do, I will help you in any way I can," he said, reaching out to her in a reassuring gesture. "For now, you have other concerns. You cannot achieve anything without others; you need to choose your own agents."

Ellana had forgotten this part of Solas's proposal. She had been too focused on the Inquisition. She knew few people within the organisation well. She had no idea who she wanted to work with - except one.

"I'm going to ask Lis today. I trust her completely and she is very good at what she does. She'd be perfect," Ellana replied.

Solas smiled. It was an obvious choice. He knew little of Lis but he could tell they were close. He had queried Varden about her and he had described her as a very competent agent, if a bit loud and obnoxious at times. Solas saw no reason to object.

"I have no idea who else I could pick. I don't really know anyone," Ellana continued, fidgeting outside of her awareness.

"I could consult with Varden for you if you would like but in my opinion, these things are best left to happen naturally. Better to give it time and find people you feel you can rely on," Solas mused.

She sighed. "True. It's strange; I never thought I would be back in this role again."

"Leadership is what you were born for, Ellana. I am certain you will have no trouble," he said, reaching out to touch her hand reassuringly.

"Well I guess we both have a lot of work to do." She got up with a groan.

He rose to his feet as well. "I'm afraid so. I'll see you tonight?" he asked hopefully.

"Definitely," she replied, kissing him as she left.

* * *

 **A/N - This chapter was updated on 19/02/18.**


	6. The Honourable Man

Ellana found Lis back at camp, sitting apart from the others.

"We need to talk," she said, taking no time for greeting before she ushered Lis away by the arm.

When they were safely out of earshot and concealed by trees, Ellana told Lis about the new position Solas had offered her and her acceptance.

"You really can sleep your way to the top," Lis remarked with a slight giggle. She turned her eyes to Ellana and reddened as if she had only just realised she had spoken aloud. "That was a joke. Sorry. You're more than qualified, I didn't mean to suggest otherwise…"

Ellana took no offence. Her friend could be thoughtless at times but Ellana knew she had meant nothing by it.

"I'm happy for you but this means you're leaving! We might never see each other again!" Lis wailed as she hugged her close.

"Well actually…" Ellana started carefully. "I'm supposed to choose my own team. So I had thought that perhaps you could come with me…"

Lis turned to her with disbelief written across her expression. "I can't… You're sure you want…? I mean, yes!" she finally exclaimed, shaking Ellana violently. "This is going to be so much fun!"

"It's not supposed to be fun, Lis. We have a job to do," Ellana replied, trying her best to maintain some semblance of seriousness.

"Don't see why it still can't be fun…" Lis grumbled, the shaking less violent this time but ever present.

Ellana gave up arguing. The plight of her captured people still weighed heavily on her. She saw no reason not to tell Lis; after all, they were a team now. In her time leading the Inquisition Ellana had liked to maintain as much of an equal partnership as was possible. She valued the opinions of those around her and never wanted them to feel her views on a situation were law. She hoped to lead her new people in a similar manner. Now more than ever, she needed as much input as she could get. Ellana filled Lis in as best she could and they sat in silence, both thinking on their task.

Lis finally broke the silence, "So we only really have one choice, don't we?"

"And what is that?" Ellana inquired; keen to hear Lis's views on the situation. She was certainly out of ideas.

Lis shrugged. "We need a human. They won't suspect one of their own."

Ellana gazed at her wide-eyed. She had never known Lis to be much of a planner or at least, she had never been given much of an opportunity. Lis was more of a doer – getting on with orders and never questioning. Ellana had not expected such a practical suggestion so quickly and truth be told, she found herself somewhat aggrieved that she had not thought of it herself. It seemed so damn obvious now.

"But how do we get one?" Lis went on, seemingly oblivious to Ellana's surprise. "We could pay but that's a pretty big risk."

Ellana brushed passed her annoyance, intent on focusing on how beneficial her friend was already being. "We would have to pay them a great deal or they would sell us out to the Inquisition for more. I don't think we could beat them on price."

Lis threw up her hands. "You were their leader! Surely someone owes you a favour?"

Ellana could not deny that had helped a lot of people during her time with the Inquisition, many of them human. At the time she had tended to ask for nothing in return but now she was the one in need and that made her wonder.

"That could potentially work," she mused, a slow smile forming. "It would need to be someone I know I could trust and there will still be risk…" She was excited now, the prospect of having a plan thrumming in her chest. "But when is there not? If I could find someone suitable, it could work!" She got to her feet to pace as she always did when excitement and anxiety took her. "I need to properly assess the situation first. Maybe I could talk to the agent who came back?"

"Sounds like a good plan," Lis replied, watching her from the floor.

Not breaking her stride, Ellana paced off, eager to get to work.

"Thanks Lis. You're worth you're weight in gold!" Ellana shouted back.

"It's my pleasure, Commander," Lis replied, smirking.

* * *

Ellana did not wish to interrupt Solas and, in truth, she wanted to do this herself. So when she entered the tower, she was not looking for him. There was much more activity during the daytime than she was used to. With hindsight, it was obvious that such a large building could not be solely occupied by one man but she seldom saw anyone else and thus, presumed. It was only through conversation with Solas that she had come to understand that the rooms beyond the great staircase were always occupied during daylight. In fact, some of the tower's lower levels were made home by high-ranking officers – day or night. It amazed her that she had never come across anyone during one of her night-time excursions but glad nonetheless - she held no desire to be questioned. She also now knew that the main door and the central pedestal required separate access. Many more elves than Ellana had thought were allowed entry to the tower itself but far fewer could access the sixth floor like she could.

Still musing on her own ignorance, she approached a nearby agent, "Where is Varden?" She knew he was one of the people who made his home in the tower but had never thought to ask where.

"Second floor, the room on the right," the elf replied, appearing almost in awe of her.

Ellana stared at him for a beat too long in both confusion and dislike of his unexpected approach. She shook it off, hastening her pace up the staircase and away from her apparent admirer. The first floor appeared to be an open area with a broad window on each wall. Many agents milled about - some working in groups and others alone. The second floor was different. Nothing was open - the areas beyond concealed behind walls and doors. She assumed these unopen floors must be the officers' quarters Solas had mentioned. She thought to knock before entering the door on the right and heard Varden's voice welcoming her inside. She was met with a study similar to her lover's but significantly neater. Solas was often so distracted when he was researching that he neglected to tidy up after himself but Varden appeared to be the exact opposite. Every item had its place.

"Lady Ellana, this is a pleasant surprise," Varden remarked as his cold gaze passed over her.

" _How wonderful, I have a title too,_ " Ellana thought with an inward sigh. She tried to move past her new honorific, knowing it was pointless to correct him. "I'm sorry to disturb you but I…"

He cut her off, waving a hand dismissively, "Think nothing of it. You are a source of much interest, my Lady, interest I am loathe to admit I am not immune to. We have spoken little since your…occupation…of this place. I would be most interested to hear more of you. Tell me, what brings you to me?"

She smiled. He was trying to keep her off-balance; maintain control of the conversation by placing all the expectation on her. Solas had been right - he was good.

Even knowing it was all a ploy, Ellana still found herself choosing her words carefully. "I have need to meet with the agent who returned from the Inquisition. I have agreed to find a way to secure the release of our captured people and thus, I need to know everything." She conveniently left out the fact that she had practically begged to undertake this task.

He measured her with his gaze for uncomfortably long before speaking, "Very well. Her name is Shivra. She is resting in the east encampment. Ask around and I'm sure someone will gladly lead you to her."

"Thank you. I'll go to her now," Ellana responded, feeling so small that it did not even occur to her that the polite thing to do would have been to lead her there himself.

"I wish you every success. There are good people in that place - I would not see them suffer. I hope you will not disappoint," Varden remarked as she left.

* * *

Shivra was clearly a city elf. The scars of a life of hardship openly marred her bronzed skin. She had dark hair and even darker eyes and from a distance, Ellana could instantly tell that she was not a sociable elf. She sat alone, those around seeming almost afraid of her. Ellana approached with suitable caution.

"Are you Shivra?" she asked, taking a seat on the ground a suitable distance away from her.

The dark-skinned elf barely reacted, still resolutely sharpening whatever implement she held in her hand. "Yeah and who the fuck are you?"

"My name is Ellana. I am working to get our agents out of the Inquisition…"

" _You?!_ You're the one they picked to get results? Well they're fucking doomed then aren't they?" The city elf laughed.

Ellana sighed internally. She was quickly coming to understand the other elves' avoidance of Shivra.

"Yes I am but I need your help. I can get them out but I need to know everything you know or else your friends will be doomed," Ellana replied with as much civility as she could muster.

Shivra's busy hands came to an abrupt halt. Recognition flashed across her eyes as she stared at Ellana. "Holy fucking shit! I knew I recognised you! You're the pissing Inquis…"

Ellana practically jumped out of her skin. She was taken by surprise but managed to shush her loudly before she could finish.

Shivra did little to lower her voice. "Do they know?! Shit, this is great!"

"It is not widely known but the people that matter know who I am," Ellana quietly replied after shushing her yet again. "I take it you were spying on the Inquisition while I was with them?"

"Yeah. Been there a while. You were pretty badass in your day!"

Taken off-guard by the compliment, Ellana shifted uncomfortably. "Thanks, I guess?"

Shivra ignored her entirely. "Fuck! You know things really went to shit after you left? That redhead went fucking mental. The place is a mess."

"Leliana?"

"Yeah, that bitch. Look, if you want my help you've got it, Inquisitor," she said, whispering the last word mockingly.

Shivra proceeded to tell Ellana everything she knew. She painted a bleak picture - elves imprisoned with no provocation; some interrogated regularly. Those that succumbed and admitted their involvement with Fen'Harel, true or otherwise, were imprisoned indefinitely. Ellana was deeply saddened to hear this. She could understand the paranoia but these were her people, they deserved more. Before she left, Shivra insisted she wanted in on the plan. Ellana told her she would think about it. She found Shivra's resolve commendable but what gave her pause was the thought of working with Shivra in the long term. Spending this short time with her had been irksome enough.

* * *

Ellana had spent the afternoon trying to determine who she could call on to help her trapped elven brethren. She had drawn out a timeline and framed it with the contacts she had obtained during her time with the Inquisition. She had just started crossing off unsuitable names when Lis interrupted her.

"We need to tell Daman."

"Tell him what?" Ellana asked, not thinking.

"Tell him we're out of the group. I've already had a word with Lori and Garith - they weren't pleased but they get it. Apparently when they get to Orlais the group is going to get bigger anyway so we shouldn't be missed too much." Lis shifted nervously. "Couldn't tell Daman though…"

"You're probably right," Ellana sighed. "Let's get this over with."

With Lis's help Ellana gathered the group together. True to Lis's word, Lori and Garith seemed to know what was coming but Daman looked completely perplexed.

"We need to talk," Ellana started seriously, "Over the last year you've all been great friends to me and we've done some amazing things. I love you all as brothers and sisters and I wish we could stay working together but…"

"You're leaving," Lori interjected blankly.

"Yes. I've been offered a new position working my own team and Lis has agreed to stay and help me. So…" Ellana paused before continuing, "We won't be going with you to Orlais."

Daman scoffed spitefully. "Of course you fucking have!"

Ellana powered on, "I don't want to abandon you all and I hope we see one another again but this is what I have to do for the good of our people."

" _Bull shit_ ," Daman sneered. "You're doing this to…"

"Give her a break!" Lori exclaimed, cutting his thought short. "We're all going to miss them but we all knew someone was going to whisk her away like this! You said so yourself - she's not the following type!"

Daman grunted in response, remaining silent but not dropping his attitude. While Ellana could not say she held him in high regard, Daman was probably not foolish enough to think she could continue to work with him after how he behaved. More than that, he could hardly argue. With him placated for now, the rest spent some time discussing her new role and how much they would miss each other. Garith was accepting, Lori was depressed and Lis cried but everyone knew it was necessary. After all, they had a job to do.

* * *

With the difficult conversations ended and the daylight waning, Ellana was exhausted. She wished for a night free of worry but as she neared the doorway to Solas's quarters she heard voices and her heart sank. After knocking, she opened the door to reveal both Solas and Varden draped in telling silence.

Solas rose as she entered. "Ellana…"

"We were just talking about you," Varden interjected.

Solas sighed with a slight glare in Varden's direction. "Elris tells me you spoke with our agent from the Inquisition. Any progress?"

She looked down at the notes she had been working on earlier. She felt oddly nervous. "Some. We think our only hope of success would be someone outside the organisation – a human."

The two exchanged glances in front of her. Varden spoke first.

"How could we ever trust a human to save our people? They are the reason we are in this mess to begin with! My lord, if you would just…"

Solas interrupted, sounding strained, "For the last time - no. I know you value your people a great deal but if I were to personally intervene it would mean war. More would die than would be saved. Such rash action would be ultimately pointless."

They all knew Solas was more than capable of taking his people back by force but that knowledge made his point no less valid.

Ellana interjected before Varden could argue, "In my time as Inquisitor, I gained many contacts; contacts who owe me favours."

Varden did not flinch with this admission of her past. Ellana no longer needed Solas to confirm that he clearly knew just about everything.

"If I can convince the right person - a person we can trust - then we will have a chance of saving those people," she went on.

Varden appeared to be stifling a scoff at that, a courtesy Ellana was certain he would not have offered without Solas's presence. "I have yet to meet a human our kind could ever truly trust. When it comes down to it, they always side with their own kind. I pray for my peoples' sake that you can prove me wrong."

He left without another word and Ellana could not help but feel deflated. The second they were alone Solas pulled her to him.

"Apologies are due, vhenan. He has been in a foul mood with me all day and I fear you have taken the brunt of it. Do not take it personally."

She smiled up at him. "Easier said than done. I suppose I will just have to prove him wrong, won't I?"

"And you will," he added, fingers sliding through her hair. "You always do."

Ellana threw her notes to the desk, freeing up her hands for him.

"Perhaps it is trivial but one of my greatest regrets is the loss of your hair. The length certainly had its benefits," he mused, smirking to himself as it fell through his hands. "Do you intend to grow it out again?"

"I guess," she replied, not really paying attention as a name caught her eye amongst her cascading notes.

She focused on the name just as Solas's lips grazed the length of her ear but she was too far gone to notice.

"Fairbanks…" she whispered.

* * *

"He's an honourable man! He would want to help because it's the right thing to do, not just because he owes me. And he seriously owes me! Not only did we save the entire fucking Emerald Graves for him, I kept his heritage secret. He's bloody perfect!"

Ellana had been pacing the room ranting to herself for much too long. Solas had given up and now sat reclined behind his desk, feet up on its surface. He was pleased she had found a solution and from what he could make out, it sounded like a good one but trying to listen to her in this state was a lost cause. In the past, he had tried but she was completely unreachable when she got like this. He could not help but sulk a little. He had hoped they would be occupied with something very different by now. Wracking his memory, he could barely remember Fairbanks. They had met so many people during their travels, he could not be expected to remember them all. He thought he had heard her mention something about the Emerald Graves. It had been a peaceful, quiet place by the time they had finished there all those years ago. Sadly, he knew that places of peace rarely remained that way for long. He could feel his eyes growing heavier with each passing moment he mused. It had been a long day.

"What do you think?!" she suddenly asked.

Her raw enthusiasm awoke Solas from his thoughts.

"Uh, I… It sounds like he could be a potential candidate, vhenan," he replied, trying rather pathetically to hide his lack of attention.

She appeared pleased enough with his approval.

"Regardless, we cannot do much until morning so…" He deeply hoped she would take the hint.

"I suppose it is a bit late… I guess it can wait until morning," she replied, with a dissatisfied sigh. Smile wide, she practically skipped towards the bedroom but stopped short. She turned back to him, tapping her foot impatiently. "Well come on then!"

Solas groaned as he got up. She could be exhausting at times; he remembered this well from their time in the Inquisition. Pleasingly he also recalled that she tended to be an even better lover when she was this motivated.

" _You take the bad with the good,_ " Solas thought as he closed the bedroom door behind them.

* * *

With dawn approaching and Ellana suitably calmed, she was finally able to relay her plan with clarity. It was simple enough. She would go to Fairbanks in the Emerald Graves and ask him to help her free the agents. His men could enter and leave the Inquisition without suspicion and while people would undoubtedly begin to realise the elven spies were going missing, it was exceedingly unlikely anyone would even think to suspect Fairbanks. The problem would be getting him to agree. Although Ellana had personally helped him, he also had strong ties with the Inquisition itself. He would find it difficult to choose sides. Ellana hoped he would be more willing if she told him what the Inquisition was doing to their people. Fairbanks was a good man; a man who would not want to walk away from injustice. He did not need to know he was saving spies. These facts along with his gratitude toward Ellana would hopefully be enough to persuade him to aid her. It was a workable plan. Fairbanks was too honourable to betray them. If he agreed to help then it would be done. They just needed him to agree.

"To Orlais then…" Solas finally said.

Ellana gazed down thoughtfully.

"You cannot very well ask him this by raven, vhenan," he continued, stroking her arm as if by habit.

"I know…you're right. I guess I have little choice but to go. I'll take Lis and I'm sure Shivra will insist on coming..."

"Good. I would not want you to do this alone," he interrupted, head pressing firmly in to her lap. "The Graves have become a shadow of what they once were. Bandits hold much of the land."

She reached down to touch the angle of his jaw, still thoughtful. "I can deal with some bandits."

"I know," he replied as he took her hand lightly in his own. "I would still prefer you had company; you are important to me."

Ellana smiled down on him. "As you are to me."

He gazed in to her eyes and Ellana could feel the tension building.

At the last moment, he caught himself. "Your old team head for Orlais this afternoon. You could travel with them – a chance to say your final goodbyes."

"Either way I will ensure I have that chance but the journey will be long, having more help couldn't hurt."

"No. It won't be long at all," Solas said, chuckling.

Ellana stared down on him in confusion. Leaving this place through the mirror would take them back to Ferelden. They would need to cross the mountains in to Orlais - a journey that would take days.

"With their promotion, your old team have been granted access to the Crossroads. Access you obviously share. One of the Eluvians leads directly to ruins in the Emerald Graves," he laughed again, "You shall be there within minutes."

"Oh," she breathed, reddening slightly at her lapse in memory. "Of course we will."

* * *

Ellana had spent the day with Lis preparing for their journey. As she had expected, Shivra insisted on joining them. Oddly, Lis seemed to get on quite well with her. Ellana wondered if it was due to their shared experiences as city elves; it certainly was not due to their dispositions. Lis could be crude at times but Ellana never knew her to get angry easily. Shivra was a different story entirely – anger seemed to be all she knew.

The more time she spent in the encampments, the more Ellana noticed that the other elves were treating her differently. Some seemed to avoid her and others approached her with what appeared to be reverence. She was followed by hushed whispers wherever she went and she hated everything about it. She had even heard one elf refer to her as 'Fen'Asha' or 'She Wolf' in the human tongue. Rumours about her relationship with the great Fen'Harel had clearly gripped the camps and, much to her disappointment, they were running with the idea.

Ellana spent much of her time hidden away until they were almost due to leave. She departed her teammates for the tower with nearly an hour left to spare. There was no reply when she knocked on the door of the study but she had expected as much. It was much earlier than when she usually stopped by so she entered the study with caution. It was empty but the door to the left stood ajar and voices emanated from within. She peeked inside, not wanting to interrupt but too curious not to. The room resembled the war room Ellana had kept back at Skyhold. Varden, Solas and five other individuals she did not recognise stood around what looked like a huge map of this world carved in stone. Against her better judgement, she listened for a moment - hearing talk of a Dalish clan in the Exalted Plains. Unfortunately, Solas saw her before she could duck away from the door.

"You each know what you must do. I look forward to reports of success," she heard him say with finality.

Led by Varden, each filed out of the war room. Those that saw Ellana as they passed regarded her knowingly. The fact that everyone seemed to know all about her private life was really starting to annoy her. Solas appeared last and once she was certain the others were out of earshot, she felt she had to explain herself.

"I came to say goodbye. We're leaving shortly and I could not leave without a word."

"I presumed as much." His eyebrow was raised the slightest amount, enough that Ellana knew he wanted to question her eavesdropping but clearly thought better of it. His expression fell, amusement ebbing away. "How long are you expecting to be gone?"

"Hopefully a day or two. I will send a raven if it's going to be much longer," she replied as she leaned in to him. "Solas, I am going to miss…"

He pulled her in to an embrace, cutting her short. "I know, vhenan. I will too."

They stood, locked in that embrace until Ellana had to leave. They said little else to one another. They needed nothing else.

* * *

"Do you truly think this plan will succeed?" Varden asked, seated in a chair in front of the Dread Wolf's desk.

As their work wore on, the two of them had found themselves relying on one another for support more than either would have liked.

"Your doubts are misplaced. Ellana is more than capable and I say that without bias. I am certain she will not fail us."

"This emotional entanglement you find yourself in, do you think it is wise?" Varden went on, choosing his words carefully.

Solas smiled to himself. "Not at all but what man can say he has not done something foolish in the name of love?"

Varden chuckled lightly. "I suppose you're right."

"My friend, when this inevitably leads to regret, you can feel free to remind me of your warning," Solas uttered, shaking his head.

"I hope, for your sake and our own, that it never comes to that."

* * *

 **A/N - Updated on 20/02/18 for reasons.**


	7. The Emerald Graves

Ellana was rather fond of the Emerald Graves. So much of it was quiet forest; forest she would have gladly spent hours walking in. Troubled past aside, it was a beautiful place. They found themselves within a small section of elven ruins. She still remembered it from her past visit but it had been only rubble. She assumed agents, or perhaps Solas himself must have cleared it to find the Eluvian from which they had departed. In the wake of those they had left behind, the melancholic atmosphere followed them out. It seemed that no matter how practiced she became, the goodbyes never got any easier.

"Guys, I'm…um…I'm sorry you had to leave your friends. They seemed like good people and I'm…just…sorry," Shivra piped up after a long, uncomfortable silence.

Ellana was surprised by Shivra's attempt at civility and with Lis still sniffling at her side; she knew she would have to be the one to respond.

"Thanks. They _are_ good people. We'll miss them but we have a job to do."

Her words did no justice to her feeling of loss but it seemed to be enough to placate Shivra. There was every possibility that she would see her old team once again but Ellana tried to keep away from that kind of blind hope. Disappointment after disappointment had steeled her heart to expect the worst and thus, limit the hurt. Focus on her task could offer an escape but her mind kept on wandering as they walked. It had only been a year and to the outside world, the relationships she had fostered could be seen as little more than convenience but to her, they were so much more than that. With them, she had changed irreparably and without them, she would not have seen the world the way she did now. Without them, things could have been very different.

They passed through the forest, surprisingly without incident. The group were headed for Argon's Lodge - the last place Ellana had seen Fairbanks and his men. It seemed like the most logical place to start and even after all this time she still knew the way. Reports on the region had suggested bandits now held much of the Graves. They had moved in following the Inquisition's loss of power and subsequent removal of supporting troops. Scouts held little information beyond that but Ellana hated to think of the damage that had likely been caused. The people of the Graves had been through far too much already.

The lodge was finer than she remembered. The refugees had clearly worked hard to make it a suitable home and it showed. Guards greeted them as they neared; three elves wandering the forest so close to their home must have been an unusual sight. Armed to the teeth, the guards looked to be seasoned but Ellana could tell from the movements of one that he had seen little battle. Placing a green soldier at such an important defensive point was likely an indication of just how bad the situation had gotten.

"What is your business here?" one of the guards enquired. The more senior of the two by Ellana's estimations, he spoke with a gruff tone but there was a measure of unexpected softness there.

Ellana took a cleansing breath before she spoke up for the group, "We have come to speak with Fairbanks. I trust he is still your leader?"

The guards looked at one another. Ellana needed no answer – the nature of their expressions all it took to inform her that she was correct.

"And who are you?" the other guard asked in a more rough tone, likely in compensation.

"I am Ellana Lavellan…former Inquisitor." She struggled slightly with her title. "I freed your people from the tyranny of the Freemen of the Dales."

She had decided before leaving for the Graves that deception was pointless. If Fairbanks was going to work for them then he needed to know she could be trusted and hiding her identity would do nothing to achieve that end. It was a risk; any one of his people could report her to the Inquisition; but she hoped he could prevent that from happening. Besides, if her plan failed, it was certain her identity would be freely given regardless.

The first guard spoke up again, shocked and stammering as a result of her admission, "My Lady, you have my apologies! I did not recognise you! I…I was there! You and your people fought bravely. It…it saddened me to hear you had left."

He continued gushing as he led them in to the complex. Shivra kept laughing with every new comment - Lis nudging her hard in the ribs each time.

"We've been having terrible trouble with bandits. We were hit hard this morning and Fairbanks is out fighting them off. You…you're welcome to wait here until he returns," the gushing guard explained. "It has been an honour, once again, my Lady."

With that, he left them to their own devices inside the walls of Argon's Lodge.

" _My lady!_ Ha! You ain't no fucking lady!" Shivra exclaimed, snickering away to herself.

She only stopped when Lis's elbow met her ribs one final time.

* * *

The sun had begun to set over the trees. They had been waiting longer than Ellana would have liked. More people approached her with each passing moment – many thanking her for the role she had played in eradicating the Freemen. Much to Ellana's annoyance, Shivra still found it hilarious.

"It's just funny watching humans cooing over an elf! Have you ever seen anything so ridiculous?" she remarked with a mocking laugh. "They love you because you helped them but would any one of them even _think_ to help one of our people? Fuck no! They're only interested in us when it benefits them. That last guy was hysterical. I thought he was going to propose any second!"

Lis laughed along with her. "Well I think the Dread Wolf might have something to say about that!" she cried, not thinking.

The laughter died when she saw Ellana's face. She stuttered - trying in vain to save herself but it was too late.

Nose wrinkled and eyes narrowed in suspicion, Shivra did not need much to question, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I just…I just meant that Ellana's married to the cause…right?" Lis tried hopefully.

"Don't fucking lie to me. I'm not anyone's fool, you hear?!" Shivra spat before turning her scowl in Ellana's direction. "Is she saying you have a thing going on with Fen'Harel?"

Her voice was beginning to attract the attention of the surrounding refugees. Ellana tried to quiet her and weasel her way out of the situation but Shivra was having none of it.

"Do not even try to fucking lie to me!" she roared, gesticulating wildly. "I know a bullshitter when I see one and _you_ are full of it! If you don't tell me the truth then I can promise you, you will regret it!"

She made to go on but Ellana held no desire to attract yet more wandering eyes. Hands to the incensed elf's shoulders, she put a stop to it before she could start, "Okay, fine! _Yes_ \- I have a close relationship with Fen'Harel. We met before I knew who he was…in the Inquisition and things…well…things kind of went from there…" Ellana trailed off in to nothing as Shivra's sceptical eyes bored in to her.

As if out of nothing, her look softened and an amused glint flickered briefly across her features. "Yeah… I did already know that…but good to hear it from you!"

With a tuneless whistle, Shivra wandered off to explore the lodge as if nothing had happened. The remaining two exchanged stunned looks.

Ellana broke the silence, "If she already knew then what the fuck was that about?!"

"Making a point, I guess," Lis replied, staring off at the now practically skipping Shivra.

Ellana scoffed loudly. "That's just insane! What point could you possibly be making with that?!"

"Well first and, I think, most importantly – _do not lie to Shivra_."

"No shit," Ellana interjected, joining Lis in her watching of this certifiably insane elf.

Lis giggled nervously. "Secondly, do not doubt that she knows just as much as you do."

Ellana only had a chance to wonder silently before the couple's conversation was cut short by activity at the front gate. People were entering the lodge and being greeted by their peers. Each one that came looked battle weary and some had noticeable injuries. Fairbanks entered last. He looked just as Ellana remembered – if a bit tired and worn. A guard pulled him aside and appeared to be giving him a long explanation while pointing in their direction. Ellana rose to meet him as he came over.

"Inquisitor, it is a pleasure to see you again," Fairbanks remarked, taking her hand. "Would you be so kind as to walk with me? We seem to have gathered a crowd and I am certain whatever business you may have would be better discussed in privacy."

Ellana opted to join him alone. If Fairbanks saw fit to offer her the courtesy of privacy then she too owed him as much. Even still, Lis watched them from her position on the ground until they turned a corner.

Firm grip still heavy on her arm, Fairbanks chuckled lightly. "Your attempts at disguise are not what I would call effective. I knew it was you the second I saw you. In all my time, I have yet to see anyone with eyes like yours..."

The comment gave her an uncomfortable feeling but did make her think. She had never thought her pale grey eyes to be all that remarkable but this was not the first time someone had made this comment.

"I could hardly remove them from my head," she replied with her own laugh. "There was only so much I could do with my appearance. Keeping away from places and situations where I could be recognised was the real disguise."

Turning the final corner in to a private room, his look turned grave. "Then you should not have come here."

* * *

"I was saddened to hear you had left the Inquisition. I knew it would only be a matter of time before they would be forced to pull out of the Graves and my people would be left to fight alone," Fairbanks remarked with melancholy. "Without you…well, it was bound to happen sooner…"

Ellana's pained stare finally drew his own. "What happened after I left?" she asked - wanting to get a perspective beyond Shivra's bias.

When Ellana departed, Fairbanks had been a working agent for the Inquisition. He had a great deal of inside knowledge, even if it was somewhat outdated. He told her of quiet disarray - troops loosing heart and abandoning their cause. Many believed, like Ellana, that the Inquisition's work was done and should no longer exist. They gradually lost numbers and power because of this belief. They were forced to remove any non-essential military presence in regions throughout Thedas; including the Emerald Graves. With that decision, they lost Fairbanks too.

He gazed down at Ellana in careful contemplation. "I will not ask you why you chose to leave. Your reasons are your own but I must know what has brought you here? You have risked exposure; something you have thus far avoided. It must be of great importance to warrant such risk."

Ellana allowed herself an inward sigh of relief before she spoke. She told him of the situation – the elves trapped and accosted by her former colleagues but kept the detail to a minimum. Everything she said, she ensured was laced with indignation. With each word, she emphasised her unwillingness to stand for such treatment of her people. She avoided the full reason why. He pondered each of her statements cautiously until she explained the need for his peoples' help and he chose to break his silence.

"I understand your situation; it is…a difficult one. I broke my ties with the Inquisition some time ago. To do what you ask, I would need to re-establish those ties…"

Each word he spoke seemed carefully chosen, as if measured against her potential worth. Ellana quickly saw this for the negotiation it would become.

Hand to his chin in thought, he went on, "I feel for your people and I do not doubt we could achieve what you ask but it is a great deal… We cannot afford to give any men to your cause in the current climate. I need them here, protecting my people."

He did not say it directly but it was clear to her what he wanted. Ellana sighed internally, disliking the unnecessary pageantry that came with this sort of approach. She had expected as much, so called 'gentlemen' were seldom direct but if needed, she too could play that game.

"Because of some bandits?" she responded, making certain to emit an air of confidence. "Things are truly _that_ dire?"

Fairbanks nodded sadly in response. "Dire would be a just assessment. We're losing at least one a week – sometimes a soldier; more often than not an innocent."

The attempt to pull at her heartstrings worked and her guard faltered, "This is one group?"

"In a manner of speaking," he remarked with a laboured sigh. "It started with many. That was… _easier_ to deal with. Now they've become organised; all swearing allegiance to a single leader and our attempts to make any progress against them fail. We cannot spare enough men to hunt them down without endangering this haven. All we can do is hold them off but with each passing day, that task becomes more difficult. We are losing too many…"

It seemed that no matter their origin, people suffered. Even still, he refused to just come out and ask for help.

Released from her desire to maintain the upper hand by her much stronger desire to prevent harm, Ellana took the step for him, "This leader…if he were to be removed, then it would be chaos once more and your men could cope. You could build and become better able to defend what you have when another rose to take his place… _and_ you could spare men to help us?"

Relief flashed briefly across his features. "More than likely… This is a large group, Ellana, and their leader hides in the shadows…"

Ellana cut him off, "I need you to help us. I _will not_ abandon my people and if this is what needs to be done to achieve that, then that's what I'll do. But I need a guarantee – if we take out the bandit leader, _will you help us_?"

"Yes. Do this for us and your people will be freed."

"Good." She got up to leave, more than satisfied. "One more thing." He gazed at her curiously. "Could you try and keep your people from spreading around that I was here? Tell them whatever you want but I'd rather not let the Inquisition find out where I am…not yet…"

He laughed. "Easier said than done but I shall do my utmost."

* * *

Night had fallen as she spoke with Fairbanks but Ellana did not want to put their task off until the morning. She wanted a result as quickly as possible and the thought of a night with her adoring fans was not something she wanted to be a part of. She had explained their task to Shivra and Lis before leaving. Lis seemed concerned by Fairbanks's warning - a feeling that Ellana shared but Shivra was positively thrilled by the idea. It appeared, rather unsurprisingly, that she hated bandits just as much as she seemed to hate most humans.

They came up with a plan as they made their way in to the forest. Ellana had a wealth of experience with bandits but even if she did not, these large-scale groups were far from difficult to predict. They would likely have many smaller cells, kept apart from the main camp and dotted about the wilderness to harass locals and steal supplies. Their target was one of these smaller groups. Finding one could give them the information they needed to find more and with that, the leader.

It was not long before they saw the distant light of a campfire through the trees. Bandits were, after all, not known for their subtlety. As they grew closer, the noise of bawdy conversation confirmed they had found their target.

"There are six of them," Shivra reported once she returned from scouting. "Drunk out their arses so…definitely our guys. One of them is fucking _huge_ , he could be a problem."

Ellana nodded in response and brushed the leaves from her clothing before speaking, "I'll take them."

Lis gawped at her. "Alone?" she asked, voice rising with concern. "Is that _really_ the best idea?"

Ellana flapped her hand in a dismissive gesture. "It's been so long since I could really let my hair down - it'll be fun. Besides, you won't be far if I need help."

Ellana tried not to openly admit it but she had always found battle exhilarating. She did lament when she took life from another being but even so, she could not deny the thrill it gave her. The art of overcoming an enemy and the years it had taken to hone her skills just deepened the feeling. She had been holding herself back since she left the Inquisition, afraid her skills might give her away but now there was no need. It would be wonderful to finally let loose.

Lis tried to protest more but Ellana was already gone.

* * *

"Hello boys!"

The bandits scrambled in to action. Their shock at the sudden appearance of Ellana in the middle of their camp was an amusing sight. Despite having ample opportunity, she opted to reveal herself openly rather than attack from the shadows. She told herself that she wanted to give them a chance to avoid bloodshed.

Weapons were being raised but Ellana ignored them all, enjoyment plain in her melodic voice, "I'm looking for your leader and I wondered if you fine gentlemen could give me a helping hand?"

The group remained stock-still, rendered aghast by this foolish elf's audacity. The one in the middle was a very large and formidable man, Shivra had been right. Whilst she considered her options, a small man at the edge of the group finally piped up.

"I'll give you a fucking hand, Princess."

With surprising speed, he came forward and went to grab Ellana by the throat but he was not fast enough. She dodged his hand, placing her own on the back of his head and with the help of his forward momentum, his face met the mud with a wet thud. Swords across all directions upon her, a second bandit moved in. She spun out of reach of his blade with ease and drew her own daggers. A few steps brought her so close she could smell him. At this distance, he was unable to strike her but she had the perfect opportunity. He fell with several wounds to his chest. Another had used her distraction to approach but she ignored him, dodging his feeble attempts at her life whilst her razor-sharp focus lay with another. Standing on the periphery with a bow, he posed a much greater risk but was easily subdued by means of a thrown dagger. She abandoned her current foe and closed the distance between herself and her deserted blade. She pulled it free of the man's head just in time; narrowly dodging an attack from the huge bandit. When he swung for her a second time, he found she had disappeared.

Those bandits that still held the ability thrashed about the camp looking for her. They yelled increasingly vulgar taunts as they grew more frustrated but Ellana paid them no mind. She was leaned happily against an out of view tree, quietly counting down. She knew the value of keeping an opponent off-balance.

"…three…two…one."

She emerged from the shadows like a whirlwind. The first died effortlessly, too surprised to react. The second took more coaxing but his fright inevitably led to mistakes. With a simple manoeuvre, Ellana was able to fool him in to catching his blade in the trunk of a tree and without it, he made for an easy victim. This left only the large man. Ellana squared up to him; no doubt in her mind that he would fall but not without difficulty. Unlike the others, he wore extensive armour and penetrating it would not be a straightforward task.

"Last chance, tell me where I can find your leader or this is going to get as ugly as your dead friends," she asked hopefully.

He practically snarled with rage. "You can fuck off! I'm going to kill you, you knife-eared bitc…"

His words gave way to gurgling as the tip of an arrow penetrated his throat. He fell to the ground seconds later. The arrow had pierced his neck from behind – perfectly placed where his helmet ended and his chest plate began. Bow in hand, Shivra emerged from the trees behind wearing a smug look on her face.

"What the fuck?!" Ellana exclaimed, stomping her foot like a petulant child. "I was dealing with him! I didn't need _your_ help!"

Shivra scoffed angrily, still wearing her smug look. "If I'd waited for you, we'd have been here all damn night! Dunno about you but I'm fucking tired and isn't this whole thing time sensitive? Were you even thinking _at all_? Hope you left one alive for questioning or else this really was a waste of our time!"

"That one," Ellana replied, still angry but somewhat sheepish in the wake of Shivra's words.

She pointed to the first bandit that had attacked her -still lying in the dirt but very much alive. Before anyone could react, Shivra was on top of him with her dagger drawn.

"Alright piss-bag, tell me where your leader is or I'm going to start ripping out your organs and feeding them to you!"

"Fuck yourself, knife-ear!" he exclaimed, the fear shaking his voice undeniably.

Shivra smiled wickedly. "Wrong answer." Careful to avoid causing serious damage, she cut in to his chest. "My companion may have killed all your friends but _trust me_ , I am your worst nightmare. You'll be begging me to kill you once I'm done!"

"Okay…okay!" he managed to shout between cries of pain. "They're in the caves to the west. Follow the mountains and you can't miss it!"

"That wasn't so hard now, was it?" Shivra responded with a smirk. She got up in one fluid motion, leaving him in the dirt. "Put your head down and count to one hundred. And fucker…" She swiftly kicked him in the side. "If you've given us the wrong information, I'm coming back for you."

They left him lying in the dirt - counting fearfully. None of them spoke as they travelled west.

* * *

Ellana hated caves. Not being able to see the sky gave her an uncomfortable feeling and she loathed the musty smell that always seemed to emanate from within. It reminded her too much of the smell of death.

Having gotten over the shock of Shivra's actions, the group was chatting more. Ellana welcomed the distraction. She was growing increasingly tired and the boredom of trawling through cave after cave was wearing on her. They talked about what they would do when they returned home and what they missed most being out in the field. Lis missed the people. She missed being surrounded by the people she knew and could talk to. Shivra missed them too but not in the same way. She never felt she needed friends but she could not help missing her own kind. The guard she kept up around everyone was so much more pronounced around humans and Ellana imagined it must at least be taxing for her, if not outright exhausting. Eager to lighten the mood, Shivra added that she missed alcohol - a sentiment the others happily shared. Ellana told them she missed bathing. It was a truth but a half one – she did not wish to say whom she truly missed. Giving words to it would just provoke a reaction and she held no want to deal with that. She also disliked how dependent it made her feel. It had been less than a day, hardly something to cry about but yet, here she was, missing him. Lis mercifully had not mentioned it, likely due to Shivra's presence but Ellana was pleased nonetheless. She was trying to avoid thinking about him.

Excluding their discussions, the caves were oddly quiet. Ellana started to worry that the bandit had steered them in the wrong direction. Paranoid thoughts pervaded her mind but at no point did it occur to her that he had thought to beat them here. As they rounded a corner in to a larger chamber they were met by a group of at least twenty. Bows were drawn and pointed in their direction - ready to strike and troops waited with weapons unsheathed. In the centre stood a man wearing the most complete set of armour out of the bunch. Likely stolen, a horned helm sat atop his head.

"You must be the elves that killed my men in the forest," he said, his voice echoing menacingly around the chamber. "Surrender now and we'll _maybe_ let you live."

With a slight smile, Ellana could do little but think she would far rather die than be kept as some bandit's pet; until Shivra cut off her train of thought. She had noticed the bandit who had told them this location standing in the back row.

"You've done it now, fucker!" she exclaimed, moving towards them. She stopped dead when the bows all turned to her.

Ellana was overwhelmed. She searched her mind for a plan and found little. They could surrender and escape later but that was a risky option – the bandits would likely not treat them well. Fighting was just as risky. They were severely outnumbered and although Ellana believed in their skills, she was far from certain that they could beat these odds.

While Ellana remained deep in thought, Shivra piped up, "We have friends, _dangerous_ friends! You don't want to fuck with us."

Ellana agreed wholeheartedly with her point but could not see where she was going with this argument. Not a one of their 'dangerous friends' was remotely nearby so the sentiment bore little relevance. She regarded Shivra with a puzzled look only to see she too had turned to her.

"Her boyfriend…" Much to Ellana's shock, Shivra pointed at her. "He's the fucking big, bad wolf. Kill us and he'll fuck you up!"

"My _boyfriend_?!" Ellana remarked in disbelief. She hated that word; it seemed so infantile. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"No, seriously!" Shivra went on, unperturbed by Ellana's outburst. "He's a _fucking badass_ and he loves her! Kill her and he'll burn you lot alive!"

Losing control of her temper, Ellana had had enough, "Will you shut up?! This is not the time for your bullshit! You think they're going to let us go because you make threats?! What a load of shit!"

The bandit leader and his coterie just gawked at them. Thrown off-guard by the sudden and inappropriately timed argument that was unfolding before their eyes, many had lowered their weapons.

"What are you trying to say?!" Shivra yelled, gesturing so wildly that no one but Lis noticed her slip a small item from her pocket. "So he doesn't actually care about you?! He wouldn't murder all these fuckers if they killed you?! Guess it's a lot less than you made out!"

Ellana did little to hide her hurt. "Fuck. You." She turned to Lis, "Can you believe this shit?!"

Lis widened her eyes, desperately trying to communicate something to her but she was too far-gone.

She rounded on Shivra, "Stop talking about things you know nothing about! You act like you're all-knowing but you know bugger all! Now of all times! You are the worst fucking person I've ever had to deal with!"

Shivra's expression turned instantly neutral. "Ellana, cover your eyes for fucks sake."

Before she could react, Shivra threw a small object to the ground and smoke erupted from it, engulfing the room.

Ellana could barely see; the smoke stung her eyes but she could make out movements. Shivra and Lis were long gone, attacking the dismayed guards with fervour. Once she understood what was happening, Ellana joined them. The bandits had been distracted completely by their argument and that alone left them off-guard but the addition of the smoke engineered ample disorder. Obscuring the room had prevented all use of bows, which in turn prevented the elves' instantaneous demise. However, the smoke made seeing as much of a problem for Ellana and her team as it was for the bandits. The bandits almost immediately erupted in to complete chaos - every man for himself but the elves - they worked together with frightening efficiency. Where one could not see, another would shout what they saw - warning one another of any inbound harm. This strategy left them with only three opponents once the smoke cleared. Shivra took one out with a quick arrow to the head and Lis dispatched the remaining bandit with a well placed backstab. Ellana and Lis rounded on the last - the leader in all his horned glory. He was clearly more skilled in combat than his soldiers. The two of them together were barely keeping him busy but it was enough. Distracted with the two elves, the leader neglected to see Shivra nocking an arrow. He only thought to remember the third elf when the others ducked but by then, it was too late. All he felt was a numbing pain pulsing from his eye. He reached for it - trying to pull the arrow from his own head before slumping to the floor, dead.

* * *

The group of elves trudged through the wilderness. They had gotten lost twice trying to leave the caves and all could agree that patience was wearing thin. The sun had kindly risen during their time in the labyrinth but that brought Ellana little comfort. She walked ahead of the others, still aggrieved. Shivra had her reasons and she even apologised but she had also called Ellana the 'easiest target'. Ellana did not like being seen as a target, let alone an easy one. As she walked, the bandit leader's helm that she held periodically bashed against her thigh. At the very least, she could say they had achieved their goal. Lis ran up to join her, something clearly on her mind but Ellana barely even noticed. After everything, all she wanted was to be done with this and return to what she needed – Solas's comfort.

"So I've been thinking," Lis started tentatively. "We need more people for our make-shift crew and well…Shivra seems like…"

"You've got to be kidding me," Ellana interrupted without a thought.

Lis looked almost taken aback. "She's smart, resourceful and damn good with that bow. She saved our lives twice on this trip alone!"

"Twice?" Ellana paused until it dawned on her. "You better not mean that bandit in the woods! I was dealing with him! I didn't need saving!"

"Well you can't deny she definitely saved our skins in that cave," Lis replied with an exasperated sigh. "I had no idea how we were going to get out of that one and she just storms in like it was nothing!"

Ellana could hardly argue with that. They probably would have survived either way but Shivra's quick thinking undoubtedly got results. She still found it difficult to imagine working with Shivra in the long term but she could not deny she would be a valuable asset to the team.

"I guess I could ask her and see what she says," Ellana finally responded, avoiding any real answer.

"Yay! We'll be a proper little team! " Lis exclaimed, much too excited by the notion. "Are you going to ask her before we leave?"

Ellana sighed in resignation. "Once we've settled things with Fairbanks."

* * *

Ellana was whisked away as soon as they entered Argon's Lodge. Fairbanks was evidently pleased with the results. He agreed to do as she had asked; promising her people would be freed as soon as possible. They ironed out terms with Ellana making notes of everything that transpired. She knew he was not one to go back on his word but she wanted to ensure she had a record of their plans. With this out of the way, he started asking awkward questions – what her people were supposed to have done and why it mattered to her. She deflected him as best she could but before she could make a hasty exit, he asked her one final question.

"Rumours are a difficult beast, most of all amongst a crowd...as it was in the Inquisition," he mused, gazing at her intently. "One of your companions from before - the elven mage, Solas I believe his name was… _Everyone_ was talking about him. Unbelievable things… _terrible_ things… Was any of it true?"

Ellana considered for a moment before replying, "Yes. I mean, probably… I cannot know what was being said but…there was probably some truth to it."

"Is this about him? You two seemed…close," he enquired, choosing his words with care.

She could not help but look away. "I just want my people free."

She left before he had a chance to ask anything more. It thoroughly irritated her that literally everyone seemed to know her business. She thought she had always been subtle but clearly, she overestimated herself. It was becoming something of a theme.

Ellana found her teammates sitting apart from the humans. They were laughing together and it would have been a pleasant sight if Ellana were not so wound up and, quite frankly, exhausted. Lis gazed up at her with worry as she drew nearer but the glint of the amusement she had felt mere moments ago remained deep in her eyes. For some reason, that minute detail spoke volumes to Ellana.

"Success?" Lis asked, the worry becoming more pronounced.

Ellana gave two short nods of her head. "He gave me his word; our people will be out in no time."

"That's great!" Lis squealed joyfully. Her expression fell almost instantly. "Isn't it? You seem pissed?"

Shivra snorted at her side. "She's always pissed."

Ellana ignored their comments and spoke directly to Shivra, "I need to talk to you. Let's go outside."

This time, Shivra's expression was the one to fall. "Well, shit. I guess…" She got up with some apprehension to follow Ellana out of the lodge. "You're not going to take me out there and kill me are you? I think that's a bit of an overreaction."

Ellana ignored her complaints until she was satisfied they were far enough away that no one would overhear. She turned to face Shivra and said nothing. Keeping her in suspense for as long as possible was intensely gratifying if somewhat harsh.

Shivra broke first, "Look, if this is about before then I'm sorry. _Again_! I only did it to distract them and it worked, didn't it? Besides, I don't get what your problem is. I'd be damn pleased with myself if I was you. Having someone like that at your back must make you feel like one dangerous woman!"

Ellana had never thought of it in that way. For so long she had thought of Solas's abilities as nothing more than that of a typical elven mage. Even now, the idea of what he truly was still felt foreign to her. Thinking on it, she found herself inadvertently smiling. Despite the knowledge that it was so much more than that, she found she quite liked the idea.

She caught herself before Shivra had time to notice her reverie. "No, it's not that - I can let that go. I mean, you pissed me off but I get why…"

"That was sort of the point," Shivra annoyingly commented.

Ellana fought the building urge to descend in to yet another argument. "I wanted to ask you if you would be interested in joining our team permanently. You're a free agent now, so you have options. All I need to know is if you would be interested?"

"But…I thought you hated me?" Shivra asked, genuine surprise written across her features.

"Hate is a very strong word. You and I have our differences but you are good at what you do," Ellana replied, taking great care with her words. "You have proved very valuable and I am certain that wherever we find ourselves, you would continue to be. I can work to see past our differences if it means gaining your skills."

"Thanks, I guess," Shivra replied in a whisper. There was a pause and in spite of all the confidence she portrayed, Shivra appeared to be wrestling with her own doubts. "You know what? Fuck it! I'm game!"

Ellana had run through this conversation in her head several times and she had always ended up disappointed. Luckily for her, that was not reality and in that moment, she actually felt elated. Lis had been right - Shivra was an asset and Ellana knew she needed to see past her own feelings for the good of the cause. Shivra could be boorish but she intrigued her. In her experience, people always had reasons for the ways they behaved; there was always something more to it. Ellana was certain there was definitely more to Shivra.

* * *

 **A/N - This chapter was updated on 08/03/18 with a general rewrite.**


	8. The Keeper

At this time of the year, the snow fell thick on Skyhold. The courtyard was quieter than it had been in a long time. People had left their numbers as the world returned to normalcy. Many simply wished to return to their families, a sentiment Commander Cullen could appreciate. Others believed the Inquisition's work was done and left to pursue other ventures. The Inquisitor herself had taken this view. She lobbied hard for the Inquisition to disband but he regrettably joined his colleagues in denying her. He believed the threat they now faced was arguably even more dangerous than what had come before. The immediate peril they had met with the rifts was absent but they all knew that, if given a chance, this too could end in the destruction of this world.

Despite the obvious dissent their decision caused, Cullen was still surprised and saddened by Ellana's departure. They all were. She had been troubled for a long time and the events with the Exalted Council only worsened her state but no one imagined she would abandon them. What remained of her companions left shortly after she did. The majority offered their services if they were ever needed but none chose to remain. For their own reasons, each one needed a break from the life they had held for much too long. Even Cassandra was forced to leave to perform her duties as Divine; although she at least, frequently visited. Cullen could afford no such luxury. With Ellana gone - Josephine, Leliana and he were the last defence against Solas and his plan. They could not afford to stand idle lest he gain too much power.

Not that their sacrifice had amounted to much. Their enemy was much too careful. To the untrained eye, it appeared nothing was happening. Events that could be linked to his agents were so un-substantial that they melded in with the everyday happenings of Thedas. A sighting of a group of elves on the outskirts of a town could just as easily be a Dalish clan too close to civilisation; a theft of manuscripts could just as easily be the work of bandits. Leliana insisted a pattern was emerging. Cullen did not doubt her; she was a spy by trade, she knew how these things worked but he could not see it himself. As more joined with Fen'Harel they hoped it would become easier to see his actions. They just had to follow the elves.

Finding Ellana proved even more difficult. There were whisperings of her over the past year; vague sightings in various places but never anything they could trust. Cullen had struggled with the idea of looking for her in the first place - she clearly did not want to be found. He had always held a torch for her, despite his better judgement. He had been cruelly disappointed when it became clear that she only had eyes for Solas. Cullen had hoped that he might have had a chance when Solas left but he had been a fool to think that way. Ellana was much too damaged and he ultimately decided not to act on his feelings. Losing her had hit them all hard but Leliana seemed to be the most affected. She became like a woman possessed with purpose; finding their lost Inquisitor, her one true goal. With Cassandra and Josephine in agreement, Cullen was overruled which left Leliana to quite happily head the hunt.

In spite of his melancholy, he had hope they would succeed. Leliana had managed to remove threats within their own ranks - securing their position. She also regularly spoke of a newly acquired agent: some elf within a Dalish clan acquired through coercion and incentive. He had been their first agent to report any mention of Fen'Harel beyond rumour. He spoke of meetings with the clan's Keeper and talk of recruitment. Leliana seemed to think it was a promising lead. Josephine was doing her part as well; keeping them supplied with whatever they needed even with continued resistance. Many could not accept that the world was in peril once again; believing it to be a ruse set up by the Inquisition to maintain their power. It did not matter to Cullen because he knew the truth. They were doing what they had always done - trying to save the world.

* * *

Ellana could barely contain her excitement as they finally stepped out the Eluvian and on to familiar ground. It had been a long time since she had felt this at home. She joined Lis and Shivra on the walk back to the encampment. With the departure of Daman's group and discounting Ellana's rarely used tent, Lis was the only occupant. Shivra had decided to move her belongings in to one of the empty tents and truth be told, it did seem logical to keep the team together. Ellana tried to join in with their discussions but she could not stop fidgeting.

Lis caught her looking at the tower. "Seriously, just go. We'll be fine without you."

"Yeah," Shivra piped up, "You're going to be fuck all help in that state."

"Thanks guys! I promise I'll be back later. We can celebrate!" Ellana exclaimed quickly, not wanting to argue. She was gone before either could reply.

"He's got some hold over that girl, doesn't he?" Shivra mused.

"Yeah. Hope he finally appreciates it," Lis replied bitterly.

* * *

It was nearing evening when Ellana reached the long-awaited top floor of the tower. She had hoped this would mean she could have Solas all to herself but when she entered the study, Varden was sitting in a chair opposite Solas's desk. The man himself was seated across and both appeared to be drinking wine.

"Ellana!" he exclaimed, visibly surprised to see her. "You're back _already_? That was far quicker than anticipated!"

Varden interjected, "Did you succeed?" He spoke with scepticism; plainly not believing she could of completed her task in such a short time frame.

"Well, he agreed to help us…so I would take that as a yes," she replied with irritation. She pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and unfolded it to give to Varden. "Those are the terms we agreed upon. His men will gradually free our agents through whatever means they consider necessary and accompany each one to a nearby village. From there, our people will be able to make their way back here. I told him to send any updates by raven to a location I used to use." She gestured lazily to the paper he now held. "It's somewhere on there if you want to send anyone." She struggled to pull her gaze from Solas while she spoke. He appeared exceedingly pleased, if a bit smug.

"This is excellent news!" Varden said with genuine feeling. Noting neither of his companions seemed remotely interested in him, he went on, "I should probably go and study these terms," before making a tactful exit.

Barely even noticing, Ellana drew ever closer to Solas. "You're drinking? You never drink!"

"I was concerned for you. Varden brought the wine; he believed I may need help sleeping," he replied, raising an unamused eyebrow.

"He doesn't know you very well then, does he? If this place was on fire you would still be able to sleep quite happily." She seated herself on the edge of the desk closest to him with a dramatic sigh. "Not us though! We stayed up the whole damn night so you were right to be worried! You know I need my rest!" she whined, taking his cup from him and finishing the contents.

"Oh you poor thing!" he added teasingly, a hand finding her thigh. "But it went well, hardships aside?"

She filled him in on the details including Shivra joining her team.

"An all-round success," he remarked once she had finished her story.

"I suppose… It went about as well as I could have hoped." She paused, considering him for a moment. "You know, one of the girls was talking about you and she…she said something that got me thinking…"

"Do _all_ of your friends know about us?" he interrupted, brow crinkled slightly in annoyance.

"Well, yes…although it's just those two."

She had not thought that he would take such umbrage to the idea and while she could understand why, she was hardly going to lie to the people she should trust.

She got to her feet as frustration took over. "You're missing the point! She was saying that being with you must make me feel dangerous…" She moved slowly to occupy the space between him and the desk. "It was a strange thought at first; I guess I never looked at you in that way before but now…" She placed a knee on his chair, her body painfully close to his. "…now things are different and thinking on it, it kind of does." She brought the other knee to rest on his other side, fingers touching his neck and lips brought tantalisingly close to his own. "It's kind of hot."

He could no longer stand the provocation and pulled her in for a deep kiss. She voraciously accepted, no longer holding back from him - hands wandering.

"I had no idea power was such a turn on for you," he remarked during a natural pause.

She stopped to gaze briefly up at the ceiling. "Neither did I." She giggled, finally returning her eyes back to his. "But here we are!"

She kissed him again. Beneath her own, she could feel a smile break across his lips.

He pulled away, "Alright, vhenan. I believe I can work with this."

Before Ellana could react, he had risen out of his chair and guided her back to the desk with a heavy thud. She was about to yell at him when he grabbed her hair, forcing her lips to his. She hungrily accepted him. In spite of the potential bruising, she was starting to like this Solas. They began exploring one another's bodies with their hands, each getting ready for what was wonderfully approaching. Ellana whined gratefully before a knock at the door startled them both. She came jumping back but Solas tried to ignore it. The knocking became more insistent and he finally pulled himself away from her. He shouted what could only be an elvhen curse as he smashed his palms off the desk on either side of her in frustration. The fright his action gave her was evident but the look she got in return turned any feeling she had back to desire. He stormed over to the door, opening it only enough to speak with the person on the other side. Ellana could not hear the intruder's side of the conversation but she could hear Solas - clear irritation doing nothing for his volume.

" _Oh, wonderful_ ," he remarked sarcastically. He sighed and finally dropped his tone. "I will be with you in a minute."

He came away from the door and turned to Ellana. She thought to bite her lip, knowing exactly what the obvious invitation would do to him.

His expression grew instantly pained. "I have to go," he said, more as if he were convincing himself. "You have _no idea_ how sorry I am…" A slight smile overcame him and his look turned to one of complete seriousness. "Do not move."

His thrillingly forceful tone made something inside of her flutter but he left all too quickly. Disappointed their tryst had been cut short, she lay back on the desk with yet another thud. Wincing slightly, she carefully rubbed the sore points on her back; hopeful she had not received bruises for nothing.

* * *

Ellana tried to maintain her desire in his absence but it had been difficult. She was exhausted. The remainder of the wine had helped at first but now it was just adding to her tiredness. Mercifully, he was not long. She was up from the desk and looking out of the window by the time he returned. She met the sound of the door closing with eager anticipation. She could tell he was still angry from the interruption and that would only help.

With an eyebrow raised, he strode towards her. "You moved. I'll make you regret that."

"I look forward to it," was all she managed before he reached her.

He grabbed her and pressed her against the glass with such force that she was afraid she would fall straight through. Her fear evaporated as he kissed her. Her feet no longer touched the ground, his arms wrapped around her taking the majority of her weight. With anyone else the lack of control would cause her discomfort but not with him. Using her legs for grip, she allowed him the use of his hands and together, they removed the upper half of his clothing; never breaking apart. He grabbed her wrists, forcing her arms above her head and in to the glass as he kissed her more deeply. She whined, pulling weakly against his grip, desperately wanting her hands to touch him. He slowly released her wanting the same for himself. Finally freed, Ellana wrapped her legs more tightly around his waist, forcing her hips closer and ran her fingers hard across the breadth of his shoulders. The sound he made only encouraged her - nails this time claiming his back. His lips left her briefly as hands gripped her behind roughly. With a hand to his jaw, she compelled him back to her and powerless to resist, he kissed her once more. Neither deviated until she landed forcefully back on the desk's surface without Solas.

"Remove the clothes," he ordered, watching her intently.

While wearing a smirk, she very slowly undid the threads of her leathers. She knew he would not be able to resist helping for long. Just as predicted, he let out a frustrated growl and gave in but he did so roughly. Ellana swore she heard something rip as he pulled open her leather cuirass. In fear for the rest of her clothing, she held him back as she wriggled out of her leather breeches. Once she had finally slipped her tunic over her head, he took a moment to appreciate her and the compromising position in which she found herself.

"Much better," he finally remarked, delightfully dominating from above. "Now let us see if you are up to task."

* * *

Ellana struggled to keep herself awake, aware as she was of the promise she had made to her friends. She got up when she was certain Solas had fallen asleep. Dressing proved difficult. As she had feared, the fastenings were torn out of her cuirass so she abandoned it on the floor and opted to leave wearing just her tunic, trousers and boots. She scrawled a note telling him where she had gone just before she went.

She found her friends lying in the grass next to their tents. Bottles littered the floor around them and both were giggling happily. When Lis heard Ellana approaching, she sat up.

"Hey! It's you! Did you have fun?" she asked, slurring her words.

Ellana sank down on to the floor next to her with a muted laugh. " _Oh yeah_. I see you got started without me?"

Eager to join in the fun, she picked up stray bottles until she found one that was not empty. They spent the rest of the night chatting and laughing together. Shivra eventually fell asleep in the grass and not wanting to wake her, the remaining two moved their chatter to Lis's tent. Neither was able to fight their exhaustion for long; falling soundly asleep in a heap.

* * *

"Ellana?"

Ellana stirred as the voice reached her. She could feel a hand placed on her shoulder but lacked the strength or inclination to act on it. She had been in a deep sleep and was not keen on giving it up.

"Ellana?"

When she eventually opened her eyes, her surroundings jarred her for a moment but all too quickly, memories of last night returned along with a nasty headache. She turned to face the voice that had awoken her and was all the more perplexed to see Solas.

"What are you doing in Lis's tent?" she asked brusquely, rubbing her eyes in an attempt to get them to open fully.

From what little she could see beyond the post-drinking fog, he did not look particularly amused. "Your friends led me to you." He smiled and her worry abated. "It's the middle of the day, Ellana…"

"Well, shit." She sat up suddenly, only worsening her aching head. "It's really that late?!"

She brushed a hand through her hair, wincing as her head pounded. She hoped she at least did not look like too much of a state. Gazing at him, finally in focus, she was surprised to see he was wearing normal clothing instead of his usual armour but there appeared to be no aversion in his eyes. He appeared, at worst, amused by her dishevelled appearance.

"I intended to speak with you earlier but you never surfaced. As time wore on, I thought it best to track you down myself," he continued, smile only widening as she made further futile attempts to fix her hair. "I probably should not have been surprised to find you asleep."

"What did you want to talk about?" she enquired, getting up from the bed and straightening out her clothes.

He rose too, taking her busy hands in his own. "Shall we go for a walk?" he asked, running his own hand across the length of her hair. "Such matters should be discussed in a place of at least some privacy."

They walked through the encampments towards the forest, passing both of her friends. In spite of the hangovers they too appeared to be suffering, they still quite clearly had been eavesdropping. Even with Solas's plain clothing, onlookers watched them with eager curiosity as they went. Once she was certain they were out of sight, she eagerly took his hand. They walked in comfortable silence until they reached the stream. Ellana yawned as they came to a stop.

"Still tired?" he asked, pulling her ever so slightly closer to him.

A second yawn turned in to something of a laugh before she spoke, "It was a busy night!"

He chuckled lightly. "I cannot argue with that sentiment." He released her hand, smirking away to himself. "How's the back?"

She turned and lifted up her tunic to show off the dappled bruising that lay beneath.

"I think you got a bit carried away!" she whined, turning back to face him with an overly dramatic grimace.

"I was not the only one," he said, copying Ellana's actions.

When he lifted his shirt, deep red scratch marks were visible.

She gasped, barely able to contain her embarrassment. "I am so sorry!" She ran a finger gently over the deepest cut. "They don't hurt, do they?"

He turned back to face her allowing his shirt to fall back in to place.

"Whatever injuries I may have sustained were more than worth it, vhenan."

"I couldn't agree more," she said, sliding a hand up the front of his shirt.

With a slight movement, he denied her advances. "We need to discuss your next assignment."

Her disgruntled frown turned to a look of curiosity. "Oh? You already have something in mind?"

"I had something in mind before you even agreed to take this position. Unfortunately, that business with the agents got in the way but now that it is dealt with… I warn you, you are not going to be thrilled with what I must ask of you…"

"Well don't leave me in suspense, Solas!" she exclaimed as he trailed off rather uselessly.

He told her of a Dalish clan currently making their home in the Exalted Plains. Their Keeper was renowned for her knowledge of all things elven. Solas could obviously outdo her in many elements but he only knew his world, as it was when he lived it. His knowledge of what came after the Veil was another story. All he had were pieces, collected from both the Fade and his travels but he needed more. Combining the Keeper's knowledge with his own would undoubtedly expedite their mission. What he asked of Ellana was to meet with this Keeper and negotiate for her to join their ranks. He had been right - the idea did not thrill her. The thought of being immersed in Dalish culture after so long was uncomfortable and, although she had often been involved in diplomacy with the Inquisition, she did not feel she had any particular skill in that area. She was about to start arguing when the approaching voices of her friends broke her from the thought.

Likely sensing her disapproval, Solas remarked, "Come by the tower later and we can discuss the matter further. For now - think on it."

Lis made it first through the trees. "Oh… Sorry. Didn't realise you were still here…" she commented, eyes fixed to Solas with eager curiosity.

Likely visible to Ellana alone, he quite clearly did not enjoy the regard of this stranger.

He shook his head ever so slightly. "It is quite alright - I was just leaving."

Shivra approached him as he moved with a look of awe on her face.

"You know, I was there that day in the ruins when you took down that group of mages. It was bloody majestic…" she interrupted wistfully.

Solas stopped, visibly taken aback. "Ending a life is not an act that should be celebrated, even when there is no other option."

He left, not giving her a chance to respond but even if he had, it seemed unlikely she would have been capable. As he walked away, Ellana could only just hear Shivra's impressed whisper.

" _Such a badass_ …"

* * *

"Do you have a thing for him or something? That's adorable!" Ellana teased, giggling mercilessly.

"Fuck off! Nothing like that!" Shivra exclaimed, both angry and so embarrassed, her face had turned bright red. "He's just so _impressive_! The best part is you'd never know it from looking at the guy - so unassuming, even with all that power."

"Yeah, I don't see it," Lis added with a shrug. "Seems like a pretty normal guy to me. Well, he's got that self-assured thing that all leaders have but otherwise - normal."

"You've not seen him fight!" Shivra retorted angrily. "It's like watching a master painter at work but he does it with what seems like no effort. It would be something to see him take on something really tough…"

"Could you two save this discussion for a time when I am not present?" Ellana interjected feeling uncomfortably awkward herself. "It's way too weird. What did you want anyway?"

"I wanted to run something by you," Shivra started, the wistful look finally gone from her face. "I had been thinking about a friend of mine - Miris. She would be a great addition to our team. She's a very talented agent; a mage too and she's due back from a job anytime now. I thought I might ask her if she would be interested in joining us." She nodded to Lis. "Blondie figured I should run it by you before I did anything…"

"Definitely," Ellana replied, dipping her head to Lis in acknowledgement of the gesture. "If you think she'd be a good fit then she must have something. Although, don't give her any guarantees. I'll need to meet her and get a measure for myself before we make any decisions."

"You won't regret it!" Shivra exclaimed, running off in excitement before anyone could get another word in.

Lis and Ellana sighed in unison.

"So what did he want to talk to you about? Seemed important. Anything my innocent ears can handle?" Lis asked teasingly.

Ellana sighed at the thought. "I think we have a new assignment."

She filled Lis in on what little details she knew. She too was not thrilled by the idea. Lis had little experience of large-scale negotiations and her knowledge of the Dalish themselves was just as limited. She feared she would commit some terrible faux pas and mess it all up. Ellana doubted that. For what she lacked in knowledge, Lis made up for in discretion. She could be blunt, even boorish at times with people she knew but never in a professional capacity. The same could not be said for Shivra. Together, they could not help but worry what a traditional Dalish clan would make of her.

* * *

Ellana sat cross-legged on the floor of her tent with notes nestled in her lap. She had already been to meet with Solas in the tower and now knew a great deal more about their next assignment. She had heard of the clan during her youth but never met any of their number. Clan Namahris were considered odd amongst the other clans. Rumour had it they rejected much of Dalish tradition and their Keeper, Mirwen, was said to be especially strange. She claimed to have 'the sight', as it was known. Amongst the Dalish it was not uncommon for people to declare they had the ability to see the future but Ellana had yet to meet one who could back their claims up with any actual proof. Solas treated it with just as much scepticism when he told her of the Keeper's claims but Ellana had too much on her mind at the time to give it much thought. She could not help but ask him the very thought that pervaded her mind - why he did not give this task to quite literally anyone else. She was certain there had to be more experienced and better-suited agents including the most obvious choice - himself. She was surprised to hear she would not be the first person to try to negotiate with the Keeper. Solas had sent many over the years; including approaching the Keeper himself in a manner of speaking. Every time she had denied him. Adding to his frustration, she never dismissed his attempts with any finality; always hinting he could potentially succeed with the next attempt. More recently, she had started sending notes back with the rejected agents. Ellana studied all four now. The Keepers pluckiness and the irritation it no doubt caused Solas over the years was at least amusing.

The first one read – " _Although I appreciate all the attention, dear Wolf, your choice of envoy leaves much to be desired. I eagerly await the day you send the correct one."_

Solas explained he decided to send Varden following the first note but he was also rebuffed with a similar note. It read – _"It is promising to see you are taking my advice to heart. On this occasion, the elf you sent me was clearly a man more worthy of your name but therein rests the problem. The one I seek shares more in common with myself than any man could."_

Solas took that to mean he needed to send a female but that did not work either. The third note said simply – _"Wrong again, Dread Wolf."_

Mirwen must have begun to tire of the continued failures because the fourth and final note was the clearest of them all – _"Please apologise to your agent on my behalf, I did not wish to waste either of our time in discussions doomed to fail. I seek one and one alone and without her, I see no point in repeating our meetings. I see her in my dreams, as you do; eyes like steel and a resolve that is just as unbreakable. Until she finds her way back to you, I am afraid we have little more to discuss. I wish you well in your endeavours, Dread Wolf."_

Not wanting to accept the implications of her words, it was following this note that Solas in the form of a wolf approached Mirwen in the fade. It was not long after this that Ellana re-entered his life.

The notes certainly piqued her curiosity. Ellana could not deny that the final note in all its ambiguity did seem to be referring to her but she could not see how that was possible. It seemed unlikely that Mirwen would have much knowledge of the Inquisition; definitely not enough to know that Solas had any sort of history with Ellana. Despite Solas's continued scepticism, Ellana did begin to wonder if the Keeper was truthfully having visions.

As she sat pondering, Ellana's research was interrupted by the arrival of Lis, Shivra and another she did not recognise. The stranger was exceptionally tall for a female elf. She carried a silver staff with a usually large curved blade branching down from the top. Her hair was platinum blonde and tied in a stiff bun atop predominantly hard features. Her stare felt oddly intimidating; ice blue eyes fixed to Ellana without a shred of apprehension.

"Hey, hot stuff!" Shivra bellowed with a decided smirk. "This is Miris - the one I was telling you about. I told her about our crew and she wants in! Uh…I mean, if you'll have her…"

Ellana rose to greet her new acquaintance, "It's a pleasure to meet you Miris. So _you are_ interested in joining with us?"

Miris's noble features gave little away. "I am. I seldom work within a team but what Shivra has told me of your exploits is intriguing…enough to reconsider that position. If you find it agreeable, I would be open to the idea."

Ellana narrowed her eyes. "What skills could you offer?"

"My talents include battle prowess, offensive magic and a strong knowledge of elven lore. What I lack in roguish skills, I more than make up for on the battlefield," Miris replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

Ellana was finding her frustratingly difficult to read and doubted further talk would yield much more. She would need to get more creative than mere questioning to assess this woman.

"I am yet to be convinced," she remarked with a hand to her chin in thought.

Ellana turned and walked away from the group. Shivra let out an exasperated cry, likely in the belief that her friend had been rejected outright. Searching the ground around her, Ellana came to a gradual stop at the edge of the forest. She returned, much to the surprise of the others, with two sticks – one of similar length to a staff and the other somewhat shorter.

"If you want to work with us then prove it," she said, throwing the longer stick to Miris. "Show me what you're made of."

She snapped the smaller stick on her knee, which made each section mimic the size a dagger. She unsheathed her actual daggers and threw them to the floor.

"You want me to fight you?" Miris questioned, finally letting her façade slip a little but handing her genuine staff to Shivra all the same.

"Precisely," Ellana replied with a nod. "No real weapons but I want you to take this seriously. Give me everything you have."

She moved away from the group in to the open area between the camp and the forest.

"Very well," Miris replied, swinging her makeshift staff around her body as she came to join Ellana in the open.

Barely able to contain the thrill she already felt, Ellana smiled. "Well then, let's begin."

She had moved before Miris could react. She only just managed to throw out some defensive swings before Ellana was upon her. She used an acrobatic fighting style, much like her opponent. The two of them sparring was a sight to behold and a small crowd formed quickly. Miris kept Ellana at bay with defensive swipes unaware that she was just waiting for her chance. With a particularly wide swing, Ellana saw her opening. She slid beneath the stave with ease and arrived behind her off-balance opponent.

Pressing the tips of her pretend blades to Miris's back she said, "I just killed you. You're going to have to do better than that."

They broke apart. This time Miris moved first, closing the gap with renewed vigour. She managed to connect the pommel end of her makeshift weapon with Ellana's shoulder but it did little to dissuade the relentless elf. She dodged the majority of Miris's attacks and after a particularly harsh tirade of swings, Miris was shocked to find her gone. Before she could turn, a kick hit the back of her knee and her leg crumpled beneath her. A quick shove to the shoulder was all it took to direct her to the ground and Ellana was at her throat before she knew what had happened. Judging by the cheers that followed, the crowd of onlookers had grown.

"And that's you dead again," Ellana stated as she rose once again to her feet.

Ellana paced as her opponent rose, frustration growing in her chest. She could tell that Miris had a great deal of potential but something was holding her back.

"Are you taking this seriously?!" she shouted, anger rising in her tone. "Is this a game to you?! If this was a real fight, that could have been _your life_ or _your teammates' lives_! I need you to show me that you're more than this!"

Miris had closed her eyes but Ellana was not about to show leniency. She held nothing back and struck at Miris's face but was met with a sudden icy stare. To add to her surprise, her strike was halted by Miris's arm, encased in actual ice. Her makeshift dagger slid on its surface, her own momentum throwing her off-balance. She recovered just in time to dodge an ice shard followed almost immediately by a brutally swung stave. Miris's attacks came thick and fast. Ellana was successfully dodging the majority of the strikes but just barely. A grin formed slowly as she felt herself becoming overwhelmed by Miris's onslaught. Dodging both spells and the stave, she did not have much chance to keep an eye on her footing. She slipped on a forgotten icicle and Miris took her chance, sweeping at Ellana's legs with full force. She slammed to the ground on her already tender back and Miris placed the tip of her stick against her throat in triumph. The onlookers erupted in to cheers.

"That's what I needed to see!" Ellana cried through heavy breath. "Fucking…brilliant…!"

Miris removed her makeshift weapon and offered her a hand.

"Welcome to the team, Miris," Ellana breathed, gratefully accepting the outstretched hand.

* * *

A couple of days had passed since Ellana had accepted Miris into their family. She had tried to use her time wisely. Any hours after dusk she kept reserved for Solas but she had spent the rest with her teammates researching the Namahris clan and their Keeper as much as they could. She wanted to know everything before they departed. They were due to leave tomorrow morning as soon as the sun rose. They had a bit of a walk before they would reach the clan's current location but beyond that, she hoped they could keep the travelling to a minimum. The idea of negotiating already made her nervous enough without anything else on top of it.

She was almost satisfied with her research and with only an hour or two left before the sun would set, she intended to stop soon. She had read many of the reports multiple times but she wanted to be certain she had a good understanding of the woman before they met. From what she had read, she certainly was an eccentric.

Once they finally finished up, Ellana made her way to the tower. She had gotten so used to the routine of visiting Solas that she did not think twice about making her way straight through the rooms. It was not until she reached the balcony that she found him, already fast asleep in one of the chairs. Ellana had noticed that he had been sleeping a lot more than usual lately. She presumed he was searching the Fade for some lost piece of knowledge but, worried it was not her place, she never actually asked his reasons. She sat down in the chair next to his watching him with fervour. The fact that he could sleep soundly just about anywhere had always made her jealous. She tended to need a bed; she had to be truly exhausted or drunk to sleep well in anything less.

He stirred and Ellana could do little but smile as he awoke.

"I really wish you would not insist on watching me sleep," he groaned once he noticed her.

Her grin widened. "No way is that going to happen. It's just too adorable." She giggled as he rolled his eyes. "Besides, you can sleep unwatched all you want while I'm away."

"That reminds me, I have something for you." He got up and left her for a moment; appearing again with a wooden box that he handed to her. "A gift for your travels."

She stared up at him, surprise evident across her features before gazing down at the box questioningly.

"A gift?" she repeated.

He sat back down with a groan. "Yes. A gift you should open."

She paused for a moment before she did as she was bid. Nestled within folds of fabric, she found two of the most beautifully crafted daggers she had ever laid eyes on. Both were identical in structure, as was Ellana's preference. A large blade at the top gave way to a typically elven styled grip before another smaller blade that protruded from the base. She ran a hand carefully along the blade of the dagger closest to her and down to the grip – black like obsidian with pale silver accents. She switched her attention in turn to the further– bearing the same colour scheme but reversed.

"I know you had to leave your old favourites behind when you left Skyhold… I thought it only fitting you had proper replacements," Solas remarked, eagerly watching her reaction. "The ebony one is enchanted with fire; the silver - with lightening. A firestorm seemed an appropriate fit for you, vhenan."

Unable to stop touching them, Ellana desperately tried to find the words to show her appreciation. She had never been given a gift like this before. In spite of herself, she could feel tears welling in her eyes.

"They're beautiful!" she exclaimed, launching herself at him.

Likely having the wind knocked out of him, Solas took a moment to recover before managing to say, "I'm glad you like them."

She kissed him deeply but unable to resist for long, she picked her new toys back up again and sat cradled in his lap studying every detail. He smiled down on her, hand stroking her hair as he watched her enjoyment.

"I wish…" he started, stroking hand slowing. She gazed up at him questioningly. "I wish you never had to leave…"

" _Aww_ , you're going to miss me, aren't you?" she teased, reaching out to touch his cheek with an undeniable grin.

"Of course." He contemplated for a moment, still not certain where they stood on a certain issue. "But I could always visit you in your dreams?"

"That would be lovely." She suddenly halted her stroking fingers and her face darkened with concern. "Not as a wolf though..." She turned back to him. "I mean, I'll try pretty much anything once but that…that would be a bit much… I'm not even sure how…"

He placed a hand across her mouth and laughed, cradling her more closely. " _No_ , definitely _not_ as a wolf."

* * *

 **A/N - This chapter was re-written on 24/03/18**


	9. The Dalish Clan

**A/N - This chapter was re-written on 15/04/18 because I felt like it. Although, not really all that re-written tbh. Meh, I'll no doubt do it again at some point because I have zero self-control.  
**

* * *

Ellana did not share the same love for the Exalted Plains as she had for the Graves. As a rule, she was not a fan of grasslands - too open and desolate. Her people had been defeated in this place centuries ago and the air still seemed heavy with the weight of their loss. The presence of Var Bellanaris did nothing to help that feeling. The ancient elven burial ground was full of her people's fallen, old and new, and she could not help but feel a sense of melancholy in its shadow. The team was headed to a largely torn down ruin on the edge of the Enavuris River. Reports suggested the Namahris clan had been camped there for the last couple of days and Ellana hoped, if they hurried, they could still find them there.

"If this Keeper already knows you're coming then why do we have to rush?" Lis asked through heavy breath. "Surely they'll wait?"

Miris almost rolled her eyes. "Don't be a fool. She knows nothing."

"I dunno, it's pretty compelling stuff!" Lis clapped back.

"There are a hundred other ways she could have known what she knew. Compelling doesn't mean true," Miris drawled, still getting used to Lis's blind optimism.

Ellana did not see any value in joining the argument. They would know more when they reached the clan but even then, she doubted they would ever get a clear answer. These sorts of subjects were so often founded on belief rather than fact and thus, could not be disproven or dissuaded by logic. Belief was its own entity that some needed to make sense of the world. Arguing about it was a waste of breath.

They proceeded across the plains and once the conversation moved on to a lighter topic, Ellana joined in happily. The group was getting along better than she could have hoped. Miris could have an icy disposition at times but she still managed to give her contribution to the discussions, most of all when Shivra was involved. The two seemed to play well off one another. Shivra's loud, angry demeanour could find little grip on Miris's cold attitude and she seemed to enjoy the challenge. Miris appeared to enjoy just being in control; easy as that was with Shivra when she could not get a rise.

The ruins finally became visible over the crest of a hill. They still had a distance to go before they reached it but with the land now flat, they could see much further. Ellana was delighted when she caught a glimpse of an aravel in the distant ruin; they were not too late. As she eyed the camp, she thought they must surely be watching them too. Her suspicions were confirmed when the distant shadows of three figures left the ruin and made a beeline across the plain. The group was led by a larger elf that appeared to have a broadsword at his side. A smaller, male elf came next - clearly a hunter from what Ellana could see. Following behind was a very slight, female elf. She looked no more than a child but judging by the bow she was brandishing, she must have proved herself worthy of adulthood.

When they finally met, the warrior elf spoke first, "Andaran atish'an, sisters. What business do you have with our clan?"

Ellana stepped forward, hiding her nerves beneath years of practice. "We have come to treat with your Keeper on behalf of Fen'Harel. I am Ellana of clan Lavellan… May I ask who you are?"

"I am Sorros, war chief to clan Namahris and dutiful protector of Keeper Mirwen," he replied proudly. "This is Gadis and this is Areina, both hunters within our clan. Are your companions agents of the Dread Wolf as well? It is rare for him to send such a large band…you can understand our concern…"

"Yes, I apologise for any distress our numbers may have caused but my friends and I come as a group…a group that will not be separated. I hope you can accommodate that?" Ellana paused, hoping for an answer. When she received none she filled the silence, "This is Shivra, Miris and Lisette. While it is not essential they treat with your Keeper, I must insist that they accompany me to your clan. Fen'Harel would be most displeased to find out any of his agents were turned away…"

"We do not wish to attract his ire," the large elf interrupted with noted unease. "It will be as you wish. But…know that my foremost concern is protecting our Keeper and if you or your companions were to…"

She cut him off, "You need not be concerned with that; we mean neither you nor your clan any harm. We just wish to talk."

"Very well," he replied, sceptical to the last. "Let us proceed."

As they walked the short distance to the Dalish camp, Ellana took a closer look at their escorts. The hunter had a nervous demeanour and appeared to be trying his best to avoid looking at any of them. He would rather be anywhere else but here and Ellana could not help but wonder why. She eventually brushed it off with simple explanations - the idea of Fen'Harel possibly scared him as it did with so many other Dalish elves. When she was a child, she had actually shared that sentiment. One of the older children used to say the Dread Wolf chased children in their dreams and she had been scared of falling asleep for weeks as a result. The thought was laughable now. When she thought to turn her gaze to the girl hunter, she was met with a quizzical stare. The girl turned quickly away, reddening. Ellana laughed quietly to herself.

Sorros left the troupe to speak with the Keeper the second they reached the camp. The hunter, Gadis, left as quickly as he could. The girl, however, made no moves to leave. She was staring at Ellana again, the same questioning look in her eyes.

"What's the Dread Wolf like?" she finally asked, her short brown hair shaking with excitement. "The others say he's just a massive talking wolf but isn't that strange?"

Ellana chuckled in spite of herself. "No! He's just a regular elf like you and me! Well…not _regular_ but…"

"That's a bit boring," the girl stated abruptly. Ellana could see disappointment flood her green eyes. "Why is everyone so scared of him then?"

Ellana laughed again, "Look, Areina is it?" The girl nodded, so keen her hair flailed about her face. "You don't need to look monstrous to be capable of doing frightening things. Surely, you have experienced this?"

"I guess…" she eventually replied, still sounding dejected. "Humans don't look terrible but they can be…"

"Exactly! Trust me though, he isn't really frightening." Ellana reached out a hand to her shoulder - an attempt at reassurance along with her words. "The stories just paint him in a very negative light. If you ever get to meet him, you'll see that he isn't the monster they say he is. He's…quite nice…actually…"

The girl sighed. "I _guess_ that's a good thing but I was kind of hoping he was an actual wolf. I like wolves…"

Ellana felt a sense of endearment rise inside of her but before she could reply, another voice interrupted.

"Ari, stop talking nonsense and get back to work!"

The speaker was a tall red haired elf. She approached with an air of superiority, her staff clicking on the ground as she walked. Reports suggested the Keeper was quite aged but this elf was young beneath her dark green Vallaslin. Areina was gone before Ellana turned back.

"I apologise for Areina; she is a skilled hunter but can be a complete fool," the elf remarked before letting out a long sigh. "Hopefully that will improve with age but sadly…we are forced to endure her idiocies for now."

Ellana already disliked this woman. She had found Ari's comments quite charming, if somewhat naive, and considered this new elf's views exceedingly uncalled for. She was about to speak up when the elf interrupted again.

"I am Firanni, First to Keeper Mirwen. If you would follow me, I will take you to her. Although I ask that your friends remain here; the Keeper wishes to speak with you alone."

Ellana reassured her friends and left them in the camp.

Quiet dominated as she followed until her fire-haired lead chose to break it, "So you're of clan Lavellan?" Ellana could hear a unwelcome note of disdain in her tone. "Fen'Harel has sent us fellow Dalish before but never from such a…" She paused, seeming to choose her next words carefully. "…human-loving clan. It's an odd choice given his desire to restore our people above the humans."

"Our 'human-loving' ways have nothing to do with it," Ellana replied bitterly. "He chose me for me, not because of my heritage."

"Very well, hopefully we can all see past it. Despite his reputation, your leader has a poor record of getting what he wants here so I hope you have prepared yourself for disappointment," she replied, laughing mockingly. "Maybe you'll be the one to prove yourself but that remains to be seen."

It was taking all of Ellana's effort to keep her composure. She would of like nothing more than to punch this elf in the face and walk away.

Resisting the urge, she uttered, "You'd be surprised what I can do."

* * *

By the time they reached the Keeper, Ellana was nearing her limit. She wondered at one point if Firanni was just testing her but given the way she had spoken to Areina, it seemed unlikely. She worried if the Keeper would be just as bad. If that was the case then Solas really had sent the wrong person.

The Keeper was seated on the remains of a stone column looking pensively at the ground. She wore none of the superiority that Firanni flaunted. She looked like a typical old elven woman; grey hair braided and turned up in a bun. If she did not know better, Ellana would never have imagined she held such an important role. As the Keeper looked up, a knowing smile broke across her face. Ellana stopped a distance away, preparing to formally introduce herself.

"The Wolf hunts alone no longer, I see," The Keeper uttered, the smile she wore widening across her mouth. "Come closer child, sit with me. There is no need to stand on ceremony here."

Ellana moved closer and sat on one of the many pieces of ruined column that littered the ground around Keeper Mirwen. Up close, she could see the old woman's blue eyes were kind and twinkled with aged wisdom. She gazed as if she knew Ellana, as if she had never been more relieved to see someone. In spite of a resounding certainty that she had never met this woman in her life, Ellana still found herself searching her memory, trying to find some explanation. Firanni moved to sit as well but was quickly stopped by the Keeper.

"Firanni, leave us. I would have this discussion alone."

The girl tried a fruitless challenge, "But Keeper Mirwen I…"

Mirwen firmly cut her off, "Do not argue with me, child; I am in no mood. Leave us."

Firanni relented; leaving Ellana alone with the Keeper with adamantly portrayed reluctance. She found it difficult to hide her relief at the departure of the rude elf.

Perhaps sensing this, Mirwen said, "I do hope my First did not offend you in any way. She lacks a certain tact that will come with wisdom." She sighed. "If only time would move at a greater pace…"

"There is no need to apologise. I am more than capable of handling a few rude comments," Ellana replied, not wanting to minimise what she had endured.

The old woman sighed again. "While I am certain that is true, such actions should be beneath us and are worthy of regret."

They sat in silence for a brief moment. Ellana spoke first, trying to move the discussion on to business.

"I have come to…"

Mirwen cut her off before she could finish her introduction, "I know why you are here and Sorros has already told me who you are. The Dread Wolf has no doubt already told you who I am; so let us skip the introductions."

Ellana nodded in reply, taken aback by the Keeper's directness.

"Good. Now tell me, do you know why he chose you?" Mirwen asked, eyes twinkling in a slightly suspect way.

Ellana's first thought was that the question was not so simple. "To come here?" She shook her head slightly, overwhelmed for a moment. This was not how she had seen this conversation going. "Yes. You asked for me…saw me in a vision…"

"Not a vision, child, a dream…many dreams in fact," Mirwen added.

"If you already knew who I was then why didn't you just ask for me by name? Why take such a cryptic approach?" This fact had confused Ellana during her research; saying exactly whom she wanted would certainly have sped up the whole process.

Mirwen chuckled before responding, "I did not know who you were until you walked in to my camp. The dreams I have _are_ cryptic, by their very nature and…unlike your wolf…I have no control over what the Fade choses to show me." She paused, having difficulty explaining her experiences. "All I had was the details…never the full person. Besides, what I see is only one of many possibilities. There was always a chance you would never make your way back to him and thus, we would never meet."

"If you only saw some details then how do you know I am the one from your dreams?" Ellana asked, still puzzled.

"I knew you as soon as I saw you. Your actions thus far have done little to dissuade that feeling." She smiled, certainty written in her expression. "You stand beside him unlike any other, do you not? He faltered in your presence; tearing at himself with doubt still. You stand as equals. I am sure you are the one I've been waiting for."

Ellana said nothing. She could not help but be reminded of how her spirit friend Cole used to speak - both confusing and truthful at the same time. The thought made her miss him dearly. She had always valued him despite his odd ways.

Wishing to change the subject, Ellana finally piped up, "As you already know, Fen'Harel has asked me to extend an invitation to your clan to join our ranks. He's offering…"

Mirwen cut her off yet again, waving a hand dismissively, "Yes, I am aware of the terms. None of that mattered until you arrived…" She paused, looking wistful. "But, now is not the time. Take the night to walk amongst my people and we will resume this once the sun rises. Return to your people, they have no doubt missed your presence."

Ellana considered arguing but thought better of it. She got up to leave, feeling dejected. She had hoped this would be dealt with quickly and they could avoid spending too much time in the company of the Dalish. It had been a foolish wish, the Dalish were not known for their haste in matters such as these.

"Before you go, I have one question," Mirwen said.

Ellana stopped and turned back to her, hoping it would not be too probing.

"I have seen much…so many eventualities. Even in those where you stand united, you stand with different posture. In this, the only certain instance, do you doubt as he does?" the Keeper finally asked.

It took a moment for Ellana to fully understand what the Keeper was actually asking. She shook her head, more a gesture of discomfort than an answer but still the old woman waited. Ellana sighed.

"No. I do not carry the same burden as he does, I can understand but no…I do not share his doubts."

She left quickly, giving no chance of a reply. As she walked away, the Keeper sat on the ruined column; a satisfied relief spread across her face.

* * *

Ellana returned to the heart of the Dalish camp and found her friends. They had likely tried to keep their distance from the other elves but some of the Dalish had ignored their attempts. Most notable was Areina who appeared to be badgering Lis with questions when Ellana reached them.

"It's really not that interesting!" Lis was saying, evidently growing tired. "We just go out and do what we're told! I mean, _yeah_ it can be fun; I get to spend all my time with my friends so it isn't serious _all_ the time but it's not exactly a life I'd recommend."

"But it sounds wonderful! You get to go wherever you want; have adventures! That's what I wish I could do!" Areina replied excitedly.

Lis let out an exasperated sigh. She was about to respond when Mirwen's appearance interrupted her. Silence spread through the camp before she spoke.

"These four elven maidens will be our guests for the evening," she called out, gesturing towards Ellana and her coterie. "Tonight will be a celebration of their arrival as would be fitting for any of our brethren!"

With little more provocation, the Dalish elves erupted in to action. Some were cooking and others brought forth musical instruments or casks of wine. Those around them bustled Ellana and her friends to their feet. She had taken part in many celebrations like this in her youth. With so few chances to celebrate, it was not a surprise that the Dalish took any chance to let go. This party was no different. The night erupted in to song, dancing and jubilation. Ellana took the few opportunities she could to fill her friends in on the details of her meeting with the Keeper. Miris and Lis continued to argue about Mirwen's so called 'sight'.

"So she sees images in the Fade. That makes more sense, doesn't it?" Lis mused.

"It's more believable, I guess but it just begs more questions. Like, _why_ does she see them and _who_ is showing them to her? Could be a demon messing with her for all we know. Still doesn't sound trustworthy," Miris added.

Ellana kept out of the discussions. She wanted to forgo judgement until she had spoken to Solas about it; if anyone could make sense of it all, it was him. Not that she thought he would be open to the idea; he never seemed very willing to accept anything he had not seen for himself. For someone so intelligent, it always surprised her how incapable he was of stepping outside his own experience. He had shown her that with his views on modern elves. He was not prepared to see them as anything other than his own narrow perception, at least until she came along and shattered that perception.

Ellana was more reserved than usual, despite the joyful atmosphere. Areina had followed the group around for much of the night. She turned out to be much sharper than Ellana had initially thought. She knew exactly why they were there - a fact that many of the other Dalish did not seem privy to, and she seemed acutely aware of what was likely to come of their arrival. Her thirst for knowledge never seemed to let up; asking constant questions about their lives and home. Ellana enjoyed her eagerness. It reminded her of a young version of herself; always questioning, even when it was not entirely appropriate. It saddened her to think that such a pure enthusiasm for life and its mysteries seldom lasted through age. The world is rarely kind to those who choose to wonder.

Ellana retired earlier than her friends. She found the atmosphere difficult to enjoy with tomorrows negotiations looming ever closer. She wanted the peace of sleep and to hopefully see Solas once again in her dreams. She needed his comfort and his advice. She slipped away to the tent they had been given for the night. The only person who seemed to notice her leaving was Mirwen; catching her eye from across the camp, eyes twinkling knowingly.

* * *

 _Ellana leaned on the wooden war room table, the weight of the world crashing down on her shoulders. Her fear was bubbling too close to the surface and she felt as though she were about to burst. The others had left but Cassandra remained, watching her intently._

 _"I don't think I can do this," Ellana finally said. "It's too much and what if I fail? Then all of this will have been for nothing! They make it sound so simple but it isn't! I can't defeat him! He's so powerful and I…I am nothing! I'm just some elf! I…"_

 _Cassandra grabbed her by the shoulders, turning her so they were facing one another._

 _"You are not nothing." She looked so sure, so confident. "I believe you can do this, we all do." She paused, staring in to Ellana's downturned eyes. "Since we met, you have done things I thought were impossible. You are stronger than you know. I guarantee you; you will prove even yourself wrong once this is done. You may but know that none of us doubt you can defeat Corypheus."_

 _Ellana found it difficult to believe her words but when she looked up in to her eyes, the certainty she saw in them did something to dull her anxiety._

 _"But what if I can't! What if I'm not strong enough?" Ellana shouted, eyes firmly on the floor._

 _The reply she had heard so many times in her memory never came. Ellana looked up, confused, but Cassandra was gone. She looked around the room, unable to process this sudden departure from the dream she had lived so many times before._

 _"Cassandra?" she called out fruitlessly._

 _The quiet thrum of activity from outside had also gone, replaced by complete silence. Ellana stood unable to act; lost in complete and utter confusion. The door opened behind her._

"Ellana."

Solas's voice tore her from her confusion. It took a moment for the fog across her consciousness to gradually lift but her mind recovered and she was finally able to understand where she was and what had happened.

"Solas, you came!" she cried, her bewilderment long forgotten.

She walked briskly toward him and pulled him in to an embrace.

"I said I would, did I not?" he remarked, embracing her with equal fervour. "How goes your journey?"

She pulled away slightly to look up at him with an annoyed expression, "Slowly…much too slowly for my liking." Ellana rolled her eyes. "She wants to wait until tomorrow before we talk and she's too damn cryptic to really get a read on. It's been…trying…"

He chuckled lightly. "What was your assessment of her?"

"She's…strange." Ellana's brow furrowed. "She knows a lot more than she rightly should…but it's difficult to gauge. She skirts around…suggests things like she knows what she's talking about. It's all annoyingly vague."

"Did she explain her alleged 'visions' at all?" he asked, poorly concealing the disdain in his words.

"She said they're dreams…images that she sees in the Fade."

A deep frown had formed across Solas's brow as he leaned against the table.

"She said they're often unclear and she's only able to decipher some details," Ellana continued, rather enjoying watching Solas think. "She said she doesn't see one future but rather…many possibilities so she's never sure which will actually come to pass…"

"Well that is convenient," he interjected; disdain still dripping in his tone. "If she is ever wrong she can just claim she chose the wrong image." He sighed. "Although…I suppose…it could make sense. Time is not thought to be a straight line; rather a route with many divergent tracks, any one action skewing it toward a different future. It would make sense to view it as a collection of possible results that depend entirely on what action occurs."

While some of what Solas said went over Ellana's head, she did think he was right on both accounts. It could be a possibility but it could just as easily be a convenient, well thought out lie. She had seen nothing to convince her of either.

"What is more concerning is the origin of such a thing, if it is indeed true," he mused. "One can rarely take what they see in the Fade as hard fact. Those that do hold truth tend to be memories and those memories do not originate from the Fade. They are brought to bear by people and no person has memories of the future…that's obviously not possible. So _where_ would such a thing come from?"

"Maybe something is creating them? A demon perhaps?" Ellana asked, eager to gain more of his perspective.

"That is a possibility, although it does little to explain the reasoning." He shook his head and sighed. "We would do well not to trust in it. Hopefully I will know more once I have spoken with her myself but for now…I would avoid the issue…"

Ellana laughed. "Easier said than done."

"That aside, is all well?" he asked, the frown finally gone from his face. "It must be somewhat jarring to be immersed in clan life after so long."

"It's not as bad as I thought it would be, actually. They've generally been really welcoming which is…" She laughed. "… _very_ out of character for a Dalish clan. They had a feast for us and everything, which was a nice gesture. They seem so apart from the other clans I've experienced…but I suppose that's not surprising with Mirwen leading them."

"Very true," he added, eyes wandering beneath her notice.

"I'd rather we had just got the negotiations out the way but that was never going to happen. I'd so much rather be home. How are things? Have you…"

She stopped talking abruptly as she noticed he was looking much too amused with himself. She stared at him in confusion, his smirk not diminished with her gaze. He raised an eyebrow. She looked down and gasped, finally realising she was standing completely nude.

"Well, that's very mature!" she shouted, punching him in the shoulder.

"Hey!" He grabbed her arms, holding her off – feigning hurt. "This is _your_ dream! I cannot be held responsible for what happens!"

She shook loose of his hands. "You're right. It is _my_ dream and in _my_ dream, I get to do whatever _I_ want," she replied, forcing him back on the table.

He shook his head vainly as she mounted him. "That is definitely not how dreams work."

"Oh shut up."

* * *

Ellana was awoken by the sounds of her friends giggling.

"Sweet dreams?" Shivra asked, stifling a laugh. "Certainly sounded like it!"

Her friends erupted in to giggles.

"Oh, piss off!" Ellana cried as her cheeks reddened not in anger.

She left the tent quickly and Miris followed her out.

"Don't you start," Ellana hissed when Miris caught up to her.

The ice blonde elf smiled only slightly. "I shall do no such thing. I wondered if you would be interested in sparring? Clear your head before the Keeper calls on you."

Ellana released a long sigh, part relief and part annoyance. "That is an excellent idea."

Practicing with Miris had become a regular occurrence. Both saw it as a useful way to build on their skills as well as a genuinely enjoyable activity. Miris no longer held back in their fights so it was always a challenge, even for Ellana. On this day, it made for a welcome release and the surrounding Dalish elves seemed to enjoy the display just as much as the combatants.

The time came much too soon where Sorros appeared and beckoned Ellana away. She left her friends at camp and proceeded with him to the place she had met with the Keeper before. She was disappointed to see Mirwen was not alone. Firanni sat next to her and another elf she did not recognise sat nearby. Sorros took his place on the rocks as well.

"Sit, child." Mirwen said, gesturing towards a stone opposite them.

Ellana sat down, nerves tugging at her. She had hoped she would only need to contend with Mirwen; not this crowd. Mirwen spoke first.

"You and I have already met and I believe you already know Firanni and our warleader - Sorros, but this is Taelen." She rose a hand to the elf at the end of the row. "He presides over the day-to-day running of our clan and organises our people…everything I am unable to manage."

"It is a pleasure to meet you," Ellana replied, worry truncating the legitimacy of her words. "I am Ellana of clan Lavellan, now agent to Fen'Harel…"

"Servant to the Bringer of Nightmares… We have met your kind before," Sorros interjected angrily.

Mirwen waved a hand and he became grudgingly silent.

"What you ask of us will affect our entire clan and so this is not a decision I feel I can make without consulting my peers," Mirwen continued. "Tell us, what exactly does the Dread Wolf want with our people?"

Ellana saw no point in trying to pull the wool over their eyes. "Nothing. It's not your people he needs; it's your knowledge, Keeper." She kept her eyes fixed to Mirwen. She could not explain it justly but she found comfort in the Keeper's gaze. "Nonetheless…I understand that you would never leave your clan so they must be taken in to account. Fen'Harel offers to take in your people, along with yourself…and will ensure they are kept in safety and comfort…"

"And for this, I presume our people would be made to work for him?" Sorros interjected, still noticeably sceptical and quite abruptly aggressive with it.

"No." Ellana took a long steadying breath before she went on, "If any of your people chose to work with us then that would be welcomed but no one will be _forced_ , regardless of their ability." She turned back to the Keeper. "All that we ask is that Keeper Mirwen assists us with her vast knowledge. If that is agreeable to you then all your people, including the elderly and young alike, will be given a home and kept safe in a world that only grows more dangerous for our kind."

Ellana waited nervously for someone to comment. Mirwen's eyes were twinkling again as she looked around at her peers.

"It sounds too good to be true," Firanni finally said.

"What does it matter?!" Sorros added angrily. "If it _is_ the Dread Wolf like she says it is or even if it's just some idiot claiming to be him then we can't possibly trust him!"

"But she is right," the new elf added with a tired exhale. "You've seen it for yourselves; the humans tolerate our kind less and less. How much longer can we wander this land without significant bloodshed? Especially if these people…" He gestured towards Ellana. "…continue muddying the waters. We could be days away from an attack…wiped out at any moment."

"We don't even know that she's telling the truth! How can we trust they won't simply take the Keeper and do away with us as soon as we agree?!" Sorros practically shouted. He aimed his ire directly at Mirwen. "Is it not your entitlement to protect us from Fen'Harel?! And yet, here we sit, negotiating with one of his lackeys!"

"Enough," Mirwen interrupted firmly. "I will not allow little more than children's stories to inform this decision. All because something is considered legend or tradition does not make it truth. We are a clan that strives not to follow our ancestors blindly; we question and we learn our own path. My foremost concern is protecting our people and that does not include running away from an opportunity because of some foolish taboo."

A stunned silence passed across the group. Examining each one of their faces, Ellana's eyes fell last on Mirwen. Ever so slightly, she nodded.

Ellana took her opportunity, "Look, I understand your quandary. Years ago, I was just as you are now…I'd heard the stories, felt the fear they bring and I believed it all blindly. But now I know…I was…wrong. Accepting that was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and it made me question everything I've ever known. All I want now is to ensure our people find their rightful place in the world. That is my only motive…and I can assure you that I would not be here if I thought he meant your people any harm…"

"She speaks the truth," Mirwen interjected with a slight smile. "If the Dread Wolf wished to take me and do away with our clan then he would have done so, would he not? Why waste all this time with pageantry? He may be regarded as a trickster but he does nothing without purpose."

Another pause - questioning mutterings and thoughtful silence.

"You say we would be provided with a home?" Firanni asked, turned to Ellana. "Where would such a place be?"

"There is a place beyond a great mirror, a place I too call home. Your people would live out your days there. Many of Fen'Harel's other followers reside there, you would be in good company and well protected," Ellana replied, confident at last. She turned to the elf on the end, "You're right, this world is indeed dangerous and I fear it is only going to get worse for our people. This could be your only chance to save your own from that precipice."

Muttering erupted from the group. Mirwen smiled broadly at her.

"Thoughts?" the Keeper asked.

"It sounds ideal. The clan thrives in exchange for some knowledge," Firanni said first.

"Provided the Dread Wolf keeps his end of the bargain, it sounds like our best option going forward. This girl certainly seems trustworthy enough," the new elf added.

"If any of it is true then it would help keep our people safe," Sorros said grudgingly. "But none of this is guaranteed and it would mean making ourselves vulnerable!"

"Nothing in life is ever guaranteed, Sorros. Without the unknown there would be no wonder," Mirwen replied, smile not diminished. "Am I to take these comments as an overall agreement?"

They all replied affirmatively, even Sorros eventually agreed in his bitter way.

"Excellent, then our business is concluded. You may all return to your stations," Mirwen said, bringing an end to discussions.

Ellana stood stunned as the group filed out. When they had all left, she turned to Mirwen.

"That's it? It's done?" she asked, disbelieving – shocked.

The Keeper touched a gentle hand to her shoulder. "Yes, child. You did well; your wolf will be most pleased. I will announce it to the clan shortly and we will leave in the morning."

"You don't seem surprised…" Ellana could not stop herself from saying.

"I am not. I chose you for a reason, my child. You never failed to convince them, even with significant resistance. Where others would gladly throw us to the wayside, I trust you will see us through this. They must have seen that in you too."

Mirwen led her away from the ruins and towards the camp. As they walked, Ellana could not help but think on what she had said. Ellana was certain Solas genuinely meant the clan no harm; seeing this transaction simply as a fair trade for the knowledge he would gain but she knew how these things so often went. It is so easy to forget those you owe when you no longer need them, especially when you have to deal with as many people as he did. But Ellana knew in her heart that she would never allow these people to become forgotten, even after all was said and done. She felt like, while time remained, she at least owed them that much.

* * *

Ellana arose early the next morning not wanting to be caught out by her friends again. They had spent the day before helping the elves prepare for their imminent journey. The clan had taken the news well, many excited by the prospect of a new and unusually permanent home. Most of her band helped the Dalish around the camp, packing up their belongings and other such menial tasks. Shivra and Ellana opted to help out the hunters who were gathering supplies for the road. Areina acted as their guide for much of the day. She turned out to be a very proficient hunter and an even better tracker. Her level of skill did a lot to explain how she had passed through her apprenticeship at such a young age. Areina was also very skilled with her bow, although not as skilled as Shivra; a fact the city elf happily demonstrated at any opportunity. Her childlike nature only showed whenever they made a kill. She apologised profusely to each one, thanking it for its sacrifice. She seemed at home in nature, a quality Ellana could definitely relate to.

Ellana was up and dressed long before many of the others. The camp was quiet and Ellana hoped she would have enough time to go for a peaceful walk before they needed to leave. Her hopes were dashed when Mirwen beckoned her into the Keeper's tent. When she entered, Sorros was standing inside too.

"There is something unfortunate we must discuss," Mirwen said.

"What?" Ellana asked, unable to hide her worry. She had hoped her work here was done. "What's going on?"

"I'm afraid we have reason to believe there is a spy in our midst," Mirwen said mournfully. She stood wringing her hands for a few moments before a full explanation was offered, "A few months ago one of our hunters returned from the forest in a complete state. Since that time he has been seen acting suspiciously – leaving the clan at unusual times; going places he has no business and he has even been seen releasing ravens…an activity, I'm sure you know, no hunter would tend to be involved in." She paused, sighing. "We had one of our other hunters follow him last night and they found him trying to send this…"

She handed Ellana a note. Opening it hastily, her eyes fell on a scrawled statement.

 _"They sent another agent, a group. The leader claimed to be called Ellana Lavellan and fits some of the description you gave me. We're going to join with the rest of Fen'Harel's agents in the morning. I will try and send more information once we arrive. Please don't call on me again."_

Ellana had so many questions she could not think which one to start with.

"Bring him in Sorros," Mirwen said quietly.

Sorros left the tent and returned to Ellana's surprise, with Gadis, the hunter who she had met alongside Areina on the first day.

"You? That's why you were so scared of me?" Ellana queried with wide eyes.

The nervous man nodded. "When you said your name, I knew who you were and I knew I'd have to tell them! I didn't want to but I had to!"

"Who is 'them'? Who do you work for?" Ellana asked, dreading the answer.

"The Inquisition! They jumped me when I was out on a hunt…threatened me! Said I had to tell them things or they would come back! They wouldn't let me go!"

She grabbed him, fear overtaking her senses. "Is this all you sent?! Did you tell them?!"

"No! That's the only letter I sent!" he cried.

She gasped in relief and turned to Mirwen.

"What are you going to do with him?"

Mirwen shook her head. "That is your decision. You are the one who has been wronged here. Although his actions do not affect us directly, what he has done can be seen as a betrayal of his clan and deserving of punishment. He has proven himself untrustworthy. Exile would be the traditional choice but we will accept whatever punishment you may choose, given the circumstances."

"No! No, please! Don't kill me! I didn't want to do it…they…they made me!" the hunter cried.

Ellana was completely torn and the hunter's cries for mercy did little to help her. The logical choice would be to have the man put to death or imprisoned. With that, there would be no chance he could ever report back to his masters. However, she knew in her heart that she would find it difficult to live with that decision. She also could not quiet the thought that this was not just a courtesy on Mirwen's part but more a test to see what Ellana would choose. She doubted the old woman would approve if she chose to harm the man. She looked down at the floor, ignoring the hunters pleading screams. She was going to miss the veil of secrecy she had lived so long beneath but she could already feel a weight lifting from her shoulders.

"You cannot be trusted to continue with us," she said finally; the hunter quieting immediately as she spoke. "But I cannot in good conscience put you to death or keep you locked up…it is not our people's way."

The hunter breathed a sigh of relief.

"We Dalish swore never to submit to chains; something you accepted because of only fear and for this…you will be exiled from this clan immediately." She paused, thinking for a moment. "I would ask that you do not tell anyone of me but we both know that you will have little choice but to return to your masters' leash so tell them… Tell them I will be hunted no longer."

Sorros took the spy away, leaving Ellana feeling both a sense of impending doom and a sense of relief she had not felt in an age.

* * *

"So they'll know everything soon enough," Lis remarked as they trudged through the wilderness; entire Dalish clan in tow. "Are you okay with that?"

"No but it's a relief, I guess. They were the last people I was hiding from and when he reaches them, everyone will know what I am. I don't have to hide anymore," Ellana replied wistfully. "Although, they'll probably still try and hunt me down and with his information, they'll have more chance of succeeding. I'm not looking forward to that reunion!"

"Don't worry, we'll protect you! It is our job, after all!" Lis exclaimed.

"Fucking right we will," Shivra added.

Ellana nodded, smiling at their feeling until it faltered. "As long as Solas never finds out it will be fine. We can come up with a plan or something."

"Why wouldn't you want him to know? Surely he would just want to protect you too?" Lis enquired.

" _Yeah_ , too much!" Ellana exclaimed. "If he knew about this then he would never let me go anywhere. He'd be so intent on keeping me safe that I would be locked up in that tower forever!"

"Well, the tower is certainly a safe option, that's for sure," Miris mused from her side.

Ellana was about to reply when the sudden arrival of an eavesdropping Areina interrupted her.

"There's a tower?" she asked loudly, much too excited.

* * *

 **A/N - So if you're reading this, you may have noticed I am not using as much of the elven language as I probably should; especially in this chapter with the Dalish. Just thought I would explain my reasoning behind this. Yes I do use it, mostly when it naturally occurs to me while I'm writing but I definitely don't go out of my way to include it. My reasoning for this is threefold. Firstly from a reading perspective I think it's better to avoid using it randomly. Yes it could do something to help with immersion but it would also mean that those who are unfamiliar with it would have to constantly google phrases to work out what is going on and I don't want that. I had to do it myself during the game and it just pulled me out of the experience. Secondly, I am not a big fan of how it is used in the game in general. Just a personal preference but I don't like that sort of fractured use of language. It just seems so unnatural to me - I have never met anyone who randomly adds bits of a foreign language when their talking...well excluding Latin I suppose...but for example, I have yet to meet a French person who haphazardly says random French phrases when we're talking in English; unless it is, of course, relevant. Plus it just reminds me of how the dragons spoke in Skyrim and I really wasn't a fan of that; it felt so clunky. Lastly, I would much rather spend my time writing (or proofreading *sigh*) than researching and going back over each chapter and inserting random bits of elven where I can. It would take much more time than I would want for, what I consider to be, very little gain. I'd much rather spend the time I have furthering the actual story.  
**

 **I'm sorry if this bothers anyone but hopefully you can at least appreciate the reasoning behind it. BYE!**


	10. Home

The Dalish reacted with complete awe as they each stepped through the Eluvian and in to their new home. It amused Ellana greatly; she remembered having similar feelings the first time she set eyes on the place. Those feelings had long since passed and had been replaced by a feeling of warm familiarity and relief. Every time she stepped out on to the grass she had hope she would find some respite, wishing each time that it could be for longer.

A large welcoming party had formed as they reached the base of the hill. Solas stood at the forefront, looking pensive. Seeing him so calm, she couldn't help but feel a little envious. Nothing ever seemed to faze him; not even the approaching crowd who likely thought him a monster. His expression filled with warmth as he laid eyes on Ellana. The Dalish were muttering loudly amongst themselves but a silence drifted over them as Solas came forward to meet them.

"Andaran atish'an, brothers and sisters. Welcome to your new home. I am Fen'Harel," Solas's introduction drew more hushed whispers from the crowd of Dalish elves. "My associates here will take you to your new dwelling. Please make yourselves at home and don't hesitate to ask anything of my people," he continued, the elves behind him springing in to action. "I hope you all find peace in this place," he finished, walking over to Ellana and the Keeper. "Keeper Mirwen I presume?"

"Yes… Do I look different outside of my dreams?" she asked.

He ignored the question, saying instead, "It is good to finally have you here. I thought this day would never come."

"Yes, you did take your time didn't you?" she retorted.

"It matters little; you are here now," he replied. "Would you both walk with me? We have much to discuss."

He led them a short distance into the forest; away from the ears of the others.

"You know, you're much shorter than I imagined," the Keeper commented as they walked.

Ellana couldn't contain her amusement any longer; letting out a slight chuckle. She could tell he was getting irritated now.

When he finally stopped, the Keeper was trailing a short distance behind. It gave them a chance to exchange a few brief words before she reached them.

"Good work, Ellana. Although I fear I'm going to have my hands full," Solas said.

"You can bet on that," Ellana replied, chuckling.

"You two don't stop on my account," Mirwen remarked as she reached them. "If it would make you both more comfortable, I can turn away so you can properly greet one another," she continued, turning as promised.

"You told her about us?" Solas asked in a whisper.

"No! She sort of guessed…I didn't say anything," Ellana whispered back, sad to now be involved in Mirwen's prodding.

"See? Isn't that better? Young love is not something I would ever want to get in the way of," Mirwen remarked as she turned back. "Well, not young in your case Wolf; you're older than all of us."

"Indeed," Solas said with a sigh. "Moving on, I would ask what your expectations of this arrangement are."

"Expectations? As long as my people are kept well, I have none," Mirwen replied. "What I'm more interested in is what you want?" Her voice became rapid and difficult to follow. "It's the key isn't it? The key to the last mirror. The key to the place you once knew but ignored. The place where the white raven soars. You want the power within; hope it will be the power you need to release the sky. You think, hope, I know where to find the key, yes?"

"Do you?" he asked, a frown formed on his brow.

"No, not definitively. I have suspicions but I have never seen the thing myself. A process of elimination would likely lead to its location," Mirwen replied.

"What's 'the white raven'?" Ellana asked before the conversation could continue.

"A raven like any other but white," Mirwen replied matter-of-factly. "I have no idea what it represents, if that's what you mean? It could be an actual being or a more abstract concept, it's difficult to know for certain."

"Perhaps we should leave this discussion for today," Solas interjected. "You must both be weary from your travels and I'm certain your people could do with your presence, Keeper."

"As you wish," Mirwen replied, bowing before exiting.

"That was completely bizarre," Solas remarked, massaging his temples.

"I did warn you," Ellana replied jokingly.

* * *

"So what did you make of her?" Ellana asked.

The two had moved proceedings up to Solas's quarters, giving them a chance to behave naturally with one another.

"I don't know, to be honest with you," he replied, removing the heavier pieces of his armour with relief. "She speaks like someone who has been touched by the Fade but that could also just as easily be madness."

"You can't deny she seemed to know a lot; about both us and what you are looking for," Ellana replied. She paused, not knowing if she should ask more but her curiosity eventually won out. "She was right about what you wanted?"

"Yes, that is what I intended to ask her about in the first instance," he replied. He leapt on to the bed, landing with a satisfied sigh. "I am surprised she knew what the key is for; I didn't think anyone else knew that. For all intents and purposes, I thought I was the only one who even knew the temple existed. The Eluvian was locked in my time, it seems impossible that anyone could have been there since then. The place was so isolated I doubt anyone could find it accidentally."

Ellana climbed on to the bed beside him, nuzzling in.

"Why was it locked?" she asked.

"They used to say a great power resided in that temple, a power that took the lives of any who dared to tread its ground. Despite the rumours, there were still those that went and died for the sake of curiosity. It was closed to keep people away," he replied.

"So what was it? What was killing people?" she asked.

"I have no idea. I never went and the rumours were so old that they had been twisted beyond recognition," he said, shrugging.

"Weren't you curious? It must be ancient! Didn't you want to know what it was?" Ellana enquired with disbelief.

"I had other concerns. Besides, I had the power I needed. I wasn't about to go and risk my life to hoard more without reason," he replied.

Ellana hoped she would get to see this place, despite the threat of death. It sounded fascinating. Sadly she knew that they had a long road to walk before then. By the sounds of it, they would need Mirwen's help and the key before anything could happen.

The two talked long in to the night.

"I'm glad to be home," was the last thing Ellana said before drifting off to sleep in his arms.

* * *

Solas was roused by the sound of Ellana quietly singing. She often sang to herself when she was alone. He didn't mind, she was surprisingly good at it and the sound always brought him comfort. From the lack of light in the room he could tell that the sun must not have risen yet. Ellana was sitting by the window. She was singing a song he didn't recognise but, as his senses returned, he could hear it was full of sorrow. As he sat up, she stopped singing.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't wake you did I?" she asked in a worried tone.

He got up and sat beside her.

"Don't concern yourself, you know I enjoy your singing," he said with a smile.

She replied with only a brief smile before looking down at her hands. He could tell from her expression that something was troubling her.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yes. Actually... I had this dream…" she replied, unsure.

"You didn't see the future did you?" he asked jokingly.

"Of course not! she replied, shoving him lightly on the shoulder. "No, I… When I was a child, I remember one time we travelled close to the sea. My mother walked me up to the edge of these cliffs so I could see the ocean for the first time."

Solas smiled at the thought. He could only imagine how excited she must have been seeing the endless expanse of water for the first time.

"Every so often, I dream I am standing on the edge of those cliffs; looking out at the vast ocean. Normally, I just stand there watching the water but last night was different. Last night, I don't know why, but I…I jumped off the cliff and in to the ocean. I don't know why I would do that…" She trailed off, lost in thought.

"You remember your dreams?" he asked.

"Sometimes, I guess," she replied. "That's normal isn't it?"

"Mages retain consciousness in the Fade and so, retain memories of their dreams. As I understand it, the same cannot be said for those who lack magical talent," he remarked.

"What is that supposed to mean? I am definitely not a mage," she added.

"Nor did I say you were," he replied, sidestepping the threat of an argument. "Either way, it matters little; unless it is a topic you wish to explore, you can continue as you were."

Ellana didn't want to explore the idea, her life was already complicated enough. She thought he was reading far too much in to it. After all, she had never shown any magical talent at all. She was certain there must be another explanation. It did surprise her that he hadn't pushed the idea. She knew he would love nothing more than to share that world with her. Perhaps he rightly sensed her reluctance and thought better of pressing the issue.

"What was that song you were singing? I've never heard it before," he asked.

"My mother used to sing it. I don't know where it comes from," she replied. "She sang it a lot after my father died. He meant a greal deal to her and when he left us, it was like a piece of her was gone as well. I think singing it helped her deal with that and keep going for me…"

She stopped talking when she saw the look on Solas's face. She hadn't seen him look this miserable since they had reunited.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, laying her head on his shoulder. "I shouldn't talk about things like that."

"Do you miss her? Your mother, I mean," he said quickly, eager to change the subject.

"Yes. Sometimes I think about finding her, seeing her again but I think it would just be too difficult for us both," she replied. "Besides, that isn't my life anymore and I don't think I could ever go back to it. I wonder what she would think of me now, after so much has happened…"

"She probably wouldn't be too thrilled by your present company," he suggested.

"Oh, stop!" she exclaimed, taking his hand. "She'd love you once she got over the whole 'Dread Wolf' thing!" She laughed. "Maybe don't stand within arms' reach when I tell her that one; she can be a bit of a firecracker."

"Well there's a surprise! I had wondered where your temper came from!" he replied, chuckling.

Proving his point, she tried to dig her elbow in to his side but he avoided the blow. She fell against him and he kissed her intensely.

* * *

When she returned to camp, Ellana had been unable to find her friends. For a group of spies, they certainly weren't quiet; not here at least. She eventually found them in the forest by following the tell-tale sound of their laughter.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked.

"We were keeping an eye on the new recruits but we gave up," Shivra replied. "Can't be running around after that lot all the bloody day!"

"They're not making trouble are they?" Ellana asked, concerned.

"No, not yet at least," Lis responded.

"They're a bit mental," Shivra added.

Before Ellana could respond, Areina came bounding through a nearby bush.

"Speak of the devil…" Shivra sighed.

"This place is great!" Areina exclaimed excitedly. "All this forest but no humans! It's like a wonderland!" She ran over to a nearby stream, gliding a hand through its waters. "It's got everything! Pivvi showed me around and I met his family. He lives in a glade and it's so pretty!"

"Pivvi is a Halla by the way…yeah…let that sink in for a moment," Shivra said quietly as Areina continued ranting.

"Oh! Of course…" Ellana turned to Areina, hoping to bring her back to sense. "It is wonderful but it's not a playground you know?"

Areina looked offended but Ellana's words had stopped the ranting. Lis laughed.

"You can hardly talk! You were exactly the same when we got here!" she exclaimed.

Ellana shoved her in the shoulder. "Shut it! I was not!"

"Yeah you were! Maybe not so excitable," Lis gave Areina an apologetic look, not wanting to offend, "but you were still off exploring the woods whenever you could!"

"Oh! I could introduce you to Pivvi! Unless you've already met? Do you like Halla too?" Areina shrieked in delight.

"Great…" Ellana remarked under her breath. "Look, I'm sorry but we probably have work to do so maybe another time?"

"Work? Are you going somewhere?" Areina inquired. Her tone suddenly became more animated, "Can I come? Oh, I'd love to go with you! I've seen so little of the world and you get to go to all these places! Please let me come! I promise I'll be useful!"

"Look, kid…" Ellana tried to reply.

"I am not a kid!" Areina shouted, suddenly incensed. "I am an adult; I've proven that! Anything any of you can do I can do just as well! Even if I am a bit younger in age it doesn't mean I can't look after myself!"

Ellana tried to appease her, "Look…Ari, I'm sorry but you just aren't ready for…"

"I am ready! I'm not a fool! I know what you people do! I've heard people talking. I just want a chance to explore the world and I'm not going to get that by staying here! All I've known is my clan and I want to know so much more! Please!" Ari cried with a determined look in her eyes.

Ellana couldn't help but be reminded of a similar argument she had had with her mother. When Ellana was chosen to spy on the Chantry conclave, her mother had been against the idea; fearing for her safety. Ellana's determination had eventually convinced her. If her mother hadn't given her that chance then Ellana was certain she wouldn't be the woman she was today. The thought gave her pause.

"Come on, Ellana. Since when have we ever judged someone just by their age? At least give her a chance," Lis added.

Ellana sighed before asking, "What does your Keeper think of this idea?"

Areina looked suddenly sheepish, "I haven't actually mentioned it to her yet…" She paused before becoming incensed once again, "But we could tell her together! She'd let me, I know she would!"

"Well I'm not doing anything without her blessing," Ellana replied, relieved that she had an excuse to avoid the decision. "You'll need to speak with her before I can do anything."

"You'll come with me? Ask her too?" Areina asked, sheepish once more. "She trusts you. She'll listen to you!"

"Fine, if you insist," Ellana replied, sighing again.

Areina ran excitedly off towards the camp, turning back when Ellana did not follow.

"Well come on then! No time like the present!" the girl shouted back, her mousey brown hair bouncing about her shoulders as she ran.

* * *

Ellana had always liked the idea of taking another under her wing but an appropriate person had never presented themselves. The idea of passing something on to another only grew in appeal as she had gotten older, despite how fruitless it now seemed. She wasn't sure Ari was the ideal person to fill such a role but she saw a lot of herself in her. She couldn't help but wonder what this girl could become if given the right path. It certainly seemed true that she did not know much of the world beyond her clan but Ellana had been the exact same way before the Inquisition. She had never let that stop her. She also couldn't deny that despite her naivety, Areina was certainly capable and had the potential to grow in to an accomplished asset.

When they reached the Dalish camp, they found Mirwen mercifully alone in her tent. Areina had become more and more noticeably nervous as they had drawn nearer. As they entered the tent, she looked like she might faint. Ellana placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, hoping to steady her if she did fall.

"Ah, it's you my child. I had wondered when you would appear," Mirwen remarked cheerfully. "I just finished talking with your wolf. Complicated man, that one; uncomfortably restrained and sceptical to the last. It must be fascinating to see beneath the veil is it not?"

Ellana chose to ignore her probing, "How are your people settling in?"

"Well. Many of them have never experienced a settled life, let alone one in safety. The prospect this place represents gives them some hope of that life and has been met with much joy," Mirwen replied.

"I'm glad to hear they are happy," Ellana added, slightly relieved. "And yourself?"

"While it is still possible, I will gladly play my part to provide for my people," the keeper remarked. "But you did not come here to muse on the happiness of my people I see," she continued, nodding to Areina.

"No, I'm afraid I had another agenda," Ellana said. She paused, hoping Ari would jump in. When she said nothing, Ellana continued, "Areina has asked to join my group of agents but I will not consider it without her clan's blessing. To do so would be to overstep my bounds and I have no desire to anger you or your people."

The Keeper sighed and for a split second, Ellana saw her expression fill with anguish.

"Is this true, Areina? Is this your wish?" the Keeper asked.

"Yes. I want to see the world and I want to help them. Nothing would give me more joy, my Keeper," Ari replied, her voice determined.

"As neither of your parents are with us any longer, I suppose I am an appropriate person to make this decision," Mirwen mused. She paused and turned to Ellana. "You will care for her as one of your own? Keep her in safety as much as you are able?"

"Yes, we all will. As much as we are able," Ellana answered.

"And you are certain this is the path you choose, my child?" Mirwen asked Areina.

"Yes, I am certain this is what I want," Areina replied determinedly.

"Then you have my blessing, child," Mirwen said, walking over to Ari and taking her in an embrace. "Learn from them, let them guide you and see all that you can. Know that your family is always waiting with open arms."

Ellana left the tent quietly, leaving them to their moment. It reminded her so much of her mother that the pain was becoming too much. She had been unable to hear from her since she left the Inquisition, she wasn't even certain if she still lived. She knew Solas would have his best agents looking for her the second she asked but her current position held her back. She would love to at least know how she was but then the temptation to see her would be too great. It would be cruel to re-enter her life now. She would either have to leave again, reopening old wounds or expose her mother to her new life – neither one she could face.

Areina eventually emerged from the tent, her eyes wet with tears. Ellana met her, brushing away the threads of moisture from her cheeks.

"You're still certain this is what you want?" she asked gently.

Areina nodded, determination spread across her face once again.

"Good. Come on then, we should get to work," Ellana said, leading her back to their friends.

Mirwen watched them as they left, anguish flooding her being. She hoped she was wrong and even prayed to the false gods for deliverance but it had never helped. She feared the future now more than ever

* * *

 **A/N – That song Ellana is singing by the window, I always imagined it as 'All We Do' by Oh Wonder. Doesn't make a massive amount of sense in the context but that's just how I imagined it.**


	11. Not a Puppet

"Okay kid, let's see your skills! Hit all the targets!" Shivra shouted.

Areina stood ready, bow drawn. The group had set up a collection of random objects for her to hit, each one more difficult than the last.

Ellana hadn't intended to test Ari's skills. She doubted Areina would respond well to the tactic she had taken with Miris and furthermore, duelling with an archer was generally an exercise in futility. She couldn't think of a way to test her without pushing too far. The others had, however, risen to the challenge. Each one made up a little test for each of Ari's skills and they had cheerily wiled away the day planning and executing them. Ari easily completed Miris's tracking challenge, finding the marked Halla quickly. She had even befriended the animal, leading it back to the group triumphantly. Next she had shown true mastery of the shadows, sneaking up and stealing a ribbon from Lis without her knowledge. All that was left was Shivra's bow challenge.

Ari raised her bow, hitting each target with speed and accuracy. With each strike, the group cheered jubilantly. The last target was particularly difficult. Tiny and placed off-centre between two branches, Ellana thought it was a particularly cruel placement on Shivra's part. Ari raised her bow again, drew and loosed an arrow. Much to the disappointment of them all, the arrow thudded in to one of the branches. Ari looked crestfallen.

"Don't worry, kid!" Shivra exclaimed. "That one's a real bitch."

She picked up her bow and took Ari's place, aimed and loosed her own arrow. It ricocheted off the opposite branch slightly and hit the target.

"You've got to plan for the ricochet; can't be done without that, kiddo," she said.

"That was amazing! Show me how you did it again?" Ari excitedly asked.

Leaving Shivra to show off, Lis came to sit with Ellana.

"So, what are you thinking?" she asked.

"She may be young but it looks like she's more than proven herself," Ellana replied.

"She'll do just fine," Lis added. "You hear that, kid? Sounds like you're one of us now!" Lis shouted to Ari.

Ariena shrieked with such joy that Shivra recoiled in fright. As the Dalish girl danced around happily, Shivra came over to sit with her friends.

"So, she's in! We're becoming a real rag-tag bunch aren't we?" Shivra said, laughing. "It's going to be hilarious seeing her deal with an Alienage, especially the one in Denerim!"

"An Alienage? Denerim? What are you talking about?" Ellana asked in complete confusion.

"Our next job? The whole kidnap the guy in the Alienage thing?" Shivra continued, equally confused. The thought suddenly dawned on her, "Oh, you didn't know… He didn't tell you about it? Shit…"

"No, he obviously didn't," Ellana answered angrily. "What are you talking about and how do you know this but I don't?!"

"I went to see Varden and he told me about it. Well, more warned me about it…"

"Is this a regular thing; going behind my back and fishing for information?!" Ellana questioned accusingly.

"Well, no… I wasn't trying to get any information," Shivra replied, sounding hurt. "Remember, I joined this set-up a long time ago; Varden and I have been…friends…for years. I'm not trying to one-up you or anything. I was just talking to a friend who happened to mention it. You don't need to be such a bitch about it…"

Ellana sighed, collecting herself. "I'm sorry. You're right, I overreacted. I'm just angry I didn't know."

"Damn straight," Shivra replied, back to her usual self.

"So what do you know?" Ellana asked in a gentler tone.

Shivra launched in to her explanation, hurt now forgotten, "Well, he said there was this guy, some Tevinter twat. They want him but they can't get him where he is. Luckily, the dumbass is making a trip to Denerim and apparently he has a thing for elves. Especially the ones over here; who aren't slaves and have to give him everything he wants. Twat likes the challenge apparently."

Ellana could do little to disguise her disgust. She'd heard about men like this, men who tired of getting everything they wanted and so chose to take it from the reluctant by any means necessary. Shivra nodded knowingly at Ellana's expression.

She continued, "Anyway, he's known to visit the Denerim Alienage and I don't know if you've ever seen the place but it's seedy as hell. The elves there learnt that they could make a pretty tidy living appealing to the whole 'humans want to get with the mystical elves' thing and so they have a whole set up for that kind of trade, if you get my meaning… As you can imagine, a guy like this twat fucking loves it but that's how we're going to get him. One of us will go in, seduce the fucker away from his guards and then we nab him."

Ellana couldn't deny it seemed like a good plan; the option that would result in the least loss on their side. In spite of this, the idea disgusted her.

Sensing her disgust, Shivra went on, "If it's any consolation, I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about. You are his precious princess after all, I doubt he'd ever ask you to do it," unable to hide the slight bitterness in her tone.

"Precious princess?" Areina asked quietly, having joined them.

Ellana ignored her, too angry to care. "So, what?! I'm just supposed to make one of you do that to yourselves?! Fuck that!" she shouted.

She got angrily to her feet, moving off towards the camp.

"Ellana, wait! It's fine, really, we can do this! Don't go!" Lis shouted after her.

Her protests fell on deaf ears as Ellana stormed away.

* * *

Solas had spent much of the afternoon closed away in his office pondering his discussion with the Keeper. Ellana had been right, she did know far too much. Scepticism aside, the concept of her visions had intrigued him so he had opted to research the topic. Annoyingly he had been interrupted by the arrival of some books he had requested. A comely girl had brought them up, batting her eyelashes as many had over the years. She was certainly pretty, that much he couldn't deny, but she was nothing on Ellana. He just wished she would leave so he could resume his studies but his polite attempts had so far gone unheeded. As he was considering taking a more stern approach, the door was aggressively flung open.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Ellana shouted as she entered.

Her anger took Solas and the girl by surprise. Once he had recovered, he turned to the girl.

"Leave us. Now," he said firmly.

The girl dropped the books on his desk and scurried away, taking a moment to pointlessly check out her competition.

"What are you…" was all he manged to get out before Ellana started shouting again.

"You expect me to make one of my friends fawn over some monster as what, a fucking stripper or something?! You really think I would do that to them?! They're my fucking friends, Solas! How dare you!"

"Ellana, I have no idea what you are talking about," he replied.

"Denerim! The Alienage! The Tevinter guy?!" she cried.

Finally understanding, he interjected, "Magister. He's a Tevinter Magister. And yes, I need someone who has the skill to handle the situation but also will not be immediately rejected by him. Someone from your team seemed like a natural choice. They are all more than capable, all female, are trustworthy with such an important task and fit the level of appearance he tends to demand."

"Level of appearance?!"

"Well, in my opinion they don't come close to you but I doubt he would have any objections," he replied, foolishly mistaking her anger for jealousy.

"No! There is no way I am ever going to make them do something like that! Or even ask! That is not what any of them agreed to do!" She managed to calm herself down before continuing, "I won't make them do it but if there's no other way and this is really how it has to be…then I'll do it."

"No you will not," he replied, disbelief and anger coming in to his voice. "If you are so against asking your people, then that's fine. I can find somebody else."

"No way. You think I'm just going to leave here happy knowing some other poor girl is being subjected to that? No, I'm doing it," she replied firmly. "I can handle it and you said yourself, no one comes close to me and he'll want the best."

"Do not twist my words. You are perfectly capable but it is never going to happen. I completely forbid it," he stated, his tone growing irate.

"A second ago you were acting like it's no big deal but now, when it's me, you're suddenly against the idea? You're so full of shit," she yelled.

"So that's it? You're trying to make me see the error of my ways? Find some other option that doesn't degrade some poor girl? Well, there isn't anything! This is how we get him; the only weakness we can exploit. I have no other option that won't lead to bloodshed!" he shouted in return.

"No, that isn't my intention at all. I know you will have thought of everything, you always do," she said bitterly. "I am telling you that I am doing this. Not one of my friends; not some poor girl; me. Whether you like it or not."

"No you will not. You can never do this without my approval and that is something you will never have; not for this," he said, seething.

"Fuck you, don't you dare pull rank on me! I am not some puppet; unable to move unless you choose to pull the strings!" She was right in his face now, hot with rage. "What is it?! You don't like the idea of me seducing another man?! Even when I'd be doing it for you! Or am I just too precious to corrupt with something so sordid?! Could you not look at me the same way again?! Fuck you; I thought we were stronger than that!"

With her tirade over, she stormed out of the room and slammed the door. She could hear his angry cries as she descended the tower, along with the sound of crashing furniture.

* * *

It had taken a great deal of time to calm himself but Solas had eventually managed to find some respite in sleep. He had ensured his anger was buried before entering the Fade; such emotions would only attract the unwanted attention of demons. The sight of the world he knew so well brought him some comfort but he didn't have time to enjoy it. He was looking for something, more specifically someone.

It took much longer than he had anticipated finding the Keeper but, given his curiosity, he felt it was a worthwhile journey. She was in a realm he did not know well; in an area he did not recognise. He found her on the bank of a small lake, staring intently at its surface. She didn't see him until he willed it; unable to fully act on his appearance until he allowed. This level of control meant things had always been easier for him in the Fade.

The Keeper spoke once her faculties had fully returned, "I thought you might come, Wolf. Always eager for knowledge and the power it can bring."

"This place, I do not recognise it," he mused.

"Even with all your wandering, no one can claim to have seen all of the Fade. Some places are concealed; locked away unless you know they are there. This is such a place," Mirwen added.

"And this is where you have your dreams? See the future?" he asked disdainfully.

"This is where I see the images, yes. Perhaps you could see it too if you could only see past your own limitations and try…"

"Limitations? Which exactly, do you speak of?" he enquired.

"Such a closed mind for one who has seen so much. Your intellect demands logical reasoning and factual judgements. Anything beyond that is ludicrous to you. You forget the power of belief, emotions, love, faith and everything else you can't accurately quantify," she replied wistfully.

"You make me sound like an unfeeling monster."

"No, you feel; I don't doubt that. You just don't like it. You see it as a weakness, in yourself and others," she added thoughtfully.

Solas spoke before she could go on, "I didn't come here to hear your analysis of me…"

"No, you came here to see. I can show you; it will be fruitless but I can make you see."

"Alright…" he said suspiciously.

"Come, look at the water's surface," she said, leading him towards the lake. "Look into it, see past the water to what lies beyond."

He gazed in to the water, eyebrow raised in scepticism. Much to his surprise he could see something within the murky depths; although it was difficult to make out.

"What do you see, Wolf?"

"An elf… It's Ellana," he replied, unsurprised he would see such an obvious choice.

"Yes, but what else do you see? The meaning is always in the details," the Keeper added.

He struggled to see much more detail.

"She's holding something and there's something beside her; something white and red…" As he was about to give up on this foolish display, the image slowly became clearer; as though it were rising from the depths. "It's a bird; a white bird."

"The white raven," Mirwen stated. "It's next to her?"

"Yes. It's battered and bloody but not broken; in fact it looks enraged. Ellana is bleeding too. There's a pool forming beneath her," he continued, trying to suppress the disturbed feeling he had.

"She was holding something? A flower?" Mirwen queried.

"Yes, it is a flower. How did you…?"

"I have seen this before. Is the flower damaged at all?" she asked abruptly.

"No. It looks pristine," he replied, confused by her line of questioning.

"Good," she said with a sigh of relief. "Do you see yourself?"

"No, just Ellana. Did you?" he asked.

"At times. Well, I saw a white wolf but that is how I always saw you before we met." She paused. Sighing with frustration at his confused expression, she continued "In my experience, when one hasn't met the subject of an image they take a symbolic form; a creature or an object that represents them. In your case the obvious wolf but some are not so clear."

"But you saw Ellana…"

"No, not until I met her. I see her now but back then I saw a silver doe. It had her eyes and looked like her as much as any deer can but otherwise, I had little to go on beyond that," Mirwen replied, chuckling.

"So what I see could be three people?" he asked.

"Or creatures or objects or concepts or literally what you see. It's impossible to know…"

"Well that is impractically vague," he added, his doubts returning.

"Such is the Fade, as you well know. It matters little for you. You will wake up tomorrow and convince yourself that this entire foray was foolish. You'll swear it to be some elaborate trick; on my part or on the part of one of the less-reputable denizens of this realm. You will not be dissuaded from that path, no matter what I do," Mirwen lamented.

"Is that something you've seen?" he asked, disdain creeping in to his tone.

"No, you are just more predictable than you think," the Keeper replied.

* * *

The snow still hadn't let up. Commander Cullen trudged through the parts that hadn't been removed on his way to the main keep. A runner had come to his quarters and told him there was an urgent meeting in the war room. There had been nothing planned for this afternoon and nowadays it was irregular for an impromptu meeting to be called so his curiosity was piqued. Cassandra had arrived a few days earlier on one of her regular visits so he wondered if it could be in some way related to her presence. He heard her shouting through the war room door as he walked the final corridor.

"No! I won't believe this! He must be lying!" she shouted.

He could hear a muffled response that sounded like Leliana's voice.

"This can't be true! She wouldn't do this! I can't…"

Cassandra stopped shouting as Cullen entered the room. He could see the rage in her eyes as she shook her hands in exasperation; turning away from him.

"What is going on here?" Cullen asked.

No one answered. Josephine looked sheepish in the corner and Cassandra kept her back to him. Leliana looked at them both before she finally spoke.

"It's Ellana. We've found her," she said.

"You don't know that!" Cassandra shouted. "Maybe it isn't her, maybe he's wrong!"

"It is her and he is not wrong! She matches the description, she gave her name! She knew we would know and that's why she said what she said!" Leliana replied, failing to hold in her own emotion.

"I won't believe it! She wouldn't do that to us!" Cassandra exclaimed.

"Do what?!" Cullen asked, his voice louder and more forceful than he had intended.

Neither Leliana nor Cassandra could look at him. Josephine emerged from the corner, unwilling to keep her friend in the dark any longer.

"Ellana is working for Solas," Josephine said sadly.

"What?!" he exclaimed, his face crumpling with hurt. "How is that…surely that's not possible! He abandoned her!" A thousand thoughts raced through his mind.

"It's true," Leliana said.

"Who told you this?!" he asked frantically.

"Our spy in the Namahris clan was exposed so he made his way here. He met her and she identified as an agent of Fen'Harel. He swears this," Leliana replied, her voice breaking with hurt.

"Could he be wrong?" Cullen inquired hopefully.

"The woman he met matched her description excluding hair colour; but we had suspected that may be the case. She introduced herself by name so he is certain it was her," Leliana continued.

"Why was she there? Does he know anything else?" Cullen questioned.

"She was recruiting the clan," Leliana replied. "The spy wasn't privy to the details but it seems she succeeded in her task. He says that she personally exiled him when he was found out."

"Exiled? Then she must have known he would tell us everything," he mused.

"It seems so. He said she was well aware of what she was doing; even sent a message with him," Leliana remarked, seeming surprisingly amused.

"This is not right!" Cassandra shouted. "She wouldn't! I need to speak with this man myself!"

She stormed out of the room and Leliana followed her.

Cullen approached Josephine, hoping she had answers.

"What was the message?" he asked.

"I will be hunted no longer," Josephine replied sadly.

* * *

Having spent the night in her tent, Ellana awoke with a very sore neck. She left the tent; trying to stretch out some of the pain as she walked. Her friends' worried expressions greeted her from around the fire pit.

"So…how much damage did you do?" Shivra asked.

"None!" Ellana replied indignantly. "Well…maybe some. He was pretty pissed, to say the least."

"What exactly did you do?" Miris inquired carefully.

"I told him I didn't want any of you guys involved in that stuff and…" she trailed off.

"And?" Lis prodded.

"And that I would do it instead." Ellana finished.

"Shit… No wonder he was pissed," Lis remarked.

"Look, it won't be that bad. I can get through it…" Ellana tried to say, hoping to convince herself as well.

"No!" Shivra shouted, making them all jump. "You have no idea! It's different, doing it for money; choosing to do it as a way to get by. That's your choice and you're the one in control. You can pick and choose how it goes. This is different!"

"No one's forcing me to do this, Shivra. It's my choice," Ellana said.

"You are! You're forcing yourself to do this! You don't get to choose! You'll be stuck seducing a monstrous human being! It will be worse than you imagine, even if you feel like you have to do it! You will hate yourself for every second that he is near you!" she shouted.

"Shivra, I'm…"

"No!" she yelled desperately. "Did you know he tortures and kills his slaves for fun? At least one girl disappears each time he visits that fucking city and is never heard from again. Can you guess what he does to her?! Even if it is all a ruse, you can't cosy up to someone like that and not spend the rest of your life disgusted with yourself! I know that from experience!"

Shivra's admission stunned the group in to silence. Ellana heard her friend's impassioned cries but still her determination remained. Everything Shivra had said had only strengthened her resolve.

"Thank you for caring enough to say something and I understand your concern but…"

"But you're still going to do it…" Miris added sadly.

"I have to," Ellana lamented. "Shivra, you were right in everything you said but I can't just leave someone else to go through that. I should be the one to take the hit, not any of you. Please, accept my decision and help me to move on. I don't want to fight with all of you too."

The group gradually murmured their approval with Shivra reluctantly agreeing last.

"Where's Ari?" Ellana asked, finally noticing her absence.

"Packing up her stuff. She's going to move in here," Lis answered.

"Well, that's good at least," Ellana added.

"So what are we going to do next?" Lis enquired.

"Well, Solas certainly won't be giving us any more information so I guess we need to find it somewhere else?" Ellana mused sadly.

"We could ask Varden," Shivra suggested. "He's the one who plans out all the details of these things so he'd know just as much."

"But surely he wouldn't go against his superior…he seems too loyal for that?" Ellana probed.

"Well that depends, do you think he'll have even told him?" Shivra asked. "If he hasn't given a specific order to keep the information from us then…"

"Then he wouldn't technically be doing anything wrong," Ellana said. "You think that would really work?"

Shivra smiled sadly, "It's worth a shot."

* * *

Leaving the others behind, Ellana and Shivra had proceeded to Varden's office. The entire time Ellana begged with the universe that she wouldn't see Solas and luckily for them, their journey went unheeded. As they entered the office, she felt sweet relief wash over her. He greeted Shivra warmly as she entered. For a split second, Ellana thought she saw his expression drop as he noticed her following behind.

"I'm afraid this isn't a social call, V. We want to discuss the Alienage," Shivra said.

"It is a pleasure to see you Lady Ellana. Have you heard the news of our agents in the Inquisition?" he remarked.

"No, what is it?" Ellana asked, suddenly worried.

"They've started to return. It seems your man is delivering on his promises. I should not have doubted you; you have my apologies," he said.

"That's wonderful news!" she exclaimed.

"Indeed. So tell me, have you chosen who will fell the Magister?" he asked, looking concernedly towards Shivra.

"I'm going to do it myself," Ellana replied.

"Oh…" He looked surprised but beneath that Ellana could see something that resembled respect. "Does Fen'Harel know of this?" he enquired carefully.

"Yes, he does," Ellana replied, equally reserved.

Sadly, his questioning was not done, "And how did he react to that decision?"

"Pretty much exactly as you would think. But that is beside the point, I need you to give me all the information you have on the job and on the Alienage itself," she stated.

"He no doubt forbade you to undertake this task," he added, unwilling to drop the subject. "You expect me to go against my leader's wishes…"

"Yes. He obviously hasn't told you any of this so I can safely assume he has given you no express orders to keep information from us. So with that in mind, I expect you to do your job and give us the information we need to complete the task until told otherwise," Ellana replied firmly.

"Clever," he remarked, now smiling.

* * *

Back in the forest, the two passed on all the information they had gained to the rest of the group. As Shivra had said, the Magister was due to visit the city at some point in the near future and with it, he would inevitably be drawn to the Alienage. He was just as much of a monster as she had claimed. Ellana hadn't finished reading all the information they had on him but she was already sick to her stomach. He went through slaves like they were nothing; using whatever method his sick mind desired to dispatch them. He ensured it was never quick; some suffered years in torture before death finally released them. As the years passed he had grown tired of playing with slaves, desiring less restrained prey. He took whatever opportunity he could to visit the lands where elves walked free – taking whomever he desired through either money or force. Despite his cruelty, Ellana couldn't help but sense a duality to his actions – on the one side he clearly despised elves but on the other he clearly desired them. Perhaps that desire for something so sub-human fuelled his rage. The Alienage itself was just as seedy as Shivra had described but the people had prospered as a result. Ellana had never been to an Alienage but she had heard plenty of stories; very few were in any way pleasant. She couldn't judge these people for trying to escape that life by any means necessary. In fact, she found it rather remarkable that a group of elves had found a way to flourish quite literally off the backs of humans.

When it became apparent that they would need to use the Denerim Alienage as the hunting ground for this operation, Varden set about converting its population to their cause. It was an easy task, given the conditions of the place but there were still those that he had to regrettably remove. With his task completed some time ago, it left the Alienage completely under their control. He suggested they should visit the place and get the lay of the land, a sentiment Ellana agreed with.

"I'm going to get to see an Alienage? I've never seen one before!" Ari exclaimed.

"It's going to be fucking horrible, get ready for that," Shivra added gruffly.

"Don't worry Ari, we'll look after you," Lis said playfully. "Careful where you look though, wouldn't want you to see something you're not ready for! We might need to have a talk about where babies come from before we go…"

"Shut up! I already know all that!" Ari whined.

Ellana rubbed her eyes as they light-heartedly argued. She was glad they all seemed to be getting along but she felt exhausted. Ari stopped speaking suddenly, turning her head quickly towards a sound only she heard. Ellana looked up, confused by the sudden silence.

"Shit…" Shivra whispered.

Ellana followed her gaze and felt her heart drop as she saw Solas approaching them.

"You all should probably go," Ellana said. She really didn't want to have this conversation with an audience.

"Are you sure you won't need back-up?" Lis asked.

"No, I'll be fine," Ellana said, trying to sound confident. "Just get out of here, will you?"

"Fine, fine. Let's go everyone!" Lis announced, grabbing Ari by the arm.

"Can't we just stay and listen?" Ari asked.

"Definitely not," Miris replied, grabbing her other arm.

* * *

"So who gets to shout first?" Ellana asked, hoping her comment might do something to lighten the mood.

She couldn't read how Solas was feeling. Mirwen had been right, there were times he hid himself; restraining what parts of him he would allow you to see. Such times had become a rare occurrence for Ellana. It still hurt when he chose to shut her out and the rarity did nothing to comfort that feeling. She was reminded of their relationship in the Inquisition and all the moments she had once cherished; later found to be laced with lies. She couldn't trust him when he was holding back like this.

"I don't want to fight with you, Ellana," he said evenly.

"Neither do I but I'm telling you right now, if your still bent on keeping me from doing my job then we have nothing to talk about! It isn't your place to…"

He raised a hand, stopping her before she could launch in to a new tirade.

"Ellana, I… It gives me no joy to say this. The thought of you…" He stopped short, too hurt to go on. "If I had my way, you would never be in a position like that; certainly not for my sake. Nevertheless, it was never my decision to make and I was wrong to try and force you away from your own choice. I was selfish."

Ellana took a moment to fully accept what he had said. She had expected to fight him on this until it was over.

"Thank you," she finally said. "But, I'm surprised. I didn't expect you to make such a quick turnaround, especially not after last night…"

"Varden spoke with me; made me see that your reasons reach far beyond you or I. Last night I couldn't see past my own emotions; I didn't even think about why you would choose such a path. It was selfish of me and for that, I am sorry," he continued with a genuine look of sorrow. "Although it will undoubtedly still hurt, it is your choice. A choice, I cannot rightly restrict. You mean the world to me, Ellana," he finished, pulling her in to an embrace.

Pressed against his chest, she uttered, "I know. You just wanted to protect me; I would do the exact same thing for you."

He smiled, reaching in so their lips met. Sinking in to him, she felt both his joy and his sorrow. She had never been so sure and, at the same time, uncertain of something in all her life.

"You know I love you, right? No matter what may come," she asked quietly.

"I do and I feel the same way," he replied, ensuring their eyes met. "Ar lath, ma vhenan," he whispered before kissing her once more.


	12. The Alienage

Commander Cullen stood against the war room wall, head in his hands. There was no doubt any longer; it was her. They hadn't spoken a word to one another since they had finished with the spy. There was nothing any of them could say that could change how they all felt.

"I'll need to send ravens to the others, they would want to know," Josephine said finally.

"Maybe we should hold off; wait until we've seen her for ourselves," Cassandra said, still holding on to a glimmer of hope.

"I promised Dorian I would tell him as soon as we knew anything. He'd never forgive me if I kept this from him. The others deserve the same courtesy," Josephine replied.

Cassandra didn't seem to have the strength to argue and Josie left to send her ravens unhindered.

"What do we do now?" Cassandra asked weakly.

"We find her," Leliana stated with determination.

"What? We can't do that! You heard what she said! She doesn't want us!" Cullen cried in a wounded voice.

"I don't care what she wants; we need answers and we're finally in a place to get them," Leliana replied. Her voice was disturbingly calm. "The spy said he thinks they're searching for something and he knows places they might look. Perhaps if we were to keep an eye on these places then she would walk right in to our path."

"You want to place soldiers in Maker knows how many locations in the hope that Ellana happens to walk in to one of them? Do you not hear how ridiculous that sounds?" Cullen retorted, his anger bubbling over.

"They just acquired this Dalish clan and if I'm right then it was for these locations. If we have eyes on them then we should start seeing elven agents turning up pretty soon. Even if I am wrong, we'll know quickly and nothing will have been lost," Leliana added coldly. "But if I'm right…"

"Then one of those agents could be Ellana and we can get answers," Cassandra finished. She paused, lost in thought. "Do it but disguise the men; we can't let them know it's us. Even if we don't find Ellana directly, this could be the lead we've been looking for."

"As you wish," Leliana uttered, leaving to set to work.

"You know we shouldn't do this," Cullen said desperately, hoping Cassandra might see sense. "She doesn't want to be found, Cassandra! Why can't you just accept that?"

"She forfeited her right to ask anything of me when she abandoned us," she replied bitterly. "She betrayed us like we meant nothing to her, all for him. You're the one who needs to accept that."

She walked angrily from the room; leaving Cullen to sink in to despair.

* * *

Days had passed since Ellana and her love had reconciled in the forest. He had fully accepted her decision as he promised; lending his aid whenever she needed it. Theirs lives had returned to the comfortable normalcy Ellana had become used to. As the Magister wasn't due darken their door for some weeks, they had the gift time and with it, some well-earned respite. Sadly, their time together came to an end as Solas left to attend the field for a few days. Ellana didn't probe too deeply; it was such a rare thing for him to physically participate in a mission so she knew it must be something important. She chose to take his departure as an opportunity and planned with her friends to visit the Denerim Alienage. Both Varden and Solas had suggested the team needed to know the place before the day came. Now seemed like the perfect time.

When they finally reached the great gate that separated the Alienage from the rest of the city, Ellana was relieved. Their walk through the city streets had been trying. Men called out to them with vulgar phrases and sounds. In an unfortunate alleyway one had even tried to grab at Miris and was rewarded for his efforts with a fist to the face. He was lucky they managed to restrain Shivra in time; otherwise he would have paid for his actions with more than just his pride.

Seeing an Alienage for the first time was not a pleasant experience. Denerim's was actually nicer than those Shivra and Lis had previously described but it still harked of squalor and desperation. Many of the buildings looked to be little more than shacks but it was clear that some had undergone more recent updates to make them more comfortable. A great tree grew from the centre, the last remaining symbol of their elven heritage. Beyond it sat the largest of the buildings. It was more carefully constructed than the others and marked with colourful paintings of elven women. Lanterns hung across its walls, unlit due to the early hour. This building was no doubt the home of the dancing girls; taking back what they were owed from the humans in exchange for their honour.

"I fucking hate these places," Shivra remarked as they walked.

"You didn't have to come here, you know? You could have stayed home," Ellana said.

"And leave you guys to fend for yourselves? Fuck no! Who knows what you'd get yourselves in to without me!" Shivra added.

"So this is how city elves live?" Areina mused, her usual excitement gone.

"Not the same as wandering the forest is it?" Ellana replied.

"Definitely not," the Dalish girl said.

A disgruntled elven woman approached them from one of the houses. Her face was withered, although Ellana was sure from her other features that she couldn't have been that much older than her.

"You're early! The raven said you wouldn't be arriving until midday!" she angrily exclaimed.

"I apologise," Ellana replied. "We left at dawn, thinking it would take longer to travel here. I didn't expect anyone to be meeting us. I thought…"

"Well you thought wrong! The girls won't be up for at least another hour!" the withered woman yelled.

"The girls?" Ellana asked, completely confused.

"Yes! One of your people arranged it all. Which of you is going to learn the craft?" she asked disgruntledly.

"The craft?" Ellana asked cautiously, ready for another tirade.

Before it could come, another elf appeared.

"Brilla, calm yourself! I will attend to our guests until you are ready," said the new elf.

The withered elf stormed away, much to the teams' relief. The elf they were left with was exceptionally unremarkable. He seemed to have no distinguishing features at all. He lacked the gaunt look of a life of squalor which brought Ellana to the conclusion that he must be a fellow agent. He led them away in to one of the houses before finally speaking.

"I hope you travelled well. May I ask, which of you will be trapping our target?" he asked.

"I am," Ellana replied.

"Ah, the fabled Fen'Asha. The rumours of your beauty are true, I see. That is good," he remarked.

Ellana hated surprise compliments; she never knew how to respond. Part of her wanted to thank him while the other wanted to curl away inside of herself. She opted instead to ignore him.

"I take it you are a fellow agent?" she asked.

"Yes. We were informed of your imminent arrival. There is much you need to learn if we are to succeed as planned," he replied.

"Much I need to learn?" Ellana inquired.

"The Magister is something of a regular to this place. We need him to choose you of his own free will and let his guard down enough in your presence to give us a chance. He won't do either of those things unless you can portray yourself in a certain way. I would hope you will need instruction in how to achieve that," he said.

"Who exactly, is going to teach me that?" Ellana asked.

* * *

"Hey! You can't just stop! If I'm doing this then you guys are too!" Ellana shouted.

The withered elf and a troupe of her best girls had been putting them through dance drills for well over an hour. Watching her friends' hilarious attempts was getting Ellana through the experience. Most of them had the moves down; dexterity from years of battle experience finally paying off. The only one who had any real difficulty was Areina who seemed completely incapable of dancing. She just bounced around excitedly, much to the annoyance of the girl trying to teach her. Only Lis seemed in to it; dancing along happily with her instructor. The girl assigned to Ellana was growing frustrated with her. The blonde was apparently the best dancer in the business and really lovely to look at but she certainly lacked patience.

"You can do the moves fine and you're certainly pretty but that will only get you so far! You need to dance with feeling!" the girl exclaimed. "You'll never get him to pick you unless you present yourself as both desirable and mysterious; that's what these people want to see!"

Ellana stifled a laugh. She certainly didn't feel desirable or mysterious; she felt like a complete idiot.

"You're a spy right? So you've taken on roles before! You should be able to do that!" the blonde said in exasperation.

"That's completely different. I have never had to dance around as a spy!" Ellana scoffed.

"No, it's exactly the same! What do you do as a spy? You convince your target that you are what you want them to see. This is just like that! It doesn't matter who you're dancing for, you convince that person that you are the only thing they need," the girl remarked angrily.

"I suppose…" Ellana replied.

"So how would you do it in your world?" the girl asked hopefully.

"Well…usually I draw on my own experiences, it's more convincing that way," Ellana replied.

"Exactly! That's what I do too," the girl said happily. "So do you have anyone you care about; anyone who has already seen you in this way?"

"Hell yeah she does!" Shivra exclaimed annoyingly from nearby.

"Then think of that person. If you can convince yourself that you're dancing for him then the client will be convinced too," the blonde stated.

Ellana placed her head in her hands, wanting to scream. Mercifully before she was made to dance again, the withered elf piped up.

"I think that is enough for today! You lot need to get out of here before customers start arriving!"

Ellana and her friends were ushered out of the premises as the dancing girls sighed with relief. Despite their failures, her friends seemed to have enjoyed themselves.

"That was fun!" Areina exclaimed. "Those dancers were amazing! It would be great to just dance around all day!"

"Not the way you were doing it, kiddo!" Shivra added, ruffling Ari's mouse brown hair. "You'd turn the punters right off!"

"Go easy on her! She did her best," Lis remarked. "At least she had fun with it, unlike some people." She nudged Shivra in the ribs.

Ellana interjected before Shivra could respond, "Please tell me there is somewhere we can get drunk that doesn't have dancing girls?"

* * *

The group had eventually been directed to a building at the back of the Alienage; an inn that catered exclusively to the residents. It was a wise idea, elves and humans drinking in the same place could only lead to trouble. There were certainly no dancing girls but the place was far from quiet. The group gravitated to an area of seating towards the back and ordered a round. The elves around them were much too occupied to question the appearance of these strangers. Some were lost in eager conversation while others danced to folksy music on a makeshift dancefloor in the centre. The sorrow of the outside world seemed pleasantly forgotten in this place.

Conversation and drinks flowed freely between them. Lis and Shivra shared their own experiences of Alienage life, neither wholesome nor happy. Shivra suffered at the hands of humans as so many of their brethren had. She spoke of a noble taking umbrage at her protecting a sister from his advances and how he had made her suffer as a result. She skirted vaguely around the subject but Ellana could tell that she had experienced something more horrifying than she was letting on. Even still, Ellana did not doubt that Shivra paid that pain back in kind. Lis was different; most of her suffering had been at the hands of her own kind. Lis had already shared such stories with Ellana long before now so she knew more than the blonde elf was saying – an arranged husband, a secret lover, murder and a baby lost to pain.

"You're stories are all so sad!" Ari cried, sniffling loudly.

"You've never had anything sad happen to you?" Lis asked.

"Not really." Ari shrugged. "Well…my dad died saving my mother from bandits and then she died giving birth to me but I don't remember them. My clan were my family so I guess it never mattered. But now, you guys are my family!"

"The weirdest fucking family in the world!" Shivra slurred, putting an arm around Ari.

Ellana tried to fully enjoy the evening with her friends but her worries still played on in the back of her mind. She felt bonded to these women and she feared that her connection to the Inquisition could endanger them greatly. She was certain her former friends would not want to harm her personally; wanting answers more than anything; but she was sure her friends would not be treated with the same esteem.

"You alright? You look troubled," Lis asked aside from the others.

"I'm worried about the Inquisition. I'm worried what might happen if they catch up to us. We need a plan; I need to know you guys will all be safe," Ellana uttered.

"So let's talk about it," Lis replied. "Everyone, listen up! Shivra shut it for a damn minute! We need to have a plan in case the Inquisition finds us and now is as good a time as any to discuss it!"

"You really think they'll put out the resources to try and catch up to us?" Miris asked pensively.

"They already have! They wasted a load of manpower just trying to find Ellana, I'm sure they won't back down now that they've found her," Shivra added.

"But what will they do if they do find us? It's not like they're going to kill her, they were friends once," Lis questioned.

"No, they wouldn't hurt me. Not without talking to me first. They'll probably want to take me in," Ellana mused. "I'm more worried about all of you. They don't need you alive and to them, you're just like any old elves."

"Protecting you is our first priority, it doesn't matter what happens as a result of that," Lis said.

"It matters to me! They won't hurt me but you…" Ellana stopped, unable to finish. "My priority is ensuring you survive such an encounter; if that means I get captured then that is what we do."

"But we can't let them take you! You're the leader!" Ari exclaimed.

"Yes, you will," Ellana replied, her thoughts racing. "If they come for us we have no choice. Even if you fight to protect me, they will cut you down and I will be captured anyway. All that matters to them is me…" An idea was forming in her head. "They don't want to attack me; they can't get what they want if I'm dead. If they corner us, I'll make them an offer they can't refuse. I'll agree to let them take me without conflict if they agree to let you all go free. They get what they want and you all stay safe."

"Nah, fuck that! They might agree until you're in chains but they'll come after us. They can't let us just wander off to get back-up," Shivra remarked.

"Oh… You're probably right…" Ellana replied, mind still slightly hazy from drink. She paused as her mind formulated the answer. "That's exactly what you need to do; you need to get help and fast. As you say, they'll start hunting you down but we can make that more difficult for them and buy us the time we need."

"We split up, throw them off the trail. With more than one group to follow, it will take them much longer," Ari added.

"Exactly," Ellana agreed. "Two of you take an obvious route, doing little to hide your trail. Hopefully they will go after that group first, diverting attention from the second couple. The last two will take a less travelled route, avoiding detection for as long as possible. They are the ones that will have to get a message out before they are found."

"Well, Lis and Ari are best at avoiding detection; they should take the second group and Miris and I will take the first," Shivra remarked.

The group nodded their approval.

"But how are we going to get a message back here?" Lis asked.

"Ari, do you think you can keep some ravens up in the air nearby?" Ellana asked, remembering Ari had an odd kinship with the birds.

"If I can choose who we take then yeah, they'll come when I call," Areina replied.

"Then we have a plan," Ellana stated with relief. "Hopefully we'll never need to use it."

"Couldn't Lis and I just sneak away when their busy with the others?" Ari asked.

"I would doubt that," Ellana replied. "They're not fools; they know if they let you go you'll be back with more numbers. They will do everything in their power to hunt you down." She paused, a terrible thought occurring to her. "When they do find you then please, all of you must give up immediately. Even if you haven't managed to get help you must throw down your weapons and do whatever they ask; hopefully then they won't hurt any of you. I couldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you. Do you understand?"

They all solemnly nodded in agreement.

"Good. Now let's go dance! This discussion is too depressing!" Ellana asked.

"We're all right behind you," Lis remarked, getting up and brushing herself off.

"Lis, who do we send the raven to?" Ari asked quietly as Ellana walked off.

"Who do you think kiddo?" Lis asked. When Ari didn't reply she continued, "Who's going to be the most enraged if she gets captured?"

Ari's eyes widened, "Ooh! Of course! But I thought we're not supposed to tell him?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures. We'll need all the firepower we've got to get her out and I can think of no one better than him," Lis replied.

"Indeed! Good luck to those Inquisition bastards." Shivra added. "They're going to need it when the Dread Wolf comes knocking!"

* * *

Ellana and her team had spent a couple of days in the Alienage. They'd been put through many more drills by the dancers and Ellana's instructor claimed she was improving. She'd even been convinced to perform with Lis on the club's stage. Her instructor insisted it would be best to get her first performance out the way when there weren't such high stakes and Ellana couldn't exactly argue with that. The girls told her she had been very well received with many of the patrons offering ludicrous sums of money for a private dance from her. Much to their disappointment she declined all the offers; not wishing to get any closer than she absolutely had to. She'd hated wearing the outfit they loaned her; a floaty thing that covered so little one could barely call it a dress. The withered woman had insisted she would need her own, properly fitted dress for the actual event; taking her measurements to have one made. It really wasn't Ellana's style and it seemed like such a waste. She was open to being convinced of the merits of such a thing but Solas had never shown any interest in anything like that. She had always got the impression he would much rather see her wearing nothing at all.

They left as soon as they were ready. None of them were particularly sad to leave but Ari danced the whole way home. She had definitely not improved.

* * *

Ellana awoke the next morning in Lis's tent. It was a relief to be back home. Solas was still away so she didn't want to spend the night in the lonely tower; opting instead to spend it with her friends. He was due back today so she awoke excited. It was good to spend some time apart but she couldn't deny she had missed him terribly in his absence.

Shortly before midday, a buzz of sudden activity came over the camps. Ellana overheard talk of their leader's imminent return from the Crossroads. Barely able to contain herself it took real effort not to run to the tower. When she entered she saw him across the entrance hall thanking the team who had accompanied him. Once their conversation was finished she eagerly stepped forward.

"Ellana! It's…" he tried to say, cut off by her crushing embrace.

She didn't care that they had an audience. In fact, the thought didn't even occur to her.

"It's good to see you," he finished, returning her affections. "We should probably go upstairs," he whispered.

Ellana, suddenly aware of those around her, pulled away from him. She reddened as she glanced around the room at the gawping audience.

"Sorry…" she whispered back.

He chuckled. "Go, I'll follow shortly," he said before turning to speak with a nearby elf.

She barely had time in the office to compose herself before he followed. She ran the short distance to him, embracing him once more. He lifted her as she reached him and their lips met feverishly.

"Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?" Ellana remarked angrily.

"We suffer together, vhenan. Most of all when we are apart," he replied.

He kissed her again before lowering her to the floor. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. He leaned in to her in kind, taking in her scent.

"Please tell me you got what you needed. Tell me I didn't suffer in vain," she requested, still buried in his chest.

"It wasn't what I wanted. An orb still eludes me but there was power…power I can use," he replied.

"A replacement for the orb I got destroyed?" she asked, finally lifting her head so her voice was clear.

"It wasn't your fault, vhenan," he added.

"I know but maybe I could have done more…"

"There was nothing you could have done differently," he said firmly. "Rectifying my mistake was already enough of a task; I would never have expected anything more."

She laughed. "Too true. You still owe me for that!"

"I owe you much more," he said, kissing her again.

"Well, I guess I could let it slide…for you at least," she said, smiling broadly. "So no clues to an orb replacement but you did get something out of it?"

"Yes. The ruins housed an old power, one I took for myself. I'm going to need a great deal more before this is done," he replied. "What of your time in the Alienage?"

"It was illuminating to say the least. I knew things were bad in the cities but I never imagined… I have never been so glad to be Dalish," she remarked sadly.

"Did you..." He swallowed hard before continuing, "learn what you needed?"

"Eventually. I still need practice but it's getting there," she replied. "So, you didn't find anything that could lead us to that key Mirwen was talking about?" she asked, eager to change the subject.

"No, nothing but that was only one of the locations she suggested. There are others…" he mused.

"And you're going to go to each one?" she asked, disappointed at the prospect of him leaving again.

"Not necessarily. This one was closed, blocked by rubble. It would have taken a team weeks to clear it all whereas it took me only minutes. It would have been foolish to wait. Mirwen told me most of the other locations are fully accessible; she even explored a few herself. I see no reason why I can't trust agents to check them in my place, if they're trustworthy enough," he replied, smiling.

"You mean me don't you?" she replied, feigning annoyance.

"I have another matter to attend to in the next few days and I thought you would prefer to be out in the field rather than waiting here…" he added slyly.

"Definitely. It's ages until we move on the Magister, I need something to keep me occupied!" she replied.

"Excellent, we can go over the details later but now…now I have something else in mind," he said, pulling her close again.

"Oh, really?" she asked with a devious smile. She brought her lips painfully close to his but no further. "What could that be, I wonder?"

* * *

"She's here! She's here!" Ari called out as Ellana neared their camp.

She'd stayed at the tower much later than usual on this morning so she hadn't been surprised to find her friends up and about. However, she was immediately suspicious of their excitement to see her. The looks on the others' faces as they appeared did nothing to quell her suspicion.

"What are you up to?" she warily asked.

Ari came to stand with the rest of the furtive bunch; hopping about excitedly.

"Nothing…nothing at all," Lis remarked, shaking her head unconvincingly.

"We have presents!" Ari exclaimed happily.

"For fucks sake, Ari! We're not ready yet!" Shivra yelled angrily.

Areina looked hurt, "Sorry, I couldn't keep it in any longer!"

"Presents?" Ellana questioned. "What sort of presents?"

"We got something for you, for all of us!" Shivra replied, also sounding excited. "We were going to… Give us a minute. Wait right there!"

Her friends scurried back in to Lis's tent. Ellana could hear them giggling as she waited. After what seemed like an age, Lis called out from the tent.

"Okay Ellana, we're ready!" Lis shouted. "So we're a team now; all working together as one but we don't look like a team. We thought that we should rectify that, we are professionals after all! So…we got us…" The group emerged suddenly from the tent. "…matching team outfits!"

Ellana couldn't deny that it did look much better. The group all matched; each wearing black with silver armour pieces. However, each person had their own stylized pieces, no two exactly the same. Miris's was obviously more mage-like with a leather base in the centre and billowing cloth portions at the back and sides. Her shoulders were covered by silver metal pauldrons that were styled to look like a mass of tiny icicles. Lis's outfit was made up of largely figure hugging black leather. A separate, sturdier piece was attached across her shoulders and arms which left a mischievous circle of skin visible below her neck. Shivra's concealed her entirely with gradated leather around a central breastplate and chainmail elements for good measure. Areina's was suitably Dalish in style. A leather centrepiece gave way to a layer of chainmail beneath. The leather was stylised with subtle tree designs, hinting to her heritage.

"You look amazing!" Ellana exclaimed, getting up to hug her friends.

"We look like an actual team!" Lis cried happily.

"So where's mine?" Ellana asked.

"In there," Shivra replied, gesturing to the tent. "Go try it on!"

"Keep an open mind," Miris remarked, widening her eyes knowingly.

* * *

The boots were her favourite part; she had never worn anything so comfortable. They were the only part of their outfits that matched exactly and Ellana now understood why. They were knee high and made from the same dark leather. Silver metal was dappled up the front surface, giving added protection. She was unsure about the rest. The trousers she could deal with, simple black leather. The shoulder pieces were a mixture of leather, metal and wolf fur; descending down her arms and finishing with a gauntleted hand on her left and simple leather on her right. That was fine, in fact she was impressed they had thought to conceal her abnormal arm and she thought the wolf fur a fitting touch. What gave her pause was the central portion. The leather neckline plunged far beyond where she would have chosen. A chainmail vest beneath kept her protected and helped somewhat to maintain her dignity but not nearly enough for Ellana. The neckline finished just above her waist where a beautifully engraved plate of silver wrapped around her and held two pieces of soft leather that extended down the side of each leg, billowing satisfyingly as she moved.

Once she had worked up the courage, she emerged from the tent and was met with her friends' eager grins.

"Was it supposed to be so revealing?" she asked, hoping not to hurt their feelings.

"You're our leader! You need to show off your best assets!" Shivra answered, laughing.

"My best assets?! Are you serious?!" Ellana exclaimed.

"What? It looks good!" Lis added.

"Good? My tits are practically out!" Ellana shouted.

"No, seriously! It does look really good on you! I wish I could pull something like that off," Ari remarked.

"You think?" Ellana asked doubtfully. "It actually looks good? You guys aren't just messing with me?"

"No, take it from me, you look damn good," Miris said.

"The real issue is, do you feel…you know…supported?" Shivra asked. "Wouldn't want anything to pop out when we're in the middle of a fight."

Ellana ran off and did a couple of quick handsprings to be absolutely certain.

"Nope, nothing. This is surprisingly supportive," she replied, nodding in approval. "I guess I could get used to it; would certainly get people's attention."

"Yeah! If you've got it, you may as well show it off!" Lis added.

Everyone nodded their approval.

"Look at us! We're like a real little team!" Ari exclaimed. "So we're wearing this to the ruins right? Our first proper team outing!"

"Hell yeah!" Shivra replied as everyone else agreed just as enthusiastically.

Talk of their imminent journey gave Ellana pause. Solas seemed certain it would be completely safe. They only needed to complete some fairly simple rituals to get to the chamber where the key was supposed to reside but Ellana still felt uneasy. She wondered if the Inquisition knew yet of her betrayal and how far they would go to see her again.

* * *

Cullen, Leliana, Josephine and Cassandra were gathered in the war room once again. Another emergency meeting had been called as their gambit had paid off but it had not been without cost.

"The troops reported seven elves were present, likely all agents of Fen'Harel," Cullen stated, what little hope he had left now dashed.

"Did they capture any of them?" Leliana asked hopefully.

"Scores of my men were slaughtered, Leliana. Those that survived barely made it back here. Some will still die of their injuries," the commander replied angrily.

"I am sorry Cullen but we couldn't have anticipated he would be with them," Cassandra added.

"You're certain it was Solas?" Leliana asked. "Their injuries sound consistent with what we know of his magic but we need to be sure."

"It was definitely him. One of the injured men has been with the Inquisition a long time and remembered him from before," Cullen replied mournfully.

"How many did we lose?" Cassandra asked.

"Two died instantly and another three were killed shortly after. Two more died while trying to return here. Three more are injured with one unlikely to make it beyond today. The wounds resist most conventional means of healing. Those that do survive will be permanently disfigured," Cullen reported.

"Maker's breath," Josephine whispered in disbelief.

Cassandra let out an angry cry and punched the table in a rage.

"All that destruction… It was all him?" Leliana asked.

"Yes. When my men appeared he apparently sent the other elves away. It was just him," Cullen replied, anger rising in his tone.

"But he didn't realise they were Inquisition?" Leliana requested.

"The reports suggest he had no idea. Perhaps if he had known then we wouldn't have lost so many," Cullen mused bitterly.

"Perhaps but this is good. We'll need to take the proper precautions; be certain Solas is not present before we approach," Leliana mused.

"You can't be serious? We need to pull our men out of there!" Cullen shouted.

"No, we're on to something. We can't just give up now! This is the first real lead we've had in much too long," Leliana snapped.

"She's right, we need to take a more cautious approach but we can't abandon this," Cassandra added.

"Maybe we should give it a chance, Cullen? At least for now," Josephine agreed.

"Then whatever happens, on your heads be it," Cullen said, leaving the room angrily.


	13. Temple Run

**A/N - A bit of a note before we start. Initially, I didn't really want to bring myself in to this too much but I feel now that it should be said. With this being my first fumbling attempt at any sort of real writing, I find it utterly ludicrous that anyone is choosing to read this. Ludicrous but also immensely touching so thank you all. Reading the first review I got actually made me a bit teary eyed which may not sound like a lot but it is coming from me. So thank you LuniaWolfe and all who have followed after.**

* * *

"What are you wearing?" Solas asked with a chuckle.

"My new armour, the girls got it for me. What do you think?" Ellana replied, giving a quick turn. "It's a bit more revealing than I would have hoped but they say I need to 'show off my best assets'."

"Well I can't argue with that," he added with yet more laughing.

"Well?" she asked grumpily, put off by his teasing tone.

"It's certainly eye-catching…" he replied.

"You don't like it?" she asked, crestfallen. "They said it looked good! I should probably go change…"

"No!" he replied a little too eagerly. "I mean, it does look good; really good in fact. I'm just… I wish we had more time…" he added, shifting to caress her cheek.

"Oh… Oh! So it looks that good huh?" she laughed.

"It's…" he tried to form the words but was much too distracted.

"Eye-catching, right?" she said as she reached up and kissed him. "We really don't have time?"

"No, I'm already late," he said mournfully.

She reached up and kissed him again, hoping to dissuade him for a few moments.

"I'm serious Ellana. I need to go," he said, pulling away from her. Seeing her dejected expression, his tone softened, "I'll be waiting when you return." He gently raised her chin. "Ar lath, ma vhenan."

She let out a satisfied sigh as she kissed him goodbye. She was glad she would have a task to occupy her. She welcomed anything that could distract her mind from him.

* * *

It had been a tediously long journey from their Eluvian exit point to the location that had been marked on their map. Ellana was surprised by how unremarkable the site seemed. Beneath the vast mountain range there was some evidence of Elvhen architecture but it had been almost fully reclaimed by nature. Anything that may have once been significant was now shrouded in foliage. Amongst the green the entrance itself looked like little more than a simple cave. Broken boards covered part of the entrance and abandoned mining equipment dappled the floor which only added to that image.

"Are you sure this is the place?" Ellana asked.

"Definitely. It's been months but I'm sure this is it," Areina replied.

Mirwen had been here before, entire clan in tow, so Ellana trusted that Ari knew what she was talking about. However, there had been no mention of any mine so the strewn equipment made her question.

Shivra mirrored her thoughts, "What's with the mining operation? Who sets up in an ancient elvhen ruin?"

"Maybe they just found the cave and saw an opportunity?" Lis added.

"Or maybe they didn't know what they were dealing with," Ellana thought aloud. "Whatever their reasons, looks like they left in a hurry. That can't be a good sign."

One by one they climbed through the entrance, careful to avoid the splintered wood. When it came to Ari's turn she paused, turning back out to the wilderness with a start.

"What is it?" Ellana asked, concerned.

"I thought I heard something… It's probably nothing; an animal," Ari replied, brow furrowed.

Ellana nodded as Ari came through the entrance. The Dalish girl had been blessed with far greater senses than the average elf. It was a very valuable skill and Ellana was happy to trust in it. She did not actively doubt her friend's judgement but she couldn't help taking a long, suspicious look out in to the wilderness before she joined the others.

They proceeded down the winding passageway that splayed out before them, passing more equipment as they went. It got darker as they moved deeper in to the mountainside, too dark to keep their pace. A quick search of the surrounding equipment yielded two torches that they hastily lit. With these in hand they were able to proceed mostly unheeded. After some way they reached a crossroads.

"Left or right?" Lis asked.

Darkness enveloped both tunnels so neither seemed like a welcome option. Ari walked a brief distance down both, sniffing bizarrely in both directions.

"Let's go left. The other way smells funny…" she mused.

"Your basing your decision on how it smells?!" Ellana asked with disbelief and amusement.

"Well we can't see can we?" Ari replied confidently.

Following Ari's nose, they advanced down the left hand corridor. The mining equipment was more evident the further they walked, almost tripping them on several occasions. The tunnel eventually opened out to a great chamber. Wooden scaffolding rose against the stone walls with walkways and platforms allowing access to the ore within. The team fanned out to check the area but it yielded little.

"This must be the mine," Miris mused. "Looks like a dead-end."

"There's nothing remotely elven here. Maybe they got it wrong?" Lis added.

"We should go back, try the other way," Ellana ordered, unwilling to give up so quickly. "Sorry Ari, but you'll just have to power through the smell."

The young elf crinkled her nose as they back tracked to the crossroads and along the other passageway. As they eventually turned a corner, natural light came through gaps in the stone and bathed the walls in light. Age-old paintings were visible sporadically across the inner wall.

"That's more like it," Shivra remarked as they took a closer look.

They were faded with age but Ellana could still make out some of the details. The first depicted an island; white cliffs against a lashing sea. What looked like a white spire rose from the centre. The second depicted a figure. It was difficult to make out the finer details but it looked like an elf. The figure held forward an item – a golden vial filled with red. The third painting was the most faded. The centre was so damaged that it was impossible to identify but wings framed the edges; their form blotting out the sun behind.

"Do you think the red thing is what we're looking for?" Ari asked as she looked at the painting quizzically.

"Who knows? Apparently we elves are never fucking clear about anything," Shivra replied, clearly disinterested. She sighed in annoyance. "If we keep going then maybe we'll find out instead of all this guesswork!"

She was right of course but Ellana would have preferred some more time to study the drawings. It was rare to see such links to the ancient elves and she found it fascinating. Some of the others obviously shared her feelings but they needed to press on. She motioned reluctantly for them to continue.

As Shivra and Miris argued the merits of the ancient elves, they came to a doorway. Writing was etched on either side of the door in the elvhen tongue. It was sealed and had no obvious means to open it. However, the miners had clearly not appreciated this obstacle as a more recent tunnel stood to one side.

"What does it say?" Ellana asked, moving to get a closer look at the writings.

"Who cares? The miners clearly didn't," Shivra added, gesturing towards the tunnel.

Miris joined Ellana beneath the writing. Age-old dirt obstructed portions, fading the letters in to obscurity. Miris ran her hand across the surface, trying to feel for the words beneath.

"That part looks like 'Venavis' – stop. I can't make out this part…I guess that could be some derivative of 'Lin' – blood," Miris mused.

"Blood? That doesn't sound good. Do you think the tunnel gets past the door?" Lis asked hopefully.

"Can you understand anymore?" Ellana asked, turning to Miris.

"It must be instructions to get the door open. The first part is definitely a warning and I can only make out some of the rest – the path; blood; something about death; the elvhen people…maybe its blood of the elves? I don't know."

"If we even read it then I guess we have no other option; we try the tunnel and hope," Ellana replied.

Miris tried to argue, "If you give me more time then I'm sure I can…"

"We shouldn't dally. We try the tunnel first, if we need to then I'm sure you won't let us down," Ellana interrupted, hoping she didn't sound too dismissive.

The others had already started down the tunnel when Ellana turned away from Miris and joined them. The blonde elf looked back at the writing and sighed before following grudgingly. As they went on it quickly became evident that this door was far from unique. An opening to the side of their path led out to another door and even further on there was yet another. Both led out to their own chamber with yet more sealed doors. Miris looked out hopefully with each new development but each time Ellana shook her head; pressing them further on. As they proceeded beyond the final opening, darkness enveloped them once again and even with the torches, it was difficult to watch ones footing. Even for those without Ari's keen senses, the smell was becoming undeniable. A thudding sound and a loud swear was all that told Ellana that Lis had taken a tumble.

"Are you all right?" she asked, running carefully over to the sound.

"Yeah I'm fine," Lis replied. "What the fuck did I trip on?" she asked angrily as she felt around on the floor. Her hand fell on something hard.

Ellana brought her torch down to illuminate her friend and Lis looked down in horror to see bones beneath her hand.

"Shit!" she exclaimed, getting up with a start. "Shit, shit, shit!"

"Well now we know what happened to the miners!" Shivra added, amused by her friends ardent disgust.

The further they went the more frequent the piles of bone became. With each step the smell was becoming more overwhelming but they struggled carefully through. In the thick air, apprehension gripped them and Ellana was beginning to feel claustrophobia inching in to her awareness. Mercifully the tunnel came to an end; opening out in to another small chamber. Overtaking the back wall was yet another door and accompanying tunnel. Before the door sat a new addition – a stone pedestal with yet more writing. Another painting depicting the red vial adorned one of the walls. White wings were painted above the vial with red flowing between the two. More bones were strewn about the entrance of the side tunnel, making it a very unattractive option.

"What does this one say?" Ellana asked as she joined Miris by the pedestal.

"This one is clearer," Miris remarked, holding up a torch to get a clear view. "'Elven blood', 'path, 'open'…"

"Elven blood opens the path?" Ellana added. "They want elf blood?"

"Here, this indent. The writing above it says 'blood for blood' I think. It would make sense – a door that can only be opened by elves?" Miris pondered.

Ellana studied the pedestal more closely. It looked like it opened and Miris was right – there was a clear indent that drove within.

"It's worth a try," Ellana said, drawing a dagger.

"We could just go down the tunnel!" Ari added desperately.

"I'm not sure it's just the door. Looks like this opens too and maybe it contains something we'll need," Miris retorted.

"There is no way I'm going down another fucking tunnel!" Ellana added.

Ignoring the ongoing argument, Ellana drew her dagger across her palm. With a quick squeeze the blood flowed easily. She placed her hand across the indent allowing red droplets to fall within. After a nervous pause, the edges of the pedestal shone with blue light and the upper surface folded in on itself. With some unease Ellana reached inside and pulled something cold and hard from the darkness. As the item came loose sconces on either side of the door erupted with blue fire and the door opened. Ellana pulled her hand from the pedestal, now holding the elusive vial as her friends looked on in wonder.

"It's empty," she remarked in annoyance.

"We must have to fill it; with blood by the looks of things," Miris added, now examining the painting.

Ellana moved nervously towards the now open door. It looked like another chamber was beyond but the darkness veiled it in mystery. She moved further in, torch in hand. The smell was at its peak in this room and her friends seemed naturally reluctant to move along with her. As Ellana took a step closer she heard a rumbling sound within, a sound she couldn't identify. It was curious, both gentle and threatening in equal measures. Ellana's curiosity drove her further in to the darkness and with each step she took, the sound loudened. She inched beyond the threshold and in to the chamber but as she did the door slammed shut behind her. Fear overtook her senses as her friends shouted frantically from beyond.

"Ellana! Are you okay?! What the fuck happened?!" Shivra shouted the loudest.

"I'm fine," Ellana replied deceptively. "I can't get back through! Shit, shit shit!" she shouted, bashing desperately against the door.

"Wait there! We'll come through the tunnel!" Lis replied.

Ellana continued her tirade against the door, accidently dropping her torch in the process. Luckily the torch managed to stay lit so she could still see her surroundings. In her panic she hadn't noticed the rumbling sound had stopped. She gave up on the door, bashing it weakly one final time. She turned around to retrieve her torch but as she did she froze. Yellow eyes and white scales illuminated in the orange light was all she saw before the torch went out.

* * *

She dodged instinctively to the right. She could hear the air being cut by the blow she narrowly missed. She had no idea what she was dealing with and the darkness would only hamper her efforts. By the sound of the beast's movements, the all-enveloping gloom was not going to slow it down. She dashed away, carefully hugging the wall. She needed to keep track of where she was and, if luck would have it, find the way out. The beast was hot on her trail and snarling angrily. Narrowly dodging it again, she saw its eyes reflecting what little light there was. She had already seen its scales and judging by the size and spacing of the eyes it was either a dragonling or a wyvern. Neither was a comforting option as both had equally dangerous ranged attacks but at least if it was a dragonling she would get some light. She let out a desperate swipe with her daggers towards the yellow eyes and was pleasantly surprised to hear an angry squeal in return. She ran off again, hoping her pursuer would be delayed by its wounds. She made her way to the only source of light in the room – a sliver of daylight coming through the rocks. She pulled at them with all her might but they wouldn't budge. The sound of renewed snarling turned her from her task. Leaving it a bit too late, she dodged to the side again and the beast bashed against the cave wall. Smaller rocks fell from the surface and the walls shook with the force giving Ellana a much needed plan.

She dodged away again, purposefully moving herself back to stand in front of the sliver of light. The snarling followed and for the briefest of moments she saw the eyes before her, poised to strike. At the last second she dodged and the beast hit the wall with its full force. Rocks tumbled free and one hit her on the head, leaving her momentarily dazed. Once the haze had lifted she was thrilled to see the light that now cascaded in from the ruined wall. The beast was hunched over on the rocks, but recovering quickly. She could see now that it was stocky with the classic stunted wings of a wyvern. She moved out of the way as the wyvern charged and managed to land a quick blow to its back. It roared and turned to shower her with poison in reply. She managed to dodge away just in time but lost her footing on a nearby rock. As she fell to the ground she tried desperately to recover. Her wrist jarred painfully as she caught herself. She used her own momentum to bring herself back to her feet but it was much too late. The white wyvern had rounded on her and grabbed her leg before she could get away. She crashed to the ground and the beast dragged her in beneath its gaping jaws. It brought its teeth down to finish her and she met it with a dagger, plunging it deep in to the beasts lower jaw. The pain made it hesitate and she brought her second dagger up to meet the first. She pushed desperately against the beast with everything she had but her strength couldn't match the wyvern's. Its jaws inched closer to her face as it snarled triumphantly. She could feel her strength waning with each inch.

 _"This is it. This is how I die,"_ she thought, closing her eyes.

But in that moment the wyverns tone had changed. Eager snarls were now replaced by pained roars. She opened her eyes. An arrow was lodged in the side of the beasts skull. In its momentary distraction Ellana was able to use what little strength she had to push its jaws further from her. A stabbing sensation shot through Ellana's wrist as the beast pushed back with renewed vigour. A second arrow flew through the air, thudding in to place beside the first. The snowy wyvern gurgled uselessly above as it finally collapsed. Ellana allowed the beast to fall, unable to hold its weight any longer. Without the beasts roars she could finally hear her friends' shouts. Three of them scrambled to her side and pulled her free. It took Ellana a moment to find her feet; still shaking.

"Did it get you? Are you hurt?" Lis asked, checking her over.

"No, it didn't bite me. I think I'm okay," Ellana replied, thankful for her friend's concern.

"You're sure?" Shivra asked.

Ellana didn't hear her as she looked around for the only member of their team who wasn't crowded around her. Despite the darkness, she saw Areina a short distance away. She stood frozen, with her bow still drawn. Ellana left the others.

"You killed it?" Ellana asked once she reached Ari's side.

"I had no choice, it was going to kill you," Ari replied, trembling.

"Thank you," Ellana said as she wrapped her arms gratefully around her friend's neck. "You just saved my life."

"Ellana, I think we need to take its blood for the vial," Miris called over as she examined the wyvern beneath her.

Ellana released Ari from her grasp to attend to Miris. Lis took her place, thanking and comforting Ari like a mother hen. Ellana looked down at the slain beast. It was much larger than any wyvern she had previously fought and entirely white. She had seen a snowy wyvern before but only once; a testament to their rarity. Miris outstretched her hand and Ellana handed her the vial. The tall elf set about finding an appropriate place to cut the beast and extract its blood. Once she had finished her task she handed the vial back to Ellana. Ellana snapped its golden lid shut it and it illuminated with aquamarine light. As it dimmed, sconces around the room erupted with coloured flames. With the room now illuminated another painting was visible, much larger than those that had come before. The red vial lay in the forefront of the image with a great eluvian behind it. From the edges of the painted vial, the eluvian seemed to illuminate out to reveal its depths. Ellana gasped as she took a closer look at the painting.

"We did it," she whispered. "We found the key."

* * *

With Ellana fully recovered they had made their way back through the caves. She was exhausted and her arms still hurt from the effort but she couldn't be more thankful for her friends. The walk had been easy by comparison as, with the vial now in hand, the doors all opened and sconces lit as they went. Ellana took the time to properly thank Ari again. She didn't know how Ari managed to land two arrows in the darkness but she was just glad she had. The group was jovial as they neared the entrance, all relieved to finally see the light of day once again. Before they could reach their freedom Ari stopped abruptly making Shivra trip over her.

"What the hell, Ari?" Shivra shouted angrily.

"Do you smell that?" Ari asked, ignoring Shivra's annoyance.

"What? Fresh air?" Lis asked uselessly.

The others laughed but Ellana could tell by Ari's expression that she wasn't joking. She sniffed the air.

"Smoke," Ellana replied.

Ari nodded and the others stopped laughing. Ellana snuck forward and tried to peer out the entrance to no avail.

"It wasn't like that when we came in," Lis was saying as Ellana joined them again. "Do you think there are people out there?"

"There's no other way out," Miris added.

Her friends debated their options but Ellana remained silent. They all thought it was likely just a group of bandits but Ellana had a bad feeling, a feeling she couldn't shake. Ellana walked away from her friends to a nearby assortment of mining supplies. She settled on a barrel and opened it with some difficulty. She took the vial from her pack and placed it inside before closing it as Lis came to see what she was doing.

"We can't let them know we found anything. Just in case," Ellana said.

"You don't think it's bandits do you?" Lis asked suspiciously.

Ellana gave her a dreading look. Lis watched as she made for the entrance. The group stopped talking and followed dutifully behind. As they passed through it took a moment for Ellana's eyes to adjust to the daylight. Blurred by the harsh light but undeniably real was a large group of soldiers; definitely not bandits. With a heavy heart she recognised their armour immediately. At the back with the archers she saw a crop of familiar red hair.

* * *

 **A/N - Bad times... So, this chapter was actually supposed to be merged with the next one but it ended up being way too long so I cut it here. That means the next chapter is actually all written, you'll be relieved to hear. Although I should say it hasn't had any read-throughs and it's still fucking long so you'll have to bear with me while I do that, sorry.**


	14. Friends in High Places

**A/N - This chapter was a real bitch to write, hence why it took so long. So much damn dialogue! Add on top of that all the research I had to do to try and get the characters right and you've got a rough time. Fun though. Hopefully I've done the characters some semblance of justice but in the end I just had to go with my own interpretation. I realise now I probably should have re-played the game before I did this but it's a bit late for that now. Oh well. It's still a pretty long chapter, even with the prior chapter break, so get comfy and hopefully enjoy!**

* * *

Bows were drawn and raised in the elves' direction. Foot soldiers brought forth their weapons, ready to strike on command.

"Hold! Do not draw your weapons!" Ellana shouted to her friends.

They stopped mid-stream and brought their empty hands in to plain view. Ellana raised her own in submission. The soldiers did not react, keeping their weapons poised until told otherwise. The bob of red hair weaved amongst them, making its way to the forefront.

"We have no quarrel with you! Let us leave in peace!" Ellana shouted uselessly as her friends' fidgeted around her.

"You know that cannot happen, Inquisitor," said a familiar voice.

The words brought hesitation to the troops. Whispers led to the hopeful lowering of some weapons but nowhere near enough.

"Leliana…" Ellana said quietly as the red haired woman came out from behind her soldiers. "Leliana, I do not want bloodshed…"

"That is not my intention, unless you force my hand. I want answers not blood," Leliana replied coolly.

"There is nothing more I can give you!" Ellana shouted. She calmed herself before continuing, "If I answer your questions will you let us go?"

Leliana moved closer, too close for Ellana's liking. She couldn't tell what her intentions were. Leliana had always been difficult to read and their current situation only made it harder. On the one hand Leliana seemed relieved to see her after so long but on the other she seemed hurt, murderously so. Ellana's friends clearly got that same impression and their hands moved once again to their weapons. She raised a hand to stop them.

"It is good to see you so well," Leliana remarked all too calmly.

"Answer my question," Ellana interrupted.

"We have received information that you are now working as an agent of Fen'Harel and your present company," Leliana paused to look at the elves with disapproval, "suggests that information is correct? Yes?"

Ellana nodded defiantly in reply. She felt small, like a child being told off by an angry mother. Leliana knew she had the upper hand and she was using it.

"That's disappointing," Leliana replied, allowing her genuine hurt to show more than she would have liked. She turned away before continuing, "Then you're a very real danger to us all and I am bound to keep you from your task."

"Please Leliana, don't do this," Ellana said as a last ditch attempt.

The red haired woman turned back to face her former friend and stared her down without a reply. Ellana looked back at her friends.

"Let them go," Ellana said quietly before turning back to face Leliana. "You want me, not them. Let them leave here unharmed and I will go with you."

Leliana laughed derisively before replying, "You don't have a choice; you're outnumbered. You're companions are just as guilty as you and they deserve to face punishment."

"I do have a choice; I can choose to fight," Ellana defiantly added, making Leliana's expression darken. "That may well result in my death but I doubt the Divine would take too kindly to that particular outcome…" Ellana continued coolly.

Leliana's mouth hung open in response.

"Let them go and I will come with you peacefully. That is your primary goal is it not? My friends are incidental to you," Ellana added.

"And what is to stop them from coming back for you? I will not lose good men to this foolishness," Leliana replied, having regained her composure.

"That is a risk you have to take. Besides, you outnumber us, remember?" Ellana retorted.

Leliana glared at her while taking a moment to consider. From what Ellana knew of her, she was certain she was carefully calculating all the possible moves she could make and their outcomes. Ellana hoped, for all their sakes, that she had predicted her old friend's mind-set correctly.

Finally reaching what seemed to be a suitable conclusion, Leliana replied, "I have no desire to see you harmed, Ellana. I called you friend once; I do remember that even if you have forgotten. Your companions will be allowed to leave unharmed but you will submit to imprisonment. You will offer no resistance and will remain until the Inquisition sees fit."

"Agreed," Ellana replied with an affirming nod.

With a gesture from Leliana, the soldiers sprung in to action. Ellana turned quickly to her friends.

"You know what to do. Stay safe and don't worry about me," she said quietly before the soldiers reached her.

"Disarm," Leliana said as the soldiers stood ready.

"They leave first," Ellana replied with a gesture to her friends.

"Go," Leliana said with a sigh.

Ellana threw her weapons to the ground as her friends ran off in to the woods. Lis looked grudgingly back from the treeline before being dragged off by Shivra.

"Gods protect them," Ellana whispered as the guards shackled her wrists.

* * *

Skyhold was much the same as she had left it. It was all so pleasantly familiar even in the current circumstances. Many of her fondest memories had occurred in this place. There had been a time when this had been her home; the only place she felt truly safe but that had been a very long time ago. Even before she had left, the place had felt like a prison and now that was becoming a reality. They had travelled through the night to reach their destination. Leliana hadn't said another word to her the whole journey. The sun was slowly rising when they finally reached the foreboding gates. As she was led across the courtyard she was gawked at relentlessly. Residents and soldiers alike had no doubt heard tales of the Inquisitor's betrayal and the looks on their faces bore nothing but hatred and disgust as a result. Leliana took her arm, leading her on the familiar path to the dungeons.

Once they had entered she spoke, "I'm afraid you won't have many companions in the cells. We did have a selection of your agents from within the Inquisition but over time they all miraculously disappeared…your doing, I presume?"

Ellana didn't reply. She was distracted by the sight of Cullen at the end of the corridor. He came to meet them with a worried expression. Forgetting himself, he outstretched a hand to touch her shoulder in concern.

"Ellana! Are you all right? Unhurt?" he asked much to Leliana's annoyance.

"I am well, Cullen. No harm has come to me under the care of the Inquisition, you'll be glad to hear," Ellana replied.

"Good…good," he said, glaring at Leliana.

Her glare matched his as she remarked, "She is our prisoner, Commander."

Cullen removed his hand from Ellana's shoulder sheepishly and looked away from them both. They led Ellana to a cell away from the others.

"She came willingly?" Cullen asked as though Ellana was not present.

"Eventually… She bargained for the release of her fellow agents," Leliana replied.

"You let her soldiers go? So they're free to report back?" Cullen asked in an exasperated tone.

"I had little choice. It was that or risk harming her," Leliana replied.

Leliana only released Ellana from her grasp when they were safely inside the cell. Ellana broke away happily, putting as much distance between her and her captors as she could.

"Besides, they are only free for now," Leliana continued. "I fully intend to round them up and prevent them from causing problems."

Ellana smiled inside at her former friend's predictability.

"What?!" she shouted, feigning anger. "You gave me your word that they could leave!"

"And they did leave; entirely unharmed I might add. I never promised anything beyond that," Leliana replied, clearly amused with herself.

"You had better not harm them or so help me!" Ellana cried with some genuine feeling.

"I am surprised to hear you showing such concern for others. Friendship is not something you seem to hold with much esteem," Leliana replied bitterly. She let out an exasperated sigh. "We are not the villains here, Ellana. If you're people give themselves up then we will not harm them. But I can assure you, we will not allow our people to get hurt for the sake of yours."

Ellana turned away. She hoped Leliana would be true to her word and her friends would be unharmed but that didn't stop her from worrying.

Leliana turned to Cullen. "I need to make arrangements. Stay with her and keep your guard up," she ordered before leaving.

Ellana heard the cell door snap shut. She could feel Cullen's eyes on her.

"I'd like to rest; it's been a long day," she said hopefully.

When she turned back, Cullen was still standing staring at her.

"I'd like to rest alone if that's possible?" she asked again.

"So you can dream, or whatever you people do, and tell Solas where you are? Then what? He comes here and kills people until we let you go? Is that it?" Cullen asked angrily.

Ellana looked away, ashamed to hear it spelled out so bluntly.

"You must think me a complete fool," he continued, growing angrier with each word. "Did you think I wouldn't remember? Those times may have been so insignificant for you but they weren't for me."

"I'm sorry, Cullen," Ellana said as she moved closer to him. "I didn't mean… You're not a fool, nor would I ever think that. You may think I don't care but I do, more than you know! I wish...I wish things didn't have to be this way!"

"But they do, Ellana," he replied, placing his hands on her shoulders once again, "because of your choices. You threw all of this, and us, away when you chose him."

"It was never about him!" Ellana replied angrily. "Do you really think me so shallow? I did this for my people!"

Cullen broke away from her but despite the distance he never took his eyes away from hers.

"For you Ellana, it was always about him," Cullen added sadly before turning away.

* * *

A long silence had passed between Ellana and Cullen. He wouldn't look at her anymore, choosing instead to keep his attention focused on the doorway. Ellana couldn't stand his disdain any longer.

"Cullen, I'm sorry," she said quietly. "Not just for what is happening now but for everything."

"Don't!" he shouted, closing the distance between them. "Please, don't. You can say it all you want but sorry doesn't change anything. It's over, Ellana. You made your choice a long time ago."

The sound of nearby voices broke Cullen away from her.

"Well, what else am I supposed to do?!" Ellana exclaimed, ignoring the sounds from beyond the cell. "I just want to know that things will be okay; that you'll be okay!"

"Live your life, Ellana and I'll do the same," he said before the voices were upon them.

Leliana entered the cell first, closely followed by Josephine and Cassandra. Ellana was already upset and seeing her friends again brought tears dangerously close to welling.

"Did we interrupt?" Leliana asked as she looked between the two of them.

"No, we're done," Cullen replied firmly.

The look he gave Ellana filled her with painful regret.

"It really is you," Cassandra said as she stepped forward. "So it's true? It's all true…"

Ellana didn't say anything; she couldn't; Cassandra's pained expression said it all.

"But why? How could you just abandon everyone?" Cassandra continued.

"It was the right thing to do," Ellana replied as firmly as she could.

"The right thing to do?!" Cassandra shouted. "Destroying the world is not right! You gave up everything to save the world from Corypheas but now…"

"That was different! He was a maniac who would have enslaved us all! He wanted nothing more than power. I want a better world," Ellana replied.

"A better world for your people," Leliana added. "Never mind that it's at the expense of everyone else. Are you so blinded that you can't even see the parallels?"

"I am not blind," Ellana retorted, glaring at Leliana. "When I said 'it was the right thing to do' I was referring to leaving. Now more than ever, I am certain that was the right choice."

Looks of hurt swept the room.

"So you don't deny that what you seek to do is madness?" Leliana asked, having recovered the quickest.

"It is necessary," Ellana replied firmly. "We are left with no other real option. This world is broken. Those in power lord it over those they see as their lesser. We need to level the playing field."

"You're not going to level it; you mean to destroy it entirely. That is not the answer!" Cassandra cried.

"Not destroy, restore. It will be returned to how it was; how it was always supposed to be. Is it right? Maybe not. It's definitely not ideal but it's all we have," Ellana continued.

"You have lost your mind!" Cassandra shouted.

Ellana stared defiantly at her but was unwilling to argue the point further. She knew they would never understand no matter how loudly she shouted.

"This isn't you, Ellana," Josephine added sadly, tears welling in her eyes.

Josephine hadn't moved from the doorway. She kept her gaze focused on the floor. The sight of her in such sorrow tore at Ellana's heart. No one could deny that Josephine was a formidable woman but Ellana had always felt she had a childlike innocence about her. Seeing her hurt and knowing she was to blame was not a pleasant experience. Ellana shook off the feeling; there were much greater concerns at hand.

"What you may think of me doesn't matter; you should be far more concerned with our current situation," Ellana said as calmly as she could.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Cassandra asked angrily.

"Even if you do capture my friends, it is only a matter of time until someone finds out we're here. You need to let me go before that happens or it will not end well," Ellana replied.

"Is that a threat?!" Cassandra shouted.

"It is a reality. Let me go now or people will die. I don't think any of us want that," Ellana continued.

Cassandra was about to continue her berating when a sound from outside the cell interrupted. Leliana went out to meet the visitor, leaving the others in awkward silence. Ellana took the opportunity to survey her former friends. Cassandra still looked irate despite the distraction but Ellana expected little else. Cassandra had always been a very emotional woman despite her position. Cullen met Ellana's stare. She had expected him to look as angry as Cassandra but he just looked disappointed. He shook his head and turned away. His disappointment hurt more than any anger ever could. Cassandra sighed in frustration and Ellana feared the continuation of her tirade but before she could start Leliana returned in to view.

As she opened the barred doorway she spoke, "Our men have captured two of her soldiers. The other two are still at large but it's only a matter of time."

Before the others could respond, Ellana interrupted, "Are they hurt? Did your men attack them?"

"No, that wasn't necessary. Your people gave themselves up willingly. They will be brought here shortly," Leliana replied.

"Here? Can I see them?" Ellana asked hopefully.

Ellana had always trusted Leliana during her time with the Inquisition and she had never given any reason to question her. But now they were enemies and she knew exactly how Leliana treated her foes. Ellana doubted every word that came out of her mouth.

"What?! Of course not!" Leliana scoffed.

"You expect me to take you at your word? I need to see them!" Ellana added angrily.

"You do not have the right to make any demands here! Besides, you're one to talk about honesty!" Leliana shouted back, her cool attitude dissolving in to rage.

"Shut up, Leliana! You have no idea what you're talking about!" Ellana replied. "Is this what the Inquisition is now; imprisonment and lies? What are you going to do next? Torture us?"

Before she could react, Leliana closed the distance between them and slapped her square in the face.

"How dare you!" Leliana shouted.

"Enough!" Cassandra bellowed as she pulled Leliana back. "Take her out of here!" she shouted to the others.

Cullen led Leliana out the doorway without much resistance. Josephine followed behind, likely to comfort her friend. Only Cassandra remained and she did not look pleased.

"That was entirely uncalled for, provoking her like that. Enough of the games, Ellana," Cassandra said, sounding like a scolding mother.

It took a moment for Ellana to surrender her own fury before she relented, "I'm sorry. I know this isn't a game. It's painful for us all, including Leliana, and I know I shouldn't make things worse than they already are."

"But you're angry and I can understand why," Cassandra said in a surprisingly reasonable manner. "In spite of what we have to do, we do all still care and that… It hurts."

Ellana looked at the floor. She would have much preferred Cassandra had screamed at her. This was much harder to deal with.

"Why didn't you come to me? You could have told me all that time ago," Cassandra continued.

The hurt in Cassandra's voice made Ellana gulp before she sheepishly replied, "You wouldn't have understood. I didn't know what I wanted back then. I just had to get out of here. I knew how disappointed you would all be and I just couldn't face it. If I'd known what would happen…"

"So it wasn't your intention to join up with the elves? When they said you were with him, I thought the worst. I thought that was what you had wanted all along," Cassandra asked with some hope in her eyes.

"I had no idea what I wanted. It wasn't until later…and then I saw more and I…" Ellana trailed off. She knew her friend needed answers and she owed it to her to at least try and make her understand. She took a moment to compose herself before she continued, "I thought I knew what it was like to be an elf. In our travels together we saw more that made me question my own experience; made me see how narrow my own perception really was. But that wasn't enough; I was still more ignorant than I would like to admit. At first, I joined with a group of Solas's agents entirely by accident. It was never intentional and curiosity kept me there."

Cassandra looked visibly shocked by this revelation. Ellana paused as her friend wrestled with the desire to question but she ultimately remained silent.

"My time with them showed me more," Ellana continued. "I always knew this world was broken in places and not just for the elves but I didn't fully appreciate the injustices my people face on a daily basis. I was lucky growing up and throughout the rest of my life. I knew so little of my own peoples' suffering. I can't go back to who I was now."

"It is broken; I will not argue against that. There is so much injustice but that is why we must fight it! We can't just give up and start anew. That's not the right way!" Cassandra added desperately.

"There is no other choice. This world is lost, Cassandra. We can't fix this," Ellana replied sadly.

A commotion from outside the cell interrupted before Cassandra could reply. The sound of chains echoed through the outer chamber.

"Look, bitch, you don't need to push! I'm going as fast as I can!"

The echoing voice sounded a lot like Shivra and without thinking, Ellana ran past Cassandra. The cell door rattled as she reached it which made her friends turn her way.

"Ellana, what are you doing?!" Cassandra shouted angrily as she grabbed her by the shoulders.

Ellana ignored her as she was too thrilled by the sight of both Shivra and Miris alive and well. Shivra even threw her a cheeky salute as they were led away by guards on either side. Ellana allowed herself to be man-handled away from the door.

"You really thought we'd hurt them?" Cassandra thought aloud.

"Thank you. I didn't know what to expect. They're your enemy and you don't know them. Anything could have happened," Ellana said with genuine feeling. "They're my family now and I don't think I could bear if they got hurt because of me."

Cassandra said nothing but she couldn't hide the hurt and jealousy in her expression.

"I wish things could be different, Cassandra, I really do," Ellana said sadly. "You mean so much to me, even now. But in the end, it won't really matter I suppose…"

"It matters, Ellana. It won't end, I can't let it and nor should you. This world still has value and you know it," Cassandra said.

Ellana looked away. Cassandra was right, her life now was all she had ever wanted and she wished, more than anything, that she could find a way to save it.

"We can make this world a better place, Ellana. We can fight for it."

"We?" Ellana asked.

"We could help you; the Inquisition could help you," Cassandra replied.

"You…you would do that?" Ellana asked in disbelief. "This isn't you're fight; you have nothing to gain…"

"I may be human, Ellana but I am not blind," Cassandra replied, looking slightly annoyed by Ellana's low estimations of her. "I cannot deny the suffering of the elves and the world would be a better place without such suffering. It is a worthy cause even if it is not my own. We could work together; convince Solas to change his path as we always intended and fight as one to give your people a better life."

Ellana was touched by the gesture but a moment's thought was all it took to make her question the idea.

"Thank you but I fear you are one of the few," Ellana remarked sadly. "How many do you really think would follow that cause? You'd be asking humans to fight and perhaps die for a race that many of those same people see as lesser. Few would be willing to take on that burden. If more people thought to care about us then we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place."

"You're wrong! Andraste herself fought with the elves, along with many humans," Cassandra added desperately.

"That was not the same, Cassandra," Ellana replied gently. "Andraste's army fought their own war and it was mere coincidence that Shartan and his elves were already fighting the same enemy. We would be asking humans to war against themselves not a common enemy."

Cassandra was shaking her head but Ellana didn't let her argue.

"Even if we could somehow convince enough people and win the elves a future they deserve it would never last. If history has taught us anything it's that nothing ever lasts for the elves, not in this world. Someone always rises up to take what is ours. It would only be a matter of time before there was another 'Exalted March on the Dales' and history would repeat itself. My people can never prosper in this world; your kind will never allow it."

"You don't know that! How can you just give up all hope?!" Cassandra shouted.

"It's over, Cassandra. I'm sorry but you need to think about where we are now and stop clinging to the hope that you can change my mind. It's done and you need to focus on what happens now," Ellana mused. "You need to let us go, Cassandra. I've given you your answers…"

"You've given me nothing!" Cassandra shouted so loudly that it made Ellana jump. "I will not allow you to go through with this; not while I still breathe! Even if that means I have to keep you imprisoned, I won't allow it!"

"Don't be a fool, Cassandra! You need to let us all go now before it's too late!" Ellana cried in desperation. "You said yourself – we're enemies now! You can't keep me locked up here forever! Solas will know soon enough and what do you think he will do when you won't let me go?! I don't want that and neither should you! People shouldn't have to die because you're being stubborn!"

"If he tries then he'll face the might of the Inquisition!" Cassandra bellowed.

She could see now that her friend was too irate and much too proud to let go. Arguing more would achieve nothing but she hoped a more gentle approach might make her see the reality of their situation.

"Please, Cassandra. If you let us go now then you won't hear from us again. If we end up fighting in the future then so be it but please, no one has to die today; not for this."

"If you are certain this is the path you are taking then this is the path I must choose. You are a danger to us all and will remain our prisoner," Cassandra replied firmly.

Ellana closed her eyes in exasperation. She wanted to argue that she was far more of a danger being held captive but she didn't have the strength any more. Cassandra would be a lost cause now; much too stubborn to be convinced. If it came down to it then perhaps Solas might be able to make her see sense. Ellana was certain he would at least try.

* * *

Cassandra had tried to keep the argument going but Ellana gave her nothing in return. Faced with little more than silence, the Seeker left in frustration. Finally alone, Ellana lay on the moth-eaten bed for a time. Cullen entered the cell shortly after, no doubt to ensure Ellana didn't find an opportunity to sleep, but she ignored him and he seemed happy to do the same. There was no sign or sound of her now captive friends so she presumed they must be being housed elsewhere. She wondered if they had also been questioned but she didn't worry; she trusted them to keep silent. It had been so long since they had left the caves so she was more concerned about the state of her other teammates. While it was possible that they had somehow made a clean escape it seemed unlikely. The Inquisition would be much too thorough. With so much time having passed they must have managed to send out a message. Everyone back home would know of her imprisonment soon enough. She wished she could sleep. Her former friends' interrogations had been exhausting and she hated the waiting. Their notion that she would somehow communicate with Solas was a rather absurd one, in her opinion. He would have to also be sleeping in the middle of the day which, while not unheard of given his proclivity for the fade, was unlikely. Further, he would have to be actively looking for her which would be an unbelievable coincidence. The thought annoyed her but explaining the concept would certainly be wasted breath so she kept her thoughts to herself. Her mind drifted to Solas and how he would react when he found out about her current predicament. He was going to insist on dealing with it himself, she was certain of that. She hoped that it wouldn't end in violence. Despite all she knew of his skills, she still feared for him and she feared for her former friends. If blood was spilled on either side it would mean the end of everything they once had.

The sound of a door slamming open in the outer walkway distracted Ellana from her train of thought. Voices echoed through the newly opened door with the loudest catching Ellana's attention.

"Where is she? You said she was here, so tell me where she is! Vishante kaffas, do I need to spell it out for you?!"

Ellana sat up abruptly. With all that had happened she hadn't thought to ask after the rest of the Inner Circle. She presumed Cassandra would have told them about her betrayal and that had worn heavily on her mind but she didn't think to see any of them here. Cullen had already made his way to the door and proceeded out to meet the commotion. Ellana got up from the bed not sure if she was ready for another reunion.

"Cullen, finally! Where is everyone? All I could find was lacklustre recruits! Useless!"

Ellana could hear a vague mumble from Cullen down the hall.

"She _is_ here! Well lead the way!"

Cullen entered first and the welcome form of Dorian followed with suitable flourish. He didn't stop with Cullen, coming right over and taking hold of Ellana.

"My dear girl, what have they done to you? You look surprisingly well given the circumstances. Although I must say I'm not loving the black," he said, touching her hair. "The silver was much more eye-catching."

"Dorian…" was all Ellana could manage to say as tears welled in her eyes.

"Did you miss me?" he said with a cocky smile.

"She is our prisoner, Dorian," Cullen said in an annoyed tone.

"Oh yes, of course. Perish the thought that I would treat an old friend with courtesy. How silly of me," Dorian replied with a raised eyebrow.

Cullen, still visibly irritated by Dorian's apparent disinterest, went to reply but was cut off immediately.

"Would you be so kind as to leave us alone for a time? I fear we have much to discuss and little time to do it," Dorian said.

Cullen's expression suggested that this was the last thing he wanted to do but he relented and opened the door to leave.

"She is our prisoner, Dorian. Do not remove her shackles, do you hear?" Cullen said before leaving.

"Yes, yes. Dangerous prisoner and all that," Dorian replied sarcastically.

"I'll be down the hall when you're finished," Cullen added as he left.

Dorian sighed and turned back to Ellana.

"Finally! I thought he'd never leave!" he said.

"Dorian…" Ellana repeated uselessly.

"It's so good to see you, my friend," he whispered. He took her in a much needed embrace and she felt tears sliding down her face. "What have you gotten yourself in to now?"

"The usual!" she cried, trying to wipe away any evidence of tears from her cheeks.

Noticing the difficulty she was having due to her shackles he took her gently by the wrist.

"Here, let's get these off you," he said quietly.

She laughed. "No, I wouldn't want you to get in trouble on my account."

"I can handle Cullen. Besides, it's not like you're going to strike me down and run. You've not had a complete personality change have you?" he asked, laughing.

"Not so far but they make it sound like I have," Ellana remarked sadly.

"They're just upset," he said as he removed her shackles. "To be fair, you did just up and leave without a word. It wasn't exactly thrilling, I must say."

Once she was free she stretched for a moment before grabbing him in her own embrace.

"I missed you so much!" she said.

"I did tell you you would!" he replied jokingly.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you I was leaving," Ellana said quietly, not lessening her grip.

"Yes, you should have but I guess I can learn to forgive," he replied. "I'm sorry too. I never should have left. You clearly needed me and I…"

"No! Don't say that," Ellana exclaimed, pulling away so she could look at him. "There was nothing you could have said or done that would have changed what happened."

He shook his head; his expression suggesting he didn't believe her. He sat down on the bed and gestured for her to join him.

"So you found him?" he asked once she had sat down. "When they told me you had gone… I certainly wasn't expecting that."

"Neither was I," she replied with a laugh. "It just, sort of, happened…"

"Judging by how good you look I presume he's treating you well for a change?" he asked; clearly still bitter over his friend's past hurt.

"He is," Ellana replied with gentle smile. "We have our issues but who doesn't?"

"Tell me about it," Dorian added with a laugh. "Still sticking with the elven god thing?"

"Of course!" she said with a chuckle.

"You know, I still find it hard to imagine," he remarked.

Ellana looked at him with a doubting eyebrow raised.

"Yes, I know; I was there . I saw everything in those Eluvians but I still can't imagine it," he mused. "I guess he'll always be that apostate hobo to me."

Ellana nudged him good-humouredly in the ribs for his rudeness as she laughed. "He's not really changed much to be honest. Except the clothes; you'll be thrilled to hear they've evolved."

"Really?" Dorian asked disbelievingly.

"It's all armour now; annoying, fiddly armour," she remarked.

"I know that struggle all too well," he said with a knowing look.

"Are you still seeing Bull?" Ellana asked carefully.

"As much as we can. Nothing would make him happier than to follow me around all day like an enamoured puppy but it's just not possible," he mused with just a hint of melancholy.

"I'm pretty sure that would make you pretty happy too," Ellana added.

"You may be right…" he said sadly.

A silence passed between them. Ellana didn't know what to say. She knew so little about her friend's life now that she couldn't exactly offer any advice. The thought saddened her. Talking with Dorian had been a wonderful distraction but thinking about how much she had lost brought everything crashing back down. She ran her hands through her hair, trying to brush it off.

"Ellana, I…I need to ask you," Dorian started.

Ellana looked up at him, put off slightly by his serious tone.

"You said finding Solas 'just happened'; wasn't intentional and the others said you were working for him. Do you actually believe in what he's doing?"

She nodded in response. She didn't want to have to justify herself once again.

"You're certain? It's not just him and...you know...how you feel?" he asked carefully.

"What do you mean?" she asked, not liking what he was implying. "You think I'm just doing this for him?"

He sheepishly continued, "It wouldn't be the first time someone's judgement had been impaired by love…"

"No! It's nothing to do with that!" Ellana exclaimed more loudly than she had intended.

"It can't have _nothing_ to do with it. You can't honestly tell me that if it was someone entirely different pitching this idea that you would have jumped on board so willingly?" he asked.

Ellana had never looked at it that way before and she found herself irritated by the idea.

"Well I... I don't know! I can't know! But that doesn't mean I don't believe in it!" she exclaimed. Taking a moment to consider, she continued, "If it was someone else then maybe I wouldn't have seen all I have or even given it a chance. Maybe I would be on the other side but that doesn't change how things are now. I made this decision because of my own experiences and he is an intrinsic part of that experience. Without him, maybe things would be different but not for the right reasons."

Ellana looked hopefully at Dorian. She needed someone to see that she was still the same person and if anyone was going to accept her, it was him. He nodded, trying to hide his melancholy.

"Then I suppose you've made your choice. I may not agree with it but I have to respect your decision," he replied.

She smiled. She wanted to hug him again but it felt like the wrong time.

"Promise me one thing?" he asked, looking directly in to her eyes.

"What?" she asked suspiciously.

"Promise me you won't give up on us entirely," he said as he took her hand. "Promise me you'll look for any alternative; any glimmer of hope. And if you ever find anything, we'll make it work together."

"For you, it's a promise," she replied with a sad smile.

He tapped her hand in satisfaction and a silence passed between them. He sighed and lay back on the bed.

"I could really do with a drink," he mused.

"Tell me about it," Ellana replied, lying back on the bed beside him.

* * *

The sun had begun to set beyond the cell window. With the more thorny topics out of the way, Ellana and Dorian's conversation had progressed along a much easier path. Each filled in the other on what had been happening in their lives since they had parted. Ellana had a hard time avoiding difficult details but luckily Dorian was more than happy to keep the discussion focused mostly on himself. They had managed to go on without any interruptions which certainly made for a more pleasant atmosphere but it was starting to worry Ellana the more she thought about it. When an interruption finally came, Ellana wished she had made the effort to question the relative silence.

It began with a distant sound through the window; difficult to identify over Dorian's chatter. As it got closer it started to sound like a screeching animal. Closer still and it could be screaming. It faded out again as its source entered the keep; thick stone walls obstructing the sound. Ellana shushed Dorian as she heard it start up again, growing closer still. It was definitely screaming; she was certain. She got up from the bed to go to the door. Dorian mirrored her concern which only worried her more. Cullen was at the door before she reached it. He was ashen faced and would not look at her.

"Sit back down," he said with a slight tremble in his voice. Noticing her freed hands, he glared at Dorian.

Ellana's eyes widened and her brow furrowed at his expression but she didn't move. Fear rose in her chest as the sound loudened. The door at the end of the walkway finally bashed open and the sound hit her with its full enormity. A woman crying interspersed with unintelligible screams echoed through the hall. Ellana grabbed at the bars in desperation; trying to see the source of the screams.

"No! Don't take her away!" was all Ellana could make out.

Footsteps drew nearer and the screams became deafening. Reaching through the bars Ellana pushed Cullen aside at just the right moment. Across the chasm she could only see glimpses of blonde hair between the guards but she knew immediately that it was Lis. The blonde elf struggled against her captors as she wailed. Cullen had already recovered, trying to hold Ellana still through the bars. Dorian was beside her as well but he did nothing to help either party. Ignoring Cullen's efforts, Ellana screamed Lis's name at the top of her lungs. The wailing suddenly stopped.

"Ellana?! Ellana! They killed her! She's dead! They killed Ari!" Lis screamed.


	15. An End Has a Start

Ellana's legs gave out. Still restraining her, Cullen managed to keep her from falling. She was no longer aware of the world around her. She didn't notice Dorian taking over and guiding her gently to the ground. She didn't notice Cullen opening the door or him standing over her with angry tears threatening to fall. She had no tears, only shock and confusion. She sat in a crumpled heap; stalled in her grief. Dorian had not left her side but it hadn't stopped him from rounding on Cullen.

"How could you let this happen?!" Dorian shouted.

"I had nothing to do with it! I told them this would happen! Cullen cried as he paced back and forth.

"This can't be…" Ellana finally managed.

Cullen knelt beside her with eyes full of remorse, "I am so sorry, Ellana. I am so sorry."

"She can't be dead!" Ellana cried.

Cullen looked down in shame and Ellana knew then that it was true.

"No!" she whimpered, finally dissolving in to uncontrollable tears.

Dorian held her on the ground as she wept. Cullen got to his feet again; swearing and resuming his infuriated pacing.

"This can't be happening! They had orders to give up! She was just a child!" Ellana cried.

"How in the world did this happen?!" Dorian asked, his voice shaking with protective fury.

"The other one gave up but the girl…she had a raven and… They said they wanted to stop her," Cullen uttered.

"They killed her because of a fucking message?!" Dorian bellowed in disbelief. "Why not the raven?! Why not anything else?!"

"I don't know, I wasn't there! I wasn't there…" Cullen shouted.

Dorian was poised to shout again when Ellana's weak voice stopped him.

"This is all my fault…"

"Don't say that. You are blameless," Dorian replied softly. " _You_ weren't the one who killed her!" He glared at Cullen.

"I let this happen…I could have stopped this," Ellana uttered as fresh tears traced her cheek. "I… I need to see her. I need to know..."

Dorian looked up expectantly at Cullen, not dropping his glare.

"No, I can't," Cullen said, shaking his head. "She's in the keep. I can't take you there."

"You damn well will," Dorian scoffed. "If you don't then stand aside and watch me!"

"No, we…" Cullen said weakly.

"Yes we will. Now are you coming with us or will I have to knock you out first?" Dorian asked angrily. "At this point, I would be perfectly happy with either option."

Cullen ran his hands across his head and sighed in frustrated defeat.

"Can you stand?" Dorian asked Ellana softly.

"I…I think so," she replied, holding on to him for support as she stood.

Cullen got out in front of them as Ellana started to walk.

"I'll go first," he said, repentant eyes on Ellana. "We'll need to explain this as we go and," he stopped to look at Dorian, "she needs you."

* * *

The sun's rays were dimming on the ivory tower but a meeting was still underway on its uppermost level.

"I have never heard such a foolish suggestion! Our kind cannot walk through the Imperium without significant danger and I see no reason to take such drastic action!" remarked an aged elf from across the table.

"I never claimed it was without danger but time is of the essence. Our numbers grow with each passing day; we cannot go unnoticed for much longer," retorted a female elf.

"Liahra makes a valid point. Our only advantage is their ignorance and the invisibility that that brings; waiting too long could compromise that. The last thing we want is the Magisterium becoming aware of our actions," Varden added.

Even with their continual expectant glances, Solas said nothing. He tired of this argument. Increasing their presence in Tevinter as they proposed would only hasten their inevitable exposure and the associated dangers that would bring. Either way the Magisterium was going to eventually turn their attention towards them. Taking the time to plan accordingly would make little difference to that outcome. He had made his views clear during past repetitions of this discussion but yet the issue kept coming up. He wasn't about to waste his breath yet another time.

A knock at the door interrupted Varden mid-stride and he went to answer it. The others went on without him.

"Do we bore you so?" Liahra whispered to her leader, dark hair hiding her moving lips from the others.

"Your fixation on the doomed Imperium is what bores me," Solas replied.

She let out a laugh that interrupted the others and Solas took the opportunity to end this pointless discussion.

"Tevinter is not a concern until we have what we need. We must be in a state of complete readiness before we make our move. Until that time, operations in the region will continue as they are," he said firmly.

Mumbles of agreement swept the room, some more reluctant than others.

"Now who's the bore?" Liahra said with a yawn. "Do you ever just seize the day?"

"I try to avoid acting with such rashness. In the past it has not ended well for me," he said with a wry smile.

Varden re-entered the room and immediately came to stand at his leader's side. To an outside observer his expression gave little away but Solas knew him well enough to know when he was alarmed. He sent the others away as quickly as they would go.

"It's Ellana, isn't it?" Solas asked once they were alone.

He had considered what it might be as he awaited the departure of the others and Ellana seemed like the logical conclusion. There was little else Varden would hesitate to discuss in front of their comrades.

"We have reason to believe the Inquisition have taken her prisoner," Varden replied.

"Raven or word?" Solas asked. He could feel his fear rising but he needed facts before action.

"Raven. One of our own. We're still confirming if the handwriting is one of her agents but it seems genuine," Varden replied. "The note and the Raven bore scorch marks so it seems likely that it was sent with some resistance."

"When will you know for certain?" Solas questioned with rising concern.

"Shortly."

Solas nodded and Varden left immediately to confirm his suspicions. Solas paced the room like a caged animal as he waited, mind racing. He thought he had conquered fear but Ellana's return had brought it sneaking back in to his psyche. Now it was at fever pitch and he felt utterly lost in its depths. It wasn't long until Varden re-entered.

"It's the Dalish girl. Members of her clan confirmed it," Varden said.

Solas closed his eyes as his face contorted in rage. When he opened them they glowed dangerously and with an angry cry, the windows around them shattered. Varden didn't flinch. He spoke once his leader had recovered sense.

"I've already made preparations to send a team to retrieve them…"

"No. I will go alone," Solas interrupted, already moving.

"You are too valuable to risk. Allow the others…" Varden stopped, realising the futility of his argument. "At least allow them to accompany you."

Solas stopped in his tracks. "She is my responsibility and mine alone. If they seek to take what is mine then they will have to answer to me, not my men. I go alone," he irrevocably stated.

"As you wish," Varden replied reluctantly.

He watched regretfully as his leader left. He sighed. Staying hidden in the shadows was going to be quite the task if their leader kept setting things on fire.

* * *

Ellana had reached the heart of the keep through the grace of her protectors. Dorian had supported her the whole way and Cullen had acted true to his word; waving away those that aimed to question. As they reached the final corridor, Leliana's angry voice could be heard gaining on them. Cullen turned to Dorian with urgency in his eyes.

"Third door on the right; stay with her," He said before turning to hold off the tirade.

Ellana stumbled several times as her legs grew heavier; her dread building to a crescendo with each step along the fateful corridor. When they finally reached the open door her breath left her. Her face crumpled and tears streamed as she set eyes on the pale body of the Dalish girl.

"No…" she whispered.

But she did not fall, her legs willing her towards her lost friend. Dorian closed the door firmly behind them as Ellana moved, despairing hand outstretched, to her friend.

"Not like this," she lamented as she finally fell to her knees at the bedside.

She caught its edge just in time; back hunched, eyes streaming. She touched Areina's gentle face only to find it stone cold. She screamed in pain. Everything around her was lost to grief. Rage built in her chest. Dorian could only stand and watch as she hunched over in despair.

With no more left to give, her sense returned and with it regret. Areina looked so much smaller now, so much less than she was. Memories of her laugh echoed through Ellana's mind as she ran a hand through her mousey hair.

"You didn't deserve this; not for me. Twice now, I owe you everything and now... Now I can never repay you. You didn't even get a chance to truly live…all because of me," Ellana whispered before descending in to sobs.

"It wasn't your fault, Ellana," Dorian uttered quietly.

Ellana turned to him, shaken by the sudden awareness of his presence.

"It is," she replied sadly. "I could have prevented this. I knew they would find us eventually and I did nothing to stop it. I was more concerned about what I wanted...what I felt I needed..."

She looked at Areina which made fresh tears descend.

"I've failed them and I can never take that back," she lamented.

She crumpled beneath the weight of it all. Dorian knelt beside her not knowing what he could possibly say to make this right. He placed a hesitant hand on her back in what he hoped would be a comforting gesture. Ellana looked up at him thankfully but her eyes quickly darkened.

"But you… You need to go," she said weakly.

"What? I can't leave you here alone, Ellana…" he replied carefully. He didn't want to upset her but they were already acting on borrowed grace and he was sure that Cullen would not allow her to be left unattended, even now.

"No, not here; not this room. You need to leave Skyhold entirely," she clarified. "I can't lose you too."

"What are you talking about? You can't think I would just leave you like this? I won't! I won't make that mistake again!" he replied.

She didn't look at him; focusing entirely on the body lain in front of them. She knew what she had to do. It would hurt him but she had to try.

"You will," she eventually replied.

She used a hand to help her to her feet. Movement took her to gaze thoughtfully through a nearby window. She took a long breath and as the air left her lungs, what little feeling she had left went with it. Dorian got himself up to challenge her again but she gave him no chance.

"I hope you are here for me, Dorian, I truly do. But yet, you still stand undeniably on the other side. You are accepted as one of them," Ellana said before he could start. "She was innocent," she gestured to Areina's lifeless body, "little more than a child and they struck her down like a dog. As of this moment I do not see you as party to any of this but that can change; that depends on your actions. You're a Magister now, born and bred. You are one of them and staying by their side only proves that."

Dorian looked perplexed and uttered questioningly but Ellana continued over him.

"Solas is going to come for me; maybe not this day but he will. When he does, he will take the life of any man who stands against him." She paused for a moment and turned to face him. Her face was disturbingly expressionless. "If you stay that makes you part of this. If you stay, I will never forgive you. If you stay, I will not stop him from taking your life too."

Her cold words ripped through him like an arrow. Seemingly unconcerned, Ellana shifted back to kneel beside the bed. He stuttered disbelievingly but she cut him off.

"There is nothing more to say," she remarked coldly. "Go now!"

She got what she wanted and he stumbled out through the door with shock written all over his face. As he left, a single tear fell from her cheek on to Areina's lifeless hand.

* * *

"What did you do to him?" Cullen asked once he had closed the door behind him.

Ellana refused to look at him.

"I said what he needed to hear. Nothing more," she replied coldly.

"We needed him," Cullen mused quietly.

"Not him; not for you," Ellana added with a hint of anger.

From behind she heard the sound of the door clicking open followed by a desolate gasp.

"This wasn't supposed to happen," said Cassandra's lost voice. "I am so sorry, Ellana…"

"What is this?! A zoo?! Come, one and all to view the dead elf! Bask in the glory of what the Inquisition has become!" Ellana shouted angrily.

"I didn't come here to gloat, Ellana. I came for you," Cassandra replied unamusedly.

"Oh no you didn't," Ellana replied, getting ever closer to Cassandra. "You came here for you! Feeling guilty are we? Well you should be! Is murdering innocents what you do now?"

"Innocent?!" Cassandra let out with immediate regret.

"Do not say another word," Ellana ordered threateningly.

"Ellana, I couldn't…" Cassandra tried.

"What did I just say?!" Ellana bellowed as she rose angrily to her feet. She regained her composure as she grew closer to Cassandra. "Don't even try to justify what you have done."

"Ellana, please…please try to understand," Cassandra continued appeasingly.

"No I will not!" Ellana cried, coming so close to Cassandra that she took a step back. "It should have been me!"

She grabbed at her, shaking her desperately. Cassandra took the abuse willingly.

"But you can't, can you? Even after all I've done. It's over, Cassandra! It's over," she shouted in despair. "You should kill me while you still have the chance."

Cassandra couldn't take anymore and with a tear tracing her cheek she pushed her away. Ellana fell to the floor in a heap.

"Is it bright up on your pedestal?" Ellana said coldly from the floor. "Because down here there is only darkness. I had hope, hope we could all come out of this. But that hope died out there in the snow with my friend. With her death, the gates are open. More will die and now I hope for that; I hope for death. We could have got out of this without hurt, without pain but now there will be no mercy. Blood for blood, Cassandra…blood for blood."

"I didn't ask for this. It wasn't me who killed your friend," Cassandra replied desperately.

"Then if you won't take the responsibility then whose is it?!" Ellana yelled. "Give me a name, Cassandra! Give me a name and my freedom and this can all be over."

Cassandra looked at her despairingly. "I cannot do that Ellana," she replied.

"Then go. Just go," Ellana hissed.

* * *

Night was falling on the snow covered mountains as Ellana sat in the relative silence. Cullen had unexpectedly left the room which allowed Ellana to be alone with her loss. He returned a short while later and something in the sound of his gait caught her attention. She got up and came to face him. Her face was still wet from tears but any semblance of emotion was absent from her expression. The look she saw in his eyes gave her pause. Sadness and anger were no longer dominant; fear clouded his eyes. She could think of only one thing worthy of such fear.

"Your scouts have seen him haven't they? The Dread Wolf is coming for us," she said blankly.

Cullen didn't respond but his obvious discomfort told her everything she needed to know.

"There can be no coming back from this now; you know that as well as I do. The others know it too and hide away like cowards," she continued. "But you can still save them. Each of you has the chance to stop this before more blood is shed. Take that chance or your men are as good as dead."

Without another word she left him dumbstruck to resume her position at the side of the bed.

* * *

The journey had been cumbersome with the snowfall and the waning light. Solas was well aware that he had been seen but he was uncaring; he wanted them to know he was coming. Fear could be a powerful tool; one he hoped would keep him from having to use the rest of his talents.

In the darkness Skyhold stood as a beacon of light. The surrounding snow glowed orange in its shadow which gave it a kind of surreal beauty. The unnatural ring of bells echoed against the mountains but beyond the alarm, he was not challenged as he crossed the great bridge. As he neared, numerous eyes flashed threateningly across the battlements.

"Stop where you are!" came a shout from the centre. Cassandra stood proudly above the gate flanked by her men. "Solas, you should not have come."

"Divine Victoria…how I wish we could have avoided meeting again," he replied, stopping as she had asked.

"Then I suggest you leave," she retorted, voice rising a telling amount.

"Not without my people. You have them do you not? Or am I to presume you greet all guests with such fanfare? Solas replied derisively. "Release them and this need not escalate in to unpleasantness."

"That will not happen. Make any attempts to enter and we will not hesitate to attack you," she exclaimed, her tone rising still.

"You may try," he replied assuredly.

* * *

Ellana had not moved from her fallen friend's side. The sun was long gone and darkness enveloped the room. Cullen had remained thankfully silent. He departed periodically and during these times Ellana allowed herself to collapse beneath her despair. She went over and over what had transpired and still felt lost in her failures. She heard the bells chiming through the night air and knew what it meant but she didn't react. To her it was already over.

Cullen came back in to the room and to her surprise came to her side.

"You're wanted in the courtyard," he said.

With a hand under her arm he pulled her to her feet. She did nothing to resist him. He shackled her hands once more and led her out through the keep. As Cullen escorted her down the stone staircase the cold air buzzed with the whispers of the gathered soldiers. Ellana was relieved to see the backs of her friends restrained between them. Beyond the soldier's mutters she could hear Cassandra shouting in the distance and the welcome sound of Solas's measured replies. Cullen led her towards her friends; beside the short wall at the edge of the courtyard. From its height she could see the lower courtyard and the throng of soldiers that filled it. She didn't speak when she reached her friends and neither did they. She could see that they had not been physically harmed and that was enough for now. With their commander now present, the nearby soldiers had fallen silent which allowed Ellana to hear what was being said beyond the battlements.

"Your word is no longer one I can trust. I need to be certain they are all safe," she heard Solas say.

"When has the safety of anyone ever been your concern? She will be safer here than she ever was with you!" Cassandra replied angrily.

Ellana's face darkened.

" _He doesn't know,_ " she thought.

"Perhaps you are right but I doubt she is willing to sacrifice her freedom for your kind of safety," Solas retorted. "Enough games, Cassandra. Unless I see them our discussion is over."

Cassandra sounded livid, "You can't make demands here! We will not allow you to…"

"We?" Solas scoffed. "You mean your soldiers. They are the ones who will fight and die for your folly. I have no desire to harm them without cause. They took nothing from me."

Ellana was overcome by building fury. She pulled herself free from Cullen before he could react.

"Areina is dead! They killed her!" she shouted as loudly and clearly as she could before Cullen seized her.

The grief in her tone reverberated off the stone long after the sound had gone. The buzz had evaporated from the courtyard and in the silence one could hear the wind flowing through the mountains. A hawk cried overhead. A lone wolf howled mournfully in the distance.

"This is the last chance I will give you. Return her to me now or I will take her by any means necessary," Solas finally said, with protective wrath punctuating each word.

"I cannot do that, Solas…" Cassandra replied with what surprisingly sounded like remorse.

"Then so be it," Solas said finally; his mournful tone not lost on those in the distance.

Ellana felt Cullen tense against her back. His grip tightened as the world around them descended in to chaos.

"Fire at will!" Cassandra shouted from the battlements.

Ellana wished she could see what was happening. Arrows flew but seemed to have no effect. Cassandra appeared on the other side of the battlements looking shaken and addressed the apprehensive troops below.

"Stand ready!"

"You can still stop this," Ellana said quietly to Cullen. "The others have made their choice but you do not have to follow them blindly. Do nothing and your men will die…"

Her words were drowned out by a monumental boom as a great force struck the gate. The walls that surrounded it shook and cracked and those above struggled to keep their footing.

"You killed one of ours and for that your men will have to suffer," Ellana continued. "A good commander knows when to relent…"

A second blow sent deep fissures tearing through the stone as the metal portcullis was forced inward. Ellana could almost feel the trembling of the troops below.

"Now is that time," she went on. "Take your chance."

With a glance Ellana could see the indecision and doubt tearing at the Commander but it was already too late. With a third bang the walls around the gate fractured and the gate fell free. The men nearest scattered as the gate crashed and rattled to the ground. Solas entered shortly after, eyes glowing in the darkness. Ellana advanced forward at the sight of him and held her breath.

At first none of the soldiers that surrounded him seemed willing to close the distance but once the lone elf was fully encircled their courage returned. They advanced on him from all sides, oblivious to the building energy that crackled through the air and the fate it secured for them.

"Forgive me," Solas said as the soldiers reached the point of no return.

A shockwave rippled through the air so strong that its effects were felt even at Ellana's distance. Soldiers were thrown in all directions but those nearest to their foe stood unaffected. A second, far worse fate awaited them. Thin beads of light passed from the mage and in to them. Every visible orifice lit up as flames erupted from within. Their screams of pain as they burned enveloped those that remained. Solas stood still amongst the screams, glowing eyes closed in lamentation. Scores of the remaining soldiers cowered at the sight but the braver ones readied themselves for another senseless advance.

"Stop this madness!" Cullen shouted from Ellana's side.

Solas looked up at them before advancing beyond the dying. The soldiers that had recovered from the shockwave backed away fearfully as he ascended the ramp to the upper level.

"That is enough!" Cullen cried as Solas rounded the corner. Cullen grabbed Ellana again. "Take her! Take her and go!"

Using his grip on her for leverage, Ellana slipped a hand free of her shackles and pulled away from Cullen. A yell sounded in the distance but Ellana was too overcome to hear it. She wrapped her arms around Solas's neck in relief as she reached him but he pushed her away almost immediately. His eyes glowed again and as she turned to follow his gaze she saw why. Arrows descended from the battlements. Solas raised a hand and they burst in to flame; hitting their targets as harmless ash. He turned to Cullen with a dangerous glare.

"Stand down!" Cullen yelled across the keep. "I am your Commander and I order you all to stand down!"

Satisfied that the threat had ended, Solas spoke, "Release the others and return their weapons."

"Do as he says," Cullen ordered the surrounding guards.

"Areina… We can't leave her here." Ellana said quietly as she fought to hold back tears.

Solas looked down at her and sadness clouded his eyes. He turned to Cullen.

"The girl… Return her to us so she can be amongst her people," he demanded.

"Of course," Cullen replied remorsefully, looking at Ellana.

He gestured to another nervous soldier who happily ran for the keep. Ellana's now freed friends came to stand with her. They shared glances but were distracted as the guard descended the staircase carrying their lost friend. Cullen met him before he reached the crowd of elves and took Ari from him. As her lifeless body came in to view they all lost their composure. Shivra let out an angry cry; hot tears falling from her eyes. Miris went to comfort her, holding her away from the others and Lis joined them to sob. Ellana covered her mouth with a hand and tears rolled gracefully down her cheeks. Only Solas remained calm. He held Ellana until Cullen reached them; taking Areina gently from him.

"See to it that no one is foolish enough to follow us," Solas said threateningly.

Cullen nodded in defeat and they left without another word. The remaining soldiers kept a respectful distance as they descended through the keep. Ellana looked back as they crossed the bridge into the night. Cassandra still stood atop the battlements. Ellana expected her to shout or at least hurl some abuse but her silence spoke volumes. Whatever they once had was now over.

* * *

 **A/N - So yeah...sorry... Poor Ari. Did anyone see it coming? When I first imagined all this I knew Ellana had her own team but at first they were little more than faceless placeholders. It didn't interest me at the time and the story was just for me so the details weren't really important. Ari was the first. She was the first one to form in to a real person. Poor thing. Never had a chance.**

 **Anyway, on to this chapter. I required a lot of music to imagine it all. The beginning segment of "Arcanine" by Ursine Vulpine (again) strongly inspired Ellana's walk down the corridor and first sight of Ari. Made me cry a lot which was useful. Solas fucking shit up was pretty much entirely choreographed to the song "Heart of Courage" by Two Steps From Hell. Love me some Two Steps From Hell. Epic as fuck. Not sure if this actually interests anyone but I guess it gives an insight in to where this comes from. If anything, it might help you see the scenes as I imagined them rather than relying solely on my inept writing. Plus give credit where credit is due and all that. There were others but then this note would be longer than the actual chapter so...yeah...  
**


	16. From the Ashes

They passed through the Eluvian in complete silence. Seeing their home once again brought little comfort. Varden waited patiently on the other side and to Ellana's surprise he was accompanied by a tearful Mirwen and another Dalish elf. The sight of Areina's body crumpled Varden's normally composed expression. Mirwen and the other elf came forward to take Areina from them.

"Oh my dear girl," Mirwen whimpered as Ari's body changed hands.

Lis piped up as they left.

"Where are they taking her?" she asked with a panicked tone.

"To her clan. They deserve a chance to mourn," Solas replied. He turned to Varden with a questioning look. "How did they… "

Ellana couldn't hear the rest as Lis interrupted, "Then we should go too! She shouldn't be alone…"

"And she won't be," Ellana added. "She will be amongst her family. We should give them some time."

Lis still looked hesitant.

"We could follow; keep our distance. That way they can have some time while we remain close," Ellana compromised.

Her friends started towards the door. Ellana looked back at Solas.

"You go on ahead. I need a minute," he said as calmly as he could.

Ellana followed her friends out and with her gone, Solas let go of his composure. He leaned against the stone wall as his strength evaporated beneath the weight of his regret.

"Whatever you did they deserved," Varden remarked quietly from nearby.

"No, not this time," Solas replied sadly.

"They killed one of our own," Varden added.

"So I killed many of theirs and they'll kill even more of ours and the cycle goes on," Solas lamented. "But where does it end?"

"When this world is gone and born anew, I would presume," Varden replied matter-of-factly.

* * *

"I can't believe she's gone," Shivra said, breaking the silence as they walked. "She didn't deserve to go like that…"

Ellana could feel tears forming in her eyes again. Lis stopped walking and let out a loud sob. Ellana went over to comfort her.

"She was so young, so naive!" Lis sobbed. "I screamed at her, told her to stop but she wouldn't! She wanted to save you!"

Not noticing Solas had caught up to them, Ellana lost all control. "No! Don't blame yourself! This is all my fault!" she cried.

In response to Ellana's cry, he took her side.

"No, vhenan. The fault lies with the one that killed her," he said, looking expectantly at Lis but she didn't take the hint. He tried a more blunt approach, "Tell me; what actually happened to her?"

Lis shifted apprehensively. She didn't want to relive it, not so soon. Eventually she found her strength.

"We were waiting and the raven came. We were ready and… They came out of nowhere!" Lis uttered, her tempo growing more rapid with each word. "This woman…she told us to drop our weapons and we did but when she told Ari to give her the bird, she wouldn't do it! That woman threatened she'd burn her to ash and I screamed at Ari but she wouldn't listen! She sent off the bird and the woman just lost it. She could have hit the bird but she didn't even try! She didn't even try, Ellana!" Lis wailed.

Ellana's face contorted in rage. "Who? Who was it? Tell me!"

"I don't know!" Lis shouted.

"Burn to ash…" Solas thought aloud. His brow furrowed as he remembered the scorch marks that the note and raven had apparently suffered. "This woman was a mage?"

Lis nodded through another sob before continuing, "She threw fire at her but it was a thunderbolt that…"

She broke down, unable to continue but Ellana wasn't willing to give up.

"Do you remember anything else about her?" Ellana asked frantically.

"Her armour was different from the rest. She didn't look like one of the Inquisition people. She was very different too," Lis said through sobs as she tried to remember. "Like a superior…"

Ellana nodded her along as she spoke while trying to hide her disappointment. None of what Lis had said was helping her. She felt Solas's hand on her shoulder and the tension in it made her look up at him. His is eyes were wide; terrible recognition written across his face but Ellana couldn't understand why.

"She kept calling me 'my dear', even after what she did to Ari," Lis continued angrily. "Like pleasantries would somehow make up for what she…"

Ellana took a sharp intake of breath and Solas walked away, head in his hands. Lis stopped talking and they all looked on in confusion.

"It can't be; she wouldn't!" Ellana exclaimed having finally put it all together.

Solas stormed back, his anger making Ellana's companions take a fearful step back.

"This is Vivienne we are talking about. Do you really believe she would think twice about crushing some insignificant elf that chose to vex her?" he snapped.

"You may have had your differences but you didn't know her like I did. It can't have been her. It must be someone else," Ellana retorted desperately.

"I knew her well enough," he replied angrily. He turned to Lis recoiled slightly at his attention. "Dark skin, exotic features, likely wearing robes of the finest silk?"

Lis looked nervously at Ellana before reluctantly nodding in response. With that Solas walked away again, cursing under his breath.

"You know this woman?" Miris asked.

"Yes… If it's even her! She had no reason to be there! It can't have been her!" Ellana responded, still struggling.

"Then you know where to find her?" Miris asked coolly.

"I suppose so…" Ellana replied with suspicion.

"Good…good…" Miris mused, tapping Shivra on the back.

Although Miris spoke without any clear hint of anger, Ellana was rightfully sceptical.

"No. We are not going after her! Not until we know for sure," she said as firmly as she could.

"And let her get away! That's bullshit!" Shivra shouted. She stopped short of continuing with her angry remarks when she realised Solas had returned to the fray.

"What better way to determine her guilt than to ask directly?" he remarked.

"You're agreeing with this?" Ellana asked disbelievingly.

"I am agreeing that we should seek the truth. What you do with that truth, is up to you," he said.

"And storming in on her is the answer? No! There must be another way to get the truth before we do anything drastic," Ellana added.

Her friends, each in their own way appeared disappointed by her response but she didn't expect them to understand. They needed vengeance and she had to admit, before any mention of Vivienne she had felt exactly the same way. She fully believed Lis's version of events and it certainly sounded like Vivienne but that conclusion had to be wrong. While it was undeniable that Solas's dislike of the woman was founded in some truths, Ellana still couldn't believe that she would do this. Furthermore she couldn't help but question why she would even have been there in the first place. Certainly not without her knowledge.

"Hmmm… Perhaps you're right. Maybe there is another way," Solas pondered.

"You have an idea?" Ellana asked hopefully.

"Maybe…" he replied, walking away thoughtfully to explore the idea. He stopped suddenly and turned back to her. "You should prepare yourself for the worst, Ellana. The truth is seldom kind."

* * *

Ellana and her friends entered Mirwen's tent to an appropriately sombre atmosphere. Their lost friend lay in the centre surrounded by mementos from the forest; the place she had loved most. Candles were dappled about the room. Their lights flickered off her cold skin and for the briefest of moments they gave the cruel illusion of life. Members of her clan stood around her in mourning. Ellana kept back at the entrance while her friends went to join the others. They hadn't spent time with her like Ellana had and she wanted to make sure they had their chance. Watching them brought the pain back again and when she couldn't take it any longer she ducked out of the tent. Mirwen joined her outside.

"I'm sorry," she said much to Ellana's surprise.

"You're sorry? No, this was my failure. I am the one who is sorry," Ellana replied sadly.

"Those that took her life are to blame, not you. You couldn't have known… You didn't ask for this," Mirwen mused sadly.

Ellana was touched by her understanding and acceptance but something in what she said gave her pause. The first part seemed to be the stock answer for this situation so that gave no disturbance and she was right that Ellana didn't ask for this nor could she have predicted it. The sudden thought of predication sent Ellana's mind racing.

"You were there when we returned… We never sent word…no one knew what had transpired but us…" Ellana thought aloud.

Tears rolled down Mirwen's cheeks and she closed her eyes in anticipation.

"You knew! You saw it or whatever you do…you saw it and you knew it was going to happen!" Ellana exclaimed.

Mirwen nodded sadly, choking back tears, "I did."

"You knew and you did nothing!" Ellana yelled, shaking the Keeper by the shoulders. "She was like a daughter to you! You could have saved her!"

"There was no other way! This was her fate!" Mirwen exclaimed.

"Her fate?! Snuffed out before you've even had a chance!" Ellana cried.

"She died for a purpose. With her death you will become so much more; what you must be," Mirwen retorted. "Pain moulds who we are, shapes us in to our future selves. Without it we can't become more than what we are. I could have stopped it and that thought destroys me but it would have been wrong. She chose this path!"

"Shut up! I don't care about your bullshit!" Ellana yelled. "If you could have prevented this then you are a monster for not trying. I don't care about your reasons or your stupid prophecies. Fuck you! Fuck all of this!"

She fixed the Keeper with a furious glare before storming away from their exchange. Her legs carried her to the forest where she crumpled to the floor. She hunched over, face in the dirt as she screamed; tears melding with the ground beneath.

* * *

Ellana made determinedly for the tower but the walk was agonising. Quiet mutters followed her wherever she went. Those with more bravery offered her condolences which she took with as much courtesy as she could muster. During a particularly lengthy exchange she looked up at the tower. Solas stood on the balcony watching her from above. She couldn't explain it but something about his stare troubled her. When she finally escaped her peoples' pity and reached the top level of the tower he hadn't come to meet her as he usually did. She went through to find him still out on the balcony. He didn't turn to meet her.

"Solas are you…" she started, getting worried. Even with her words he hadn't moved from his position. "Is everything alright?"

Immediately after she had said it she wished she hadn't. It was a stupid question, given what had just transpired. He kept silent for what felt like an age.

"I killed an innumerable amount of people today," he finally said. His voice was unnervingly even.

"I'm sorry. If there had been any other way," Ellana stuttered in response.

He finally turned, continuing like he hadn't heard her, "And when all was said and done I killed without any real hesitation."

"I didn't mean for it to go that far. You tried to make them see sense," she said. He was slowly advancing and the glint in his eyes was starting to disturb her. "You tried…"

"No…not nearly enough," he replied as he reached her. "But that's not even the worst part." His hand went to her throat as the desperation in his eyes peaked. "To get to you, vhenan, I would have slaughtered all of them without any hesitation. Every last one."

"Solas, you're scaring me," Ellana said feebly, shaking beneath him.

Regaining some semblance of control he released his grip on her throat but his intensity did not diminish.

"You should be. Today has shown me that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you; nothing I wouldn't take," he continued. "I can be a monster if that's what's needed and that thought scares me more than I ever imagined."

He looked away, ashamed but Ellana turned his cheek gently back to face her.

"Protecting those you love are not the actions of a monster," she said with conviction. "But you still should never have had to do what you did. You shouldn't have to protect me. I shouldn't be the one making you weak."

"Not weak," he said as he left her side. "The exact opposite in fact. But that…"

"Is not who you want to be," Ellana interjected.

A look and silence passed between them. As time went on, the look in his eyes softened. Ellana no longer felt afraid but she wondered more than ever what would become of them on this path. Neither were the people they had been all those years ago. So much had changed and with it, they had too. With more yet to come she feared what they would be by the end.

"I'm sorry about your friend," Solas eventually said as he came back over to her side. "She didn't deserve that end and I wish there was something I could have done to prevent it."

"Thank you," she replied. "While you may not have been able to save her, know that the rest of us all owe you our lives. You did save us."

He put his arms around her and she sank in to him.

"I can't possibly understand the pain you are feeling, vhenan, but if there's anything I can do, know that I will always be here," he said.

"I know," Ellana replied in a muffled voice.

* * *

Throughout the morning Ellana had managed to avoid speaking with Mirwen again. It was a small mercy but even with that peace she still felt lost. Solas hadn't really said anything when she had told him about the Keeper's knowledge. It was probably a wise decision as even she couldn't think of anything he could have said that would have made her feel better. Plans for Areina's burial were at the forefront of most people's mind but that only brought yet more conflict. The Dalish were set on returning her to the earth as their tradition dictates but Solas was against the idea. Their home was far from a normal realm. It existed with its own rules and limitations which made burial an unwelcome option. Burning was the established method but that was not in keeping with the Dalish tradition. Many of the Dalish seemed unwilling to bend on the issue. Those that felt strongly demanded leave to undertake the rights in the outside world but that suggestion was also argued. Solas wanted to keep whomever he could here until the storm of their actions died down. He was reluctant to allow them to face potential danger for the sake of tradition and Ellana was inclined to agree with him. Ari was dead and whatever they did now was not going to change that. Her friends took a similar view but they all agreed that if the Dalish did go then they would go with them. They weren't about to let Ari take her final journey without them.

"Am I being too harsh? If that's what they want to do then should they not be allowed to decide for themselves?" Solas asked.

"If it wasn't for the Inquisition, I'd say let them do what they want but it's not that simple. We don't know what they're doing, where they are. Even if we sent them to the farthest reaches of Thedas we still couldn't be sure that the Inquisition wouldn't be waiting. If tradition is what keeps you happy then fine but it's not worth dying over," Ellana replied. "Have you spoken to Mirwen about it?"

"Briefly but she was more concerned about you," he responded carefully. "I didn't get much of a chance as the others had to have their say. After that it just descended in to another senseless argument."

"I could talk to her about it. If she's accepting then the others might be more open to the idea," Ellana suggested.

"You really think that's a good idea given your current grievance?" he asked.

"She's probably more likely to listen if she thinks she's going to get her head bitten off," she said, with a laugh.

There was a knock at the door and at Solas's behest Varden entered.

"My lord, our scouts have done as you asked and the results are promising," he said.

"Already? Where?" Solas enquired, getting up eagerly.

"West of Redcliffe but they have been brought to the forward camp for your convenience," he responded.

"Wonderful, then this won't take long," Solas remarked. He took Ellana's hand. "Come with me, vhenan. There's something we need to obtain."

Ellana dutifully followed as he led her in the direction of the hilltop Eluvian.

"Where are we going, Solas? What is it we're going to get?" she asked.

"Answers, my love. Answers."

* * *

"It's not her is it?" Ellana asked with sudden dread.

"Of course not!" Solas replied amusedly. "She's still hold up with the Inquisition. There'll be no getting to her for a while… I thought about it, don't get me wrong, but as you said it's not a viable option. Then it occurred to me – it's doubtful that she scoured the wilderness for your friends alone; not our precious Enchanter. There were others. They know what happened and they…"

"Can give us the answer," Ellana finished.

"Exactly. I knew the Inquisition would be trying to watch us; at a distance, of course, but more intensely than before. Luckily for us, distance does not mean safety. You may see your foe in the distance but that can blind you to the wolf sneaking up behind," he mused happily.

Through the woods a group of elves became visible. They surrounded another group; five Inquisition soldiers on their knees.

"But what if they weren't there? How do you know they will have the information we need?" Ellana asked.

"I don't," he replied with a laugh. "But we will soon enough. You need to know the truth, vhenan. Without it you can't move on."

Tears welled in Ellana's eyes at the thought.

"Even if we have to repeat this a hundred more times, I will find the answer for you. You have my word on that," he continued.

He left her side a short distance from the crowd, coming forward alone to meet their captives. The Inquisition soldiers knelt on the ground and all but one looked up at him defiantly. In complete contrast, the remaining one became panicked the second he set eyes on Solas, shaking uncontrollably. His reaction did not escape the Dread Wolf's notice.

"Him," Solas said, nodding to the panicked soldier.

Two of the surrounding elves brought the man forward and took him to his knees at Solas's feet. He came to one knee to meet the shaking man.

"Your friends over there," Solas said, nodding to the other soldiers. "They didn't react when they saw me; just another elf come to accost them. But you? You're different. You know exactly who I am." His tone was gentle, deceptively unthreatening but it didn't stop the man from becoming more panicked with each word. "You were there, weren't you? In that courtyard…watching. I'm right, am I not?"

He waited for a response but none came beyond fearful sobbing.

"Speak!" Solas ordered in a raised voice that made the man jump.

"Yes! I was there…" the man responded weakly.

"Good…that's good," Solas replied, taking the man by the shoulders and returning to his sickly sweet tone. "Then you know better. But you needn't worry, my friend. Answer my questions and nothing has to happen here…you won't have to watch again…"

"Please, no!" the man sobbed.

"Hush… There is nothing to fear," Solas comforted. "Answer my questions and you will all go free."

"Of course! Anything!" exclaimed the soldier.

"Good," Solas replied. "Now… on that fateful day your people hunted some elves. One of those elves was a girl that your people killed." With the mention of Areina the man's sobbing intensified. Solas smiled knowing he was on to the right mark. "I had hoped that you might have been there too and given your reaction…"

"I didn't have anything to do with it! I didn't kill her! It wasn't me!" the man sobbed.

"Of course not! If you had, we wouldn't be having this conversation. No… But you know who did. You were there; you saw. So all you have to do is give me a name. Give me a name and you can all go free," Solas instructed.

"I don't know! I don't know who she was!" the man yelled. "I'm just a soldier! I can't be expected to…"

"Well that is unfortunate," the elf interrupted, getting up off the ground. "And here I was poised to give you your freedom. But now…." He turned away with a darkened expression. "Maybe we should educate your friends. I wouldn't like them to think they're missing out…"

"No!" the soldier yelled. "Please! I…" He stopped, wracking his brain as Solas waited patiently with his back still turned. "Vivienne. The Commander…he called her Vivienne. I'm sure he did! Please, don't hurt them!"

"Well done!" Solas said gleefully, coming back down to the soldier's level. "And now you have your freedom as promised. I hope that you use it more wisely this time."

With that Solas left the soldier still shaking on the ground.

"Take them away from here and release them," he said back in his usual tone to one of the watching elves.

He grabbed Ellana by the arm and turned her tear strewn face away from the others. As he led her back the way they had come he spoke.

"I am sorry, vhenan. It may not be the answer you wanted but at least now you know the truth."

"She will die for this," Ellana sobbed.

"Indeed she will," he replied.

* * *

"So now we know who we're hunting," Shivra remarked coldly.

The group was sitting in a circle around Ariena's body. It seemed slightly wrong to be discussing this over their friend but, even though it sounded incredibly stupid, Ellana didn't want to leave her out.

"I hope he hurt them," Shivra continued angrily.

"He didn't need to. The guy had just watched his comrades being burned alive. He wasn't going to put up much of a resistance in the wake of that, was he?" Ellana replied.

Shivra rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"So what's the plan?" Miris asked.

"There isn't one," Ellana replied sadly. "She's hiding and for now, she's untouchable."

Shivra scoffed angrily and made to argue but Ellana cut her off.

"But that can't last forever. She'll regain her confidence and let her guard down. We just have to wait," she said.

"I fucking hate waiting," Shivra added angrily.

Ellana didn't respond. She was distracted by the sight of Mirwen at the tent's opening. She sighed and got up to join the Keeper outside.

"What do you want?" she asked irritably.

Mirwen looked taken aback by her tone. "I mean no harm. I just wanted to check up on you," she replied carefully.

"Well, I'm doing great. Just as miserable and angry as before but thanks for the concern," Ellana responded angrily.

"Good; I would be disappointed if you weren't," the Keeper remarked.

Ellana's brow furrowed.

Mirwen spoke before she could question, "I know you think I am terrible for what I have done…what I chose to ignore. But I want you to know that I agree with you. Not a day will go by when I don't hate myself for what I've done. She _was_ like a daughter to me…"

Ellana wanted to break down but out of the corner of her eye she saw a crop of red hair bobbing nearby. Firanni had come to eavesdrop and Ellana wasn't willing to show the Keeper's First any weakness. She closed her eyes as she tried desperately to hold back her emotions.

"That day when she joined your band I asked you to treat her as one of your own and look at you! You barely knew her and yet her death has torn you apart. You sit here planning elaborate vengeance!" the Keeper continued with a surprisingly joyful tone. "You took her as one of your own. You may not have kept her safe but neither did I. She made a choice, one that I doubt she would regret. She lived her final days as she chose and that was because of you. She left her people still a child but you made her more."

Ellana couldn't find the words to respond. She still hated what Mirwen had done but she was right; the choice had been Areina's to make. Ellana's eyes stung painfully.

"What would have happened if you had stopped her?" Ellana asked once she had regained some of her composure.

Mirwen sighed. "Does it really matter? We can't change the past, no matter how much we may wish it. What's done is done. But know this – she did not die in vain."

Ellana couldn't hold back the tears any longer and they started to stream down her face. The Keeper took her in a motherly embrace.

"I should have known," Ellana remarked once her pain had diminished. "I did wonder why you never told Solas about the spy but I guess I never thought to question."

"It was not a decision I took lightly. Although I must admit, I am resistant to involving your wolf in anything I do without reason," Mirwen replied with a laugh.

A sudden gasp to their side interrupted them. They both turned to Firanni, its only possible source. She stood with a shocked expression.

"What?" Ellana asked.

"I… No one told me…" Firanni started, her expression still appearing alarmed.

"Speak, girl," Mirwen ordered.

"No one told me we weren't supposed to say anything about the spy," she said, with a slight smirk betraying her façade.

"So? That's shocking to you?" Ellana asked in confusion. Looking over at Mirwen she saw her expression filled with worry.

"I didn't think I needed to say anything before but now with Ari I…" Firanni said carefully.

"What did you do?!" Ellana roared, finally understanding Mirwen's concern.

"With all that has happened I thought I had to tell someone," Firanni added.

As if on cue, Ellana saw Varden in the distance making a beeline for them. Fear crushed what little self-control she had left.

"You what?!" Ellana shouted.

"I'm sorry!" Firanni exclaimed with absolutely no sorrow in her tone. "I thought it was the right thing to do!"

"I'm going to fucking kill you!" Ellana bellowed, reaching for the fire haired elf but Mirwen got to her first.

"You foolish girl!" she shouted, slapping Firanni hard across the face. "How dare you overstep your bounds in this way! Don't even think about apologising! You knew exactly what you were doing!"

Ellana was briefly amused to see Firanni squirming beneath Mirwen's ire but her amusement was quickly overwhelmed by her anxiety.

"Shit! What am I going to do?! I can't deal with this, not now!" she ranted to herself.

"He will understand," Mirwen said reassuringly as Ellana's friends emerged from the tent looking concerned.

Ellana laughed mirthlessly, "No he fucking wont!"

"Just breathe. Try and calm yourself!" Mirwen added.

But it was too late for that. Varden was upon them, the commotion having only quickened his pace.

* * *

Solas stood hunched over the desk with his back to her as she entered the study. She didn't need to see his face to know he was furious. The air seemed to crackle around him as it is always did when he was truly angry. It made her question how in control of himself he really was. Varden backed away quickly, closing the door behind him. Solas turned his head only enough to be certain it was her before turning away again in disgust.

"So there was an Inquisition spy amongst the Dalish then," he started, managing to contain himself.

Ellana interrupted weakly, "I'm sorry! I didn't… I…"

"And how does that sentence finish exactly? What can you possibly say that will explain this?" he asked, volume rising.

He turned to face her and waited for a response. Ellana looked at the floor shamefully.

"Imagine my surprise to hear that not only did you let an Inquisition spy go, you also thought it fit to provoke them!" he continued. "You practically invited them on yourself, ignoring all the dangers that could bring and who might suffer as a result!"

Ellana stuttered to speak but he wasn't done.

"Not only that but you didn't even have the decency to tell me yourself; I had to hear it from Varden! Imagine my amusement at that!" he shouted.

"I couldn't tell you," she said weakly. Finding her strength she went on, "Look at how you're reacting! You'd have kept me locked up here forever!"

Solas made an angry noise as he closed the distance between them.

"And what if I had?! None of this would have happened! You brought this all on yourself! It is your fault!" he yelled. "Maybe if you had taken the time to actually think and not been so selfish then your friend might still be alive!"

Ellana's eyes widened in shock. Tears started to fall against her will.

"Don't you think I know that?! That's nothing I haven't thought myself a thousand times over!" she sobbed, tears streaming so hard she could only see in blurs. She swallowed, crushing down her self-loathing. "But I never thought I would ever hear you say it; not you!"

Unable to stand the sight of him any longer she turned on her heel and ran.

"Ellana, wait…" Solas called uselessly after her; much too late to take it back now.

* * *

Solas with Varden in tow were walking back to the tower fresh from another discussion with the Dalish. His anger from the previous night had not lessened but he had managed to regain his self-control enough to attend to his duties. In the back of his mind he regretted what he had said but his rage kept him from fully admitting it to himself. What Ellana had done was foolish, bordering on idiotic and she had to learn but beneath his blinding anger he knew it was not so simple.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" sounded a bellow from close behind him.

He turned to meet it, fully expecting Ellana. Lis's enraged form surprised him.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" she yelled, getting unexpectedly close to him. "How fucking dare you! All she does is care about you and this is how you repay her! After all the crap you've put her through already! How fucking dare you!"

Due to the sheer volume of Lis's yells everyone in the vicinity was now intently listening. She didn't seem to notice but their gaping stares only added to Solas's bubbling fury. He raised himself to his full height and took a step even closer to her.

"I suggest you drop this right now or it is not going to end well," he threatened, only just managing to keep himself contained.

To her credit, the girl didn't flinch.

"You don't fucking scare me. So go on, try it," she growled. "I see you for what you are. This isn't about the Inquisition or Ari; you don't give a fuck about them. Your problem is you're the one who's fucking scared."

"Scared? Is that so?" he scoffed doubtingly.

"Uh-huh! Like a fucking child!" Lis jeered. "She put herself in danger; real fucking danger and that scared the shit out of you. Makes you mad doesn't it? Knowing you're so afraid of losing someone. Thought you were stronger than that didn't you?"

He still wore a doubting expression; too gobsmacked to remove it but his doubt no longer reached his eyes.

"But you're not! You're just like the rest of us! So you go and take it out on her like the pathetic coward that you are!" Lis bellowed.

His mind raced with terrible realisation; a reply the last thing he could think of.

"I've known some complete assholes in my time but you've got to be up there with the fucking best of them!" she yelled before storming away.

He didn't recover with her departure. Thinking on his actions his eyes stung at his own foolishness.

"Wow…" Varden remarked from his side with equal parts disbelief and admiration. "She saw right through you, didn't she?"

* * *

The day had finally come. Ignoring the insistence that he be left alone, Mirwen had come to tower late in the evening to tell Solas he had got his wish. Time had run out and with it the Dalish had relented. The girl would be burned at the dusk of the following day and that day had arrived. He had wanted to speak with Ellana but the weight of what was to come kept him from her. This day was not about him and it felt wrong to try and make it so. He kept himself sequestered until the light dimmed in the sky.

When he arrived amongst the mourners the girl was already laid across the pyre. Ellana stood on the other side, flanked by her friends. Most of them paid him no mind but Lis glared coldly at him from across the glade. Ellana looked surprisingly strong given the circumstances but Solas was unconvinced. It was a façade, one that he feared she couldn't maintain. He would have loved nothing more than to go to her but now was not the time. So he stayed put; apart from the others as he always was.

Mirwen came forward and silence fell.

"Today we commit to the earth one of our betters," she announced. "Areina was an innocent; full of life and hope. She lived as a child; never doubting, never wanting," she said, voice shaking with emotion. "But she died as a true elf; brave until the end. Without her the world will be forever darkened." She looked directly at Ellana. "But we will not allow her hope to die. We will remember her for what she was and from the ashes we will emerge stronger because of her influence."

She reached over the pyre to kiss Areina's forehead and whispered her final goodbyes. As she took a step back, her face wet with tears, a nearby clan mate handed her a torch. Others stepped to join her and each placed their fire beneath the lost girl. The Dalish sang as it slowly lit, keeping what little tradition they had left. The loss of one of his own saddened Solas as it always did but seeing Ellana weeping in the distance tore at him even more profoundly. Across the flames he could see her collapsing in her grief; only still standing by the grace of her friends. A single tear fell free from his own eyes as he closed them. When he opened them she had fallen to her knees. The flames burned brightly between them as embers danced on against the darkness.

* * *

Finding Ellana had taken longer than it usually did. Solas had become so used to walking her dreams that he often knew where she was by instinct. Tonight was different. She had never suffered a loss like this and it had thrown her mind in to chaos. It wasn't until the storm had calmed that he was able to locate her.

She stood at the remembered edge of the world with only ocean stretching out before her. As he came to stand at her side he could see the waves lashing against the white cliffs beneath them. He watched her, unnoticed, as she crouched down to look thoughtfully over the edge.

"You're not going to jump?" he asked, keeping himself outside of her true awareness.

She didn't look up; not able to think or question the formless voice.

"I can't. I'll drown," she replied blankly.

He nodded sadly. The depths scared her. She had abandoned childlike wonder in favour of fear. Steeling himself for the inevitable pain he granted her her awareness.

"Ellana…" he said weakly.

She finally looked up at him and her face crumpled as all her woes came crashing back in to focus. She stuttered, open mouthed and unable to speak. Tears flooded her silently. He couldn't watch her pain any longer.

"Ellana I'm sorry!" he started desperately. "I should never have…"

"No, you were right. It was me. Everything is my fault," she sobbed.

"No. I was angry…" he said as he turned her to face him properly. "Angry and afraid. I was so scared of losing you that I couldn't see clearly. I couldn't see that I was hurting the one person I care for most in this world."

"That doesn't change what I did. You were right," she said, voice thick with emotion.

"No, Ellana. This wasn't your fault. You made a call, as all leaders do and this time it turned out badly. This time you lost," he said. "But that is our burden. Sometimes we have to lose but we can't let that stop us. We have to be stronger than that. She would want you to be stronger than that."

Tears fell down Ellana's cheeks and her face twitched with overwhelming emotion. He placed a hand on each of her shoulders.

"You are strong enough, Ellana. I know it," he said, unwavering in his confidence.

Her tears fell harder.

"I needed you… I needed you so badly and you weren't there!" she sobbed.

He grabbed her in to an embrace and she sobbed in to him.

"I know, vhenan," he uttered sadly with his own tears forming. "I failed you."

The waves crashed relentlessly beneath them.

"How can I come back from this?" Ellana asked, looking down at the ocean.

"You already have. You are indomitable, my love, there is nothing that you can't overcome," he replied.

"Then why am I still so afraid?" she said weakly, eyes still focused on the water.

He followed her gaze to the swelling depths. She was lost but he could help her find her way back. He looked in to her eyes.

"Do you trust me, vhenan?" he asked.

Her brow furrowed in confusion as she responded, "Yes…"

He held out a hand to her and with some hesitation she took it. With a stride he pulled them both over the edge of the cliffs. She screamed as they fell but he held her still. As the lashing waves neared she closed her eyes in anticipation but the cold never came. Her feet met the water as if it were ground. She opened her eyes, no longer afraid. The ocean stretched out before them; calm beneath their feet. She went to her knees and ran her hands along the surface in amazement. She cupped the water in her hands before allowing it to fall with a laugh.

Solas came to her side, "Fear is what we make it. Allow it to consume you and you will drown beneath its depths," he said with a warm smile. "But if we endure then it can be nothing more than ground beneath our feet. You will overcome this, vhenan."

She rose to him, meeting his eyes with the remnants of tears still evident in her own. An outstretched hand stroked his cheek and their lips met. They stood together as one, unmoving against the tide. Extending beneath their feet the ocean waited to swallow them up but neither relented. There was still much to be done.

* * *

 **A/N - For what it's worth, I am sorry about Vivvy. I have literally nothing against her unlike some of the others. I mean yeah, she's not exactly moral. I think Solas had her pretty well pegged as a person and his estimations were hardly glowing but that doesn't tend to bother me. She was sassy as hell, which I can always appreciate. But(!) the whole Ari thing was actually a dream I had, including Viv's involvement so I was pretty bound to it unfortunately. Sorry Viv. Although, it's going to make for fun later so I'm not all that sorry.**

 **Moving on, sorry for how long this was. I cut out loads as is but it still ended up long as fuck. Breaking it up didn't really work either so I'm afraid we must endure. Well not anymore… I'd presume you've already endured if you're reading this… I'll stop now.**


	17. Respite

**A/N - It's long again! I'm going to stop apologising because it's starting to look like I'd be doing it every chapter. Clearly I have completely lost any ability to edit myself which is unfortunate but oh well. Maybe it will come back. We can hope.**

* * *

"But that doesn't make any sense. Everyone else seems to be completely paralysed by their fear of demons; surely you must worry at least a little?" Ellana questioned Solas as they walked.

The two lagged behind the others making their way through the city streets of Denerim. He had insisted on coming with them and given how he felt about their task, she didn't have the heart to argue. Time had managed to heal much of their wounds. The pain of loss still affected Ellana but that pain no longer extended between them. It had taken work but they had managed to return to some form of normalcy.

"Of course I do," he responded with a laugh. "But I know what I'm doing so it's not a real concern." She didn't look convinced so he continued, "It's like if you're using a dagger; you don't constantly worry about inadvertently stabbing yourself, do you? For the inexperienced it could be a very real possibility but you are skilled, you know what you are doing so it is not a concern."

"I get what you're trying to say but it's not really the same," she replied. "There aren't people out there trying to trick me in to stabbing myself, are there? Yes, I have an opponent but there's no real manipulation. It's entirely different. You could be off, thinking you're doing the right thing and then, bam, possession."

"But it's not that simple, Ellana," he responded. "Even with the variable of a more calculating aggressor I still know how to approach it. I am well versed in the situation and I'm in control of myself…"

"You're in control, are you?" she retorted with a doubting laugh. "You? The guy who explodes furniture every time he gets pissed off?"

"Well, it does get a bit more difficult the more power you have…" he replied somewhat sheepishly. "But that is not the point! The point is I am not worried so you don't need to be either."

"I know _you_ aren't worried!" she responded angrily. "But that doesn't give me much comfort! You can't just…"

"Aww look at you! Your concern for me is just too adorable, vhenan," he teased, a smug smile plastered across his face.

Her nose crinkled with annoyance. "Oh shut up!" she whined. "Here I was trying to have a nice, intelligent discussion and you just had to wreck it."

"You started it," he said with a wide smile. "And for the record, it is not _every_ time I get angry!"

Ellana let out a loud laugh which drew stares from the surrounding citizens. They likely weren't used to seeing elves displaying happiness so freely but she couldn't care less.

"Whatever you say, my love," she said as she kissed him on the cheek.

He kept on trying to convince her as they proceeded through the streets. In a particularly rough neighbourhood they came upon a nasty looking group of men and Ellana hoped for silence as they passed. Judging by the looks they threw her way, she was not going to get her wish.

"Hey baby! Bring that arse back over here!" one of them yelled after her.

"I'd pay to get on that, even for a knife-ear!" commented another.

Ellana kept going, praying Solas hadn't heard but he had already stopped in his tracks. His expression darkened.

"Solas… Don't!" she whined.

Her pleas went unheeded. He turned on his heel and marched confidently towards the gaggle of lechers.

"What was that you just said?" Solas asked the ringleader.

The bearded man looked completely taken aback. He likely wasn't used to being challenged by an elf; certainly not one so self-assured. Ellana ran over to try and diffuse the situation. She grabbed Solas's arm desperately.

"I'm sorry, sir. He meant nothing by it," she said as she tugged at him.

"No, I definitely did," Solas added much to Ellana's annoyance. "Even scum like you should know it is not acceptable to speak to a lady in that way. Apologise and I might consider going on my way."

"Fuck you, knife-ear," the bearded man spat. "I don't owe you or your whore anything!"

Ellana closed her eyes and sighed in exasperation. This man was an idiot. While she accepted that he was likely blinded by past prejudice his inability to put two and two together amazed her. Solas was just an elf but anyone with half a brain should have been able to tell that he was not one to be trifled with. He was confident for a reason after all.

"Scum and an imbecile; isn't that something!" Solas said, pulling free from Ellana.

Getting closer to the man he let out a belittling laugh which only added fuel to the fire. The bearded man took the bait, swinging a fist out in anger. Solas reacted but Ellana shoved him out of the way before any damage was done. She caught the man's fist easily in mid-air and her own smashed in to his face. Releasing his hand sent him thudding to the dirt at her feet.

"Well… That'll do it," Solas remarked gleefully from her side.

She grabbed him again and dragged him away.

"Gentlemen, hopefully you and your unconscious friend will learn from this!" he shouted back at the dumbstruck group.

"You are the worst!" Ellana exclaimed as she continued to drag him towards their concerned entourage. "You know, this is why no one wants to let you out of that damn tower!"

"You're probably right," he said, still sounding amused.

"Well I'm glad you're having fun!" she yelled angrily.

With a sigh she released him in front their people. She fixed him with a glare as the others rushed round.

"That was awesome," Shivra remarked with a glee. "Probably would have been better if you'd burned them a little though."

"I like her," Solas said, nodding to his admirer with another infuriatingly smug smile.

* * *

"What is wrong with you?! That was so reckless!" Ellana yelled.

She had waited until they had been shown to their assigned room before chastising Solas further. For the rest of their journey to the Alienage she had made sure to keep close to the others. In greater numbers they were less of a target and thus Solas would be less likely to get himself in to trouble. It had been a long time since they had been out like this together but it was clear that he'd become a lot more detached from the real world than she had expected. She worried what would have happened if she hadn't stepped in.

"It was. I guess I didn't really think it through," he casually replied.

"Well that's pretty clear!" she scoffed. "You of all people should be old enough to know better! If they come here looking for us then that could blow this whole thing!"

"You're right. I'm sorry. It was careless of me," he placated. "If they do come then we'll deal with it. They're nothing we can't handle."

"That's beside the point!" she exclaimed crossly.

"I know! I could not just stand by while someone was disrespecting you like that!" he yelled back, throwing up his hands in frustration. He took a calming breath. "Look, I got angry and made a mistake. I'm sorry. I don't know what else you want me to say!"

"Well I…! I don't know! You've already gone and done it so there's nothing to say!" she replied. She let out a long sigh. "Just don't do it again okay? I'm already nervous enough and I don't need this on top of everything else."

"I am sorry, vhenan," he said taking her in his arms. "I've given you so much to deal with already."

"No, I brought this one on myself. If you'd had your way I'd be nowhere near this place," she added with regret.

"That is true," he replied, lightly kissing the top of her head.

A raven at the window caught their attention and he left her to see to it. She slumped down on the bed as he read.

"Looks like our charge will be in the city by nightfall," Solas remarked, still reading intently.

"Wonderful. Just what I wanted to hear," Ellana declared sarcastically as she lay back.

"He won't be visiting the Alienage tonight, vhenan. He always lets them know and we've heard nothing so you're safe for now," he said, looking up briefly to give her a reassuring smile. "They say his entourage is much smaller than I expected. That's good," he continued trying to sound hopeful.

He put the letter down and sat down beside her.

"It will be fine, you know? Not pleasant by any stretch of the word but I have every faith in you. You'll be fine," he said, placing a hand reassuringly on her thigh.

"I'm glad you're here," Ellana uttered. "At least then if I mess it up…"

"You won't!" he exclaimed as he turned to face her. "You will be fine! So stop your worrying and…"

She reached up and kissed him.

"…have faith," he finished breathlessly.

"I love you, you know?" she said sweetly.

"Indeed I do," he replied with a sly smile.

"Even if you can be a complete twat at times," she finished with a sly grin.

He pushed her playfully back on to the bed and she let out a yelp of surprise.

* * *

Seated on a chest of drawers Ellana looked out of the small window on to the streets below. She didn't like being in the Alienage. Seeing it in the morning light was an unwelcome reminder of the squalor her people so often faced. She wouldn't openly admit it but she much preferred the times she could forget it all from the heights of her ivory tower.

"You're already awake?" Solas asked from the bed.

"I couldn't sleep. We seem to have noisy neighbours," she responded with a laugh.

"Since when has that stopped you? You're hardly a light sleeper," he remarked sleepily.

"I guess I can't let my guard down here. I'm just not comfortable," she added as she got down from her perch to join him on the bed.

"You're sure that's the reason?" he asked with a yawn. "You're too agitated, are you not? Distraction can be a heavy burden."

"I do have a lot on my mind," she agreed. "Places I'd rather be…"

"You know we can't, vhenan," he said as though he could read her thoughts. "While she's protected there is nothing we can do. You know that."

Ellana let out a frustrated sigh, "I just wish…"

"We will get her, vhenan. She's much too proud to stay hidden for long and when she breaks, she's ours," he stated firmly, taking her hand in his. "The time for your vengeance _will_ come but for now, you must wait."

"I know. You're right of course," she replied dejectedly. Thoughts of Areina plagued her mind. "Being here without her just makes it hurt more, you know? She was the only one who really gave this place a chance. She always saw the positives even when there appeared to be none. I always admired that about her."

"It sounds like she was an extraordinary individual," he uttered.

"She really was," Ellana responded sadly.

He sat up and ran a hand through her hair. She lay back against him.

"I have a question," she eventually said. With a sound of affirmation from him she continued, "I know what I've got to do but what happens after? When the guards realise their boss is gone won't they ask questions? Maybe even harm the residents to get answers?"

"Definitely but that's the best part," Solas mused with glee. "There will be no one left." In response to Ellana's thoroughly confused expression he continued, "By the time they know what has happened this place will be empty; a complete ghost town. With no one left to ask or harass there is nothing they can do about any of it."

"But how is that even possible? People can't just vanish?" she asked.

"Of course they can! If they have somewhere else to go," he replied with a slight laugh. "This has taken months of planning. We needed the entire district on board before we could carry out even the initial stages. Any one wrong element could have ruined everything and we would only get one chance at this. When we eventually thought to plan our exit, the work was already done. It was easy to convince them all to leave along with us. Besides, what better way to head off those that would hunt us than leave them with absolutely nothing to go on? They will have no idea why it happened or who we are and no way of finding out."

"That is pretty brilliant," she conceded with an impressed smirk. "So we're taking the whole Alienage home with us?"

"I'm afraid so," he said noticing the apprehension in her tone. "I'm not sure how useful they'll be in the long run but we shall owe them a great deal if this all goes to plan."

"True…" she responded. "But please tell me they won't be opening up a place for the dancing girls outside our window."

"Maybe not right outside our window," he said with a laugh. "But as far as I'm concerned they can do as they like. Their lifestyle choices are their own."

"Well as long as I don't find you there then I guess I can make my peace with it," she replied with a playful glare.

"You won't. Dancing girls don't interest me," he said. "You're what interests me."

He ran his hands down her shoulders and on to her arms sending a shiver down her spine. He stopped when he reached her ebony arm, touching it thoughtfully.

"You know…I think they've limited this," he mused with a thoughtful stare.

"What do you mean?" Ellana asked.

"There's power there that is hidden from you. It has the potential to be stronger but for some reason those that made it have chosen to limit it. Curious," he continued as he got up and started to dress.

"Why would they do that?" she asked, subtly watching him out of the corner of her eye.

"I don't know. Maybe they didn't like the idea of giving too much power to the almighty Inquisitor. After all, you had just defeated some of their countrymen. You were a very real threat," he mused. He came over to her, part dressed. "May I?"

She held out her hand to his waiting grasp. He took it and sat down beside her to examine intently. His hands glowed as he ran them across it.

"Hmmm, my hypothesis seems to be correct. I think I can see what they've done but... Do you mind if I try something?" he asked hopefully.

"Go right ahead," she replied but she started to doubt. "Be careful though, won't you?"

"Of course," he muttered, not really listening anymore.

He ran a glowing finger along its length which came to rest in her palm. The feeling, although slightly duller than if it had been her other arm, sent a tingle through her. He clasped her hand in his; fingers entwined. His eyes glowed. A shooting pain ran through her ebony arm and up in to her shoulder but it was mercifully brief.

"Ow!" she yelled, reflexively pulling her hand away and getting up with a start.

"Sorry, I thought that might happen," he said, looking concerned. He took her hand to examine again. "I think…that has actually done it." He released her hand back to her with a smile. "No more limits."

Ellana looked disbelievingly at her arm. With the pain gone it felt no different.

"Why don't you try it out?" he suggested.

She strode over to the nearest wall and struck out at it. To her complete surprise her fist went straight through without as much as a sting.

"Not like that!" Solas exclaimed, getting up to help her free.

Her hand had left a rather large hole in the wall and their neighbours screamed unappreciatively.

"Sorry!" Solas called uselessly through the hole before both descended in to laughter.

* * *

"Have I mentioned that I hate this," Shivra remarked angrily from the other side of the room.

The others ignored her whining. Ellana and her friends had been spending their time laboriously practicing again in the dance hall. She had left Solas to his own devices which he seemed quite happy with. He had shown no desire to involve himself in this part of the plan and Ellana couldn't exactly blame him. Even though the display itself would probably have pleased him greatly, the thought of what it was leading to would inevitably hurt more than amuse. At first Ellana was annoyed with herself. She had lost so much of her ability since their last visit. While this was likely due to her own avoidance of any real practice, she still let it frustrate her. Her long suffering instructor did nothing to hide her disapproval which only added to her already high anxiety. She fumbled uselessly through the movements but with time she slowly regained what she had lost. The others, however, had managed to maintain their own steady levels but in some cases that was not a good thing. Shivra remained useless; much too high strung to really learn; whereas Miris and Lis danced with the same gentle grace that everyone had come to expect.

As they continued, a hush seemed to descend across the room; each of them inadvertently thinking on the same bleak topic.

"This is no fun without Ari," Lis remarked sadly to no one in particular.

Ellana stopped, face downturned in sadness. The others in their silence looked equally depressed. Ellana's instructor took her by the arm.

"I'm sorry about your friend. She seemed so young and it's hard to lose someone so early," she said blonde hair obscuring part of her face.

"How did you…?" Ellana asked uselessly.

"I'd know that look anywhere," she replied. "Gone but not forgotten. Try and keep that in mind even when the remembering hurts."

"Thank you?" Ellana replied, still taken aback.

The sound of the main door opening behind them interrupted their conversation and to her surprise Solas entered. He stayed by the door seeming unwilling to traverse further in to this world.

"Is that him?" the blonde elf asked teasingly. "Not what I expected."

Ellana ignored her to go and speak with him. He looked exceedingly uncomfortable for a change and the sight amused her to no end.

"I have some good news," he remarked as she neared. "It seems you are free for another night. I have just been told the Magister has other plans and so will not be gracing us with his presence."

She let out a happy squeal and hugged him with glee. There was a small part of her that wished that it would all just be over but it wasn't enough to dampen the prospect of a night free from worry. Remembering their audience as her glee faded, she released him rather sheepishly.

"Thank fuck for that! Well then, I'm out!" Shivra exclaimed as she made her own way towards the doors.

"We're nowhere near done! You can't walk out now!" one of the dancers yelled after her.

"Try me!" she shouted back as she marched past the couple and out the door.

"Sorry ladies but I think that's us done for the day," Ellana added. "Thank you so much for all your efforts."

The others filed out to find Shivra with Ellana and Solas following behind.

"Rough day?" he asked once they reached the outside air.

"Not the best but fruitful, I guess," Ellana replied. "You have no idea how relieved I am that we've got another free night! Now we can actually have some fun!"

"I really hope that means what I think it does," he commented slyly.

She nudged him playfully in the ribs and together they made their way back to the welcome solitude of their quarters.

* * *

Despite the sun still shining through the open window Solas lay in pleasantly dreaming sleep. He wandered the Fade with no real goal in mind but such times were always the most enjoyable. It was an infinitely fascinating place even after all the years he had spent within. Little gave him more joy than to explore its expanse without a care. Unfortunately he was broken from his wanderings by the rather loud closing of the bedroom door.

"Sorry… I woke you didn't I?" Ellana said as he rose.

"It's probably for the best. I shouldn't really be sleeping during the day," he remarked, trying to hide his dissatisfaction.

He stretched out an arm and taking the invitation she sunk down beside him.

"I wanted to talk to you actually; about tonight," she said as he pulled her in closer. "The others and I thought it might be fun to go to this inn and have some drinks."

The thought of a night without her disappointed him but he wasn't about to let it show. She had every right to spend the night with her friends and he didn't want to make her feel any less for doing so. Besides, he had so much more he should really be doing and the lack of distraction could be welcome.

"I'd love it if you would come with us," she continued to his surprise. "Now I know it's probably not really your sort of thing but even still, I thought it might be enjoyable. We haven't really had a chance to do anything like this since we…" She stopped; struggling with how best to phrase their reconciliation. "…got back together and I guess I've missed it."

"I'm not sure I should," he replied carefully, not wanting to hurt her feelings. "Things are different now and I'm not sure it's really appropriate for me to…"

"You are allowed to have fun, you know? Sure you're this great leader now but that doesn't mean you're not just a person. You're allowed to let them see the real you, Solas. You don't have to keep it hidden away just for me," she said.

"I know that but there is still a line. I don't think seeing me drunk is really going to help anyone," he added, chuckling.

"I never said you had to get drunk. It doesn't have to be exactly like it used to be," she teased. She got up from the bed, stopping by the door. "Think on it but for what it's worth, I really hope you do come. I think it would be really good for you. You need a chance to let go of all of this just as much as I do; even if it is only for a night."

She smiled at him as she left, closing the door behind her. She leaned against it before moving off. She truly did hope that he would throw caution to the wind and join them. Although the others had with relative ease, Lis still hadn't forgiven him for the way he had dealt with Areina's death. She hoped that spending some time together may help mend the situation and possibly with time, they might see him the way she did; not as their leader but as a person.

* * *

Making his way through the Alienage Solas couldn't help but enjoy it. He was so used to prying eyes but here he didn't have that issue. Few beyond his own agents knew or cared who he was. As he walked no one stared or muttered; he was free to do as he wished. It was a surprisingly pleasant feeling to know that no one cared. Rounding a corner the inn came in to view and he could hear music playing from within. Passing through the door his nose wrinkled as the smell of sweat and cheap liquor hit him but he powered through. He found Ellana amongst the crowd. She danced joyously with her friends in the heart of it all. Seeing her in such a blissfully lost state was oddly moving. So much so that he simply stared, a smile forming on his face. As one of her companions pulled her in, she turned and saw him watching her. She ran to him with a look of utter joy, wrapping her arms around his neck when they met.

"You came!" she exclaimed as she held him.

He closed his eyes appreciatively at the embrace.

"For you, my love, anything," he replied.

She released him and took his hand.

"Do you want a drink? We're about due for some more," she said with a giggle.

"Why not?" he replied.

* * *

Ellana waved a hand at her friends as she led him towards the bar. Lis glowered in their direction but she chose to ignore it. Lis's feelings were her own and she didn't want to provoke confrontation without proper cause. They all met at the bar and Ellana ordered the drinks. They had already had a pretty hefty head start. In the back of her mind she hoped a bit of inebriation might make for a less awkward encounter.

Right on cue Miris jumped straight in, "So, I've always wanted to ask; you're the actual Dread Wolf? The one from the legends. The real Fen'Harel?"

It was nice to hear the normally quiet Miris making the effort but the blunt question made Ellana start. She'd never really heard Solas tackle this topic with anyone but herself so she didn't know if he would take offense. Miris had never questioned her about it despite numerous opportunities so hearing her ask was surprising to say the least.

"I am indeed. Although, the legends aren't what I'd call accurate," he answered with no hint of offense.

"Then you don't spend your nights chasing children through the Fade and making fool's bargains with strangers?" Miris added, seeming not at all fazed.

"No… I can't say I have ever chased a child through the Fade, as of yet," he replied with a laugh.

"Well that is reassuring," Miris responded with her own amusement.

The drinks arrived and Ellana presented each one to their charge. When she handed Solas his to her astonishment he downed it. He was clearly more nervous than he was letting on. With drinks now in hand the group went to find a seat.

"But that would make you ancient," Miris continued; prompting a frown from Solas. "You must have seen some remarkable things."

"You have no idea," he said, smiling knowingly.

"Then why don't you illuminate me? We have time," she prodded as they sat.

Ellana smiled as she watched the look of admiration spread across his expression.

"Very well," he replied with an enthusiastic grin.

* * *

Ellana stumbled back along the corridor in a bit of haze. She had wisely decided she was done with drinking for the evening but the effects were still being felt. The night so far had gone well. Miris seemed to really hit it off with Solas. The two had happily mused together about the world with surprising ease. The revelation that she too was a mage started a whole other conversation that kept them happily occupied for even longer. Shivra also hadn't needed much encouragement to get involved with their illustrious leader. She already thought he was brilliant; she'd made that much clear already; and she definitely was not one to hold back so the conversation came easily. Lis was the only issue. She wasn't rude by any stretch of the word but she still held back. Ellana couldn't help but wonder if talking it out may actually be the best course of action.

Finally she reached the main hall. Through her haze she could see Lis and Miris still on the dancefloor. Solas had declined to join the women for now so she wasn't surprised not to see him there but Shivra's absence was odd. She staggered towards where they had sat but as she neared she saw an unexpected sight. Solas sat where she had left him but Shivra was now opposite looking uncharacteristically emotional. Ellana slowed her gait, her haze lifting with sudden curiosity. She kept to the shadows hoping to hear what was being said.

"For what it's worth, I think we should all take whatever chance for respite that we can," she heard Solas say. "The world can be cruel and unforgiving. We all need something to make it worthwhile."

"I know you're right but it's just so fucking hard. I don't know if I can ever make it work and maybe it would be better if I didn't even try. I just don't know if I'm hurting more than I'm helping," Shivra replied sadly. "Maybe I don't…"

Solas shook his head before cutting her off, "No, do not sell yourself short. You are worthy of happiness, Shivra. Don't ever doubt that."

Ellana stopped her sneaking, too overcome by warmth at his words. Shivra looked down as her cheeks reddened lightly. She smiled sheepishly before her expression darkened again. Solas looked up at precisely the wrong time and immediately caught sight of Ellana. He didn't openly react but she saw no point in remaining in the shadows any longer.

"So what are we talking about?" she asked once she reached them.

Shivra looked shocked by her arrival; struggling to regain her composure as fast as she could. Solas stepped in to cover for her.

"Nothing important, vhenan," he said as he got up. He took her hand. "Dance with me."

She glanced at Shivra who wore a look of utter gratitude.

"All right, I guess it's about time we showed them how it's done," she replied with a smile.

He led her on to the dance floor and pulled her in close. It had been so long since they had danced together but it still felt so natural. They moved so easily with one another; each anticipating the other's movements without hesitation.

"That was really nice, what you said to her," she remarked.

"I knew you were listening." he declared smugly.

"Well… I was worried. Shivra has a bit of an infatuation with you and I wanted to make sure it wasn't crossing a line," she replied.

"An infatuation? You've got that completely wrong," he said with an amused laugh.

"Wrong? How?" she asked, with sudden suspicion.

He sounded so certain but that must mean he knew something she didn't. He stuttered uselessly; realising his blunder. A thought occurred to her.

"There's someone else?! You've got to be shitting me!" she exclaimed with glee.

"Well I suppose you were going to find out sooner or later," he replied, defeated. "But don't tell the others. It worries her enough without you lot getting involved. And for the record, it's not 'someone else'. This infatuation you claim is entirely in your imagination."

"Who is it?" she asked eagerly.

He stopped dancing to glare at her in response.

"Fine! It's none of my business. I'll stop asking," she conceded.

With the topic dropped they resumed their dance. Ellana could feel the eyes of nearby elves on them but she didn't mind. In this setting she actually enjoyed their admiration. They danced for a long time but it passed with such ease that she didn't notice.

"You know, this is not a place I would normally choose to be. The smell alone is enough to put me off," he remarked as he spun her into him. "But being with you makes it all worthwhile."

She turned herself to face him; looking up in to his eyes intently.

"And I don't just mean here. You make everything worthwhile," he continued.

She reached out to touch his neck feeling his pulse beating beneath her hand. With the slightest caress up her arms and onto her shoulders he sent a shiver down her spine. The sound of bouncing footsteps raced in the distance but both were too engrossed to notice. He pulled her in closer as she slid her hands up his neck.

"Just fucking kiss him already!" Shivra yelled as she bounced past.

"I actually agree with that sentiment," Miris added, following close behind.

Ellana let out an exasperated sigh.

"Fuck you guys!" she shouted to their retreating heads.

She turned back hopefully but Solas had already descended in to laughter.

* * *

"You're sure you want to start drinking again?" Solas asked with some genuine concern.

"One more before we go," Ellana replied determinedly.

Solas looked doubting but he knew better than to argue. The rest of the gang were chatting happily beside them as they waited on the barmaid.

"Do it now." Shivra said, elbowing Lis in the ribs.

Lis sighed, breaking off from the others to stand before Solas. He looked at her with surprise and an unusual hint of worry.

"I wanted to apologise," she said. "I'm sorry for being such a bitch. I…"

"Please stop," Solas interrupted with a raised hand. "An apology is entirely unnecessary. You were being protective of your friend and given who your friend is to me," he put an arm around Ellana, "I am grateful for it. Your reprimand was entirely warranted and, to be honest, insightful. I hold no ill will towards you for it."

Lis looked confused.

"In short, I deserved everything you gave me," he added.

"Oh…! Thanks I guess?" Lis replied, looking taken aback.

Lis outreached a hand to him and with a look of relief he shook it.

"You're quite welcome," he responded.

The barmaid came with their drinks distracting the others and Ellana took the opportunity to kiss Solas appreciatively on the cheek.

"Thank you," she whispered.

He looked down on her with a gentle smile.

* * *

Distant but instantly recognisable, the sound of yells hit them the second they stepped free of the inn.

"Trouble," Solas stated, stopping in his tracks.

An elf approached; the agent who had greeted them during their last visit. He nodded to Ellana in polite recognition before turning his attention to Solas.

"A group of humans are harassing the residents and it's getting ugly," he explained. "They're demanding we find 'that bald little shit' so they can 'deal with him'. Their words not mine. Excuse me for repeating it but…"

"It's quite alright; I get the picture," Solas interrupted. "Where are the city guards? Should they not be dealing with this?"

"From what I understand it is quite common for individuals to bribe the city guard to look the other way during disputes such as these. They have no love for the elves so I'm sure they're only too happy to take the money," the agent mused.

"Charming," Solas remarked, his lip curled in disgust. "I suppose in this instance it will work to our advantage at least. How many are there?"

"Six at my last count," the elf responded.

"Very well. Clear the area as much as you can. If they want me then they can have me," Solas replied as he moved off.

"No you fucking won't!" Ellana shouted, catching up to him.

He didn't break his stride but he did look taken aback by her tone.

"I'm not going to kill them, Ellana. They may be complete fools but that would be a bit extreme," he responded, sounding hurt.

"I don't care about that! You can't be spewing off magic here! End of story! The guards may be willing to ignore elves getting beaten but they won't ignore that!" she continued.

"What else do you expect me to do? Leave others to deal with this? Hide away and wait for them to tire and go home? Not likely," he replied as they reached the furore.

"Of course not but it still shouldn't be you!" Ellana responded.

"This is my doing vhenan, you said so yourself. I understand your concern but they deserve to get what's coming to them," he said.

"No! You're staying right here," she said, grabbing his arm to stop him before he could break through the concerned crowd. "Let us! We can deal with this."

She looked around at her surrounding friends who each nodded in approval. Solas still looked thoroughly unamused.

"But…" he tried.

"I said no, Solas! You are not to move from this spot. Do you understand me?" she interrupted.

"Fine," he conceded, rolling his eyes. "But if there is even the slightest hint of trouble…"

Ellana ignored his protests as she strode through the crowd with her friends following behind. She could see a group of dancing girls was trying to placate the men but it appeared to be having little effect. One of the girls was knelt on the floor holding her face as some of the others comforted her. Those in the crowd simply watched but Ellana couldn't judge them. Attacking a human, even one that was a direct threat, was not something to be taken lightly. Elves had rotted in prison for much less. Hush fell as Ellana and her entourage brought themselves in to view. Drawing closer she could see that the men were armed which made her pause. Unfortunately her and her companions were not so well prepared. She stopped a small distance from them and was met by the unwelcome but familiar sight of the bearded man, sword in hand.

"It's not you we want, bitch. Our quarrel is with him, not his whore," he said, pointing at Solas who had annoyingly made no effort to hide.

"You really don't want to be having this conversation with him, trust me on that," she replied coldly.

"Oh really? What the fuck is that little shit going to do?" he slurred.

"Absolutely nothing I hope but that is beside the point. You're dealing with me now so let's try and focus on that," she added.

"Fuck off you stupid whore," one of the men uselessly interjected from behind; drawing laughs from the others.

"Lovely. Are you quite done?" Ellana asked, her patience wearing thin. "Because the way I see it you've got two choices. Either you keep this up and end up getting your asses kicked by a bunch of girls or you leave now with your tails between your legs like the pathetic cowards that you are."

The bearded man closed the distance between them. Towering over her he should have been intimidating but Ellana wasn't bothered in the slightest.

"So what's it going to be?" she questioned with a sideways smile.

He hesitated, looking back at his companions for the briefest of moments but Ellana already knew what was coming. Suddenly he swung his sword down on her but he was still far too slow. With her gloved hand she caught the blade in mid-air. He stared disbelievingly at it as he tried in vain to force it further.

"Well that was short-sighted, wasn't it?" she remarked, tightening her grip. She could feel the metal cracking under the pressure. "So…very…short-sighted…" she continued, advancing closer with each word.

Unable to take the force any longer the blade fragmented beneath her ebony fingers. She smiled up at him as she let the pieces fall free from her hand.

"Ladies!" she called out to her friends as the man gawped uselessly at the fallen shards. "I think it's time we showed these boys what we're made of, don't you?"

"Finally!" Shivra exclaimed, running forward and immediately punching the nearest man square in the face, kneeing him in the crotch and throwing him to the floor in one fluid movement.

Ellana followed suit, kicking the bearded man's shin out from under him. As he fell she brought his head down hard on her knee. Miris and Lis entered the fray with similar fervour and together they took it down to the last man in a matter of moments. The last one standing engaged Lis while the others recovered. He swung his blade dangerously close and in her inebriated state she failed to dodge in time. Ellana gasped in anticipation but seconds before the blade struck it suddenly shattered in the man's hands. He looked down at it in complete confusion and Lis took her opportunity to finish him off. Ellana looked around, finally seeing Solas with eyes still glowing as he came forward. The crowd cheered as the group met around Ellana.

"Thank you," Lis said, looking up at Solas with genuine gratitude.

"Don't mention it," he replied.

"So what do we do with them?" Ellana asked, gesturing to the unconscious men. "We can't just leave them here."

"We could throw them out of the Alienage but that might provoke more attacks. Not ideal for what we need," Solas mused. "The best option is probably to keep them locked up here. Then once our work is done we can just release them. It won't matter by that point."

"Sounds like a plan," Ellana agreed.

Solas gestured to the nearby agent who came dutifully over. Ellana turned to her friends.

"Nicely done ladies," she said with a smile.

"Yeah, that was pretty great," Shivra remarked with her own grin.

Having finished relaying his orders Solas was back at Ellana's side. He put an arm around her, his expression beaming with pride.

"That hand you've got, didn't know it could do that! Pretty fucking amazing isnt it?" Shivra continued. She turned to Solas with a sly smile. "Wouldn't be letting that thing anywhere near me if I was you. It crushed fucking metal! Imagine what it could do to your…"

"Shivra!" Ellana exclaimed, her face bright red.

"Oh no…" cringed Solas as he tried to hide his equally red face in the crook of Ellana's neck.


	18. The Magister

**A/N - Sorry for the delays guys - life and that. Plus I finally worked out where this is going and that fucked me up for a few days. My imagination jumped so far ahead in the timeline that it took a while to get back. Don't get me wrong, I've had quite a lot more already mapped out for ages but I just didn't know where it was going to end. Do now. Definitely not what I expected. On we go!**

* * *

Commander Cullen sat working at his desk. He wasn't making much progress but the action alone calmed his anger. The door clicked open and shut and when he glanced up he caught a brief glimpse of Cassandra. He ignored her presence, hoping foolishly that she might leave.

"You can't just walk out like that," she said.

He took his time replying, "I think you'll find I just did."

He didn't usually stand up to Cassandra in this way; she was intimidating to say the least, but his sour mood pushed him on.

"You're not helping the situation, Cullen," she continued. "We need to be together on this, now more than ever. We are at…"

"War. Yes I know. You've said it enough times," he snapped back. "At the risk of repeating myself yet again, have you even considered how stupid that is? I don't care what you all say; facing this head on is not the answer."

"Then what is? Offer me another solution, anything at all, and I will listen. You can't keep fighting us every step of the way and offer nothing in return. When will you let go of your own feelings and start acting like the Commander that you should be," Cassandra responded, struggling to remain calm.

" _I_ need to let go? What about you! Our men didn't need to die, it was completely preventable but you just had to push. You couldn't let her go and they all died as a result," he shouted.

"I'm not listening to this again! If you want to sulk then that's fine; go right ahead! But eventually you're going to have to wake up!" she shouted back.

Cullen took a long calming breath. Since the day they had lost Ellana this argument had been repeated so many times he couldn't keep track anymore. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't escape it. Even when they met to discuss other matters it would always return inevitably back to her.

"If we face them we will lose," he eventually said. "It doesn't matter how many allies we gather, how many men we throw at them, in the long run we will not win."

"We've faced greater foes. We've already proven we can succeed," Cassandra responded desperately.

"Because of her, Cassandra. Do you really think we could have done it without her because I don't! Solas alone is already a greater foe than we have ever faced and maybe if she was still with us we would have a chance but she is not. She is right there by his side fighting us too," he said sadly.

"But we have no choice! I will not stand aside and let them destroy everything we have worked so hard to build!" Cassandra exclaimed.

"I'm not saying we should give up but provoking them further will only end in more pointless death. We need to survive long enough to find another way. Our numbers dwindle and we cannot afford to bring them to our door once again," he continued.

"You're right, in our current state we can't stand up to them but what else can I do!" Cassandra yelled.

"We have to wait. I know it's hard to let go of what they have done but keeping on this path will only end in disaster. We need time and we won't have that if we force them in to action," he added.

"But the more time we give them the stronger they become!" she argued.

"It is a risk but what choice do we have? Nipping at their heels achieves nothing other than begging their attention. We need numbers and, at best, a solution. We should be focusing our full attention on that not chasing after whatever elves we can find," Cullen explained.

"Very well," she responded with a sigh. "For now, we will hold off and wait for an opportunity. Josephine is already in talks with noble houses of both Orlais and Tevinter. Perhaps with time we will get the help we need."

"And Vivienne?" he asked.

"What about her?" she questioned carefully.

"We need to get her as far away from us as possible," he replied coldly. "They know and keeping her here puts us all at risk."

"They are our enemies, not her. She killed a soldier in a war. She didn't do anything wrong and I see no reason to cast her out for her actions," Cassandra responded.

"It's not her actions that worry me," Cullen remarked.

"Without our protection she would be in danger. You would abandon her to that?" she asked.

"She made her bed. I would not see us lie in it along with her," he replied coldly.

* * *

Ellana awoke to find the bed empty beside her. She got up, bleary eyed, to look out the window. The sun was already raised in the sky, bathing the bustling streets in bright light. She winced, the daylight making her head pound. He had let her sleep in again. Ignoring the pain she smiled as memories of the previous night came slowly back to her. After taking a moment to enjoy her thoughts she dressed and proceeded downstairs. Out in the street she found Solas beneath the great heart tree. Her friends stood with him, talking intently.

"What are we talking about?" she said as she neared them.

The group looked up with a start and hush descended. Ellana was certain they had been talking about her.

"Well?" she tried again.

Her friends all turned to Solas expectantly. His eyes were fixed on Ellana and in them she could see sadness brimming. Her breathing quickened with concern.

"The Magister, he's… It's happening tonight, vhenan," Solas finally said.

"I'm sorry, Ellana," Lis added.

It took everything in her not to react. She wanted to appear strong, as she should be, but Solas saw through her like a pane of glass. He gave Lis a look and she nodded.

"We probably have work to do so we should get going," she said, nodding to the others.

Miris looked concerned but she reluctantly took Lis's cue.

"We'll see you soon, okay?" Shivra remarked, tapping Ellana reassuringly on the shoulder before she too followed Lis.

Ellana smiled them off weakly. Once they had left she kept her eyes turned to the floor. She was afraid that if she did or said anything then she would crumble. She wanted more than anything to be stronger than this but no matter how much she willed it, it wasn't so. Solas said nothing either. She couldn't tell if he just couldn't find the words or if he knew that she needed his silence. Either way she was glad. Time wasn't helping, her dread building inside her. She could feel her hand begin to shake. Solas came forward and took it, pulling her lightly in to his chest. She expected to fall apart with the sudden contact but she didn't. The sound of his heartbeat thrumming in her ear soothed her. With each beat she could feel the dread lifting until it was little more than a whisper in the back of her mind.

* * *

The day had passed much too quickly for Ellana's liking. With the news of the Magister's imminent arrival there had been a whirlwind of activity. First she was taken to a dress fitting and then on to relentless practice. Solas had offered to remain with her but she opted to send him on his way. Although his presence brought her strength, she knew he wouldn't be able to hide his worry and her own was more than enough. On top of that she was sure there were other preparations needing his attention and she wasn't willing to let him abandon them for her sake. In what little time they did manage to spend together he focused on going over what she had to do. It may have seemed insensitive but comfort was the last thing she wanted and he knew that. She needed calm. She needed the details. Focusing on that made it easier. If she could see it as simply a plan needing proper execution then the emotions would become irrelevant.

They had been dancing for what felt like hours so Ellana left the dance hall in desperate need of a break. She sat down on a step with a deep sigh. Trying to distract herself she looked for shapes in the clouds but she could see nothing beyond wisps.

"You all right?" came the sound of Lis's voice.

"Yeah, I just needed a break," Ellana replied as Lis took a seat next to her.

They sat in silence looking up at the sky together. From inside they heard a crash which made them jump. Yelled swearing from Shivra followed and the two giggled.

"What are we going to do with her?" Ellana said, still giggling.

"Maybe it would be best if she wasn't in the hall with us tonight?" Lis asked, turning suddenly serious. "She won't like it but you know what she's like. First guy that looks at her will get a punch in the face."

"You're probably right. I guess I'll have to talk to her about it," Ellana conceded, disappointed that the conversation had returned to their task. "To be honest, we could probably use someone on the outside."

"Won't Solas be out here?" Lis asked.

"That's what I mean. Better to have someone I trust keeping an eye on him," Ellana responded sadly.

"Where is he now? Shouldn't he be here with you?" Lis asked in an annoyed tone.

"He wanted to be but I told him not to. You know, you really shouldn't be so hard on him. He's terrified I might get hurt and trying his absolute best to hide it. It's not his fault I can see through his efforts," Ellana retorted, getting irritated.

"If he's so damn worried then why do we have to do this? When you put yourself up for this I seriously thought he would never go through with it. I mean, it's too much and it's you! What could possibly be so important? " Lis asked. "I wouldn't normally ask but I feel like I need to know. I need to understand why it has to be like this."

Ellana was taken aback. It was unlike Lis to ask about the details. She had always seemed content to follow orders and work towards the larger goal without knowing much beyond what she needed. She had never seemed particularly interested in the bigger picture which certainly made things easier for Ellana. Lis's questioning left her torn. Ellana was certain she could explain the situation without divulging too much but that could lead to questions. If it did she could lie but she didn't want to go down that route again with Lis. Omitting the truth was one thing but she couldn't stomach outright lying to her friend again.

"Somnaborium. The Vessels of Dreams," Ellana eventually said.

"The what?" Lis asked with a perplexed look.

"A long time ago there were these Tevinter mages; 'Dreamers' they called them. These mages took something from the elves, something powerful. We are hoping that somewhere one might still exist so we can take it back," Ellana explained.

"So this Magister, he has one of these things?" Lis asked, still trying to understand.

"It seems unlikely but that's not why we need him. The Imperium is closed to our kind. Even with our agents on the ground it is near impossible for them to gather any useful information. This Magister not only knows Tevinter but he has studied the Dreamers. We take him and we should have all we need. We'll know if Tevinter is worth our time," Ellana continued.

"So you're putting yourself at risk for information? Seriously? That is not important enough," Lis remarked, sounding angered again.

"But it is. I know it's difficult to understand but we have to know. This is what we need to move forward," Ellana responded.

Lis still looked dissatisfied but Ellana felt there was little more she could say. She couldn't really blame Lis for her confusion. She was only receiving half of the story after all.

"Besides, do you really think Solas would let me do this if it wasn't important?" Ellana continued.

"I guess not but I still don't get it," Lis replied. She paused thoughtfully. "Is he right to be worried? Do you think you will get hurt?"

"I don't know. It all depends on whether I can pull it off. If not then I guess I'll be all alone with a known elf murderer," Ellana mused. "Not exactly the safest of positions."

"Not alone. No one is getting left behind this time, not while I'm there. I may be in the next room but I won't let anything happen to you," Lis replied defiantly.

Ellana was touched but she doubted that Lis was right. If things went wrong then she could be dead in a matter of seconds. She was alone in this. Nevertheless the thought of such danger wasn't the cause of her dread. Above all else she feared failing her people.

"We should probably go back in; they'll be waiting for us," Ellana said, getting to her feet.

She needed distraction again.

* * *

The reflection in the mirror was not pleasing to say the least. Ellana couldn't believe that she would have to go out in public like this, let alone dance. If she stood completely still it covered a fair amount but the second she moved skin flashed through. It was more a two piece than a dress; the top only connected to the skirt by a few strings of silver beading across her midriff. The only saving grace was the colour. It was a pale blue that even she had to agree did bring out her eyes. The withered woman from the dance hall stood expectantly at her side but she ignored her. She turned to her friends, all too aware that the movement had revealed much through the slits in her skirt.

"What do you think?" she asked.

"Well… You look like you'd be at home in a brothel, I guess," Shivra remarked.

Lis and Miris both wore similar outfits to Ellana but Shivra remained in normal clothing. Ellana had spoken with her earlier about remaining outside the dance hall. Lis had been right; she hadn't been thrilled by the idea. She argued at first, not wanting to leave her friends but eventually she saw Ellana's point of view. She agreed it probably wasn't the best place for her.

"Not that that's a bad thing! It's what we're going for after all!" Shivra continued following a nudge from Lis.

"Don't listen to her. You look damn good," Miris remarked with a sly smile.

Lis reached out a hand to touch the fabric of Ellana's skirt looking surprisingly crestfallen.

"It looks more expensive than mine," she said, looking down at her pink outfit with disappointment.

"And so it should be," the withered woman piped up. "She must be the best if he is going to want her. Give me a turn so I can check the fit."

Ellana did as she was told. Behind her friends the door opened as she spun. Solas came through, stopping suddenly when he saw her. Between the obstruction of the others their gaze met and his momentary awe ebbed away. Her friends parted when they saw him. He came to rest before her, expression now pained.

"Could we have the room?" Ellana asked.

The withered woman made to argue, no doubt wanting to make even more adjustments but Ellana's friends ushered her out. The door clicked shut behind them.

"Vhenan you look…" he tapered off, unable to find the words. "You look positively ethereal. So much so that it…"

She kissed him, interrupting his worries. She didn't need to hear them as his tone already spoke volumes. She leaned in to him, hands tracing his shoulders. His fingers brushed against the naked skin of her back making a shiver run irresistibly down her spine. She pulled away knowing they were getting in to dangerous territory. Although it would have been a welcome distraction for them both now was not the time.

"Is everything prepared?" she asked, hoping to conceal her rejection.

"As much as it can be," he replied, looking slightly confused by the sudden change in mood. "Everyone in the…establishment…has been fully briefed. Our escape is ready."

"What about the residents?" she questioned.

"All non-essential parties have already been removed. Only the dance hall workers and our own agents remain," he responded.

"Will that be enough to make it seem genuine?" she asked in a worried tone.

"It should be. The city posts guards to protect the humans; they don't care about the elves. Their patrols focus on the hall, where the humans are, so as long as there are enough of us in that area then there should be no problem," he mused.

"But what if tonight they go further afield?" she worried.

"That is unlikely," he replied, with a doubting look. He touched her shoulder reassuringly. "Even if it were to happen, we could just trigger the distraction early. You don't have to worry about this, vhenan. It is my concern, not yours."

"Is fire truly the answer? Isn't that a bit too dangerous?" she continued, not feeling at all reassured.

"Out of everything we have tried it worked the most efficiently," he replied, taking great pains to keep any annoyance out of his tone. This was not the first time he had given her this explanation. "One whiff of fire and the guards evacuate themselves and any humans, leaving the elves to deal with what they view as their own problem. That gives us the perfect opportunity to get the last of the residents out with no one the wiser."

"I suppose," she said, looking down at the ground sadly.

"What about you," he asked, lifting her chin so she looked at him. "Do you feel ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," she replied with a dejected smile.

"Do you want to go over it one last time?" he asked already knowing the answer.

"They'll take me in. His guards will still be there. I…" she paused, not knowing what word to use, "…convince him to lose the guards. Once he's alone I use the blade with the sleeping draught to take him out and finally I signal. Job done."

"Precisely," he said with a nod. "Although...you'll need this."

He handed her a small object wrapped in some fabric. She unravelled it to reveal a small blade before wrapping it back up again.

"An arm or a leg will do. As long as it gets in to the bloodstream it will work. Hopefully you can find somewhere safe to keep it," he said, looking sceptically at her outfit.

She smiled weakly as she tucked it away within her top. When it was secure she looked back up at him. His expression had darkened and she could tell he was struggling. He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off.

"Don't," she said abruptly. "Don't ask me not to do this." She reached up around the back of his neck. "Please just be here, at least for now." She stood on her tiptoes to meet his height and placed her forehead against his. "I need you."

When the inevitable knock came at the door neither one moved from the other.

"Ellana, it's time," Lis said, cracking the door open.

"Damn," Ellana whispered as she lowered herself back down to her own height.

"We have to go," Lis prompted from the open doorway.

"I know, I know," Ellana replied, turning around to check herself in the mirror one last time.

Solas stayed where he was looking even more desolate as she bustled around the room nervously. She headed towards the door but stopped short of reaching Lis.

"Wait…" she said, turning back.

She strode back over to him, turned him around and kissed him deeply.

"That's better," she said smirking up at him before she left without another word.

* * *

The dance hall was a lot busier than Ellana had expected which made her all the more nervous. She knew that the more people there were the less likely they were to notice something amiss but she still worried nonetheless. Even with the added noise, more people meant more eyes and ears to catch them out. So far Ellana had been kept largely contained in one of the back rooms. The withered woman feared that if Ellana was allowed out on the floor then another patron may take a shine to her. In no position to refuse, Ellana could be kept from her task at precisely the wrong time. She needed to remain ready. Luckily, Lis and Miris hadn't entirely abandoned her. Every so often one of them would come back to keep her company when they could. Lis was still with her from her last update.

"Bloody lechers the lot of them," Lis mused. "Although, I have been offered a small fortune for my services. Seriously, we're talking early retirement type money. It's funny what people will do if you keep saying no."

"You considered it didn't you?" Ellana added with a giggle.

"A little bit," Lis replied, joining the giggles. "It would be wonderful. I could have a nice little cottage in the woods. Maybe get in to gardening…"

"Gardening?!" Ellana asked incredulously.

"Yeah… That's what people do isn't it? I'd need something to do with my time," Lis responded.

"Of course but gardening? Surely there's something more interesting you could be doing with your imaginary whore money?" Ellana remarked, laughing once more.

"I guess… Stop ruining my fantasy!" Lis retorted, nudging Ellana in the ribs playfully.

Miris appeared in the doorway. She smiled briefly at the sound of their laughter but once Ellana met her gaze she frowned.

"He's here isn't he?" Ellana asked, already knowing the answer.

Miris nodded. Ellana got up from her chair with a sigh.

"Well it is about time, it's been nearly an hour hasn't it?" she remarked, trying to seem nonchalant. "What's he like?"

"Surprisingly short for a human, acting like he owns the place, the usual," Miris responded. She took Ellana by the shoulder. "You can definitely take him," she said with a reassuring smile.

The withered woman entered the room as Ellana replied with her own weak smile.

"There's been a change of plans," the aged elf said, sounding disgruntled. "He won't accept just you, he wants options."

"Options? But that's not what we had planned! It has to be me!" Ellana replied in a worried tone.

"I know that. This is what we're working with so roll with the punches," the woman retorted clearly getting annoyed. "I've assembled some of my…lesser…girls to go in a line up with you. If you play it right, he should select you and we won't have a problem."

"He wants to line us up like cattle?" Ellana asked with disgust.

"That's the world we live in," the withered woman replied as she took Ellana by the arm and led her from the room.

"Good luck!" her friends called after her as she disappeared from sight.

* * *

The Magister certainly was shorter than she had expected. Perhaps because of the danger he presented she had imagined a much more intimidating form. He was just a man; a short, balding, Tevinter stereotype of a man. She could smell his cologne from the other side of the room as he started his walk down the line of gathered elven dancers. Two guards followed alongside him, enjoying the sights with just as much enthusiasm. Each elf they passed simpered sweetly but with each attempted seduction the Magister's cruel features contorted into a frown. Ellana took note of his reaction and smiled knowingly. He didn't want another dutiful servant – ready and willing. That had probably lost its appeal a long time ago. He wanted someone to tear down; truly hurt. She threw her shoulders back and held her head high. When he reached her she made no attempt at seduction. She fixed him with a cold glare, hoping to portray an air of superiority. He looked briefly taken aback before hunger took over. Her skin crawled as he looked her up and down but she didn't flinch.

"This one will do nicely," he said, his facial hair somewhat hiding his horrendous grin. "Bring her to perform for us shortly."

He left the room in discussions with the withered woman but Ellana didn't pay attention to them. Success was satisfying but she was too focused on her next task to really enjoy it. She let out a long sigh as the withered woman returned to the room. The other dancers filed out.

"Are you ready?" she asked, taking Ellana by the arm.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she replied.

* * *

In an alleyway at the side of the dance hall Shivra and Solas waited. Other agents were nearby but they kept a suitable distance. A congregation of suspicious elves would only attract the attention and that was the last thing they needed. Solas paced back and forth periodically turning his attention towards one of the dance hall windows. Shivra leaned against a wall watching him with annoyance.

"Are you going to pace the whole damn night? That definitely won't get annoying," she remarked sarcastically.

Solas ignored her, too lost in his own fears to even hear her. She let out an angry sigh.

"Seriously, will you just stop?!" she said much louder this time. "She'll be fine so calm the fuck down."

Finally hearing her, he stopped but it wasn't enough to quiet his mind.

"If anything happens to her I'll…"

"Yeah, I know," Shivra interrupted. "You'll kill him and probably everyone even vaguely related to the guy. Trust me; I'll be right there with you." She shook her head as he started pacing again. "I don't get you. If you're so worried about her then go in yourself. Fuck the plan. I don't know why it needs to be so damn complicated anyway. Go in, kill the guards, grab the guy and you're done. Pretty sure you can handle it."

"And what happens then?" he asked, stopping in his stride.

"What do you mean? Job done, it's over," Shivra replied.

"This place is teeming with city guardsmen; even the hall itself is not free of them. You honestly think the blatant murder of two humans would go entirely unnoticed?" Solas added impatiently.

"Well, no…but that's hardly a problem," she replied defiantly. "So you kill them too. Big fucking deal, what's the loss of a few more humans?"

"So I kill his bodyguards and the city guards but what happens when they inevitably call in more of them? I kill them as well I presume? And then what? I keep killing until no one is left?" he responded angrily. He was growing increasingly tired of her stupidity and his patience was thinning. "But someone will of course escape or at the very least notice the unending pile of corpses. They will tell others and then the world will know of us. So not only am I killing countless people but I am also dooming our entire cause. You may not have any qualms about murdering scores of humans but…"

"All right! I get it!" Shivra exclaimed, raising her hands in contrition. "You don't have to be such a dick about it. I was just trying to help!"

"Well I don't need your help. What I need is for Ellana to come out of this unhurt or I will never forgive myself," he responded, resuming his pacing.

Shivra grabbed him roughly by the shoulders.

"For fucks sake, she'll be fine!" she exclaimed, shaking him slightly. "She can handle some fucking Magister and his cronies! She's just as much of a badass as you are! So stop being so pathetic and have some damn faith in your woman!"

Solas was about to reply when a light from the dance hall window distracted him. Where there had been nothing but misted glass there was now a lit red lantern hanging.

"That's the signal; she's in," he gasped, nerves rising again. "She's with him now. We need to move."

Shivra looked confused but when she turned to follow his gaze realisation dawned in her expression. Solas left her where she stood to rally the other agents.

"You two, ensure the distraction is fully prepared and wait for the signal. You three, prepare the others for evacuation. You and you, with me," he ordered to each in turn.

The elves nodded in response with some leaving to attend to their duties. Shivra came to his side.

"So it's game on!" she said with a nervous laugh. "Um…Solas, when this is done could you maybe not tell Ellana I said she was a badass? Wouldn't want it to go to her head or anything…"

Even with his nerves he couldn't help but laugh for a few blissful seconds.

* * *

Ellana waited nervously behind a sheer curtain. She took deep breaths as quietly as she could. She needed to calm herself but she was very aware that any sign of weakness could ruin everything. She had already seen the room during her preparations so taking stock of her surroundings was not a concern. It was the largest and best decorated private room as he would naturally demand but what he didn't know was that it was an essential part of the plan. It had to be this room but luckily he was as much of a slave to habit as most people. Ellana closed her eyes as she tried to lose herself in thought. Fear kept creeping in and she ran a hand nervously across her bare stomach. She focused herself, imagining she was anywhere else but here. She imagined home, she imagined Solas. Her mind filled with thoughts of their most intimate moments and he felt so close she could touch him. The memory of his scent filled her nostrils and she felt a shiver run down her spine. Calm washed over her.

Music started from beyond the curtain and she emerged no longer burdened by fear. She danced with ease, her mind keeping her in their tower together. Lights bathed the small stage on which she danced but the rest of the room was cloaked in darkness. She couldn't see her true audience; not the Magister, not his guards or the withered woman playing her music. From her perch she could pretend without challenge. Even the admiring noises did nothing to deter her from her fantasy but beyond it all she knew it wouldn't be enough. She had to convince him to want her alone and she couldn't do that at a distance. The darkness beckoned. She stepped down off the stage with her hips still moving rhythmically. Painfully slowly she closed the distance between her and her charge. The nearer she got the more the smell of his cologne overwhelmed. It pushed Solas's earthy scent from her mind, pulling her back to reality. When she reached him she turned away to try and hide some of her disgust. He didn't seem to notice, too engrossed in her snaking form. She closed her eyes again as she danced and retreated back in to memory. She only needed a few more minutes, if she could get through that then it would be over. She'd saved the best memories for this moment and with them she felt more than capable. She turned to face the small man, inching closer with each movement. She touched him and he did nothing to stop her. He touched her too and she couldn't hide away anymore. Revulsion tingled through her and she struggled to keep it under control.

 _"He's going to die. He's going to kill him,"_ she repeated over and over in her mind as she twisted against the Magister.

The thought brought her surprising satisfaction. She felt strong again. She looked him easily in the eye, her satisfaction reading as something else entirely.

"Leave us, all of you," he said, licking his lips disgustingly.

 _"He's definitely going to kill you,"_ Ellana thought with a sly smile as the guards and the withered woman got up.

Ellana felt her nerves rise in her chest as they all left. She needed to be certain they were well away before she made her move. A mistake now could mean disaster. The guards would likely not stray far but they would be distracted if all went to plan.

"So what is your price my dear?" the small man asked beneath her.

"Four Sovereigns," she replied, running a hand along his neck as seductively as she could manage.

"That's awfully steep for a…" he started.

"I'm worth every bit I assure you," she interrupted, her other hand travelling inside her top.

"Very well," he replied with a leering grin. "For that price I presume you won't mind the travel to my quarters."

She stopped, taken aback.

"No, I'm not leaving the Alienage," she said becoming somewhat panicked.

"You will. If it's about more money then we can negotiate on the way," he continued, pushing her aside to rise.

He tried to call out innocently to his guards but one of Ellana's gloved hands stifled him just in time. His eyes widened beneath her as she pinned him down with her legs. He grabbed at her, scratching her neck but she quickly subdued his movement. With her other hand she rummaged for the blade. In a moment of panic he bit down on her hand but it wasn't enough to stop her. She plunged the blade in to his upper arm and he let out a muffled scream of pain. Within moments he went limp beneath her and she let out a long sigh.

* * *

Ellana snuck over to the door and listened intently. Over the loud music outside she couldn't hear much but to her relief there was no sign of anyone. Fumbling with the door she removed a small piece of decoration to reveal a deadbolt beneath. Holding her breath, she latched it across as quietly as she could. She padded over to the far wall and knocked four times. Rumblings of activity emanated through the wall. She could hear dragging and whispered voices. A clicking sound came from the wall and she stood clear. A wooden panel opened inwards and floods of outside air rushed in. Solas was the first through.

"Vhenan, are you hurt?" he whispered as he hugged her.

"It's okay, I'm fine," she replied, choking on her own words.

Two other elves had entered through the panel. They set to work moving the Magister beyond the couple's notice.

"You're bleeding," Solas said, touching the now red mark on her neck.

"He managed to scratch me, it's nothing," she replied.

Solas still looked worried but he released her from his grasp. Ellana watched as the two elves dragged the Magister out towards the street.

"Wait, won't someone see them?" she asked in a panic.

"No, it's all taken care of," Solas replied, gesturing to the elves to continue.

She looked quizzically at him but he wouldn't meet her gaze. He looked everywhere but at her. Hurt rose painfully in her chest.

"You can't even look at me can you?" she said sadly. "You're ashamed…"

"I am ashamed but not of you, never of you," he said firmly. He touched her cheek and their eyes met. "I wanted to protect you but yet here I am putting you in danger; making you in to something you were never supposed to be."

"Don't say that. I am who I chose to be," she replied, touching a hand to his chest.

He shook his head, his expression filled with regret. He made to argue but didn't get far.

"Hurry up!" Shivra called from outside, putting in a little effort to keep her voice low.

With their moment interrupted, Solas took Ellana by the arm and led her outside. Just beyond their exit a horse and cart sat on one side obscuring the view from down the alley. Next to the cart lay an open crate in to which the elves were trying to stuff the unconscious Magister. The sight would have been exceedingly amusing if it wasn't for the current mood. Shivra grinned as she handed Ellana a bundle.

"You should probably change," she remarked. "You're not going to get out of the city looking like that."

She did as she was told. The alleyway tapered off in to a dead end at the other side where she took the bundle. Behind a stack of boxes she changed in to the plain clothing Shivra had given her. When she returned to the others the elves had succeeded in their task and were now loading the crate on to the cart with some difficulty. Amongst the other nondescript items that littered its surface the crate looked natural. He truly had thought of everything.

"Signal the distraction as soon as we are free of the gates," Solas ordered one of the agents as Ellana reached his side. He turned to her with a hint of a smile. "We have to go."

"We? What about the others? Shouldn't we stay and make sure everyone gets out?" she asked.

"We can't," he replied, shaking his head. "I have to go with them. If he were to wake then they will need me; they can't handle him on their own." He climbed up in to the cart. "And you, if his guards were to see you helping the others…you'd do more harm than good, vhenan."

Ellana shook her head defiantly.

"We have to go. Everything is set. The people here will be fine, I promise you. You have to trust me that this is for the best," he continued, outreaching a hand to her hopefully.

Ellana trusted him entirely but she still found it hard to let go. Even though she knew she may be more of a hindrance than a help she still found relinquishing control difficult. The fact that Solas would also be absent didn't help. She had become so used to the idea of him as a sort of safety net; an instant answer to any challenge. Thinking about it now made her question herself. She knew she should trust the others to deliver but it was not as easy as it should be.

"You've done your part," Shivra said, touching Ellana's shoulder and making her jump. "Now it's our turn."

Finally Ellana nodded. She grabbed her resistant friend in to an embrace.

"You better not fuck this up, you hear?" Ellana exclaimed, as she released Shivra. "Good luck and look after the others."

Ellana took Solas's hand and her friend waved her off dismissively. As they rode away in to the city she could hear Shivra calling out behind them.

"Fuck luck, we've got fire!"

* * *

For the city guard it had been a night like any other before the fire started. Guards patrolled to ensure the patrons were kept safe and those taking a break took in the delights for themselves. The flames started in a nearby house and, given the wooden nature of the majority of the buildings, it spread fast. Luckily the guard was well practiced given the spate of recent fires that no one thought to question. They quickly evacuated all the humans without any real incident. The only snag was a couple of Tevinter patrons insisting one of their party was missing but, given the lack of any evidence to the contrary, they were easily overridden. Everyone that mattered was, by all accounts, safe. However, as time wore on events took a turn. In past instances the elves had swiftly dealt with the fire themselves but this time it continued to spread. Measures were taken to prevent any spread to other districts but beyond that no one thought to offer any assistance. It wasn't until the fire fizzled out that the guards decided to check on what remained.

A contingency of the Denerim City Guard entered the Alienage the next morning to a ruin. Rain hit the embers that still burned amongst the ashes and white clouds billowed forth. Buildings were entirely destroyed or blackened beyond recognition. Unheeded the breeze carried ash through the ruined streets making the guards cover their eyes. In places small fires still smouldered. Beyond the crackling there was nothing but silence. The guards fanned out to check the wreckage, finding nothing. Not a soul walked the streets and neither were there any sign of bodies. They reformed in the centre all wearing expressions of confusion.

"Where the fuck are all the elves?" asked one man, speaking the minds of all the others.


	19. Hiding

The Magister stirred. Beneath his knees the ground felt cold and hard, an unfamiliar feeling for one normally used to opulence. Even in his dazed state he could tell that he was restrained and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't formulate a reason as to why. Slowly coming to his senses he heard mumbling voices beyond. He tried to open his eyes but they were too heavy, twitching uselessly with his attempts.

"Oh! I think he's waking up," he heard a female voice say.

She was close; he could hear her breathing. He tried to move but found himself unable. He struggled again to open his eyes as his mind raced in confusion. His heavily blurred vision slowly focused on a face. As he recognised her his memories of the previous night gradually returned.

"You…you whore!" he mumbled.

"Well hello there sleepy head," Ellana remarked with a sly smile.

"You stabbed me, you whore!" he continued, becoming more incensed as his faculties returned. He looked around the room still bleary eyed. "Where am I? What have you done to me?"

"Nothing you don't deserve," she replied, grin still fixed.

"You'll pay for this you stupid bitch! You will suffer the whole weight of the Imperium, wait and see! They will crush you like the insignificant ant you are," he exclaimed.

"Even your precious Imperium cannot save you now," a male voice said from the shadows.

The Magister struggled to see beyond Ellana with his vision still shaky. She had turned to the source of the voice and her grin widened wickedly. Following her gaze he could only see blurs of gold glimmering through the shadows.

"As far as they are concerned you have simply vanished; lost to vice like so many of your brethren," the voice continued. He was growing closer and the flecks of gold slowly formed in to a full being. "They will look for you, I have no doubt but even if they do come to understand your predicament it will be much too late."

"Where am I? What is this?" the Magister asked, looking up at Solas with his first real taste of fear.

"Where you are is inconsequential. What matters is your co-operation," Solas replied.

"Co-operation? Is that it?" the Magister questioned disbelievingly. "Whatever you want I can give you, provided you grant me my freedom of course. Money, power…"

"Negotiation is pointless," Solas interrupted. "You are no hostage, nor will your riches save you. I need information and you are going to give it to me."

The Magister laughed coldly before speaking, "Information? You kidnapped me, a Magister of the Tevinter Imperium to answer some questions! You must be desperate. Whatever information you need I am already certain I will not give you. If you think I would ever give up the secrets of my nation to an elf of all people then you are a fool!"

"I thought you might say that but no matter, you will relent…eventually," Solas replied.

Ellana smiled at his side but he didn't return her mood.

"Vhenan, leave us. I would not have you see this," Solas said, not taking his cold eyes from the Magister.

"What? No!" Ellana replied with genuine surprise. "I am as much a part of this as you are!"

"No, I will not have you here. You should not see me this way. Please, vhenan," he continued.

"No!" she retorted. She turned him to her hoping to appease. "I don't want you to hide, even in this. I want to…"

A cold, mocking laugh from the Magister interrupted her argument.

"How you imbeciles managed to pull this off is beyond me! Look at you, such concern for a vapid whore! Pathetic," the Magister remarked, erupting in to laughter again.

He was stifled instantly when Solas's hand found his throat; crushing his windpipe beneath his thumb.

"Laugh again," he threatened.

The Magister grinned taking great pains to let out a few more notes of derisive laughter. Solas's eyes glowed and the laughter turned to screams. Ellana's breathing became more rapid at the sight unfolding before her. She felt lost somewhere between fear and captivation. The screams stopped and the Magister slumped to the floor. Ellana stood wide-eyed.

"Go, vhenan! Please!" Solas begged.

Solas had regained the look of wild desperation that had disturbed her so long ago. A dark part of her wanted to hear more screams by his hand but she couldn't watch him slip away from himself again. She didn't know what else to do so she ran.

* * *

It was hours before Solas appeared in the office. He wouldn't look at Ellana as he entered. The air around him felt undeniably heavy making her hold her breath in anticipation. He said nothing. He closed the door behind him roughly as she jumped down from the desk where she had been perched. A silence passed between them while he fixed his gaze to the floor. She could tell he didn't want to talk about it and she was glad. She didn't want to talk either. She strode over, forcing him against the door with her kiss. One of his hands went to her chin to resist but she caught it in her own. She entwined her fingers with his , kissing him more deeply. In the moment his racing mind slowed to a stop and he relented. What had happened before no longer mattered, not beneath her. He grabbed her hair as he kissed her, turning her against the wall. He tore at her clothing and she at his. She whined eagerly, wrapping her legs around him. In that moment he saw nothing else but her grey eyes, shining brilliantly beneath him. In that moment nothing mattered but her.

* * *

"Vhenan, wake up! This is getting ridiculous!"

Ellana awoke being shaken rather more roughly than she would have liked. She scrunched up her eyes at the unwelcome light and let out an angry noise.

"No..." she whined, turning back over and covering her head.

"The sun is up and you should be too!" Solas mocked.

"No! Can't we just have a day in bed? Please! We've more than earned it!" she begged.

"We've been away for days, Ellana. There's work to be done, meetings to be had, agents to organise. I can't have a day off no matter how much I may want to," he replied, stroking her arm pacifyingly. "You can do as you will but there is no way you're lounging in my bed for the whole day. I've got too much to do!"

"Too tempting for you?" she asked with a sly smile. He did not look amused. "Fine! You're no fun," she whined, throwing the sheets off dramatically. "But I'm having a bath before I go, you're not going to deny me that!"

He sighed.

"If it will get you out of bed then be my guest," he remarked.

He got up, kissing her lightly before he left. Ellana curled the covers back around her. With the Magister dealt with she no longer had a distraction and her fears were resurfacing all too quickly. She didn't know how much longer she would be able to keep them hidden.

* * *

Ellana sat in the forest with Lis by her side. Amongst the trees Shivra and Miris chased one another. They insisted it was training and Miris certainly needed some improvement when it came to sneaking but Ellana wasn't convinced. They were having far too much fun, descending in to giggles every few minutes. Ellana couldn't help but think of Areina. She would have loved this.

"So the Magister has given up no secrets so far then?" Lis asked, breaking Ellana away from her thoughts and back to their conversation.

"No, not so far. He must be tougher than he seems. I'm not sure I could hold out for that long," Ellana mused.

"I'm glad he's hurting him; about time the bastard got a taste of his own medicine," Lis added. "But still, it can't be easy. I mean, it's very 'Dread Wolf' but does it worry you, knowing what Solas is doing?"

"No, I know who he is inside. I know he wouldn't be doing it unless he felt he had to. What concerns me is the toll it's taking on him. He already has so much and with this on top of it all… I'm not sure how much more he can take," Ellana replied sadly. "There are times I catch him unaware and it's like he's lost. He's been visiting the Fade even more regularly and I know it sounds stupid but sometimes I worry he just won't come back."

"So ask him why? Try and understand; maybe that will alleviate your fears?" Lis offered.

"I'd rather not nag him," Ellana replied. She paused, wrestling with the truth. "Honestly, I'm afraid what he might say. He visits the Fade to find answers and I'm not sure I want to know the question."

"You're worried it's about you?" Lis questioned.

Ellana looked away. Lis had voiced her own suspicion and she didn't want to face it. The sound of quick footsteps crackling the fallen leaves gave her the perfect interruption. They came from the wrong direction to be their friends so it piqued both of their curiosity. They got up off the ground expectantly as an elf emerged from the underbrush. Ellana vaguely recognised him from around their home but not enough to put a name to the face. The elf stopped a short distance from them to catch his breath before speaking.

"Lady Ellana, you are needed at the forward camp urgently," he said through breaths. "Fen'Harel requests your presence personally."

"At the forward camp? Why? Is there trouble?" Ellana asked, perplexed.

"They didn't say why, just to fetch you. They said nothing about any danger," he replied uselessly.

"Very well…" Ellana conceded with a sigh leaving Lis in the forest. "Lead on."

* * *

The elf led Ellana out in to the forest beyond the Eluvian. A camp, the largest of theirs in the world beyond the mirrors, stretched out within the trees. A small crowd was gathered at its farthest reach. Solas and Varden stood opposite an accosted looking elf. He didn't look like one of their own and agents stood on either side of him, not restraining but close. As Ellana neared she could see a strained look on Solas's face.

"Good, you've finally arrived," he said when he saw her.

"What's going on here?" she questioned, still utterly confused.

"Our scouts found this individual," Solas gestured towards the unfamiliar elf, "approaching our camp. He won't say who he is or why he is here; he just keeps asking for you."

"For me? Why?" Ellana asked looking quizzically at the elf before her.

"I have absolutely no idea. He insists he will only speak to you," Solas answered sounding frustrated.

"You're Ellana Lavellan? Finally! You do look like the picture!" the elf remarked sounding unsurprisingly fearful.

"The picture?" she asked still lost.

The elf reached tentatively in to his clothing. The guards moved to react but a gesture from Solas stopped them. The elf produced some papers from an inside pocket. He rifled through them until he found the one he needed and handed it to her. She opened it up to reveal a somewhat crude drawing of her. In the corner her name and a description were scrawled in oddly familiar handwriting.

"I was sent to deliver this letter to you," the elf continued nervously. "To your hands only; those were my orders!"

He held out an envelope which she looked at suspiciously.

"Wait, you were sent to deliver a letter to Ellana? From where?" Solas asked, holding out a hand to stop her accepting the elf's offering.

"Tevinter. My master sent me. It should all be explained in the letter," he replied, outstretching the paper insistently.

"It's a letter, Solas," Ellana said, taking it from the elf's hand. "Calm down."

Her curiosity was overwhelming as she opened up the envelope and unfolded the letter. The paper was thick and the ink finely coloured. A pleasant scent emanated from it as she scanned the pages looking for an author. Solas glared at the letter with suspicion. Ellana gasped as she came to the looping signature.

"It's from Dorian!" she exclaimed, unable to conceal her joy.

"What?! Dorian?! How did he even find us?!" Solas raved.

Ellana ignored him. Flicking quickly back to the first page she started reading.

 _"Dearest Ellana, I hope this letter finds you well, if it even finds you at all. I do apologise for the cloak and dagger method; I did not know where to send a raven and I doubted your people would accept a regular courier. I had to be certain this letter would reach you personally and I did not know of another way. First things first, the individual who delivered this letter is my first and last elven slave as a Magister. Do not despise me for using him for without his aid this letter would not have reached you. Tell him I free him from his bondage both to me and to my homeland."_

Ellana looked up at the elf in front of her.

"You're free," she said, smiling broadly.

The elf looked perplexed.

"He says he doesn't want you to be a slave anymore. You've done what he asked and now you're free to live whatever life you choose," Ellana continued.

"What?" he breathed. "That can't be…"

Ellana held out the letter and pointed to the lines in question. The elf read intently and then let out a surprising squeal.

"But that's… What do I do now?! I…" he struggled.

"You can do whatever you want," Ellana replied savouring the feeling that radiated through her.

"No! He can't just go," Solas exclaimed. "We need to know what he knows; how he found us!"

"We're not exactly hiding, Solas," Ellana responded gesturing to the myriad of people and structures around them. "You said yourself that the Inquisition likely knows of this place so is it such a far cry that Dorian also knows? It wouldn't take much for him to find out. Let him go and live his life, gods know he's earned it."

"Fine, have it your way," Solas reluctantly replied.

With a casual gesture from him Varden took the former slave off to the side. To Ellana's surprise he spoke reassuringly to the nervous man. She smiled with satisfaction before turning her attention back to the letter. The elves around them took their cue and gradually dispersed.

"What does it say?" Solas asked, craning over her shoulder to catch a glimpse.

"Can't you just let me read?" Ellana replied angrily. "If you really have to know then I'll give you a summary once I'm done but for now will you just stop!"

* * *

 _"With that out of the way I can speak freely. My friend, I could not leave things the way we did. Words cannot express how sorry I am for all that happened. I hope you have managed to find some semblance of peace in spite of everything. It took time but I understand now why you said what you did. All is forgiven. You may well have saved my life and I would return the favour. The Inquisition mounts support against you; both with Orlais and Tevinter. They make progress with the Orlesians but Tevinter is uncertain. The bad blood of our pasts has not yet passed it seems. I tell you this not as a betrayal to my own but for the same reason that you told me what you did: I would not see you die, not yet. We may not agree but I still value you as my friend. I cannot give up on you yet.  
_

 _I do not expect a reply; this letter may never find you and I understand the problems our correspondence could create but I still hope. We may be on different sides and it may be naïve of me but I hope our friendship can endure._

 _Sincerely, Dorian"_

Tears swelled in Ellana's eyes as she re-read the last portion of the letter. She hadn't been able to stop since they returned to the tower. She'd already summarised the contents for Solas. He looked at her now with the same sceptical expression he had worn since their return. She didn't know what to say. She had thought she would never hear from Dorian again and the sudden shock had overwhelmed her with emotion. She had not wanted to lose him but she would not have blamed him for letting her go after all she had done. Even still, he hadn't given up on her and that meant the world.

"I have to reply," she finally said.

"Ellana, no. He's working with our enemies. You cannot trust him. This could all be a ruse to get information from you," Solas replied.

Ellana wasn't surprised by Solas's reaction in the slightest. He had never expressed any particular dislike for Dorian beyond his heritage but Ellana doubted that he ever had any real trust for the man. He'd always appeared to have some trouble understanding their relationship. Friends beyond the Fade were not something he seemed to find much value in. Ellana wondered if there was an element of jealousy behind his words. She was the only person he truly shared himself with and she already had enough people vying for her attentions. On top of that Dorian knew her so well; in some ways, better than he did.

"He would never do that. Besides, I don't intend to fill my letter with our secrets. That would be stupid," Ellana responded carefully. "I just want to talk to him…"

"To what end? No good can come of this," Solas continued with annoyance.

"To no end! I just want to talk! I've given up so much already! I don't want to give this up too, can't you understand that?! I need something to remain intact, at least for as long as I can keep it so," she cried, losing control of her emotions.

He looked taken aback by her outburst. After he recovered he came over to her, touching her arm gently.

"I'm sorry, vhenan," he said, taking her in his arms. "I had no idea how important this was to you. I… I should not have presumed. If this is what you want then I won't stand in your way."

She looked down at the letter with eyes brimming. She'd crushed down her feelings about all she had lost for so long that it felt unnatural to let them out. He stroked her cheek as a tear fell. The sound of the door opening made them jump. Ellana turned quickly away to wipe the wetness from her eyes. She turned back to see Solas glaring at the vaguely amused form of Varden.

"I apologise, I should have knocked," he remarked evenly.

"What happened with the slave? Did he decide what he was going to do?" Ellana asked with genuine interest.

"He's going to remain with us for the time being," he said. He turned his attention to Solas. "I'll vouch for him if that is agreeable with you? The time immediately after is always the most difficult. He will need a safe place to work out what he wants from his new life."

"Of course. I'm sure you'll be keeping a close enough eye on him to abate any concerns I may have," Solas replied, his glare turning to a gentle smile.

"Indeed," Varden replied with just a hint of gratitude.

Ellana was surprised. She knew Varden to be infinitely neutral, bordering on emotionless at times. He cared for his own but never showed much concern beyond that. Even in this case he had kept his emotions well-hidden but she could still tell how invested he was. To see him caring so much for a complete stranger perplexed her.

"Unfortunately that was not the only reason I came here," he continued solemnly. "We've received word from our agents at the cave ruins." Solas looked noticeably concerned but Varden pressed on, "All arrived safely but the Inquisition remains camped there. They cannot get access without engaging them."

"Why would they still be there? What could possibly be gained from wasting their soldiers' time in that place?" Solas asked angrily.

"Perhaps they are hoping we will return; a valid hope given the circumstances," Varden mused. "As foolish as it may be, they still present a problem that needs remedied."

Solas looked carefully over at Ellana, not wanting to upset her further.

"If they stand in the way of what we need then we'll have to push through them," she said firmly, all too aware of his concern.

"My thoughts exactly," Varden added with a smile.

"My team and I could…" Ellana started.

"No. You are going nowhere near the Inquisition," Solas interrupted. The glare she gave made him rethink his approach. "You can't do everything, vhenan. You've done more than enough for now. Let our agents handle this while you recover."

Ellana looked down, thinking intently. She desperately wanted to help. The thought of others facing the Inquisition and potentially coming to harm tore at her but he was right. She needed time, more than he knew.

"All right, do whatever you need to," she relented.

Solas nodded appreciatively, failing to hide the surprise that flickered across his face. He had expected an argument.

"Send word immediately to engage. Keep me informed of any developments and when they succeed have the key brought directly to me," Solas ordered.

Varden nodded and left the room with a brief look of satisfaction. Solas turned his gaze to Ellana, his brow furrowed. His suspicion did not escape her notice.

"That was really nice what Varden did for that elf," Ellana mused, unable to hide the slight tremor in her voice. "I didn't know he had it in him."

"Really? It's hardly surprising given his history," Solas replied, still wearing a doubting look.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Varden is a former slave, didn't you know that?" he replied, finally distracted. "Worked for a Magister well in to his adulthood. He doesn't actually talk about it much but I just presumed you knew."

"No! How did he get away from it? Was he released?" she asked feeling annoyed by her own ignorance.

"Of course not." Solas said with a wry laugh. "That is hardly common. He killed his master and ran. The fact that he was able to escape and keep himself hidden is one of the reasons I respect him so much. No easy task."

"He killed his master? How? Why? I mean, I can think of a hundred reasons but why would you work for someone for years and then suddenly up and kill them?" she questioned.

"His master's son murdered his daughter," Solas lamented.

"Oh…" Ellana replied.

* * *

Ellana stood on the hilltop. She had been staring at the Eluvian for nearly an hour wracked with indecision. Around her the world was dark and relatively silent. The only source of light was the moon shining down on her. She reached out a hand to the mirror's surface and it rippled beneath her touch. Leaving now was the right thing to do; the best solution to a bad situation. She wanted so badly to pass through the mirror but she couldn't. She brushed the tears from her eyes and made her way back down the hill.

* * *

Ellana had been pacing around the upper level of the tower for a while. She was gripped with indecision again. She wanted to tell Solas the truth but she feared what would happen when she did. She just wanted more time before their world had to change. Ellana stopped short of the office door. She could hear raised voices and she didn't want to interrupt. She didn't intend to listen but the sound of Solas's angry voice was too much to resist.

"Risk?! Don't play me for a fool! This isn't about loss or gain; you're hesitating! You know exactly what is necessary and yet you do nothing!" shouted a female voice that Ellana didn't recognise.

"Liahra, control yourself. What you may think of me doesn't matter; my answer remains the same," Solas replied sounding thoroughly irritated but still controlled.

"It's her isn't it?! Ever since she came here you've changed! You were never one to shy away from a challenge but now look at you! She is making you weak!" Liahra bellowed just as loudly.

"Speak of her again and you will regret it," Solas threatened. "This conversation is over."

"While you cower away our people suffer. I hope you remember them before it is too late," Liahra stated, finally regaining some control.

Ellana couldn't move in time and the door swung open in front of her. Liahra stopped for a beat before looking down at her coldly.

"What a coincidence," she sneered. "You'll excuse me if I don't introduce myself."

She walked away without another word. Solas sat within eye line of the door, head in his hand. He got up to meet Ellana as she entered.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that," he said looking strained. "Don't take her words to heart; she…she didn't know what she was saying."

"Solas, what was she talking about? What are you hesitating over?" Ellana asked.

"It's nothing," he replied. He paused to consider eventually opting not to keep her in the dark. "It's Tevinter. We have people already stationed there and Liahra is concerned that if we wait any longer they will be in danger. She may be right but we're not ready. We have to know what we're dealing with before we make any rash moves. A mistake now could mean the end of us."

"So you're just waiting on the Magister's information? Once we have that you'll proceed?" she asked feeling sceptical.

"Of course. Once we have that we will know what we need to do. We can minimise the risks and approach from the right angle," he continued.

Slowly she nodded. She walked over to the window looking out to try and distract herself. He watched her with a furrowed brow.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she replied not looking at him.

He shook his head in frustration, clearly not satisfied but Ellana had already decided that now was not the time.

"Maybe she's right. If people are in danger then maybe we should be moving on Tevinter," she said desperately trying to divert him.

"No, not until we are ready. There is danger in all our actions; I won't jeopardise everything we have for nothing," he replied, unable to hide his annoyance.

"But then…" she went on, just happy that he was no longer paying attention to her anymore.

"We have other concerns, Ellana. More pressing ones," he continued.

"We do?" she asked with no idea what he meant. She couldn't help but worry that he was on to her.

"We have a chance for your revenge, vhenan, but we must act fast," he replied, smiling.

"What?! Vivienne has finally left Skyhold?" she asked in shock.

"Yes! Finally! Rumour has it she was no longer welcome which is surprising to say the least," he responded with a wide grin.

Ellana let out a joyous laugh, her fears evaporating for the briefest of moments. She had waited for this day but with everything she had started to forget. Forgiveness wouldn't come so easily, she knew that much.

"But it gets better, guess what she is doing with her new found freedom?" Solas continued, thrilled to see her smiling again.

"I have no idea," she replied with a confused expression.

"She's holding a grand ball of course. What else would one do when in severe danger? Run away? Go in to hiding? Absurd!" he joked.

"You've got to be kidding me," Ellana said with a laugh. "And in a country where everyone wears masks? This is just too perfect."

"If I didn't know her better I would think it was a trap but she would never deign to treat us with such concern," he remarked with a wry laugh. "So we're going to the ball then?"

"We?" she questioned.

"You can't possibly think I would let you do this alone? She's confident for a reason, vhenan. You will need a suitable threat to combat her own," he replied kissing her lightly on the forehead.

"Thank you, you don't know what this means to me," she said leaning in to his chest.

He took her in his arms taking a moment to bask in her scent. Ellana was hiding something and he knew it but he wasn't willing to let this moment go. He wanted to see her happy.

"We're going to have to practice our dancing. I'm sure you'll agree that we can't let the humans shame us," he remarked with a grin.

"That's what you're thinking about? You're ridiculous!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

"We have a rare opportunity, I would not see it wasted," he explained sounding somewhat hurt.

"Fine, we'll show them how it's done," Ellana relented. "I must admit, the thought of spending my free time pressed up against you does have a certain appeal…"

He kissed her, chuckling against her lips.

* * *

The breeze was comforting. Ellana could feel the grass lightly dancing against her skin as she lay. She could hear water trickling uncaringly past her and smell the forest around her. Her eyes were closed but she could tell from the waning warmth that the sun was setting. She didn't want to move yet. Her mind was surprisingly clear, a rare thing these days, and she didn't want to waste it. She sighed, sinking further in to the grasses beneath her. Birds sang above her, heralding in the night. The quiet footsteps of Halla cracked twigs in the trees beyond.

"You're a difficult woman to pin down," said a voice.

Ellana sat up with a start. She hadn't heard anyone approach. To her relief it was just Mirwen.

"You scared the life out of me. How did you sneak up on me like that?" Ellana asked irritably brushing grass from her clothing.

"I may be of an age, my child, but I still have some skills," the Keeper replied with a sly smile. "In need of some respite are you? Peace beyond the disarray? You have been busy after all."

"I just needed some time to myself; time to think about…everything," Ellana mused.

"You have a great deal on your mind, I'm sure. I hear vengeance will soon be yours? That is good," Mirwen replied. She paused to sit down by Ellana's side. "You still haven't told him have you?"

Ellana shook her head, tears brimming.

"How can I? He will be crushed. I thought about running. I thought it would be better, make things easier for him but I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave him," she said, barely holding back the tide that threatened to consume her. "This is going to change everything."

"I know but time will not wait for you, my child," Mirwen replied, taking her hand gently. "He will know soon enough."

"But I don't want this to end!" Ellana cried. "I just wish we could stay this way at least for a little while longer."

"It doesn't have to end. He'll come around, maybe even find some joy in it. This should be a happy occasion after all," Mirwen reassured.

"He won't. He can't take much more and this…this is going to destroy him. Who would want something knowing they are only going to lose it? " Ellana replied sadly.

Mirwen smiled knowingly, "He wanted you did he not?"


	20. The Lady of Iron

**A/N - Sorry...again... I don't even have an excuse this time I am literally just shit.**

 **Surprised no one took a stab at guessing what's up with Ellana; thought I made it pretty obvious. Maybe too obvious in hindsight. It was bound to happen eventually. Oh well...**

 **Have fun! Love you guys!**

* * *

It had started with sly comments from Mirwen. Ellana couldn't remember exactly how far back they began; her knowing remarks hardly a new development. At first Ellana thought nothing of it. It had always been difficult to know when the Keeper spoke truths. The sickness was Ellana's first real clue. In the weeks following her return from the Inquisition she had grown concerned. Solas joined in her worry but luckily for her he didn't think to consider the obvious answer. He insisted she seek assistance and the natural option was unfortunately Mirwen. The Keeper was an accomplished healer amongst her people and more than happy to help. Ellana had even been thrilled when Mirwen told her she knew what was wrong. The comments came again and for the first time she thought to question. She didn't believe it, she couldn't, but the Keeper was unwilling to accept her scepticism. She insisted on involving Firanni, claiming she had knowledge beyond her own. The fire haired girl was the last person Ellana wanted to see so she initially resisted but eventually she felt she had to prove them wrong. An old Dalish concoction yielded the truth; the root of a little known plant ground and added to a sample from her. She waited praying to whoever might listen that nothing would change. When the glass clouded she swore it was wrong but deep inside she knew. Surprisingly Mirwen did not force the issue. She gave her something to lessen the sickness and sent her on her way still denying it. It was days before Ellana came back. She cried for what felt like hours with Mirwen dutifully by her side. Even Firanni tried to reassure her but she wouldn't hear it. When she could cry no more she finally accepted the truth: she was pregnant.

A long time ago Ellana had agreed that a child would not be a wise decision. She had agreed to prevention and with that she hadn't given the possibility a second thought. Now it seemed like one of the worst things that could have happened. Mirwen didn't understand but Ellana knew that Solas would be crushed. The thought of losing the one you love was one thing but the thought of losing a child was even more profound. Her immediate thought had been to run. Thinking she had just abandoned him he could go on; never knowing about their child. Leaving would hurt him but knowing the truth would hurt him more. She was too integral to their progress for her to leave before their work in Denerim was done but the thought never left her mind. She knew that it was the right thing to do but in the end she couldn't. She cursed herself as weak fearing she had doomed them both.

As the days wore on she knew she would have to tell him but he seemed so happy. She couldn't bear to take that from him. Even in his contentment she could still feel a part of him pulling away, trying to save itself from the hurt of inevitably losing her. He wouldn't talk about it but she knew that he was desperately trying to find a way to save her. The thought of adding another to his burden was too much to bear. Her own feelings faded in to the background. So consumed by her fear for him she hadn't given herself time to consider how she felt. Nor did she stop to consider the child.

She hoped she could maintain her ruse for a little while longer and the developments with Vivienne seemed like the perfect opportunity. She could tell he was starting to suspect but she hoped he would be suitably distracted. She tried to force her feelings to the back of her mind and enjoy this last moment of solace as much as she could. It would be over too soon.

* * *

Ellana was avoiding him that much was clear. Over the last few days she had dutifully assisted wherever she could but their time alone was noticeably dwindling. At first Solas put it down to how busy they both were but as time wore on it seemed more deliberate. With so many fronts to consider, Solas often stayed up late in to the night planning. This was hardly irregular but her reaction was. Their nights were often the only time they got to spend together so she would generally work alongside him or, if too impatient, tempt him to bed. Even on especially long nights where neither option worked she would always awaken to his presence gladly. Now she seemed almost relieved to see him still working. With little more than a token conversation she'd go to bed citing tiredness. When he eventually retired he could tell she was awake but she pretended nonetheless. He felt like he was losing her. He questioned and every time she would dismiss him. In worry he slipped too easily in to deception, unable to resist invading her dreams each night in search of answers. Sadly he found nothing but old memories of the time he had hurt her most. It wasn't his first time seeing the mournful singing melding with sobs in the painted room. He hated that dream. Even after all this time it still hurt to see what his actions had wrought. It still made him join in her tears. Seeing her pain again only cemented for him that he had no right to force an answer. He could hardly ask for the truth when he had kept so much from her. She would talk when she was ready, at least he hoped.

The sound of the door to their bedroom opening broke Solas from his depressing thoughts. The two female elves that emerged tried in vain to hide their amusement at his appearance. He couldn't blame them; Orlesian fashion was absurd.

"She's ready for you," one of the women said sheepishly.

"Very well," he replied, getting up from his chair. "You may take your leave."

The elves scurried out as he made his way to the bedroom. Ellana stood in front of a mirror muttering to herself. She kept changing position, switching between a side and front view. She stopped when she heard him, turning with a worried expression.

"Is this too tight? Can you see too much?" she asked, running her hands down her gown nervously.

She looked divine. Her outfit complimented his own: primarily black with gold accents. A beautifully embroidered bodice gave way to a floor length skirt heavy with fabric. In spite of it all the skirt looked light and flowing; the fabric layered to look effortless, like black feathers or waves of dark water. At her chest branches rose up from the embroidery, snaking around her shoulders. Long gloves covered much of her arms with only a flash of skin between. The one flaw was the headscarf she wore. It was necessary to cover her clearly elven ears but wearing her hair down would have looked that much more divine.

"No," he eventually replied. "You look magnificent, vhenan."

"I look like an Orlesian," she replied sounding doubting. "But that's the whole idea isn't it?" She smirked at his appearance. "You look ridiculous."

"Thank you for reminding me," he remarked, taking her in his arms a little more roughly than was necessary. "I'm glad you are amused."

"Aww don't take it personally. I don't think there is a man alive who can pull that off," she said, giggling. She looked up at him gently biting her lower lip. "If it makes you feel better, I still would."

"I bet," he replied, turning her to face the mirror again. He sighed looking at himself. "The things I do for you."

"You are too good to me," she said reaching up behind her shoulder and kissing him.

They both stopped to look at their reflection. Solas thought he saw sadness flicker across her reflected eyes for the briefest of moments.

"You're certain you want to do this? Once we enter the Ghislain Estate there will be no going back," he asked looking down at her with worry.

She nodded not taking her eyes off their intertwined reflection.

"No one would judge you, Ellana. There is still time to let this go," he continued.

"I won't," she said shaking her head mirthlessly. "I can't let it go."

He nodded finally meeting her eyes through their reflection.

"Then neither will I," he said.

* * *

Vivienne had missed the pageantry. Returning to Orlais had been a welcome relief from the tedium of the Inquisition. She watched her gathering unfold from the upper staircase with satisfaction. All was going as expected. Between dances nobles flocked obediently to her. It was gratifying to know her absence had been noted. The band struck up a tune beneath her signalling the start of the next dance. She recognised the music immediately. It brought back memories of a night long ago, a dance with someone special and the many more that had followed it. Thinking of her lost love filled her with sorrow. She turned her gaze back to the dance floor hoping to find distraction from her woes. A couple in the centre caught her attention as well as that of those around them. They danced out with the Orlesian style, ignoring many of the typically choreographed movements that the others kept. Like the other observers Vivienne scoffed at first but despite their poor form the couple kept her attention. They danced together seamlessly, so in tune with one another that it seemed effortless. Both appeared capable but it was their obvious affection that piqued her curiosity. She kept watching as the music tapered to a quiet moment and the man brought the woman in to him, her back against his chest. Those dancing nearby watched them just as intently, barely able to keep up with their own steps. The music built to a crescendo and the man spun the woman out, her jet black skirts billowing. Their fellow dancers gasped in amusement with some abandoning their swaying in favour of the spectacle. The couple seemed oblivious to it all; wrapped up in one another completely. The man lifted the woman off the ground at his side, her masked face meeting his. He spun them both slowly never looking away from her. Vivienne's heart wrenched at the sight as the thought of her own love entered her mind again. Feeling such pain without her consent angered her. She didn't recognise the couple. Having spent so much time in the company of the mask wearing elite Vivienne had become quite adept at recognising people from their body language alone but even with her skills she couldn't place either of them. She wondered how individuals of such little importance had come to attend her gathering. As the tune quieted to its conclusion she made her way through the crowd on the upper balcony. Descending the staircase the piece ended and the couple bowed to one another. Those around erupted in to applause both for the band and in appreciation of the couple themselves. Their adoring onlookers swarmed them, parting them from one another. Vivienne opted to approach the woman presuming she would be the easier target.

"My darling, you should be congratulated on such a marvellous display," Vivienne started.

The adoring public quieted at the sound of their host's voice before dispersing satisfyingly around her. The woman herself did not react, her back turned rudely.

"And for such a relative unknown to the court, it was indeed impressive," Vivienne continued.

To her surprise a laugh erupted from the woman. It was cold, mocking and not at all intimidated. Vivienne's brow furrowed at the sound. In her mind she could just about place it.

"I may be an unknown here," the woman said, finally turning. "But to you? I think not old friend."

Cold grey eyes glinted from beneath the mask.

* * *

Ellana had expected more of a reaction. Beneath her mask she easily hid her disappointment. Vivienne had always been a difficult person to predict but she was ready for anything. The Enchanter was certainly not above attacking her in front of everyone but Ellana had always been fast, too fast for an attack to concern her. Mercifully her adoring fans had taken their leave so at least she wouldn't have them to contend with. Even so she could still feel a myriad of eyes upon them. She hoped Vivienne felt it too. A fight now could only end in utter devastation and Ellana didn't want that on her conscience.

"My dear Inquisitor, this is a surprise," Vivienne said in her typically superior tone. "Attending a ball without an invitation…rather rude, I must say. Tell me, what brings you to my salon after such a long absence?"

Ellana smiled beneath her mask. For now it seemed that the only sparring they would be having was verbal and she was more than happy to oblige.

"My dear Enchanter, don't play innocent with me. You know exactly why I am here," Ellana answered mockingly. "You murdered one of my people, my friend, in cold blood; did you really think I wouldn't come for you?"

"I'm afraid I have no idea what you are referring to! Perhaps you have your information wrong? You always were so quick to trust the wrong people," Vivienne replied. "Not that it isn't wonderful to see you again after so long darling. I must tell you I have heard the most frightful rumours; rumours I wouldn't dare repeat in our present company."

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" Ellana said laughing coldly.

She walked away a distance hoping the Enchanter would follow.

"Of course, darling. I do apologise if I was unclear," Vivienne replied, taking the bait and falling in alongside Ellana. "Perhaps your time amongst the elves has slowed your wits so I will spell it out clearly – one word and this estate will be positively swarming with loyal men willing to lay down their lives to protect me. Whatever game you may be playing was lost the moment you chose to come to my home."

"The game I am playing is for you and I alone. Bring your men in to it and I will be forced to bring in mine," Ellana said, enjoying the feeling of superiority she felt. "And I can tell you right now, he does not play fair."

Ellana couldn't help but smirk at the look in Vivienne's eyes as the realisation dawned. She kept following Ellana despite her brief daze. Ellana could feel the air crackling ever so slightly with each step closer.

"You brought _him_ here?" Vivienne finally asked cursing her own stupidity.

"Of course! A chance to reunite with the enigmatic Madame de Fer, he wouldn't miss that for the world," Ellana replied.

They had come to rest at a group of eagerly talking men. They parted at the sight of the two women. Some nodded appreciatively to Ellana whilst others openly complimented her on her dancing prowess. Behind them her dance partner was just visible. Vivienne couldn't see on account of his mask but she could tell from the glint in his eyes that he was watching her with amusement. Taking respectful notice of Vivienne's icy glare the men politely took their leave one by one until only he remained.

"Madame de Fer, I cannot put in to words how grateful I am to see you again under such fortuitous circumstances," he said.

He took her hand bringing it up to his mask in a polite gesture but she pulled it away.

"Solas…" Vivienne remarked.

"But you don't seem at all pleased to see me, Enchanter," he continued as Ellana came to rest at his side. Standing together both draped in black they made a daunting pair. "You'll forgive my disappointment, I had so looked forward to this moment and to find your enthusiasm lacking…"

"Enough of this! I'm not playing your game, whatever it may be," Vivienne interrupted, her voice wavering. She started backing away. "Leave. Neither of you are welcome here. If you don't then I'll…"

"Careful, Enchanter," Solas interjected, taking her arm to stop her in her tracks. She shook him loose but remained still. "If you value your guests' lives you'll do nothing. I'm sure even someone with a heart as cold as yours doesn't want all those deaths on their doorstep."

Vivienne stood staring at him for a beat too long. Composing herself she closed her gaping mouth and held her head high before turning on her heel and marching off in to the crowd. Ellana made to stop her but Solas held her back.

"Let her go, vhenan. Give her time to stew in her inevitable fate," he said.

Reluctantly Ellana relented. She didn't want to give Vivienne a chance to escalate the situation but if that was her intention she was powerless to stop it. Solas, as was typical of him, had planned for everything including the worst case scenario. She trusted him so she had no concerns for their safety but she did fear that escalation would only lead to more unnecessary death. There was only one person she wanted to see die this day.

"What did she say?" Solas asked, breaking Ellana away from her worries.

"She acted like she had no idea what I was talking about," Ellana replied sounding disgusted. "She probably thinks if I have any doubts I'll let her go. Just shows you how much I must have changed, I guess…"

"You make that sound like a bad thing?" he said carefully.

"It probably is," she remarked, looking out in to the crowd worriedly.

"Vhenan, I know I said there would be no turning back but there is still time. If you no longer want this we can go now," Solas continued hopefully. He took her by the arm and turned her attention to him. "We can…"

"No I have to do this. I have to hear it from her; I have to end it," she said determinedly.

"Nothing can ever…" he tried.

"I know!" she interrupted angrily. "I know… But I have to. I can't let her get away with this."

He nodded sadly knowing there was nothing he could say to make her listen.

"I should go after her. I…I want this over with," she continued, pulling away from him.

"Ellana, wait!" he called, stopping her in her tracks. He caught up to her so they could talk beneath the notice of the crowd. "No matter how tempted you may be to make her feel powerless you cannot give away our full hand. We may need everything we have to get out of this one."

"I won't, don't worry," she replied looking up at him with a smiling glint in her eye.

"I'll stay nearby," he said. "If there is anything…"

"I know," Ellana interrupted.

She felt an overwhelming feeling of appreciation. She wanted to kiss him but their masks made that impossible. On her tiptoes she brought her eyes in level with his as her fingers traced the naked skin of his neck.

"Ar lath ma vhenan," she said before leaving him alone in the crowd.

* * *

Ellana kept her head down as she ascended the staircase. The people she passed took no notice of her, too wrapped up in their own affairs to care who came and went. She hadn't seen where Vivienne had gone but Ellana presumed she would want solitude. The Enchanter's apparent ignorance played heavily on Ellana's mind. She trusted that their information was correct but even so she found herself wondering. The thought that Vivienne would lie about something like that angered her. She needed to make her admit what she had done.

Ellana came to a corridor unsure where to go next. She had been to the upper levels of the chateau once before but she didn't know it well enough. She had no idea where she even was, let alone how to find Vivienne's quarters. There were still some guests roaming the halls upstairs but Ellana didn't dare ask any of them. Even though she was determined to do this alone she couldn't help but wish she hadn't left Solas behind; he had always been better at navigating these sorts of situations. The number of guests thinned out as she pressed on along the corridor. Passing a door she heard a woman cry out. The sound was quickly muffled but it still caught her attention enough to make her stop. She brought herself closer, listening intently and as she did the sounds grew more unpleasant. Without a second thought she burst in to the room. Her gaze followed the sound of a surprised gasp to see a man and woman breaking apart. The man was clearly a guest, dressed in the typical attire of an Orlesian noble but the woman did not share his grandeur. The first thing Ellana noticed was that she was elven and more than likely a serving girl.

"Are you all right?" Ellana asked, forgetting herself entirely.

Her attention was focused purely on the girl but she didn't respond. She looked worn, her expression portraying a mixture of fear and relief. She stared intently at the ground entirely unwilling to make eye contact with Ellana.

The nobleman responded first, "What is the meaning of this? This interjection is entirely…"

"I wasn't talking to you," Ellana interrupted as she put herself between the two of them.

Ellana placed a hand reassuringly on the elf's shoulder but she still wouldn't respond.

"This is preposterous," the man continued. "Do you know…?"

"Shut up," Ellana interrupted again. She turned to the elf, flicking her headscarf back just enough to reveal her own knife like ear. "Tell me, your last thought before I interrupted was it 'yes' or 'no'?"

The elf looked at her with wide-eyed recognition. Ellana pulled her headscarf back in to position outside the noble's eye line. The noble kept up his mutterings but eventually the elf managed to stutter a response.

"No."

"That's what I thought," Ellana responded.

She rounded on the nobleman. She didn't stop to think. Where she was or her goal didn't enter her mind for even a moment. She saw injustice and she acted without hesitation.

"This is preposterous! You have no right! Who do you think you are," the man babbled. "I am the Duke…"

"I couldn't care less who you are," Ellana interjected pulling her headscarf clear of her head. "You should be far more concerned with who I am."

Anger took over. Her hand closed around his throat as she kneed him in the groin. She threw him to the ground but as he fell his head hit hard against the stone fireplace. He crashed to the ground in a heap and blood pooled around his head. Ellana's eyes widened in surprise.

"Is he dead?!" the elf cried out, finally finding her voice.

"Shit…" Ellana remarked.

The elf was starting to panic, growing louder with each second. Ellana rushed to her finally aware of their surroundings.

"Shhh! You need to be quiet!" she insisted. The elf was looking at her with fear but she did quiet down. "Compose yourself and go back to the servant's quarters. There's an elf by the name of Taralan, do you know him?" The elf nodded. "Go to him. Tell him the she-wolf sends her regards. Tell him you are all in danger and he needs to move on Plan B. Can you do that?"

"We are in danger? She-wolf?" the elf stuttered back uselessly still looking frightened.

"Yes. The she-wolf sends her regards; that part is very important. Tell him he needs to exercise Plan B. Those two things are vital if you want to get out of this. Can you manage that?" Ellana repeated.

The elf was starting to calm down and finally she nodded. Ellana wasn't certain that she could trust this elf but she hoped that the threat of danger would be enough to make her act. The elf muttered the instructions to herself as she made for the door.

"Wait! One last thing," Ellana said, stopping the girl in her tracks. "Where are Madame Vivienne's quarters?"

* * *

Vivienne stood at the window with a bird perched on her forearm. She turned to Ellana as she entered. She had removed her mask which let Ellana see her expression. She looked entirely nonplussed by Ellana's sudden presence.

"I expected you sooner my darling," Vivienne remarked coldly. She held out the bird with a smirk. "A letter to the Inquisition detailing our interaction. They will no doubt be very interested to hear of what truly happened here."

Vivienne paused as though she were waiting for a reaction. The cruel joke she was playing was not lost on Ellana.

"Go right ahead, they don't scare me," she replied fuming with anger.

Vivienne looked noticeably disappointed. She released the bird with a sigh.

"It is such a pity to see you so blinded, so unaware of the pitiful state you are in," Vivienne mused.

"And what state is that?" Ellana spat back.

"Do you remember what you were like when he left you the first time? I thought you were stronger than that but you let us all see how his absence shook you," the Enchanter mocked.

Ellana closed her eyes as the rage built up inside her.

"Don't…" she started but Vivienne wasn't about to let up now.

"And then the second time, after all the lies? You were like a shell of your former self. We had all followed you, our great leader standing tall against the tide but what did you become? It was painful, seeing you that way; so weak, so pathetic after all you had been. I bet they were glad when you…"

Ellana couldn't take anymore. She advanced towards the Enchanter, throwing her mask to the ground in anger. Vivienne was ready. With a click of her fingers icicles erupted from the floor in Ellana's path. She dodged them with ease but the threat made her stop her advance.

"What made you go back, Inquisitor? You ignored everything we did to save this world for what? Did he promise you a world together? Was that enough to doom everyone else?" Vivienne continued.

"Stop!" Ellana shouted.

"Did you forget all he did to you? Did you forget what he made you become? I hope not because what do you think will happen when he is inevitably defeated as all madmen are?" Vivienne went on. "You'll be all alone yet again with nothing to show for it but your…"

Ellana snapped. Vivienne let off a spell but she was much too quick for her. She closed the distance between them in seconds and her knife went to the Enchanter's throat.

"Shut up! Shut up!" Ellana cried, spit flying in her rage.

Vivienne raised her hands in surrender but the scowl didn't leave her expression.

"Don't forget that I was there through everything. Can he say the same? He never cared for you. Even now he is still just using you," the Enchanter continued.

"Shut up! He's here now, by my side!" Ellana roared.

"And I'm sure he is gaining something from being here. I'm right aren't I? It was never about you, fool. You can kill me now. You have that power," the Enchanter went on. "But I hope if you do that you remember this feeling because you will feel it again. The world will not wait quietly for destruction. You are going to lose everything that you care for."

"Why? Why did you have to kill her?" Ellana asked, her voice breaking with emotion. "She did nothing to you. She…she was innocent…"

Surprisingly Ellana lowered her blade. Vivienne raised an eyebrow and made to speak but Ellana cut her off.

"Don't insult me with more lies! I know it was you. Tell me the truth!"

Vivienne let out a long sigh. At face value she seemed serene but Ellana could tell that beneath it all she was just as angry as she was. Ellana hadn't expected she would have taken her defection so personally.

"She held the fate of so many in her hands… I had to at least try and save them," Vivienne finally said. "But even still I couldn't. Do you think about them? Were they not just as innocent?"

Ellana's anger faltered. She looked down at the ground in shame.

"I killed one of your people. One allegedly innocent life. Then that monster slaughtered droves. Where is their vengeance? Are their lives somehow less worthy?" Vivienne asked.

"She was my friend!" Ellana interjected uselessly.

"And that somehow makes her more important? What is the life of one girl compared to the many you took? We are the same, you and I. All I did was try and save the lives of the people that mattered to me, just like you. The difference is that, to me, your friend was nothing."

Ellana's gloved hand crushed Vivienne's throat.

"She was not nothing!" she shouted.

She had lost all sense of control. Beneath her ebony hand she could just about feel hot blood seeping.

"Guards are on their way," Vivienne spluttered. "You're not getting away from this."

"You would doom everyone here just for a chance to hurt me?" Ellana asked disbelievingly.

"You're the one dooming them, not me," Vivienne replied. "Just like your friend. If I hadn't killed her, your actions would have. You are a fool. You're going to lose everything you have ever cared for and he will abandon you again without a second thought."

Vivienne laughed coldly. Ellana's hand tightened with a sickening crunch and the Enchanter fell silent. She released her and her body crumpled to the floor in a lifeless heap.

* * *

Solas heard her pained cry from out in the corridor. He had kept his word although he doubted she would be too thrilled to know how closely he had followed her. He'd tried not to listen, keeping a respectful distance from the door but he couldn't help overhearing the shouts. There seemed to be some commotion downstairs so there was mercifully not a soul to overhear the sounds with him. It pained him to hear Ellana so angry but he had expected little else. Vivienne was always going to fight until the bitter end but it was a shame that she had chosen to fight with words. She must have known Ellana better than he had presumed as words were by far the easiest way to truly hurt her. Wounds healed but her doubts always remained. When he heard her cry out he knew the deed must have been done; she'd never let an enemy bear witness to her tears.

She knelt alongside what he presumed to be the Enchanter's corpse. He could hear her sobbing.

"We were cursed from the start," she muttered between sobs.

She didn't react to his entrance or his progress to her side.

"Ellana…"

She looked up at him vacantly. The light was gone from behind her eyes. Beneath her Vivienne lay dead. Blood pooled from wounds either side of her neck. Her head lay at an odd angle, jarred to one side. It was shockingly violent, far more personal than he had expected. Ellana had broken her neck with her bare hands.

"Ellana, we need to go," he tried again.

No recognition crossed her expression. She looked down at the pooling blood blankly. He waited knowing what she was feeling all too well. She had hoped to find some solace in her revenge but now that she had it she felt lost. Vengeance without any other purpose was so often an empty pursuit. He wished he had been able to make her see but the only way she ever could was to let her experience it for herself. Nothing but time could bring her the solace she wanted.

"It's over," she finally said. "It's over but I feel nothing."

"I know, vhenan," he replied sadly. "I'm sorry but it will get better with time. It will be okay…"

"We're not okay," she interrupted, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. "We are…" She stopped, looking around worriedly. "We need to get out of here."

She got up off the floor in one fluid motion, suddenly animated.

"I couldn't agree more," Solas replied. "But there's a rather large problem. The city guard are…"

"Yes, she said she'd sent for them," Ellana interrupted pacing back and forth. "Are they here yet?"

"In the main hall, yes," he replied. "We have little choice but to…"

"No!" she shouted.

The sudden change in volume made him jump. He took a moment to recover.

"Vhenan, we talked about this," he eventually replied. "If this is what we have to do to ensure our…"

"No! No one else has to die! Please, Solas! Please…" she cried.

"We cannot just walk out the door and leave like this, vhenan. We would ensure Orlais' involvement and that is something we cannot afford. This is not about just us anymore," Solas argued. "We need to consider the bigger picture."

"Killing more people is not the answer!" she shouted desperately. Her mind raced. Solas made to argue but a sudden idea entered Ellana's mind. "Wait… I killed a noble…"

"What? Why?" he asked in utter confusion.

"It was an accident; I didn't mean to kill him. I just wanted to stop him but he hit his head and…" she tapered off into thought.

"Do you know who he was?" he asked, not hopeful.

"Not everyone can have a memory like yours, Solas. I could hardly remember one noble's name let alone them all!" Ellana replied with annoyance.

She looked up at him with hope in her eyes. He sighed.

"I suppose if he is someone of importance then the plan could still work as intended with him alone…" he mused.

Joy swept across Ellana's features.

"That is not a guarantee, mind," he continued. "I still need to…"

"Thank you," Ellana interrupted, hugging him tightly.

He couldn't help but smile.

"You need to get yourself down to the servants' quarters as quickly as you can. I'll meet you there once everything is in order," he said, not moving from her embrace.

"No, I'm not leaving you to do this alone," she retorted.

"I can get it done faster alone," he replied, ushering her to the door. "Go, vhenan. I'll be right behind you."

She turned back to him at the doorway.

"Thank you," she said before leaving him to his task.

* * *

Ellana entered the servants' quarters to find them abandoned. Only one familiar face remained.

"Taralan, it is a pleasure to see you once again," she greeted trying her best to hide the emptiness she still felt.

"The pleasure is all mine she-wolf. Fen'Harel is not with you?" he asked, looking noticeably disappointed.

Taralan was amongst a group of their agents that seemed to revere Solas as the god he never claimed to be. He was not the first Ellana had met who took this view but she still found the notion somewhat hilarious. The idea of the man she loved as a god was ridiculous. An unwelcome thought entered her mind.

" _What if people think of our child as a god?_ " she thought.

She shrugged it off. Now really wasn't the time for that. Taralan was still looking at her expectantly.

"No, he'll be along shortly," she replied. "You got my message?"

"Yes, although the messenger was exceedingly confused," he remarked with a laugh. "I did as you requested." He gestured to the empty room. "Am I to expect the devastation that was planned?"

"No, I am hoping that can be avoided," Ellana replied. "A noble was…caught in the crossfire and…"

"Yes, you're messenger told me all about it," Taralan interrupted. "You're hoping he will be enough to cover your actions?"

"Exactly," she replied with a smile. "She didn't happen to mention who he was did she?"

"She mentioned he was a Duke so that is hopeful at least," he mused.

Ellana nodded in approval. She wished Solas would hurry up. She could feel herself slowly sinking back in to despair. Her mind kept wandering to happy memories of Vivienne and that was the last thing she needed. She tried to switch her focus to Areina, trying to remind herself why she had done the unthinkable but it was no use. Nothing made her feel better. Lost in her thoughts, a slight whiff of smoke entered her nostrils. A noise came from outside and she held her breath in anticipation. Solas came through the door smiling at the sight of her.

"Duke Cyril de Montfort, member of the Council of Heralds; more than enough, vhenan," he remarked still smiling.

"Really? You're quite certain?" she asked, hugging him appreciatively as he reached her.

"It is done," he replied. He looked around the room finally noting its emptiness. "Where is everyone?"

"Your ladyship already ordered their removal," Taralan interjected.

"She did, did she?" Solas replied looking down at Ellana with a raised eyebrow. "How very efficient of her."

"I'd expect nothing less," Taralan remarked to an thankful look from Ellana. "I will proceed as planned but with our new scapegoat."

"Excellent," Solas replied. "Send a report once the task is completed."

"As you wish," the elf replied.

He bowed ridiculously before leaving and Ellana had to stifle a laugh. Solas nudged her in playful annoyance.

"Right, vhenan, it's about time we went home," he said.

She let out a long, relieved sigh, "I couldn't agree more."

* * *

 **A/N - Sorry again Viv.**

 **Moving on. I'm hoping to get the next chapter up pretty quickly. I've been waiting so fucking long for this moment and it has been immensely frustrating. Finally here, I bashed out the next chapter in one monumental sitting. Just needs a couple of edits and it will be ready.**


	21. The Wolf Pack

"It's obvious! It was them!" Cassandra shouted.

Her volume was entirely unnecessary. Leliana, Josephine and Cullen all stood mere feet away from her, she didn't have to shout but her anger had got the best of her.

"Yes, to us that is clear," Leliana replied in a measured tone. "But as far as they are concerned Vivienne murdered the Duke and then took her own life."

"Who would ever kill themselves by immolation?! It's absurd!" Cassandra shouted.

"It is ridiculous but from the evidence it seems undeniable. They have testimony, a paper trail…as far as they are concerned the strange method is a minor detail; an appropriately dramatic end," Leliana continued.

"Why would they do that…kill her in that way?" Josephine asked.

"It was likely done to conceal wounds that could not be attributed to her. I doubt Ellana was in any state to think the method through; Solas was probably left to clean up her mess however he could," Leliana mused.

"Whatever their motivation it doesn't matter. Orlais is distancing itself from us as they no doubt intended. Even if we can convince them of their part in these murders it will take time; time we cannot afford," Cullen interjected.

"What of Tevinter?" Cassandra asked desperately.

"They still scoff at the idea of elves as a threat," Leliana replied. "Even with the disappearance of Magister Lucceius of which I am becoming convinced they were responsible."

"Damn it all!" Cassandra shouted punching a nearby wall in frustration.

Cullen couldn't help but feel slightly smug. She should never have underestimated them. His expression did not escape Cassandra's ire.

"Don't even think about saying anything! Damn them! Damn it all!" she raved.

"I will double our efforts to find proof of their involvement for both our sakes and Vivienne's," Leliana said before leaving to attend to her task.

"I will continue treating with the houses of Orlais. Perhaps if we can convince enough of them then we can sway the Council," Josephine remarked sadly.

Cullen and Cassandra were left alone. She glared at him.

"Look where your waiting has got us!" she yelled. "They're playing us and we do nothing! I am done waiting!"

"It is their game. They were bound to win a few hands but the tables can always turn," Cullen replied coolly.

"That sounds like…" Cassandra started, brow furrowed. "Do you have an idea?"

"Maybe…" Cullen replied.

* * *

With the fallout from Orlais dealt with, Solas had been hoping to finally talk to Ellana. She had only worsened following their return but that was to be expected. It had only been a few days and she was still dealing with all that had transpired. He had hoped that it might bring them closer together but she fell back in to her old ways. He felt more alone than ever. He had never been one to push but it had been so long since he had felt her touch. Even in innocent moments she shirked away from him seeming almost afraid to let him near. He was growing increasingly frustrated in more ways than one. He found himself angering much too quickly and taking it out on the unsuspecting as a result. He wanted more than anything to understand what had gone so wrong.

Sitting behind his desk and finally resolved to confront her, Varden dashed his chances. She made to leave as she often did when business beckoned but Varden insisted she remained.

"There is news from the team in the cave ruins. They were successful thanks to your direction Lady Ellana but I'm afraid it was not without loss. The Inquisition took their pound of flesh," Varden started.

Ellana sighed sadly.

"That is unfortunate," Solas replied running a hand across his head.

"Those that survived should be returning in the next few days. I don't have exact numbers but we'll know more when they return," Varden continued.

Ellana walked over to the window and looked out with a pained expression. Solas watched her, worried that she would take this personally. Even in her sadness she looked so beautiful. Recently she had taken to wearing dresses and the one she wore now made her eyes glisten. He didn't think to question her new clothing choices.

"I'm afraid they are not the only ones to have met the Inquisition's wrath," Varden went on.

Solas tore his gaze away from Ellana, looking at Varden with worry. Ellana mirrored him.

"Two companies have gone missing with their last reports mentioning Inquisition soldiers. It is not confirmed but we believe they are either being held captive or have been killed," Varden continued sadly. "As our agents rarely submit to capture I would presume the latter."

"They must be hunting them," Ellana remarked dejectedly. "It was only a matter of time before they stepped up their attacks."

"Gather the others to meet this afternoon. There are likely more precautions we could be taking," Solas ordered.

"Right away," Varden replied, leaving immediately.

"Ellana if you feel able I would have you there too. You know better than anyone how they operate, we could use your counsel," Solas continued.

She nodded looking out the window again in anguish.

"Ellana, I… We need to talk," he said.

"Not now," she replied abruptly. "I can't…" She tapered off heading towards the door. "We should be focused on the Inquisition not ourselves. Lives are at stake."

He wanted to argue but it would achieve nothing when she was so emotional. He watched her leave sadly wishing she would let him in.

* * *

Ellana had wanted peace when they had returned from Orlais. She needed the time to confront her growing problem but it seemed she would never have such luck. The breeze and the sound of the gently rustling leaves as she sat in the forest were about the only things that still brought her comfort. Blossom from the tree above her fell in to her lap but she didn't notice. She was somewhere pleasant between sleep and awake. Her thoughts were slower, less dominating. She could find some respite here. Their lives were so hectic now, never a moments peace. She touched her stomach sadly. This was no place for a child. The sound of footsteps in the distance broke her away from the quiet. Her mind raced again as Solas approached. She hadn't expected to see him out here, not now.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, unable to hide her disappointment.

"I was worried about you. You missed the meeting," he replied.

"I did?" she asked, looking around in confusion. "I'm sorry, I must have lost track of time."

He reached her and came to one knee at her side.

"Are you all right?" he asked with concern.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just had a busy day, I guess," she replied.

"You're sure there is nothing wrong?" he asked again.

"Yes. I mean the usual but nothing in particular…" she lied, voice rising uncomfortably.

He sighed, shaking his head in frustration. The air crackled briefly before he regained control.

"Look, it is fine if you don't want to talk about it, I can respect that but do not lie to me," he said with his voice shaking noticeably. The air buzzed again as he struggled to contain himself. "With each passing day you have been growing more distant. I feel like I'm losing you and I don't know why. If there is something I have done then I need you to tell me, vhenan. Please. I need to understand…"

"I'm pregnant," Ellana interrupted weakly.

"What?" he questioned, thinking he must not have heard her correctly.

"I'm pregnant," she repeated with more strength.

His eyes widened. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. A myriad of emotions swept across his face. Ellana didn't speak thinking it better to let him process. He got up and paced relentlessly. After what felt like an age his brow furrowed as disbelief overwhelmed.

"How? How is that possible? We were taking precautions… We agreed we didn't want that! You told me you had it under control!" he said, volume rising with each thought as anger took over.

"I thought I did but with everything that has happened… Somewhere I must have made a mistake," she replied weakly. It all seemed so real now and she was feeling close to tears.

"A mistake?! How? Unless this is what you wanted all along!" he yelled, losing all control. "To trap me; keep me from my task; change my mind!"

Ellana's mouth hung open in shock. Rage rose inside of her. She got to her feet level with him.

"How dare you even think that!" she shouted.

"What do you expect me to think?!" he yelled back. "You agreed and yet it still happens! The way you've been acting recently! How long have you been keeping this from me?! How long have you known?!"

Ellana looked away in shame. She would never accept the blame for what had happened but she couldn't deny that she had kept this from him for too long.

"Just over a month," she replied sheepishly.

"A month?!" he yelled. Something flashed in the air around them. "Well that explains a great deal!"

He paced back and forth desperately trying to control himself.

"Solas I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do! I was scared!" she cried.

He kept pacing, ranting something in elvhen.

"I am such a fool. This was a mistake," he said. "I should never have…"

"Don't say it!" she interrupted. "I… When I found out I thought about leaving…I thought maybe it would be easier if…"

"Maybe you should have," he coldly interjected.

Ellana's face contorted with hurt unable to believe what she had heard. His cold stare only broke her heart further. She turned on her heel and ran, tears streaming.

* * *

"Where are you going?" Solas called after her.

He had followed Ellana out of the forest and past the camps. She was heading towards the hilltop eluvian and even in his anger he wasn't willing to let her out in to the world alone.

"Away from you, just like you want!" Ellana yelled back to him.

Elves around them watched the pursuit with curiosity.

"Ellana, come back! You can't go out in to the forest alone in your state!" he shouted.

She stopped in her tracks and rounded on him, red with rage.

"My state?!" she screamed, gesticulating wildly. "It's your fucking fault I'm in this state! But you don't give a shit do you?! All you're worried about is yourself! Gods forbid I have any feelings! Gods forbid I am just as hurt or scared as you are!" With each statement she shoved him but he did nothing to retaliate. "I have been worrying myself sick about you for weeks now and you don't even take a fucking moment to think about me! I'm not convenient anymore! I don't fit in to your little plan so fuck me, right?! Well I'm going to make things real easy for you!"

She stormed through the eluvian without so much as a glance back. Everyone around them stood gaping. Her childish attitude infuriated him. He tried to walk away but he only managed a few steps. With an angry noise he turned back, following her through the mirror.

* * *

"Go away!" Ellana yelled back to him.

A haphazardly thrown object flew past Solas's head but he didn't break his stride.

"I'm not leaving until you come back," he replied as calmly as he could.

Ellana ignored him and kept walking. They had come far. The camp was miles behind them and only forest stretched out in front. The trees were growing thicker and Ellana thought she had an opportunity. She broke in to a run weaving amongst the trees. She could no longer hear his footsteps pursuing. She looked back hopefully but in her short-sightedness, crashed in to something as she ran. It didn't feel hard enough to be a tree.

"I'm a mage, remember? You're not going to outrun me," Solas remarked looking annoyingly smug.

Ellana pushed him away angrily.

"Go fuck yourself," she spat before resuming her march.

Beyond the trees she could hear boorish voices. She smiled with satisfaction.

"Ellana you are being ridiculous! I will not stand idly by while you recklessly endanger yourself," he yelled, clearly hearing the voices too.

She rounded on him. Not realising how close he had remained, she almost bashed straight in to him.

"Why do you even care?! It would be so much easier for you if I just disappeared wouldn't it?! Why don't you just abandon me like you always fucking do?!" she screamed.

Attracted by the volume of her voice, a group of amused thugs emerged from the trees. Ellana ignored them, too incensed to stop her tirade.

"You never loved me! I was convenient; someone else to use when you see fit! You don't care about me! You're just so scared of being alone that you'd take anyone!" she screamed, tears flooding her eyes.

"That is not true!" he tried fruitlessly.

The bandits advanced on them laughing at the sight but Ellana paid them no mind.

"The second things get even a little difficult you run! That's not love! You have no idea what that word even means do you?!" she yelled.

One of the thugs had reached her. He said something but all Solas took in was his hand outstretching towards her.

"Don't touch her!" Solas yelled.

But Ellana reacted first. She elbowed the man in the face and he fell to the floor in a heap. Others came forward to avenge their friend. Ellana took care of those that reached her with equal fervour but Solas had had enough. Beads of lightening ignited in the air around them. As he intended the bandits avoided death but it was enough to scare them in to submission. They ran, gutlessly leaving their fallen friends to their presumed fate. Ellana panted from the sudden exertion but her expression remained rage filled.

"I've made so many terrible mistakes," she spat, a tear rolling down her cheek. "But the worst by far was you."

She turned on her heel and ran off in to the forest. Solas did not give chase, he couldn't. He stood eyes closed, despair having taken him entirely. Footsteps rushed to him from behind. He didn't react, knowing they had been following this entire time.

"What the fuck have you done now?!" Lis shouted, reaching him first.

"Please don't..." Solas replied, not opening his eyes.

More footsteps heralded the arrival of the others but none were brave enough to say anything.

"Just go after her, please," he continued. "She needs you, not me."

Lis let out an angry noise but did as she was bid. Their footsteps quickened in to the distance. He didn't move. Rain started to fall, the droplets merging with the tears already rolling down his face.

* * *

It didn't take long to find her. Lis had expected it would be bad when she'd seen them arguing back at camp but she had never expected this. Ellana lay crumpled in a heap against a nearby tree. She sobbed in to the ground, struggling to breathe. They all surrounded her nervously but she didn't let up.

"What the fuck, Ellana?!" Lis questioned, unable to entirely let go of her angry tone.

"It's over! It's all fucking over! I'm done! I'm so fucking done," Ellana cried between sobs.

"That can't be!" Shivra interjected worriedly. "What could he have possibly done to…?"

"I'm fucking pregnant, alright?!" Ellana yelled red faced. "I'm fucking pregnant and he doesn't give a shit! He's just worried about himself! He doesn't care!"

"Oh shit…" Shivra gasped.

Miris walked away wide eyed leaving only Lis by her side.

"It's okay, Ellana. We're here for you. We care," Lis said taking her hand. "He's not worth this. We can work this out together like we've always done."

Ellana looked up at her friend warmly.

"I don't know what to do," she replied uselessly. "I can't…"

Lis took her in her arms, tears staining her shoulder.

"We'll figure something out," Lis said.

* * *

It had taken a lot of convincing and an unpleasant night on the forest floor but somehow they had managed to persuade Ellana to go back. She hadn't seen Solas since their return nor did she care to. Even just the thought of seeing him still filled her with rage. Lis had reluctantly permitted her to spend some time alone so she had chosen to take to the forest. She sat running her hands through the stream trying desperately to clear her mind. She was resolved not to leave. She didn't see why he should be allowed to keep living the life they had built when she had nothing. She didn't need him. She wasn't about to give everything up to save his damn feelings. Despite herself she did wonder where he was. It was unlike him to be so absent around camp. She couldn't help but worry.

"Ellana, are you out here?" came a yell from the trees.

To her relief it was Lis but she still jumped.

"I'm over here," she replied.

Finally Lis emerged from the trees and came to her side.

"Fucking hell, Ellana. You didn't half go far," Lis gently nagged. Her expression changed to one of worry. "I've been looking for you for the past hour… It's… Lori's back."

"What?!" Ellana questioned disbelievingly. "That's wonderful!" She couldn't understand why Lis looked so sad. "Isn't it?"

"She was a part of the raiding party at the cave ruins; did you know that? She's…she's alone, Ellana," Lis replied sadly. "The others…they…"

"No… I didn't know! Why did no one tell me?!" Ellana gasped. She got up to meet Lis. "That's not… I have to see her!"

Lis nodded taking her by the arm and leading her away through the trees.

* * *

Ellana had a hard time holding back her tears. She couldn't take much more and the sight of a dejected Lori was bringing her frightfully close to breaking point. She knelt down beside her friend unsure what to say.

"Ellana…you're…you're here," Lori said blankly.

"Lis told me you were here and I… What happened to the others?" Ellana asked as Lis came to join her on the ground.

"Garith, he's… The Inquisition soldiers, they…" Lori tried, breaking down in to tears. "He's dead!" she sobbed.

Lori and Garith had grown up together, their bond far outreaching the time they had spent as agents. Ellana couldn't imagine the pain her friend was feeling. Nothing Ellana could say could ever make up for what she had lost.

"What about Daman?" she asked carefully. "Is he…?"

"He ran like a fucking coward!" Lori yelled. "He left us and then…" She descended in to sobs.

Rage overwhelmed Ellana. In her already fragile state she was unable to control herself. She got up abruptly, storming away in fury.

"Where are you going?!" Lis yelled after her but Ellana was beyond hearing.

* * *

Ellana burst in to Varden's office in a rage.

"You bastard!" she yelled. "You knew perfectly well that they were my friends and you didn't think to tell me they were involved in all of this! Didn't you think I might want to know that my friends were in danger, against the Inquisition of all people?!"

Varden hardly flinched. He looked up at her from his desk with annoyance.

"I am running this entire place all but single-handedly because of your foolishness. You'll forgive me for not thinking to keep you informed of every minor detail that crops up," he remarked coldly.

"My foolishness?!" Ellana yelled. "Fuck you! You have no fucking idea what you're talking about!"

"Don't I? Either way I don't care what goes on between you two," he replied, his tone kept entirely measured. "As long as everything keeps running smoothly, you can do whatever you wish to one another but now it's not just about you. This is getting ridiculous! You need to stop thinking about yourself and make it right."

"Why me?! Go bother him! He's the one who's being a complete asshole!" Ellana yelled.

"That may well be true but he is also the one who can burn me alive so forgive me for not treating him with the same impudence," Varden remarked with a wry laugh.

"Oh, fuck off!" Ellana shouted back. "You're just as much of an asshole as he is!"

With that Ellana stormed angrily from the room. Varden let out a long sigh.

* * *

"Thank you for doing this," Mirwen remarked, smiling to Varden at her side. "I must say I consider it quite a compliment that the Dread Wolf saw fit to bar me from his office."

"It's been four days since he left that room. If you think you can get through to him then I am more than happy to let you try," Varden replied.

"We shall see. Although I doubt he will be pleased to see me," Mirwen mused.

The elevator whirred beneath them in the silence.

"Don't say I didn't warn you, he is…even less receptive than usual," Varden continued. "And you can hardly be considered a match for him."

"It's comforting to know that the doddering old woman routine is still working! You shouldn't underestimate your elders my dear, we are more capable than you may think," she replied with glee.

They came to a stop at the top level and Mirwen stepped off.

"So, what did you make of the news? I doubt you are so easily fazed," she questioned.

"What news?" he asked, brow furrowing in confusion.

"Oh! He didn't tell you?" Mirwen replied in a sing song voice.

The elevator started descending. Varden panicked and Mirwen laughed at the sight.

"Tell me what happened!" he shouted up.

"The wolf pack grows! Soon we will greet a pup in to this world!" she yelled back.

"You can't be serious?!" he shouted, his voice quieting with his descent.

She couldn't help but laugh. He kept yelling below her but the distance between them made the details impossible to hear. She gave up and entered the door ahead of her. The office was abandoned, dust starting to claim the surfaces. The door to the right stood ajar so she powered through. The curtains were drawn hiding the room in darkness. Even in the gloom Mirwen could still just about see him. Solas sat half-dressed on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. He didn't look up as she entered.

"Look at you hiding away like a wounded pup," she remarked. "To think you were once worthy of such dread…"

"Go away," he insisted rather more angrily than he had intended. "Please…just go."

"There is no need to be rude, Wolf. I come only to offer wisdom; nothing more, nothing less," Mirwen retorted.

He finally looked up, scoffing angrily.

"So illuminate me? What would _you_ have me do?!" he asked growing angrier still.

"Well I'd go outside once in a while for starters," she joked. She sighed, turning serious. "Stand up and face it head on."

"That's your solution?!" he scoffed.

"What other choice do you have? Locking yourself away in your pretty tower is hardly a suitable alternative," she replied.

He said nothing. He gazed down at the floor intently, trying his absolute best to not let emotion overwhelm him.

"If you carry on in this way you risk losing her now. You might think that is better but is it really? Wouldn't you rather spend what time you have left together? That was what she wanted all along," Mirwen mused. "She came back to you knowing what it meant. She accepted her fate a long time ago so why can't you? Keeping yourself from her doesn't save anyone."

A tear slid down his cheek.

"I cannot accept it, I won't," he interjected sadly.

Mirwen closed the distance between them and knelt down to his height.

"Sometimes the solution stares us in the face. You might not see it now but you will. A child does not have to mean the end," she continued. "It can be the beginning of something greater. For you it can be a blessing, hope. In your darkest hour she will be the only light that reaches you."

He looked up at her, confusion enveloping his expression.

"She?" he asked.

The Keeper answered with a warm smile, "Yes. She."

Solas let out a gentle gasp as a flurry of emotions swept across his features. He ran his hands across his head as he rose to his feet.

"What about Ellana? Even if I were to try, she'll never forgive me for this," he worried, pacing back and forth.

"She already has," the Keeper replied, still perched on the floor.

Solas looked at her with disbelief.

"You don't seriously think that I would choose to speak to you, of all people, first do you?" she continued with a smirk.

A gentle smile came across his features as he felt hope for the first time in too long.

"Help an old woman up?" Mirwen asked.

He came to her side, offering her a hand off the floor. She patted him appreciatively on the shoulder.

"I suppose it's about time I took my leave. After all, you've got a lot of work to do," she remarked making for the door.

"Thank you…" he said weakly.

"I know, you owe me a great deal and all that," she interrupted not stopping her stride. "Let's not embarrass us both by saying it."

He let out a gentle laugh, the feeling blissful compared to what he had been subjecting himself to.

"Now stop your dallying and get to work," she remarked before closing the door behind her.

Solas looked around the empty room still in disbelief. He threw open the curtains and looked out.

"A daughter…" he whispered.

* * *

The last few days had been terrible for Ellana but Mirwen had somehow managed to bring back some semblance of hope. Ellana finally had the clarity that she needed. All she had ever wanted was to spend whatever time she had left with him; no more, no less. It didn't matter what came after as long as they were together. She had wanted to see Solas immediately but Mirwen dissuaded her from that path. She insisted that he would come to her and Ellana trusted her judgement. But that was two days ago. The wait was becoming agonising. Luckily it had given her time to see to Lori. Her friend needed her now more than ever and the distraction was certainly welcome. Lori's despair had lessened. She seemed just as in need of distraction, showing an avid interest in Ellana's new found life. At face value she seemed thrilled that she had found such purpose but Shivra insisted differently. She had taken an instant dislike to Lori. Ellana wondered if she was jealous. Lori had come in already friends with her and Lis, she had the advantage.

The group sat together joking around the fire. The sun was setting above them but they weren't about to let that stop them.

"So we're there hiding in the closet and these two are just going at it on the bed," Lis continued, giggling. "I'm trying desperately not to make a sound and this one," she gestured to Ellana. "Is right next to me, sides fucking shaking."

"I'm outside wondering where you've both got to," Lori interjected.

"And then there is this monumental bang!" Lis continued. "The woman fucking screams, as you would, and…"

Lis trailed off, glare fixed on something in the distance. Ellana looked up to see Solas walking towards them from the tower. He looked afraid but happy. She got up from the ground.

"No, Ellana. Don't! He's not worth it," Lis whined.

Ellana ignored her. She strode out to meet him, a smile breaking across her features. He fidgeted nervously. Ellana was back in leathers and as she neared he could see a small but very significant bump beneath them. That explained the dresses.

"Vhenan, I…" he trailed off still fidgeting. "There's something I need to show you."

She nodded, intrigued. She had expected a simple apology not anything more. They made their way up the tower in silence. He looked so nervous. It was a surprisingly adorable sight. His office was in complete disarray. It looked like he hadn't used it in days and dust had settled across everything. He led her through to the bedroom still without a word. To her complete surprise it was nothing like how she had left it. Everything had been rearranged to make space for a new room. Obstructing one of the windows, walls extended out and a door concealed what lay beyond.

"You work pretty bloody fast. I'm impressed," she mused.

"Mage, remember?" he replied with a smile.

He took her hand and led her over to the door. He opened it, ushering her inside ahead of him. She let out a loud gasp. The room was small but even still it overwhelmed her. It was bathed in light, the back wall holding nothing but the remaining window. In the centre sat a white crib. Ellana came forward to touch its smooth surface, running a hand along the carefully constructed carvings with a warm smile. Above it fragments of coloured glass hung down from the ceiling. The daylight danced through them sending spears of rainbowed light cascading against the walls. She looked around, finally seeing the wall to her right. She let out another gasp and a tear fell. The entire surface was taken up by a mural painted in Solas's own hand. It depicted a forest scene with two wolves in the centre: one white and one silver. They were curled together, contented. Before their entwined forms a pup chased a butterfly; flecks of both their colours evident in its fur. Ellana brought a hand to her mouth.

"The painting actually took the longest," Solas remarked from the door. "You'd think by now I'd be quite proficient at painting wolves but I had to get them just right."

"It's beautiful," Ellana said breathlessly.

"I'm glad you like it," he replied, unable to contain his grin.

"You should have told me you were doing this," she continued, mourning their lost time.

"It had to be perfect. I… I wanted it to be a surprise," he responded, voice shaking as his nerves returned.

Ellana reached out a hand to touch the painting's surface. It was perfect.

"Ellana, I… Forgive me," he said, turning her to him. "I was a fool. I care for you more than I ever thought possible. I can't stand another moment without you. I don't care what the future will bring, I just want you."

She looked up in to his eyes. He looked so desperate, so lost. She touched a hand to his cheek and he leaned in to her.

"That is all I have ever wanted," she replied.

A tear trickled down his cheek in to her hand.

"But what about the baby?" she asked. "I don't think I could bear you pushing me away again when…"

"That will not happen," he interrupted sternly. "I will not lose you, Ellana, or her. I will find a way."

Ellana pulled back, her brow furrowing.

"Her? What are you…? You can't possibly know that!" she uttered in confusion.

"Mirwen said, I…I thought you already knew," he stuttered.

"No! Since when do you believe any of Mirwen's claims? We're having a girl?!" Ellana exclaimed barely able to contain her excitement. The enormity of their situation took over and she looked up at him in wonder. "A daughter… We're going to have a daughter…"

He pulled her in close.

"We're going to have a daughter," he breathed inches from her.

They kissed one another, both overwhelmed with emotion. His hand went to her stomach to truly feel its swell for the first time.

"You're going to be a father, isn't that scary?" she asked.

"With you by my side, vhenan, nothing scares me," he replied, tracing her cheek with a finger.

But he was lying. He had never been more terrified.


	22. The White Raven

**A/N - Sorry for yet another delay; life has really been piling on the bullshit. ONWARD!**

* * *

Ellana lay intertwined with Solas on the ocean's surface. They had lain in the Fade talking for what felt like hours.

"He had failed and it shames me to admit it but I killed him," Solas continued.

"That's… Why would you do that?" Ellana asked. "That's not the man I know."

"I was…different…then," he replied, sitting up. "I had awoken to a world entirely foreign to what I knew and to hear someone claiming otherwise… I couldn't accept it. I couldn't even begin to imagine it. It's strange; I've lived for so long unchanged but these past few years… I'm not the same man I was."

"Must be my shining influence," Ellana joked.

He splashed her playfully with water and she recoiled in annoyance.

During the past few days she had gotten to know him better than she ever had before. Their nights had been spent talking in both the Fade and the waking world. They had a new rule – no more secrets. Ellana doubted they would be able to keep it up but for now, at least, it was blissful. She had always felt barred from prying too much in to his past but now the walls had come tumbling down. She'd learned so much already and, as it turned out, he was just as fascinating as he seemed. They had also agreed to take things slower. Both had said things that neither could take back. Ellana felt they needed to regain some of what they had lost whilst avoiding the intensity of their previous relationship. It seemed like a wise idea at the time but neither had been able to maintain it for long. Even in moments of clarity she felt drawn to him and he was just as powerless to resist.

"Your turn," he pressed on. "Regale me with another regretful experience."

"No, I'm done," she replied.

"Come now, vhenan! You cannot expect me to believe that you have nothing more to offer?" he whined.

"Well that's all you're getting."

"No! You promised no more secrets so deliver."

"No, seriously, I'm done! You're giving me profound experiences while I'm offering up the time I fucked a farm boy to annoy my Mother! I'm hardly living up to expectations here," she exclaimed.

"Yes…I must admit, I was not quite ready for that one," he replied with a laugh. "It is not a competition, my love. I have lived considerably longer than you. I am bound to have a few more stories to tell."

"Precisely and I want to hear it all so you take another turn," she said with a smirk.

He let out a sigh, annoyed he had fallen in to her trap so easily. He offered nothing, a comfortable silence descending over them as he lay back and stroked her hair. Ellana broke it.

"You know, sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if we had never met."

He stopped his stroking and Ellana immediately regretted her thoughtless words.

"Not in a bad way, just… All those years ago you came in to my life and it turned everything upside down. The Conclave, the Mark and then you… I took on a life I had never expected," she tried to explain. She glanced up at him hoping he wasn't hurt. "Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had never been there. I'd probably still be with my Clan, bonded to some other hunter, maybe kids…it's absurd to think now. I led an army and here I am laid on top of the ocean in the arms of the Dread Wolf. It just seems so unbelievable. If I wasn't living it I would think I was dreaming!"

"You are dreaming," he remarked, giving nothing away.

"You know what I mean," she said with a light jostle.

Neither said anything. She couldn't read his expression but she wanted to know what he was thinking. Before she could ask he spoke.

"Do you think you would have been happier, living that life?" he asked.

"I…I don't know," Ellana replied uselessly. His question had thrown her off. "I can't know, can I?"

"That's not really an answer. You can imagine can you not?" he added, expression still impassive.

"Well I don't know! It's a difficult question." She sighed. "All right. I'll try and answer if you answer something just as difficult first." She looked up at him hopefully.

"Difficult? I'm not sure I like the sound of that," he replied carefully.

"Solas, you promised…"

"I know, I know," he interrupted. "Fine, but you have to answer too."

"Okay. Don't be mad but with everything that happened there is something that has played on my mind. You said that I should have left," she started, making his expression noticeably darken. "That that's what you wanted… Did you mean that?"

Solas immediately regretted agreeing to this. His mouth hung open briefly as he struggled with what to say. He opted for the truth.

"Yes and no."

"Well that's hardly an answer either!" Ellana interrupted in annoyance.

"Let me finish," he interjected. She quieted, watching him too intently for his liking. "There are times when I honestly believe that both of us would be better off apart. So much of what we do, what we want is entangled in one another. Our lives would be so much simpler without that weight."

Ellana couldn't really argue with that. Life had always been easier when she had only herself to worry about. Now she had to factor him in to every decision and that was an undeniable weight; a weight that had only grown heavier with her pregnancy.

"But even if you did leave, I would carry that weight with me still," he continued. "A part of me would be gone and I'm not sure what I would become without it. I existed fine before and I thought I could again but you've changed me more than I ever thought possible. That cannot be undone, no matter how hard you or I may try."

Ellana laughed. He glowered at her in wounded confusion.

"This is funny to you?" he asked.

"No! It's lovely," she remarked, placing a hand reassuringly on his cheek. She giggled again much to his annoyance. "But you pretty much just said exactly what I was going to answer. Would I be happier living a mundane Dalish life? Back then – definitely. It would be so much easier but you've also changed me, I could never live that life happily now. I was wandering aimlessly through life and then you came and cut me loose. I want, I need so much more now. I have never felt more incomplete than in your absence."

He resumed stroking her hair, smiling to himself.

"Do you think it's morning yet?" Ellana eventually asked.

"I have no idea," he replied. "Unfortunately the only way we can know is by waking."

Ellana let out a long dissatisfied sigh.

"I'll go," he said.

He got up to leave and Ellana lay back happily, hoping they would still have some time. Suddenly a thought occurred to her.

"No! Wait!" she yelled.

But it was already too late. With Solas gone the Fade no longer bent to his will. The second he disappeared there was nothing keeping her aloft and she tumbled through the water's surface. The last thing she felt was icy cold before waking with a scream. From her side Solas looked at her with confused concern.

"The water!" she exclaimed, glaring at him.

"Oh!" he remarked, recognition finally dawning. "Sorry, I forgot…"

He couldn't help but laugh. She shoved him but he caught her, pulling her to him.

"On a positive note, the sun is only just rising," he continued with a sly smirk. "We have time…"

"No way; not after that," she replied, still angry.

He reached up and kissed her. It was slow, leading. When he pulled away she was left wanting more. He kept tantalisingly close.

"Well…" she said with a gulp. "I suppose I could use warming up…"

She kissed him, bridging the gap between them. Her hand descended gently down his chest but he stopped her at his waist, tutting lightly.

"Not yet, vhenan," he said, turning her. "Ladies first."

She let out an appreciative whine as his own hand found its way between her legs.

* * *

" _Maybe I should just dye it again,_ " Ellana thought, gazing at her reflection.

Requiring more upkeep than she was willing to undertake she had thought to grow the colour out of her hair. She grew tired of the black and Solas had expressed a desire to see a return to her natural silver. Looking at herself now though, she was starting to regret the decision. With just her roots silver she felt she looked idiotic. She had just emerged from a soothing bath. Solas had long since abandoned her having never shared her love of the warm waters beyond their necessary function. She had taken much longer than she had intended. She was surprised he hadn't been through to hurry her along. Tying her hair up she went out to see where he had got to. She couldn't see him in the bedroom so she made her way over to the office door.

"Solas?" she called through it to no avail.

She returned to the bedroom and finished dressing. A sound from the balcony caught her attention and when she went out to investigate she finally found him. He was fast asleep in one of the chairs. She tiptoed to perch on the wall opposite and surprisingly her presence did not wake him. His eyelids flickered with dreaming sleep; his brow contorted in a frown. Annoyingly he had never been one to talk in his sleep so she had no idea what he was doing. She watched him intently as his expression darkened. She thought she saw him shake his head lightly.

" _And so it starts…_ " she thought sadly.

She wanted to wake him but in the end that would be more trouble than it was worth. Knowing what he was doing was not going to bring her any comfort, if he would even tell her. She pushed off from her perch and left.

The sound of the bedroom door slamming awoke Solas from his slumber. He looked around in some confusion but with time his mind rested on the most likely scenario.

"Damn…" he murmured, getting up and leaving himself.

* * *

Ellana sat perched on Solas's desk fresh from another discussion about the Inquisition. She had not mentioned what she had seen on the balcony nor did she intend to. Solas seemed more than happy to avoid the issue as well. Their discussions had been disappointing. She had hoped they would find some form of resolution but that had been naive. They were too far gone to resolve this.

"It is the best we could hope for vhenan. We cannot face them with our current numbers; the best we can do is try and minimise the damage," Solas reassured.

Ellana sighed sadly.

"You did well, if that's any consolation," he went on. "The others seem to be finally taking you seriously."

It had been strange speaking with Solas's inner circle. Obviously she knew Varden well but she had only ever seen the others in passing. She was glad Liahra had not been present, still occupied in Tevinter. Ellana doubted it would have gone so well if she had been involved.

"I suppose," Ellana replied, lying back.

Solas picked up a familiar item from his desk: the key from the cave ruins. Seeing it again had been a strange experience, especially given the cost of its return, but she was glad it was back in its rightful place.

"You shouldn't doubt yourself, it's not exactly your first time in a leadership role," he mused, tossing the vial between his hands.

"Leadership? I'm hardly a leader," Ellana replied, looking at his carelessness with concern. "Be careful! A wyvern almost ate me to get you that damn thing; if you break it I'm going to kill you!"

"Calm down, it is perfectly safe," he appeased, putting it back on the desk with mock care. He paused, concern returning to his features. "You still want to join me on this excursion?"

Ellana rolled her eyes, she had been expecting this. Solas had become increasingly protective since he had accepted she was with child. She could understand the desire but believed it to be somewhat premature. At her current stage she was still perfectly capable so she saw no reason why she could not continue as normal.

"Definitely. Why should you get to have all the excitement?" she retorted.

"Ellana, I have literally no idea what will be in that mirror. You know how I dislike unknown variables," he argued. "At the very least it is going to be dangerous and in your state is it really wise…"

"What did I say about referring to your child as a state?!" she interrupted angrily.

"All I meant was it is not just you you'd be putting in danger, vhenan," he clarified carefully.

"Fine, if it gets bad I'll leave but I want to see it, Solas. Surely you can understand that?" she retorted.

He sighed, resigned.

"You'll be there, how dangerous can it really be?" she said, running a finger down his nose playfully.

He got up abruptly clearly aggravated.

"We are already late," he said, offering her a hand to help her up.

"Aww, do we have to?" she whined. "You're fun when you're annoyed."

He lifted her off the desk letting out an angry noise as he did.

* * *

"All seems to be in order," Firanni concluded.

With Mirwen by her side she had been examining Ellana. Solas had requested they keep a close eye on her progress throughout the pregnancy and they had been happy to oblige. Ellana had been less so. While it was reassuring to know that someone was watching out for her, she didn't really see the point. There was only so much they could tell from examination.

"That's good," Ellana replied. "Can Solas come back in now?"

For some reason the fire haired girl had insisted he step out during the examination. Again, Ellana didn't see the point, he had obviously seen it all before. Solas had made to argue but Ellana stopped him; too worried to anger the person best suited to care for their child.

Firanni nodded. "I'll get him on my way out," she said as she packed up.

"There is no need," Solas said, entering unannounced. He still looked angered. "While you may pointlessly keep me from seeing, my hearing is entirely unimpaired."

Ellana glared at him.

"All is well?" he asked, making it clear that the question was directed at Mirwen, not Firanni.

Solas came to stand by Ellana's side. She elbowed him in the ribs with yet another glare.

"She is progressing as one would expect," Firanni replied with a smirk. "Sickness is still an obvious issue but the current remedy seems to be keeping it under control?"

"Yes," Ellana replied with a nod. "I only feel nauseous before I take it."

"Good. Hopefully it will abate with time," Firanni mused.

"What about activity?" Solas asked carefully.

Ellana glared at him knowing exactly where he was going with this.

"Ellana wishes to continue in much the same way as she had before. Is that wise given her condition? Should she not be resting?" he continued.

"No," Mirwen piped up, a worried look sweeping across her features for the briefest of seconds. "It is still early, she is perfectly capable…"

"That is true," Firanni interrupted. "While more rest would obviously be beneficial, it is not necessary for her to alter her lifestyle drastically at this stage."

"You see? It's fine!" Ellana added.

"It is not fine," Solas snapped.

"Temper, temper, Wolf," Mirwen chastised. "For as long as Ellana feels able she may continue as she was."

"As you will," he snapped back. He turned to Ellana. "I'll be outside when you're ready."

Ellana sighed as he left.

"So he is clearly still struggling then?" Mirwen mused.

Ellana nodded sadly. She didn't want to elaborate in Firanni's presence but luckily she left behind Solas. Ellana still did not fully trust her.

"I can't say I blame him, it is a lot to take in," Ellana eventually replied. "I know he's worried about me and I joke but I don't know what else to do. He needs to realise he can't control everything."

"It would be against his nature not to try," Mirwen added.

"I know. I wish he'd talk more about it; share what's going through his mind. He's fine about the physical side but all the rest… He wants so desperately to keep us the way we are while trying to change the rest of the world. It seems so impossible. I just wish he could accept the things he cannot change." Ellana paused, thinking on her problems. "How do you see this ending?"

Mirwen raised a brow sceptically. "You know I can't answer that," she replied. "Your choices and his will shape your reality. You will become those choices. I cannot possibly surmise which you will make…"

"Is there ever…" Ellana interrupted, doubting she should go on. "Is there ever a time where it works out? Where everything is as we want it to be?"

"What you want changes; fluid like water. Your priorities now may not be the same as those in the end," Mirwen replied.

"I need to know if there is any…" Ellana stopped, seeing Solas in the doorway. He looked thoroughly unamused.

"All that matters for now is that you know that an obstacle does not have to be overcome. There are other routes. Friends in the most unexpected of places. See wisdom for what it is and it will see you," the Keeper said, placing a hand reassuringly on her shoulder.

Ellana looked at her blankly, eyebrow raised questioningly.

"We have to go," Solas said from the door, mirroring her bewildered look.

Ellana got down from the table.

"Yes, go!" Mirwen pronounced, ushering her away. "Send the raven my regards!"

Solas took Ellana's arm and led her out of the tent.

"I really wish that woman would just say what she means," Ellana remarked with annoyance.

Solas laughed. "That would be much too easy would it not?"

* * *

"What is an Eluvian doing out here?" Ellana asked as she trudged through the undergrowth.

They were in the forest north of the tower; far further than she had ever been. She walked alongside Solas with a group of elves following behind. Mercifully, they seemed to have finally gotten over the initial amusement of seeing their illustrious leader and his Paramore in such close quarters but there was still the odd whisper from behind.

"It was in a rather precarious position when I found it so I had it brought here," Solas mused. "It seemed a fitting place to keep it until I found the solution."

Ellana nodded. He still hadn't entirely let go of his anger and she didn't want to provoke him further. Even still, she couldn't help but wish he hadn't had it brought out so far.

"You're regretting your decision to join me?" he asked with a slight smile. It was annoying how easily he read her.

"Not at all," she said determinedly. "In fact, I wanted to thank you for letting me come. It means a lot."

"I didn't exactly have a choice…"

"Yes you did," she interrupted. "You could have ordered me not to or just gone behind my back; you could have easily kept me from here but you didn't…"

A gentle smile spread across his features. "No, I suppose I did not…"

"Thank you," she whispered, planting a kiss on his cheek.

The murmuring erupted from behind but neither one cared. Solas took her hand in his and they kept walking.

A short distance away they came to a stop. A dark Eluvian stood seeming misplaced amongst the trees. Ellana had expected something more; at least some structure around the mirror but it quite literally just sat there.

"We're here," Solas remarked, taking the vial from his clothing before proceeding on.

Ellana stayed put.

"Why all the way out here?" she asked.

"I wanted it away from the camps. I did not know what we would find once we opened it and I would prefer it was not within striking distance." Solas raised the vial up to the mirror's surface and it disintegrated in his hands. Light replaced the vial as it disappeared, passing from him to the mirror. "Even if there is no immediate danger, I would still prefer that no one wanders nearby. I am unsure if I will be able to lock it effectively so I would rather not take the risk." The mirror lit up as he spoke and he smiled. "Excellent."

Ellana passed a hand across its surface in amazement. The mirrors would never bore her. Solas turned to the others.

"I am uncertain what we will find beyond and for that reason each of you should remain alert. If I order you to run you should do so without delay. Stay sharp and do not touch anything," he ordered.

He held out a hand to Ellana.

"That goes for you too," he said as she took it.

* * *

Solas walked free of the mirror and Ellana stumbled out behind. They found themselves at the edge of a vast ocean with rocky beach stretched out beneath their feet. Behind them cliffs wrapped around obscuring whatever lay beyond.

"Are we in Thedas?" Ellana asked letting out a gentle gasp.

Solas looked around, taking in a narrow opening in the rocks that looked passable. He could not feel the hum that was always present in the world within the mirrors. He looked out to the ocean beyond.

"I think we are," he mused. He walked over to the cliffs, coming to rest at the opening. An archway had held the rocks aloft but it had long since collapsed. The ground was littered with boulders. "I have no idea where we are, must be an island of some sort. But why? Why out here?"

Ellana came to his side and gazed down in to the opening.

"Stay close," he said before taking her hand.

They navigated the rocks with some difficulty but eventually they made it to the other side. The cliffs all but surrounded them, curving around the island to keep the central area enclosed. The apparent lack of another exit concerned Solas slightly before his attention was drawn to the rest of their surroundings. Immediately apparent was the monumental spire ascending up in the centre. It was damaged but he could still feel the thrum of magic from within. He moved closer to examine it. Crystal ascended in spirals and within aquamarine light flurried up. He reached out a hand to touch its surface. It had been a long time since he had seen anything like it.

"The damage has lessened whatever power there was within," he pondered aloud. "But what purpose could this exist for?" He caught sight of another ruined archway behind and a doorway beyond that. "Perhaps it is powering something inside?"

He ran a hand up the crystalline structure feeling the satisfying pulse of the magic within.

"Remarkable isn't it?" he asked.

But no reply came. He looked around in confusion, seeing only their elven companions.

"Ellana?" he asked uselessly. The elves looked on in equal confusion. "Where did she go?"

* * *

Ellana had not intended to leave his side but the temptation had been too great. Just as she had hoped this place was fascinating. Not so attuned to magical energies, the spire had not grabbed her attention as it had with Solas. The architecture was what fascinated her. Beyond the second archway she could see the door in the distance surrounded by other ruined pillars. Above some sort of bizarre roof spiralled up. It was odd, seeming to have no real logic to its form. From the other surrounding structures and its white colour she presumed it must be elvhen but it looked like nothing she had ever seen before. She wandered over, too engrossed to notice Solas going in the other direction. A pathway took her up the cliffs but it was littered with rocks making her progress slow. Shortly before the top a shorter white wall started, winding up to join with the main structure. The way it spiralled seemed natural despite its odd formation. As she neared she could feel a curious heat emanating from the wall. She reached out a hand to touch its surface. It felt rough and unlike anything she had ever felt before. It didn't feel like stone and on closer inspection it didn't look like it either. The warmth was strangely soothing. She continued up the path gazing intently at the wider structure. It was even more bizarre up close. Seemingly random pieces spiralling up and jutting out without any clear pattern. The highest point looked especially strange but from below she couldn't quite see what it was. She kept her hand running along its surface as she walked; the feeling still oddly comforting.

"Ellana?" she heard Solas yell from below.

Beneath her hand she could have sworn she felt the wall tremble at the sound. She recoiled in shock and a great rumbling sound emanated from within the structure. She took a few steps back as it moved again. She only just managed to duck in time as the wall swung out over her head. She could see now that it was definitely not stone rather a monumental tail. The rumbling grew louder as the beast unfurled, clearly no longer the roof she had been expecting. Wings parted above to reveal the head of the largest dragon she had ever seen. With its back to her it reared on its hind legs, wings outstretched, blotting out the sun above. Its roar shook the earth beneath her.

"The White Raven," she gasped.

* * *

Solas heard the roar before he saw it. A huge shadow shrouded the valley in darkness. He saw Ellana first slowly backing away towards the cliff edge. The sky behind was almost entirely taken up by the colossal white dragon.

"No… No! No! No! No!" he yelled as panic took over.

He broke in to a run blasting any obstruction out of his path. He had to reach her in time.

* * *

Ellana's immediate thought was to run but she knew better. She had faced many dragons in her time and she had learned that one should never run from an apex predator. She tried to keep still but that was proving difficult. She found herself backing away against her better judgement. The beast beat its wings, taking flight and the force of it pushed her off balance. She fell to the ground with a heavy thud. Despite its immense size the dragon moved through the air effortlessly. Ellana wasn't certain it had even seen her but as it turned she realised she hadn't been so lucky. She got to her feet, fumbling for her weapons. Beneath her she could hear Solas crying out and the crashing of stone. He would never reach her in time. The beast slowed as it reached the cliff edge, flapping its colossal wings hard to remain aloft. Ellana ducked low to keep the air force from knocking her off balance again. She stood poised for the first attack but none came. It grabbed at the cliff edge to gain purchase and let out a low rumble. The sound of air entering its massive nostrils made her jump. She expected flames but again none came. As its head neared she could tell that it was sniffing her. So close, Ellana could see its pale blue eyes clearly and for some reason Mirwen's words flurried through her mind.

" _See wisdom for what it is and it will see you_."

She had seen many dragons before but none like this one. They had always been so quick to attack, intense power for the sake of it but this one was different. There was no malice in its eyes, no pride. All she could see was curiosity. The rumbling intensified as it brought itself closer to her. It sniffed at her midriff. Longing shone out from behind its eyes. Ellana had seen no evidence of dragonlings or anything else for that matter.

" _She's all alone_ ," Ellana thought.

It let out a brief rasp as she moved her hands, attention focusing on her weapons. She dropped them at her feet.

"I don't want to hurt you," she whispered.

The beast looked at her curiously. A quiet trill erupted from its throat.

"See? It's okay," she continued in a soothing tone.

She moved closer, no longer afraid. She outstretched a hand to it but the beast growled lightly.

"No, no," Ellana appeased. "It's okay. Are you all alone out here?"

The beast brought its head in to sniff her intently and let out another deep whine.

"It's okay. I'm here now."

A loud crash heralded the arrival of Solas. His eyes were glowing and he looked incensed. The dragon turned to the sound letting out a roar.

"No!" Ellana yelled, holding up a hand. "Solas stop!"

He did as he was bid but the glow remained in his eyes.

"Ellana, stand aside!" he shouted.

The dragon let out a low, threatening growl.

"Solas, please! Wait!" Ellana begged. Once she was satisfied he had stopped she turned back to the beast. "It's all right. Don't worry about him," She outstretched a hand towards the dragon and to her surprise it trilled happily. "You don't have to be alone anymore."

Ellana touched a hand to the dragon's face and soothing warmth bled in to her. Wings still beating the beast pressed its nose lightly against her stomach, leaning in to her touch.

* * *

"Ellana, you are being ridiculous; it is a dragon!" Solas remarked angrily.

The beast padded about nervously nearby growling occasionally at Solas. It didn't seem to like him much. The other elves had kept their distance but all stared up in wonder at the creature before them.

"I am aware of that! So we're going to kill her purely because of her nature?" Ellana retorted.

"It is a dragon!" he repeated.

"She's a dragon unlike any I have ever seen before, Solas. She didn't attack us! We're intruders in her home and she didn't attack us! That has to count for something!" Ellana continued.

The dragon trilled happily in the background as though it were agreeing with her point. Solas let out an exasperated noise, throwing up his arms in anger.

"She didn't attack us. We can't just kill her. If she is no threat then who are we to deny her existence?" Ellana remarked.

"And what is to stop it from turning? What happens when it inevitably causes harm?" Solas replied.

"We can't just assume she will. Look at her, she's remarkable!" The dragon let out another happy trill. "Unlike anything I have ever seen! We can't destroy her under the presumption that she may hurt someone," she argued. "Besides…wouldn't a dragon be useful?"

"It is a dragon!" he repeated yet again. "You are not keeping a dragon! It is not some pet! Have you gone completely mad?!"

"I'm not saying we bring her home with us…just…maybe…keep her here…" Ellana went on carefully. She turned to the beast, holding out a hand. "Wouldn't that be nice? Would you like that if we visited you?" she babied.

The dragon whined, leaning in to her touch. Solas glared at her and the beast let out a low growl in his direction.

"Look at her; she's intelligent. If it were any other creature you wouldn't be so opposed! It's almost like she understands me," she continued.

"It is a dragon! It does not understand you. You have gone completely mad," he said, throwing up his hands again and walking away.

She followed Solas down the path. Rumbling nervously the dragon climbed down the cliffs a respectful distance behind them. Solas looked back at it and Ellana with annoyance.

"You cannot be serious," he uttered before muttering something in elven.

Ellana raised a hand to the dragon before catching up with Solas. Letting out a mournful whine it stopped dutifully.

"Solas?" she enquired carefully. "This isn't about the dragon is it? Talk to me."

He stopped in his tracks.

"Do you have any idea how scared I was?! I thought that thing was going to kill you and there would be nothing I could do but watch!" he yelled. "I told you to stay by my side!"

"I know but I didn't realise you had gone! It's all so fascinating and I guess I just wandered off. I'm sorry," Ellana replied with genuine feeling.

Solas sighed.

"I suppose I too lost track of you in the wake of this place; we're both guilty of the same transgression," he mused, kissing her forehead in appreciation of her survival.

"At least we got a dragon out of it," she mumbled against him.

He broke away from her, rolling his eyes. Following behind Ellana made her way through the ruined pillars towards the evident doorway. She gazed with wonder at the spire as they passed.

"What is this place?" she asked with a gasp. "Is that magic?" She pointed towards the spire.

"I believe so. For what purpose I do not know," Solas replied. "It is likely powering something inside."

The two came to rest at the door. Solas placed a hand on it and his brow furrowed.

"What is inside? Can you open it?" Ellana asked.

"I have no idea, could be anything," he replied dismissively. "I think…" He stopped mid-stream and his eyes started to glow. "It is locked but I think I can…"

A monumental roar drowned out his voice as the dragon came barrelling down the cliff side. Wings outstretched and teeth bared it roared at him again. The air around him crackled as he turned to face it. Ellana ran in front.

"No!" she screamed.

The beast backed away with a whine but Solas did no such thing.

"Go!" she shouted to the dragon and to her surprise it backed away further.

Solas looked just as surprised as she was. Finally placated he turned back to the door but the dragon let out a low growl.

"I don't think she wants us to go in," Ellana mused, still watching her pet.

"It is a dragon. What does it know?" Solas added with a laugh.

His eyes glowed and with a gesture something snapped in the door. He pushed it open with ease. The dragon let out another growl.

"Solas, are you sure we should go in?" Ellana asked with worry.

"You are seriously trusting the judgement of a dragon? Seriously?" he replied mockingly.

He didn't wait for her, walking through without any hesitation. Taking one last look back at her new friend Ellana followed reluctantly behind.

* * *

The deeper they went the darker it got. Solas had conjured a ball of light that followed them as they went but they still couldn't see much. Ellana could still hear the quiet whines of the dragon from outside but she didn't focus on them. As they went further in she started to feel an all-consuming sense of dread that she couldn't explain. She could focus on little else. Solas seemed to know where he was going despite the poor light. Ellana could hear something crackling beyond and she wondered if that was what was drawing him. A glow of blue light became visible as they reached an archway. Ellana stopped suddenly.

"Do you hear that?" she asked, fear evident in her tone.

"What? The crackling? I think it is magic of some sort; likely a barrier," Solas responded, turning back to her with concern.

"No, not that," she said. She stopped to listen intently and he joined her. "The whispering. Do you hear it?"

Surprise flickered across his expression for a fraction of a second. He came to her side with a doubting look.

"No…I do not hear any whispers. What are they saying?"

"I don't know, I can't hear them properly, they're so quiet." Ellana stopped again to listen. Her face was paler than usual. "We shouldn't be here."

"Vhenan, you are worrying over nothing," Solas remarked, turning back towards the blue glow. "If there were dangers they would have shown themselves by now."

Ellana couldn't follow him. She couldn't explain it but she felt too heavy to move. The whispers evaporated and for a brief moment silence surrounded her. Suddenly deafening screams clouded her mind.

"Solas?" she said uselessly before collapsing to the floor.

* * *

"Then I'll go in and wake her!"

Ellana could hear Solas's voice murkily in the background of her mind. She couldn't tell if she was awake. She was definitely lying down but she had no idea where she was beyond that.

"That would be unwise. The shock of suddenly waking could be dangerous."

The replying voice sounded like Mirwen. Ellana chased the groggy feeling from her mind. She couldn't remember what had led to her being here. She tried to open her eyes but the light was blinding.

"Solas?" she said weakly.

He came to her side, grasping her hand desperately.

"Ellana? Ellana are you okay?"

She forced her eyes open as much as she could and the sight of his distraught face came slowly in to view.

"I…I don't know," she replied looking around in confusion.

Solas closed his eyes in relief. Mirwen had come to her side as well, concern evident in her features. She said something to Solas but Ellana couldn't make it out. She was too focused on her memories that were slowly returning.

"I couldn't move and the sound was deafening and then…" Ellana thought aloud. "There was a shadow and then it all went black. Did I fall?" A thought suddenly occurred to her. "The baby! Is the baby alright?! Was I hurt?!"

"Everything is fine," Solas reassured, clutching her hand more tightly. "I caught you in time."

"Did you…did you see anything? Did you hear it?" she asked, desperate to prove it hadn't all been in her imagination.

"No vhenan. I heard nothing," he replied carefully. "When you fell I brought you back home immediately. I never found out what…"

"A word," Mirwen interjected, placing a hand on Solas's shoulder.

He looked up at her angrily. Ellana wondered if he had already chastised Mirwen for insisting she be allowed to attend the ruins in the first place. He turned back to Ellana with a kinder expression.

"Vhenan, I will be right back. If you need me…"

"I know," Ellana interrupted.

He left her side to speak with Mirwen. Ellana tried to look around the room, still unsure where she was. Her vision was still blurry but she could tell that she was in a tent of some sort. She presumed it must be Mirwen's. Her vision started to clear and she could see the two talking a short distance away. She couldn't hear what they were saying but Solas looked decidedly sceptical. He must have recovered somewhat but she could still see he was ashen with worry. Ellana touched a hand to her stomach and closed her eyes. In the darkness she saw great blue eyes flashing back at her quizzically.

"What happened to the dragon?" she asked. "You didn't hurt her did you?"

Solas and Mirwen, their conversation cut short, both looked at her in surprise.

"No, I did not have to," he replied, coming back over to her side. "When I carried you out it was so focused on the door – roaring, burning… When I return I will no doubt see her again if that would ease your worry?"

"Return? Inside?! No! You can't go back in there!" Ellana exclaimed.

"What? Why? I have to, vhenan," he replied. "There's a barrier which means there is something in there. It could be what we need. Whoever put it there must be trying to keep people out."

"Or keep something in. Please don't go back in there. Please!"

Solas raised an eyebrow doubtingly.

"It's something terrible, I know it is! The wyvern, the key, the dragon, the barrier…all there to keep people away. " she went on.

He shook his head. "Vhenan that is…"

"Please! I am begging you!" Ellana cried, sitting up in desperation. She was becoming panicked, too panicked.

"Calm down," Solas appeased. Ellana made to yell again but he gently lowered her back on to the bed. "For now, I will not but you need to calm down and give yourself time to recover."

"I want to go home! I want to go home and for you to stay with me! I need you to stay with me," she cried out.

Solas held her in his arms, keeping her from rising again.

"I will vhenan. I will."

* * *

Once Ellana had calmed down Solas had carried her back to the tower. In her own bed and with him by her side she had finally managed to fall asleep. Seeing her this way had been upsetting to say the least. He should never have let her come with him.

It took a couple of days but she managed to recover fully. She still bore some light injuries from her fall but mercifully it was nothing lasting. Even once her sense had fully returned she still insisted he couldn't return to the ruin. She actually wanted to go back, intent on seeing her unlikely friend again but she seemed fearful that if she did, he would too. She thought she hid it well but he knew that she intended to return without him. She didn't lie directly about it but he could still tell. It seemed they were both drawn to the ways of deception.

* * *

Ellana sat on the cliff edge singing quietly. Still fearful, she had wanted to stay as far from the ruined doorway as possible. It still bore the blemishes of the dragon's onslaught with scorch marks evident on the stone surfaces. She looked at it suspiciously from her perch. Beside her the dragon languished, rumbling happily like a purring cat. When she had returned it had greeted her with apprehension but with patience it had come around; bounding to her and nuzzling against her as gently as such a massive creature could. It was a strange feeling having something so dangerous behaving so meekly. Ellana reached out a hand to touch the beast's warm skin. It was still soothing.

The dragon's head shot up suddenly and the tendrils at the side of its head twitched. Ellana followed its flashing gaze.

"I should have known I would find you here," Solas remarked from below.

The beast growled in his direction and moved in challenge. Ellana got up from her perch.

"It's okay, it's Solas," she said in a soothing tone but the beast seemed unconvinced. Ellana met Solas and to his surprise kissed him. "See?" she asked, turning back to the dragon. "We like him."

The dragon let out a resigned whine and curled itself back up.

"You should not have come here alone," Solas chastised. "Such reckless behaviour is not…"

"I know. I should be more careful," she interrupted. "I just wanted to see her again and I didn't think you would approve."

"Since when has that ever stopped you?" he joked.

Ellana smiled up at him. "Come, you should meet her properly," she said, leading him by the arm.

The beast raised its head quizzically as they neared but made no moves to resist.

"Are you sure that is wise?" he asked in a worried tone. "She does not seem keen on me and I…"

He trailed off as Ellana placed his hand on the dragon's skin. Satisfying warmth bled in to his palm. The dragon rumbled quietly.

"See? He's quite nice really," Ellana babied.

The dragon let out a happy trill at Ellana's attention. Ellana looked up at Solas with a wide grin.

"Can you believe it? A dragon! I never thought… They were certainly right when they said there was power here!"

"I do not believe that is what they meant vhenan," Solas replied, turning his attention towards the still open doorway.

Ellana let out a long sigh.

"You still want to go back in there don't you?" she uttered. She didn't want to fight anymore.

"There is something undeniable in there; you felt the worst of it. Even if it is as dangerous as it seems I need to know what it is; I need to know if we can use it," he explained.

"And you can't know that without releasing it? That was your intention was it not? Could you not at least study it first, learn all you can before opening it?" she asked worriedly. He looked uneasy. "It endangered my life and the life of our child, Solas; the very least you can do is approach it with caution."

Her words brought back the unpleasant reminder that in her absence this would be so much easier. Reluctantly he nodded.

"As you wish vhenan. For now entry to the ruin and study will have to do but there will likely come a time when that is no longer sufficient. When that time comes hopefully you will trust me."

Ellana didn't say anything, opting instead to run a hand along the dragon's monumental horns.

"Do you still think she can understand you?" Solas asked, taking Ellana's hand in his own.

"I'm certain," she replied with a happy nod.

She pulled him to the side to stand away from the dragon.

"Dragon!" she shouted. The beast looked up at her curiously. "Ise!"

A small stream of bright blue flames puffed out from the dragon's jaws. Solas could feel the heat and was pleased that the beast had not let out a larger stream. The dragon let out a happy trill as Ellana praised her.

"Impressive!" Solas remarked with genuine surprise. The bond the two were already showing was remarkable to say the least.

"I know, isn't it? I really need to think of a name for her; can't be calling her 'dragon' all the time, seems kind of rude! I was thinking of something related to snow. I wanted to honour Ari and given her colour I thought snow the natural part to focus on."

"Areina – 'my little snow dweller'; hardly fitting for a massive beast that lives in sun-scorched cliffs." He thought for a moment. "How about Dhaveira?"

"Hmmm…Dhaveira… 'Snow kissed' isn't it?" Solas nodded. "I like it. What do you think?" Ellana asked, turning to the dragon. "Dhaveira, ise!"

The beast let out a flurry of flames and Ellana clapped in adoration. Solas watched her with a wide smile. She was so beautiful when she was happy.

* * *

 **A/N - Yay Dinky!**


	23. Wicked Game

Ellana lay on the bed in a sweaty heap unable to think clearly. By her side Solas lay back in a state of equal ruin. It was the middle of the day but both had needed a release for their growing nerves. Dorian had written again and in amongst his glad tidings the news was troubling. Ellana's faculties slowly returned with each panting breath.

"That was remarkable," she uttered through her hard breathing. "Feel better?"

"The tension has certainly lessened but now I could sleep for an age," he whined, rolling in to her gratefully.

"That is the inherent problem with doing this during the day, no time!"

Ellana kissed his cheek before getting up. She made her way through to the bathroom stopping at the mirror to run a hand through her messy hair. The bath had already been filled but when passed her fingers through the waters her nose wrinkled. They had taken longer than she anticipated and the water had cooled to an unpleasantly lukewarm temperature. Nonetheless she climbed in. She did not intend to languish anyway.

"You are leaving already?" Solas called out from the bed.

"I have to. I'm going to talk to Shivra."

"About Lori?!" Solas exclaimed in a worried tone. She heard him rise quickly from the bed before appearing at the door. "Do you want me to come with you? At least then she will not…"

"She's not going to hurt me, Solas; at least I would hope… I know she's pretty damn hot-blooded but you would think that she at least has some control…" She paused, pondering her fate. "If I'm not back by this evening then avenge me!" she joked with a giggle.

"Of course, vhenan," he replied, with an eyebrow raised in mock judgement. He left her to wash. "Are you going to take them to meet your pet?"

"She is hardly my pet. Besides, you of all people should not be giving me ideas. If she were my pet you would have to build me a much larger tower!"

His head reappeared in the doorway briefly to glare at her. Ellana laughed.

"I still am not fond of you visiting her without me. It is dangerous despite what you may think," he called through as Ellana finished up.

"I never claimed she wasn't dangerous. Maybe I'm drawn to it. Here I am with you and you're just as dangerous," she replied smirking to herself.

She got out of the bath with a shiver and started eagerly drying off.

"That is hardly the same. I am not a creature legendary for its vicious nature," Solas replied with annoyance.

Ellana stopped towelling as she stifled a laugh.

"Um…Solas…or should I say Fen'Harel…" She giggled. "Did you seriously just…"

"Yes, I heard it!"

She tied her hair up and came out to meet him with an apologetic kiss. He kept glaring at her but she could see the ghost of a smile creeping in to his expression.

"You are such a tease," he remarked letting the half-smile take over.

"I know," she replied, kissing him again.

His hand went to her bare stomach. It was not large, still invisible under loose clothing, but very apparent in her nude state. Ellana smiled as she placed her hand atop his.

"Such a tiny thing but yet it has changed our world," Solas remarked wistfully.

Ellana looked in to his downcast eyes and saw a glint of something there. He pulled away from her to finish dressing but Ellana kept her gaze planted firmly on him.

"Why won't you talk to me about it?" she asked.

"I do, regularly," he replied dismissively.

"About my safety and the baby's health but never anything beyond that." She started dressing hoping he would be more open to discussion without her full attention. "I want to know what you are thinking; how you feel about it all."

"Overwhelmed," he stated, avoiding looking at her.

"And?"

He let out a long sigh. "Ellana, I am not trying to purposefully hide from you if that is what you are thinking but I need time. I need to process everything myself before I can even think about…"

"But I want to help!" she interrupted. "I just want to know where you are and consolidate it with where I am."

"I am not saying I am unwilling to discuss your feelings, vhenan. I am here for you whenever you need me."

"I know that and I want to do the same for you! I want to be there for you," Ellana interrupted again.

"I know you do but that is just not my way, vhenan. It is not in my nature to air what I am feeling before I even truly know. It is not due to a defect on your part or our relationship's; it is merely a part of who I am. I need time."

Ellana nodded somewhat reluctantly. He came to her and lifted her chin so she met his gaze.

"I promise you, once I am ready you will be the first to know," he stated, kissing her lightly.

She smiled weakly up at him and he left her to resume dressing. She didn't want the conversation to end but she knew that pushing would only hurt the situation.

"I have to go," she eventually said. "I've left Dorian's letter on your desk if you want to read it but it is pretty much as I said."

Solas ran a hand over his head, reluctant to return to the working mind-set.

"If Orlais is coming around then we have a lot of work to do," Ellana added.

"Indeed but I doubt reading his exact words will offer much assistance."

"You're probably right," she replied, coming back over to his side. "But maybe you'll see something I didn't." She kissed him on the cheek before turning to leave.

"Wait."

He turned her back to him and pulled her hair free of the tie. With a hand he tousled her locks lightly, a gentle smile forming on his face.

"You are so beautiful," he uttered quietly.

She kissed him deeply before placing another lighter kiss on his lips.

"See you later…hopefully!" she joked as she made for the door.

"Maybe remind Shivra that you are carrying my child before you anger her, vhenan!" he called after her.

* * *

Ellana passed through the mirror on to the beach with Shivra, Lis and Miris in tow. She gave her friends a moment to take in their surroundings, not paying attention to their awe filled comments. She was too busy worrying about how she was going to approach Shivra. Since Lori had returned their relationship had been strained. Shivra still held an aversion towards her that Ellana found hard to understand. At first it had been easy to ignore as Ellana was too focused on seeing Lori through her grief but as that had lessened it became even more apparent. Lis had suggested they offer Lori a place on the team and truth be told Ellana had been thinking the same. She seemed such a natural choice – she was already friends with both her and Lis, she was skilled and, most of all, Ellana had trusted her. She needed people she could trust.

"So where is she?" Lis asked excitedly, tapping Ellana on the shoulder and free from her worries.

Ellana had seen so many dragons in her time that the idea of never having seen one seemed completely foreign. She could only imagine how her friends were feeling but their excitement still concerned her. So far the dragon had only met Solas up close and she did worry how she would react to a group, let alone an excited one. However, her bond with the beast had only grown over the last few days. Each day she visited had lessened the beast's apprehension more and more. Ellana felt like they now shared a mutual trust and hopefully that would prevent the worst from happening.

"She's inside," Ellana replied gesturing towards the opening in the cliffs. She corralled the rest of the group to her. "Try and remain calm, okay? I'm not sure how she is going to react but whatever you do, no sudden movements and absolutely no running. If I say you have to leave, do so slowly. Understand?"

"You are quite sure about this?" Miris asked sceptically.

Ellana smiled as she made her way towards the opening. The others stood nervously waiting.

"If you don't want to come I will understand but then you will miss seeing the ancient dragon…" Ellana slyly remarked.

Miris let out an angry noise and followed behind her. The others quickly filed in behind. The journey through was much easier than it had been before. Solas had spent some time clearing many of the more obstructing boulders. Originally Ellana presumed he was doing this for his own convenience but now she wondered if it was more with her in mind. As she grew larger she couldn't exactly be clambering through rocks and, although he hardly encouraged her visits, he knew her well enough to know she would keep them up. Once the group had made their way beyond the tunnel her friends let out further gasps at the sight of the ruin itself. Ellana scanned the area but couldn't see the dragon anywhere. She led her friends cautiously up the cliff-side path.

" _She must be out hunting_ ," Ellana thought.

It was unusual for a high dragon to do her own hunting but she was alone; she had no drakes to do it for her. The group eventually reached the top. A thick fog obscured the distant ocean so Ellana was unable to confirm her suspicions.

"You're sure you're ready?" Ellana asked the group.

Each one nodded. With their assent Ellana let out a loud whistle that reverberated through the valley.

"Dhaveira!" she called out.

Her voice echoed off the stone, becoming fainter with each repetition. She was about to call again when she heard a deep shrieking sound in the distance. Wings beating against the air could be heard drawing closer and she knew she had met her mark. Ellana followed the sound to determine the direction.

"Get behind me," she said, gesturing to her friends. "Do not move until I say."

Her friends all nodded as another shriek sounded. Ellana let out another whistle.

"By the gods…" Miris gasped.

The white dragon had broken free of the fog, colossal wings flying her towards them with surprising speed.

"It's fucking huge!" Shivra exclaimed.

The dragon slowed as she reached the island; guiding herself down to the ledge with the grace of a much smaller creature. With a crash of stone she landed in front of them. She bounded to greet Ellana, letting our happy trills. Ellana's friends took an instinctive step back. Ellana met the beasts head with a light stroke, feeling the warmth bleed in to her. The dragon nuzzled in to her gently letting out another softer shriek.

"Hello again my friend," Ellana greeted in a soothing tone. "Were you out hunting?"

The beast let out another happy trill, eagerly leaning in to Ellana's hand. She had learned that this meant Dhaveira wanted more so she kept on stroking obediently.

"I've brought some friends for you to meet. Do you think you would like that?"

The dragon paid little mind to her words. Ellana stopped caressing her to give her a chance to notice their company.

"See?" Ellana asked, turning to the side so the dragon could see her anxious friends more clearly.

The white dragon let out a low growl as she sniffed them intently. She drew closer to Lis sniffing her with particular favour. A low rumble sounded in the dragon's chest. Ellana took Lis's hand and placed it carefully on the dragon's skin. Lis let out a small gasp of amazement.

"Go ahead," Ellana prodded. "She likes when you rub her nose."

Lis looked on with wide eyes but slowly she started to run her hand along the bridge of the dragon's snout. A contented rumble reverberated around them.

* * *

"You are just so pretty aren't you?" Lis babied as the dragon trilled happily beneath her touch.

Ellana tried her best not to feel jealous but it was proving difficult. The dragon seemed to love Lis. To Ellana's relief she had allowed the others to touch her as well but Lis was the clear favourite. Miris had wandered off to explore the ruins with Shivra following but she had quickly grown bored. Shivra had no real interest in elven ruins. She now sat on the cliff edge admiring the ocean and Ellana reluctantly saw the opportunity. She left Lis, confident the dragon would do her no harm, and sat down alongside Shivra.

"Dragon not doing it for you?" Ellana asked hoping to set a lighter mood.

"It's pretty damn remarkable but I dunno…it's weird seeing one like this," Shivra replied carefully. "I guess I'll like it more when it's burning our enemies to a crisp."

"You sound just like Solas. He talks about her like she's some tool to be used in whatever war he's anticipating…"

"Well he's right isn't he? Would be a waste to have a dragon and not use it," Shivra added with a confused expression.

"I know but I just worry that if we open that door then it won't ever close. I don't want her to become just like any other dragon," Ellana mused.

"I dunno, she seems pretty stuck in her ways," Shivra remarked, looking back on coddling Lis with a laugh.

A silence descended between them. Shivra had seemed oddly contented recently and the last thing Ellana wanted to do was spoil that for her. Unfortunately it was necessary. She let out a long cleansing breath before speaking.

"There's something we need to talk about."

"Yeah, I know," Shivra replied seeming uncharacteristically resigned. "The Dalish one."

Shivra always avoided using Lori's name whenever she could.

"Lori; her name is Lori," Ellana added angrily. "And yes we need to talk about her. I want to ask her to join the team and…"

"You mean take Ari's place; only she fucking can't. She may be Dalish but she's no Ari!"

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" Ellana exclaimed finding it difficult to keep her cool. "No one can ever replace Ari but she is my friend and I want her with us."

Shivra scoffed angrily. "Well don't come crying to me when she fucks you over! I don't trust her Ellana and you shouldn't either."

"Are you sure that's the reason? You seem jealous."

"Fuck no!" Shivra exclaimed angrily. She made to shout again but stopped herself. She took in a few deep breaths before continuing much calmer. "She's you're friend so I guess you can't see it but it's there. The way she looks at you when she thinks you can't see… You can't trust her."

"You're wrong. She's my friend and you might not know what that means but I know I can trust her," Ellana replied coldly.

Shivra looked hurt but she managed to maintain her composure. It was bizarre seeing her successfully avoiding anger.

"Look, at the end of the day it's your decision. I've said my piece and if this is what you want then go right ahead but don't say I didn't warn you," Shivra said.

She got up and left Ellana sitting alone on the cliffs.

* * *

The group had made their way through the forest and back to camp. Shivra had said nothing more about Lori. She was never going to be happy with Ellana's decision but at least it seemed like she respected it. Shivra seemed so much calmer, more in control and Ellana couldn't help but wonder what had changed.

When they finally reached the camp Ellana's mood instantly darkened. Lori was where they had left her; restringing her bow by the fire; but she was no longer alone. Another woman stood at her side, long dark hair fluttering in the breeze. Ellana recognised that hair. Liahra's impatient expression stared back at her as she turned. Her dark eyes glinted wickedly, foot tapping with annoyance. Ellana steeled herself.

"Ah the revered She-Wolf finally graces us with her presence. Off playing at leadership were you?" the elf remarked coldly.

Ellana readied a suitably stony reply but Shivra beat her to it.

"Who the fuck is this bitch?"

" _Couldn't have said it better myself_ ," Ellana thought, chuckling to herself.

But Liahra was entirely unfazed. She regarded Shivra with a cold, contemptuous look before turning her attention back to Ellana.

"How silly of me, I forget we have yet to be formally introduced. I am Liahra and I have been a commander in your…lover's…" she sneered the word with her lip curled. "…army for some time."

Ellana winced on the inside damning Solas for ever choosing to associate with this woman.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" Shivra bellowed before Ellana could react. "You jealous or something because it fucking seems like it! If you've got a problem with her then you've got a problem with all of us, bitch!"

Shivra advanced threateningly but Liahra just rolled her eyes.

"My problem does not concern you or any of your little friends," she replied coolly. She turned to Ellana with an amused expression. "Are all your soldiers so boorish? Hardly the image the great She-Wolf should be portraying is it?"

"Enough," Ellana interjected before Shivra had a chance to strangle her. "What do you want? I doubt you came here just to exchange insults."

"No, unfortunately I did not," Liahra replied. She paused to look contemptuously at Ellana's surrounding friends.

"Come inside; we can talk alone," Ellana said, gesturing to her disused tent.

Her friends looked on with worry as she led the elf inside. Once inside Liahra cast an amused glance around the sparse surroundings.

"Why are you here, Liahra? Why come to me with anything when you so clearly regard me with nothing but contempt?" Ellana prompted.

Liahra's lips broke in to a sneer. "Trust me, if I had any other option I would never have come but sadly you appear to be the only one he listens to; although I couldn't tell you why."

"You speak of Fen'Harel I assume?" Ellana replied, her lip curling in annoyance. "Perhaps he would listen to you if you were a little less difficult? Your approach certainly leaves much to be desired."

"You think so do you? I imagine he would disagree. After all, he has trusted my council for quite some time before you showed up," Liahra remarked, a hint of genuine anger entering her tone. She stopped to let out a long sigh. "Look, as you no doubt are aware Fen'Harel is not one to shy away from argument. Usually that argument is entirely warranted and he more than makes that plain but in this case he is blinded. He has no just reasoning but yet he refuses and that is not how he operates; he does not sacrifice obvious gain without cause."

"And what is your point exactly? What are we talking about here?" Ellana interrupted.

"Tevinter."

Ellana raised an eyebrow. "But he does have reasons to wait, perfectly just ones. We need to be fully prepared before we can make our move. We need information and he has not managed to break the Magister so…"

"And you believe that?!" Liahra interrupted with a cold laugh, her hair dancing with her amusement. "How long has it been? Too long in my estimations. From what you know of the Magister, and considering how close you got I presume you know more than most, do you honestly think he could last this long beneath the wrath of the Dread Wolf? Are you honestly that foolish or will you just believe anything he tells you?"

Ellana couldn't tell if it was just anger or the fact that what Liahra was saying made a lot of sense but she lost her composure. She shoved Liahra against one of the supports and brought her forearm to rest across her throat.

"What are you trying to say; that he's lying to me?! You don't know what you're talking about!" Ellana yelled inches from Liahra's face.

The dark haired elf barely reacted. She fixed Ellana with a cold stare.

"I am saying that you should ask him yourself," she replied coolly. "Find out that his reasons have nothing to do with our cause and I fear everything to do with you. You have ruined him," she looked down sneeringly at Ellana's stomach. "Both of you. If you can't make him see sense then the blood of those we lose is on your hands."

Ellana released her letting out a pained noise as she did.

"Enemies advance on all sides and we stand in the centre, waiting. We cannot afford to wait any longer," Liahra went on. "Ask him. See for yourself."

Liahra made for the opening but stopped just before reaching it.

"Congratulations by the way," she remarked, gesturing towards Ellana's belly. "Hopefully the accident has a happy ending."

Ellana closed her eyes and let out a long sigh as Liahra left the tent.

"Fuck…"

* * *

Ellana refused to believe what she had heard. She was going to talk to Solas about it, there was no doubt in her mind about that, but she wouldn't believe a word of it until she had heard it from him. She told herself that Liahra was just making it up; trying to poke holes in their relationship. She told herself she was certain he would not lie to her again. Yet a small, logical part of her couldn't deny that Liahra's claims did make a lot of sense. She had been too distracted recently to wonder about the Magister or question the lack of progress but the more she thought about it the more unlikely it seemed that he was still managing to hold out. Ellana struck these thoughts from her mind. She had to deal with her friends before she could find out the truth of the matter.

"What was that bitch's problem?" Shivra asked angrily as Ellana finally emerged from the tent.

Ellana ignored her, too busy scouting the area to ensure Liahra had left.

"She's gone," she uttered with a sigh of relief as she sat down amongst her expectant friends.

"What did she want?" Lis asked carefully, not sure it was her place.

"She wants me to talk to Solas about something; try and convince him…"

"Bitch should do it herself!" Shivra interrupted loudly. "What the fuck does she think you are; her errand boy?"

"It's not that simple," Ellana replied.

"Who even was she?" Miris piped up. "She really didn't seem to like you…"

"She's a member of Solas's council, one of his top commanders and no, she does not like me," Ellana explained blankly.

"Won't he be mad that she treated you in that way? She was pretty damn rude," Lis added.

"Not everyone is going to like me or our relationship," Ellana said in a resigned tone. "I don't need him to fight my battles for me or you guys for that matter so don't even start, Shivra." Shivra closed her open mouthed with a crestfallen look. "I can handle her; I've dealt with far worse."

"I suppose you can," Miris replied.

Ellana looked on at their worried faces. She had never liked being pitied. Lori was the pleasant exception; her features held little expression. Her green eyes glinted as Ellana gazed at her.

"We need to talk," Ellana eventually said.

Lori looked taken aback and for a fleeting moment nervous.

"There is something I want to ask you," Ellana clarified.

Shivra rolled her eyes as Ellana got up. Lori nodded and followed her out towards the forest.

"How are you?" Ellana asked, trying to break the odd tension that had formed between them as they walked. "I mean…how are you getting on?"

Lori's expression remained impassive. To those that didn't know her she seemed innocent and sweet with her doe-eyed, freckled looks. During a job she would even play on this – acting naïve and child-like to fool their marks but Ellana knew better. Lori was cunning and when it came to her work she was ruthless.

"Better. It has been difficult but I feel like I have turned a corner. Your teammates have generally been really nice to me," Lori started, not making eye contact.

"Generally? You're talking about Shivra…"

"She doesn't seem to like me much," Lori muttered with a notable hint of sadness in her tone.

"Shivra is…a difficult person to get to know. She was the same with me in the beginning. It takes a lot of time and a lot of insults but once you do know her she's a good person," Ellana replied.

"Lis said pretty much the same thing. I can understand her apprehension. I've come in out of nowhere and she's threatened. It's fair enough."

Ellana nodded as they reached the trees. Lori looked expectant as though she knew what was coming. Ellana wondered if Lis had already told her.

"But you do feel better, being here with us?" Ellana asked hopefully.

Lori finally looked up. "I do. I feel like I have new purpose and that is just what I needed," she replied. Her lip curled at one side for a split second before forming in to a gentle smile.

"Good, I'm glad. I…I wanted to ask you if…" Ellana had never felt nervous about asking someone to join her team before but for some reason she was feeling it now. "I wanted to know if you would be interested in staying with us; joining the team full time? It's fine if you don't want to and you don't have to answer right away but I wanted to ask."

Lori's expression remained unchanged for a moment before turning exuberant.

"Of course I would! This is all I've ever wanted!" she exclaimed running to hug Ellana. "Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome," Ellana uttered, crushed by Lori's embrace.

"I have to go tell Lis!"

She released Ellana and ran off back towards camp with an excited spring in her step. Ellana contentedly watched her go, even more convinced that Shivra was wrong about her.

* * *

Ellana felt nothing but trepidation as she entered the tower. Elves milling about the corridor stopped what they were doing to whisper to one another. They tried to conceal that she was the topic of conversation but she knew nonetheless. It was such a regular occurrence now that she didn't dwell on it for long. She made for the platform, stopping briefly to gaze at the doorway that led down to the Magister's prison.

" _Are you even still in there?"_ she thought in a moment of fleeting doubt.

She had made her way here as soon as she could so it was early. She stopped at the office door and listened for voices. Hearing none, she entered. Solas looked up from his desk and met her with a warm smile that glinted into his eyes.

"So you survived! That is a relief," he said, his grin widening as he got up. "With the way this day has been going I expected nothing positive would ever come."

He embraced her and kissed her gratefully.

"Bad day?" Ellana asked, questioning if she should even broach the subject of Tevinter.

"I am afraid so," he lamented but when he looked down on her the smiling glint still remained in his eyes. "The reports we have received from Orlais suggest that Magister Pavus was unfortunately correct. The Orlesians are now finding our version of events wanting and thus seriously considering the Inquisition's proposal. I fear our time of relative peace is coming to an end."

"But how can you know for sure? Surely keeping agents in Orlais is somewhat of an impossible task."

"You would think so but no. Your work repairing Briala's relationship with the Empress all those years ago aided me greatly," he replied, stroking her hair appreciatively. "With Briala, come elves and amongst those elves are our people. Your actions paved the way for them."

"Yet another thing you owe me for," Ellana remarked jokingly.

"Indeed." He let out a slight chuckle and planted a light kiss on her forehead. "So, how was your discussion? Did she react as negatively as you expected?"

"She was pretty calm actually. It's bizarre, she seems so much more stable these days," Ellana replied. Looking up at him she noted the knowing look that passed briefly across his expression. She would have to ask him about that later. "She is adamant I can't trust Lori which could create tension but otherwise it went better than I had expected."

He looked suddenly concerned. "Why does she believe you cannot trust her?"

"She didn't really say. Something about the way she looks at me. Like you could tell from that alone!"

"I would not dismiss her concerns so readily, vhenan. You can tell a great deal from a simple look," he retorted looking decidedly sceptical. "I know she was your friend but time can change much. Shivra has proven herself to be trustworthy and is far from incapable; her judgement is certainly worthy of at least some consideration."

"I know. I would never dismiss her outright but I just don't see it. That said if it will ease your worries…" She reached up and touched his cheek. "…I'll keep it in mind going forward."

"Good," he finished, planting another kiss amongst her hair.

He left her side to bring order to the papers he had been working on. Considering his day had been anything but enjoyable he seemed in a surprisingly good mood. Ellana fidgeted nervously as her mind raced with indecision. So lost in thought she didn't notice him turning back and watching her. He cocked his head to the side and his brow furrowed.

"Is everything alright, vhenan?" he asked.

"I… Well…" she stuttered, her mind stalled at his unexpected attention. "Liahra came to see me."

His eyes widened. "Why? I was not even aware she was here. Did she mistreat you?"

"That's neither here nor there…"

"So she did?" He let out an angry noise. "The one thing I asked of her is that she leave you out of this! I…"

"She wanted to talk to me about Tevinter," Ellana interrupted. He instantly stopped raving and his expression quickly became blank. "I need to ask you about it."

He clutched his arms behind his back in his natural defensive posture. It appeared deceptively open but Ellana knew better.

"What would you have me tell you?" he replied, his features entirely unreadable; his tone measured.

A lump rose in Ellana's throat but she crushed it back down. He was trying to control the situation; she had seen it all before.

"I need to know why we are waiting, specifically your reasoning. You told me that we would move on Tevinter as soon as we were ready. You said that all that was left was the Magister," Ellana started with a rapid pace. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. "Liahra said some things and she made me doubt. It's been so long and you are relentless. How could he hold up under such scrutiny? I just don't understand how…"

"He is dead."

Ellana stopped talking with a start. She gazed at Solas in a state of complete confusion.

"What did you say?"

"The Magister, he is already dead, vhenan," Solas replied still expressionless.

"What?! How?!" Ellana asked more loudly than she had intended.

"He had given me all the information he could offer so I killed him."

"When?!" She didn't give him time to reply, her mind racing too fast. "So you _have_ been lying about it?! Then tell me Solas, why are we waiting?! Is there an actual reason or is that a lie too?!"

"I did not lie to you; I kept it from you," he replied, his façade starting to crack. "It is there, vhenan. What we need is in Tevinter and I cannot face that yet. The last thing I wanted was to have to wage full-blown war on the Imperium, especially now. I need more time."

"That is no reason to lie to me! If you want to avoid it then do! We have other options!"

"No, we do not," he murmured suddenly sheepish.

"What do you mean?!"

He looked anywhere but at her.

"But the ruins?!" she exclaimed questioningly. He offered no answer. Her eyes widened as she reached the answer on her own. "You _did_ hear it, didn't you? You know exactly what's in there! You know it isn't what we need," she thought aloud, her voice cracking.

He closed his eyes, resigned to what was to come.

"You lied about that too?! How could you do that to me?!" Ellana yelled closing the distance between them. "What is it, Solas?! Tell me now!"

"I cannot do that, vhenan. Everything I have done I did to save you. I knew you would try and stop me but I cannot lose you." He could no longer keep his emotions crushed inside and tears welled in his eyes. He took her by the shoulders. "She is not even born, not even in this world and I cannot…"

He trailed off unable to go on. The desperation in his eyes broke Ellana's anger and she too felt tears welling.

"Then I can't do this anymore." Ellana murmured as the first tear fell.

Solas looked at her in disbelief. "What? You cannot possibly mean…?"

"You lied to me…again. I never thought you would but you have. You broke your promise. I can't trust you and if I can't trust you…"

"No…" he uttered, his expression crumpling in despair.

"I can't do this anymore."

Ellana pulled away from his touch and her tears fell more rapidly. She turned to leave but he grabbed at her desperately.

"No, wait! We are having a child, Ellana! This cannot be the end!" he cried.

"Solas, no," she said slipping free of his grasp. "I can't. I love you…I love you so much but I can't keep living like this. Each day I have let my hopes for us grow and, just like before, you have crushed them. I can't keep doing this. I just can't. I'm sorry."

Tears flooded her as she left. She didn't look back, her resolve too weak to face what she knew she would see. She needed time to process everything that cascaded through her troubled mind. As she descended the tower she was surprised not to hear his usual angry cries and crashing of furniture but thinking on it made her feel worse. The air had not crackled; there was no glow in his eyes. He wasn't angry. All she had seen was desolation. Even though his actions had been the catalyst the thought that she had caused him to feel such pain hurt her more than anything.

* * *

 _Ellana had given up on sleep as she had for the past few nights. They had returned from the Exalted Council only days ago and her hurt was still raw. She descended the steps from her quarters. She didn't consciously decide where she was going but it was inevitable where she would end up. As she crossed the great hall there was no one there to question. Skyhold was mercifully quiet. She could hear distant voices from the courtyard. Late night revellers were no doubt keeping the inn open. When she came to the painted room, as she always did, she looked on the walls blankly. She sat down on the stone floor as her tears started to well._

 _"I am stronger than this," she thought desperately._

 _She thought back to a time when she had been just as lost; the last time he had walked away from her. Her friends had tried to keep her afloat as best they could. She recalled one night at the inn, taken under duress. For a time they had succeeded in keeping her pain at bay but an unexpected detail made her crumble. The bard sang, as she had done for much of the night, but this song was different. The words rung so true that she could have sworn they were about her. In hindsight she doubted that were true but at the time she had felt ashamed. That night she committed the song to memory as a reminder that she needed to find her strength lest she fail those that counted on her._

 _In the painted room she started singing that song, desperately trying to find her strength once again. She managed for some time, holding back the tears through sheer strength of will but a wolf howling in the distance made her stop. She looked up at the sound as a familiar tormentor._

 _"No…" she uttered._

 _As a second howl came in reply to the first her will broke._

 _"Leave me alone! Please!" she yelled taking to her feet._

 _Silence for a while before a third howl mercilessly sounded._

 _"No! Leave me alone!" she screamed in rage._

 _She picked up the nearest object and threw it at the wall, screaming still. With her will gone tears had started to fall, hot and rage-filled. She picked up anything she could find to hurl and the walls cracked under the impact. The last object left her hand waywardly, slashing at her as it went. Blood spattered on the floor and she let out another scream. She fell in a heap. On her hands and knees she sobbed in to the ground, struggling to breathe. She was aware of nothing as her pain hit her with full force._

 _"Wake." A whisper from the beyond ordered._

Her mind drifted free. At first she didn't know where she was. She gazed up and caught sight of the walls she knew so well. Her chest hurt from the crying and her breathing was still laboured. She pushed herself up to catch her breath and a twinge of pain ran through her injured hand. She looked down at her bloodstained palm and to her shock the flesh knitted back together.

"What the…"

She stared at her healed hand in utter confusion.

"I am sorry. I should not have awakened you."

Ellana turned to the voice and was shocked to see Solas seated with his head in his hands. He would not look at her but she could tell he had been crying.

"You shouldn't even be here!" Ellana exclaimed, anger at the intrusion starting to fill her. "How dare you even…!"

"You know me better than most. You must know I have made myself watch this so many times I lost count. It was wrong of me but I had to see your pain, every moment of it," he interrupted not meeting her gaze.

Ellana's eyes still stung from her sobbing so she was powerless to stop a tear from falling.

"Why would you do that to yourself?" she asked, her anger lessened in the wake of his admission.

"Because I deserved every moment of it!" he suddenly shouted, making her jump. "I came to your side with specific purpose and what did I do? I fell in love with you. You of all people! I loved you but yet I still hurt you. I could not let myself walk away from that. I had to see what I had done."

"Even after putting yourself through all that pain you learned nothing. You are still hurting me."

Solas came down to her level. He didn't touch her, knowing that would only anger her but he still made her look at him.

"I did not do this to hurt you," he said. Ellana looked away. "After the Inquisition I told you that there was nothing I would not do to protect you. I meant every word; even if that means lying to you, even if that means hurting you. I tell you this because I know that you would do the exact same thing; you have shown that already."

"No, I would have trusted you…"

"Like you did before with the Inquisition; with our child?" he retorted, anger creeping in.

"I have made mistakes just like you have, I will never deny that, but if I chose a path like yours I would want you with me, not against me," Ellana replied managing to keep her cool.

"That is not true and you know it. In this neither of us can ever be truly honest. We both want to protect the other no matter the cost to ourselves and those are opposing ideals."

"And that is selfish…"

He looked up at her in confusion.

"You don't want to lose me. That has nothing to do with me. I accepted my fate a long time ago. Everything you are doing is for yourself. Keeping me alive is everything to you even if we both suffer as a result. I shouldn't have to accept that; no one should," she continued mirthlessly. She met his gaze. "I can't keep doing this; neither of us can."

She shook loose of him and came to her feet.

"I would like to wake up now," she requested holding back her tears.

"Ellana, please," he begged as he rose. "Please do not give up."

"I will never give up on you, Solas; never," she said looking in to his eyes. "But I don't know if I can trust you anymore. I need time and so do you."

He closed his eyes and let out a long pained breath.

"Then I am bound to giving you that time. I love you, Ellana, and I always will."

"I know," she replied.

She wanted to kiss him and forget everything so badly that the effort alone ached. His sad eyes only worsened her state. Trying to avoid his gaze she looked down at the floor. He took her chin in his hand and raised her face up to look at him.

"Ar lath ma vhenan," he said before kissing her deeply.

Beneath him she was powerless to resist. In that moment she wanted to forget everything, to forgive blindly. He pulled away from her.

"Wake up," he ordered.

She awoke instantly in her tent not knowing what she wanted anymore.

* * *

 **A/N - So Ellana's dream song... I always imagined it as 'Wicked Game' (hence the title). Blast from the past, I know but the lyrics are just so perfect for Ellana post-trespasser. Seriously, go read them, it's like it's about them. Anyways I'm not a big fan of the original; my favourite version (and the one I imagined) is a more recent one by 'Ursine Vulpine featuring Annaca' if you're interested. It's more of an obvious downer which is definitely my thing. BYE!**


	24. Clarity

**A/N - Hey guys, hope life is treating you well. So this chapter and the next were originally supposed to be one but I ended up splitting them. First off as one chapter it was way too long and secondly there was a bit of a mood/location shift that seemed like a suitable place for a break. Anyways, hope you enjoy.**

* * *

" _Keeper."_

The whisper awoke Mirwen in an instant.

"Dread Wolf. I anticipated you would return sooner or later," Mirwen stated looking up at Solas with twinkling eyes. "Bruised, abandoned, lost and desperate. It must feel strange to be the one left behind."

Solas struggled to find the words. "There is an unexpected clarity that comes with it but it feels empty nonetheless."

"It always does." She touched his arm reassuringly but it did nothing to quell his sorrow. "Fear of loss brings clarity, a fear she does not yet share." Her expression became blank, lost in thought. "Shadow on the wall; pain, broken; the hush before the storm and then resolution only to be taken." She blinked rapidly. "What would you ask of me?" she suddenly questioned.

Solas said nothing.

"Surely there must be a reason you have come?" she went on, gazing up expectantly.

He looked away from her feeling ashamed by his own weakness.

"I need to know… You have seen much; whether any of it is true is another matter entirely but I need to know…" He trailed off finding it difficult to abandon scepticism entirely.

"You need to know if I have seen the end you seek."

It hurt his pride to hear her say it. "If that is possible…"

"You seek to change the world but keep them unchanged. You seek to make the world worthy," Mirwen said her pace rapid. "You would make the world as light as she but can any world ever be truly worthy?"

"I did not come here to debate. Answer me or do not," Solas replied trying his best to hide his frustration.

Mirwen stopped her questioning and pondered. When he could take the waiting no longer she finally spoke.

"In a forest lies a home. A spire glints in the distance, a symbol of the change you thought impossible. Care free, she runs amongst the trees, shielded; never knowing the meaning of true danger. Her mother fears that if she is not careful danger will find her but you know she is strong; she was born to be."

Solas closed his eyes as breath left him.

"You both suffered so she would not have to," Mirwen finished.

He opened his eyes and looked down on the Keeper. Joy and sorrow wrestled inside him.

"Thank you," he said.

"But it is not enough?" she added questioningly. A ghost of a smile crept in to his expression. "You would find your own answers; it is your way. You only wished to know if such an endeavour was worth your time."

He sat down beside her.

"It seems you have interpreted me correctly once again, Keeper. Show me what you will. I am finally ready."

* * *

Over the past week Ellana had expected to be consumed by sadness but instead she just felt numb. She had managed to keep up with many of her duties despite her friends' insistence that she take a break. Ellana had not told them everything lest she reveal too much but she had explained it as best she could. Unsurprisingly they had all reacted with disbelief but Shivra was the only one who seemed directly opposing. She couldn't understand how Ellana could just walk away. Although Ellana still had a hard time focusing, keeping up her day to day activities did stop her from dwelling. Some tasks were more difficult to cope with than others. Worst by far was attending her check-up with Mirwen and Firanni as it entailed seeing Solas again. She had hoped he would avoid it but it seemed he too was managing to cope. It was their first reunion so when she saw him she prepared for the worst. To her surprise he said little to her beyond token comments. When he left he simply told her to stay well and she was left more confused than ever. Seeing Solas after this was easier. She made sure they were never alone, still unable to trust herself, but in the company of others they were able to interact surprisingly well as colleagues. Given that their interactions would likely only increase as the Inquisition gained steam she was glad they had found a way to coexist. She still did not know if she wanted him but she was certain she still wanted the cause. At least that would never change.

On the top floor of the ivory tower Ellana leaned against the stone war table. The assemblage of Solas's council had finally adjourned and she felt relieved. She had not anticipated she would find the topic so emotive and it had been hard to maintain an air of composure. She was glad it hand ended before her façade broke. With discussions over she moved between her colleagues, speaking with each in turn as they filed out.

"My, how you have grown! Congratulations again, my dear," the elderly Commander Getros commented as he met her.

Ellana took his hands appreciatively. "Thank you, Commander. You are too kind."

"You must start taking more rest, my dear. You are much too bound to your work!" he added, shooting a slight glare over her shoulder. Ellana wondered if it was directed at Solas.

"I would be so lucky! Unfortunately the work does not do itself, Commander, but I will keep your words in mind," she replied with a half-smile.

Getros tapped her on the shoulder and bid her farewell. Ellana had gotten to know all of Solas's advisers on a first name basis. She was particularly fond of old Getros although she did wonder why they kept him around. Turning to greet another she caught sight of Solas watching her with a warm smile. Her noticing did nothing to stop him. He kept watching her until only she remained.

"Ellana, we need to talk," he stated just as she was about to follow her colleagues out.

She turned back to him trying to hide her anxiety as much as she could.

"About what?" she asked carefully.

"The Inquisition."

She breathed an internal sigh of relief and allowed herself to come closer to him.

"What about them?" she asked, no longer feeling the need to avoid his gaze.

"From what you have said today it is clear to me that you remain in denial about our situation. We walk a known path; one that I fear will not end in the compromise you so wish for. It is difficult to accept, I know but I would not see you falter when hope becomes lost," he explained with a sigh.

"You think war is inevitable."

He nodded sadly and she bowed her head, mirroring his mood.

"I cannot give up just yet but I understand what you're saying. I will try to come to terms with what might happen as best I can," she concluded.

He looked down on her with a wry smile and she returned it. A quiet voice in the back of her mind willed her to leave. She shook it off.

"It's just hard, you know? I know the cost of our actions, I know I wanted this but it's different when you have to face it head on. Knowing you are sacrificing people you care for is one thing but having to face them on a battlefield is another thing entirely. I had hoped we could avoid it but… Maybe it is just something I have to do."

She had not intended to air her feelings to him and she didn't know why she had but she couldn't deny the feeling of need.

"Friends becoming enemies is never easy. Feelings become confused, muddied. You cannot hide from it. The prospect of a loss you will not see is far preferable," he mused carefully, propping himself against the table behind. "But why do you feel it is something you must do?"

Ellana couldn't help but smile. "Just as you said - I cannot hide from it. I will have to see the cost of our actions. So many people have told me I am wrong and after so much I can't help but wonder. Can I ever truly fathom what I am doing? Maybe war is what I need to understand, to know for certain. I'm just afraid that when the time comes I will not be strong enough to face them."

"You will be. No doubt you will fight against it every step of the way but once you set your mind to something you are unstoppable."

Ellana felt irrepressible warmth radiate through her as his confident gaze met hers. She suddenly became very aware of the fact that they were alone.

"What of Tevinter?" she asked, hoping he hadn't noticed her anxiety; desperate to change the subject.

"Preparations have begun but it will be slow; especially so given my unwarranted delays. You were right; I was being entirely selfish."

"Not entirely…" she couldn't help saying.

"Any amount is too much. I will just have to increase my efforts."

Ellana watched him with scepticism. "On Tevinter or on…"

"What do you think?" he interrupted, eyes fixed on hers.

She stared in to his eyes and her heart raced. She broke their eye contact as quickly as she could.

"So what will take so long? Entering Tevinter is a seemingly impossible task but surely not beyond our capabilities? Certainly not beyond yours," she asked, internally cursing herself for the last comment.

Solas raised a sceptical eyebrow and shifted against the table.

"That almost sounded like a compliment…" he remarked with a hint of amusement in his tone.

Ellana felt herself redden. She was starting to feel like a swooning teenager and she detested it.

"While I may not trust you, I do know exactly what you are capable of," she clarified weakly.

"Do you really?" he asked with a knowing smile.

Their eyes met and Ellana's heart started to pound again. The amused glint slowly evaporated from Solas's eyes. Before she knew what she was doing she was kissing him. Her hands wrapped around his neck and pressing her body against his she felt the warmth again, the safety. After so long, it was the most wonderful feeling. Eventually Solas laid a palm against her breastbone and forced her back. Centimetres from him she studied his features, desperately trying to comprehend what he was thinking.

"I think you should go," he eventually advised. Ellana looked on in wide-eyed disbelief. "A moment of rash desire is no way to make a decision. I am sorry; I should not have encouraged it."

"I want you," she replied, trying desperately to kiss him again, touch him; anything to bring back the feeling.

He held her back. "No you don't, at least not by your estimations. I would love nothing more than to throw you down on this table and…" He trailed off, lost in imagination for a moment but he recovered all too quickly to give in. "Your absence, while unpleasant, has given me time to earn clarity. Perhaps you should take the time to consider your alleged feelings as well."

"Alleged feelings?!" she shouted pulling away from their close proximity.

"Indeed. We are more similar than you think. If the roles were reversed…" He stopped abruptly. She looked on at him blankly. "Why did you kiss me, Ellana?" She made to speak but he interrupted. "And do not cite base sexual attraction; see deeper than that. What did you seek from me?"

Ellana didn't believe she had even thought about it; in her mind there was no reasoning. He watched her with an annoyingly knowing smile.

"Why do you have to make everything so damn complicated?" she replied angrily. "Maybe I _did_ just want to fuck you; sometimes it is just that simple!"

"If only it were," he remarked wistfully. Not thinking, he reached out and took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. She shirked away from him and his expression turned blank. "As much as I would like to, I will not spell it out for you. Think on it; take this time to consider." He started walking away from her.

"Where are you going? We're not done here!" Ellana shouted.

"For now, we are. I have work to do but my evenings remain glaringly free if you have more questions…"

Ellana turned and left before he could finish. She couldn't help but feel angry. It stung to know that even when she had been the one to leave he was still the one in control.

" _Smug bastard_ ," she thought feeling an unwelcome hint of endearment.

* * *

Ellana walked back to meet her friends still seething. She kept thinking she should have torn him a new one but that was all bluster. She was only angry because he seemed so sure whereas she still felt a mess. A selfish part of her had wanted him to remain lost without her but it was clear he was anything but that. When she finally sat down with her friends Shivra almost immediately launched in to another tirade about Solas. Ellana stayed out of it, entirely unwilling to talk about him yet again. Luckily Lis was there to fight her corner.

"I know it's none of my business but why would you do that to yourself? Yeah, he lied to you but so did you! Twice! Why would you give up now after all you've been through?" Shivra ranted.

"You make it sound like this is the first time he's done this when you know perfectly well that's bullshit! He lied to her a tonne before and to do it again… Fair enough it was a deal breaker," Lis argued in return.

"Yeah but it's not is it?! She still loves him; he still loves her! They're just avoiding one another and it's fucking stupid! Why deny something that you both know is always going to be there?! Especially when you have to fucking work together! She could avoid so much hassle if she just accepted what he was trying to do and moved on!" Shivra retorted.

Lis rolled her eyes. "Love does not give you the right to forget everyone else. Why should he get to put himself in danger to protect her? That doesn't make her happy. If she's dead then she's dead – no worries. If he's dead and she lives… Let me tell you I know what that is like and it's no way to live!"

"Oh piss off with your points!" Shivra shouted.

"You're just mad because you know I'm right!" Lis retorted in a sing-song voice.

They kept arguing but Ellana was too focused on deciphering Solas's words to care. She still couldn't understand what he had been getting at. The simplest explanation for why she kissed him _was_ desire and that was what she rested on. She had been used to a fairly prolific sex-life before their separation so it seemed natural that she would be having cravings. Besides, she couldn't deny that she did miss him.

" _What the fuck, Ellana, you miss him? But he lied to you! Do you miss that? No don't be stupid; you just miss the sex. But then why did it take you so long…why not jump his bones the second you were alone if that's what you wanted all along?"_ she thought.

When they had been talking the thought hadn't even entered her mind until later. Now that she truly thought about it she had hardly been plagued by desire in his absence. She cursed herself for assuming anything between them could ever be so shallow.

" _So let's be honest, it's definitely not just the sex you're missing. He's always been a wonderful person to talk to…no not wonderful, let's not give him that much credit…'insightful' is more accurate. Hardly surprising given how well he knows you. Is that what he was getting at? No, he'd never be so smug about such a simplistic answer. Why did you kiss him?"_

She thought back, trying to remember what had set her off. They had teased one another which had definitely contributed but she had felt something before then.

" _Did he do that thing when he gets uncomfortable where his throat quivers? Gods, that is delicious… Is there anything hotter than knowing you alone can make an otherwise unyielding man that flustered?"_ She smiled to herself but quickly her expression dropped. _"No, don't be an idiot; he was far from uncomfortable. He was playing you as easily as one of those card games he used to kick your ass at._ "

Ellana's mind drifted off in to a memory of herself half naked and shivering throwing cards at him as he won yet another hand; still fully clothed, his self-satisfied smile framed by the painted walls of his former home. Her thighs tightened together as she relived what happened next.

 _"For fucks sake, Ellana, focus! Are you seriously this pathetic?! Why did you damn well kiss him?! What set you off?!"_

She remembered his initial topic: the Inquisition. Thinking back on it she was ashamed to admit the conversation could have easily ended there but she kept it going.

" _Why? What did you want from him?"_

She remembered her voiced fears and the warmth that he had brought her. She smiled at the memory of the feeling.

"Are you quite alright? You seem even more distracted than usual?" Miris whispered.

Ellana looked up with a start. "What?" she asked.

Miris gestured for her to keep her voice down lest they interrupt their arguing friends. "You seem more distracted than usual," Miris repeated. "Did something bad happen at the meeting?"

"No. I mean, yes. I mean, sort of," Ellana uselessly whispered back.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Miris questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"I…I fucked up," Ellana started carefully. Thinking maybe discussing it with someone could be helpful she went on, "I kissed Solas."

"What?! You kissed him!" Miris exclaimed, definitely not in a whisper.

Their friends instantly stopped arguing. Miris covered her mouth with a hand and gave Ellana an apologetic look.

"You did what?!" Shivra exclaimed.

Ellana took her head in her hands as she reddened under the scrutiny of them all. She was feeling pathetic again and she still hated it.

"What the fuck, Ellana?!" Lis added looking genuinely annoyed.

"After the meeting he wanted to talk to me and we were alone… I don't know why I did it but I kissed him," Ellana tried to explain still hiding her face. "Smug bastard acted like he had been expecting it, that I was the one being ridiculous!"

"You _are_ the one being ridiculous," Shivra piped up, unable to stop herself.

Lis and Ellana simultaneously glared at her.

"She wasn't the one who lied! She wasn't the one endangering herself!" Lis added angrily.

"No but the only reason she is in this position is because this time she was the one needing protected," Shivra tried to explain. "If the roles had been reversed…"

Ellana stopped listening, suddenly overtaken by thought. Shivra's words had reminded her of something exceedingly similar Solas had said.

 _"If the roles were reversed… What if he was the one that was going to die? What if I was the only one that could save him? If it meant endangering myself, if he would never allow it would I behave as he has?"_

Ellana's intent concentration kept her from realising that her friend's had fallen silent. She also didn't notice the additional elf until he spoke.

"My lady, I have a letter…"

Ellana looked up; broken from realisation. She gazed blankly at the elf. He held out an envelope to her and she looked on it with a bemused expression.

"This letter came for you," the elf prompted.

"Oh!" Ellana exclaimed, finally understanding. "Thank you."

She took the letter from him and he left, gawking back at her with concern. She examined the envelope, her train of thought long forgotten. The handwriting on the outside told her immediately that it was from Dorian but that only begged more questions. She had sent her reply to his last letter only yesterday so there was no way he could have received it already. She rushed to tear it open both desperate and apprehensive to find out the contents. Shivra continued her argument with Lis but Ellana was much too worried to listen.

"It's a fucking waste of time, that's what it is," Shivra argued. "I mean what the fuck is she waiting for? Does she want him to promise he'll never lie to her again because that is just fucking stupid. Sometimes it's necessary to keep things from the people you care about. That doesn't mean you don't trust one another! If the shit hits she'll still go running to him like she always does!"

Just before Lis could reply Ellana interrupted them both.

"Oh shit!" she exclaimed getting suddenly to her feet.

The group exchanged confused looks. Ellana kept frantically scanning the letter.

"What is it?" Lis asked.

Ellana started pacing manically.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" she ranted. "I have to go. I have to tell Solas."

The group exchanged more confused looks.

"Tell Solas…?" Lis muttered in confusion. She got up to interrupt the pacing. "Ellana what the fuck is going on?!"

"They know!" she shouted. "They know! They fucking know!"

She ran off without further explanation. Her friends exchanged yet more confused glances.

"Told you," Shivra added smugly before they all ran after her.

* * *

"Where is he?!" Ellana exclaimed as she barged in to Varden's office. "He's not upstairs; I can't find him anywhere! Where is he?!"

As was becoming usual Varden barely reacted to the sudden, loud intrusion.

"I presume by 'he' you mean to refer to Fen'Harel?" he replied without looking up.

"Yes! Where is he?!"

"May I ask why…?"

Ellana cut him off. "I need to speak with him now!" She waved the letter before him but he regarded it with indifference. In frustration she opened it and read. "Caves to the south of the Imperial Highway, south-east of Weisshaupt. Do we have people there?!" She looked up at him desperately. Only a brief flicker of recognition crossed Varden's expression but that was all she needed. "They know! Tevinter know! I have to tell him!"

The colour drained instantly from Varden's face.

"He is at the ruins. Go quickly and I will follow on behind. We will handle this," he said trying to convince himself more than anyone.

Ellana ran from his office as fast as her legs would carry her.

* * *

Ellana had run the whole way but when she reached the ruins she came to an abrupt halt. Dhaveira lay growling nervously beside the doorway so Solas was definitely inside but even in her determined state, fear still kept her from entering. The dragon trilled happily at the sight of her.

"Solas?!" she called down the tunnel.

There was no answer. She kept trying but it quickly became clear that he couldn't hear her. She had hoped she would never have to go back in to the ruins. She closed her eyes and steeled herself as she stepped through the doorway. Dhaveira growled worriedly behind her. Further in she started to hear a voice in the distance. Fear rose in her chest as she anticipated the fateful whispers but she recognised, to her relief, it was just Solas. She kept going down the tunnel listening intently.

"And how do you intend to provide such proof? You have quite clearly underestimated me; that does not give me much hope for your future usefulness," she heard him say.

He fell silent as though listening to a reply she could not hear. He laughed.

"That is an offer with no weight. Such a thing is worthless without trust and I would be a fool to trust what I do not know."

Ellana kept up a steady pace. Bathed in the blue glow of the barrier Solas stood before it. His back was to her so he could not see her approach. He laughed again.

"Not desperate enough it seems…"

A rock shifted beneath her feet making a crunching sound.

"Ellana!" Solas exclaimed in surprise. His expression darkened. "You should not be here!"

He grabbed her by the arm and led her roughly out in to the open air. The dragon raised her head and rumbled anxiously as they emerged.

"What if you had collapsed again? You should not be so reckless!" he continued, their separation forgotten for a few blissful moments. "Do you feel unwell at all?"

Ellana hadn't realised she had been holding her breath and now she found herself gasping to catch up. "I called out to you but you didn't answer. I couldn't wait…" she explained between breaths.

"Is something wrong? What has happened?" he interrupted as his worry built with each second he looked in to her panicked eyes.

"It's Tevinter. Dorian…he…" She stopped to recover her breathing before going on. "Dorian sent me another letter." She handed him the letter and he started frantically reading. "They know, Solas, they know."

Behind them the Eluvian powered up but neither noticed.

"This cannot be…" he mourned.

In her peripheral vision Ellana saw her friends and Varden making their way through the valley. Luckily Dhaveira had enough sense not to greet them.

"Solas, I'm sorry," Ellana said weakly.

The air crackled menacingly around him. Ellana could tell he was trying to control it but knew he would never succeed. Glow overcame his eyes and a nearby rock formation unceremoniously exploded. The dragon let out a panicked shriek. Rocks flew in all directions but with little more than a casual gesture from him they bashed uselessly off an almost invisible barrier. Ellana's friends had stopped in their tracks but Varden came to his leader's side with no fear whatsoever.

"How quickly can you prepare a company of soldiers?" Solas asked evenly, his outburst having done wonders for his fury.

"Give me an hour at the most," Varden replied.

"Have them meet me in the Crossroads as soon as you can."

"You mean to beat the Imperium to them?" Varden asked sceptically.

"I can hope," Solas replied already moving towards the exit.

"And what if we are too late?" Varden questioned falling in to walk at his side.

"Then our people will not be the last to die."

Ellana caught up to them, her panic having noticeably abated with his presence.

"I'm coming with you," she stated firmly.

They both abruptly halted and stared at her. Varden appeared exceedingly doubting. Solas looked as if he desperately wanted to argue with her. Finally he gazed down mournfully at the swell of her stomach.

"If you think that is wise then I will not stop you," he replied.

He strode away without another word and Varden followed behind. As they passed her friends Solas nodded to Lis and she returned it.

* * *

 **A/N - Smug Bastard... Next one should be up tomorrow. BYE!**


	25. White and Red

Ellana had never set foot in Tevinter and doing so now was an infinitely strange experience. Her friends walked alongside her as they made their way through the forest. It was an indirect route but passing across the plains would have made them too visible, especially given their numbers. Immediately behind Ellana's coterie near one hundred elves followed. In front, Solas, flanked by a few others, led them. So far their discussions had kept his attention away from Ellana which had been a relief. She was having a hard enough time dealing with her friends.

"I can't believe he let you come; you're pregnant for fucks sake," Lis was saying.

"You didn't seem so against it back at the ruins," Ellana added with obvious irritation. "What was with that nod? Are you and him suddenly friends or something?"

Lis stopped in her tracks. "Certainly not! He is a monumental twat but that doesn't mean we don't share a mutual purpose."

"And what purpose is that exactly? Bothering me?"

A wry smile formed across Lis's mouth. "To keep you from getting yourself killed."

Ellana rolled her eyes and they resumed their march.

"So what do you do then? Meet up and discuss ways to look after poor defenceless me?" Ellana questioned.

"Of course we don't. Five minutes in and I'd probably end up strangling him."

Ellana laughed. "That would not be the wisest decision. I seriously doubt you would come off well in that scenario."

"I don't know… He'd probably just let me, he's pretty whipped after all," Lis added with scepticism.

"Whipped? By me?" Ellana let out a doubting laugh. "If that were true then we would still be together!"

Ahead of them Solas turned at the sound of her laughter. He smiled at her briefly before turning back. Lis was saying something at her side but Ellana was too fixated on the back of his head to hear. His followers had started to branch away, likely attending to whatever orders he had given them. Lis nudged her but a request from ahead interrupted.

"Ellana!" Solas called out, not stopping his stride.

Ellana's friends looked on her with bemusement but she ignored them, quickening her pace to fall in alongside him. He met her with a warm smile but she could see the worry hidden behind his eyes.

"Yes?" she asked with a hint of annoyance.

He stared at her for much too long.

"What would you ask of me oh great and powerful leader?" she prompted mockingly.

He raised an eyebrow. "Very funny. My intent was to prepare you. If it were my choice you would not be here but…"

"I make my own damn choices," she interrupted angrily. "I don't need you to prepare me, thank you very much. I've seen war and the terrible things that come with it."

"But you have not seen the Imperium…"

"Then who exactly were the Venatori? I seem to recall they mentioned the Imperium all the damn time and we certainly saw far too much of them," she scoffed sarcastically.

"You misunderstand me, vhe... Ellana," he replied. Ellana did nothing to hide her amusement at his slip-up. "I speak of those that may have harmed our people. You have seen war, true, and I do not doubt that you have seen atrocities but imagine what those may become when the defender is considered beneath you; little more than animals. Such views breed brutality, horrors you cannot even begin to imagine."

Ellana bowed her head.

"I hope above all else that we will not be too late but if we are, it will be brutal," he finished.

She looked up at him to study his features. He kept focused on the path ahead, avoiding her gaze. He appeared so calm but the glint of fear still danced beneath the façade. She certainly shared his worry but in spite of everything she also felt oddly composed. She could hear her friends murmuring in the background but she could only guess what was being said. He finally turned to look at her, clearly expecting a reply.

"I'm a big girl, Solas, I can handle myself," she replied, looking away from him. "What point are you trying to make here? And don't say you want to protect me because you are just terrible at that."

"But yet who do you come to when you are in need of reassurance?" he remarked with an annoyed sigh. "Your ability to delude yourself is truly remarkable and equally frustrating."

"Fuck you too! If you want frustrating try living with an untrustworthy, smug, liar like you!" Ellana exclaimed.

He didn't rise to her anger, keeping his tone infinitely measured. "If that is what you truly think then why do I seem to be the only one you confide in? Why am I the one you seek out when you need it most?"

Ellana stumbled over both her feet and her words. He took her arm and kept her going. He wanted to help her towards resolution but they didn't have the time to stop.

"Because you make me feel safe," she eventually murmured. It was a hard thing for her to admit but deep down she knew it had been staring her in the face this whole time. "When I feel at my weakest you're the only person who can bring me back; the only one I trust enough not to judge me…"

"And there is that word again – trust."

"I didn't mean… You still lied to me!" Ellana interrupted.

"And yet you still come to me to feel safe, to feel strong; does that sound like someone you do not trust? When we promised to be honest with one another did you truly think that meant we would _never_ keep anything hidden? What person…no, what relationship can ever maintain that? You knew perfectly well that I would do anything to keep you safe just like I know you would do the same. It is so unbearably simple, so glaringly obvious…"

Ellana stammered uselessly as she gazed at him but he turned away. With a frustrated sound he released her arm. Ellana followed his attention to the sight of two elves approaching.

"Solas, I…"

He shook his head as he left her behind. Her first instinct was to call him back but she stopped herself, knowing he had much greater concerns than her.

"What have you found?" he asked as he met the two.

Ellana couldn't hear what was being said but the moment she saw Solas's expression she knew it was bad. He spoke roughly to the two and sent them to join the others. As he returned he gestured to someone behind.

"Solas?" she said with worry.

He took her arm again to prompt her in to moving. He wouldn't look at her. She stopped walking and touched her free hand to his. He finally met her gaze.

"I fear we are too late," he answered at last.

* * *

The elven encampment was said to be situated within a cave network to the north but they never made it that far. They never even made it out of the forest. Ellana walked through the trees with soldiers at her back and Solas by her side until a permeating scent made her pause. Still with a firm grip on her arm Solas willed her in to movement again. Ellana looked questioningly at him but the look of utter disgust written on his face halted her enquiries. As they powered on the smell only worsened; similar to smoke but far more repugnant it made her grimace. The air became thick with it and crackling could soon be heard a short distance ahead of them. Passing through a crop of thick evergreens they came upon a more open area. One large tree sat in the centre and to the side smoke rose from an indistinguishable pile. Something white and red hung from one of the tree branches, swaying placidly in the breeze. Solas let out an excruciating sound, his grip on her arm falling instantly. His eyes were wide and nothing glinted within.

"Solas?" Ellana asked uselessly.

He left her side without an answer, walking towards the tree as though utterly lost. Focusing more clearly on what lay before her Ellana finally understood why. White and red, hanging from the tree was an elven woman; naked, battered and bloody. Ellana mirrored his actions, moving closer as despair overwhelmed her. Pale skin, black hair, and a disdainful smile flashed before her eyes; it was Liahra. Pained gasps sounded from around them as their people came upon the sight but neither was in any state to notice. Ellana turned her focus to the pile, unable to look at Liahra's utterly vacant body any longer. Distinguishing what it may have been amongst the burning embers was difficult but she had a terrible suspicion. She gaped in utter horror as her eyes rested on a scorched but still fully formed hand.

"No…" she despaired as she fell to her knees in front of her burning people.

* * *

With face still wet from inconsolable tears Ellana rose to her feet. Fury now overrode all else. For the entire time she had cried Solas had not moved. He stood expressionless, staring at Liahra's swinging corpse. She approached his side as one of the elves came forward from the despondent crowd.

"My Lord, our scouts have managed to capture two Tevinter soldiers," he stated with obvious apprehension.

Solas gave no indication that he had even heard him.

Ellana touched his shoulder. "Solas?"

He didn't react, still staring blankly. Seeing him so lost only increased her fury. She turned to the elf.

"Bring them forward," she ordered and with a gesture those behind did as she bid. "I presume you are one of those in charge?" The elf nodded. "Good…"

She trailed off as two humans were led forward. Restrained on either side by elves the men swore vilely. She took one final look at Solas who remained oblivious.

"Tell me where I can find those responsible for this depravity," she demanded evenly as the Imperials were brought before her.

The clearly more confident of the two piped up first, "If you think we would tell a rat like you…!"

Ellana lacked even a shred of patience. She lunged out with a gloved hand, fingers pressing in to his throat. He spluttered beneath her but she kept crushing, too consumed by rage to show any mercy. Blood seeped forth and pooled around her buried fingers. Not releasing the pressure she ripped free and blood spattered in an arch of red. As he slumped to the ground Ellana rounded on the survivor.

"Unless you want to meet a similar fate," she started, releasing what remained of the dead man's throat from her hand to land with a wet thud in front of her new victim. "Tell me where I can find those responsible."

"They are camped two miles north of here! They expected more of you might come!" the man cried desperately.

"Thank you. You have been a great help," Ellana replied as she came down to his level.

She placed a hand at the back of his neck and pulled him to her. Too shocked and afraid he didn't notice her unsheathing her blade.

"Thank you," she repeated weakly.

She plunged her dagger beneath the base of his skull, killing him instantly. Ellana released him and he slumped to the ground alongside his comrade. The elf came to her side as she rose to her feet.

"Have the troops surround the camp. We attack on my signal," she ordered.

She made her way back to Solas's side.

"Solas!" she shouted, unable to approach with any softness in her fury ridden state.

He remained unresponsive. Ellana let out an angry noise as she left to follow the troops. If he couldn't lead them then she would.

* * *

Ellana watched the encampment from her vantage point atop a slight hill. Solas had warned her it would be brutal but he had been wrong. She had seen brutality but this was something else, this was monstrous. Even in his absence she felt no nerves as she watched the unsuspecting soldiers. Her troops outnumbered those below so it was going to be a massacre but that is exactly what she craved. The image of Liahra's swinging corpse still plagued her mind, the thought of her telling wounds almost breaking her. She willed herself to believe that Liahra had died quickly, long before the atrocities could be committed. The alternative was just too terrible to bear.

"That's the last of the troops in position," a voice informed from beside her.

She was more than ready. Lis had tried to reason with her, convince her not to be a part of the battle. At first Ellana couldn't understand why she would even suggest such a thing; so consumed by anger the life growing in her belly was forgotten. Even with Lis's insistence she could barely acknowledge it.

"Send out the signal," Ellana ordered.

She didn't wait, charging out beyond the trees as the whistle sounded behind her. Arrows rained from the safety of the tree line, hitting the unprepared Imperials as a herald of what was to come. The troops joined her quickly but Ellana still made it first in to the fray. The initial shock and fear on the faces of their enemies was immensely satisfying. In a blind rage she ripped and tore at anyone who saw fit to engage her. She acted on instinct, dodging and striking with just as much skill as she normally displayed but there was no thought behind it. She barely noticed her friends keeping close watch on her as they too struck down droves. Lost in her fury she was beyond any form of true comprehension. Nothing mattered so long as she was spilling their blood.

But yet, a small, elusive part of her remained present and it was that part that heard the alarm call. She barely registered it at first but slowly the present part of her mind shouted louder than her fury. Only a handful of the Tevinter soldiers remained so it mattered little when she halted. As her friends circled around she turned towards the unwelcome ringing and saw the culprit. She closed the distance between them easily, mostly having to dodge past her own people rather than enemies. Still ringing the bell the man was oblivious to her and she struck him down with ease. With her last kill crashing down behind her she gazed in to the valley beyond and saw a shadow moving, the shadow of more soldiers. At no point had she ever considered that this could have been a trap. She thought back to a phrase Solas sometimes spouted but never seemed to actually live by – "Anger is the most blinding of all emotions."

As the soldiers advanced further she could see them as more than a mere shadow. Their numbers were not overwhelming but there would be loss. She looked around at her own people, a few still fighting, and she feared for them. As more of her already exhausted people observed the advancing troops she could sense their dread rising. The air around her seemed to grow heavy, swelling inexorably forward from the trees. She glanced back. Calm washed over her and fear evaporated as she saw Solas stride free from the trees. With him here it no longer mattered how many they faced; they were all already dead.

Expression still impassive Solas acknowledged no one as he passed; only stopping when he reached a point between the elves and their aggressors. The soldiers were close now, painfully near charging distance. Solas outstretched a hand towards them and from his palm an orb of brilliant blue light burst in to existence. As his eyes glowed tendrils snaked free of the orb to dance at the feet of the unsuspecting Imperial's. The sight could have been almost beautiful if not for its terrible intent. With each tendril the orb freed it became ever smaller. Seemingly satisfied its work was done Solas raised it up and crushed it beneath his closing fist.

Ellana couldn't react quickly enough. Blinding light dazed her as a monumental explosion tore their aggressors apart. She cowered in the wake, hot air whipping past her with such force that it almost knocked her off her feet. Still struggling to see anything she rubbed her eyes and judging from the moans around her everyone else had been caught just as off-guard. Between the spots of white light that still marred her vision she could see Solas, the only one who had remained still. He stood watching blankly as the smoke cleared. Ellana stumbled forward, desperate to reach him but in her state she couldn't. Eventually Solas turned back as though nothing had happened. Ellana's vision had recovered enough to see him clearly as he strode past her and back in to the forest. He barely even looked at her but she still glimpsed his agonisingly vacant eyes. The pain mounting in her chest made it difficult to breathe. She grabbed the nearest person.

"Ensure every last one of them is dead," she ordered coldly before running in to the forest after him.

* * *

Ellana found Solas exactly where she had left him. He no longer stood vacant; in fact he was only just visible, crouched down in a large hole in the ground. Ellana presumed he must have made it himself but it seemed foolish to ask about something so trivial. To her relief Liahra no longer hung from the tree; she lay wrapped in what appeared to be Solas's cloak. Even though she had held no love for the woman it heartened Ellana to see her dignity finally being preserved. No one, not even an enemy, deserved the degradation she had suffered. Ellana approached with suitable caution.

"Solas?" she tried weakly but he ignored her. She came slowly closer. "Solas, this was not your fault."

He stopped instantly. His back was to her so she couldn't see his expression. Ellana fidgeted, desperately trying to think of something else to say but before she could he climbed out of the hole and came to rest painfully close to her.

"When Areina died I said the same thing to you. Did you believe it?" he asked with absolutely no feeling.

Ellana looked up at him and he stared through her. Behind his eyes there was nothing, not even anger. A lump rose in her throat and she couldn't speak.

"No, you blamed yourself and I will do the same," he continued. An inexorable tear rolled down Ellana's cheek as he turned away. "I would prefer to be alone so you should leave."

"No, I won't leave you," she replied, her voice cracking with emotion.

Suddenly he rounded on her and the vacancy was gone. All that was left was unbridled rage. The air snapped around him as he came within inches of her.

"Go!" he yelled and she ran away in to the trees.

* * *

Ellana didn't make it far. She came to a stop before she reached the others fully expecting to break down. In all their time together she had never been afraid of Solas but right then she had been. Even so she did not blame him. In actuality the only person she was angry at was herself. He may have frightened her but that was no doubt his intention; he would never do anything to harm her and she knew it. She couldn't believe she had just walked away when he clearly needed her. She knew that, in her position, he would have stayed.

She headed back the way she had come still cursing herself. He would be angry, she had no doubt about that, but she was more than willing to take it. When she reached the tree once again the scene was much as she had left it. Liahra still lay beneath the tree, the hole remained open and the bodies still piled but he was entirely absent. Ellana looked around, listening intently for any sound that might tell her where he had gone but to no avail. Some of her brethren broke through the trees and came to an abrupt stop at the sight of her.

"Where is Fen'Harel?" she asked, the desperation in her tone evident.

They all looked upon her with bemusement.

One of them finally piped up, "My Lord said he had to return; requested we finish what he started…"

"Return? Home?" Ellana interrupted, her worry increasing exponentially.

"I believe so…"

Without thinking Ellana broke in to a run, a terrible feeling rising from within.

* * *

Ellana stumbled through Dhaveira's Eluvian at speed. She couldn't explain it but somehow she had known instantly where she needed to go. The first thing that hit her was the dragon's pained shrieks. She ran through in to the valley as fast as her legs would carry her. Before her Dhaveira thrashed and screamed at the doorway. The area around her was blackened in places. Passing the spire Ellana saw it lay in ruin. She didn't stop, not even to avoid the dragon's tirade. Seeing an opening she slid through and rushed on beyond the doorway. Fear consumed her but not for herself. The absolute darkness of the tunnel forced her pace to slow; the glow from the barrier now ominously absent. The only light that remained were two glowing eyes. From what little she could see he was on his knees, an arm barely supporting his own weight. Throwing herself down beside him she observed his exhaustion.

"Solas? Solas, please tell me you're alright?!" she begged desperately.

At the sight of her the glow evaporated from his eyes and his expression crumpled.

"No… Ellana, you must leave…"

His own pained screams cut him off. His eyes glowed and he clawed frenziedly at his head.

"Solas! What is happening?!" she shouted, pulling him to her.

The screams stopped and the glow evaporated once again.

"I…I saw you," he uttered before his consciousness left him entirely.

Ellana supported him to the ground. She still couldn't fathom what was happening and panic set in. She touched a hand to his chest and to her relief felt his heart beat beneath it. Out of the corner of her eye a flash of black made her turn from him. In spite of the absolute darkness a shadow, human-like in form moved against the wall.

"Stop! Please!" Ellana cried. "Leave him alone!"

Screams forced their way in to her mind. At first they were indistinguishable but she came to recognise them; first Solas's then her mother's then her friend's and finally her own. They roared louder and louder until it all went black.

* * *

Ellana stirred at the sound of something chiming. It sounded so distant, so beyond her but still she found it oddly comforting. She shifted in the bed still occupying that pleasant place between sleeping and awake where worries are forgotten. A slight breeze passed across her skin and she shivered lightly. Instinctively she grabbed for the bedcovers but found none.

"My child, you are awake!" a surprised voice exclaimed.

Ellana's eyelids fluttered open. The room around her came slowly in to focus: Solas's room. Opposite the bed Mirwen sat in one of the chairs gazing hopefully at her. Ellana propped herself up on one arm but as she did she pressed against something warm beside her. Glancing down she finally noticed Solas fast asleep beside her. His eyes were obviously closed but between his eyelids she was certain she could see a glow emanating. Watching his chest rise and fall she remembered all that had brought them to this point.

"What happened? We collapsed and I… How did we end up here?" she asked Mirwen. She touched a hand to Solas's cheek hopefully but deep down she already knew he wouldn't wake.

"You led us to him," Mirwen replied.

Ellana's brow furrowed. "That's not possible; I was unconscious."

"I presumed as much but even so you emerged from the forest, told me he needed help and where to find him. As soon as I left to get help you apparently collapsed again." Mirwen let out a wry smile. "I have never had to convince a dragon before but I must say it was certainly an experience."

"That's not… I don't remember," Ellana conceded. She looked down at Solas resting her palm above his heart. "Is he… Is he going to survive this?"

"The people of his time slumbered to heal themselves. I believe he will wake when he is ready," Mirwen replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

Ellana looked away despondently. Mirwen came over and took her hand.

"You will not lose him, not today."

Ellana met her gaze but the sadness did not leave her eyes.

"Stay with him for as long as you need to. I will remain outside if you need anything," Mirwen continued.

"Thank you," Ellana replied weakly.

As soon as the door clicked shut Ellana turned back to Solas.

"Please come back," she whispered before planting a light kiss on his lips.

She laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes. Above even the shouting voices of her own mind she heard his heartbeat. As calm washed over her the pulse was all that remained.

"Please don't leave me."

* * *

By the time Solas awoke it was the dead of night. It had been a struggle to even make it that far. The Fade had seemed so unfamiliar, like a labyrinth he could not escape. He had felt trapped and utterly powerless. It wasn't until he heard Ellana's voice from the beyond that he even understood who he was. After that the walls of the labyrinth easily tumbled down.

As he awoke his head pounded. He tried to rise but a weight on his chest kept him down. Glancing down he recognised the hair immediately. Breathing rhythmically Ellana slept with her head rested against him. He reached out a hand to touch her but stopped short.

"Ellana?" he prompted quietly but she didn't stir.

Carefully he lifted her head free of his chest and slipped out from underneath her. Even with the movement her breathing remained regular. He crouched at the bed side.

"Ellana?" he tried one last time.

A small snore was all the answer he received. He smiled as he gazed down on her sleeping form, too precious to wake. Cherishing the warmth of her skin, he ran a finger down her cheek before leaving quietly through the bedroom door.

* * *

Ellana held her breath as she passed through the Eluvian and on to the beach. When she had initially awoken to find the bed empty she had understandably panicked. Mirwen had directed her here as well as informing her that Solas had appeared as well as could be expected. It was an undeniable relief knowing that he had managed to recover. As Ellana made her way through the cliffs she heard the sound of Dhaveira's contented rumbling. The sun had not yet started its ascent so light was scarce but she could still make out the dragon's monumental ivory form lain in the valley. Hand extended and stroking her massive head, Solas sat beside her on a ruined pillar. He didn't look up as Ellana advanced, the sound of the dragons tail swishing with satisfaction against the ground drowning out her footsteps. Dhaveira, however, did hear her. She raised her head with tendrils outstretched and let out a happy trill. Solas followed her attention and rose to his feet, grinning widely.

"You took your time…" he started but the force with which Ellana embraced him cut him short.

"I thought I lost you!" she cried, her face buried in his chest.

Solas wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes at the much needed feeling of her beneath him. Ellana pulled away.

"Why didn't you wake me up?!" she questioned as she punched him angrily in the shoulder.

He ducked away with a laugh. "I did try!" He dropped the amusement and touched a hand to the side of her neck apologetically. "You were just so peaceful."

Ellana gazed in to his warm eyes and relished the pulse of emotion it brought to her. She wanted to ask him so many questions but feared it would ruin this precious moment.

"Whatever it was is gone," Solas said. Her eyes widened, impressed he had anticipated her thoughts so accurately. "I did not intend to release it; at least not before…" He shook his head as though trying to shake the dark thoughts out his mind. "When we came upon…what we saw…I could not see Liahra," his voice broke at her name, "all I saw was you…hanging there, defiled, and utterly gone. I knew it was not truly you but yet it was all I could see, all I could think about…"

"So you released a monster."

He let out a frustrated sigh. "It is not that simple! I could not remove the image of you from my mind; in that moment losing you felt inevitable. I was desperate, beyond anything I have ever felt before. I felt there was no choice." His face fell, too ashamed to look her in the eye. "I did not know what was real anymore but I had to believe it could help me."

Ellana grasped his chin and forced his eyes to her.

"What was it?" she asked firmly.

He looked away again. "I genuinely do not know." Ellana wore a decidedly sceptical expression. He broke away from her and started pacing. "It claimed to be a spirit of wisdom, bound outside the Fade for the knowledge it held but I doubted that even before it attacked me. It knew what I wanted; it knew about all I mean to restore; it knew everything. It told me there was a way to bring you and our child in to the new world and if I released it, it would share that knowledge with me. At no point before did I think it was anything beyond a ploy but in my desperation I dared to hope, more than willing to accept the consequences." He came to her and grabbed her by the shoulders. "It was entirely foolish of me, entirely selfish and I am sorry."

Ellana looked up in to his frantic eyes and let out a long sigh. She reached up around his neck.

"You're certain it's gone?" she asked.

His brow furrowed tightly. "Wholly certain. Are you not going to…?"

His words trailed off as her lips pressed against his. Once the kiss ended she took his hand in hers.

"I trust you," she murmured as she intently examined his hand. "It took almost losing you to make me admit it but I do trust you, in spite of everything. Complete honesty with one another was never a possible goal; we were always going to fail. You will lie to me just like I have with you but I know you would never do it with the intention of hurting me. You do it because you love me and I would do the same. You make me feel safe because I know that my safety will always be your first thought." She touched her palm to his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath. "I want to see what you become; I want to face the world together; I want to watch you be a father; I want you."

"You never lost me, vhenan." he replied before kissing her deeply. "But I need to know… When it comes to protecting you," he gazed down at her stomach, "and our child there is nothing I will not do. In this I can make no promises. If it comes down to a choice between lying to you and saving you, I will save you every time."

Ellana broke their eye contact and looked down in thought. "I think a part of me always understood…because I would make the exact same choice. I love you and I would gladly die in your place. It is selfish and I wouldn't want to leave you but I don't think I could live knowing I hadn't tried."

"So now you know, vhenan," he replied, savouring the final word.

He reached in to kiss her once more but with a palm pressed to his collarbone she held him back. Concern flashed across his expression.

"But this…this is over?" she asked, pointing towards the ruins. "I need you to promise me that much. I…I know you want to protect me but…please not like this."

"It is done, vhenan." His face fell. "I was a fool, an utter fool…"

She ran the back of her hand lightly down the curve of his jaw. " _My_ fool."

He raised her chin and she readily met his lips in a long, slow kiss. So close she could read everything written in his expression. He looked impatient, overly excited. It was unlike him but it was an adorable sight nonetheless.

"Before we proceed do you have any further stipulations you would care to add?" he asked, barely managing to contain himself.

Ellana looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. "Stipulations? About our relationship?!" She laughed. "Must you make everything so formal?"

"I am nothing if not thorough," he replied with equal amusement.

She thought for a moment. "We should try and take things slow." His look turned decidedly sceptical. "I mean it this time! We have never really done the whole courtship thing…well, I suppose we did in the Inquisition but after that it's always been so intense. Some time might do us good. At least until our little one comes along. "

His sceptical look turned warm. "A logical stipulation; one I will see that you honour. Although your idea of slow is considerably different from what I am used to; in my time courtship could span across decades…"

"Decades?! Fuck that!"

"Indeed. Either way it matters little…" Without warning he lifted her off the ground in one swift movement.

"What the…! What do you think you are doing?!" Ellana cried as he cradled her in his arms.

"We can take things slow tomorrow but tonight… Tonight I intend to do to you what you have been fantasising about for the past week."

Ellana reddened uncontrollably. To her annoyance the smug smile was back.

"Put me down!" she cried.

"You are opposed to the idea?" he questioned, eyebrow raised. "Considering your actions yesterday I find that hard to believe."

"You'd be surprised…" she couldn't help teasing.

He started lowering her back to the ground.

"Very well," he stated, smug smile still firmly in place. "If you would rather spend the night fantasising instead of experiencing…"

"No!" Ellana yelled much too desperately for her liking.

He straightened up, chuckling lightly but she wasn't about to let him win. She caressed her fingers down the sensitive skin of his neck and satisfyingly felt him swallow hard. Ensuring their eyes met she bit her lip suggestively.

"Just what I thought," he gulped. With her still in his arms he strode off in the direction of the Eluvian. "Although I must add, once you have had your fill we are going to talk like we used to and explore the Fade. It seems only fair I should get some proper enjoyment out of this deal."

Ellana laughed. "Because you certainly won't enjoy the first part, not someone of your superior intellect!" she teased sarcastically.

"Certainly not," he added, his positively giddy expression giving him away.

* * *

 **A/N - This whole topic of honesty and trust was really difficult for me. I had not expected it would be when I started but it really was! It's one of these things that everyone spouts - "Honesty is the most important part of any relationship" "You must have trust" and so on. But it is so much more complicated than that isn't it? Being honest in general is something people aspire to but yet you can be 'too honest'. When I was younger I definitely fell in to that category and actually lost friendships over it. It seems (to me at least) that honesty is some sort of weird sliding scale, bad at both ends and thus trust is equally as difficult to define. Trust, in my mind, is not the belief that someone will never lie to you because they will, in fact they should. The truth can hurt and regularly gives little benefit to either party so is not always the 'right' path (such as in the case of so called 'white lies'). In my messed up world view trust within a relationship seems more like the knowledge that the person will act in your best interests as much as they can. Obviously they will get it wrong sometimes as no person can know exactly what another wants or needs but you still trust that that is their primary objective. Does that make any sense at all? I know some people won't agree but at least you maybe get where I was coming from with all of this. It's a massively subjective topic so really everyone defines it for themselves...kind of makes this whole rant pointless. MOVING ON!**


	26. Villains

**A/N - Hey guys! First off I'm so sorry for how long it has been. I had some complete and utter shite happen plus for the next wee while I actually have a life so that was bound to slow things down but the shite also meant I couldn't get ahead of it. Anyways, sorry is what I mean. So for the next few weeks the pace will be slow (no one day updates, probs not even close :( sorry) but it is only for a few weeks and then I have some time off again so I should get back in to it. Probably obsessively.**

 **Unfortunately when I take ages I just end up thinking of bits I want to add so I'm pretty sure this is going to be a long one. Get comfy!**

* * *

It had been a long time since Cullen could remember sleeping well. The past couple of months had been especially trying but he had hoped their progress might have brought him some comfort. With Orlais finally considering them they had the hope of allies, the hope of salvation. Nonetheless he still couldn't sleep; not because his thoughts drifted to doubt or misfortune but because they drifted to victory and what that would inevitably mean.

Their progress recently had certainly been rapid enough to warrant thoughts of victory. Leliana had spared no effort to prove without a doubt that the elves were responsible for the murder of the late Madame de Fer and had some success. However it had not come without cost. They had been forced to admit the involvement of their former Inquisitor which had created seemingly insurmountable doubt in the Inquisition itself. It was only by the grace of Josephine's skill that the Orlesians were even willing to continue talks but in the end she more than earnt her title. While they did not believe the entirety of their narrative; the Dread Wolf angle being a particularly hard sell; they believed as much as was necessary. They saw the danger and that would hopefully be enough to earn the Inquisition the resources they needed. Recent reports had even suggested that the Imperium was actually coming around to the idea as well. From what little they could glean it sounded likely the Imperials had run afoul of Fen'Harel himself. While they did not yet regard such explanations with any real seriousness it was still hopeful that they viewed the elves as any sort of threat. Dorian's presence certainly helped. While many of his fellow Magisters still regarded him with scepticism, it was immeasurably valuable to have one of their countrymen echoing the Inquisition's beliefs. Their friendly Magister was also opening other doors, ones that had real potential to turn the tide. While it was debateable that anyone could ever match, let alone overcome Solas's knowledge, Cullen still saw the value in trying to beat him at his own game. He was certain there had to be something even Solas must have missed. While he undeniably held a peerless knowledge of certain topics there were still gaps, thousands of years' worth of them. If they could collaborate with others, consolidate their knowledge then perhaps they could find something they could use. Dorian had already found people willing to lend their expertise and Cullen couldn't help but think that if they were ever going to find anything to defeat the elves it would be in Tevinter. At the end of the day Cullen believed that Solas was the key to all of this and without defeating him, they would never succeed.

But even with all these thoughts plaguing his mind they were not what made him abandon the hope of sleep this night. He had run through everything, as he always did, making certain there was not some other angle they could be approaching from. His mind had wandered to the best case scenario – all allies and knowledge gathered and used to end the threat. Inescapably he saw Ellana; defeated, lost, and bloodied in the arms of the man she chose; and he felt the all too testing doubt. He knew then that he would never get to sleep. He wandered the Keep, thoughts of her still stalking his mind. He stopped when he reached the doorway to the painted room. The walls were white now, their past coated over but he could still see it in his mind's eye. He could often find her here on the nights she too had given up on sleep. He would hear Ellana crying but he always kept his distance, knowing she would only hurt more if she knew anyone had seen her. She must have wondered who covered her with a blanket on nights such as these but he was never brave enough to break his silence. Perhaps if he had she would not have felt she had to leave.

"Cullen?"

Josephine's voice interrupted his train of thought. He turned quickly from the doorway, hoping she wouldn't cotton on to what had him so absorbed. Unfortunately Josie was far from ignorant.

"Unable to sleep?" she continued. A sad look swept across her eyes before she could conceal it. "You are thinking about her, aren't you?"

Cullen fidgeted uncomfortably. "No I…" He gazed up at her and knew then that lying would be futile. "Yes, I was. As we get closer I cannot help but fear for her." He shook his head in anger at himself.

Josie placed a hand lightly on his back as she too peered through the doorway. "I know. Sometimes I run through conversations in my mind...situations where somehow I could convince her to relent but in the end I always give up. We can't change her." She gazed down at the ground in careful contemplation. "Yet I still hope there is something that can."

Cullen stared blankly as hopelessness reared its head. A gruff call of Josie's name from across the hall broke her from him.

"But that I suppose is just a dream," she uttered as she left his side.

* * *

Ellana and Solas stood side by side in the Fade. Ellana knew the memory they inhabited all too well although not from this perspective. She recognised the mirror but they stood on the other side, away from her memory, waiting on the moment he left her for the second time. Beside her she could feel Solas's apprehension, hands clasped tightly behind his back and stare blank. He clearly held no desire to watch any of this.

"Here I come," he remarked, a hint of sadness hidden in his otherwise relaxed voice.

In front of them the Eluvian shone as another Solas passed through. Just as quickly he stopped, expression undeniably pained. Wracked with indecision he turned back to the mirror and away again. He willed himself forward but did not make it much further. Clutching his sides desperately, his face crumpled. Ellana turned to the true Solas at her side. Avoiding the scene he gazed up at the sky. She reached out and took his hand as the memory of her love let out a despairing cry and came to his knees with fists balled into the floor. Tears cascaded down his face and contorted hands came up to meet them. Ellana couldn't bear it any longer. She touched her fingers to the true Solas's cheek, turning him to her.

"I've seen enough. Please make it stop," she begged.

He could hardly look at her but he did as he was bid and with a gesture brought the memory to an end. With another touch she forced him to look at her.

"I don't want to see anymore. I love you too much to watch you torture yourself," she continued before bringing her mouth to meet his.

His lips parted beneath hers but just as quickly as it had started she stopped the kiss, keeping his skin close enough to feel its warmth.

"Why would you do that to yourself?" she asked.

"I lived it, vhenan, watching it is trivial in comparison." He tried to kiss her again but she resisted.

"It's not trivial for me and I don't want to see anymore. I don't care that you watched my memories. Deep down I always knew that you were feeling just as distraught as I was and I know I made it seem otherwise but I... I don't need to see it. I don't want to see it." A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Then you shall not," he replied, brushing away the droplet with the tip of his thumb.

She rested her forehead against his chest and he sighed above her.

"Do you want to go home?" he asked. After some hesitation he felt her nod lightly against him. He kissed her one last time. "Wake up, vhenan."

Her eyes fluttered open to the unwelcome sight of dawn's light. She could feel the heat of his body pressed against her back, arms wrapped tightly around her and face buried in her neck. He groaned as he too awoke.

"It cannot be morning already," he whined.

She slid her hand in to his and he clutched it gratefully. She let out a long satisfied sigh as his lips brushed against her ear.

"Close your eyes, my love, and forget the light," she whispered.

* * *

"What occurred in Tevinter will no doubt result in delays; delays we cannot afford now that they know of us! With Liahra gone our goal of breaching the Imperium lies in ruin!" Commander Cyrrian declared with resentment evident in his tone and volume.

Cyrrian had always been a difficult person to work with but, as he had come under personal recommendation from Varden, Solas had kept him around. He was perfectly capable of following orders nevertheless he always seemed to enjoy doing so with defiance. It was irritating but he was undeniably skilled so it was worth tolerating.

"While no one can deny Liahra made a contribution to the cause that will be justly missed, she can and will be replaced. She was thorough to the end and thus all the ties she formed in Tevinter did not die with her. Even now we make progress," Varden argued coolly.

Ellana nodded her ascent from beside Solas. She had grown significantly larger in the past few weeks and even in loose clothing now looked indisputably pregnant. Much to her annoyance she could no longer fit in to her leathers even with his help. He had unsurprisingly foreseen this eventuality so he had already procured her a collection of dresses he hoped she would like. Her nose still crinkled when he presented them but she seemed to accept her fate far more quickly than she would have otherwise. She even looked vaguely happy with a few of them on closer inspection. On this day she looked gorgeous in a white floaty number trimmed with gold. Standing together they made for an almost regal pair.

"Even still, whoever takes on her role will be left with a near insurmountable task!" Cyrrian replied angrily.

Solas could feel Ellana shifting her weight nervously beside him. His colleagues still clearly intimidated her. He took her hand beneath the table and the shifting came to a gradual stop.

"I will not deny that it will be difficult but well within our capabilities," Solas added in an even tone. He could feel Ellana's tender gaze staring up at him. "If there is anyone who feels they are capable of the challenge I would hear it now."

A hush fell over the room.

Varden broke the silence, "I would put myself forward. I…"

"No," Solas interrupted. "While I know you would relish the opportunity to take the fight to Tevinter, you are much too valuable for me to lose. Without you this place would cease to function and as far as I am concerned you are irreplaceable in that respect."

Disappointment flashed across Varden's features but it was replaced just as quickly by a mixture of respect and vague amusement at his leader's compliments. Another silence followed.

"Cyrrian," Solas started. The commander met him with a glare. "Given your personal experience and knowledge with regards to the Imperium I would ask that you consider taking on this role."

"But what of the Inquisition?" Cyrrian retorted. "I have worked to combat them ever since you gave me the role of Commander; surely there is no one better placed to continue in that role?" There was a hint of jealousy in his tone, clearly hoping to receive similar accolades to those that Varden had.

Solas readied a reply but the sensation of Ellana releasing his hand beneath the table interrupted him. All too aware of his colleagues' expectant stares, he regarded her from the corner of his eye certain they would assume he was simply pondering. A tie had come loose on her dress and she struggled with it as subtly as she could manage. Solas stifled a laugh as the tips of her ears reddened.

"I already have someone in mind," he finally replied meeting Cyrrian's defiant stare. The commander looked at Ellana scathingly and made to argue but he cut him off. "Consider it and we shall resume this discussion at a later date. I am certain each of us has much to do so, for now, this meeting is adjourned."

Cyrrian threw one last glare at him and left. The others filed out shortly after. When only he, Ellana and Varden remained he took a hold of the piece of fabric she struggled with and tied it for her.

"You are just too adorable, vhenan," he purred in her ear.

She pushed him away playfully. Varden came over to them, eyebrow raised.

"Would you have me convince Cyrrian, my Lord?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

Solas casually brushed a lock of Ellana's hair behind her ear. "You see that is why you are so valuable; infallibly perceptive and infinitely skilled. Without you, old friend, this place would fall apart."

"You give me too much credit and I will take that as a yes. Consider it done," Varden replied. As he neared the door he nodded to Ellana. "My Lady."

With him gone Solas could give his entire attention to Ellana. Smiling down on her he touched both hands to her stomach and planted a light kiss atop her head.

"I don't know why you insisted I had to be here," she remarked unable to contain her own grin. "Managing Tevinter is well above my remit as your; how did he put it - 'piece of elven ass'. I really wish he had said that in front of you..."

Solas let out a chuckle. "Do not take Cyrrian's comments to heart, vhenan. The boy is young and much too hot-blooded. He underestimates you but such foolishness can be beneficial, for you at least."

"Boy?" Ellana remarked with a laugh. "You do realise he is probably older than me, right?"

"I do," he replied, playfully grabbing her behind as he laughed.

She shoved him with an annoyed groan but a hint of a smile remained on her lips.

"Excuse me! I can hardly be blamed for your predilection towards older men," he exclaimed.

She brought her lips within inches of his. " _Way_ older men."

He pushed her away and cursed as she giggled mercilessly. He rolled his eyes and leaned on the table and she came to perch next to him.

He tapped a hand to her thigh. "Actually, there was a reason for your attendance; something I wanted to ask…"

He stopped mid-sentence as Ellana let out a long uncontrollable yawn.

Stretching out her arms over her head she apologised, "Sorry, I must be tired. You were saying?"

He grinned and in a fluid movement brought her back to rest against his chest, wrapping his arms around her.

"It can wait. You should rest," he said, taking a moment to bask in her scent.

"No, we've got so much work to do, I couldn't…"

"Go, vhenan. I can manage," he interrupted. He took her hand and led her out in to the office. "Go." He nudged her towards the bedroom door but she still seemed reluctant. "Go, now," he finally ordered in as stern a voice as he could muster.

With a slight giggle she ran off in to the bedroom. Still smiling he sat down at his desk.

"Could you talk to me?" Ellana called out from the bedroom. Solas's brow wrinkled in confusion. "Hearing your voice always helps me sleep," she clarified to the silence.

"Well that is comforting! Wonderful to know I bore you so!"

Her apologetic face appeared in the doorway. "I didn't mean it like that! You know I find you fascinating…most of the time…" He glared at her and she retreated back in to the safety of their bedroom. "It's just soothing knowing you're there. I don't know; it's stupid I guess…" She trailed off and quiet followed.

"What would you have me say?" he asked, still decidedly sceptical.

"I don't know; anything! Oh! Tell me that story again, the one from the Fade."

His brow furrowed. "Which one? There are quite literally hundreds." He heard her slump down on the bed with a satisfied whine.

"The one with the noble and the servant girl; I love that one!" she called through sounding endearingly excited by the prospect.

He sighed. He had told her this story so many times he had lost count. He couldn't fathom what attracted her to it. It was essentially a love story which he supposed was relevant but even though the noble gives up everything to be with his love they both still die together in the end.

"Fine, if that is your wish then I am bound to oblige," he replied, feigning annoyance.

Still feeling slightly absurd he started the story and she let out another satisfied sound, no doubt curling up amongst the bedclothes. As he talked he kept himself busy with work. He had told the story so many times that he no longer needed to think about it so it was easy to maintain focus. Silence quickly descended from the bedroom but he kept going nonetheless. Even when a knock sounded he didn't stop. He opened the door and ushered old Getros in with a finger over his mouth to imply he should remain silent. With the old man safely inside Solas went over to the bedroom door to hazard a look. Finally stopping his story he could hear her rhythmic breathing and the occasional light snore. He closed the door and returned to the office, unable to wipe the smile from his face.

"It is like looking upon a completely different person," Getros remarked as he regarded Solas intently.

The Wolf's smile only widened. Standing before Getros the glint that always existed in his old eyes became more apparent but Solas saw more than most; he saw the violet shining out through the amber.

The old man continued, "When you struck down Felassan I thought you had become completely detached." The grin evaporated from Solas's face at the mention of his old friend. "But now it is heartening to see glimmers of the Rebel Wolf I once knew still remain. Even more remarkable is the knowledge that they were brought back to life by a mere mortal."

"There is nothing mere about her," Solas interjected.

Getros smiled. "But yet she is undeniably mortal." His look turned sour. "She will die when the old world returns."

Solas exhaled a pained breath and turned away.

The old man powered through, "There is still time, still a chance to reconsider Felassan's last wish…"

"And abandon our people?!" Solas cried in disbelief, forgetting his sleeping love. The old man recoiled at his volume, all too aware of the last time someone had broached this subject. "You may have been able to live in this world for decades but I can do no such thing! It is empty, unliving; certainly not worthy of any child of mine!"

"Her blood will only be half yours. Is death more worthy?"

Solas let out another long pained breath at the thought.

"Hope yet remains," he replied coldly.

"And when it no longer does? Will you see that there is worth in the world that birthed your child?"

Dismissing his own misgivings, Solas's lip curled in annoyance. "Your line of questioning implies your opinion; unwise given that it is counter to my own. I will not forsake our people and I was led to believe you shared that sentiment. If that is no longer the case then I suggest you tell me now, for your own sake."

"I would my own life to return the world to what it was but I cannot deny that both paths have their own merits. You know as well as I do that this world has value even with all its flaws; much like the world of our time. You become increasingly bound to this world and I do not envy you for the decision you must make. I would never consider it my place to sway you one way or another. All I can offer is counsel," Getros carefully clarified as he met the Dread Wolf's measured stare. "Whatever path you choose I will follow without question."

As satisfied as he felt he would ever be, Solas allowed the old man some respite from his scrutiny and returned to his work. "I am glad to hear it."

Getros made for the door but Solas's voice interrupted once again.

"Even so I will consider what you have said."

The old man turned back and nodded before leaving quietly. In his absence Solas tried to focus but he gave up after only a few minutes. He wandered in to the bedroom and gazed down at Ellana's sleeping form as he wrestled with plaguing doubt.

"Var lath vir suledin," he whispered, willing himself to believe it.

* * *

As if she were mirroring Ellana's mood, Dhaveira padded about the valley excitedly. Ellana tried to calm her but her own nervous energy only seemed to worsen the situation. A runner had come to her in camp bearing a letter and she knew immediately it was from Dorian. After much soul searching she had decided to broach the subject of her pregnancy in her most recent reply and the thought of how he would react was intensely nerve-wracking. She had come here wanting complete privacy to read; more than that she had wanted to ensure Solas was nowhere near. She hadn't exactly told him what she intended to do and even if she had she was certain he would not approve. In her mind it seemed logical to tell Dorian herself as he would likely find out regardless. On top of that she desperately wanted to discuss it with him, not that she would ever tell Solas that part.

Finally the dragon took flight and Ellana sat down on the smoothest of the nearby boulders. She gazed apprehensively at the envelope for a moment before tearing it open and unfolding the contents. She scanned the writing, taken aback briefly by the clear change in ink after the first line. He must have needed more than one sitting. After the first line the script also became messy, formality abandoned in favour of unrestrained thought.

 _"Ellana,_

 _You must be joking? If so, bravo! You most definitely had me fooled. Please tell me you are joking._

 _You are having a baby with Solas. You are having a baby and yet you intend to destroy the world. Or should I say he intends to destroy the world, including you and I presume your child as well. Does that even concern him I wonder? I cannot imagine it would, given his clear fondness for wanton destruction. Does it even concern you? You made it abundantly clear that it was anything but intentional but you surely must see the necessity for action. You would be bringing a child in to the world for the sake of a few years at worst and only to lose its mother at best. Do you not see the absurdity now?_

 _I am sorry, Ellana. My wish is not to sound harsh but I would hope that you are just as worried as I am. While I am beyond certain that you would be a marvellous mother, as your friend I cannot ignore the obvious barriers you face. If there was ever a time to reconsider your position it is now. If not for your baby then for what? I am certain he probably has some answer for this but you need to start thinking about yourself for once. Please._

 _Sincerely, Dorian."_

Ellana stared blankly at the page. She had not expected him to be congratulatory by any means but she had expected at least some positivity. Seeing it written out so plainly, especially by someone she trusted, was a harsh blow but he said nothing she hadn't thought of herself. Above her the dragon landed. She climbed down the cliffs and rested at Ellana's side with a comforting rumble. Ellana reached out and stroked her head.

"What are we going to do, da'len," she whispered as the dragon pressed a small portion of her massive head against the swell of Ellana's stomach. "What are we going to do…?"

She sat worrying for a while but as the satisfying warmth and infinite rumbling surrounded her she began to drift off. Thoughts still swam around her mind but they were quieter, almost soothing. Usually she thought of Arlathan, images of it borrowed from the memories Solas had shown her; but now her mind wandered to an older fantasy, one that existed before she knew of him as the Dread Wolf. She thought of a cottage in the forest and their family exploring the woods beyond. It lacked the grandeur of her usual daydream but it still brought a sense of promise.

"Vhenan?"

Ellana's eyes fluttered open at the sound of Solas's voice. She had been too lost in imagination to notice the dragon's quiet shrieks at his arrival but she heard them now. As Solas came to a knee in front of her she could see the mild concern in his gaze. Dhaveira rumbled contentedly as he ran a palm across her eagerly presented snout.

"I suppose it was foolish of me to presume you would be anywhere else or aware of the time for that matter," he remarked with a chuckle. He reached forward to hold her and plant a light kiss upon her lips. As he pulled away he ran the tip of his thumb along her cheekbone.

"Oh, I must have dozed off," Ellana replied with an apologetic look.

As part of the reformed approach to their relationship the two often arranged to meet one another during the day. What they did during these dates varied but today they had planned a simple walk in the forest. Even after so long it still surprised Ellana that they were managing to keep it up, especially considering his near constant commitments.

"Do not concern yourself, vhenan," he replied with a dismissive gesture. "We could retire if you would rather?"

"No, I think a walk might do me good." Using him as support she rose to her feet. "The forest is so pretty just now."

"I would not know. It is rare I have the chance to explore it; excluding our wanderings of course," he replied, getting up himself.

Ellana stood staring intently at the dragon as she petted her, considering if she should broach the difficult subject that had so consumed her a mere moment ago. Solas came to her side with an inquisitive look but she was too absorbed to notice. Just as he was about to question her mood she spoke up first.

"Solas, do you ever…" she trailed off, doubting herself. She took in a deep breath and turned to look him in the eye. "We are having a baby, you and me." He nodded slowly wearing a confused expression. "Does that ever make you want to give all this up? Do you ever just think that we should stop…for her, I mean?"

To her complete surprise he laughed. She couldn't help but scowl at him.

"All the time," he finally answered.

Ellana's gaze softened as relief washed over her.

"To restore the elves is a monumental task alone but to achieve it while also preserving you and our child is bordering on ludicrous. So much so that abandoning hope is a constant threat," he continued in an oddly matter-of-fact tone. "My greatest fear is that I will look upon our daughter for the first time and my resolve will shatter. You were already enough to make me consider abandoning my people; I fear what I will consider once she is born."

"And if we did just walk away?" Ellana asked quietly.

His eyes shot up to meet hers with a look of sudden intensity. "'Just walk away'…you make it sound so simple." He studied her intently for what felt like an age. "Tell me, how do you think that would be achieved?" Ellana made to answer but he barely paused. "If we were to simply 'walk away' do you think there would be no repercussions? I find it highly doubtful that we could live free of the humans we have wronged, let alone the people we would have to abandon. We could fight under an altered goal, try and change everything for the elves of this world but even if we succeeded it would still only be…"

"Half of the world," Ellana interrupted. "I know, Solas, I know. You want the best for your daughter; you want the world you knew, where the Fade and the real world were one. A world of magic, eternal life and so many more realities that she could have. This world cannot even come close to any of that, I know." She brought herself in close to his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. "You owe your people a chance and you owe her that chance as well. At least you have to try."

He ran a hand down through her hair but didn't meet her gaze, instead focusing intently at something on the ground. His brow formed in to a tight frown.

"Did you tell Dorian you are pregnant by any chance?" he asked, look finally meeting hers.

Her eyes widened but to her surprise he let out a light chuckle.

"I knew you would, vhenan. Certainly explains where your line of questioning originated from…"

"You're not mad?" she asked, still utterly perplexed.

"While it would have been nice to be consulted, I cannot say I am surprised. You still value Magister Pavus's point of view and this is an undeniably large burden you bear; it seems logical you would seek someone to ruminate with. Besides, it becomes increasingly likely that your state will become common knowledge before long. I see no reason to deny you support irrespective of my views on where you choose to find it."

"Well that is surprisingly reasonable," she replied placing an appreciative kiss on his neck.

"I would have you know I am always perfectly reasonable!" he whined with feigned hurt.

Stopping the whinging before it worsened Ellana occupied his lips with as much passion as she could muster without giggling.

"Most of the time…" she remarked against his kiss.

* * *

Wandering aimlessly amongst the trees with Ellana was a blissful experience. They had taken much longer than Solas had intended, even more so when her seemingly unquenchable desire of late had taken hold. When they did finally return to the camps he hardly even cared how late it was; in all honesty he was just glad no one had seen them. As they walked through the tents, hand in hand, he didn't even have to look to know that she was smiling up at him. It was the most wonderful feeling. Prying eyes followed them all the way to her team's encampment. The extent of their relationship was common knowledge by now, the evident bump beneath her clothing practically shouting it to the world, but the elves still seemed to regard them with a strange wonder. To Solas it seemed almost like reverence which only made him resent it more. He knew all too well what that sort of worship wrought. As Ellana's friends came in to sight the majority of them looked up in pleasant greeting; Lis, however, still met him with her typical glower but it had noticeably weakened of late. Even when they had their differences it was comforting to know they at least shared a mutual respect for one another. The one that interested him most was the new girl, Lori. He had yet to be formally introduced to her but he had heard all about her from Shivra. She had concerns and he was more than happy to listen to them but he wanted to reserve judgement until he could form his own opinion. While he trusted Shivra's desire to protect Ellana he also knew she was inherently rash and thus prone to quick, sometimes unwarranted judgements.

"Ahh, The Dread Wolf graces us with his eminent presence! Let us all bask in his glory!" Shivra joked as they neared.

Solas rolled his eyes but Ellana reacted with less restraint, kicking her friend in the shin.

"You're going to have to do better than that!" Shivra yelped as Ellana let go of Solas's hand to give chase. The dark-skinned elf dodged away with ease but shot him an imploring look. "No fair! I can't do anything because she's all stuffed up with your kid!"

He shot her a withering look but still took Ellana by the shoulders and led her away from the retreating elf. As he led her towards a seated Lis she struggled playfully against him.

"Couldn't you just let me rough her up a little?" she begged. "You know I'm just going to go right back to it the second you leave!"

He smirked. "Well then I cannot leave, can I?" he replied as he slumped in to an empty seat, bringing her down too with a surprised yelp. "Which is exactly what you intended."

Ellana beamed him a self-satisfied smile as she cradled herself in his lap. He knew her threats were nothing beyond teasing but Lori sat alongside Lis and he couldn't resist the urge to examine her for himself. The girl was quite clearly Dalish and appeared very unassuming but he was not about to let that colour his view. The first time he had met Ellana he had thought the same of her (amongst other things) and she had turned out to be the exact opposite. The girl was avoiding his gaze like her life depended on it, which was hardly irregular given his reputation, but it still made him feel uneasy. As he watched her he could feel Ellana's eyes on him until she looked up at Lori with sudden recognition.

"Oh! You two haven't officially met," she exclaimed. Solas rolled his eyes internally at her amusing ignorance. "Lori, this is Solas," she gazed up at him, "or Fen'Harel I suppose but…"

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Lori," he interrupted.

The girl shifted uncomfortably before finally meeting his gaze.

"We met before…not officially but when you congratulated our team we did meet," she added quietly.

She sounded nervous and he couldn't decide if it was deliberate or not. She was a surprisingly difficult person to read. Shivra sat down on the grass and shot him a knowing look.

"Yes, I remember. I am glad to see you have joined Ellana's team. It seems you would be an asset to her," he replied evenly. He could see Ellana's brow furrowing with suspicion so he avoided making eye contact with her. "May I ask, what made you decide to join her?"

He could practically feel the intensity of Ellana's glare at that but his entire focus remained on Lori. He thought he saw her eyebrow jut up for a fraction of a second.

"Well…my best friend had just died and my group lay in tatters. I needed my friends and a new purpose. Ellana gave me that and I couldn't be more grateful," Lori replied, her voice shaking slightly.

"I am glad to hear it," he eventually replied, still no more sure than he had been before.

Lis launched in to some explanation which gave Ellana the opportunity to pinch him angrily. He let out a pained gasp.

"I know what you're doing," she hissed, shooting a glare at Shivra.

"You are opposed to me questioning your team members?" he whispered, rubbing the point she had pinched.

"I am opposed to you interrogating my friends," she hissed back.

Shivra rolled her eyes solemnly at him behind Ellana's notice.

"So do you still want to go to the Dalish festivities tonight?" Lis loudly asked, interrupting them all. She gazed at Ellana expectantly. "Kind of hoping you've changed your mind."

Ellana let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't get why you are all so against the idea! It has been so long since we last got to celebrate and you guys love that sort of thing!"

"Yeah but this is different…" Lis interrupted. Ellana gave her a questioning look. "All the people here, they treat us differently now…"

"Bullshit! You're just being bores!" Ellana exclaimed angrily.

Watching her it was clear to Solas alone that something much deeper than their reluctance was bothering her.

"No it's true," Shivra added in a matter of fact tone. "They act like we're all high and mighty now and it seriously gets on my fucking nerves. I'm just an elf who likes nothing more than a drink and a good fight, not some high-toned bitch worthy of their worship."

Lis rolled her eyes. "I think what Shiv means is it makes us feel like we're under constant scrutiny and that's…well…no fun."

Solas shifted at the awkwardness their conversation brought; after all, the scrutiny they felt was no doubt due to their association with him.

"And why can't you just ignore them? Even if they are watching you, who cares what they think?!" Ellana replied.

Solas had not given much thought to how the reverence of the other elves would affect Ellana but it was clear that she was not taking it well. Thinking on it, he wondered why as the arguing women's voices faded beyond his notice. Unfortunately his distraction meant he didn't see Shivra's cool gaze falling on him.

"If we have to go then why doesn't he?" she piped up, breaking Solas from his thoughts.

He glared at her as he tried uselessly to formulate an answer. Ellana looked up at him expectantly which only made his mind stall more. The idea of spending a night surrounded by the Dalish was not at all appealing. He ran through all the possible excuses, unfortunately dismissing each in turn as Ellana's brow started to descend in to an annoyed glower.

"My Lord?"

Solas turned to the voice and met Varden's waiting form with utter relief. Ellana still scowled at him.

"Uh…work beckons…" he stuttered as he got up with her in tow. He lowered her down to her feet. "Sorry."

He shot her an apologetic look as he followed Varden away from the troop.

"I'll be waiting for that reply," she called out with a hint of a smile.

A short distance away Varden came to a stop.

"Your lack of expression belies the no doubt grave news you bear; I am certain you would not interrupt me otherwise," Solas enquired as he too came to a stop.

"Inquisition soldiers have been sighted within striking distance of the forward camp. While they do not appear to have the numbers, you no doubt understand what this means."

Solas's expression instantly dropped. "It can only mean one thing." Ellana still watched him as her friends kept up their chatter and with his, her face also grew concerned. Solas turned away from her hoping to hide the full extent of his worry. "Have all the individuals in the vicinity been recalled?"

"The process has been started. Those nearby are already gathering in the camp," Varden replied, matter of fact despite the situation.

"What's going on?" Ellana questioned as she paced towards them, Solas's attempts to hide clearly having failed.

Up close his expression must have been even more telling as concern overcame her eyes. Varden, rather unhelpfully, simply stared at him as well.

"Solas?" Ellana prompted more sternly.

"Our scouts have seen Inquisition soldiers near the forward camp," he finally replied.

"Fuck!" she shouted, letting out a groan.

"They lack numbers so we still have time but the fact they are openly watching us is no doubt an indication of their intent," Solas thought aloud.

"They wouldn't attack us outright that would be idiotic!" Ellana interrupted.

Solas certainly agreed but he could still not deny the danger. "To a degree but we cannot take that chance, not yet."

"Would you have me arrange troops to excise them?" Varden interjected eager to get back to the point.

Solas considered for a moment. "No, to do so would be an invitation. I will deal with this personally," he eventually replied, already moving.

Ellana grabbed his arm, "What?! Not alone you won't!"

For a moment Solas couldn't understand how she didn't already know his intention despite how undeniably unclear he had been.

"You are welcome to join me, vhenan, but I do not require any assistance." The worry in her eyes remained so he opted for further clarification. "I do not intend to engage them, simply remind them what they are dealing with."

* * *

Ellana stumbled behind barely able to keep up with Solas's rapid pace. Clearly deep in thought he didn't seem to notice her struggling at first. Eventually he slowed to walk alongside her with an apologetic look.

"So you're not going to harm them?" Ellana managed between breaths.

"Not for now. We need only give them pause. That should afford us enough time to formulate a plan for dealing with such an attack or preferably avoiding it altogether."

"So you intend to give them a taste of what they would be dealing with? Strike fear in to the hearts of men?" she replied with some amusement.

Solas gave her a sideways look. "Something like that. After all there is a reason they have not attacked us despite knowing of this place for some time."

"Because this is the Dread Wolf's front door," Ellana added with a sly smile. "And no one fucks with the Dread Wolf."

As she had hoped she finally pulled a chuckle from him. Unfortunately the two reached the camp quickly and his expression turned serious again all too quickly. Varden had not followed them out but they were immediately met by two equally stern looking elves.

"All nearby agents are within the camp as you commanded," one of the elves stated.

Solas nodded his approval. "Good. Where were the soldiers sighted?"

"North east, at the first point of high ground."

"A defensible position; I would expect no less," Solas replied with a tinge of admiration. "Ensure our people remain within the confines of the camp until told otherwise and under no circumstances is anyone to engage without express orders."

The elves nodded and a seemingly satisfied Solas took Ellana's hand. With some hesitation she allowed him to lead her through the gathered crowd. Although she understood his intent she still felt apprehensive; any wrong move now could change their course immeasurably.

"It is not just fear for our enemies. As our path becomes increasingly arduous the people need reassurance; they need to believe that we can protect them even if we know in the end we cannot," Solas said quietly enough to avoid notice.

Ellana looked on at him sadly as the eyes of all those around followed their path.

"We need their faith, although I take no joy in it," he continued. "At least with their faith comes a sense of security which I fear the elves have not felt in an age. It is the very least we can offer in return."

He stopped her at the edge of the crowd and with all eyes upon them he turned to her.

"Wait here, any closer could be dangerous," he said as he released her hand. A warm smile took over his features. "Have faith."

With that he left her standing alone in the crowd. Burning eyes upon her she could feel the surrounding uncertainty and excitement; everyone eager to see what the great Fen'Harel would do. Ellana didn't share their eagerness. Doubts had started to plague her mind again and for once she just wanted it all to end. Still in the open but a distance away from the crowd Solas broke his stride. He turned back to them and fixed his gaze on Ellana. The air seemed to grow heavy and for her, everything slowed and became quiet. She felt the gentle breeze swell, thick and fast as he closed his eyes; his expression flitting between calm and anger. The air started to crackle as it billowed around them, forcing its way through the crowd and to him. Finally he opened his eyes, overcome by their blazing glow and still focused on her. Thick tendrils of light erupted out of nothing to flurry around him. As they picked up speed some snapped violently against the resisting air until even it relented, billowing on the same path. Ellana gasped in amazement at the sight. Even having seen far greater feats at his hands she would never tire of his talents. At random points the air snapped with visible light as the raw energy built to a head. Around her the elves recoiled in fright with each crackle but she, too transfixed by his gaze, barely even noticed. A nonchalantly outstretched arm sent the swirling vortex out in a plume through the trees to resume its circle at a greater distance. Despite the increased area and distance from its source the energy certainly did not lack force. Although Ellana couldn't see its work directly she could hear it. The ripping of earth and the crashing of trees sounded through the forest as the energy tore down everything in its path. It wasn't until the thundering sounds ceased and the glow left his eyes that she moved. He outstretched a hand to her once again.

"Come, vhenan," he ordered between breaths.

She took his hand gladly, still too awestruck to be offended by his commanding tone. Looking up at him as he led her through what remained of the forest she saw through the haze of her wonderment how tired he was. However, before she could comment her eyes fell upon the result of his toil. Beyond the remaining trees an arch of open ground had been torn in to the landscape. In places shallow fissures marked the earth and immense trees lay strewn, ripped from the ground as though they were nothing. From what she could see now and the path she had seen his magic take she presumed these changes must extend around the entire camp; a circle of open ground on all sides.

"Now no matter where they come from they must first make themselves visible," Solas remarked, still breathing heavily.

Ellana looked up at him with admiration but his attention was focused out towards the hills. She followed his gaze and saw movement in the trees beyond.

"Not only that, they will remember this," she uttered with satisfaction. "Whenever they do decide to move on us they will dread what you could do to them."

A weak smile formed across his lips as he watched the hills beyond. Ellana had to fight hard against the immense urge to kiss him. He gazed down on her.

"Ellana, I want you to take Cyrrian's place," he finally uttered.

Completely taken aback, Ellana's eyes widened as she stuttered uselessly in response.

"Whatever may come, there is no one better suited to combat the Inquisition and in this, I want you with me. I meant to ask you sooner but there never seemed to be an opportune moment," Solas continued.

It still took her a moment to process what he was asking but eventually she managed to say something, "You want me to be a Commander? But what about my team?! Is this just some ploy to keep me from the field?! If so then...!"

"No, vhenan. Yet again you sell yourself short. Although I am certain you will not believe me, it was not I who suggested you for this role. Either way, the rest of the Council has already voted in favour of you so all that remains is your decision," he interrupted. Ellana made to speak but yet again he cut her off. "Consider it. If you have any genuine questions I would gladly answer them and yes, before you ask again, you can continue to go out into the field if you accept the position; I would not deny you that."

Ellana stared down at the ground trying desperately to formulate some reason that would prevent her from having to take on this responsibility. Solas took her hands.

"You are doubting yourself when you should not. Even if you were to turn it down, you and I both know that you will take charge of our dealings with the Inquisition, you will insist upon it. Why not make it official?"

A wry smile formed across Ellana's lips.

"You see? You know you will, regardless of what title you hold. I know you better than you think," he continued, looking smug.

Ellana nudged him lightly. "Fine, I'll think about it," she finally replied with a sigh. "But I still can't believe I'm the best you've got. For a guy who can make a tornado out of nothing your standards are pretty low."

He pulled her off in to the woods with a laugh. "If there is one thing I have learnt from you, vhenan, it is that magic is definitely not everything."

* * *

Last night Solas had been entirely unforthcoming. Naturally Ellana had been questioning of his plans for the Inquisition and to give him his due he had managed to keep the discussion civil. He insisted she leave their worries until the morning and enjoy the night's festivities but it was easier said than done. She had succeeded in a token appearance to the Dalish celebrations but all the while her mind had drifted. Seeing her friends so uncomfortable hadn't exactly helped either. She wouldn't admit it openly but over time she had become used to the veneration of the other elves. She had never considered her friends would be forced to get used to it by mere association. It was yet another reminder that everything she touched seemed to end up getting hurt in some way. Solas had looked concerned when she reappeared back at the tower but knew better than to probe. He always seemed to catch on remarkably quickly to what was bothering her, especially when it so directly involved him.

Sleep had been difficult. Scenarios, past and potential future, swirled around Ellana's brain all night long to the point that she couldn't tell if she was dreaming or not. She must have managed to drift off at some point as she awoke to the sudden sight of light bathing the room and Solas wrapped around her. For a peaceful moment she lay there, troubles forgotten in a sleepy haze. But that peace could never last and the thoughts quickly returned. Unable to stand it any longer she opted to take a walk. A meeting of the advisors had been planned for the morning; one Solas insisted she attend, so she needed a clear head. She had thought at length about the proposition he had made. He had been right about her, as he always was but she still wished she could play ignorant. She was pretty sure she was going to accept but she couldn't help questioning his motives. She was certain her views on the situation would not match the others and by giving her official control he was just making it harder for himself to bend their path to his will. A part of her yearned to simply agree with them, view her former friends as just any other human but she wasn't sure she could live with that. Thinking on the hypocrisy of her own wishes over and over made her feel more pathetic than she thought possible.

By the time she returned to the tower she feared she was already late and the sound of voices beyond the office door only cemented that fear. Behind her she closed the door quietly and approached the war room with caution. She hoped to catch what was being said and with that, know what approach she would need to take.

"…and now they are upon us. We cannot afford to wait any longer," she heard a voice saying.

A pause followed, likely as they all gazed expectantly at their leader. Ellana waited with bated breath dreading what he would say. Unfortunately another voice, what sounded like Varden's, interjected.

"But what action do you propose we take instead? The deaths are significant, true but engaging their troops as they do ours would be fruitless. We would suffer even more losses; add to that those that would have to be reassigned to locate their soldiers. We have more pressing concerns."

"What are you suggesting?! We just accept the losses and move on?!" shouted the first voice that Ellana finally recognised as Cyrrian.

"No," Ellana let out a small sigh of relief at the sound of Solas's firm voice. "We have reached a point where the fatalities cannot be tolerated. They are at our doorstep and with time they will be upon us. Nothing can proceed until we are secure."

Reading between the lines Ellana knew exactly what he meant. If they were going to take on Tevinter they would need people, people the Inquisition now threatened. Strategically there was no way they could keep going and risk losing everyone in an Inquisition attack. The thought disgusted her as she wondered if he cared about any of them beyond being a number and she questioned if she did too.

"But Varden is right in one respect; to engage them as they do would be pointless. Something bigger, temporarily definitive would be preferable," Solas continued. "If we could only…"

His words were interrupted by Ellana entering the room. She felt angry bordering on furious, first at the situation, then at Solas but most at herself. It took a great deal of effort not to start shouting immediately. Everyone turned to her with surprise but only Solas's eyes darkened at the sight of her expression.

"And what, pray tell, does the former Inquisitor propose?" Cyrrian asked with an amused smirk.

She willed herself not to punch him. Over the past few weeks she had found her emotions increasingly difficult to control at the best of times but now it was a real struggle. Refusing to look at him she made her way over to Solas's side.

"I apologise for my lateness, please continue," she simply remarked, utterly ignoring Cyrrian and earning a glare.

To her relief Getros chimed in before the angry elf could respond, "As you wish, my Lady." Cyrrian made to speak but Getros had already turned to Solas. "Surely a full-scale battle would be suicide? Even with your skills we would be significantly out-numbered; defeat would surely be certain?"

"It would not be the first time such odds have been beaten. With strategy, numbers can be overcome," Solas remarked with a wry smile. He looked down on Ellana and something flashed through his eyes before he nodded to himself. "Besides, we do have a dragon."

Wide-eyed looks swept the room as Ellana struggled to process what she had just heard.

"What?! No!" she eventually shouted her focus now entirely on Solas. "If you think I'm going to let you use her for that then you can fuck right off!"

An uncomfortable hush fell across the room.

"If we do not then it is your people that will die, vhenan," Solas replied evenly although anger still flashed across his eyes.

" _My_ people?! Either way it is my people that are going to die! Either way I can't win! You want war but what will that achieve?! More death! Well I want no part in it! You might be willing to be the villain but I won't do it!"

With that she stormed from the room.

"Ellana, wait," Solas tried as he followed her out but to no avail.

* * *

Ellana slammed the office door behind her. Solas came to rest just before and Varden joined him.

"You are not going after her?" he questioned.

Solas let out a wry smile, "In a moment; better I give her time for rational thought to return."

"She wishes for us to do nothing?" Varden asked.

"She had hoped it would never come to this, a foolish hope but meaningful nonetheless," Solas replied, sighing gloomily. "I imagine she will at least want to speak with them if at all possible."

"But what would speaking with them achieve? They are understandably set on their course; to move now would mean accepting their fate which is beyond the nature of any living being. Allowing such a meeting would be pointless and a logistical nightmare."

"Quite, although I see worth in trying. It may be pointless but even still, such a meeting would give us the perfect opportunity to set the stage for a definitive victory," Solas mused. "Although it may mean offering them more of an advantage..."

"Ahh! A temporary ceasefire to prepare for a planned battle perhaps? That would give them time to bolster their numbers but also afford you time to plan, a dangerous thing that they will underestimate."

Solas couldn't help but smile. "Your ability to read me is improving I see," he remarked as he finally made for the door. "Hopefully there will be no need but I have little faith the humans will relent. As you said, it is not in their nature to accept death without a fight."

* * *

Ellana's pace slowed as she left the tower. Tears were threatening to stream and she found her weakness immensely frustrating. The rational part of her had been ready for this day but even still the emotions were overwhelming; nowadays they always seemed to be. She turned back to the sound of footsteps finally following behind. She had been wondering what was taking him so long.

"Go away! You're only here because you need me to use Dhaveira!" she shouted at Solas's approaching form.

When he reached her he did look concerned at least.

"I am sorry, vhenan," he said, reaching out a hand to pull her in. She shoved weakly against his chest in an attempt to repel him but he persisted. "I know you still held out hope, no matter how small. I am sorry it has come to this."

Unable to hold it in any longer, Ellana broke down in to tears and Solas wrapped his arms around her.

"You said yourself that we would have to face them eventually but I meant what I said before, you are strong enough, vhenan," Solas continued.

"I can't! It's too much!" she sobbed. Hearing herself, she couldn't help but think she sounded like a spoiled child. She pulled away from him and let out a long laboured breath. "I have done terrible things, things I didn't think I was capable of. Vivienne…I still think of her and what I…" She broke off to hold back more tears before continuing, "I thought she deserved it but I was angry and that's all I could see. I can't help but think if we do this… What will that make us?"

Solas said nothing for much too long, studying her features.

"There is something I must show you," he finally replied with a mournful look.

Ellana gazed at him in confusion as he took a hold of her arm. Dread built in her chest as she let herself be led towards the tents.

"Please know that keeping anything from you is not a choice I take lightly. We cannot know exactly but it is clear the birth of our child draws near; stressing you without cause was not a risk I was willing to take," Solas explained as they walked.

Ellana glared at him but kept her stride.

"But you'll take it now?" she scoffed angrily.

"I am sorry, vhenan, but you must understand that there was no benefit to involving you in this. All you would have gained was upset. Unfortunately now we are in a position where that cannot be avoided."

"And where you need me," she interjected making him finally return her sour look.

"Do not diminish my feelings for you," he sternly replied. "If I could have kept this from you entirely then I would have, regardless of what that may have personally cost me, but I would be a fool to think you would not discover our situation."

They were quickly approaching a group of tents Ellana didn't recognise. Judging by their condition they must have been fairly new additions.

"So there's more? It's worse than I think it is?" she questioned.

Although Solas didn't reply the look on his face told her she was right. They came to the nearest tent where a single elf stood outside. Wide-eyed at the sight of Solas the elf stuttered uselessly in greeting.

"See to it that all the attendants depart for a time. We require a moment alone," Solas ordered abruptly.

"As you wish!" the elf replied, looking exceedingly flustered as he jogged off in to the tent.

Ellana looked up at Solas worriedly as people filed out, "What is inside, Solas?"

"I am certain you already know," he replied, not returning her gaze.

The last person filed out and she let out a long, steadying breath. He took her hand and led her through. The tent was sparse, little more than four fabric walls. About the floor were make-shift beds, not many but enough, and atop each lay what at first glance appeared to be sleeping elves. Each one was pale, vacant and Ellana knew that it had been just as she feared – these elves would never wake. Her legs gave out beneath her but Solas's steadying hand kept her from falling. He lowered her to her knees and came with her.

"I am sorry, vhenan," he said, holding her to him. "I am sorry but these are not the only ones. There are other tents just like this one and even they only contain the dead we have found. The Inquisition has taken much."

Tears streamed uncontrollably from Ellana's eyes.

"What do you want from me?! Hurting them doesn't make this right," she sobbed.

He held her closer. She sobbed in to Solas's shoulder until she could take it no longer. She knew she needed to be strong and crying wouldn't help anyone. Her breath rattled with the effort.

"I did not bring you here to upset you but you had to see the truth," he said. "What you do with it is your decision…"

"I don't have a choice, do I?! No matter what I do people are going to die!" Ellana yelled. Solas made to speak but she interrupted, the tears finally under control, "I know it's the way of war, trust me I lived it, but now we're the ones trying to take everything away! We're the villains!"

Solas roughly raised her chin so she was looking right at him.

"And what were we with the Inquisition? Heroes?" he questioned.

Ellana gazed at him with utter confusion.

"In the eyes of many we were but to the Venatori we were fiends, crushing their dream for a better world at every turn. We killed their people and we did not mourn them because we believed we knew what was right," he continued. "You see, vhenan, hero or villain – it is all a matter of perspective. In the end it does not matter what side you are on; both can do monstrous things to achieve what they believe is right."

Stunned in to silence Ellana looked around at her fallen comrades.

"Think on what you believe is right and if you are willing to give what it takes to achieve it," he continued, watching her intently. He rose to his feet and helped her up. "It is my fault you are here and I wish you had never had to take this journey with me." He looked down on her mournfully. "Know that I love you, no matter what, nor do I expect anything from you."

Ellana gazed at his downturned features and nodded weakly. She turned back to the bodies as he left and stared for what felt like an age.

* * *

It was late but Ellana had needed the time to collect her thoughts. After leaving the tent she had wandered the woods for a time running through scenarios in her mind. She had finally come to a decision.

Unsurprisingly Solas was still awake when she reached his office. He wore little expression when he looked up at her from his desk but Ellana could tell he was apprehensive; she had gotten quite adept at seeing beneath the façade.

"You were right but you were also wrong," she said once she had closed the door.

Solas's brow knitted questioningly.

"Heroes and villains – the one distinction is proper cause," Ellana explained but it appeared to do nothing to abate his confusion. She sighed, frustrated by her poor wording and fixed her gaze to the floor. "Doing wrong in service to a cause is one thing but when it is without cause? That's a villain – hurting for the sake of it. Yes they may have an overarching ideal but they go further. That's the difference. There are two sides to every war but that doesn't make either side that type of wrong."

She glanced up at him. He had risen as she spoke and came to perch on the edge of the desk closest to her.

"So then the question is – by your estimations do we have proper cause?" he asked giving nothing away.

Ellana looked away again as she felt the threat of tears build inside her.

"I no longer feel anger nor do I wish for vengeance, all I want is to protect the elven people," she finally answered. She gazed up at him with fire in her eyes. "And if that means fighting then I will fight with everything I have."

Sensing her woe he came forward to take a hold of her hands.

"I am sorry, vhenan, but it was inevitable," he started.

"I know; I always knew." Her voice shook with each word. "But I need to hear it from them. They deserve one final chance." She looked up at him expectantly but he said nothing. "I want to meet with them, try and convince them there is no need for more death. We can live in peace, at least until the end comes."

"I expected no less," he replied quietly as a warm glint formed in his eyes.

"You would allow me to?" she asked disbelievingly.

For the briefest of moments he looked away thoughtfully. Worry rose within her. Seeming to rest on a conclusion he met her gaze once more.

"I would but first I must be honest," he started only worsening her worry. He broke her gaze. "There is no part of me that believes such an attempt would succeed. They fight for the same reasons we do and are just as resolved. I hope for your sake I am wrong…"

"Neither do I," Ellana interrupted earning a wide-eyed look from him. "But I have to at least try."

His smile returned. "I know, vhenan. Yes, you have my blessing, more than that, my support. Even if we are both right in our predictions such a meeting could still be an opportunity to control the fate of our people."

Ellana turned away at the thought. With a hand he brought her back to him, a finger tracing her cheek despite her reluctance to look at him.

"Then with your support I would accept the role of Commander and with that, begin to engage the Inquisition," she remarked.

"I am glad to hear it. There is no one better placed for the role," he added, sounding pleased beneath the seriousness. He raised her chin and met her with a warm smile. "But let us begin fresh tomorrow. The last few days have been trying and I am sure you would benefit from a night of distraction."

Ellana raised a palm to touch his cheek as she leaned in to him.

"Gods, yes," she sighed before kissing him. "Bed and then a memory perhaps?"

He grinned at the prospect and took her hand to lead her through. "Where would you like to go tonight? Arlathan again?"

She smiled, mood finally lifting. "That would be lovely," she remarked as he closed the door behind them.

* * *

Even with Solas's efforts Ellana had still awoken in the small hours, wracked with doubts. She wanted to seek solitude as soon as possible but as day broke duty called. Solas insisted they must present her plans to the Council before she take any action. Luckily for her he coached her thoroughly and the Commanders met her suggestions with little resistance other than questioning. Cyrrian spent the whole time scowling but she had expected no less. In general, all left satisfied that they were walking the right path and Ellana finally earned her solitude.

Ellana made for the Eluvian as quickly as she could, all she would need for letter writing in hand. She intended to contact both the Inquisition itself and Dorian. After greeting Dhaveira she started to write, discarding just as quickly until hours had passed. She barely looked up when she heard the sound of someone approaching, certain it was likely Solas. Dhaveira bounded down the cliffside stopping him in his tracks. After he gave in to her demands for acknowledgement she padded alongside him to Ellana's side.

"Making progress?" he asked, ignoring the dragon's shrieks for more affection.

"Somewhat. I had not expected this to be so difficult," she muttered, not looking up from her scribbling.

He sat down on the boulder opposite to her and finally yielded to the dragon's pleading.

"It cannot be good for you sitting perched on a boulder for hours nor can it do much for your penmanship," he remarked. "I wish you would allow me to at least have a desk and chair brought out for you."

"If it would please you," she muttered dismissively.

"You are quite clearly not listening but I am going to hold you to that," he retorted with a laugh as he got up to close the distance between them. He knelt down beside her and wrapped a hand around the back of her neck. "Do you want to talk it through?"

She finally looked up at him and stopped writing as relief came over her expression.

"So, I'm going to write to Dorian; I figure he will approve of trying to broker peace and his input could only help," she started enthusiastically.

"Naturally," Solas replied, sitting down on the ground ready for what was likely to be a long discussion.

"My issue is what I told him the last time we wrote. I can't really write to him without confronting it…"

"About the baby?" he asked. She nodded. "He disapproved I presume? No doubt told you to run away from me as fast as you can?" Solas asked, unable to mask his scathing tone.

Ellana regarded him with a raised eyebrow.

"Something to that effect," she answered carefully.

"Just tell him you will consider his views then brush past it. No more need be said unless you feel otherwise."

"That could actually work," she muttered with a nod of approval. She started to scribble again frantically. "I should have asked you ages ago! You are, after all, the master of avoiding the issue."

Solas lay back on the ground with a slight thud and the dragon padded over to his side and nudged him in concern.

"I am going to take that as a compliment," he remarked.

She smirked back in return before resuming her scribbling. Solas lay a hand on the dragon and earned a satisfied whine in return.

"That was my only real problem with Dorian," Ellana eventually added. "The Inquisition is another matter entirely."

"I am listening," Solas muttered, closing his eyes but still very much aware.

"I thought long and hard about who would be best to approach. I cannot simply address it to the Inquisition as then it will end up in Leliana's hands and she is the least likely to listen," she explained at a rapid pace. "Josie or Cass seemed the natural options but Cassandra is too easy to anger and Josie would have a difficult time swaying the others. My plan was to address it to Cullen…"

Solas chuckled from the floor. "Of course it was," he scoffed.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Ellana interjected angrily.

He propped himself up on an arm, wearing an aggravating smirk. "Do you think me blind, vhenan, because I cannot imagine you would think me dim?"

"Get to the point, Solas, I am really starting to dislike your tone," she added with a glare.

"So you did think me blind? I would have to be not to notice the way he looked at you, he was far from subtle…still is in fact," he mused. "It is only natural that you would use whatever weakness you can find to your advantage."

Ellana stared blankly at him for a moment. "Wait a minute; you knew all along that Cullen had feelings for me and you think I am using that to gain an advantage?" she asked, hurt breaking through in her tone towards the end.

Solas's expression dropped. "You make it sound so crass. I meant that you intend to appeal to him because he is the most sympathetic to you and thus your cause. Approaching him is more likely to work in your favour than the others…"

"That's not what you made it sound like," Ellana interrupted angrily.

"Well then I apologise," he replied with a sigh. "It is…a touchy subject, for me at least." He sat up to face her properly. "To answer your first question – yes I knew Cullen was in love with you and very clearly still is."

She gazed at him for much too long, unsure what to say. He was right, Cullen had been rather obvious but at no point had Solas ever mentioned it.

"And before you ask," he continued, interrupting her thoughts, "yes it bothered me but not because of jealousy or anything so basic." Ellana's brow furrowed in confusion. "The entire time after I fell for you I could not help but wonder if you would be better off with him. Back then, I was too selfish to give you up but I was certain you would have been…" He trailed off in to silence.

"And now?" she prompted.

"Now I no longer think it matters. There is little use in wondering what could have been after so much time."

Ellana stared at him. He was so oddly matter-of-fact although it had clearly caused him turmoil at some point. It still amazed her that he had managed not to mention it until now.

"Anyway, what were you saying?" he prompted as he lay down once again.

Taken aback to the point of forgetting her task Ellana looked around in confusion until her gaze rested on the incomplete letters in her hands. Solas propped back up with an eyebrow raised.

"You know," Ellana started with a laugh, "I have absolutely no idea."

* * *

It had taken most of the night but Ellana was finally satisfied. Solas had remained by her side but fell asleep regularly as he predicted he would. He bid her to wake him when needed and it was a pleasant distraction inventing the means. Overall he had been a great help but he had also added a number of stipulations that had slowed matters. Ellana could see the merits in such rules if any meeting was to take place but it didn't exactly help with the writing. Eventually they came to a draft that both could agree upon and with dawns light they set out to the forward camp.

"You are definitely happy? Once we have sent them there will be no re-writes," Solas asked as they reached the ravens.

He seemed annoyingly together despite the all-nighter they had just pulled. Still wearing the same dirty clothes Ellana felt far from comfortable.

"Happy is a pretty strong word but yes, I am satisfied," she retorted with a yawn.

"That could be the exhaustion talking," he remarked as he brushed her dishevelled hair from her face.

"Either way, we are sending these damn letters!"

Solas laughed. "Very well."

He pulled two birds from the nearest cage and held them to perch on Ellana before taking two for himself.

"Two for each recipient as requested," he remarked with a smile.

"And you're sure they won't get shot down from here?" she asked with worry.

"Not certain but it is no more likely than anywhere else," he answered, already tying up his charges.

Ellana copied his actions until all the birds were ready. Solas looked at her expectantly.

"No turning back now," she remarked before releasing her birds to flurry away above them.

* * *

 **A/N - Ha! 13000 words! I must have missed our misguided pair more than I thought! Or my editing has hit an all time low... Probably both. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! :) The next one should hopefully be done faster.  
**


	27. The Coming Storm

**A/N – Hey guys! I'm officially back for the next couple of weeks! Quick note before we go on. For a while now I've been thinking about doing a massive re-write and I've finally decided I'm going to go ahead and get on that. No particular reason beyond I want to. I should really not read them as I just end up wanting to rewrite them but unfortunately that is the core reason they exist so kind of unavoidable. Anyway, the point is that I will be gradually uploading re-written chapters as I do them. Currently I have no intention of changing any story elements so those that have already read them shouldn't need to re-read but many will be noticeably different. If for some reason I do decide to change something I will update you.**

* * *

Within the walls of Skyhold the four gathered around the war table. Leliana intently read through papers and at the table's head Cassandra looked on expectantly, Josephine at her side. Nearest the door was Cullen with head downturned. Eyes no longer scanning but now twinkling in warning, Leliana looked up at him.

"How long have you had this?" she asked.

Cullen said nothing.

The dangerous glint intensified. "The paper is worn, ink faded as though it has been read multiple times," she continued.

Cassandra's gaze snapped to him. "Cullen!"

At last he raised his head. He was resigned to their anger but unrepentant; even they must surely understand his hesitation.

With a flippant gesture to Cassandra he replied, "It came to me a week ago but I thought it better to wait until you returned to…"

"Ha!" Leliana scoffed doubtingly. "I find it very hard to believe that that was the only reason."

"Enough," Cassandra interrupted. "Cullen's reasoning no longer matters; what matters is how we deal with this."

Cassandra snatched the paper from her colleague, ignoring the disgruntled look she received.

"She signed her own damn name…like it's even her words," she muttered angrily as she read.

Cullen and Leliana glared at one another beneath the Divine's notice. Josephine shifted nervously at the side.

"A meeting would be a viable option," she finally piped up to the otherwise silent room. "Our current efforts yield little and you all agreed that we need more time to finalise our alliance with Orlais." Leliana raised an eyebrow but Josephine kept on going regardless. "If we were to engage them we would not only learn more of our enemy but we could also buy ourselves some time."

Cullen nodded in assent and Leliana's doubting look noticeably softened but Cassandra still seemed to be barely listening.

"This is absurd!" she exclaimed, flailing the letter angrily. "They expect us to agree to meet them alone, unprotected! After everything they have done!" She stopped briefly to continue her reading. "And unarmed! With that monstrosity!"

"I would expect no less. He could end it far more easily by striking us down directly and Solas has never been one to miss an opportunity," Leliana added keenly.

"Ellana would never allow it," Cullen retorted.

As though he had uttered a terrible curse, her name brought a hush to the room. Leliana broke it with an irritated groan.

"We cannot rely on her, not anymore. She was clearly never the person we thought she was," Cassandra replied mournfully.

"Then refuse those terms," Josephine bravely added. "Negotiating with them surely causes us no harm…"

"If we demand troops then so will they," Leliana interrupted. Her expression turned abruptly to one of scheming. "But what they do not know is no threat to them..."

"You suggest we agree but bring soldiers anyway?" Cullen asked with scepticism.

A sly smile formed across Leliana's lips. "Not with the intent of attacking them; I am just as interested to hear what they have to say as you are; but as an assurance."

Cassandra considered for a moment as the others looked on.

"We do have no real obligation to give them honesty and allowing her her weapons would not be much more of a danger if it allows us ours…" she answered.

"Then you are in agreement?" Josephine asked, eyes glinting with rare hope.

"For now but I still question why they would even request a meeting. With Solas it is never as simple as it seems," she replied.

"If the rumours are true then they would certainly benefit from more time just as we would," Leliana added in a matter-of-fact tone.

Cullen's gaze turned questioning. "Rumours?" he asked.

The room fell silent, no one willing to be the first to break it. Looking around at them all Cullen could instantly tell that they all knew something he did not. Cassandra glowered at Leliana from across the room.

Finally with a roll of her eyes at the others, Leliana offered the truth, "Some of our scouts have stated that Ellana appears to be heavily pregnant."

Cullen's eyes widened and, despite their own personal feelings, the women all looked on with concern.

"We have much to do," Cassandra determinedly said, still watching Cullen. She turned to Josephine. "Compose a reply that covers everything we have discussed and run it by me before it is sent. Leliana, have scouts determine what areas would make for an appropriate meeting point; at least they gave us that choice. Cullen…" He looked up at her with eyes still filled with emotion. "…select and ready troops for the event. We are going to need good men and you know them better than anyone."

With that the three women exited leaving Cullen to process his shock alone as he would want.

Outside the door Josephine shook her head. "Better he find out now than if we see her." She let out a long mirthless sigh. "I'll talk to him," she muttered before heading back inside.

Leliana watched Cassandra stare vacantly after her. "Dorian is still waiting to speak with you," she prompted.

"Tell him I will be with him shortly; I need to gather my thoughts," Cassandra replied with a sigh. "I am sure he will understand why."

* * *

"You cannot have long now," Mirwen remarked; hand placed firmly on Ellana's protruding stomach.

Everyone seemed to have the desire to touch her now, often without even asking. Given that she at least knew her Mirwen was not as bad as some but it still made her feel uncomfortable.

"That's pretty vague. I need to know how long," Ellana replied, impatience evident in her tone.

Milling around in the background Firanni let out a frustrated groan. "Well you can't because we have no way of knowing." She paused to take a calming breath. "Are you feeling regular movement?" she asked with more patience.

"Yes. Regular and strong enough for others to feel," Ellana replied.

The fire haired girl appeared deep in thought for a moment but at long last she nodded. "Likely weeks if not a month judging by your size and feel."

"A month?!" Ellana exclaimed.

Firanni gave off another annoyed groan as she left the tent. Mirwen, in contrast, imparted a look of sympathy.

"Children rarely fit in to our plans. Better you learn that as early as possible," she remarked with a wry smile.

Ellana grumbled as she rose to her feet. "Damn it all!"

"You had expected sooner?" the old woman asked.

"Hoped is more like it. The last thing I want is to face the Inquisition pregnant." Ellana stretched with a further uncomfortable groan. "Does not exactly portray an image of strength…"

"You fear their judgement more than that."

Ellana had discussed little about the Inquisition with the Keeper but, as was typical, she clearly knew more than she rightly should.

"Is that so wrong?" Ellana asked, starting to pace about without purpose. "Giving them yet more reasons to question everything I do is not what I had in mind. Having Solas there will be bad enough. Not only am I going to have to listen to them tearing holes in my life but I'm also going to have to stop him from reacting, all while massively pregnant."

Mirwen's brow furrowed. "Where is the Wolf? It is unlike him not to attend."

"Busy," Ellana replied a little too abruptly. She let out another long sigh and finally stopped pacing. "He promised he would try but I think we both knew he wouldn't make it. Given that I am the one who created this whole chore, I can't really hold it against him."

Ellana regarded the Keeper with a thoughtful stare, long enough for the old woman to notice. Her eyebrows rose just as Ellana decided she would broach the subject she had in mind.

"To be honest, I'm worried about him. I feel like he's up to something and that thought bothers me more than all the other threats combined."

"He is always up to something, my dear," Mirwen offered with a smile.

Ellana shrugged it off. "No, it's different. The other night we were in the Fade and he just left me there. He has never done that before."

"What do you mean?" Mirwen asked with an inquiring look.

"I fell asleep in the dream," she explained, avoiding the awkwardness she felt at the fairly obvious reason. Mirwen's brow furrowed more deeply. "He would always wake me, even if that meant waiting but this time he didn't and after that, I can't remember anything."

"Maybe you simply forgot?"

"We have dreamt together so many times I have lost count and every time, I remember it clearly. Yes, I forget some things after a while but never that quickly. The only explanation I can think of is that he left me to dream naturally and so I lost my awareness." Ellana stopped to gaze down sadly at the floor. Mirwen's expression was no longer questioning but she offered nothing in return. "The more I think about why he would do that, the more I worry."

"Did you question him?" the old woman finally offered.

Ellana shrugged. "What would be the point? Either there will be a perfectly logical explanation or he will lie to me and I have no way of knowing which it is. Best case scenario - he would refuse to tell me and at least then I would know for sure that it's bad."

"You still fear losing him, don't you?" Mirwen added.

"Everyone I care about leaves me in the end. To me the fear is justified."

" _They_ leave _you_? Far easier to blame others than look inward," the Keeper muttered with a sigh.

Ellana's eyes widened as anger took over. "What is that supposed to mean?!" Just as abruptly as the emotion had come she stopped and sat down next to the Keeper with a thud. "That may actually be a valid point… My mother, my clan, the Inquisition and all my friends - I am the one who leaves," she said bringing her head to her hands.

"But not with him."

A wry smile formed across Ellana's lips. "No, I guess not. He does the leaving and I suppose I can't handle that."

"History does not have to repeat itself, my child. Do not allow your fear to rule you." Mirwen turned to her radiating warmth. "If it were my place I would tell you where he wanders but..."

Before the Keeper could finish Solas burst in to the tent breathing heavily.

"I am too late, aren't I?" he asked between breaths.

Ellana jumped up to her feet in surprise.

"I am so sorry," he started but stopped when he saw her expression. "Is all well?"

"Fine, absolutely fine. We were just finishing up," she replied as she hurried him out of the doorway. She shot Mirwen a quick, interrogative look as they left. "Baby appears healthy and all is well with me."

A grin erupted across his features.

"We are to expect her in a matter of weeks," she continued still leading him away from the tent as hastily as she could.

His expression dropped. "Oh… That is not what you were hoping for."

"No but I'll deal with it," she replied brusquely.

His look turned sceptical. "You're quite sure you are…"

"I am fine, baby is fine, you are fine, everything is fine!" she replied at a much higher pitch than she had intended.

No longer willing to be led Solas easily stopped her in her tracks. His intense stare burned through her already fried nerves.

"That was remarkably unconvincing," he stated firmly. Ellana looked anywhere but at him. "If this is one of those times where something _is_ wrong but you wish not to discuss it then I can cope but otherwise, enlighten me."

"Solas drop it," she replied through gritted teeth.

He continued regarding her for a few seconds. "Consider it dropped."

Taking her hand in his, they walked together back through the camps. Paying no heed to the customary scrutiny of the masses, a thousand thoughts rushed through Ellana's mind. She no longer had the luxury of focusing on one worry. Outside of her notice Solas watched her with a slowly forming smile.

"I am sorry I could not attend but you know how matters have been," he started.

"I do. Quite frankly it's a miracle _I_ could even attend," she replied, her thoughts quieting slightly with the distraction. "What was it today?"

"Logistics," he groaned, nose wrinkling in dislike.

Ellana let slip a small laugh. "Don't kid on, you live for logistics." She tugged playfully on his arm, pulling herself in closer. "Logistics and planning – your two great loves."

"Hardly," he added. "Planning maybe and the actual execution is certainly enjoyable but the organisation part is just tedious." Ellana let out another doubting laugh. "And immensely time consuming, I might add." He stopped, turning her to face him. "There are far better ways I could be spending my time."

"Two nights now I have barely slept as a direct result of the way we 'spend our time'," she retorted with a pat to her stomach. "Until I sleep, you are getting nothing from me."

She walked away to the sound of his tentative chuckling.

"Very funny… Vhenan?" He rushed to catch up to her. "You are joking?" The look she gave told him otherwise. "Did you ever consider I was not so focused on the more carnal side of our relationship?"

"Ha! Don't try and turn this around on me!" she interrupted, shoving him harder than she had intended. She took his arm again with a smirk. "And I was just about to let you convince me…"

* * *

Ellana had tried in vain to sleep. With the curtains drawn she couldn't tell the time exactly but it felt like it had been hours. Beyond the bedroom door she had intermittently heard the sound of conversations but mercifully few details beyond the occasional word. She was glad to avoid any reminders permeating through that might upset her vaguely quieted mind. Even still she could not lessen her main barrier - discomfort. She tried to get creative with the pillows but the bump itself made finding a suitable position difficult. Occasionally she did somehow manage to get comfy but that just seemed to provoke the baby inside of her to move with fervour. Finally she gave up and with a rub of her tired eyes sat on the edge of the bed.

"Ellana!"

For a time she wondered if the call had simply been her exhausted imagination but opted to open the door slightly just to be sure. Solas waited for her on the other side.

"You have not slept, have you?" he asked, concern written clearly on his face.

"No…" Ellana replied, eyes drawn to an envelope in his hand. "She keeps kicking me. What is that?"

"I think you already know," he replied, holding it out to her with a bleak expression.

She stared at it as the worries came flooding back but avoided taking it from him. Finally she looked up.

"Have you read it?" she asked in an uneven voice.

"I am pretty certain it is what we have been waiting for but no, I thought you should be the first."

Tentatively she took it from him. Nothing was written on the outside but the envelope bore the seal of the Inquisition, just like the others had. They had received four such letters since Ellana first sent her request. When the first had arrived she dreaded opening it, expecting more of what she had experienced in person but in the end she was actually disappointed. Each was short and hurtfully impersonal, focused purely on ironing out terms. They were not even addressed to her. In hindsight Ellana knew that she should have foreseen such treatment, after all she had more than earned it.

"If this _is_ it, are we ready?" she asked, stopping short of opening the seal.

"Yes," Solas replied with eyes screaming at her to just open it.

She nodded, still hesitating. The terms were all but agreed; there was nothing left but a date and a location. Once they had that they would have to move forward and she wished more than anything that that did not have to happen. Resigned to the fact that wishing could never change reality she finally tore open the seal. She scanned the two pages within, one a map which she handed straight to Solas.

"No soldiers; location decided by them and mapped below; dawn; open ground; weapons allowed on account of you and finally no violence of any kind including magic," she started as she read. Solas nodded his assent along with her. "They go on to state that you and I are to be the only parties present from our side; which was the plan anyway; and that only Cullen, Leliana and Cassandra will be present from their side."

"Seems logical; Josephine, while brilliant, was certainly no fighter and they clearly expect duplicity," Solas added, still examining the map intently.

"Two days from now…" she uttered with a gasp. She studied it again in the hope that she misunderstood. "They want to meet two days from now at that location."

She gazed up at Solas with desperation and he reached out to reassuringly touch her shoulder with one hand and handed over the map with the other.

"It appears to be just inland of the Storm Coast," he clarified as she gazed blankly at it. "There is an Eluvian not far from it."

Sure she was not actually looking at the paper; he brought himself down to her eye level. She looked so unbearably lost.

"We can do this together, vhenan, we can," he said hoping he could offer her at least some comfort.

Her eyes remained vacant as she regarded him. "I know."

She turned from him with nothing more and took herself back in to the lonely bedroom. Hugging her legs as much as she could with her unwieldy stomach she sat on the bed hunched. Over on his side she caught a glimpse of a journal squashed beneath the weight of a heavy tome. It was one of the ones he scribbled away in when he thought she was not around. The blue fabric that bound it called out for her to touch, read and learn the truth but she knew that it would only offer more sorrow. She turned away from it to her own table and picked up an envelope she was far more familiar with. Dorian had replied when she requested his assistance with their current situation but never since. He had seemed happy enough to write with her and she had sent him multiple updates but yet nothing ever came. She was left wondering and, as always, expecting the worst.

* * *

Time passed slowly for Ellana. Mere months ago she had walked the ground of Tevinter for the first time not knowing that it would be the last time she was allowed to stray far. Although it was an unspoken rule it was one she chose willingly not to question. She had reached a point now where her size made it almost impossible to defend herself and, even though she would never admit it openly, she did realise how vulnerable she was. She kept herself busy with the more conceptual side but it could never bring her the solace that came with real action. Devising and preparing led unavoidably to ruminating and that was the last thing she needed. While she sat on the side-lines her team, however, was more in demand than ever. They had become something of a legend amongst their people, akin to Fen'Harel's personal taskforce, and thus requests for their services came from all corners of the organisation. Ellana could not bring herself to keep them back no matter how much it hurt to let them go. With each new job she would involve herself as much as she was able knowing they would leave her behind but it was worth it to keep from feeling completely excluded.

Although Ellana did nothing to keep her team from maturing without her, her absence still limited them somewhat. They had effectively been cut off from the top levels of the organisation and as a result none of them needed to be privy to the information they had previously enjoyed. It wasn't long before her friends took whatever opportunity they could to seek out what they had lost and the current happenings with the Inquisition were no different.

"I'm with you on everything else but you've agreed to no soldiers, right? Yet you're bringing them anyway? Isn't that just asking for trouble?" Lis questioned with a puzzled look. Next to her on the ground, Lori mirrored her anxieties.

Even before Ellana wrote it she had never thought the Inquisition would agree to the 'no soldiers' term. In their position she would have rejected it almost immediately. While it was a pretty reasonable request for a meeting between enemies one glaring factor made it unfathomable in this case and that was Solas. Even with three accomplished fighters in Cullen, Cassandra and Leliana they could still be extinguished from this world in seconds and so it had been exceedingly surprising when they had not dismissed her request outright. Her former friends were certainly not fools so she knew then that they must have intended to even the odds another way.

"It's only because I'm certain they will too," Ellana clarified. "It's not like we think we'll actually need them or anything; it's just a precaution. Better to have them hidden away just in case."

"They might try and attack you?" Lori abruptly asked. "It would make sense to take you both out there and then…"

Lis turned to her, brow furrowed in a mixture of annoyance at her bluntness and worry.

Ellana simply chuckled. "No. Even with hidden soldiers, they will not act with that level of risk."

Lori shrugged in response, ignoring Lis's still firmly placed glower. Ellana rose to her feet fearing that if she stayed seated too long she might never get up. In the process of stretching out her stiff joints she ambled over towards her remaining two friends that were sparring by the trees. She tired of talking about the Inquisition but unfortunately for her Lis did not share that sentiment.

"What about us?" she asked, following close behind.

This time it was Ellana's turn to be confused. "What about you?"

"Do you want us there? We could drop this job and come with you…"

"No!" Ellana replied with telling speed. "No, I…I think it would be best for you all to maintain focus on your own task. You have a job to do and it's not any of your faults that I cannot be there with you."

Lis's expression softened. "You know none of us hold it against you. We've missed you since you got too big to come on our little adventures," she said before placing a hand on Ellana's stomach.

"I've missed it too."

The two exchanged bleak glances.

"But soon we'll have a baby to play with and you can come back!" Lis went on, breaking in to a wide grin.

Ellana tried to return her joy but managed only a weak smile. She wanted to believe that they could go back to how things were but deep down she knew it would never be the same. As if sensing her fears Lis lay a hand on her upper arm, eyes glistening with recognition.

"When I first met you I thought you would be trouble. Who would have thought we would end up still friends after so long!" she remarked.

Ellana's gaze turned sour, worries forgotten. "Trouble? _You_ thought _I_ was going to be trouble?"

"Well…I don't know…you were Dalish and you had this kind of self-assured thing going on," Lis stuttered carefully. "I guess I just presumed you were going to be a bit up-yourself…" Ellana's glare only darkened. "But you're not so it all worked out! First impressions don't really mean anything anyway…"

"Yes they do!" Ellana interjected angrily. She marched away from Lis towards the others. "Hey, Shiv! What was your first impression of me?"

The dark-skinned elf's brow furrowed in suspicion as she abruptly stopped her activities. "This is a trap, isn't it?"

"No! Tell me honestly. I promise I will not get mad," Ellana replied as the others crowded round.

"The first time we met?" Shivra asked to which Ellana nodded. "Hmmm…well… overconfident tight-ass first off…" Ellana let out an angry noise. "But then it became pretty clear that that was all an act to hide crippling self-doubt so I…"

"Crippling self-doubt?! What the actual fuck?!" Ellana interrupted loudly.

"Well, yeah. You think you are a terrible person that no one should ever rely on; it's like your thing…" Shivra went on in a matter-of-fact tone.

To Ellana's horror, Lis nodded beside her. "Yeah, what's with that? Even when everyone still chooses to put their trust in you, it's like you just ignore it…"

"Or force yourself to act the way you think you should," Miris interjected.

"Yeah, exactly! It's what makes you you," Shivra enthusiastically added.

"Kind of endearing in a bizarre way," Miris declared with a warm smile.

"Endearing?! I am apparently portraying myself as a woman consumed by self-doubt at best and just a plain bitch at worst and that is endearing to you?!" Ellana angrily replied.

"We stuck around didn't we? So you must be all right," Shivra mused. "What does it matter anyway? Fuck the opinions of everyone else."

"Yeah! You will always have us; that will never change," Lis uttered, the true weight of her words lost to all but Ellana.

* * *

The top floor of the ivory tower was silent. The faint sound of scribbling from the balcony broke through the quiet as Ellana made her way through the rooms. Watching him - legs outstretched, lost in his writing - made her smile in spite of everything. With her quiet footfalls long replaced by more of a baby-heavy waddle it must have been something important to capture his attention so that he failed to hear her.

"What are you working on?" she asked, still perched watching from the doorway.

Solas jumped at the sound of her voice, shutting the journal almost immediately. It was different from the other, leather-bound, but the variety was hardly irregular. Once his fright abated, a gentle smile formed at the mere sight of her.

"Vhenan," he greeted, savouring the word. With a gesture he bid her to join him. "I would rather we not discuss work; my days are obsessed by it and I cannot describe how much I wish to speak of anything else."

She sat down in his lap entwining his outstretched legs with hers. "Well then, I have a question for you," she replied.

He closed his eyes and murmured contentedly, "Ask away."

"What was your first impression of me?"

He opened his eyes to gaze at her with marked suspicion. "Why?" he asked.

"The ladies gave me some unsolicited criticism and I wished to gain your perspective."

"Criticism?" he prompted, trying to divert.

She glared at him. "Answer the question, Solas."

He let out a long sigh. "In all honesty I spent much of our first meeting overwhelmed by how extraordinarily attractive you were."

"That's a bit shallow," Ellana scoffed.

He gazed down on her looking hurt. "You were unconscious, vhenan, I had little else to judge."

"Oh…of course I was. Sorry. I…I forget that part," she replied. "That must have been rough, all that temptation and no one around…"

"I resent what you are implying and I can assure you there were plenty of people around," he interjected. "Although, I did find you rather distracting…" Ellana let slip a giggle and he met it with a playful glare. "I had to keep telling myself that the person would never match the appearance; that you would be just as disappointing as the others. With hindsight I truly did set myself up for a fall…" He drifted off in to thought, only returning when she nudged him. "My impression then was just presumption, based on nothing; it matters little in the grand scheme of it all."

"You're right, I guess," she relented with a sigh. "Even still, I apparently do not make a good first impression…when I'm awake that is…"

Solas lay back against the chair again. "You concern yourself too much with what others think of you."

"And you don't?" she scoffed back. "You cannot tell me that you have no interest in finding out what my first impression was of you."

Closing his eyes again he smiled a self-satisfied smile. "I can imagine but, by all means, go on."

"Nope. If you're so secure you should not need me to…"

"I do not _need_ you to but you cannot dangle a thread and expect me not to pull," he interrupted with annoyance. Much to her satisfaction he sat up and turned her to face him. "Tell me."

Ellana made him wait before speaking, "Well I knew you thought I was pretty, you were not very good at hiding…"

"I was aware. Next point," Solas interjected dismissively.

A sigh escaped her before she spoke, "Bookish know-it-all was the general impression…"

"And that is accurate," he added with a deep frown. "But yet you make it sound so negative?"

"No, not like you actually are but you know the type – incapable of original thought, reads other people's work and spouts it like it's their opinion, awkward in pretty much every situation? That's the impression I got at first but you proved me wrong."

"At what point?" he asked with genuine curiosity.

"I realised pretty quickly that your opinions were anything but borrowed; more controversial in every sense of the word," she explained as he nodded along expectantly. "And I suppose I dropped the impression of you as the awkward, bookish type the second I spoke to you alone."

"And what made you do that?" he asked, starting to look a bit smug for her liking.

"Are you really going to make me say it?" He lay back and closed his eyes again, nodding. "The flirting. I was expecting a clumsy mess, especially at first, but it was surprisingly arousing."

"Interesting. I am glad you enjoyed it so," he replied, grinning.

Finally satisfied, he quieted down. Ellana ran the fingers of one hand down his arm to meet his palm and he interwove them with his. Letting out a long sigh she rested her head against the crook of his neck. Even sitting in silence like this would be enough for her.

"If this were our entire world I would not complain," he uttered quietly as though mirroring her thoughts.

Ellana was just about to agree when a quick, stabbing pain resonated through her ribs and she let out a loud grumble as a second, less-powerful wriggle followed.

"What is it?" he asked, pulling away from her slightly.

Ellana sat up and instinctively held her stomach. "She's kicking again," she replied just as she felt another lesser more aching pain.

Solas brought a hand to join hers and made a joyful sound at the movements.

"Remarkable, is it not…" he uttered quietly.

Ellana glowered at him, pain still undeniable. "She's not inside you!"

"No but at least she is strong, vhenan." Bringing his face closer to her stomach his smile widened as another movement rippled through her skin. "You are strong just like your mother," he said. "Hopefully you will not share her temper but you certainly share her strength."

As he spoke the movements gradually stopped. A look of disappointment came over him but Ellana certainly didn't share that sentiment.

"Thank the gods for that," she remarked with genuine relief but another shot of pain came shortly afterr. "You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

"Language, vhenan," Solas chastised with a smirk. Faced with a seething glare he quickly retracted his smile. "Please stop kicking your mother or I fear I will be the one who faces the consequences," he begged of her belly.

Yet again the kicking stopped. Ellana let out a small gasp.

"She stops when you talk," she uttered.

Solas sat up with a doubting stare. "That seems like an outlandish explanation. Coincidence surely…"

"Well then let's test the hypothesis," Ellana interrupted, placing his hand back on her stomach.

After a short period of quiet the kicking started up again and just as she predicted, stopped as he spoke to her bump. Ellana smiled widely and eventually after a few more tests he joined her.

"This is incredible!" he remarked looking happier than she had ever seen him.

"It is…and now you can never stop talking," she added, laying back on him.

Solas's features darkened.

"At least until I get some sleep," she clarified.

"Am I to presume then that _I_ will not be getting any sleep?" he asked. She didn't reply, only smirking with eyes already closed. "Wonderful…" he added, sighing.

* * *

At long last Ellana felt well-rested and she was going to need it. The time they had left passed in the blink of an eye and before she knew it they were leaving for the Storm Coast. They had planned to arrive early, hoping to prepare everyone long before they would be needed. Solas wished to do this alone but even with his reluctance, Ellana eventually wore him down. They left together in the wee hours of the morning accompanied by their secreted soldiers.

Whilst scouting out the area their people had inevitably come across Inquisition agents with similar purpose. Ellana could not say she was surprised, after all scouts had never been mentioned so they were not technically outside the rules. However it did limit what either could achieve. Both parties were reluctant to cross the boundaries of their newly founded territories and thus were unable to discover the undoubtedly concealed troops of either side. Not knowing where or how many Inquisition soldiers were present was an unknown variable that neither Solas nor Ellana liked. Even still Solas seemed oddly at ease. It was strange seeing him react this way but, thinking on it, it was hardly surprising given that this was a game he knew all too well.

Dawn was the agreed meeting time so as the real light threatened Solas and Ellana made their way out of the forest alone. They stood waiting surrounded by open grassland for what seemed like an age. Ellana looked back to the tree line. She knew they were there but she could not see their troops stationed in the shadow of the trees. The thought of them brought her little comfort. The air around her crackled unnervingly and she gave Solas a sideways glance.

"You need to calm down," she commented, finally breaking the tense silence.

He didn't meet her gaze. "I am perfectly calm."

Ellana raised an eyebrow. "You are not; I can always tell. I could forgive apprehension but you are positively fizzing," she commented, gesturing to the air around them.

At long last he looked at her, the ghost of a smile forming. "Fine," he relented. He took in a long breath and finally exhaled as the tension around them calmed with him. "Satisfied?"

"I'll be satisfied once this is done and once I am confident you have no surprises waiting," she retorted.

"Nothing harmful," he replied guiltily. She glowered at him. He met her regard with surprising confidence. "Nothing but stage-setting, vhenan."

"Well it better be. I don't think I can handle much more drama than we are already in for." Her look softened. "I'm not even sure I can handle that if I'm honest…"

He turned his gaze forward once again. "You will; there is no doubt in my mind."

She smiled up at him and, as though he could sense her feeling, he returned it without looking. For a few moments she felt secure but far too swiftly the unwelcome nerves returned. She gazed down at herself and shifted about.

"Do I look pregnant in this?" she eventually asked.

With a sideways look Solas examined her. "Yes, massively," he concluded matter-of-factly.

Ellana hung her head. "Great…just great…"

He looked down on her in concern. "Why do you ask?" He came to an answer faster than she could reply and a slight chuckle escaped him. "They are going to know you are pregnant, vhenan; no outfit can conceal that."

She glared up at him with a readied insult but never got the chance. The sun had finally crested over the horizon and with it came the ominous sound of hooves in the distance. Almost immediately she could see Solas tense up again. Three horse-bound figures descended over the slight rise in the landscape ahead and as they drew nearer her nerves rose until she felt she could barely speak. By the time the figures stopped and dismounted they were no longer foreboding shadows rather faces she knew well. The air started to crackle yet again but this time it brought her comfort. Although she feared their words more than their actions his incontestable power still was a welcome reassurance.

"Fear not the doubts they can create…" Solas whispered to her as the figures approached, "…for they already existed inside yourself."

Ellana met his words with a disbelieving look, barely noticing her former friends coming in to close proximity. By the time she thought to regard them they already wore the dismayed looks she had been expecting.

"Greetings, glad you could finally find the time to meet with us," Solas started, clearly trying to calm himself through amusement.

Only Leliana managed to wipe the look of shock from her face. "Dawn was the agreed meeting time, as you well know," she replied coldly.

Before Solas could open his mouth Cassandra interrupted still wearing an expression of utter disbelief, "Ellana…I…by the Maker…"

Ellana despised every second of it. "Stop. I do not need nor want your pity," she spat, earning a momentarily ruffled look from Solas.

"Have you gone utterly mad?!" Cassandra replied angrily. "You must be insane to…"

"Enough!" Solas shouted, air snapping menacingly around him.

Everyone fell utterly silent and the air quieted.

Once he had fully regained control, Solas broke the hush, "First order of business, have you kept to our terms? I presume you _have_ brought soldiers?"

The three exchanged worried glances.

A smug smile formed across Solas's face. "That is a definite yes…"

To Ellana's surprise Cullen interrupted, "We have brought troops but I am certain you expected that of us." Leliana glared at him. "I presume you have as well?"

Looking almost impressed by Cullen's attempts to regain control of the exchange Solas let out a slight laugh. "That is hardly relevant. It is me you are afraid of not my soldiers."

This time it was Cullen's turn to laugh. "Afraid is not the word I would use to describe my feelings towards you."

There was clear threat in his tone and Ellana could not help but admire his gall. Looking upon his still shaken expression she did feel for him; so much so that she felt the need to prevent the situation from escalating beyond his control.

"We are wasting our time with such arguments," she interrupted, stopping an open-mouthed Solas before he could start. "We did not meet to exchange meaningless insults but rather find some form of agreement. You two may be so easily led from our goal but I will not."

Her reprimand met its mark and both Solas and Cullen looked momentarily sheepish. Forgetting herself, Cassandra shot her the briefest of smiles.

Just as quickly her look lost all sense of amusement. "Agreement between us? You must hold yourself in high regard if you think we can ever reach _that_ ," she remarked with an icy stare. "Not when you intend to destroy everything that we hold dear."

Ellana shut her eyes in annoyance. "I know perfectly well that you will never agree with our cause. I am not a fool. I had hoped you would see the benefit in preventing the deaths of innocent people in the here and now but perhaps I have misjudged you?"

"Innocents?!" Leliana interjected. "Your people represent you do they not?! They fight for the same monstrous goals as you do even if they may not know it!"

"And what of your own people?" Solas added in an even tone. "Will you consider them expendable when they die too?" At that the fire in Leliana's eyes burned out entirely. "So far we have not seen fit to retaliate but I assure you that time has ended. The days of you attacking us unprovoked are over."

The threat in Solas's words was plain for all to hear and with it a satisfying hush fell. The three exchanged more worried glances.

Eventually Cullen piped up, "We value our people; they are not mere numbers to us. Even in the pursuit of stopping you we do not wish for any unnecessary death." He turned to Ellana with an imploring look. "Do not think us cold-hearted. We do care for your people. I believe they are innocent and every one is a life we could have saved."

Out of the corner of her eye Ellana could see Solas tensing up again.

"There were two of yours, they fought but in the end we managed to capture them," Cullen continued desperately. "Not for a moment did their faith in you falter, even when faced with the truth. It didn't matter what we said they still believed that you meant to save them." Beneath the weight of his words Ellana was unable to contain her pain any longer; her face crumpled uncontrollably as her heart wavered. "It was both touching and heart-breaking to see. Not for a moment did they even consider what you truly intended. Not for…"

"Stop this futility!" Solas suddenly shouted, the sheer volume of his voice forcing Cullen to take an involuntary step back. Having regained some semblance of composure Solas went on in a cold, infinitely measured tone, "It does not matter how you push or how you struggle this ends the same way. All you can do is keep us from halting the lives of your people prematurely. Anything beyond that is pointless."

Cassandra took a few sudden steps towards him, face reddening with anger. "Pointless?! Do you think her feelings pointless too?!" she shouted with a gesture towards Ellana. "I will not stand here and listen to someone like you calling our struggles pointless! Trying to save the world is _never_ pointless!" she roared.

Hardly flinching, Solas did not give her an inch. "It is if you fail."

Ellana saw it coming long before Cassandra moved. She was incensed, utterly blinded by rage and that could only go one way when it came to Cassandra. Still not knowing how things had gotten so swiftly out of hand, Ellana despaired. In complete contrast Solas barely even reacted. He braced for the blow but made no moves to avoid it. He was clearly misjudging Cassandra's strength. While undoubtedly strong, she was slow which meant Ellana had little trouble catching her fist long before it met its target. When he opened his eyes Ellana hoped Solas would laugh at the sight but he was dangerously far from amusement. He advanced on Cassandra; eyes cold and utterly devoid of any understanding. Cassandra looked upon him with rare and genuine fear.

"There was a time I respected you, Seeker," he started. "And it is for that reason alone that I am allowing you to reconsider your actions. I would be loath to end your life over a misstep when once I held you with regard. Are we in agreement?"

Even with his dominating stance Cassandra did nothing to try and regain control. Anger long gone, the colour tellingly drained from her face as she nodded weakly.

Solas turned to Ellana. "Release her," he ordered as he gave the once proud Seeker some space.

She stepped back behind the others with a look of shame. It was hard for Ellana to watch her perpetually strong former friend made so weak and she resented Solas for it.

With everyone back in order Solas spoke once again, "Enough of the games. We have no intention of ceasing our activities and thus you will not relent in your pursuit of our demise. That is fact and to debate otherwise is a waste of all our time."

Cullen and Leliana reluctantly murmured their assent, Cassandra still too shamed to offer much from the background. Ellana was the only one who looked directly at Solas glaring her disappointment.

"Killing our people, I assure you, does nothing to further your goal. No matter how many you take down, I will remain and I will not give up so easily," Solas continued.

"You lie," Leliana interrupted with notable caution. "The fewer people you have, the slower you make progress…"

"A valid point," Solas interjected in turn. "But still not a solution. Your only way out of this is to kill me and currently..." He paused to gaze derisively at Cassandra. "..you are failing in that respect."

"You would offer us a chance at you in exchange for your people?" Cullen added sceptically.

A slight smile formed across Solas's expression. "Yes, to a degree. Your people against mine including, of course, myself. You are unlikely to get this chance again so I suggest…"

"On equal grounds we would have no hope of winning and you know it," Cullen interrupted with a sneer.

Solas's smile widened. "Indeed and that is why I propose no limits. You have significantly more soldiers, do you not? It would be far from equal."

They all exchanged disbelieving looks and for the first time Cullen actually appeared hopeful. They were falling right in to his trap and the thought alone broke Ellana's heart.

Cassandra finally stepped forward. "But what could you possibly gain from this?" she asked doubtingly.

Ellana took her opportunity, albeit grudgingly, to convince them further, "Even if the odds are stacked against us it would be the best chance we have to secure the time we need. It does not matter what you throw at us I believe we can still win."

Solas placed a hand on her back as their opposition descended in to murmured discussion. Even though a part of her still wanted to punch him for so quickly pushing her aside it was somewhat comforting.

"You completely took over," she whispered to him angrily. "You gave up on them almost immediately."

"Not quickly enough," he whispered back with a sideways glance.

Before them Leliana stepped forward bringing their discussions to an abrupt end.

"Simply no limits on numbers…?"

Solas interrupted dismissively, "No limits on anything. You can bring however many and whomever you wish and we shall do the same."

With that Leliana and her comrades resumed their mutterings and Ellana turned back to Solas.

"You barely gave me any chance to try and convince them," she whispered.

With an angry noise Solas answered before she could finish, "It was not _them_ who was being convinced."

Leliana stepped forward once again before Ellana could form a reply. "And where would this take place?"

"Here seems as good a place as any," Solas replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "No doubt you would find it comforting to face us in a place you selected."

Leliana looked around at her comrades and eventually nodded in agreement. "Given how favourable you have been I would presume there is something you would ask of us in return?"

Ellana spoke before Solas could, "Time. All attacks on our people are to cease from this day until the day we meet on the battlefield; if one more elf dies by your hands this deal would be null and forfeit."

The group exchanged looks.

"What of your people? A complete ceasefire between both parties would be the only acceptable deal," Cullen added.

"We will agree to that even though it will no doubt give you even more of an advantage," Ellana replied with a glance towards Solas.

Cullen looked away sheepishly.

"And scouting?" Leliana piped up.

"Obviously we will all wish to keep watch on this place for the foreseeable future and I see no harm in keeping an eye on one another provided there is no violence," Solas mused.

Leliana nodded her assent. "Agreed." The three descended in to discussions again for a brief moment before Leliana emerged once more. "We propose two and a half months from this date, no more than that."

"Of course you do," Solas replied with a slight smirk. "Imagine the troops you could recruit in that time whilst avoiding the risk of us completing our goal." He stopped for a period and gazed down at Ellana in careful consideration. "One month."

The group exchanged confused glances. Finally Cassandra nodded.

"Agreed," she said, outreaching a hand to Solas which he shook. Cassandra did not let go. "I will stop you," she spat back at him.

Solas pulled himself free. "You disappoint me, Seeker. Maybe after all is said and done you will be better off this way."

With that he turned on his heel and walked away taking Ellana with him. From behind Cullen came forward.

"You are going to get her killed!" he shouted after them. "If you cared at all for her you would let her go!"

Solas did not break his stride but even still Ellana could tell that the words had struck a nerve. He raised his free hand.

"Solas…don't…" Ellana begged.

He brought his hand down and with it arrows flew from the tree line. Ellana let out a horrified gasp, powerless to do anything. Solas sighed as, to her complete surprise, they thudded down in to the ground, missing entirely and forming a perfect line on either side of the shocked three.

"Stage-setting, vhenan," he remarked casually, pulling her back in to a walk. "Just stage-setting."

* * *

Solas was seething. The meeting itself had gone largely as he expected and in his mind the plan was already set but none of that mattered if Ellana was having doubts. During the walk back to the Eluvian only the intense desire to save face had kept him from losing his composure. She seemed none the wiser; happy to discuss the details of what had transpired while ignoring the significance of his truncated replies. As they waited for their entourage to pass through the Eluvian safely, she kept on going, oblivious. Before she could pass through he grabbed her arm.

"What do you think you were doing back there?!" he asked angrily. She cocked her head to one side with a look of bemusement. "You told me you were with me on all of this!"

"What _are_ you talking about?" she asked, still appearing taken aback. "I _am_ with you."

"You expect me to believe that after what I just saw?!" he interjected, taking a step away from her. "And do not claim ignorance; if your trepidation was obvious enough for _Cassandra_ to notice then it must have been damned clear!"

"You have got to be fucking kidding me! I've just had to declare war on my friends and you choose _now_ to bring this up?! All because Cullen got to me?!" she yelled back, closing the distance between them. "Do you think me so cold that hearing how much faith our people place in us, knowing how misguided it is, wouldn't give me pause?! It should do! I'm glad it does! At least then I know I care! The fact that you do not share the same regard for your people is, quite frankly, disturbing."

He pushed her away. "They are not _my_ people and saying it over and over does not change that!"

"You say I mean the world to you," Ellana started quietly, "that there is nothing you would not do for me…"

"My feelings for you have nothing to do with them…"

"But I am them, Solas! I am not special, no matter how much you may want me to be. I am one of them and nothing more," she interrupted forcing him to turn back and look at her. "You claim to love me but you will not afford them even a moment…"

"It is still entirely irrelevant!" he spat back, shirking away from her touch. "I should not have to find out you are having doubts in front of our damn enemies, Ellana! If you are having second thoughts tell me now!"

Her face contorted with hurt. "You have so little faith in me. I mean what I say, Solas, every bit of it. I am no less resolved but that does not mean I have to like it." Finally he looked at her, gaze softening noticeably. " _My_ people will never find peace in this world nor can I live knowing what we have lost. If there was any other alternative I would jump on it without hesitation but there is not and I cannot see how there ever will be. Your way will destroy everything I have ever known, the good and the bad, but that is a sacrifice I will make for a chance; even if my elves never get to live to see it; even if _I_ never get to live to see it."

She turned away from him but he still tried. "Vhenan, I…"

"Don't!" she screamed, nudging his outstretched hand away. "I don't need your pity!" She fixed her eyes to his. "In case you are in any doubt know that I will hate every moment of this. I struggle not to resent you for it. You didn't mean to bring me in to your world nor would you force me to remain but still a part of me will always blame you for opening my eyes. Gods know I love you but don't you dare question me again; it only makes it harder…"

Finally she allowed him to place an arm gingerly around her. "I know and I am…"

"Do not say you're sorry…please," she interrupted while reassuringly not pulling away. "You know where I stand and I would much rather move on and forget this ever happened." Feeling he owed her more he tried to speak but again she interrupted. "You were an asshole but I have already forgiven you so please, let's just move on."

Solas gazed down on her feeling much like she had described and disconcertingly unworthy. Finally her grey eyes met his.

"Vhenan, I do love you," he finally said, meaning every word.

She took his hand in hers. "I know you do although you have a funny way of showing it," she replied before leading him through the mirror at last.

* * *

The past few days had been arduous. Ellana insisted on dissecting every word from the meeting and when she tired of that she moved on to every possible eventuality that could come from it. Even though her anxieties were undeniably exasperating Solas appreciated that she was at least trying. In hindsight he should never have agreed to appoint her Commander. She had been his escape, his sense of normalcy but now she too had been fully corrupted by his work. Still he held on to the hope that once this was done she would turn back in to what he needed. Without that he feared he would go back to what he was – just as detached and empty as the world he judged so harshly.

On the positive side Ellana seemed to have finally accepted they had no choice but to use the dragon. In the face of scout reports and cautious estimates she could no longer deny that they were going to be catastrophically outnumbered. As a direct result of this realisation she had taken to spending much of her days hidden away on her island. It was hard to stay away but somehow Solas had managed, all the while echoing to himself his faith in her. Nevertheless his mantra became ineffective as his curiosity grew and he found himself wandering there almost against his will. It was funny but even after all this time the thought of seeing Ellana was enough to birth excitement from him. He found her perched on the cliff edge in quiet contemplation; the dragon nowhere to be seen. When she saw him she got quickly to her feet. An odd expression overcame her as though she were forcing elation beyond the normal limits.

"What are you doing?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Testing something," she replied dismissively, still hopping about like some sort of mad woman. Eventually she came to rest with a disappointed groan.

Solas took a few tentative steps closer. "Vhenan?"

She looked up with a start as though noticing him properly for the first time. "Oh! Sorry," she answered at last.

She ran over to embrace him and he smiled down on her, enjoying the closeness but still wearing a look of complete puzzlement.

She reddened slightly. "Yeah I…uh…. I was testing to see if Dhaveira would know you were here without me saying anything…"

"But she is not here, vhenan…"

"She _is_!" Ellana replied defiantly, still clearly embarrassed. She called out to the dragon and sure enough the beast ascended the other side of the cliffs. "I wondered if she might be able to tell just from my excitement."

"Oh…" Solas expressed, finally understanding her bizarre behaviour. "But how could she if she cannot see you?"

The red in her cheeks deepened. "I never claimed it was a good theory…" Solas let out a laugh. "But I still wanted to know!"

He touched her cheek apologetically. "Forgive me my amusement, vhenan, but I feel as though I am missing some crucial steps; which only makes your proposal seem all the more bizarre."

"It is not bizarre!" she retorted, pushing herself away from him just as Dhaveira padded forward. "If you spent as much time with her as I do then it would make sense!" She let out a frustrated noise and started to pace as Solas greeted the eager dragon. "See! Remember how she was with you before and look at her now! What has changed? Something must have for her to act so markedly different!"

"I do not see what relevance this has to…" he started, brow still wrinkled in confusion.

"I am getting to it!" Ellana interrupted. "Answer the question."

Solas shrugged. "She knows me now?"

"But she does not! Just like she did not know me the first time we came barging in to her home," she abruptly added, practically skipping. "But yet she made no attempt to attack me even though she seemed perfectly willing to set you on fire." Slowly a look of understanding spread through Solas's expression although Ellana barely noticed it. "Why was that? It was nothing to do with her and everything to do with us." Finally she stopped pacing long enough to notice his recognition. "You see! When I met her I was curious, I was no threat whereas you…you were poised to attack. She knew that! Body language, expression, however you want to explain it but somehow she knew and she acted accordingly just like she does with you now!"

"So by your logic if you, a person she now trusts, were to feel a strong emotion towards something…"

Ellana nodded, a look of self-satisfaction fixed on her face. "Then she would act accordingly, just as she does with you! I care for you, I see you as no threat so she does too! It is not commands that matter, it is intention!"

A smile formed across Solas's face as full recognition dawned. "So if you felt enough fear towards something she would wish to protect you and thus do everything in her power to destroy the thing you fear?"

Ellana's grin instantly dropped. Nodding weakly she reached out and stroked the dragons rumbling head. Solas touch a hand to her jawline encouraging her to look at him.

"This changes everything, vhenan," he added with an appreciative smile.

She looked away again. "Yes, it should make the training easier at least." She gazed up at him again, resigned. "But it still doesn't solve the problem of getting her to answer my call in the first place."

This time it was Solas's turn to lament. "No, it does not." Quickly he recovered himself for her sake. "Leave it with me, vhenan. I am certain there must be some solution. Besides, your time would be much better spent here…" He paused, placing a hand on her stomach. "…and on resting."

Ellana let out an angry noise at that, trying to pull away but he kept her turned to him.

"This baby has the worst timing," she remarked, pouting slightly as Solas led her back towards the Eluvian by the shoulders.

He laughed. "Indeed she does."

Ellana glanced away. She appeared to be ruminating on something.

Just as he expected she gazed back at him with a questioning stare, "Solas?"

A habit by now, his eyebrow raised. "Yes?"

"You know how you've been teaching me more of the elvhen language?" she went on, not giving him enough time to respond. "Could we maybe expand that a little bit?"

"To include what?" he asked, a part of him dreading what the answer could possibly be.

Her eyes glinted with curiosity as she walked slightly ahead of him. "Magic," she almost whispered. "Not for me! Well, sort of, I don't want the basic explanations like you told me before and I would want you to teach me like it were for me but obviously it's not…"

"What are you asking me exactly?" he asked, stopping his stride with a look of complete confusion.

Ellana grasped her head in her hands and took a moment to collect her thoughts. "I want to be able to teach our daughter like you would…about magic and walking dreams, all of it. I presume she is likely to inherit at least some of your skills? I want to be able to teach her if you can't."

"If I cannot?" he questioned, expression turning hurt.

Still looking away she let out a sigh. "Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst - one of your philosophies that is horrible in sentiment but undeniably rational. I would not see our daughter suffer if she were left with only her decidedly less brilliant mother…"

"Vhenan, must you be so self-deprecating?" Solas interjected, rolling his eyes. He took her hand again, willing her in to movement. "Your brilliance is different but still unquestionable. Your cynicism however…"

"Cynicism?" she scoffed in reply, pulling him to a stop once again. "We are about to enter in to a war, Solas. Either one of us could die at any moment. Excuse me for trying to prepare just in case the worst happens."

With another roll of his eyes, Solas finally relented, "Fine. If that is what you want then I will gladly teach you." Ellana let out a small, happy squeal before finally following him towards the Eluvian. "I do not know how you intend to remember it all, especially given how it cannot be applied to yourself…"

"I'll write it down," Ellana interrupted dismissively.

"In the Fade? That would be a first," he replied with a doubting chuckle.

Ellana rolled her eyes. "No, afterwards! I can remember it long enough to write it down once I wake up."

Solas let out another doubting laugh as he gestured for her to pass through the mirror first.

"Hey! Don't get cheeky with me! It's not my fault we don't have time for real-world lessons," she added gruffly, ensuring to shove past him on her way to the mirror.

Luckily for him she was no longer looking at him so she could not see the smug smile forming on his face.

"Right…because I am the one who dictates that we must spend all our free time in bed…" he sarcastically added.

She stopped in her tracks mere inches from the mirror. Solas braced himself for the tirade. Within seconds she was as close to him as she could be, tension thick in the air. She fixed her eyes to his and bit down hard on her lower lip.

"Hmmm…you do have a point there, ara sa'lath" she said, savouring every word before passing annoying quickly through the mirror.


	28. Dream of Mine

**A/N – Sorry to interrupt but a quick clarification is needed before we go on. I have changed the in-game romance somewhat – in two ways specifically. First, I added scenes in my imagined version and so, that is also true in this. I think I mentioned an additional scene ages ago (like chapter 4 I think) but there is quite a lot that I created to amuse myself. Not sure what I will include but there will be some.**

 **Second, a factor of it that always bothered me was the timing – all a bit fast for my tastes and not unavoidably given that the majority of what they discuss in the dream sequence relates to things that happened right at the beginning of the game so it could, in theory, be much earlier on. With that in mind, I always changed the timing in my imagined version and thus that is true in this story. The dream sequence in my version occurred while Haven still existed (never bothered with the semantics of precisely when but I was probably going for around the time you properly start doing either the mage or Templar quest) followed later but still in Haven by an added scene that you will get a piece of below. Second in-game scene (the balcony) occurred very shortly after they reached Skyhold and so on. Hopefully that makes some sense.**

 **Second point - We are reaching the depths where I am going to have to start abandoning some of the established lore in favour of my own. Some of these have lore-based justifications and others, not so much. I want the story to go a certain way and to achieve that I have had to make some presumptions and form my own opinions about things that are not explicitly stated and thus I will very likely be proved entirely wrong. This is not that much of an issue now but it will be going forward. I say this just so I can iterate clearly that I know some of this does not tie in with the lore. Hopefully that does not bother anyone and you can just enjoy it for what it is but if it does, I am sorry for that.**

* * *

Solas never looked happier than when he was explaining something. It was thoroughly distracting for Ellana; an adorable sight that made an inexorable warmth rise inside of her. What he was saying was certainly interesting but even still she started to fidget, legs moving uncontrollably against her chest. It was a pleasant feeling, the Fade allowing her the lithe form she had before pregnancy but still unwelcome. She clutched her knees tighter in the hope that he would not notice her lack of attention but by acknowledging it, she just drifted further. Her eyes glazed, vacant smile fixed as she watched him.

"Ellana!"

The sudden change in volume jarred her away from some pleasant thought about the angle of his jaw. She shook her head slightly in surprise as Solas looked on, no longer amused.

"Are you paying attention?" he asked with clear annoyance. "You were the one who wanted to do this and you are not even listening!"

"I was listening!" Ellana interrupted desperately, dropping her knees to her side. "It's just…" she looked away and her cheeks turned rosy "…you're so distracting!"

He stared blankly at her until it dawned. "I am distracting…" he finally repeated, lack of amusement betrayed by a half-smile. "Is that supposed to be some sort of joke?" She looked away, reddening fully. "What could I possibly be doing that is so distracting?"

"Everything! All of it!" she cried in a flustered voice. A full smirk formed across his lips. "That! Stop smiling!"

"Stop…being…happy?" he uttered looking decidedly smug.

An unwelcome shiver ran down her spine. "Oh gods, even smug you turns me on," she lamented.

Solas just laughed. "If you are so… _distracted_ …perhaps we should call it a night?"

"No! I am listening!" she argued desperately.

The smug smile came back. "Is that so? Well, if you _were_ listening then you will have no problem repeating what I just said?"

Her expression dropped. "I…uh…" she struggled as he looked on, amused once again. "…something about emotion and magic...and fuel? You definitely mentioned fuel…"

"Yes. Literally the least you could have taken in beyond nothing but…accurate," he said, sighing as he brushed a hand across his head. "I think we should give up, vhenan, you are evidently not learning anything…"

"No! I'm trying! I will listen, I promise!" she interjected as she rose to her knees.

Thoroughly enjoying her pleading stare, he made her wait a little longer than was really necessary. Finally he pried her hands from his legs and took them in his own.

"Fine but you had better listen," he remarked before releasing her hands and lying back on the grass with a dull thud.

Ellana leaned back on her hands and curled her legs to the side. "I promise."

"As I was saying," he started no longer visible lying back but clearly still annoyed. "Emotion is an essential but often misunderstood component of all magical talent. It is similar to the fuel for a fire in that an amount is essential but the specific amount has to be disciplined - too little and the fire goes out…"

"Like in those that are made Tranquil?" Ellana asked, shuffling herself slowly closer in an attempt to see more of him.

"Yes, to a degree. Too much and the user runs the risk of losing control. That is why so many homes are burned down as a result of enraged young mages accidently using their talents for the first time," he went on.

Ellana could picture the self-satisfied grin he almost definitely wore but still could not see it. She damned her random but unstoppable desire of late as she tried as hard as she could to focus on his actual words.

He kept on going, seemingly oblivious, "The Chantry recognises this to some extent but in their typical way they demand complete control; a goal no free-thinking being can achieve." He let out a long sigh before sitting up. "The reality is actually a lot easier than they make it seem. It is just like any other discipline."

Ellana's brow furrowed. "Well no, it's not really the same, is it? Having that much control over something as natural as emotions is surely far more difficult?"

"Hardly," Solas remarked with a laugh. Her look of mild hurt made his soften. "It is like breathing, vhenan. Something so natural; a part of you that you cannot deny but yet one can still control it. Just as you could take a long breath, you could also will yourself to feel a strong emotion. You do it when you fight, do you not? Force a sense of calm to maintain focus."

"You mean through imagination? Like if I was to think of a time you seriously pissed me off and nothing else?"

Solas's expression dropped. "Not the example I would have used but yes, that is essentially what I mean." He regarded her for a moment before lying back down. "Try it."

"But it won't work for me…I am not a mage," Ellana replied with a doubting stare.

He shrugged against the grass. "You never know."

Still wearing her scepticism, Ellana outstretched a palm. She decided on a suitable memory contrary to what she had proposed – the time she had been happiest. She closed her eyes as she became lost in the memory. Joy flooded her, rising in her chest with uncomfortable ease. She opened her eyes to the sight of an orb of light dancing in her palm and let out a gasp. Solas suspiciously remained on the ground despite her obvious surprise but she was entranced, too much so to notice. The wisp of light danced about her palm and then went out. She let out a dissatisfied whine but as she did she caught sight of another glimmer of light – right where his eyes likely were. Before he knew what was happening she was on top of him, pinning him to the floor.

"That was you!" she yelled. "Here I was thinking I had just discovered some profound magical talent and it was you all along!"

With a smug smile painted on he waited beneath her for the tirade to end adding, "That was for not paying attention."

In response she let out an angry noise. "I was trying to, you twat, but it's not my fault you are so damn enticing! You are the one who made me baby-free with your Fade-Walker ways! What is that supposed to make me think?!"

He laughed. "Maybe if you thought about _that_ a little less you might learn something." Ellana let out an angry scoff. "If the Fade would allow me to mould your focus…"

"Yeah, well, it doesn't without ruining me so you will just have to deal with it," she interrupted.

He smiled up at her. "I would be lying if I said that truly bothers me."

Taken aback her gaze softened and she loosened her pinning grip. "See, that's exactly what I'm talking about," she said bringing a hand to graze his jawline. Solas's eyes widened slightly as her lips drew closer to his. "You are just too…"

He moved his head to the side at the last second and her kiss fell uselessly against his cheek.

"Do I need to remind you what happened last time?" he remarked.

Ellana sat back up. "No, you don't." She giggled mercilessly. "That desire demon got really in to it." Solas glared at her from below. "And watching you get rid of it was hilarious."

"It was not!" he contended huffily.

"It was. In my personal opinion you should deal with all demons naked but who am I to…"

To her surprise he kissed her, cutting her off mid-sentence. Even once he had pulled away the intensity of it left her speechless.

"That was a private moment between you and me and I would hope it remains so irrespective of how 'hilarious' you found it," he said sternly. "This is the Fade, vhenan; this is where _I_ am in control so you are going to be a good girl…" Ellana nodded along hopefully, loving where this was going. "…and wake up."

Just like that she was unpleasantly torn from the dream. Realising what had happened she let out groan of disappointment and shoved Solas's arm at her side.

"You are such a bore!" she whined, shoving him again as he woke.

"Sometimes I have to be," he added, rolling on his side to face her. "I prefer the real you anyway."

"I'm too big out here! I'm never comfortable in the real world!" she whined. She looked up from her position lying back on the pillows but could no longer see him. "Solas, where have…" The feeling of a warm hand against her inner thigh cut her off with a surprised gasp.

"I relish a challenge," he said, now a voice beneath the covers.

* * *

Ellana hurt all over. They had been standing around going over the plans for the forthcoming battle for less than an hour but for her, it felt like an eternity. In terms of execution it all seemed simple enough but success was another matter entirely. To win they were relying on Dhaveira and Ellana had made little progress on that front. Worse even than that, current estimates suggested they were going to be outnumbered to the point of absurdity and thus the expressions around the table were unsurprisingly grave.

"Are we all clear?" Solas finished, the only one who appeared at all confident.

Each individual nodded in turn. When it came to Ellana she only just managed to join the tradition, worry and physical pain making a haze of the world around her. With little more than a couple of weeks to go until the date they were to meet on the battlefield she had already heard the plan so many times she had lost count. It was brilliant, as she had come to expect, but it still amazed her that Solas never seemed to tire of discussing it. Even more so, given that he devised it before they had even met with the Inquisition.

"Then with that understood we all have work to do," Solas continued, shooting her a worried glance. "Any queries refer to your designated Commander."

He did not wait for anything further, turning away and taking Ellana by the arm. He sat her down in his office as their people filed out.

"You seem so sure about this," she remarked quietly, not wanting to show any weakness to the others.

"It does not matter if it is one man or ten thousand they are still just men," he replied, the ghost of a smile forming slowly.

"One man is far more easily influenced than thousands, Solas," she added.

"Not if that one man is brave but put brave men amongst cowards and even they can be influenced."

He was right but even still she remained sceptical. "And what if the majority are brave? Your plan rests on the presumption that most people are cowards or at the very least fools…"

"And they are, hence the plan," he retorted in a slightly annoyed tone. Coming to her side his expression softened. "Even if the core principle fails, we can still out-manoeuvre them. Fear not, vhenan, I would never allow any harm to come to you."

"It's not myself I am concerned for," she said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. She let out a groan as a spasm ran through her back. Mercifully no one other than Solas remained to see her pain. "In my entire life I have never been this uncomfortable!"

"I know, vhenan," he comforted. "You are fit to burst. Will I fetch Mirwen?"

"What is she going to do? Talk the baby in to coming out?" Ellana replied with misplaced anger. "She already told me there is nothing to do but wait." She rose carefully from the chair. "It doesn't matter anyway; I need to go and see Dhaveira."

Solas grabbed her arm as gently as was possible. "You are not going anywhere."

"Everything rests on this, Solas!"

"I do not care," he interrupted sternly. "My first concern is you and at this time I will not allow you to undertake anything more than rest."

Her face turned red with anger. " _Allow_ me?!"

"That is what I said," he replied, not giving an inch. Leading her by the arm in to the bedroom he went on, "You know perfectly well that you will not make it that far alone so you do not have a choice." Conceding his point she stopped resisting and allowed herself to be led to the bedside. "Now lie down and rest. If you would ask anything of me I will gladly oblige but understand that you are not leaving this tower until you are able."

"I am perfectly able!" she tried but the look he gave her quickly put a stop to any more argument. She sat down reluctantly on the bed.

"Good," he said, relief flashing briefly over his features. "Would you like me to draw you a bath?"

A hesitant smile formed across her lips. "Would you have time? You have so much to do and I…"

"Consider it done," he interrupted, moving straight in to action with his own smile. "But you are not to move from that spot until it is, do you hear me?"

"I hear you," she mumbled as she pushed herself back on the bed and arranged the pillows behind her. With the sound of splashing water in the background a yawn escaped her. "Thank you, my love."

He emerged from the adjoining room replying, "Knowing that you are well is thanks enough…" but tapered off at the sight of her fast asleep.

* * *

 _Ellana was aware that she was dreaming and with Solas nowhere to be seen, it was a first. The area around her was barren but familiar and a green tinge seemed to cover everything, the mark of the Fade. In front of her lay the only distinguishing feature - a small lake. She willed herself to move but no matter how hard she tried her legs ignored her every attempt. As if the dream could sense her futile efforts, a figure on the opposite side of the lake suddenly appeared out of nothing. She peered across and recognised it as Solas seated on the ground and staring in to the waters. She tried with everything she had to call out to him but her body remained ever silent. Black liquid rose up from the lake but even as it reached out to pull him in, he remained unaware. Panic rose within her as she fought fruitlessly to cry out and warn him. As the darkness seemed poised to drag him into the depths, screams sounded in her ears so loud that she could do nothing but cower._

Seconds later she woke up in a cold sweat. Dark as it was, the familiar sight of their shared room still brought her some comfort. Reaching out in to the bed beside her she felt the reassuring warmth of Solas sleeping next to her. She let out a sigh of relief but it was short-lived as a dull pain rippled through her. She grasped on to the sheets and cried out. As the pain subsided she finally felt the wetness beneath her, clearly more than just sweat, and suddenly it dawned.

"Solas!" she shouted out in a panicked voice.

But it was not loudly enough; he barely even stirred. She sat up and turned to shake him. That at least earned a dissatisfied groan.

"Solas, you better wake up or I am going to make you regret it!" she yelled as she shook him more vigorously.

He swore loudly in his mother tongue before turning fully to face her with eyes still scrunched shut in denial. "I am awake! What could be so important that…?!"

"I think the baby is coming!" Ellana interrupted but before she could explain another pain took over.

His eyes snapped open. "What?!"

No reply came other than pained moans. With a flick of his wrist a small blue flame erupted in the air to cast light on the room. He took a moment in his sleepy haze to study Ellana's wriggling form and the clearly soaked sheets.

"Solas?" Ellana asked uselessly, the pain finally having abated once again. His face was completely drained of colour, eyes wide but eventually he seemed to notice her speaking.

"I should get Mirwen and the girl," he finally stated, getting up from the bed in a panicked rush.

"Solas, wait!" Ellana called after him.

He had left the room in a matter of seconds but the sound of his racing feet came to a sudden halt and his ashen face appeared back in the doorway just as quickly as it had left. Ellana pointed in his direction as he gazed at her, uncertain.

"Clothes!" she prompted with a smirk.

* * *

Once he had dressed, Solas had rudely woken both Mirwen and Firanni. The commotion woke others and by the time they had assembled in the tower he could hear the mutterings of a crowd forming down below. No doubt the rumour mill was working to keep them informed but either way he did not care. All he cared about was Ellana. Mirwen looked on as he paced about the office waiting on a verdict. At long last Firanni emerged from the bedroom still looking sleepy but undeniably pleased. Abandoning his normally composed appearance, Solas rushed to meet her.

"It is time!" she remarked with a hint of excitement. "From what I could feel the baby is the right way round so it should be a smooth birth…"

"Good…good," he muttered before moving to pass her in to the bedroom.

To his surprise, the girl stopped him with a hand, "Our clan's traditions dictate that the birthing room is no place for a man…"

An amused look overcame his features but the girl kept stern. He glanced back at Mirwen with disbelief.

"Your traditions mean little to me, girl," he replied derisively, staring down at her hand still unwisely touching him. "I _will_ be by her side when our child is born but you are welcome to try and stop me if that is your desire."

Firanni removed her hand and he pushed past her with ease. Mirwen let out a groan and started over but Firanni was relentless.

"I will not lend my aid to someone who abandons tradition so readily," she replied.

Solas came to an immediate stop.

"As is your right," he began, rounding back to her with a cold stare. "But I must warn you, if anything were to happen to her or my child as a result of your absence… Well, you can imagine how I might …"

Mirwen reached them before he could finish. "Firanni will remain and lend her aid in whatever way she can," she said, planting a hand firmly on the back of her First's neck.

Solas took a step to the side so the Keeper could lead the girl through the doorway. To his amusement he could hear the old woman muttering quiet reprimands as they went. Face whiter than he had ever seen it, Ellana lay on the bed with a worried look. Clearly she had realised they were having some sort of issue but luckily for him she must not have heard it. He knelt at her side and eagerly she took his hand in hers.

"All is well?" she asked weakly.

Up close he could see she already looked exhausted, droplets of sweat falling readily from her brow.

"All is well, ma vhenan," he uttered quietly just as Firanni joined them. Mirwen's dressing-down must have worked because she no longer looked peeved. Solas turned back to Ellana. "How about you?"

"Hurts like a bitch but I'm surviving," she replied, still managing a weak smile. Her expression quickly turned worried. "They said it's going to get worse..."

"I know, vhenan," he interjected apologetically. "But I am here for you. Whether you are crushing my hand, swearing at me or just need reassurance, I am here."

From the end of the bed Firanni let out a quiet scoff but no one other than Mirwen paid her any mind.

"Thank you, my love," Ellana whispered.

The two gazed at one another until Ellana's face contorted in to one of pain. She clutched at his hand but he was too concerned about her to notice the hurt. In the periphery of his awareness he could hear their two attendants arguing.

"It is too dark, I cannot work to my best under these conditions," he heard Firanni complain.

"You will do as you are told," Mirwen stated in response.

The pain having lessened Ellana released his hand from her grip, panting from the effort. Solas tore his attention from her to take in the room. To give the girl her due it was the middle of the night and light was hard to come by. He turned back to Ellana.

"I will be right back," he said, relinquishing her hand to the bed.

Using his now free hand to steady himself he rose from the bedside to open the curtains. With only the moon in the night sky the act alone offered little help. From the doorway to the balcony he gestured, eyes a glow, and out of nothing veil fire burst forth. It built and built, hanging like a sun over the balcony, light pouring in to the room and across the valley. Once the illumination had reached even the gasping crowd gathered below he stopped and wandered casually back to his place at the bedside. Both Mirwen and Ellana gazed at him with amusement.

"Will that suffice?" he asked earning a dumbfounded nod from Firanni.

"Show off," Ellana remarked with a proud but tired smirk.

* * *

Ellana had of course heard babies cry before but never had it made her feel like this. Long ago her mother had warned her that there was nothing in this world that could come close to having a child but, too young and headstrong, she had just dismissed it as typical parent talk. How wrong she had been. The moment she heard her daughter cry out for the first time something shifted inside of her. It no longer mattered that she was exhausted, in pain and struggling. Nothing mattered other than the tiny creature making that cry. All too quickly they took her from her. She could not fathom that it was only to give her a clean; she just knew she was gone. It was Solas that brought her back, a tiny bundle in his arms. Ellana did not know it but at that moment she was crying along with her daughter. Aware of nothing but the bundle, she could not see the fear in her lover's eyes as he placed it in to her arms. It cried out, skin red and wrinkled; a tuft of silver hair tickling against Ellana's chin.

"Hey…" she whispered, her heart rising in her chest. "Hey, little one. It's alright…" Gently she ran her thumb across the tiny thing's head, feeling the soft, wrinkled skin beneath. "Mummy's here."

The cries became less frequent, more controlled as Ellana kept stroking her head. The baby opened her eyes and for the first time Ellana gazed down in to them, grey like hers, knowing that her mother had spoken the absolute truth.

* * *

"She has your eyes," Solas commented, observing the now quiet baby cradled in her Mother's arms.

Lying against his chest Ellana lifted a hand, fluttering her fingers and bringing the baby's focus to her. In the morning light she could see every detail including the flecks amongst the grey.

"Then what is that? Lilac?" she questioned with a gesture to the child. She brought her palm up over her shoulder to touch his cheek. "That is not me, my love."

"Parts of us both then," he conceded with a smile that she could feel beneath her fingers. He chuckled. "She certainly has your hair."

Ellana turned up to him with a smirk. "No doubt about that, is there?"

Before she could laugh he planted a kiss on her lips. She lay back against him, stroking the baby's silver hair as she had been for hours. Over the time sounds had come from outside the room but both had been much too distracted to pay them any mind. Unfortunately it was inevitable that they would have to face the world eventually.

A disgruntled shout broke the blissful silence, "For fucks sake it's been four fucking hours! It's a baby! How long do they need!"

The door opened slightly but was quickly closed again from the other side. Angry muttering followed. Ellana let out a long sigh.

"Your public is waiting," Solas remarked with a hint of amusement.

Ignoring his mocking she fluttered her fingers again. "It's not me they're here to see, is it?" she replied focused on the baby.

Carefully Solas dislodged himself from behind her and got up. He stopped abruptly at the side of the bed and knelt down to touch the child's hand, too fixated to leave entirely.

"Can we come in yet?" asked Lis's quieter voice from beyond the door. "I'm not sure we can keep Shivra out here for much longer…"

Ellana's eyes met Solas's and he nodded.

"Yes, come on in!" Ellana exclaimed excitedly.

Commotion erupted beyond the door and Solas rose to his feet at last.

"I'll give you a minute," he said with a somewhat forlorn expression.

He got out of the way just in time as her friends careened through the door. Not unlike if she were something dangerous they stopped a distance away from the baby, all turning surprisingly hesitant. They gathered at Ellana's side just as Solas wandered off in to one of the adjoining rooms. Lis, closest to the front, let out a small gasp.

"Ellana, she is beautiful," she uttered.

Lori shared in her awe. "Look how cute!" she purred to Lis.

Shivra jostled to the front of the pack.

"She's so wrinkly!" she remarked, smiling happily until Lis elbowed her in the ribs. "Ow! What was that for?!"

"She is not wrinkly, she's gorgeous," Lis replied in a breathy tone. She turned her full attention to the little one. "Aren't you just beautiful? Yes you are!"

"She is, isn't she?" Ellana replied, unable to wipe the smile from her face. "Would you like to hold her?"

Lis looked up at her with sudden nerves. "I… Hold her?" Ellana nodded reassuringly. "I…I would love to."

Ellana lifted the baby off her chest and reached her out towards her apprehensive friend. Behind them, Ellana could see a not so subtle Solas keeping an eye on everything from the doorway.

"Place her against your arm, like this," Ellana instructed as she handed her daughter over. It was strange how unnatural it felt. "Yes, make sure you are supporting her. See? You're a natural!"

Lis jumped as the baby cradled in her arms let out a tiny noise. She looked up at Ellana with worry but was met by a reassuring grin. She gazed down at the little one and slowly tears welled in her eyes. Even Shivra stayed silent.

"She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," Lis uttered.

Droplets started to fall from her eyes, too weighty to bear. Ellana reached out and touched her arm knowing that Lis cried not for Ellana's child but in mourning of her own.

"I'm going to need some help to look after her. She's going to need her Aunty Lis when Mummy and Daddy can't be around," Ellana said quietly. Lis met her with a disbelieving stare. "Do you think you could help me?"

Lis gazed back down at the child and then back up at Ellana. Finally she nodded, tears left as only stains upon her cheeks. In the background Solas was by the door again smiling proudly at Ellana.

Her friends did not stay long after that. Each one took a turn holding the child, even Shivra but after all the glad tidings were said they all finally filed out one after another. Solas practically skipped back in to the room as they departed, sitting down on the bedside eagerly. Ellana doubted the baby could actually recognise him but it certainly seemed like she did, letting out a soft sound as he neared.

"Yes, my darling, that's your Daddy," Ellana murmured. Carefully she placed the tiny girl in his arms. She looked in to Solas's downturned eyes. "Your Father."

Solas stared down at the baby in silence.

"Lis had a child, didn't she?" he finally asked as he kept his forlorn look perpetually down.

Ellana was slightly taken aback but nonetheless impressed by his perception. She considered for a moment whether it was appropriate to share another's dearly kept secrets.

"Yes…well…more the promise of one," she started carefully. "But the chance to meet her child was taken from her."

Solas kept his gaze fixed on their little one, dozing off in his arms but for the briefest of seconds' unbridled rage flashed across his expression.

"That is horrifying," he finally uttered. He turned to Ellana. "It cannot diminish her loss but, if it would help in any way, I would have no objection to her spending as much time as she wishes with our little one." He turned back to the baby, brow furrowed.

"I'm sure she would appreciate that," Ellana replied softly, love for him feeling like it may burst free from her chest. She moved closer on the bed, arms wrapped around his neck from behind. "What about you? Is your resolve holding up?"

A light laugh escaped him. "Honestly, I do not know. It is just so…"

"Overwhelming?" Ellana interrupted with a smile.

"Indeed." He kissed her on the cheek before turning his attention back down to their sleeping daughter. "What I do know is that there is nothing I would not give for her. What that means for…well…for all of this, I could not tell you. I want her to have everything and lose nothing…"

"Even if that means you have to lose everything?" she interjected.

He turned to her, look utterly resolved. "Yes. There is nothing I would not give."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it," she replied, breaking eye contact. "I could not bear the thought of anything happening to her."

He looked down on her again, "I agree…"

"So, promise me…" Ellana interrupted, hand forcing his chin to the side and his eyes to her. "Promise me you will not let anything happen to her, no matter what may come."

Beneath her determined gaze something in his eyes faltered. A glint of sadness formed just as he looked away.

"I promise you, vhenan."

* * *

"Well now you're just being unreasonable," Ellana uttered in exasperation as her baby kicked out yet again. "How am I supposed to dress you when you're being like that?" As though replying, the baby let out a loud grunt. "Fine, if that's the way you want to be then Daddy will just have to try, won't he?"

Holding the baby up against her shoulder she made her way in to the office.

"Still fighting?" Solas asked, not looking up from his desk.

"Like a damn warrior," she replied. Handing the little one over her eyes fell on two familiar items on his desk. "Are those sending crystals?"

In Solas's arms the baby stopped struggling entirely and he dressed her with ease. Finally he looked up at Ellana with a self-satisfied smile.

"Yes, they are. You have knowledge of them?" he replied sounding somewhat surprised.

"Some, I guess…" She trailed off as Solas started playing with the baby, a far too adorable sight to ignore. Perching on the desk to his side she joined in. "When Dorian left for Tevinter he gave me one so we could always reach one another."

He stopped his games all too suddenly. "And when you departed? What happened to it then?"

"I left it behind with everything else. It is probably still there I imagine," she replied, undeniably hurt by the reminder. "Anyway, that's not the point; why do you have them?"

"Is it not obvious? They are a means to project sound over great distances and thus a perfect solution to our dragon calling problem. Although a useless one if your theory proves correct."

"Okay…that would make sense if we were two people but how exactly are you going to teach a dragon how to use a sending crystal?"

"I am not. She would have to be constantly using it and thus capable of hearing you whenever you call," he replied with evident frustration. "However, none of this matters unless I can manipulate them to project at least some level of emotion as, by your estimations, it will not work without it…"

"You agree with my theory?" Ellana interrupted disbelievingly.

His brow furrowed. "Yes? You expected otherwise?" Ellana rolled her eyes. "While I have not tested it personally you do spend a rather large amount of time with the beast; I would not presume to suggest you do not know what you are talking about…"

She laughed. "Uh-huh…because you _never_ presume?"

"I think your mother is trying to imply something, little one," he grumbled to the baby. He met Ellana's glare with a smile. "Any further on a name? I am running out of terms of endearment that I have not already used to excess."

"No further whatsoever," she replied with a groan of frustration. "It's bloody hard. How do you come up with a name that says 'this person is the thing I have always been dreaming of but never knew I needed'…"

"Emmaera…" Solas whispered more to himself than anything.

Ellana's eyes shot up. "What did you just say? Emmaera?" She paced to his side and stared at the little girl. "Em-ae-ra," she sounded out once again. "You know…I actually like it!" She took her from him, jiggling her in her arms. "Emmaera… Little Emi! I actually like it! What do you think?"

"As long as you are happy and it is something I am willing to shout when she runs off, I am content," he replied, tiredness showing.

"Emmaera…" she murmured once again, barely listening. Finally registering the details of what he had said she turned to him wide-eyed. "She is five days old and you're already thinking about her running off?!"

"She is _your_ daughter, vhenan, she is bound to give us trouble," Solas replied with a smirk.

She advanced on him, unamused, and hit a playful slap across his shoulder. Before she could land a second he grabbed her in his arms and she struggled jokingly against him.

"That does nothing but prove my point," he went on with a laugh. Finally she stopped struggling and he relinquished his grip. "We should get going."

"You don't have to come with us, you know?" she replied with a hint of a whine. "We will be fine."

"You are introducing my baby daughter to a monstrous beast…" Ellana let out a doubting snort. "…a tame one maybe but a beast nonetheless. I am entirely unwilling to take the risk."

She kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Normally I would be annoyed at your lack of trust but the protective father thing you're doing…adorable and hot at the same time."

Solas winced. "Please can we not discuss such matters in front of our daughter…?"

"Ha! If it were not for those 'matters' she would not even be here!" she retorted, jostling him towards the door.

"A valid point but not one she needs to understand until she is much, much, _much_ older."

Outside the tower her friends eagerly awaited their arrival and with them in tow they made quick progress to the Eluvian. Ellana knew that they were no doubt there for the sole purpose of seeing off the public but she thought it unnecessary. In all honesty she loved the adoration, well aware that it was no longer focused on her, and basked in the pride that it brought. Solas, however, did not seem to share in her contentment; pride beaten for once by the desire to protect.

Once they had passed through the mirror at last her friends hung back, a tell-tale shriek shaking the rocks around them. Ellana reached out for Solas's hand, instantly feeling his tension but before she could offer words of reassurance a massive blur of ivory came barrelling at them. Solas shook free of her hand and strode out to meet it. Dust rose around the beast as she came to an abrupt stop inches from his outstretched palm and let out a disgruntled hiss.

"Calm yourself, great one, lest your journey end here," Solas stated, absurdly tiny in comparison but entirely unwavering in his manner.

In response, the dragon let out a gentle shriek, defiant but conceding nonetheless. He stroked her nose softly and whatever annoyance she had evaporated as if it had never existed. Ellana took an apprehensive step forward.

"Dhaveira," she said as confidently as she could muster. At the mere suggestion of her voice, the dragon looked up to sound another shriek with tendrils outstretched in greeting. "I have brought you someone…someone who would like to meet you…"

Ellana made her way over as the baby stirred in her arms, the shrieking too loud to sleep through.

"Calmly," Solas prompted, keeping a hand fixed firmly to the side of the dragon's head. "Calmly…"

Both parents held their breath as the beast came forward. Monumental head within inches, the hot air leaving and entering her nostrils blew Ellana's hair back and forward rhythmically. The baby let out a small cry but the dragon only looked on in confusion, head cocking to one side. As another cry followed, more resounding than the last, Dhaveira emitted a low rumble and her eyes glinted with knowing. Predictably given what she was faced with, Emmaera started to cry and her father tensed up even more. Dhaveira's head turned from one side to the next, processing the sound as well as she could until finally sounding a loud trill. The crying stopped briefly before starting up again. A smile formed on Ellana's lips.

"This is amazing…" she whispered to herself.

The dragon let out another trill and looked on expectantly but the baby kept up the wailing, only opening her eyes just enough to look. Not willing to give up so easily, Dhaveira let out another determined shriek before raising her head and releasing the faintest puff of pale blue fire. Grey eyes twinkling in awe, Emmaera instantly fell silent. She squealed as the beast puffed out more. Ellana felt a wonderful weight of emotion press against her chest.

"Success?" came a shout from behind them.

Ellana turned to look just as Shivra and Lis reached them. Too focused on the baby the dragon only offered the slightest of trills in greeting before puffing out yet more pretty fire.

"Isn't she just the cutest little thing?" Lis asked the beast in a babying voice.

The beast let out a quiet rumble but unfortunately, the peace ended there. So quickly that no one saw it coming, the dragon raised her head, eyes fixed to the two remaining friends lagging behind. With surprising speed she snaked in between Ellana and them, her roar shaking the ground beneath them. Miris bravely ran forward between the beast and Lori, the apparent source of her aggression, but she need not have put herself at risk. Solas, eyes glowing, was already on the move.

"Stop!" he roared just as a bolt of lightning struck the ground inches from the beast's hide. She wisely recoiled, hissing at him as he neared. "Leave, now!"

She did as she was bid without question, snaking quickly away and up the cliffside. A dissatisfied whine emanated from her as she remained watching intently.

"I am so sorry!" Ellana shouted, running forward to comfort her friend. "She doesn't know you and I didn't think…"

Shivra came to stand beside the still tensed Solas. "Funny…" she remarked quietly. "She didn't know me when I met her but all she did was make that trilling noise…like a fucking cat…"

"Funny indeed…" he pondered in response.

Ellana was still apologising profusely ahead of them, unable to hear.

"So _now_ you'll listen!" Shivra started angrily, clearly hurt. "What am I going to have to do? Wander about with a dragon to get you to…"

"No, what you are going to do is never let that girl out of your sight. I do not care how you do it; convince her she is your friend; do whatever but nothing she does is to go beneath your notice, do you hear me?" Solas interjected, fixing her with a stern stare.

Surprise flitted across her eyes to be replaced by similar seriousness. "Loud and clear."

* * *

Fatherhood had come surprising easily to Solas. The second he laid eyes on his daughter his focus had changed, so much so that everything he did for her, he did without hesitation. Fitting it in around work had also been far simpler than he had expected; he quite simply did not. If either of his girls needed him then work just had to follow him to them, others be damned. His ability to function on little sleep also helped immeasurably as she still cried for much of the night. She seemed to quiet more easily with him so even as the exhaustion built he still cherished their nights. It was a love like any other but still markedly different. Just like her mother, she was his but he had not had to earn it like he had with Ellana. Little Emmaera was his both in name and by instinct; a fact few actions could ever change. Even still his resolve had only grown. He had meant every word of what he had said to Ellana; only pausing at the thought she might hate him for it in the end. He would give his daughter everything no matter the cost.

Much of the morning had passed sadly without his two loves. The tower was unpleasantly quiet in their absence and he took the first opportunity he could find to seek them out. Groups of elves, eager to catch a glimpse of the new arrival, marked the way to them. At the sight of him they gazed with increased reverence, an act he detested but ultimately blamed only on himself. The veil-fire sun had been an ill-considered decision in hind-sight. He powered through them until he came upon the familiar encampment of her team. In the centre, Ellana loudly fought off both Lori and Miris at once. Even with such pressure she still seemed dissatisfied. He could not help but admire her fighting so fiercely with the birthing pain she no doubt still felt. An amused Shivra flitted about near the fighting, watching eagerly. Lis sat a comfortable distance away, the only one still, with Emmaera cradled in her arms.

"Thought you probably wouldn't be far behind," Lis uttered quietly, not taking her eyes off the bundle she held.

A warm smile formed on his face as he sat down next to her. He reached out a hand to his daughter and she greeted him with a happy squeal. In the distance, Ellana stopped fighting and looked over. Miris took her opening and unceremoniously hit her across the back and an angry shout followed.

"Yes, that's your Daddy," Lis babied. She turned to Solas with a smile. "You want her?" He replied with a nod and she carefully handed her over. "We may have our issues but damn do you make cute children…"

Solas looked up at her, slightly taken aback. "Nothing to do with me; she has her mother's looks," he replied with a dismissive gesture. His focus returned entirely to his child as Lis watched him with a warm smile. Feeling uncomfortable beneath her stare he looked up at her again. "What?"

Lis turned away, complexion noticeably rosy. "I dunno… Understanding it for the first time, I guess?" He met her with a confused look. "You and Ellana. Never got it before but the more I see you with little Emi…finally it's making some sense."

He gazed down at his daughter, unsure what to make of that statement. Emmaera grabbed at his finger, holding it tight.

"I dunno, it was probably a bit of jealousy on my part if I'm honest," Lis went on. "She was like this entirely different person for so long, someone I thought I knew and then you come along and suddenly it's like I barely knew her at all…"

"What was she like?" Solas asked, finally looking up. "Before…when you first knew her?"

"Thought way too much and felt far too little. It's like she was wandering; searching for the next thing that could make her feel something, anything. Once she found it it was like she was awake for the first time," Lis explained in a matter-of-fact tone. "But it never lasted and then on she went; always chasing the next thing that might make her feel alive again."

Emmaera breathed quietly in his arms, falling further in to sleep with each exhale. With a heavy heart he stroked her hair, remaining silent.

"You can relate, I'm sure," Lis started up again taking care with her words. "From what I have heard you were much the same."

An unexpected chuckle escaped him. "That is not even accurate. At no point did I think anything could ever fill the hole Ellana left behind…" He trailed off as a thought suddenly dawned. "Oh Shivra, you foolish girl. If she keeps sharing her pillow talk with Varden then I will be forced to share what I know with Ellana and I think that is the last thing she would want…"

"Quite," Lis replied, smirking with shared amusement. "She would be relentless!"

"She always is," Solas uttered quietly as the subject of his affections finally gave up her fighting to make her way over to them. He handed the baby back to Lis. "An impressive display, vhenan, but your defensive capabilities against magic-users are still sorely lacking…"

The embrace Ellana was about to give him turned abruptly in to a shot to the ribs. "How dare you!" she chastised. "My technique is not lacking!"

"Maybe not against a mage like Miris," he replied with a wince of pain. "But against a pure magic user? I saw several openings that could have easily led to your end." He turned to Miris with an apologetic look. "No offense."

"None taken," she replied with a dismissive nod.

An undeniable hint of angry red crept in to Ellana's pale skin. "Well she isn't a pure magic user so piss off! If I was up against one then I would alter my strategy..."

"Would you? I have seen nothing to prove that," Solas interjected sternly. "The Inquisition may have a shortage of skilled mages but I can assure you the Imperium does not. You will have to learn before long…" All Ellana's friends took a wise step back readying themselves for the inevitable tirade.

"I do not need to learn, you twat, I am well versed in fighting mages!" she shouted back.

"Then prove it…"

All the steam that had fired up Ellana evaporated instantly as his words lingered uncomfortably in the air.

"Awesome! The Dread Wolf versus the She-Wolf! My money's on him," Shivra exclaimed hopping excitedly from one foot to the other.

"No way!" Ellana interrupted angrily. "I can't fight you!"

"Why not? I would allow no harm to come to you, vhenan, you know that," he vehemently replied. A smirk formed on his lips. "What is it? Are you scared you will lose?"

Ellana gazed at him disbelievingly. "Not scared, certain; I am certain I will lose!"

"You can still learn from the fights you do not win," he argued, already moving in to position. Seeing her enduring reluctance he let out a frustrated sigh. "You intend to stand with me to topple the Imperium, do you not? Face up to the greatest mages of this world?" She nodded. "Then you must prove to me that you can hold your weight, vhenan, and I am the only suitable candidate so – to use your words - 'bring it on.'"

* * *

Even if he went easy on her there was no way she was going to win, Ellana knew that much, but she was not about to just give up.

"Fine. If that's what you want then give me your best shot," she defiantly replied.

He laughed. "My best shot?! No, I would rather not destroy my home, thank you very much," he added, voice thick with foolish pride.

His smugness did nothing to lessen her boldness, just as he no doubt hoped. His eyes glowed briefly and a hue came over her skin to match their colour.

"A barrier," he explained. "To keep you nice and safe."

"No such luck for you," Ellana sneered.

"Ooo! She's mad," Shivra remarked excitedly as she thudded down next to Lis. "This is going to be good!"

Ellana came to a stop a distance away from him before pacing back and forth like a caged animal ready to pounce.

"Ready for your first lesson?" he asked still wearing his unbearably smug smile.

"Bring it on."

Scarcely letting her finish, he threw out his first spell followed by several others. She dodged them expertly.

"Projectiles, the crutch of all mages," he remarked lazily. "We use them to create and maintain distance, our greatest ally."

He sent out several more as he spoke and each time she dodged successfully. Every so often she managed to dodge forward, gaining ground slowly but surely.

"A skilled fighter knows this and thus works to close the gap with every passing moment; just like you are doing right now," he went on.

Constantly changing his rhythm, the projectiles now came in flurries of varying forms and severity but somehow she dodged them.

Still he kept going, "Against a poor mage, defeat is only a matter of patience…" Dodging one final icicle brought her within inches of him. "…but any mage worth his salt ensures they are dangerous at any distance."

The air crackled around them and Ellana knew instantly what was coming. She dodged back again just in time as the air in front of her ignited. She could no longer see him through the flames but luckily he suffered the same hindrance. She flitted around at the edge of danger, hoping once it cleared she would be behind him. He would need more time to recover from that one and she intended to take full advantage. The second she saw his shadow, she lunged but he was already gone, propelled out of reach on a sheet of ice.

"And a good mage always ensures they have the means to reform the crucial distance," he remarked before casually sending out yet more projectiles. "This way I change the game in to one where my patience wins the day."

Ellana kept on dodging just as she had before, slowly gaining ground. At long last she was within inches but, once again, he propelled himself away before she could strike. Distance regained, yet again, he sent out yet more projectiles. He was completely dominating her but he no longer wore even a hint of smugness or his usually happy explaining demeanour. Instead, he appeared stone-faced and serious in his role.

"With each repeat of the cycle you will tire and a mistake becomes inevitable. All I must do is wait for my opening," he instructed.

Just as he predicted, no matter how hard she tried the cycle kept on repeating and Ellana could feel herself starting to tire. There were a couple of occasions where she very nearly got him but every time he emerged the victor. On one such occasion, a swipe she sent out at the last second very nearly hitting him, he propelled himself back one final time.

"The problem comes if I lose patience as many mages, too spirited and thus prone to frustration, often do," Solas went on as she neared. She was still far off striking distance but she could feel the air already building and knew this time it was going to be different. "Most mages consider themselves beneath such tactics and thus end up taking out opponents with one big, flashy bang. The dreaded area-of-effect spell; that which leaves no other option than to run…"

Ellana knew a good idea when she heard one. Spinning around to the side just in case, she turned on her heels and ran back towards her friends.

"Fucking hell!" Shivra gasped in the distance as hot air beat against Ellana's back and the sound of an explosion, miniature by Solas's standards, brought wringing to her ears.

She turned back just in time to see the remnants of it sinking away in to smoke. With the ground still burning she caught a glimpse of a shadow beyond and just like that, she made her decision. She broke in to a run again, this time towards the smoke and jumped straight in to the flames. Her false arm skilfully took the brunt of the flames as she flipped on it but once she landed the heat licked at the rest of her body. She knew that if not for his barrier she would be in pain but that alone would not have been enough to dissuade her. With the air still thick with smoke, Solas only noticed she was there at the last second. Before he could react her leg met the back of his knees and he came crashing down to the ground. She was on top of him, pinning him to the ground long before he recovered from the fall. A proud but satisfyingly surprised smile formed across his lips.

"Well played," he remarked, eyes glowing briefly to dissipate the flames.

"Says the man who just got beaten by his little lady," she teased, still embedded on top of him.

"It was not real," he whined, forcing himself up in to a sitting position and taking her with him. "If it had been real you would have suffered some severe burns."

"I may have been somewhat singed but I still would have emerged the victor and that's what matters," she said, face inches from his.

"Right… Because I would have just lay here and let you kill me?" he sarcastically added.

"Oh shut up! You may have been going easy on me but I still beat you and judging by your little face…" She playfully squeezed his cheeks between her fingers. "…you were not expecting that!"

Hands pressed to her back, he pulled her in for a long, deep kiss. "You are going to be intolerable about this, aren't you?"

"Maybe for a little while…" she replied, stroking his cheek before kissing him again.

The smoke was clearing now but they failed to notice they were no longer alone.

"Um…do you need a minute?" Miris asked sheepishly.

Ellana practically jumped away from him at the sound of her voice. Looking around she reddened as she saw not only her friends but also a rather large crowd of elves watching them eagerly. Solas chuckled beneath her. With a hand to her jaw he forced her to look at only him.

"I certainly do," he said before pulling her in again.

Once the intensity of the kiss was over, Ellana bit her lip and took a long breathy, exhale. "Okay!" she exclaimed, suddenly rising from the ground and pulling him up too by the hand. "It's been lovely, everyone but we have to go!" She no longer cared about the crowd or anyone else but him for that matter, ushering Solas away as quickly as he would go. "We have stuff to do…important battle plans and uh…stuff!"

Solas slowed to a stop and even pulling at his hand, she could not get him to move. She turned to him in annoyance.

"I think you have forgotten something," he prompted. She met him with the blankest of stares. He gestured back towards the crowd. "Our child, vhenan?"

"Oh crap!" she angrily exclaimed before marching back towards the crowd.

* * *

 _Ellana played her part just as she remembered. Music sounded somewhere off in the distance and despite her best attempts to resist she was slightly tipsy. Snow fell hard on the make-shift streets of Haven and she struggled in her inebriated state to stay upright on the uneven ground. At last she came to her destination, certain she would find him here. She had not been surprised by his absence at the celebrations. His proficiency for everything social had been unexpected to say the least but in spite of it he still seemed to shy away from others whenever possible. Not from her though; that too had been unexpected. She had thought him to be a mere distraction, suitable for a bit of teasing and nothing more but he had surprised her yet again. The dreaming kiss played heavily on her mind even now. Her pride still stung as she waited patiently for him to make a decision. Perhaps that was why she was there now, hoping that she could make it for him. At least that was what the drink was telling her._

 _He sat at his desk absorbed in something as he always was. Nervous, she wanted to avoid being the first one to speak. With a flick of her foot she kicked out to make a small but very deliberate noise that caught his attention just as she had intended._

 _"Ellana, I… I presumed you would be celebrating…" he started, sounding satisfyingly flustered. "Closing the Breach is certainly an achievement worthy of…"_

 _"I could not have done it without you," she interrupted, keeping him off-balance, "and yet you are entirely absent…"_

 _He leaned back against the desk, regarding her in considered silence. The longer it went on the more frustrated she grew but just as she was about to break he chimed in._

 _"Why are you really here?" he asked._

 _The look of knowing on his face broke something inside of her._

 _"Why am I here?! You think I like spending my evenings being told how fucking wonderful I am?!" she yelled at him, the sheer volume of her voice clearly taking him aback. "I am nothing! I'm just some girl who wandered in to the wrong place at the wrong time and now I suddenly matter?! Bullshit! And here you are the one person whose opinion actually does matter to me for some fucking reason and you don't even care!"_

 _Just as quickly as it had started her rage petered out._

 _He waited a moment, staring down thoughtfully before speaking, "I was waiting for you, actually…"_

 _Disbelief clouded her expression, "Waiting…for me?"_

 _He nodded slowly in response before taking a slight step towards her. "And for the record, I do care…not about them or their misguided opinions but about…"_

 _Before he could finish she was upon him. Her lips crashed to his, hands forcing him so close their body heat melded together as one. He was slow to respond but finally he threw caution to the wind, his skin touching hers in the most delightful way._

Unfortunately that was where Ellana's experience ended. A tap to her shoulder pulled her abruptly out of the memory; her self splitting in two, leaving behind the imagined form to press her lover against the wall.

"Ah…what a memory," sounded Solas's voice from behind her. She turned to face him with a disgruntled look. "Apologies for the interruption but my task is done."

An alarm call sounded outside, harkening the fateful first arrival of Corypheus on the scene. Ellana turned back to the pair ahead of her just as they pulled apart.

"Fun part is over anyway," she remarked.

"I could restart it if that would please you? However, it seems somewhat tame by our current standards."

"I know but look at you!" she exclaimed, pointing to the other Solas with amusement. "Look how scared you are! I never picked up on that when it was actually happening."

"You were busy," he added with a smirk. "Home?"

Ellana turned back to the image of herself, naive in every sense of the word, running out to battle unaware the actual cause of her strife followed just behind.

"Home," she finally replied, waking up in their bed seconds later.

"So, you were successful?" she asked Solas, already sitting up at her side. He nodded in response. "How did she take it?"

"Surprisingly well considering I was setting a crystal to her hide."

Ellana got up and made for the nursery door to check on the little one, still fast asleep.

"Did it hurt her?" she asked perched in doorway.

"No more than a cut would. She is a dragon, vhenan, she can endure much."

Ellana let out a sigh of relief. "Good… Did it work?"

"As far as I could tell but we will know more once we are done." He came to her and took her hands in his. "Ready?"

"I guess. Is Lis here yet?"

Solas smiled down on her. "Waiting in the office."

"Then off we go!" Ellana replied, feeling more apprehensive than she would ever let on.

* * *

The area had a bleak quality to it but Ellana still found it oddly peaceful. There was nothing for miles around but rocks and wildlife. Somewhere out of sight she could hear the waves crashing and taste the salt in the air. She had never held much of an opinion about the Storm Coast. On the one hand it was untamed, undisturbed which were both qualities she valued but that somewhat inevitably made it an unforgiving place. Even after so long she could still remember the sting of the bruises an equally untamed Giant had inflicted upon her. It was a strange thought that a place she had so little feeling towards could so easily become a place of real significance.

Holding the crystal in her hand the sound of the crashing waves quieted. She had only used the sending crystal Dorian had given her a few times but this was noticeably different. Solas, in all his tinkering, must have made it his own. The more she focused the more she could hear – waves on the open ocean, roars, shrieks and diving - but the sounds were only for her. It was not just the noises either. She could feel the tension, the excitement; feel the hunt as if it were her own.

"She's hunting out on the ocean," Ellana finally uttered, looking up at Solas with an impressed smile.

He nodded thoughtfully. "Good… If you can tell that much then it should function both ways."

Ellana gazed down at the crystal resting in her hands, quiet now without her concentration.

"So call her?" Solas prompted, all too aware of her blatant reluctance.

She looked at him blankly and then back down. She turned away from him, taking the crystal in her ungloved hand and pouring everything she had in to it. She heard the roars again and felt the bond they shared.

"Dhaveira!" she yelled out, utterly determined, unwavering in her certainty.

In her mind she heard the trill, felt the confusion but nothing more. A shriek sounded out, just for her.

"Dhaveira! Come to me!" she tried again, voice wavering with doubt.

Another two shrieks, questioning, defiant.

"She is not coming, is she?" Solas asked from behind.

But Ellana refused to give up, "Dhaveira! Please!"

Solas grabbed her by the arm. "Vhenan, she is not coming."

"But she has to! Without her we'll lose everything! We…!" she yelled out desperately, the pressure in her chest rising.

"Calm yourself…please…" he uttered quietly, pained to see her this way. "It is not over yet."

"But if we can't…!"

"We will!" he interrupted, somewhat too sternly. "We will… She is a dragon, vhenan, an intelligent beast…"

Ellana felt beside herself, hope lost. "I know that, Solas! Intelligent enough to know exactly how much I need her!"

"But you do not," he interjected earning a look of angry confusion from her. "The crystal worked, vhenan; it allowed you to practically see what she was doing. What do you think she saw of you? You and I bored from our journey, hoping she would come but not in need. Would you come running for that?"

"But the plan…!"

"A plan she can have no way of knowing," he interrupted. "All she knows is the here and now; everything beyond that may as well not exist."

"So what are you saying? It's not going to work, like this?" she asked having finally calmed down.

A half-smile formed across Solas's features as he took her arm. "Not like this, not the first time." He shot her a sideways look. "But I have a theory…"

Ellana felt hopeful at last but seeing his expression she let out a groan. "Should I even ask?"

"No…You will not be pleased…"

"Wonderful," she groaned yet again.

* * *

The day was waning judging by the dimming light. With the windows covered, Ellana could not see the no doubt pretty sunset but orange shards of light still pierced through in to the war room. The assemblage was the biggest yet, the final formal briefing, and normally she would have found that intimidating but not today. She held her daughter in her arms and nothing could extinguish the light that she brought.

"This is madness!" Cyrrian practically yelled to the otherwise quiet room. "From what scouts have told me the Inquisition will number in the thousands and yet you intend to face them with so few?!"

To the side Ellana noticed Solas tense and raise himself to his full height; a small gesture but significant by his standards. He had no doubt picked up on precisely what she had and was preparing for the appropriate reprimand. Unfortunately for him, she did not need him to defend her.

"Scouts you say?" Ellana asked evenly, coming forward in to the fray. "What scouts would those be exactly? Your concerns now lie with Tevinter, do they not? It is far beyond your remit to involve yourself with any scouts watching the Inquisition."

"Some still hold loyalty to me and they…well…keep me informed," Cyrrian started, weakening beneath the increasingly disapproving stares of the gathered crowd. "But I am still…!"

"Informed as a courtesy or at your request?" Ellana interrupted, earning a sly smile from Solas.

"What does it matter?!" he yelled back, clearly losing control just as she had hoped.

Unfortunately the volume of his voice awoke the sleeping baby in her arms. Emmaera started to fuss and then cry. Cyrrian seemed to take this as some form of win, likely believing it showed her as weak but she would prove him wrong. She handed the baby off to Solas and with the mere presence of her father, the crying stopped as quickly as it had started.

"It matters because those are men who should be loyal to our cause and thus, as the chosen to fight the Inquisition, loyal to me," Ellana went on, growing ever closer to Cyrrian. "Men that _are_ loyal to me otherwise they would no longer be here. It matters because by enticing them away you would be sowing doubts that need not be there, doubt in me. With doubt comes weakness and with weakness our cause will die." Cyrrian's face grew ever whiter, a sight Ellana thoroughly enjoyed. "So…Commander…have you been weakening our cause?"

The room was deathly silent except for Cyrrian's telling stutters. Ellana returned to Solas's side.

"As good an answer as any," he remarked, handing the contented baby back to her mother. He turned back to a noticeably shaking Cyrrian. "Consider yourself lucky; in the presence of my child you find me in a forgiving mood. Never again or else next time I may not be so forgiving…"

The threat hung heavy in the air although Ellana knew that in actuality it was likely empty.

"Anyway, to answer your veiled question, Commander," Ellana continued, brushing past the disquiet. "I am well aware of the disparity in numbers and I agree wholeheartedly with our Leader's perspective – numbers will not lend to our victory. Even if we threw everything we had at them, every available warrior, there would still be a disparity and the risk is too great. The more we bring, the more we stand to lose." She turned to Solas with a knowing smile. "Protecting fewer men costs us less and affords us more to use against our enemy."

"Further, to use our full complement would mean revealing our hand in its entirety," Varden added. "We have always worked in the shadows and some of that should remain."

"One reveal at a time," Ellana said more to herself than anyone as she fluttered her fingers for her quietly squealing daughter.

"The dragon…" uttered old man Getros from across the room.

Solas pried his eyes away from Ellana to focus on the old man but before he could say anything Cyrrian just had to comment yet again.

"The dragon none of us have even seen."

Judging by the gesture he made, Varden only just managed to stop himself from letting out a groan of frustration at the foolish boy's obvious desire for trouble. Ellana did not know if Cyrrian was actually trying to achieve something or just stupid but judging by the look in Solas's eyes he would no longer be forgiven. He had just, intentionally or otherwise, implied both Ellana and Fen'Harel himself were liars.

Just as she was about to take pity on him, Varden chimed in yet again to save the day, "I have seen the beast with my own eyes. Would you deride me by suggesting I am a liar?"

Cyrrian, for once, looked genuinely hurt by the suggestion. "Of course not! I just…!"

"I know exactly what you intended, foolish as it was," Varden went on. Much to Ellana's amusement, Cyrrian wore the appearance of a child being chastised by a parent. "If you cannot behave peaceably then I suggest that you take a step away from the proceedings right now."

"I can behave peaceably," Cyrrian replied sheepishly, looking anywhere but at Ellana.

Varden sighed. "Then with your assent…" he nodded to Solas "…shall we move on?"

With that finally resolved the discussion moved to the more logistical side of things. Troops had been fully organised, ready for deployment and the planning and training had been completed. As far as everyone was concerned they were as ready as they would ever be. At least that was how it was portrayed. The plan started with Dhaveira as they all knew but at no point did Solas mention the fact that they had yet to successfully move her to the Storm Coast or even call her at all. Ellana wondered if he was just trying to avoid unnecessary worry but in her mind they needed to know. Without the dragon there was no plan and without a plan they would certainly lose. Throughout the whole meeting she knew that she could say something and bring it out in to the open but something stopped her. She could not decide if it was faith in him or fear. Eventually all was said and done and everyone filed out. He had said little following his dressing down but still Cyrrian saw fit to give her one last glare as he left.

"What is that man's problem with me?" Ellana asked once she was in the presence of only Solas and Varden.

Emmaera had started to fuss towards the end of the meeting and now that Ellana thought about it she was due a feed. Struggling slightly she removed a breast from her clothing to oblige her daughter. Varden looked away politely.

"Is it not obvious?" Solas replied with a knowing look to his old friend.

Varden returned it with an added roll of the eyes. Ellana's brow furrowed in annoyance at the joke she clearly did not get.

"He's jealous of me or something?" she tried.

Jumping up to sit on the table, Solas let out a laugh.

"Has she always been so oblivious to the affections of men?" Varden asked him, chuckling as well.

"Affections?! You call that affection?!" Ellana interjected before Solas could answer.

Solas kept on chuckling. "Do you remember that boy you told me about? The one who bullied you relentlessly as a child and then one day kissed you out of nowhere?"

"Yes… He was my first kiss, bizarrely, but I can hardly see how that is relevant," Ellana replied angrily.

"Well apparently Cyrrian has not developed beyond the level of a child when it comes to the fairer sex," Varden explained with amusement.

"What?! But that's ridiculous!" Ellana replied with equal parts amazement and utter disbelief. "That would just be idiotic given…" she turned to Solas "…given, well, you…"

"Unless he is a threat I see no problem with it and it does not seem like you would consider him a worthy threat, vhenan?" he replied.

Ellana could not help but laugh. "No! Of course not! The guy is a twat!"

"I seem to recall her calling you something similar?" Varden asked with a nod to Solas.

Solas smirked. "I do too. Let us hope she does not have a type."

"Will both of you stop!" Ellana interrupted, reddening uncontrollably and making for the door.

Once she had abandoned them both, Solas dislodged himself from the table.

"Well…that was amusing," he said, still smirking.

* * *

 **A/N - It is so nice for me to finally be able to introduce Emmaera in to the world. May she survive long enough to become as much of an incontestable badass as her father. Let it rain, little one.**


	29. The Watchful Eye

"The particulars are irrelevant! We need you to tell us if it is possible!" Cassandra heatedly shouted.

As one would expect, she had been especially quick to anger recently. Dorian, to give him his due, took it graciously and with minimal sarcasm by his usual standards.

"The details of any plan are rather important but, to answer your so gently put question, yes it is _in theory_ possible," he started, with his usual half-smile. His look turned thoughtful. "However, I lack the knowledge or ability to even speculate how such a thing could be achieved…"

"That matters little," Cullen interjected, calm compared to Cassandra. "We can determine how with time."

"But you have no time," Dorian interrupted in turn. "Even if you had the full weight of the Imperium behind you - which you do not - it would still not be enough to use such a weapon in your coming fight."

"We are aware," Cullen replied, looking strained.

"Then I neglect to see why it is even a consideration," Dorian added. "If you do not intend to use it to win then…"

"We will win," Leliana interjected determinedly. "Of that I have no doubt, but even then it will not end. This began and it ends with Solas and even though he claimed this would give us an open shot at him, I think we all know that that will never be the case. He will have a contingency plan, he always does, and that will save him even if it ends countless other lives."

"The best we can hope for is that we cripple his army and thus slow his progress," Cullen added, running a hand through his hair.

"And when we do," Leliana went on, smiling wickedly. "We will have the time we need; the time to gain the full support of the Imperium and then…"

"A way to end him," Cassandra added finally.

* * *

Ellana knew not exactly where they were but it must have still been within the Storm Coast. The salt in the air was definitely less pronounced so she presumed that meant they must be further inland. Too curious, she had asked about the nature of Solas's plan but he was keeping silent. Allegedly, her knowing would only lessen its effect. Walking with him by her side, she gazed down at her ebony arm - un-gloved and open to the air. In amongst the blackness and vein-like lyrium a foreign crystal was inlaid just beneath the wrist. With her other hand she reached out and touched it; revelling in the calming rumbling she heard in her mind.

"It's not hurting you, is it?" Solas asked with a look of concern.

She pulled her hand away and the sound went with it. "No, it's fine. I'm just getting used to it." She touched it again and the rumbling - rhythmic and low - came back. "I think she's sleeping."

"She will not be for long," he replied with a reassuring smile. "How does it feel, no ill effects?"

"It's a bit heavy but I'll get used to that." She looked up at him questioningly. "Do you think she can constantly hear me? Surely it's a grey area given that it is attached to a part of me that is not really…well…me."

"I imagine she does to some extent," he replied, taking her less-feeling hand from her so she could no longer pour all her focus in to it. "Although it is not your flesh, it is a part of you – feeling for you, responding to your whims. If it links with your mind well enough to act as you intend then the crystal should too."

"But won't that bother her? Hearing me constantly?" she asked, voicing a genuine concern she had.

"Does quiet conversation in a tavern bother you?"

"No…" she replied not understanding where he was going with this.

"Because you ignore it to the point that it barely enters your awareness but if someone were to scream or shout you would quickly take notice, would you not?"

"So you're saying that she'll get used to the normal noises but if I need her, if it becomes more intense…"

"She will react, just as you would want her to. More than that, it means the skill cannot be taken from you without considerable effort. Even if you are stripped of all your weapons, they cannot separate you from her without causing you pain, which in itself should be more than enough to bring her to you," he explained with a self-satisfied expression.

"If this works," she retorted.

He came to an abrupt stop. "Well then it is fortunate that we will be finding out in a matter of moments."

The area around them was wooded and absolutely unremarkable. Beyond the trees she thought she could see an outcropping of mountains but little else captured her attention. It was not until Solas let out an echoing whistle that anything even stirred. Birds rose up from the trees and the undergrowth crunched as wildlife darted away from the sound. Looking beyond what she could see nearby, shadows, too big to be anything but rocks, shifted beyond the trees.

"Solas…why are we here?" she asked with dread as a recurrent thudding sounded in the distance.

"In my travels I have seen much of this world including this place," he started as her worry only worsened. "I could think of nowhere better; near as we need it and full of worthy opponents."

The thudding grew ever nearer, crunching sounds far greater than that of twigs punctuating each sound.

Ellana turned him to her, anxiety clouding her mind. "Opponents? But why would you…?"

"Not for me, vhenan," he replied with a slight laugh.

Staring at him in utter disbelief, she saw the sunlight turn to darkness on his face as the thudding broke through the trees. She turned in horror to face the Giant lumbering towards them.

"Even with wings she will take a while to arrive," he continued, clasping his hands behind his back and walking away. "I would start calling her now."

Ellana barely had time to even process his words. The Giant let out an immense roar and immediately swung down at her. Just in time she rolled out of the way as the ground around her fractured beneath the force of the blow. She had fought Giants before but it had been a long time ago and never alone. As quickly as she could she put some distance between herself and the beast. It had been easy before, the fast ones acting as a distraction while those with strength or magic took the beast down but that would never work with her alone. However, she was not alone and that was the point. She needed power; she needed Dhaveira. She just had to survive long enough for her to meet that need.

Grasping desperately at her wrist, Ellana tried to focus as the Giant lumbered closer but even with her efforts, she could hear nothing beyond the imminent danger.

"Dhaveira!" she screamed. "Please, help me!"

Relinquishing her wrist, she leapt to the side to avoid another great sweep of the Giant's arm. She darted in to the trees hoping they might offer some cover. Her plan worked and for a wonderful moment, she thought she was safe but that was only until she heard a roar from the opposite direction. Another shadow thudded closer and without a second thought, she ran. She dodged past the first Giant just as the other came crashing through the trees. She grabbed her wrist again as she kept on running.

"Gods, help me!" she screamed.

Panicked beyond all rational thought, she did not even think to notice Solas watching every movement intently from the side-lines. As she ran, huge hands beat against the ground, missing her by inches and a rock sailed past her head. She kept on going, certain a pattern was emerging. At just the right moment she halted, pirouetting on the spot and drawing her blades at the same time. The Giant kept on going with momentum too powerful to stop. She expertly dodged its legs and dived, blade ready, ripping through the back of the beast's heel in a precise strike. Momentum intact but tendon torn, the Giant collapsed forward beneath its own weight. Ellana had no time to stop. Compensating for the shaking ground she broke in to a run again, this time directly at the remaining Giant. It made to stomp on her but she avoided it with little trouble. Planning to do the same, she waited for an opening all the while evading the Giant's blows. After a particularly harsh one she took a moment to touch her wrist, hoping against hope that her own monster was coming. That slight distraction proved disastrous. She had been so focused on avoiding her current combatant that she had neglected to pay proper attention to the Giant she had left behind. Entirely unable to rise with its injuries she had thought it beyond her concern but she was wrong. Somehow the beast had managed to drag itself away from the open area and procure a rock, not a large one by Giant standards but dangerous enough. It was this rock, thrown with great force, that thundered along the ground just missing Ellana. A mixture of the force itself and surprise made her stumble and then finally tumble down on to the earth beneath her. The air around her grew heavy and tense as the Giant in front of her advanced, its shadow casting her in darkness.

But it was not just her anymore. In the darkness between her and the monster she saw Solas, eyes granting the only light. She found her feet behind him - ready to fight - only to see his eyes had stopped glowing. Now they were just wide, staring out at something behind her as the Giant in front seemed poised to end him.

"Run!" he yelled, grabbing her hand.

He hauled her to the side just as a monumental flash of white plunged down from the sky above. Crashing through the trees as though they were nothing, Dhaveira met her target with incontestable fury. She dwarfed the Giant in size and thus tore it apart in seconds with teeth and claw. She thrashed her tail, uprooting the surrounding trees with frightening ease, before incinerating the remaining combatant with her fire. Ellana looked on in complete wonder.

"It worked…" Solas gasped from her side.

Dhaveira sniffed the trees beyond and from what little Ellana could see there were hulking forms. Ivory hide spattered red with the blood of the fallen, the dragon sounded an earth-shattering roar and whatever remained scattered.

"It worked!" Solas repeated, clearly pleased with himself.

Dhaveira shrieked gleefully at the sound of his voice and bounded over to them. She stopped in front of Ellana and outstretched her head with a questioning trill. Ellana placed her palm between the beast's enormous blue eyes before leaning in to the embrace with her whole self.

"Thank you," she whispered and the dragon rumbled contentedly.

Solas, practically bouncing with self-pride, placed a hand on her arm. "I told you my plan would…" His jubilation evaporated at the sight of Ellana's expression. "…work…"

" _That_ was your plan?!" she yelled at him. "Are you insane?! I could have died!"

He retreated with each step she advanced, manner instantly turned appeasing. "Vhenan, you were never in any real danger…"

"I was being chased by Giants, you idiot!" she shouted back as the dragon hissed and advanced behind her.

"And so you needed to be. It had to be enough to warrant her attention," he went on, fear starting to creep in to the periphery of his being. "I was there in case anything went awry…"

The dragon sounded an angry shriek. "Went awry?! That was not bad enough for you?!" Ellana added.

"Please, vhenan, you need to calm down. Your beast is reacting…" he pleaded, backing away slowly.

"And so she should be! I could have been killed! Maybe you should know how that feels?"

He stopped in his tracks, what little fear he had crushed beneath unyielding control. "Enough! I only put you in this situation because I had to. The second I saw any danger I was there - ready to end it. You know there was no chance of me _ever_ letting anything happen to you but the fear had to be real. Anger now serves nothing beyond consoling your wounded pride!"

Ellana looked away from him and let out an angry groan. He neared her cautiously and placed a hand on each of her shoulders.

"I would never let anything happen to you. You are the mother of my child, my very heart. Without you I am nothing," he murmured softly to her.

In the briefest of gazes she returned his every word before her look turned sour once more. "Oh shut up! I'm still mad!"

She pulled away from him and he sighed. The dragon looked on at him expectantly.

"Was it foolish of me to expect any less?" he asked the beast, receiving a questioning trill in response.

* * *

Ellana tried to open the door quietly but in her eagerness, it still ended up banging against the wall. With light footsteps from years of practice she rushed in to the office without making any further noise. Behind her Solas followed, tired from the journey and her continued lack of forgiveness. Lis dropped the book she was reading and sat up behind the desk at the sight of them.

"Where is she?" Ellana asked with clear excitement.

"I checked on her a few minutes ago and she was sleeping like a little baby," Lis replied, emphasising the cuteness.

Ellana gave out a satisfied purr. "Aww, well…I shouldn't wake her."

"You were reading about the magical techniques used throughout the history of the Magisterium?" Solas asked; gazing doubtingly at the book Lis had dropped.

"Trying and failing is more like it. Everything else just sounded worse," she replied with a slight laugh. "Were you successful?"

"A dragon now occupies the Storm Coast," Solas answered before Ellana had a chance.

She was not willing to drop it just yet. "And a few fewer Giants…"

Lis's eyes widened. "Giants?"

"Yes! Giants!" Ellana replied angrily, glaring in Solas's direction.

Lis looked on in confusion but Solas had had enough for one day.

"Thank you for caring for our child," he started, bustling Lis out of the door. "But we apparently have issues to deal with so if you would excuse us…"

Ellana took over, leading Lis out with more politeness. Once her friend was gone, she turned back to Solas with another glower but a smile quickly betrayed her anger.

"Baby time!" she exclaimed excitedly, running by him. She knelt down over the crib, heart bursting at the sight of her sleeping child. "Oh my sweet little love; I would fight a thousand Giants for you."

She passed by Solas out of the room still smiling. She could feel his eyes on her as she padded about. Finally, she came to rest in front of him.

"You are forgiven," she said, taking a step in closer so they were touching. She gazed up at him. "Father of my child, my very heart…"

Before she could even finish the sentence he was kissing her. Unable to contain herself, she let out the slightest of moans as she wrapped her arms around his neck and rose up on her tiptoes. He shut the door to the nursery before enveloping her in his arms. Her lips against his, she unintentionally forced him back against the door but he easily adapted, lifting her free of the floor and away from their sleeping child. With one final deep kiss of her lips, he lowered her down on to the bed and she started removing her clothing at a speed that highlighted just how eager she was. He smirked at the sight. Noting his amusement, she placed a hand on the soft skin of his neck.

"You won't be laughing once I'm done with you," she purred.

With her other hand she drew him down on to the bed and slid on top, all the while kissing his lips with fervour. She whined as his hands found the most sensitive parts of her.

"Vhenan," he whispered in her ear before similarly losing himself to her touch.

Neither one felt anything but the other; that was until a wail broke the heady quiet. Attuned to the sound of her child's cries, as any mother is, Ellana's head snapped up instantly. Solas kept on kissing her neck but with a touch to the cheek, he relented.

"It's like she knows," Ellana uttered as she stared longingly in to his eyes.

He smiled a reluctant smile before luring her in for one final kiss.

"I will see to her," he insisted, rolling her gently off him and rising.

Ellana sat up in the bed. "She probably needs feeding."

"Then I will bring her dutifully to you, my love," he called out from the nursery. His voice quieted, no longer needing projection beyond the room he was occupying. "Fear not my precious little girl; you are not alone."

The crying stopped before he had even emerged from the room.

"She always quiets with you," Ellana stated with a hint of envy.

Solas sat down on the bed beside her, his daughter gazing up at him in adoration.

"She lived inside of you, vhenan, and I am the rarer sight," he lamented.

As if sensing his hurt, Emmaera placed one of her tiny hands on his face and an emotion-filled gasp escaped his open mouth.

"No, I think she just loves her daddy more than anything in this world," Ellana replied with utter conviction.

* * *

Ellana awoke with a start. The bed beside her was cold, vacant and once she had recovered as much as was possible she left it to seek the open air. She stopped at the sight of Solas seated outside with journal in hand, writing as he always was. He had claimed that the book was merely a means to record his thoughts but she doubted that was true. Through his actions he had made it clear that she would never be allowed a glimpse of these alleged thoughts and that alone was enough to make her nervous. He glanced back, flinching at the sight of her and slamming it shut as he always tellingly did.

He smiled warmly to her, trying to veil his actions far too late. "Sleep hard to come by?" he asked, outstretching a hand in greeting. "I cannot claim I was anything but disappointed when you dozed off…"

Ignoring his hand she took it a step further and mounted him with a knee on either side. She pressed her lips to his, breathing heavy. He started to lose himself again. One hand found her hair while the other fell limp at his side but, to her surprise, he pulled away.

"Vhenan, wait," he uttered, fixing her with a concerned stare. "You are having second thoughts…" Ellana scoffed at the misread suggestion and tried to resume their activities but he was having none of it. "Vhenan, talk to me."

Focusing on something beneath her, she finally spoke, "I don't get to have second thoughts, not now…"

Solas forced her to meet his gaze. Her eyes darkened the longer she stared in to his as the reality that he was right hit her hard. The time was drawing near and with it looming she doubted, worse than that she remembered and that was something she had been avoiding for much too long.

"I have no choice," she finally answered, shirking away from his touch. "Even if I opted to do nothing then what would that achieve? I could go running back to them, sorrowful and resolved to join them in their cause…"

"You would never do that," he interjected, part statement part undeniable question.

Ellana allowed herself a few notes of cynical laughter. "No, I wouldn't. If I walked through their door holding our child what do you think they would do with her?"

His brow furrowed as his expression slowly fell. "They would take her from you; use her to get to me…"

"What is the life of one child when weighed against that of every one in existence?" she interrupted sadly. "That is how they would justify it and they're right. I would agree if things were different, if it was not my child and that thought terrifies me." She glanced up at him as her eyes and voice filled with resolve. "But she is mine and I will not allow them to darken her door. Never, not while I still breathe, even if it means I must fight them. So no, Solas, I am not having second thoughts." With a hand she compelled him to her, close enough they were nearly touching. "I am just terrified."

Her breath hitched as she finally brought her lips to meet his and reluctantly he allowed it. There was more he could offer but he knew that no words could change the way she felt. Finally throwing the book he held to the side, he met her affections fully; intent on giving her the distraction she craved. The pages fell open on the chair but before he could close it, Ellana caught a glimpse as she had hoped. It was just one word, the only one written in the language she could understand amongst the elvhen scrawls – 'Anders'.

* * *

Over the past few days Ellana had pondered what she had read but she still had no answer. At many points she was so frustrated that she got frightfully close to just asking Solas. The word was familiar, so much so that she was almost certain it was a name but from where she could not remember. The more she thought, the more it made sense – a name would be the only the word not in elvhen. Even still, that knowledge did little to help her remember where she had heard it.

Whilst Ellana pondered, the tension surrounding the camps had only grown. A mixture of both excitement and fear, she found it most unpleasant to walk through. It reminded her of what was to come. With this in mind, she descended the tower already dreading the feeling. It was foolish really, as the dread alone was enough to bring it on far earlier than was necessary. Each floor she passed flashed by her unnoticed until a sense of familiarity caught her attention. Shivra and Varden standing on the balcony of the second floor, she was certain, but her progress downwards prevented her from confirming her suspicions. From what little she had seen they had looked to be embracing one another and not in a distinctly friendly way. Once she reached the ground she paced about, uncertain what to do with this information but before long the decision was made for her. Still a floor above Shivra practically skipped down the stairs. She stopped suddenly at the sight of Ellana and ducked back but it was already too late.

"Shivra? Is that you hiding there?" Ellana asked in a sing-song voice. Silence followed and Ellana started making her way up the staircase. "I can see you…"

Finally the slightly reddened elf stepped out from behind the bannister with a disgruntled look. "Hey, Ellana, I was just…um…visiting…"

"Oh really?" she replied, scepticism ringing out.

"Yeah! Just like I've done loads of times before!" Shivra added, pushing past her angrily.

Ellana could not really argue that point but she knew there was more to it. "So then tell me, why the secrecy? If it's all so normal then why hide?"

Shivra let out an angry noise. "Maybe I just didn't want to speak to you?! Did you ever think of that, you insufferable hag?!"

"You're doing Varden!" Ellana exclaimed triumphantly. Shivra practically tackled her to the floor but Ellana struggled against her. "I've finally caught you so admit it!"

"It's not like that!" Shivra roared with rage, succeeding in pinning Ellana against the wall. "He's been there for me before but then it…" She trailed off looking ashamed.

"You can tell me, Shiv." Ellana could see that her friend was in turmoil and the desire to joke was all but gone. "Trust me, I understand better than most…"

Shivra finally met her eyes after a long silence. "Years ago, I was a wreck…even more so than I am now and he was there for me but it got too much and I ruined it…" She looked away. "But even after that he just kept being there…even if it was just as a friend. I've never had that. If you push hard enough they always leave, _always_ , but he didn't …"

"So when was it…?"

Back on the defensive, Shivra interrupted her, "When was what?! Look, Ellana, you can't…!"

"When was it that you stopped pushing and realised you were worthy of happiness?" Ellana interjected slyly.

Shivra's eyes narrowed. "I knew that fucker was going to tell you! I should have known you would just bat your eyelashes and he'd sing! Dread Wolf, my arse! Last time I trust him with anything!"

"Actually he didn't; I overheard," Ellana replied matter-of-factly. Warmth crept in to her chest. "No matter how hard I tried to get it out of him he insisted on keeping your secret so as far as trustworthiness, I'd say he's alright."

"Sorry," Shivra muttered somewhat sheepishly. Finally she released Ellana from her vice-like grip. "It's actually because of him that it even happened. I guess what he said…kind of talked me in to it…"

"He has been known to do that," Ellana replied with a chuckle. With the heady emotion dissipated, the two started to make their way down the stairs. Ellana had so many questions she could not think where to start. "So… Varden? Why?" Her eyebrow raised almost against her will.

"Oh fuck off, you can hardly talk," her friend countered, skipping ahead a distance.

* * *

On the walk through the camps Ellana tried to resist asking too much of her friend. While undeniably fun to prod, at the end of the day it was not really her business. Varden had been the last person she would have guessed but now that she thought about it, it actually made a lot of sense. The two no doubt played well off of one another and Ellana was left hoping she might get to see it. Hating the thought of it, she had never been on a double date but now the idea was surprisingly appealing.

The revelation had made for a nice distraction and she barely even felt the tension in the air as they went. At least until she reached the camp where her friends resided. Lori was the first one who met them, happy to break away from her preparations. Shivra seemed to have finally accepted her presence and that certainly made things much easier for Ellana.

"Aww, no baby?" Lori asked with disappointment.

"Nope, she's with her dad," Ellana replied, smiling slightly at the thought. "How goes your preparing?"

Lori's nose crinkled with annoyance. "Slowly. Lis keeps checking everything over and over and insisting we spar constantly. She's gone manic."

Ellana laughed. "Sounds like Lis."

Miris appeared in the trees, likely hiding from the subject of their discussion, and Shivra ran over to her.

"Yeah, she always goes a bit nuts when she's scared," Lori continued pensively.

Ellana looked back down at her in consideration. "You're not afraid, are you?"

"A suitable amount I suppose; it is a war after all…" She shrugged her shoulders dismissively. "But whatever happens, happens; you know?"

"So be it? That sort of thing?" Ellana asked; surprised by her friend's apparent disinterest in the looming situation that could very easily kill her.

Lori bowed her head and her hair hung down to cover her face. "I have a purpose and I would like to fulfil that purpose but there is only so much I can do. There are parts beyond my control and…I don't know; I just figure what's the use in worrying about them if you can't change them?"

"I suppose you are right, although I like to think there is a lot more we can change than we think," Ellana added. Lori gazed up at her, green eyes blank. "Is Lis in her tent?"

"Yeah," the red haired girl replied, turning back to her task. "I think she realised she was getting annoying…"

After pressing a hand appreciatively to her friend's arm, Ellana made off in the direction of Lis's tent. She could hear quiet humming from within interjected by the odd mumbled statement. Lis looked up as Ellana came through the doorway with unusually wide pupils, a clear sign that she was definitely starting to panic.

"Hey! Is everything alright?" she started in a wavering voice that grew progressively louder. "Are you alright? Where's Emmaera?"

Taken aback by all the questions, Ellana barely knew where to start. "Okay…that hurt my head…" Lis turned away looking frustrated at herself. "Everything is fine, Lis, completely fine," Ellana continued, trying her best to be reassuring.

"I know…I know…" Lis replied, head in her hands. "I'm dealing with it."

"Are you? Kind of seems likes you're not…" Lis looked up with a glower but Ellana still sat down beside her, unfazed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I don't think that will help. I'll manage, in my own way." Lis got up and started back in her cycle of arranging but this time with less intensity. "What brings you here? Shouldn't you be preparing too?"

Ellana leaned back casually. "Nope, my part is small in the grand scheme of things. Anyway, I needed to talk to you so here I am…"

"Talk to me about what?" Lis asked, stopping all activities.

Ellana sat up again with a significantly softened gaze. "There is something I need to ask of you and I'm pretty sure you're not going to like it but you are the only one I trust."

Lis sat down in preparation. "Gods help me, what now?"

"I…I need to ask you to stay behind," Ellana stuttered, amazed she even managed to get it out.

Lis suddenly rose to her feet. "Stay behind? Why?!"

"For Emmaera. If I could, I would stay with her but I have to go; the plan rests on me. I need someone I can trust to stay and look after her until I can come back. She is everything to me and you're the only person I can think of who I would be willing to leave with that responsibility."

"But then I couldn't fight alongside you. What if you don't come back? I couldn't just…"

Despite herself Ellana could feel the emotion building inside of her. "But you must! Please, Lis! I know I am asking a lot but there is no one else! I trust no one like I do you! Please! I cannot go knowing she might not be safe!"

Lis broke away from her, thought written across her expression. "Okay…" she muttered, still turned away. "I'll do it."

Ellana ran over to her and captured her in a tight embrace.

"Thank you!"

Lis returned it weakly. "But you better come back, you hear?"

A half-smile formed across both of their lips.

* * *

Ellana had been dreading this day for weeks. Even with the birth of her daughter as a pleasant interlude, it had played ever on her mind. What she had not counted on was how hard actually leaving was going to be. Ellana had only been apart from her child for brief periods and now she was expected to leave entirely. On top of everything was the thought that in reality, she might never come back. She wished that they had more time to spend with one another. Regardless of the outcome, Ellana had accepted that there was no positive eventuality waiting for her on the battlefield; the only hope she had was that she would get to see her baby daughter again.

During the journey she had spoken little with anyone. She tried her best to maintain a brave face but it was hard. Even her friends, unattached to the mourning she alone seemed to feel, were notably sombre. The soldiers that travelled with them likely shared her friend's lack of concern for anything beyond their own people but Ellana did wonder if they knew the full extent of what they were about to face. Then again, Solas's presence certainly helped. The people now still saw him as something of a god and with that came a belief in the impossible. She touched the crystal set in her arm regularly throughout the journey, comforted by the sound of Dhaveira's shrieks. At least it sounded like she was enjoying her new home.

They arrived with time to spare. In the distant hills movement could be seen but otherwise the land was devoid of life. They had arrived first and that gave Solas time to tinker with everything as he was wont to do. Ellana just stood, seemingly watching the Inquisition scouts darting in the distance but actually vacant within herself. Luckily for her, even her friends kept their distance. They could have offered her comfort but she was in no state to cope with any form of simple conversation. Even offering them luck was impossible for her; too much of an unpleasant reminder of what would happen if luck did not find them or even if it did.

"Dawn approaches," Solas remarked as he came to stand by her side at last.

Ellana could tell that he had no idea what else to say to her. "It does," she replied still staring out to the landscape. "Not long now."

She could have asked a myriad of questions about their readiness but she could not find the strength or the inclination. Fortuitously Solas seemed to share in her mood. They stood together in silence.

"Solas, I'm… This was never what I wanted. I wanted time, I wanted…" Ellana started weakly, finally facing him.

His eyes turned sad as he kept them fixed to the distance. "I am sorry, vhenan. Our time has run out."

Ellana stopped short and followed his gaze out to the rise in the landscape. The light crept forwards from behind them, sun barely over the horizon but even still she could see the great blackness cresting the rise. It came down the slope first as drips of dark against the grasses, small deployments making their way forward first. That changed all too quickly as the drips merged with those that came after; the rise painted all but black by the sheer number of soldiers. Seeing them was one thing but the noise was what truly brought fear in to her heart – the thudding of so many feet, the galloping of horses and the roars of troops ready to spill blood. She could feel herself cower beneath the wake of it all; eyes glistening, heart heavy. She wanted to look back at her own people, pathetic in number by comparison but she resisted the urge; she was too weak to offer them the strength they were going to need.

"Solas…I…" she started, barely able to form coherent thought let alone speak.

"You are afraid," he interrupted, appearing not to mirror her fear. "Understandable, given what we face."

From what she could see the shadow on the rise was forming up, becoming organised. She could see banners flying both of the Inquisition and of Orlais. A sigh of relief escaped her knowing that at least Tevinter would not face them on this day. Amongst it all, single figures walked and in her mind they were Cassandra, Leliana and Cullen stalking the distance.

"But know this, however many we may face they will be useless without order and that we can take from them," Solas continued with a slight suggestion that he may be trying to convince himself too. "Chaos, vhenan. Create chaos whilst maintaining our order and they will run or fall."

She watched the legion before them but through it all, she still remembered her purpose. She touched a hand to her wrist nervously.

"I know the plan, Solas, all too well," she replied dismissively.

"I know you do. Let us hope the dragon hears it too," Solas remarked with his first hint of visible doubt.

She met his gaze, eyes overtaken by resolve. "She will."

Solas touched a hand to her cheek. "Then go, sow me chaos and I shall bring you victory."

Their eyes lingered on one another before she strode off in to the open alone. She turned to her friends as she passed.

"We win or we go down together," Ellana remarked, touching a hand to each of their shoulders as she passed.

"Together," they mirrored back as she walked away.

With each step out in to the open it grew more difficult as her apprehension weighted her down. There had been a time when this was the last thing she wanted but there could be no turning back now. Behind her she heard Solas, loud and clear as he addressed their loyal but no doubt fear-ridden army.

"Brothers and sisters, for too long the humans have derided our people and supressed our very way of life. Now we take back what is ours and still they seek to crush us beneath their power. That time is over. I will not lie to you; blood will be spilt…"

His voice trailed away as she kept walking until she could no longer make out his words over her own scurrying thoughts. She heard the roar from the elves that followed him but nothing more than sounds in the periphery of her awareness beyond that. As she walked, Ellana outstretched her hand to flow through the grasses and wildflowers that covered the ground. Closing her hand around some stalks, she pulled them free to rest amongst her fingers.

At long last she stopped in the centre of the battlefield and cast the foliage loose to dance in the wind. She touched her wrist and allowed her fear to overwhelm. Images flashed through her mind – their army crushed, her love lost, herself lost and the triumphant army breaking down the doors to her daughter. Fully focused, she outstretched her arms and cried out to the heavens.

"Dhaveira! Lend me your strength! Come to me! Help me, please!"

* * *

"What is this?! Some kind of trick?!" Cassandra shouted out to the others.

Cullen did not break his eyes away from Ellana. He had not heard the words themselves but he had heard the shout. No matter what thought ran through his mind he could not find a possible explanation. His gaze flitted back to Solas, distinct in his golden armour. He stood confidently with hands clasped tightly behind his back, a sight that made Cullen's lip curl.

"What could she possibly be doing?" Cassandra went on more quietly as Leliana came to join the two.

"If it were Solas I would expect the worst but her?" Leliana added.

Back watching Ellana, Cullen started to feel for her. It had been some minutes since she had first shouted and whatever she was waiting for still had not arrived. Even at this distance, he could see her shifting nervously amongst the wildflowers.

"We should sound the attack, we cannot be seen to afford any weakness," Leliana went on, actually sounding regretful beneath the facade.

Cullen paid her no mind. Somewhere in the distance he thought he heard a faint rumbling sound. He raised up a hand in an attempt to hush the others but as he did, Ellana turned back towards her people.

"What is it, Cullen?" Cassandra asked, oblivious.

Ellana had not moved but kept on staring off in to the distance. He changed his focus back to Solas, eyes now closed and noticeably smiling to himself. Cullen dreaded what that meant as the rumbling grew louder. Distant but still visible beneath his intent stare, Ellana upturned her eyes to the mountains behind the elves. Inexplicably the white crest seemed to continue to ascend; forever reforming the line it held to block the sky. It was not until it occluded even the sun that he accepted the rising form was not the mountain.

"Maker preserve us," Cullen gasped, as shadow descended over them.

The others had not yet understood but there could be no question once a world-rending roar tore across the land. The dragon's full horrifying form became all the more clear as it dived down and light illuminated everything once again. Cullen's eyes darted back to Ellana as he uncontrollably took a step back. She was no longer waiting that much was certain. As the beast descended with wings casting a colossal shadow below, she turned back to face Cullen's men smiling hideously. In his horror he had all but forgotten them and almost instantly, he wished it had stayed that way. He looked around and saw nothing but faces of terror and he could not blame a one of them.

"It is over…" Cullen breathed but no one seemed to hear him.

The beast crashed down beside Ellana with a stream of flames and another roar. In an almost loving gesture, she touched a hand to its immense cheek. The dragon reared up on its hind legs and outstretched its wings, blotting out the sun for the humans alone. It roared, shaking the earth beneath them and undeniable heat emanated from its gaping jaws. Ellana turned to it as it lowered and with the light from its burning fire Cullen was certain he could read her lips.

"Kill them," she said.

* * *

The sight of Ellana standing alongside her monster had been an inspiring one even for Solas. She had already turned back before the dragon reared a second time and was running by the time it took flight but he would not allow himself to feel relief until she was back by his side. Arrows and spells from the few mages the Inquisition had followed the dragon's ascent but those that met their target did little. It would take far more than that to bring down Dhaveira. As he had intended the mere sight of her had done wonders for morale amongst the elves. It had been vital to keep her out of sight, both from their own people and the Inquisition. If their people had grown accustomed to the sight of her then she would no longer be a source of wonder and if the Inquisition caught so much as a glimpse, they would have lost the element of surprise. Surprise was necessary; without it, there was only fear but they needed panic, all consuming panic. As soon as the beast took flight the soldiers beyond gave in to their terror and the fire she brought down only worsened the effect. Some simply ran, those were the cowards, but the brave ran with purpose. Just as he had expected, those that did not immediately abandon hope moved straight in to attack mode but no longer towards the dragon. Any smart man would think she was the more difficult of the two potential targets, impossible in fact for the majority who lacked ranged weaponry. Better to deal with her source - the far smaller group of elves. Mirroring his prediction, the soldiers advanced hastily down the rise towards them all the while scattering to avoid the dragon's rage as much as they could. Some of the soldiers cleverly moved in to position to try and surround them but Solas had planned for that. It would be a struggle to survive even the advance but those that made it would be in for a terrible surprise.

"Ready the archers," Solas ordered, barely turning to the general at his side. "Warriors, with me!"

The archers moved first, advancing to the point where the arrows still remained in the ground from the fateful day the Inquisition had signed over their lives. They formed up leaving the gap just as the arrows marked. Around him the warriors moved in to formation, some at his sides and the majority at his back. They moved as one to stand with the archers with Solas front and centre occupying the gap alone.

As fast as she was, Ellana reached them far ahead of the charging soldiers. She came to an abrupt stop directly in front of Solas and he allowed himself the feeling of relief.

"You have your chaos," she remarked, glancing over her shoulder before fixing her eyes back to his. "Now bring me victory."

She made to move on behind him but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

"Ar lath ma vhenan," he said, other hand stroking her hair.

She smiled her beautiful smile and grasping a hand behind his head, she pulled him in to meet her lips. He kept his eyes closed once it had ended to revel in the feeling for as long as possible before it evaporated along with anything other than focus. She took his hand and led him back to stand a distance from the archers just as they started loosing arrows at the incoming soldiers.

"Assume positions!" Solas loudly ordered.

The front four lines of soldiers on either side of him filed in to position, filling the gap between the archers. Those that remained at the flanks shifted forward instantaneously allowing those that had been lost to be immediately replaced by the reserves at the back. As it was happening Solas closed his eyes again, only opening them once the foreboding glow had built. Lights erupted from the air to dance around Ellana and him. Doing the bidding of his gesture they floated forth in front and sunk in the earth where the arrows lay. He repeated the action twice more around them and although it was not visible, he knew that magic now surrounded them on all sides - waiting. The troops beyond were growing near and he could feel the exhilaration of battle building in his chest. Ellana had already started her pacing, back and forth in front of him. She was a truly remarkable woman; so full of life but so ready to give that up if it meant protecting what she cared for. So often consumed by fear but at the same time fearless; it was one of the things he loved about her, as wrong as it was. Right when his mind started to wander the first man, exhausted from avoiding death at the hands of the dragon and the archers but resolved to strike them down, came to the line and met unceremoniously with the surprise.

* * *

Light bathed them as blue flames erupted from the ground. The arrows that had marked the location were burned to ash in an instant and with them, the first man across. Those that could not stop in time ceased to exist in every sense of the word, nothing but ash on the wind. Now the trap had been triggered, everything else flowed in to action. The elven archers kept up the hail of arrows, increasing the kill zone exponentially and the warriors dealt with the few that happened to be in the gap between the fires. Some, the fleetingly brave, took this opportunity to run. Ellana waited beside Solas for the next phase and watched the proceedings with intensity. Her friends fought amongst the elves in the fray at the front. Few made it to the gap so now was not the time to worry. She wanted to be up there with them but she had her own part to play.

"There we are," Solas remarked from her side. His voice was uncharacteristically flat, as it always was once he had primed himself.

She followed his gaze out beyond the fighting and saw it too - soldiers organising themselves, adapting to the new circumstances. They had two options: they could advance to the point where the fire wall ended and flank the elves but that would mean surviving the arrows or they could attack from the front through the very obvious gap. To most people it would seem that this was a trap but in the heat of battle, faced with far fewer soldiers than you have one would take what appears to be the fastest route. Luckily for the elves, few had witnessed Solas in all his terror and those that had, had been the first to run. Cassandra was the exception. She had survived at the front and there she remained readying her men for the charge, intent on reaching Solas alone.

"They have a choice…they still have a choice," Ellana uttered quietly. Around her the air was building, fracturing angrily beneath the Dread Wolf's will. "Run, you fools!"

But they did not heed her words and Ellana knew that even with all their bravery, they would regret not taking their chances with the dragon instead. The Inquisition soldiers kept the falling arrows at bay with raised shields but they could not deny the gleaming tendrils that snaked through their ranks. Glittering terribly in the daylight, those they touched combusted instantly with resounding screams. Cassandra denied any that came near her and they burst out of existence. While Solas's powers far surpassed hers, the effort of maintaining the fire wall was enough to slightly weaken him. Nevertheless he was still more than capable of sending an explosive firestorm rippling through the back end of their ranks. By forcing the humans in to such close formation, the elves had created a bottleneck – making his spells all the more devastating and reducing the effectiveness of the human's numbers. Reducing the effects of his barrage around her, Cassandra charged amongst her remaining men and hit the front line of the elves. Their proximity now limited what Solas could do without endangering the lives of his own people but he was still kept busy. More soldiers, slower on the charge and thus aware of the barrier of fire, formed up to join their comrades. He dealt with them, distance his stalwart ally, thus significantly reducing the numbers that ever made it to the elves.

"Ignore the elves! Get to their leader!" Ellana could hear Cassandra roaring through the chaos.

Elves inevitably fell in their pursuit. They were quickly replaced by the side lines but that still allowed the Inquisition movement and slowly but surely the very few made it through the elven line. A ready and waiting Ellana was the only one who occupied this space - Solas's safe-zone where he could cast without fear of harming his own people. Ellana with blue-hued skin was shielded. She flitted skilfully around him ending those that threatened before they could even get close. This allowed him to maintain complete focus on annihilating those in the distance, never once allowing a lull that could overwhelm the elves in front.

At least until Cassandra made it through. Roaring with rage, she tore through the elves and charged forward, intent on making it to Solas. Ellana caught her before she could; a dagger with all her momentum behind it struck the Seeker's armour and pushed her off balance. She turned back to Ellana with fury burning in her eyes.

"Stand aside!" she roared.

"I will not!" Ellana shouted desperately.

With another roar Cassandra charged at her, blade meetings hers with strength she could never match. Even still Ellana was more than capable, hurling out a strike and dodge that threw Cassandra's blow off to the side. Others made it through the elven line on Cassandra's steam. Ellana only had moments to deal with them before the Seeker recovered, sweeping out more and more strikes. All the while Ellana dodged her and took whatever opportunity she could to deal with anyone that was not Cassandra. Once the last man fell, the completely incensed Seeker only worsened her onslaught. Ellana kept herself out of harm's way, regularly seeing openings that she refused to take.

"Please, Cassandra!" she begged uselessly.

Noticing her obvious hesitation, Solas paused in his assault but it no longer mattered. Many of the Inquisition men, seeing the futility of their struggle, had already started to retreat and the elves kept those that remained busy. He dealt with the occasional man that made it through but they became fewer and further between as more and more men retreated. Cassandra did not appear to care that she was being abandoned; she kept striking out at Ellana regardless.

"I will not show you mercy!" Cassandra roared, as though willing herself. "I will kill you and then I will end him!"

Solas could watch no longer. He sent out fire towards the Seeker and she was so focused on Ellana that she seemed oblivious. She noticed just in time. Before the magic could reach her it was purged from reality. Ellana took her opportunity and tackled her to the floor.

"Stop!" she yelled, as Cassandra's armour crashed in to the ground. "Your people have routed; take your life with them!"

"No, my people remain," the Seeker sneered.

As she turned back, a cry rung out among the elves and both of the side lines turned out.

"Solas, they are behind the line!" Ellana yelled, pinning Cassandra to the floor.

She could see them now through her people; a group on either side – one headed by Cullen, the other by Leliana.

"Wait for it," Solas replied steadily.

In her fearful distraction, Cassandra had broken free. She punched Ellana square in the face and rolled her off. With Ellana still recovering on the ground, she rose to her feet just as the second and third fire walls ignited. The soldiers that had triggered them died instantly just like before and this time there were no gaps. Excluding the one weak point, incontestable death surrounded the elves on all sides.

"No…" Cassandra uttered, the fury in her eyes replaced by a complete lack of hope.

From what little was visible through the fire, Ellana saw the troops moving beyond as she regained her footing. Others were being brought forward from the back ranks; movements Ellana recognised all too well started.

"They have archers!" she called out.

Arrows raining down on their tightly packed troops would be a disaster and with all the barriers ignited, Solas was severely weakened. Target the soldiers themselves or stop the arrows - he only had the power remaining to do one and both he and Ellana knew it. With an almost maniacal laugh sounding out; it seemed Cassandra knew as well.

"Save them or die!" she shouted, eyes focused only on him and already charging.

Ellana was moving too and if it was his life at stake, she would not hesitate. Cassandra did not notice her as she ran, daggers poised to spill the blood of her friend. However, Ellana was not the only one on the move. With few troops remaining on the rise to douse in flame, Dhaveira had felt her fear re-directed to the troops at their flanks. She swooped down right over them, so close that the force of the air beating off her wings almost knocked them all off their feet. Both Ellana and Cassandra stumbled to a stop. The glow that had been building in Solas's eyes disappeared as he watched the beast's path through the sky along with the two warring women.

"No!" Cassandra yelled, as Dhaveira turned.

Flying furiously, the dragon was poised to destroy all that caused the one she trusted fear. In order to avoid the elves she would have to choose a side and judging by her path, she was choosing Cullen's. Her jaws opened, flames slowly building inside.

"No…" Ellana uttered just as the flames spewed forth, consuming all.

In her last glimpse of him, Cullen knelt beneath his shield but she never saw if he rose up afterwards. Leaving nothing but fire behind her, the dragon was coming back to deal with the others and they knew it. Solas smiled as they ran.

"It's over, Cassandra," he said, foolishly hoping to dissuade her from her path. "Your people are either dead or running…"

The Seeker turned to him with fire burning hot in her eyes.

"I _will_ stop you!" she screamed already charging.

Solas took that as a decision. With the dragon dealing with the few enemies that remained the fire walls were no longer needed, he had more than enough power to work with. She eliminated the fire he threw but he had expected as much. Unfortunately for her, she could not recover quickly enough to deal with the lightening. Unfortunately for him, it was not Cassandra that it hit. Ellana had thrown herself in front and even with the barrier, it was a direct hit and blood trickled from her mouth. She still managed to grab Cassandra, blade at her throat.

"Run or die; those are your choices," she stated coldly. "I will kill you right here or you can walk back through my people and live to fight another day. This was never the way, Cassandra."

Something in Ellana's voice got through to the Seeker. She looked at her questioningly and loosened her grip on her blade.

"Drop it," Ellana ordered. "Drop your weapon and I will let you go."

Cassandra did as she was bid and her sword clattered to the ground. Ellana lessened her grip and Cassandra pulled free. Solas took a step forward but stopped as soon as Ellana's eyes met his. The dragon roared out above and flames spewed across the sky.

"Let her through!" Ellana commanded her troops.

Cassandra stopped a few paces away from the parted elves and turned back. "I will stop you," she stated to them both before running off in to the open.

* * *

"Are you hurt?" Solas asked in a panicked tone as he examined Ellana intently.

She stared at him, blood staining his face, for a beat too long. "I am fine, Solas," she replied dismissively.

She was in pain but she had dealt with far worse. What remained of the Inquisition army was running; they had been victorious but for Ellana it was a hollow victory. Around them their soldiers saw to the wounded and the dead. From the very back of their ranks, Dalish healers including Mirwen had come forward to set to work. Dhaveira no longer flew above them, stark against the ground she had blackened.

"What do you think you were doing?! I could have killed you!" Solas suddenly yelled.

"You definitely would have killed her," Ellana replied blankly.

His face contorted with rage. "So that is it? She intended to kill me and you, vhenan," he started, his tone utterly derisive even when saying her honorific. "You practically tore Vivienne's head from her neck for far less."

Ellana's expression remained blank. "That I did, out of anger; unbridled rage that I used to distract me from my true pain and it worked, at least until it was done. It was not until the light left her eyes and my rage faded that I realised how wrong I was. She did not need to die and nor did Cassandra."

Solas would not let go. "She would have killed us both!"

"Then why are we still alive?" she asked. He gazed uselessly at her, open-mouthed. Nearby a man, so badly burned he barely even resembled a man, was screaming horribly. "We endure, just as we always do and strive to be better than we were. Something good has to come from all the death, Solas; it has to... A better world is nothing without people to make it so. If not for our daughter then for what?"

Ellana left his side and walked to the burned man. Judging by his size and placement, he must have been human so the healers had paid him no mind. Ellana knelt down beside him and unsheathed her blade.

"I am sorry," she said before plunging the blade in to the base of his skull and silencing his screams. "Dareth shiral."

The dragon had come to her side and lowered her head, whining. Ellana placed a hand on the burnt flesh in front of her and slowly started to sing an old Dalish song, a prayer for the dead. As the words drifted through the air, many gazed at her as though she were mad but Mirwen, Miris and Lori, fluent in the words, joined her to kneel and sing at her side. The Dalish followed suit and slowly near every elf, whether they knew the words or not, sang the death rite. Some sang only for their own fallen and some for them all but in the end it mattered little. The only one who remained silent was Solas, watching alone.

* * *

Cassandra trudged through the wilderness in despair. They had lost so much but still a small glimmer of hope remained within her.

 _"This was never the way, Cassandra."_

Ellana's words still rang out in her mind, repeating endlessly as she walked.

"By the Maker, you're alive!"

The shout pulled Cassandra from her thoughts just as Leliana embraced her with such force that she stumbled.

"Maker be praised but how is that possible?! I saw you in the fray, right there beside him!" Leliana continued, staring at her friend as if she were a ghost. "How did you ever…?"

"She saved me…" Cassandra replied weakly. "Ellana saved my life."

Leliana looked on her with disbelief but Cassandra gave her no chance to question as she grabbed her in to another crushing hug.

"I am sorry…for everything," she said, meaning every word.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. We survived and that is all that matters," Leliana replied.

Before anymore could be said a sound drifted across from the valley. Leliana heard it first, turning away from her to listen properly.

"Is that singing?" she asked but Cassandra offered no answer.

She unbound herself from Leliana and made her way out through the trees. It was not until she reached the edge of the rise that she understood. Still on the distant battlefield, the elves sang. She could not understand the words but she could feel the sentiment pulsing through her as the dragon sent wisps of flaming light to dance from below. Cassandra watched it unfold, seeing Solas alone at the back and the hope built inside of her.

* * *

 **A/N - My Beta wanted me to call this chapter "POW POW! DRAGON, BITCH!" Just thought you might like to know that...**


	30. Game Change

Mirwen appreciated when the Fade graced her with the foretelling lake. She lacked the skill to induce the images on her own but from the moment she gave in to the burden, it happened with welcome regularity. She was always aware, powerless to act but nonetheless aware. Each time it started the same way- she would find herself walking, against her will, to the edge of the lake and sitting down to take in the images. This time it was different; someone was already there as he so often was nowadays. The Dread Wolf glanced back at her and rose to his feet, whispering under his breath, and her ability to act instantly returned.

"Keeper, I am glad you have finally arrived," he remarked, his tone conflictingly cold.

She had been waiting for this day, dreading it but resigned to its need.

Closing her eyes and committed to playing her part, she finally spoke, "Glad? You seem anything but…"

He moved ominously forward. "You lied to me. You told me there was no path to achieve what I seek…"

"Because there is none," she interrupted evenly. She intended to say more but in his anger, he would not allow it.

"I have seen it! You may have been intent on keeping me in the dark but the Fade is not! I have seen the end I seek and how it may be achieved!"

"Then you have seen a lie," the Keeper interrupted again, still entirely measured. "One dream must die so the other can live. I told you that; I kept nothing from you. Never in all of my seeing have I gazed upon the eventuality you seek."

Rage was blinding him as it so often did. "Then you must have failed to see it, you…!"

"I do not claim to have seen everything, that is true, but I have seen enough. You wish to have everything you desire but that will never happen; it _does_ never happen. That I have seen, over and over, repeating endlessly like an undeniable lesson. One must be ended so you can have the other."

Within seconds he was inches from her but just as quickly his emotion was crushed down, leaving only a cold vacancy.

"I have seen it happen, no matter what you may say," he stated. Mirwen braced herself for what she knew was to come. "I have seen it and now I will make it real. I care not what you think or do but know that nothing will keep me from this path. If not for Ellana's love for you, I would be stopping your heart for your deception. You live only by her grace…"

"And I will die to keep it," she interjected, twinkling blue eyes fixed to his cold ones. "You begged and it answered; it should never answer. The Trickster tricked by promise and pride."

"You know nothing," he hissed back. "Be gone from this place and know that you will never be allowed to return."

"I no longer need to."

She awoke instantly with a long, pained sigh.

"The end comes," she whispered.

* * *

The aftermath of the battle with the Inquisition had been difficult both physically and emotionally but somehow Ellana had made it through relatively unscathed. The dead, both elven and human, still played heavily on her mind but with time, the sense of mourning had softened. Even still, the irrepressible thought of Cullen and his fate entered her mind with painful regularity. Thinking on him only led to her ruminating on the others; a vicious cycle that she hoped would lessen with time. Often she would find herself wandering out in the forest and quietly talking to Areina. She did not fully know why she did it but she liked to imagine her friend could somehow hear her. After so long she still missed Ari and she had become something more to her than even the friend she remembered – a symbol of all she had lost. She wished Emmaera had had the opportunity to meet her and see the value of her innocence and compassion; ideals Ellana feared were lacking from the rest of her daughter's world. Facing the days that followed had been hard and would continue to be but that was the price she had been willing to pay. They were finally safe, at least for now.

Seeing her daughter again had brought Ellana untold joy that far surpassed any of the negative feelings she had left. Furthermore, the blissful presence of her new-formed family kept her strong no matter what. Dhaveira too had brought her much needed joy. She had returned to the island needing only a call, their bond having solidified so strongly that the dragon seemed to trust her will implicitly. The beast had few injuries so her recovery was as quick as Ellana's. Better even than that, the heat of battle had not changed the dragon as she had feared; she remained the same loyal, albeit very large companion she had always been. With the Inquisition crippled for now, Ellana no longer had a primary focus and thus was able to devote more time to her daughter. The game itself had changed too - their entire focus shifting to Tevinter and what lay within. With such a feat needing so much preparation, she knew they still had time but she could not deny that the end was nearing. Uncertainty built inside of her at what the future would hold for them.

Recently Ellana had started to allow her involvement in their next great task. She would have loved more time exclusively with her daughter but she knew it could never last. Solas needed her and in the end, she was happy to take up her more formal role once again; lest she lose every skill she had beyond being a mother.

"So you're essentially saying that we have made no progress determining who has the orb?" she groaned as she leaned back slightly on the desk.

Solas raised an eyebrow. "Well that depends entirely on how you look at it," he remarked, reaching out to touch the little one dutifully being rocked in her mother's arms. "We may not have determined who holds it but we have eliminated people."

"That's the best we can do?" she scoffed. "If we're going to go with process of elimination then that could take years."

"I am well aware of the time constraints but until we can establish some sort of paper trail for the thing then we are left with little option." he answered angrily.

"And how do you propose we achieve that? Even if we somehow gained access to the Tevinter archives we cannot guarantee they would have such information…"

"I do not necessarily mean a literal paper trail, vhenan, but in my experience these details are often known by word of mouth," he went on with a frustrated sigh. "Any Imperial who possessed such an artifact, even though they lack the power to actually use it, would no doubt see it as something worthy of pride and thus make it known. If we find the right people then it will only be a matter of time before we find out who has been talking about it."

Ellana smiled, surprised again by his insight. "Hmmm, given Tevinter's personal history with the orbs I can see how owning one would be seen as something of a bragging right." She touched a hand to his cheek at the sight of his self-satisfied grin. "You're so smart," she whispered before kissing him lightly. "But equally as arrogant."

He glared at her. "If you were not holding my daughter then I would teach you a serious lesson…"

The threat hung delightfully in the air. Ignoring the plethora of items littered on its surface, she reclined back on the desk and crossed her legs. Slowly but very deliberately, her skirts fell further and further up her thighs.

"I do so love to learn," she purred, knowing the effect it would have on him as he watched.

Just as she had hoped, he let out a long, dissatisfied whine. "Oh, Ellana…" He reached out, desperate to touch her. "You are so painfully…"

"Brilliant? Worldly? Infinitely skilled?" she interrupted, batting his hand away with a smirk. "I cannot imagine why that would be painful!"

Still smirking, she sat up as he groaned and kneaded some unseen pain in his neck.

"So back to the matter at hand," she continued as she got down from the desk. "How exactly do you intend to obtain knowledge of what the Tevinter nobility are saying? Amongst them is surely no place for elves."

She made her way through to the nursery and laid Emmaera down in the hope that she might actually spend the night sleeping in her crib.

"That is the inherent problem. Placing agents in such a hostile environment has proved challenging," he replied, loudly at first but less so once he followed her through. "Before he met his end, our dear Magister offered me the name of the last owner he knew. While we were able to determine that it has since changed hands, we have still been unable to determine whom it was passed on to. Placing our people in a position to find out such information is proving far more problematic than I had ever anticipated. Even Liahra only achieved so much and she had worked on it for significantly longer."

Ellana gazed down at her sleeping daughter with a slowly forming smile. "And Cyrrian has no bright ideas?" she asked.

He chuckled lightly. "He is not a man of ideas, more action I am afraid."

"Hmmm, a man of action you say? Sounds appealing…" she remarked as she sauntered past him.

He followed her, took her arm and pulled her to him; back pressed in to his chest. "Does it now?" His lips brushed deliciously against her ear and his hands wandered. "Does it really?"

A quiet moan escaped her and she pressed herself further in to him. "No…" she uttered. One of his hands travelled up her neck as lips and teeth grazed her jawline. "No, definitely not…"

"Good…" he purred in her ear as she grasped at his slowly moving hands.

Somehow amongst the intoxicating blur of his touch a thought still entered her mind.

"What about the slaves?" she asked.

Abruptly she felt his lips leave her skin. "Slaves? That is really not my idea of eroticism, vhenan…"

"No!" she exclaimed, turning herself to him. "I mean for Tevinter!"

"Oh! That is a relief…" he replied, with a look of sudden recognition. Realising his advances had been interrupted it turned to one of disappointment. He let out a sigh but humoured her nonetheless, "Slaves are well documented in Tevinter - they do not suddenly appear within a household. An agent would have to allow themselves to be taken by slavers but then we would be unable to determine where they would end up, let alone the potential horrors they may have to endure."

He reached out to touch her again but her mind was racing too much to give up on the topic yet. "Well documented?"

"Yes, in a sense," he replied with yet another sigh as he left her side. "The humans always keep track of who owns which slave, much like any other property."

Ellana gazed down at the ground sadly at the thought as he started to undress for bed, armour first.

"That way they cannot be stolen and resold or can be caught and returned if lost," he went on. "It also allows them to keep track of their numbers as a means to ensure they could never rebel effectively."

He was shirtless now and Ellana would have been enjoying the view if not for the sombre subject. "But surely they do try and rebel? Surely anyone would?" she asked.

"Some do but many are so beaten down by decades of oppression that the idea of anything better is completely foreign." Noticing her melancholy at his words, he came to her side again and enveloped her in his arms. "To be so entirely without hope is a terrible thing, unworthy of anyone."

Ellana's eyes widened. She pushed him away slightly so she could see his face. "It is unworthy but they are not…" He met her with a puzzled look. "We cannot embed agents, Solas, but we could recruit more…"

"The slaves?" he asked, eyes narrowing. "Vhenan, we have tried but what aid could they…"

"But you said yourself, some must at least try to rebel and those surely have some form of organisation?" she pondered aloud. "Surely a ringleader would be a perfect person to bring on board?"

"But how would we even accomplish that? We would have to somehow find out who that would be and then…"

"I don't know, Solas! I don't have all the answers!" she interrupted with annoyance. "But just think - if we could get such a person working for us then we could potentially have access to every slave in Tevinter! Imagine the information that could bring! Even if somehow we did successfully embed an agent in the right household, it would still take time for them to gain the access we would need but if we're working with already established slaves…imagine how easy it would be for them…"

He still looked decidedly sceptical. "I suppose…"

Ellana interrupted again, too absorbed to hear him, "Tevinter is swarming with them! We would have the information we needed faster and have an army, ready and waiting when the day came!"

She stopped and gazed up expectantly at him. Something had changed dramatically in his eyes as he pondered.

"That…that is actually quite brilliant," he replied at last. "How it would be achieved is another matter entirely but…if it could be done..."

She planted a kiss on his nose. "Don't sound so surprised."

She turned away, finally ready to prepare for sleep, but he grabbed her hand.

"I will look in to it," he said. A smirk formed and he brought her in close. "Is your scheming mind sated at long last?"

She pushed him away with a sly smile to rival his own. Slowly, she slipped the strap of her dress off one shoulder and then the other. He stared as the dress fell to the floor in a heap.

"No, my mind is not sated," she purred as she slid a hand up his bare chest and in to the crook of his neck. "But I have a feeling it is about to be…"

* * *

The idea was a good one but the execution still eluded Solas. He had questioned Varden, his most trusted adviser on anything related to Tevinter, but he had offered little. While he appeared certain that such rebel organisations existed amongst the slaves, he had never had any dealings with them. Even whispers of any association were enough to earn death at the hands of one's master and Varden had feared too much for his daughter to provoke such wrath. Cyrrian too had yielded little more. He had started life enslaved under the Tevinter Imperium as well and actually had some involvement with the more rebellious side but he seemed fairly certain any contacts he might have had were long dead. He agreed to explore the idea but Solas held out little hope. If they were going to achieve anything, he would likely have to find a way himself.

He had sat at his desk pondering the task for nearly an hour. Ellana had left with Emmaera a short while ago and his aching mind had only worsened in their absence. Opting to abandon the worry for now, he picked up the blue journal and flicked through the pages until he found the last paragraph. With a slight smile, he read it to remind him before continuing his writing. After only a few minutes, the sound of someone outside the door caught his attention just as Shivra came straight through. He shut the book without thinking.

"Knock!" he chastised automatically, the memory of too many private moments interrupted burning deeply.

The dark-skinned elf offered no recognition of the remark. "Is Ellana here?" she asked, the seriousness of her expression completely out of character.

Solas's brow furrowed. "No… She is supposed to be meeting one of you?"

"Good," she replied with a relieved exhale. She came all the way in to the office, slamming the door shut behind her with her foot. "Yeah, that would be me she's supposed to be meeting. I had to be sure she was gone."

"So you lied to her? She will not be pleased by…"

"Yeah, spun some shit about needing to talk about relationship issues," she interrupted. "Yeah I know she'll be pissed and I'll deal with it but this was important."

"Ah yes… She mentioned her discovery of your little secret…" he remarked over her. His look darkened as he processed what she had said. "Wait…what was important?"

Reaching the desk, she shuffled about in her clothing and threw out two letters in front of him. He stared down on them and seeing that they all bore Dorian's looping handwriting, he was all the more confused. He looked back up at her questioningly.

"Found those in the Dalish one's stuff," she said.

Solas's expression turned instantly blank.

"She didn't see me or anything and judging by where they were, she won't miss them but why the fuck does she even have them?!" Shivra continued but he still offered nothing. "They're from that Tevinter guy, aren't they? The guy she was mates with from before? I recognise the handwriting."

He picked one up and opened it, scanning it just enough to determine when it had been sent. He then did the same with the other. Returning them to their envelopes, he finally looked up at Shivra.

"Under no circumstances are you to tell Ellana about this," he said evenly.

She met him with complete surprise. "But we have to tell her! She has to know that the bitch is against her! If we don't then…!"

"No. If we tell Ellana then it is done. Either the girl will be excised or we will just give her an opportunity to explain her actions away. I would find out what she intends. We cannot run the risk of missing anything, not with this."

"So then what? We do nothing?"

"No, not nothing," he replied, standing up and already moving towards the door.

Shivra followed him out.

"Is Ellana with her now?" he asked.

"Shouldn't be…I asked for her alone," Shivra replied, looking bewildered until it finally dawned. "You're going to just go and ask her?! How is that better?!"

He stepped on to the platform and she followed dutifully alongside. "Firstly I am far more unsympathetic to any explanation she may offer…"

"So?! She'll still know we're on to her!" Shivra interrupted angrily.

"As I would wish her to. I do not intend to reveal that you were the source of this information so you are still free to do your part if you have done it properly thus far," he replied dismissively. "Does she trust you enough not to presume this was you?"

"I spun her the whole 'I was just jealous' story so she thinks I'm pretty tame but she would still think it… Depends how convincing your cover story is."

He shot her a withering look as they finally stepped off the platform. "If she believes her plan is in jeopardy then she is more likely to make a mistake. Whatever explanation she offers me may also shed some light on what she intends."

"So your entire plan here is to just scare the shit out of her?" she asked with clear scepticism.

"In the simplest terms, I suppose that is accurate," he replied, turning back to her from the door. "You should meet with Ellana as planned. Ensure you have a good reason why you are late; that way our meeting here will never get back to the girl."

"You're fucking mental, you know that?" Shivra mused, stopping him in his tracks at the door.

"Yes, I am aware," he replied before he left her to the tower.

Maybe it had been the air already growing heavy around him but no one even acknowledged his presence as he passed through the camps. He did not notice. Not even when, quite fortuitously, none of Ellana's other friends were present in the area did he care. He was well beyond that. He entered the Dalish girl's tent to find her seated on the ground. She rose at the sight of him but said nothing.

"What little trust I may have had in you lies broken," he said, letters held out accusingly.

She took them from him with no hesitation, gazing down at each with an entirely unreadable stare. As though she had decided how best to approach the situation, she finally looked up at him with some vague emotion.

"How did you find these?" she asked simply.

Surprised by her lack of a denial but well versed enough in the art of deception, he kept his angry tone unchanged as he explained, "You were seen taking them at the forward camp and I had them found. How matters little; what matters is why you…!"

"The one person I cared for most in this world was murdered by those Tevinter scum," she started evenly but slowly her expression crumpled. "How do you think it makes me feel knowing she is speaking with one of those monsters?!"

Solas was somewhat taken aback - it was a plausible explanation. "But she is supposed to be your friend, surely you trust that…?"

"It's not her I don't trust! What if he influences her in some way?! What if their desires somehow make it in to our actions?!" she interjected with undeniable desperation in her voice. "If I can keep that from happening then I will!"

"By taking the opportunity away completely? She is her own person, she has the right to make that choice…"

"No, I won't take that chance, not when a Magister is involved," she added, turning away from him.

He regarded her as she waited to counter the next statement, tears welling rather convincingly in her eyes. He did not know what to believe. Her explanation was reasonable but he could still feel doubt tugging at him; the nagging belief that here he had a girl who was duplicitous beyond anything he had come to expect. The fact that she had shown not an ounce of fear at being caught was even more troubling.

Left with only one choice, he sighed. "I cannot imagine the pain your loss must have brought you. With that in mind, I will take all that you have said in to account and not tell Ellana about your deception," he started softly. His tone turned cold, threatening as he neared her. "But know this, if anything were to happen to her as a result of any action you may take…"

Her defiant stare stopped him in his tracks. He saw something in her eyes that he recognised. She did not fear the death he could bring and that realisation woke something inside of him. This could be an entirely innocent girl, a hater of all things Tevinter but innocent nonetheless. Still, he could not stop himself.

"Harm her in any way and I will burn the flesh from your bones, slowly, so slowly that it will take days for you to come close to death…but even that I will take from you. I will leave you, in all your agony, surviving by a thread until you beg me for death - all the while wishing you had been granted it from the start."

Seeing the glimmer he too had felt rise within his very being, what little fear she could muster slowly blossomed before him. That part of him revelled in it before he turned away.

"Hunt well and with each action you make, remember my words," he remarked, leaving her to her fear.

* * *

Meeting with Shivra had been a strange but rewarding experience. She had been late - a fact she seemed reluctant to explain but after much prodding, the blame seemed to rest largely on Varden's shoulders. Even with her lateness, the discussion they ended up having was so rare coming from someone like her that Ellana could not help but leave feeling satisfied. Discovering her friend's secret had brought them closer together and it was a rewarding feeling to finally have something in common that bound them so tightly.

When she had returned to the tower, Emmaera in tow, she expected to find Solas still there. He had not mentioned any business he had to attend to so finding their quarters empty was a bit of a surprise. Once she was certain he was not hiding away somewhere, she laid her daughter down and made her way back in to the office. That was when she saw it – the blue book sitting out in the middle of his desk, unguarded. It called out to her, begging her to read. She reached out and touched its surface, considering all it might contain. She turned away but just as quickly, she was back.

 _"Read it and know. That is all you have to do. Some of it you can surely understand,_ " she thought. _"He never has to know but you will…you want to…"_

She gave in almost immediately. She did want to know but that did not mean she had to act on it. She threw it open in a rush but turned back to the first page, surprised to see it taken up exclusively by a drawing. Her brow furrowed but she turned on to the next and started to read. Her expression slowly crumpled and a tear snaked down her cheek.

* * *

Solas walked back to the tower still troubled. He was not able to shake the feeling that there was more to Lori but that could have been an attempt to justify his actions to himself. He had not managed to speak to Shivra but he planned to advise her to follow with caution. Given what the girl had done, he had obviously taken measures to ensure no further letters could be stolen. With that and his somewhat excessive threat he hoped that the danger was over or at very least, Shivra would catch it long before it had its effect.

He heard the muffled sounds of someone inside before he opened the office door. Ellana must have already returned so he took a moment to devise an explanation before entering. He wavered mid-greeting at the sight of her face. She sat at his desk intently reading a book with tears glistening on her skin. At the last second he saw the blue fabric and knew what had her so emotional.

"What is this?" she asked, finally looking up.

Thrown completely off-guard, he stuttered uselessly in response.

He slowly found his voice, "A story…"

"That you wrote," she stated, rising to her feet. "Why?"

He could feel himself reddening beneath her scrutiny. "I did not want you to see until it was complete, vhenan! I…" He sighed at the sight of her tear-strewn skin. "I wrote it for our daughter, so that she would know our story..."

She looked down at the book with her own emotion-filled noise. "That is… I thought it was going to be something terrible; some monstrous thing you were planning but that…that is the most beautiful sentiment..."

She ran to him and crushed him beneath her embrace. More tears fell as she stood buried in his chest, happy for once.

"I am sorry you ever held such worries," he said, raising her chin up so he could see her eyes. "And equally overjoyed you like it."

She reached up to wrap her arms around his neck and kissed him slowly, emotion thick in her every movement. He tried to match her but intrusive thoughts kept him partially absent. He was glad that she was happy - just like he had said; but he was also relieved she had not happened upon the other journal or even seemed to think that there might be two.

* * *

They had made love in a way that was absent of their usual all-consuming desire for one another. Gentle and focused purely on their emotional connection, it was an act they reserved for those special moments that could not be foreseen. Once the sated daze had left her, Ellana abandoned the bed where he slept to finish reading. She doubted Solas would mind her leaving him to his slumber given how uncomfortable her scrutiny seemed to make him. She took Emmaera from her crib and brought her outside to the balcony with her, fearing the baby might wake him before she had finished the book.

It was difficult at times, reading back all the events of their sometimes hurtful relationship. She was surprised he had gone so far as to include it all. Every moment, even those where he was in the wrong, were kept true to how it had happened. The only changes were those that made it appropriate for its intended audience but that was her favourite part. The entire thing was written as though it were a children's tale with everyone taking appropriate animal forms. Some of the more detailed points of their fight with the Inquisition had also been glossed over but in sum, it still covered the struggle to contain an evil and the love that had blossomed from it. Annoyingly he had only managed to pen up to the point where they had found one another again. She wanted more than anything to read further but she placated herself by re-reading the parts she loved again. She found the various forms of her former friends especially amusing, all very well thought out and fitting. She particularly enjoyed Cassandra's – a gruff, very large bear. Thinking on her old friends did bring her some sadness but she tried to focus chiefly on the past.

Once she had finished, she sat thinking for a while. She ruminated on the second book, the one she had seen only a word of. She had been both relieved and disappointed to find this one had not contained similar secrets. She would not ask him about it, that much she knew but she still desperately wanted to understand. Now that she thought about it, it had been a while since she had seen it and she could not help but wonder why. With it still being daytime, sounds from below reached the tower whilst she pondered and as the sun started to set, music drifted up from below. She took Emmaera back inside and laid her down for the night with a kiss. The music had become something of a regular occurrence since the birth of their daughter. She did not know whose idea it was but it seemed the elves beneath were playing the songs for Emmaera as some sort of lullaby. In her mind it seemed illogical, the noise more likely to keep the baby awake than drift her off to sleep but she appreciated the thought. At the edge of the balcony she watched them play and slowly, as if outside of her control, her hips started to sway to the rhythm of the sound. She closed her eyes and allowed the music to take her just as a warm hand grazed up her behind.

"Vhenan, you are so achingly beautiful when you're happy," Solas purred in her ear.

With a slight movement, she flicked her hair over her shoulder so she could see him over the other. She was glad to see he was wearing at least some clothing for once.

"I did not hear you wake," she replied, breath hitching as she felt her still swaying hips brush against his.

His lips had found their way to her bare neck and she could feel his smile against her skin. "Not with all this commotion…but know that I am well rested…"

Sliding a hand across her midriff, he forced her body back further in to his and the movements she made created yet more friction between them. Regrettably, his actions forced him closer to the edge of the balcony to be seen by the people below. A cheer of the name he had not chosen for himself sounded out and he released Ellana almost instantly. He sat down on one of the large chairs with a resounding sigh.

"I despise adoration," he muttered, head in his hands.

Ellana crouched down beside him, eager to catch his downturned gaze. "Not mine I hope?"

He met her stare with a half-smile. "No, not yours, vhenan," he replied, reaching out a hand to touch her cheek gratefully. "But you know me; theirs is blind."

"And is that their fault?" she added carefully.

He regarded her doubtingly but after a while, his expression turned back to resignation. He lay down across the chair with a long pained exhale.

"No," he replied sadly. "I imagine it is not…"

She pulled herself up from the floor. "You could show them? Let them see who you truly are."

"I know," he simply replied.

He held out a hand to her, bidding her to join him. She took it and he lightly pulled her down to lay on top of him, nestled in to his bare chest.

"I finished the book," Ellana uttered quietly. "Please write more."

"I am to presume you liked it then?" he asked, a hint of amusement finally returned to his voice.

Ellana turned her head so her chin rested on his chest and she could see his face. "I loved it. Iron Bull as a literal bull? Very original…"

He laughed. "What is more fitting than the truth?"

This time it was Ellana's turn to giggle. "So you see Sera as a literal rat then?"

"She was a mouse in the first instance but they are nowhere near hazardous enough," he replied, still chuckling. "Rats are intelligent in a practical sense, unyielding, have a nasty bite and are pests; what could be more suitable?"

She slapped him lightly on the chest. "That was for disparaging a friend. I would be loath to agree with you but…your assessment may contain some accuracy..."

He smiled but nothing more. His eyes fell away in to thought as silence befell them. Ellana grazed her lips against his chest.

"Do you think she will like it?" he asked quietly.

Ellana looked back up at him. "Emi? She will love it." He smiled and she planted a light kiss against him. "Maybe not believe it all but I am sure she will love it."

"Why would she not believe it?" he asked with genuine curiosity.

Ellana gazed back up at him. "Because she will love you unconditionally and I do not think she will ever believe that you would leave like you did." His expression noticeably darkened and she regretted her honesty. "You are her father, Solas, she won't want to believe that you could ever do wrong…"

"But I do, repeatedly. She should know that," he added forlornly.

"Is that why you wrote it so truthfully?" she questioned, still studying his expression.

At long last he met her gaze. "No, I wrote the truth because she should know the truth. So often we alter our stories to fit the person we wish to portray, not the one we truly are. I want her to know who I am, not who I wish I was."

"Who do you wish you were?" she asked, brow furrowed.

"Above all else I…" he started, so confidently at first but he very quickly trailed off in to nothing. "I do not know anymore…" He broke her gaze.

Her frown deepened. "Solas? What were you going to say?"

He looked back up at her again. "That I wanted to be the saviour of the elves, my original plan completed without destroying everything that mattered but…" He downturned his gaze yet again.

"But?" she prompted, forcing his chin up with a hand so their eyes met.

"But if that were true then we would have never met, Emmaera would never have been born…"

Once he had seemed so sure about his goal but the cracks in his resolve were becoming more and more evident. It was starting to seem like he had no idea what he wanted and that thought both heartened and worried her.

She released him from her grasp. "No, I suppose even I would not have been born…" she mused.

"But you were," he added, running a finger slowly along the curve of her hips up to her waist. "And if the gods existed, I would thank them."

Ellana turned so she lay flat against him and with a hand, raised herself in to a kneeling position. "Luckily for me," she purred, palm sliding slowly down his stomach. "I have one right here and I know just how he would like to be thanked…"

He rolled his eyes at that but changed his tune all too quickly. Her adoration did, after all, come with benefits.

* * *

The real Solas was the last person she expected to see. Ellana had been occupied by a pleasant dream only to be awoken much too early for her liking. The Fade warped almost instantly and she knew he could not be far.

"Vhenan," sounded the soft greeting behind her.

She did not like his tone. She turned towards the sound and found him closer than she had expected, apprehension clouding his features. The world around her was barren – nothing more than the Fade itself. It was rare that he brought her here and that alone made her wonder.

"Ma lath," she replied, nearing him but reluctant to fully reach out. "You never mentioned any plans to visit me?"

He would not meet her questioning gaze. "No…it was a…rather impulsive decision…"

"Because…?" she prompted, unwilling to wait for him to spit it out.

He finally met her eyes with his narrowing slightly. He was wrestling with something and she knew it. The look he wore was unwelcomely familiar and it took everything she had in her not to try and force an answer.

"There was a topic I wished to discuss," he finally explained, turning his eyes away once again. "I… It is a difficult one."

During her lessons they had covered many topics that could be considered 'difficult' but never had he approached them like this. He would warn her if it was likely to be emotive or controversial but the idea seldom pulled any sort of reaction from him. Ellana desperately wanted to clarify if this was a tutoring topic or something more personal but she resisted the urge. She was already pretty sure she knew which it was. She turned away from him, hoping it would help her resist questioning and perhaps afford him the courage to say something.

"Vhenan, I… You know of the abominations of this world; you have made that more than clear but tell me - what do you truly know of them?" Solas started at long last.

Ellana's head snapped to him but his expression was unreadable, staring out in to the distance. "Well…it is when a demon possesses a mage, willingly or otherwise…"

"And what occurs from it?" he prompted, gaze still fixed away.

"The mage loses control to the demon and - from what I understand - goes on a rampage?" she continued sceptically.

"Yes, to a degree. More often than not the demon also loses control, becomes overwhelmed by the corruption of this world and falls in to madness. What happens to the mage? They do not simply cease to exist."

Ellana joined him in his thoughtful staring. "They are bound to the Fade in the demon's place? That would make the most sense…"

"Yes, in the case you have described that would likely be the result. Although they will retain some awareness of their actions in the real world, as horrible as that would be," he replied. Finally he turned to her, eyes twinkling slightly. "But imagine for a moment a case of an individual who is capable, giving willing possession to a weak demon; do you think the scenario would be the same? What do you propose would happen if a demon were to possess someone whom they could not steal control from?"

Her brow furrowed deeply. "I…I don't know… Is that even something that can happen? The way I have always understood was that as soon as one allowed a demon in, that was it – you lost control."

"Have you ever heard of cases where individuals become possessed by a spirit rather than a demon?" he asked, clearly enjoying the discussion now but still guarded. Ellana slowly shook her head. "One would imagine it would be similar but not so. A spirit possession is only alike in the sense that one gains abilities and power; control is not lost in the traditional sense. However, a spirit brought in to mortal consciousness rarely avoids corrupting influences for long and thus the struggle for control starts anew."

"The struggle? So in that case, the person can fight against the forming demon?" Ellana questioned, eagerly trying to understand.

"Yes, as much as one can fight against their own corruption."

"You always said that spirits and demons were two sides of the same coin. If that is true then surely one could theoretically fight against a fully formed demon in the same way?" she carefully asked.

"Theoretically…if one does not instantly lose all ability to fight," he replied, a smile forming at her astute questioning. "Spirits and demons exist on an ever changing continuum – they are one in the same. Just as a spirit can be pushed in to becoming a demon, so can it work the opposite way. At least, in theory."

"Taking on a demon still seems exceedingly risky but I understand what you are saying. Although I still doubt that anyone could ever maintain such control, especially over a lifetime. Everyone has those moments – undeniable hatred, pain, desperation, all of it; you would only need it to happen once and that would be it…everything you are, gone in an instant…" Ellana finally thought to regard him and saw his expression had darkened to the point of despair. He recovered himself quickly but too late. "Solas, why are we talking about this?"

He turned himself fully to her and placed a hand upon her cheek. "My love…"

All she saw in his eyes was pain as she reached up and touched her fingers to his. Their recent days had been so perfect but now she was afraid again, so much so that she was certain he could read it from her. With each moment he gazed upon her, his expression slowly turned blank.

"I… I thought it best to begin with questioning your own beliefs so you can fully consider others," he finally stated, taking his warmth away from her skin. "Another truth, vhenan, one I should have told you a long time ago but I doubted you would understand. I am sorry; I should have… Closely guarded secrets are difficult to share, especially with someone who would find the very idea foreign."

"Is this about the ancient elves or you personally?" she carefully asked, questioning everything about this conversation in her mind.

"Both…I suppose. In my time there was no Fade…it was just the world. When people bound with a spirit or a demon there was no separation; nowhere for the person to be trapped…"

Ellana's eyes widened as it finally became apparent where he was going with this.

"The Evanuris were the first – binding themselves to denizens of the Fade. Time alone could not grant them their power over the rest of their kind and this…this was how they gained it in the first instance. It was different then. Most spirits held less of a desire to occupy a physical form; why would you? Yes, one would get to experience life but it was not like it is now; a desperate attempt to pass from one world to the other. If one could bond with a spirit, prove themselves worthy and of just purpose then a partnership could be struck but otherwise…"

Her mouth hung open for a second. "But that is insane! This was something _you_ did?"

"Neither of our kinds were foreign to one another as you are now. The potential corruption that existed within the ancient elves was naturally less, given our subtler, slower approach to life. With that the spirits were exposed to it regularly and thus, more resistant to its influences. It was like any other relationship – the joining of two minds as one. In the consensual version that is; binding a spirit against their will only created problems, much like today…"

"And this was something all the elves did?!" Ellana asked, still disbelieving.

"Not all, no. It took power and will to maintain control; not all the elves were capable. Did you not wonder how Mythal survived in aspect form? When she was killed some of the spirits she had bound with fractured away, taking pieces of her being with them. One of these spirits then bound with the Witch of the Wilds and thus recreated Mythal in will."

Ellana brought a palm to meet her head, mind swimming with all this information.

"I apologise for not telling you this fact sooner but I…I doubted you would understand. Used properly, even something as allegedly atrocious as abominations can be beneficial; at least it was in my time."

"But not in this time, right? From what you have said, the world is too different and the risk far too high," she interrupted as his gaze fell once again to the floor. She touched a hand to his shoulder. "Why tell me this now?"

His blank stare found her. "You had a right to know."

The look in his eyes provoked a memory in to her mind – the day he had removed her Vallaslin by the waterfall, the moment she now knew he had intended to tell her the truth but faltered. She embraced him slowly, head rested against his chest.

"Thank you for telling me the truth," she said, feeling him tense with her words.

She knew then that history was indeed repeating itself. She gazed up at him carefully. He was waiting for her question, no doubt ready to repel it as quickly as it came. This was going to require careful navigation; to ask now would only make her failure certain. She reached up and kissed him instead and he only tensed more.

* * *

The day had been long. Walking back through the camps, Ellana could not shake the feeling that something was not right. She had felt it for a while now and it had only worsened since Solas had shared the revelation of the elvhen abominations. She had tried to speak with Mirwen - the only one who ever seemed to offer willing answers - but even she was nowhere to be found. With her last attempt of many thwarted, Ellana was certain that the Keeper was avoiding her and even with the time to wonder she could not fathom her reasoning.

Without the baby's weight slowing her down, it was not long before Ellana reached the top floor of the tower. Solas was not in the office but she only remained alone for a brief moment before he appeared from the bedroom, daughter in hand.

"Ellana! Finally!" he exclaimed, grinning widely.

She barely detected his joy, too absorbed in greeting her daughter. She took her from him and whispered her love with every breath. The little one had clearly been sleeping, eyes weighted and hair ruffled but Ellana still set about preparing to feed her as she needed. Solas smiled down on them patiently until she was done.

"There we are," Ellana whispered quietly as she rocked the child slowly in her arms. "My little love." At long last she looked up at Solas with a gentle smile. "My great love."

He came forward and pressed his lips gently to her forehead, hand finding the small of her back. She replied with a kiss to his lips. Staring down thoughtfully, he took the baby from her arms and laid her against his shoulder.

"Vhenan, I…" he started hesitantly. She looked up at him with worry but all she saw was warmth in his eyes. "Your Mother…she…"

She pulled away from him a distance. "My Mother?"

"I may have finally found her…I…." he went on, still struggling to find the right words beneath her fervently questioning gaze. He took a long steadying breath. "I know you have not mentioned her in a while but I never stopped looking…"

"You looked for her? Since when?" Ellana interrupted.

He met her gaze, eyes shimmering with deeply felt warmth. "Since the first time you mentioned her, the first time you said you missed her. Up until now the search seemed hopeless but elves gather together, ostracized by our actions and with that…it was only a matter of time before we found one who knew of her."

Ellana looked away, fear creeping in to her mind. "Is she alive?"

An uncontainable smile formed slowly across his lips. "Yes, I believe she is but I cannot be certain, not until you see her for yourself…"

"See her?" she interrupted, voice thick with disbelief. "I could…I could do that?"

"Yes, vhenan, if that is your wish."

She came over to him suddenly, hand touching the child's back. "She could meet our daughter…her granddaughter?"

When their daughter had been born, Ellana had tried her hardest to strike her own mother from her mind. She had given up any hope that she would ever get to see her again. The thought that her mother had been denied the chance to look upon her first grandchild stung so deeply that it was easier to deny herself that thought. She could never have imagined that Solas had kept up her hope for her.

"Yes, vhenan, she could." He replied, placing the child in Ellana's arms. "If that is your wish."

She gazed down at her little one and then back up at Solas - the man who had given her everything without her even having to ask.

* * *

Ellana had recovered slowly. Her mind had been ravaged by uncertainties but she had banished them; the choice no longer resting on her alone. Seeing her mother again would be painful, even more so given the life she now led but Emmaera deserved a chance to meet her. Ellana would gladly take the pain if it allowed her that chance. More than that, she felt she owed it to her mother to ensure she was in safety; although she could not deny that by merely meeting with her, she was doing the exact opposite. With the choice all but made, the all-consuming emotion of it dissipated and she could once again focus. There were details that needed ironed out.

"You are not _certain_ it is her?" Ellana asked, still seated in the chair where she had contemplated this entire time.

Solas sat opposite in silence as he had done throughout. "No, not certain," he replied looking vaguely surprised by her sudden, pragmatic question. "I have not seen her myself but the description fits what I have seen in your memories, she identified to our agents as a Lavellan and she reacted to your name…"

"They told her about me?" she interjected irritably. "What if I did not want to see her?"

Solas raised a hand in an attempt to bring quiet. "No, they never mentioned you but I had one of the agents adopt your name as a means to see if it garnered a reaction."

"Oh…sneaky."

He flicked his head to the side, closing his eyes in a gesture of certitude. "I am what I am."

"So where is she? How did they find her?" Ellana asked slowly.

"Followed the trail. After that atrocious business in Wycombe…" His expression flitted briefly to anger but returned to one of quiet seriousness with just as much speed. "…what remained of your clan travelled west along the coast; you knew from her letters that your mother was amongst them but not where. I took a presumption on where they might go and sent agents. With time, they found an elven refugee camp and amongst their ranks, low and behold, was what remained of your clan."

Ellana's brow furrowed. "Elven refugee camp?"

"Of a sorts. Our actions have bred fear amongst the humans, fear in elves. Humans are so quick to blame them, purge them from their vicinity and so, many are choosing to leave before that can happen. They know they have nothing to do with us but to the humans, all elves are the same. As our actions worsen so too will the blame the innocent receive. Run before they can act - it is rational, I suppose…"

Ellana expelled an angry noise to which he nodded his assent.

"They gather nearby the cities and as time passes more and more join," he went on.

"But won't that just provoke the humans?" she asked worriedly. "If there's one thing humans hate it is elves gathering…"

"Regrettably, you are likely correct. With time the humans will grow more suspicious of these camps and likely find some reason or another to expunge them…"

"Then why don't we do something about it? Give the elves a safe haven…"

He laughed. "Vhenan, I know you wish nothing more than to help your people but the majority of them are city elves, accustomed to surviving by a thread but still not capable of fighting or even hunting for that matter; not used to our type of life. To take them on would be a burden, one we can ill afford…"

"A burden?!" she exclaimed before he could finish. "They could learn, Solas, pull their weight in other ways." His expression remained irritatingly doubting. Ellana gazed down at her daughter. "Is our child not a burden? We feed her, clothe her, keep her safe - for what, Solas?"

He let out an exasperated sigh. "That is different. We do that out of love, in the knowledge that she will more than pay it back as she grows…"

"Then why not give them the same chance? It may cost us in the beginning but what will we get from it? Potentially hundreds more to add to our cause."

His expression softened noticeably and she smiled, rising to her feet.

"Think on it and I am certain you will see the right course," she remarked, walking away in to the nursery.

* * *

The first images Mirwen had ever seen had been unique in that they existed alone. Unlike those that followed which seldom repeated themselves, these two did, over and over, until she finally understood what they meant. The first - two panes of mirrored glass forced together to shatter and the second - another pane fracturing beneath the force of a great turning wheel. She was young when she saw them but still wiser than your average elf. She had read much, seen much more and with that knowledge it did not take her long to determine that the glass represented the elves. It seemed so obvious once she knew – simple as glass was but yet the mirrored effect, heightening the depth and the magic it reached. Then of course there were the Eluvians, so strongly associated with the elves and thus a rather banal choice. The wheel had been harder but once she knew what the mirrors represented it was only a matter of time. Unrelenting in its drive ever forward, the wheel was the human race in its very essence and all the more fitting for it to be crushing the elves beneath its great journey. As soon as she reached this conclusion, the images stopped repeating their lesson.

 _"Fate cannot be changed."_

That was what her father used to say and for the longest time Mirwen believed it too. With each image she saw, her eyes slowly opened to the truth. It was not about changing fate or submitting to it, fate simply did not exist. There was no great end planned out for us all in the stars, there was only choice and that alone gave the power to determine our purpose. With this in mind she had pondered the first images again and how the whole world could choose to keep the mirror from shattering. The first and most obvious answer was to destroy the wheel, keep it from crushing the elves in to the ground beneath but that only led inexorably to the other end. No longer forced down, the elves would rise and multiply until they shattered themselves. She had pondered it long and hard all the while seeing other images, ones that made little sense to her – blood in the water as dark tendrils rise; a doe and a raven speeding through the woods towards a bleeding wolf; crystal touched by a tiny bird, repairing a fractured landscape. It was confusing, overwhelming and she still could not see what could keep the glass from shattering. That was until she saw another image – a unity against all that was natural. It was then that she realised that it was not about stopping the wheel or keeping the mirrors separate; it was about changing their very nature.

Mirwen made her way up the staircase of the tower with little apprehension. While she had no desire to see the Wolf, she doubted he would leave his personal sanctum long enough to even notice she had disturbed the lower levels. As she knocked on the door to Varden's office, she thought of her father for the first time in a long time.

 _"Fate cannot be changed…oh father, how wrong you were_ ," she thought with a smile.

Once the man inside had bid her to enter she obliged, closing the door behind her.

"You again?" Varden remarked with a hint of annoyance. "I have been advised not to listen to a word you say…"

"I would expect no less," she replied with a smirk. "What more has the Wolf told you?"

He regarded her carefully. "I am not at liberty to say." Meeting her twinkling blue eyes he sighed. "But, the long and short of it was that you can no longer be trusted."

"And what is your belief?" the Keeper asked, coming closer to the desk and thus closer to him.

He broke their eye contact thoughtfully. "That you have angered him but remain as harmless as always." He gazed back up at her. "Whatever you did do, it must have been bad to…"

"It was the usual actually, a difference of opinion but you know how he is; so blinded when he believes he knows what is right." She turned away, pondering. "That will only worsen…pride to the last."

Varden stared blankly at her. He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off before he could get out even a sound.

"You care little for my musings, as many have before you," she interrupted with another smirk. "But know the game has changed and with it the sky will open …"

"I am aware of his plans, you need not define them for me," he interrupted with clear, ringing annoyance.

Mirwen continued to smile. "I know you are, you care not for this world and thus do not lament its passing but that is not what any of us should fear. The change brings not the beginning of the new; it opens the sky to feed the old, prolong the…"

He was still staring at her but now his annoyance was undeniable. She petered off knowing she would never get through to him this way. He was a man who needed to see things with his own eyes and she could give him that.

"You tire of my riddles but would you grant me a request?" she eventually asked.

He regarded her with suspicious curiosity. "That depends on the request…"

She fixed her glinting eyes to his, expression suddenly serious. "Watch, wait and see. As the darkness grows the plans will change beneath you; shadowed in secrecy. Remain vigilant, see the changes as they happen and keep yourself from being blinded. You are a part of everything and that should never change. Do this and once you have, act; that is all I ask of you."

His brow remained deeply furrowed. "Very well…" he finally answered.

Mirwen smiled to herself as she left.

* * *

Ellana sat waiting in the forest. Worry no longer consumed her, clarity and purpose rendering it all but useless. She had a plan and finally thought she had determined a way to see it forward. She only had a small window but that was all she needed to get started. He was late and the stone she sat upon was becoming rather uncomfortable. She jostled her stirring daughter as she rose, carefully avoiding the leather bag that lay at her feet. Just like Solas, she had her own little books where she recorded her musings – one for the elvhen language, one for her lessons on the magical arts and a third for her personal thoughts. A forth, blank currently but hoping to be filled, lay waiting in the bag she stepped over along with writing supplies. The Eluvian hummed at her side, the sound still satisfying even after all this time. Twigs crunched and leaves shuddered as Ellana turned out toward the direction of their home.

"You're late," Ellana stated as the old man slowly emerged from the cover of the trees. "Is keeping a mother waiting not frowned upon in your culture?"

Getros smiled at her and what annoyance she had, left her. "I do apologise, my Lady. Your note was vague and I was uncertain where this place actually was. Excuse a bumbling old man…"

"You are excused…" she replied, grinning to herself as he fluttered his fingers for her squealing daughter. "…by us both. Would you care to hold her?"

The old man looked amusingly worried for a moment but seemed reassured by Ellana's gentle smile. "I would be honoured."

She handed her daughter carefully over, Emmaera seeming thoroughly amused by the new person to dote on her. Ellana collected her bag off the ground and gestured to the old man.

"Come. We have much to discuss."

He passed through the Eluvian behind her with little apprehension but she was unsurprised by this. His ease was just a confirmation to her.

"I must admit your note was rather curious, my Lady," he started, walking dutifully at her side. "As hard as I tried, I could not imagine what you could possibly need from me…"

Ellana did not reply, only smiling. She laid her bag down at the base of a ruined column just short of the centre of the valley. Dhaveira was nowhere to be seen but Ellana knew she would be on her way. Their personal link meant that the dragon seldom missed her favourite visitor.

"Sit," Ellana ordered, gesturing to an appropriate pillar as she too did the same. "Thank you for meeting with me. I can imagine you were somewhat conflicted, especially if you did as I requested and informed no one…"

As she was to him, he regarded her carefully. "I saw no reason to inform anyone of your request, although I wonder now if that was wise?"

She laughed lightly. "You have nothing to fear; it was merely a precaution on my end, nothing more."

No doubt also expecting the dragon, his gaze darted about every so often but he took this moment to fix his eyes questioningly to hers. "Do not leave me in suspense, my dear – what is it you wish of me?"

She afforded him another few seconds of anticipation. "I need you to teach me how to read elvhen."

His brow furrowed deeply as the baby let out a loud squeal from his arms. "What makes you think I can do that?"

Ellana rolled her eyes as she rose and came over to comfort her child. "Look in to her eyes and tell me what you see?" Getros gazed down and then back up, confusion written on his expression. "The grey is paler even than mine…really heightens the violet, doesn't it?" She smiled as she regarded his darkening look. "Such a pale base colour…it's so much more obvious than Fen'Harel's and yours for that matter…" His eyes were wide now, the violet in them shining out so obviously to her. "I am no fool, Commander, this mark of the elvhen is not one that I miss easily."

"Ah…you have…well done, my Lady," he relented, seeming impressed by her deduction.

To Ellana his reaction only suggested that his expectations of her must be pretty low. She suppressed the annoyance the thought brought her before continuing, "You are well placed to teach me, one of the few; if you would?"

He regarded her carefully as she took the child back in to her arms. "Why should I?"

"Because I asked; because you value me; because there's a hole in the plan – pick a reason…" she replied, taking her seat once more.

"A hole?"

A shriek sounded out across the infinite sky and the old man jumped. Ellana rose as a second shriek followed.

"Deny it all you want but I have seen it in your eyes, you are doubting him," she started, raising her voice to be heard over the sound of beating wings. "I would threaten to tell him but we would both be fools to think he does not already know…"

Dhaveira broke over the cliffs with a roar, slowing her wings to allow for her descent. Getros gasped at the sight of her monumental form.

"Understand, there are far more difficult questions I could be asking of you," Ellana went on as the dragon crashed down to the ground. "Count yourself lucky that this is the extent of my need and that I respect you enough not to sway your loyalty."

The tiny elf met the hulking beast with a soft touch, one it appreciated greatly. Huge eyes turned to the child and the dragon trilled happily before sending out a jet of flames to light up the sky above them all.

The old man's eyes shone with the dancing blue fire. "Because you asked, my Lady, it will be as you wish."

She turned back to him, smiling resolvedly. "Good. Then let us begin."


	31. Sulevin

**A/N - I'm baaaack! Sorry for the delay, guys. I really appreciate anyone who has followed, favourited or left a comment in my absence (or before, for that matter), means a lot! I present to you a ridiculously long chapter of largely gratuitous fluff. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Solas, hurry up!" Ellana shouted back.

She walked alongside her friends - light and baby-free but she missed them still. A short distance behind with their child in his arms, Solas was clearly reluctant to join her. He made no effort to quicken his pace as he walked amongst what few men they had brought with them.

Shivra smirked away to herself. "Fucking coward. Still can't handle us, can he?"

"I'm pretty sure he can handle you lot…" Ellana started with her own smirk. "The near constant swearing?" Shivra's expression darkened. "Not so much. He has a thing about swearing in front of Emi…"

"Well that's just stupid," Shivra interjected angrily. "I mean, she's going to hear it at some point." She turned to Ellana accusingly. "You swear all the time!"

"That's…neither here nor there… Anyway, what does it matter? He can walk back there if he likes!" Ellana made sure to shout the last part loud enough so he could hear.

"He's probably just nervous about meeting your mother," Lis added from her other side. "If she's anything like you - I know I would be…"

"Yeah, that's going to go really well!" Lori mocked with a laugh. "'Hello there, very traditional Dalish woman who probably has anger issues. I am the man who is screwing your daughter – made very obvious by this little wailing result of said screwing. No, we have not undertaken the bonding and in actual fact, I have convinced your daughter to pretty much abandon tradition entirely. Did I mention I am also Fen'Harel?'" With the help of the others, she descended in to giggles.

Ellana glowered at them all. "That is not funny!"

But they kept on giggling. Ellana could not help but be annoyed by their joking attitude but more than that, she was annoyed at herself for not even considering that Solas might be afraid. She slowed to a stop, making sure to shoo her friends on when they stopped too.

"Is all well, vhenan?" Solas asked once he caught up to her.

Ellana took a moment to greet her child before speaking, "Fine but I wanted to check in with how you are doing."

The request hung uncomfortably in the air.

"How I am doing?" he asked, seeking clarification that she doubted he actually needed.

She fixed her eyes to his but he remained staring down at their child. "I just… I wanted to know if you had any worries, about meeting my mother that is, that you might like to share?"

Encouraging him to relinquish his thoughts so often felt like a game of chess – strategic, slow and at times, unforgiving. He met her probing with an equally questioning look but gradually it turned assured.

"You need not concern yourself, vhenan; I am well prepared if that is what worries you."

She let out a frustrated sigh knowing she had lost the game with only the first move.

Abandoning subtlety, she chose to take a more direct approach, "Bullshit!" He glared at her for the swear word. "You are terrified - admit it."

He stared blankly at her, an eyebrow raised only slightly. "I have fought in too many wars, seen things that are impossible to imagine, torn the very world apart but none of those things did I truly fear. Do you know why?"

"No, enlighten me," she dismissively added, still watching him intently.

"I knew they were my burden to bear." He finally met her gaze. "If the worst happens and your mother despises me – I can live with that. It is certainly not the first time and it will not be the last but it would hurt _you_. That is my concern." Just as her eyes widened at the unexpected revelation, he downturned his head again. "This is a first for me, vhenan, and I… I have never allowed my care for one person to affect how I behave around others. It is an uncomfortable feeling and I am unfamiliar with it."

"I would love nothing more than for my mother to like you and I suppose…in a way...that does mean if she did not, I would be hurt but it would not change how I feel about you," she slowly replied, watching hopefully for a reaction. "If she were to take a dislike to you, it would only be because she does not know you and that comes with time, Solas. I don't want you to behave differently or hide who you are; I want her to love the actual you."

At last, he met her hopeful eyes but his remained doubting. "A Dalish woman loving Fen'Harel - that is a rather profane concept in your tradition, is it not?"

She waved a hand in front of his face with a wide, mocking grin. " _Hello_? Dalish woman who birthed Fen'Harel's child standing right in front of you…"

He rolled his eyes. "That is different…"

"It really is not. If you can turn my views around so well that she..." Ellana gestured to her daughter. "…happened, then I think you can endear yourself to my mother. Do not tell her I said this but we are actually very similar. She is not a 'blind follower' type of person, especially not when faced with irrefutable proof."

"But how would I even start…"

"Oh no, I'm telling her," she interrupted with a laugh.

He shook his head. "Would she not prefer to hear it from the source? It seems cowardly…"

"No, I know my mother," she interrupted yet again. "Better I do the explaining and you just focus on being your charming self." She shot him a smile. "Worry not, my love, I'll make sure to mention that you wanted to tell her yourself but I insisted. Happy?"

The corners of his mouth turned upwards ever so slightly. "More so but…" He trailed off.

"But what?"

He shifted his daughter to the other shoulder. "You said she was similar to you and that suggests she may be somewhat quick to anger…"

Much to his surprise, she laughed. "Just throw the baby at her and run, that's my plan."

He stopped abruptly to stare at her, wide-eyed.

"I am not serious!" she said with another laugh. "Although, maybe…in a way…" She sighed, pulling him gently back in to stride beside her. "All my mother ever wanted from me was children to adore. She never said it directly but... If nothing else, she'll certainly love you for giving her that."

He touched a hand to his sleeping daughter's head. "So no literal throwing but a reminder now and again cannot hurt?"

"Precisely," she replied as she snuggled in to his side, actually comfortable given his plain clothes. "You catch on quick."

He seemed satisfied enough but his expression little by little turned grave again. Observing his melancholy, Ellana wished he would just offer his thoughts without her having to prompt. He caught her gaze and grimaced.

"While your mother is a concern, our situation is equally so," he finally said. "Orlais is one of the last places I would wish to be, considering what we did to them."

"I know but it cannot be helped." She exhaled crossly. "They just _had_ to travel west; any other direction would have been fine but no…"

"Fear not, vhenan," he interrupted, turned decidedly confident. "Nothing we cannot handle."

Ellana fell uncomfortably silent at his side. While the potential dangers did concern her it was not that which had her so quiet. Over the last few days, she had ruminated over what Solas had told her in the Fade and the truth she was convinced he was avoiding. She had intended to keep quiet until this task was done but it was proving more difficult than she had thought. She eyed him carefully as she pondered how to phrase her question, only to see he too was watching her.

"You are troubled," he stated, no hint of a question in his tone.

Her eyes flitted away and then back to his again. "I have a question…about your people and their relationship with spirits…"

She felt his arm tense beneath her grasp but his expression remained neutral. During her ponderings she had become fairly certain that she was correct in this regard and his reaction, small but telling, only seemed to endorse it.

"What about them?" he slowly replied.

"Mythal." As soon as she uttered the name, his neutrality faltered for the briefest of moments. "You said a spirit bound with Flemeth and gave her Mythal's power…a power that you then took. You see - that to me seems wrong… Mages - at least in the traditional sense – do not take power from one another so directly. I mean if they could, any mage might kill many and come out of it all-powerful. No, you took something from Flemeth that increased your power exponentially and ended Mythal as a result. What you took was not the actual power, it was the source…"

"Stop, Ellana," he interrupted, pulling himself free of her grasp and holding his stirring daughter closer to his chest. "Yes, what you are saying…you are…"

She kept on going, not needing his verification anymore, "That's the reason you didn't tell me; not some shit about me being incapable of handling the information – you just didn't want to tell me you're an abomination!"

"Can you blame me? You were bound not to take it well…"

She interrupted again, hurt this time, "No, you can fuck right off. How long has it been now? A year at least? No, more than that… At what point have I ever questioned that you are you? What you did, it has not changed you and that is all that matters to me. You have more than proven that I know far from everything but do not think me senseless. I'm mad not because of what you did, Solas, but because you underestimated me and saw fit not to trust me as a result…"

"I do trust you, vhenan, you know that…" he tried, a pleading hand to her side.

She pulled away from him. "Fine then, not trust but a part of you still clearly expects me to be just as closed-minded as everyone else you have met in this world. You should know me better than that. I have my views but they can change - as you have proven yourself! If you had just explained this to me then I would have understood!"

"I…!" he started, argumentative but trailing off in to silence. Emmaera gave off a small cry but fell silent too as he comforted her. "Vhenan, I am sorry. There is no explanation I can offer, nothing… I should have trusted that you would understand." He brought a hand to his head, expression pained. "For the sake of clarity – yes, I took the spirit that was bound to the Witch and thus I am, as you would call it, an abomination. Doing so granted me the power I now have, the power to take us this far…"

Curiosity overtook Ellana's eyes, glinting with wonder. "What's it like?" She barely paused for breath. "Does it make you feel different? Does it speak to you?"

"Yes and no," he replied, the beginnings of a smile forming at the sight he loved - her inquisitorial nature winning out over all else. "Spirits that have been bound to a being for ages become a part of them; she is more like Mythal than anything. Her time with the Witch of the Wilds left her surprisingly used to the trials of this world. It is…quiet, as spirits often were in my time – content to experience and understand without the need to invoke themselves. I still feel the pull of her will at times. Fortunately, Sulevin aligns well with my needs so it is quite helpful…"

"Sulevin? Purpose?"

"Yes. Ideal really…as if she knew I would need it all along…"

Ellana surveyed him out of the corner of her eye. She had always wondered about his relationship with Mythal. The way he spoke about her, it seemed like there was more to it than she knew. Even still, she got the distinct impression that it was not something he wished to discuss and fought the urge to ask in the hope that one day he might see fit to share it on his own.

"I cannot argue that it has certainly helped and I understand that it is markedly unlike what I have seen of abominations," she answered as she took his free hand gently back in her own. "Don't ever doubt that you can share these sorts of things with me. I know I can be a bit…'quick to anger' but I hope you know that there is nothing you could tell me that I would not at least try and understand?"

He gazed down on her thoughtfully. "I do know vhenan."

She smiled as he laced his fingers with hers. "As long as it isn't something that will separate you from me, I'll be fine."

His face fell for a fraction of a second. Ellana had another question, one she had planned to ask but she abandoned it in that moment. She had wanted to know what had made him finally tell her all of this after so long but the second his face fell, she knew that the answer would likely not pass willingly from his lips. She turned away from him to hide her own telling look. By the time she turned back, she had replaced her trepidation with a smirk.

"Ah well…Mother will probably have murdered us both in a fit of rage and ran off with our daughter before the day is up so..."

Solas groaned. "Oh, vhenan…did you have to remind me?"

"Definitely," she replied, tugging on his arm playfully. "Seeing you nervous is a rare treat."

* * *

Gentle teasing of Solas had been enjoyable for a time; even more so, when he had allowed her friends to join in but Ellana's own apprehension quickly took over. Her mother was going to be sceptical about everything, and justly so, but Ellana was convinced that she would like Solas. Her real worry was whether her mother would like who she had become.

"Ooo, Elves! Finally!" Shivra exclaimed, running out in front of them all.

Figures in the distance and soon, makeshift tents came in to view. Their scouts had arrived ahead of them and seemed to have congregated with others. Solas led her in that direction.

"Are they ours?" Ellana asked, presuming she already knew the answer. "Are they the ones who found her?"

Solas nodded as they came to the group. Near as they were, she could tell they were definitely not refugees simply from their manner. Ellana turned to those she did not recognise from the journey.

"Thank you - all of you - for helping find my mother," she said with feeling.

The only female, likely the one charged with taking Ellana's name, smiled up at her. "Anything for our Lady," she said before she turned to little Emmaera, still in her father's arms. "And our Child."

Ellana disliked being referred to like a possession, particularly when it involved her daughter but she appreciated the sentiment nonetheless. She nodded to the elf, smiling warmly and she seemed excitedly pleased by this small gesture.

"What is the situation?" Solas asked, abrupt in his disinterest of anything else.

Even with their plain clothing, there were those amongst the refugees that seemed eager to examine the new arrivals. A small crowd formed as more came to see what the outside world had brought them this time.

"All is quiet for now but the refugees are starting to gain attention," one of the elves they had travelled with replied. "Val Chevin has had a recent spate of crimes and there are already whisperings that the elves are to blame."

Solas's expression darkened and he handed his daughter to Ellana. "But no action thus far?"

The elf sighed. "None that we know of but our view is limited. We have no agents within the city and…"

Ellana's awareness of the conversation gradually tapered away as the crowd grew around them. She did not know what it was but something about them had to be rather distinct to be attracting so much attention. People kept coming and every so often, some would leave as though going to tell others. It did not take long for what she was anxious about to happen.

"Ellana?!" came a call from her side.

Solas stopped talking immediately as Ellana's eyes darted across the faces of the gathered strangers. One amongst the many was so familiar that it made her expression crumple. She had broken through the crowd; determined as she had always been, age never stopping her. Absentmindedly, Ellana handed Emmaera back to Solas and ran out towards the throng. The embrace that met her was so tight she could hardly breathe but she could still smell the scent that no child could ever forget - the scent of her mother.

* * *

"How?" was all her mother seemed capable of saying.

Ellana had wriggled free just enough to regain the ability to breathe. She tried in vain to struggle for some more room.

"Mamae, you know if you let me go I will not simply disappear?" Ellana murmured, still trying to pry herself loose.

"I should never have let you go in the first place!" she replied. She abruptly released her to slap her arm. "What took you so long?! I _waited_ and _waited_ and then I got a letter from those humans and they didn't even seem to know where you were!"

Ellana turned sheepish. "Mamae, I'm sorry but I… Life kind of got away with me…"

"Not an excuse! I am your _mother_! I have not seen you in _years_!" She stopped suddenly, gawping at her daughter as if she were seeing her for the first time. "What have you done to your hair?! What happened to your face?!"

Ellana ran a nervous hand through her two-tone hair. "I had to dye it and it's taking a while to grow out and the Vallaslin…well… Mamae, there is something I need to…"

Her mother squeezed her in to another embrace. "I do not care what you look like - knowing you are safe is enough!"

Ellana leaned in to the embrace and the comforting smell enveloped her once more.

Pulling away slightly, her mother let out a small gasp. "Who is that?"

Ellana followed her wide-eyed stare to Solas - surveying them with a grin. She turned back to her mother.

She was gesturing to the baby in his arms. "Is that…?"

Ellana ran and gently took Emmaera from Solas's waiting arms. She skipped back over to her mother wearing a cat-like grin.

"Mamae…" she started, fluttering her fingers so the little one gazed up. "This is Emmaera…my daughter…"

Her mother's joyful screech interrupted anymore she had to say. She came forward and took the child without any hesitation as those nearby recovered from the startlingly loud sound.

"Oh! I knew it! She looks just like you did!" her mother happily shrieked, bouncing the baby in her arms.

Ellana took the opportunity to look back at Solas and mouth the words 'I told you so'. One corner of his mouth quirked up in reply. She turned to her mother to see she was looking right at him too.

"Is that…?" she tried to ask, voice still thick with emotion.

With a hand outstretched, Ellana bid Solas to join them. He appeared so at ease but she alone could tell otherwise. When he reached her, she grasped a hold of his arm to steady them both.

"Solas, this is Siona Lavellan - my mother. Mamae, this is Solas. He is…" Her voice broke uncomfortably as she struggled with what best to call him. "…the father of my child and…my love."

Solas's eyes widened slightly at the last part but regained their confident look. Her mother, however, narrowed her eyes - picking up on what Ellana dreaded she would. About certain things, Siona was very traditional and at times, insistent. Relationships, as Ellana had learned first-hand, was one of those things. Solas was not bonded to her and she refused to lie but she hoped that her mother might let it slide. Ellana worried for a moment, her mother's narrow stare still fixed on Solas. She handed the baby back to Ellana and forced him in to one of her crushing embraces.

"It is such a pleasure to meet you!" she squealed, as Solas appeared to be fighting the impulse to flame his way out of this one. "You must be some man! Getting my daughter to love you is certainly no mean feat!" She finally released him. "I was starting to think this day would never come!"

Ellana glared at her and hiked her own daughter up against her shoulder. "Thank you for that, Mother."

"Oh darling," Siona purred, reaching out a hand to touch her daughter's cheek. "You know I love you but you can be rather difficult at times…"

Solas smirked and Ellana, nose wrinkled in annoyance, slapped him across the shoulder. Her mother looked on with pity.

"Poor boy…" she lamented, before turning her attention to Ellana and taking her roughly by the arm. "You may wrangle and abuse him as you see fit in your home but not in front of your mother! This poor man is the father to my only grandchild and I will not see him harmed!"

Unable to contain it, Solas let out a laugh. Both women turned to him with glares and the laughter died instantly.

"Oh dear…" he whispered sheepishly.

* * *

There had been little more time for introductions before Siona wrangled them away for some food. They had gotten away with pleasantries up until the moment they sat down but Ellana saw that they were headed in to dangerous territory far sooner than she had hoped. Her mother started proceedings, updating Ellana on everything the Clan had done since she had left but it was a short story by comparison. The events in Wycombe had taken the lives of many and that significantly shortened what there was to tell. Only five of her original clan-mates remained, only three of which she knew well. It was painful to hear it all again but Ellana had been ready for it. In reality, it was a miracle anyone survived so she took it as a blessing. Once her story ended, Ellana started with her own. She decided to go with the easy option first and recount everything that had happened during her time as Inquisitor. Solas helped her along, telling the story in a strange sort of tandem but all the while avoiding the points Ellana had insisted he avoid. They reached the moment just before the end, the two of them in love and the evil all but defeated. Of course, the story did not end there but she had no desire to tell her mother Solas abandoned her - at least not as one of the first things she was ever going to know about him.

"So then when did this one come along?" Siona asked, gently rocking the baby in her arms.

She was regarding Ellana carefully; as if she knew there was something more being held back. She always seemed to know and Ellana wondered if she too would come to know Emmaera just as well.

"She was a more recent development," Ellana replied. She paused, searching for the proper wording a beat too long. "Solas and I were…apart…for some years and it was not until we found one another again that…"

"Apart? Why ever so?" her mother irritatingly interjected.

Ellana could feel herself fidgeting beneath the scrutiny. "Yes…um… You know how life can be…it's…"

His annoyance palpable, Solas interrupted her before she even had a chance, "The point Ellana is so graciously skirting around…"

She had practically forgotten he was there, she was so nerve-wracked but still managed to turn to him with a glare.

He kept on regardless, "…is that I left her to the Inquisition for a number of years having lied to her about who I was throughout the entirety of our relationship."

Ellana somehow managed to resist the overwhelming urge to bring her palm crashing in to her forehead. She had not discussed this issue with Solas, fearing he would not take it well. At the time he had been so willing to deceive but now, it was as if he would accept nothing short of bashing himself over the head with his mistakes. She wished she had listened to the part of her that predicted this exact scenario. She thought uselessly of some way to reduce the fallout as her mother's eyes grew progressively narrower.

"It was not like that...I…!" she tried desperately.

Her mother's roar cut her off, "Enough, Ellana!" She passed Emmaera back to her as she rose to her feet. "You mean to tell me that not only have you failed to bond with my little girl but you also abandoned her for years?!"

Solas barely even flinched. "Regrettably, yes, that is the short version."

Siona stood with fury written across her features but before she could act, an unwelcome elf popped through the doorway.

"My Lord, apologies for the interruption…"

"Not now!" Solas shouted back and the man scurried away with fearful haste.

"Yes now," Ellana sternly added, also getting to her feet. "Take our daughter and go see to what our people need." He looked defiantly reluctant but she was in no mood for his argument. " _Now_ , Solas."

With only a moment more of annoyance, he was gone. Ellana sat back down and faced her mother.

"Sit," she ordered and to her surprise, her mother did. "First, no we are not bonded to one another." She raised a hand as her mother made to argue. "While I know that is what you would have wanted before our child was born, it was never something that even entered my mind. Selfish, I know, but the truth of the matter is the tradition never held much importance for me. Solas is not Dalish…"

"So he is a city elf?" Siona interrupted, looking eagerly curious all of a sudden.

Ellana sighed. "No, not a city elf…"

"Then what?"

Ellana brought her head to her hands, resigned to what was to come.

* * *

Solas had not wanted to leave but staying would have only ended poorly. The whole exchange reminded him too much of previous exchanges he had suffered with the Dalish. It angered him and likely would only have continued to do so. If anyone could handle her mother, it was Ellana and he just had to trust in her. The scout who had interrupted met him with wise caution as he emerged. It was rare for Solas to lose his composure with any of his soldiers but when he did, it still had a noticeable effect.

From what they had found out, it seemed Val Chevin was likely to move on the camp sooner rather than later. Their actions had only decreased the Orlesian's tolerance of the elves and it seemed exceedingly likely that they would see no problem with exterminating any that could potentially join Fen'Harel's army.

"Until it happens, we do nothing," Solas ordered blankly, attention focused on his daughter sleeping soundly in his arms. "They know not that we are here and with any luck, it will remain that way. We can hope that any action they may take will occur long after we have departed."

It was a cold way to look at it but while he did care for the refugees' plight, he did not see it as his concern. He was certain Ellana would see it differently but he would deal with that when it came.

Before the elves could reply to his command an exceptionally loud shout erupted from the tent he had just left, "HE'S WHAT?!"

He sighed, gesturing to the elves to attend to their tasks and leave him be. This was going to be a trying day.

* * *

"Mamae, I have seen it with my own eyes. It is the truth!" Ellana insisted with her head in her hands.

"It cannot be…it is just not possible," her mother breathed, far quieter than she had been.

"I am not the only one - there are others who would attest to it, many others. There is nothing more I can say but you will see for yourself – _it is true_."

Ellana meant to say more but a sound from behind startled her in to submission. Her mouth hung open a fraction when she realised it was Solas. A part of her was not surprised to see him back so soon; the effort to resist re-entering the tent must have been overwhelming. It was, after all, him they were discussing so intensely. Ellana fought the urge to rise and meet him. Solas could be unpredictable but she trusted that he would know what to do, at least as much as she did. Siona Lavellan scrutinised him beneath her stare as she rose. She neared him and Ellana started to rise too but halted when Solas gave her a look.

"The Dread Wolf, it is just not possible… I cannot believe it…" Siona uttered.

She was so close now that Solas could likely see every detail of her expression. She did not attempt to hide her feelings as Ellana did. The anger and indignation was gone from her eyes, replaced entirely by disbelief.

"Your daughter did not believe it at first," he finally said, closing his eyelids slowly. "But just like her…" the air crackled and snapped around him as he opened his now glowing eyes "…you will and I am sorry for that." The glow evaporated from his eyes and the air calmed. "I only kept myself from your daughter to free her from the path I must take and it still brings me sorrow to know that I failed." He gazed down upon his own daughter. "But it is done and I promise you - there is nothing I would not do to give them the life they deserve. I hope you will believe that at least…"

The old woman's expression had softened, focus changed to the child in his arms. She nodded and gestured with a hand back toward her daughter. Ellana allowed herself a brief sigh of relief.

"Sit," she said in a voice that was notably softer as well. "We have much to discuss."

She remained, allowing him to take his seat first. Ellana smiled softly at him as he passed and mouthed the words 'thank you' beneath her mother's notice.

"So…" Siona started as she took her seat once again. "I admit I am still sceptical about the truth of what you are telling me…but I will put that aside for now."

Ellana reached over to Solas, her hand finding the soft skin of her daughter. He smiled and took it a step further, handing the child to her mother so that she could appreciate her fully. Siona watched the exchange with her own warmth.

"You are happy," she added. "That I can see as plain as anything…"

Ellana's expression crumpled slightly, brow wrinkling up. "I am, Mamae…" She turned to Solas and then to her child, beaming. "…I truly am."

Siona sighed very deliberately. "Then… I cannot complain too much. Although I do wish you would consider the bonding ceremony, it might not be your tradition but…"

"Mother!" Ellana interrupted loudly.

"Fine! I'll give it a rest," the old woman relented, outreaching a hand to comfort the child now fussing in Ellana's arms. "But I do still have questions." She turned to Solas. "This life you wished to keep her out of; from what little she has told me and I have seen - it seems you live it now…"

" _Mamae_ …" Ellana started but stopped when Solas placed a hand reassuringly on her thigh.

"Perhaps you will be more willing to tell me about it," Siona finished, with a grateful bow of her head in his direction.

He regarded Ellana for a moment before slowly nodding. "Very well. What would you ask of me?"

* * *

Ellana was exhausted by the time they left the tent. The conversation had been one of the most challenging she had ever experienced and coming from her, that was saying something. At first, she had been concerned when Solas butted in but he more than made up for any worry she may have had. She admired how he somehow always managed to do that - appear and save the day. Siona had barraged him with questions but every time he answered them concisely and with surprising honesty. Obviously, he kept the full extent of their plans under wraps but otherwise, he had been uncharacteristically open with her mother. She now knew the danger they were in; the trials of the life they had built but still seemed to see the merits.

After all was said, Siona had wanted to remain in the tent to tidy up so they had at least a few minutes respite. They breathed the outside air deeply.

"Well…that was not as bad as I anticipated," Solas remarked, stretching out his arms.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Ellana exclaimed with a playful shove. "That was terrible!"

He pulled her in to an embrace and she drank in his scent. "We both survived and she seemed rather accepting in actuality." He smiled down on her. "You were right; she is like you – far more open-minded than I ever imagined a Dalish woman could be." Taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger, he encouraged her to look at him. "But she would have to be to raise a remarkable woman like you."

She kissed him softly.

"Wolfie! You survived!" shouted Shivra's boorish voice as the whole lot of them rounded on the couple seemingly out of nowhere.

"How was it?" Lis asked with a worried expression.

Ellana's eyes remained firmly fixed on Solas. "Not _that_ bad, I guess."

"You took fucking _ages_ ," Shivra added, earning a simultaneous glare from both of them.

"Language," Solas chastised automatically.

Siona's voice as she finally exited the tent interrupted them all, "Ellana, I was wondering…" She petered off at the sight of their company.

Ellana tore herself away from her love and placed a hand reassuringly on her mother's back.

"Mother," she started as the girls instinctually formed a line. "These are my friends and most trusted soldiers…" Shivra's eyebrows rose at that. "This is Miris and Lori, they were both Dalish before."

"Hahren," Lori remarked, as she took Siona's hand appreciatively.

"This is Shivra," Ellana went on. Shivra bowed ridiculously. "She is…well…Shivra and this…" Ellana stopped at the last, inadvertently showing her favouritism "…this is Lis."

"Thank you all for looking after my girl," Siona said, taking Lis's hand as though sensing her daughter's feeling.

"It is our pleasure!" Shivra chimed in; cut off by a small, well-placed kick from Solas.

She turned back angrily as though she were going to hit him but recoiled when she saw whom it was. Ellana stifled a giggle.

Siona regarded her with judgement but a slight sparkle of amusement remained in her eyes. "Ellana, I was wondering if you would be interested in me caring for your little one for the night. I would love the chance to spend some time with my granddaughter and I am sure that you would enjoy some time alone…"

"Gods, yes!" Ellana replied, slightly too eagerly. "I mean…if you would not mind, that would be so appreciated."

Siona raised her eyebrows knowingly but broke out in to a slow grin. "Of course. What are families for?"

Ellana grabbed her mother in to a one-armed embrace. "Thank you, Mamae!" She handed over Emmaera carefully and then skipped off to Solas's side. "Thank you so much!"

"It is my pleasure, da'len," her mother added.

Ellana grabbed Solas's reluctant arm. "Run, before Emi starts crying and she changes her mind."

* * *

The sound of the wind rustling through the trees was all Ellana could hear. She kept her eyes closed so that she could focus on just the sound. Somehow, she had managed to quiet all the thoughts in her mind. Even if it was only for a short while, she felt like she needed to just enjoy the moment. Solas's hand brushed the edge of her hip as his chest rose and fell slowly beneath her. She sighed deeply and opened her eyes to the sky reaching out infinite above them. She turned her head so she could see him and blew out air against his chin.

"Vhenan'ara, are you falling asleep?" she asked quietly.

"No…" he murmured unconvincingly.

She blew more air at him and he turned down to her at last, placing a finger over her lips.

"Stop that," he ordered, stern but undeniably smiling.

Smirking to herself, she turned away and laid her head against him. "Mmm…this is nice…"

His hand travelled up to her neck, grazing lightly against her skin. "It is indeed. Unexpected, as much of this day has been…"

"Unexpected? Do you mean my mother?"

A finger had found her lips, sliding back and forth along them. "It all – your mother, you…"

She turned herself over so she was facing him, brow wrinkled in question. "Me?"

"Yes - you, my love," he uttered, hand compelling her face in close to his. "It seems no matter what burdens I bring, you are so accepting, so open, so willing…"

She kissed him hungrily. "I like that last one... Do you think the tents are ready yet?"

He chuckled beneath her. "You truly have a deviant mind."

She sat up and glared playfully down on him.

"I suppose there is only one way to find out," he said, sitting up himself and offering her a hand.

Ignoring the hand and using his shoulder for purchase instead, she rose and he followed on after.

"Shall we?" she asked, offering him a hand this time.

Fingers entwined, they made their way through the forest. They had not wandered far. Solas had been insistent that they remain within shouting distance of their daughter but neither was in any real hurry to get back. It was rare for them to have such time alone, even less that was not fixated purely on their work. It was enjoyable going back to how they once were but even still; she could not help feeling excitement at the prospect of something more. Before they had journeyed from their home, she had packed whatever supplies she could get her hands on. They had so much and the refugees likely had so little; she wanted to give them everything she could. This generosity had been met with complete joy and the elves insisted on throwing some sort of celebration in return. While Solas seemed reluctant, Ellana was delighted. It had been so long since she had a chance to celebrate.

By the time they did make it back to the camp, evening was setting in.

" _There_ they are!" Lis exclaimed, looking suspiciously drained.

Ellana quickly understood why. Amongst the faces of her friends, she saw others; two in particular she recognised well. She did not have long to process before arms wrapped around her.

"Ellana! It is so good to see you."

His touch was so familiar, but that thought in itself was uncomfortable. As his hands travelled up her waist, she pulled away.

"Sam, it's good to see you are well," she uttered, feeling her cheeks starting to burn.

She glanced back at Solas. A small, blonde elf had come to her side as a welcome distraction and touched a hand to her cheek.

"Ellie, I…" the girl started, tears welling.

Ellana outreached a hand to touch hers. "I am sorry, Nesa, for everything… Mamae told me of all the people we lost and I… Words cannot express my sorrow."

Tears started to fall from the girl's eyes, blonde hair obscuring part of her face. "I am sorry too," she said weakly. "But words cannot express the joy I feel to see you again."

Ellana pulled her in to a warm embrace.

"You must tell us everything," Sam interrupted. "We heard all about your exploits with the humans! It sounds fascinating!"

He took her hand to lead her towards the other elves. She turned back to Solas and gave him what she hoped was an apologetic look.

* * *

"I am sorry I did not get a chance to introduce you but… That way we could leave faster…at least," Ellana was explaining in the privacy of their tent.

Solas did not really care about introductions. She had sat amongst her former people for a while, reminiscing and telling of her exploits whilst Solas had remained on the periphery. He did have questions but the blonde boy and the closeness he so obviously flaunted with Ellana was of particular interest.

"People from your clan, I presume?" he asked carefully.

Ellana was changing for the coming gathering but she stopped to consider her response.

"I grew up with both of them," she started. "Nesa is a few years younger than me so I suppose she was not really such a big figure in my life but she is Samran's sister and…well…we were much closer in age and spent more time together…"

Solas rolled his eyes as she trailed off. He had seen the way the boy looked at her, held her. He knew exactly what she was skirting around but resented having to pull it out of her.

As he was about to do just that, she surprised him, "Samran was my first romantic partner…in more ways than one. Kind of like a childhood sweetheart's sort of thing." She stared down at the rumpled clothing in her hand. "My mother was convinced that we would end up together but, I don't know…I just… He was such a sweet boy and I felt like I was pretending to be something I was not. I ended it and I don't think he ever fully understood why." She finally looked up at Solas. "Even after, he just kept acting like we were inevitably going to be together. I wanted so much more and I… I just wanted to be who I was."

She cast her eyes downwards again, almost ashamed. Solas got up and came over to her, a hand to her jawbone forcing her gaze up to him. He kissed her lightly.

"I _love_ who you are," he whispered against her lips.

"I know you do," she replied with a smile. She started to dress again as he watched with a decided smirk. "It does not bother you?"

"Having one of your former lovers in the picture? No, it does not bother me," he remarked, a hand sliding down her back to the base of her spine. "Although I must admit, I am envious of the rather significant position he holds."

"Aww, my poor love," she lamented for him sarcastically. "I can tell you categorically that that ' _significant position_ ' only meant that the entire thing was something of a clumsy mess. Definitely not worthy of the esteem I place on your work."

Not enjoying her tone, he slapped her behind. She barely reacted to the gesture as she turned and grasped his face between her hands.

"I could have touched a thousand souls, my love, but none of them would ever have felt like the home you are to me," she purred before compelling him in to a long, intense kiss.

He ended it with another lighter smack. "Get dressed, vhenan. We are going to be late."

* * *

The night was still young but it felt like it had been so much longer. While Ellana loved these sorts of festivities, Solas could never really get used to them. The time he spent with her was undeniably enjoyable but the rest just bored him. Even still, he saw no reason to burden her with his apathy. It was natural that she would want to spend some time with her friends and that gave him a perfect chance to escape. A distance away from the centre of it all, he stood alone. Others more interested in conversation than the music milled around but even with the noise they brought, he did not want to go further. He knew she would miss him, given time, and he wanted to be nearby when that happened.

"Hey," a voice piped up beside him but it was only Shivra. "You not in the mood for it either?"

He nodded to her in greeting. "No, just tired." He regarded her for a moment. "I am sorry he could not come. While he detests such things, I know you would have appreciated an outing. It is my fault; I place so much on his shoulders."

"It is your fucking fault," she started angrily but quickly, her demeanour softened. "But also his for being so damn good at what he does…"

Solas smiled, unable to contain it. "I will see to it that he makes time for such an excursion in the future." Shivra's eyes widened in surprise but then turned doubting. "He will listen if I insist; I am, after all, 'the one who can burn him alive' - to use his words."

"Yeah you are!" she exclaimed with a laugh, slapping a hand to his back in a manner Solas found rather unwelcome. "You're alright, you know? As a person, I mean… You were always fucking great as a leader, given all the explosions and that…"

"I will take that as a compliment, I think," he replied, brow furrowed.

She grinned at him and he felt an unusual sense of endearment towards this bizarre girl. He considered it for a while as her expression darkened beneath his notice.

"Oh fuck - it's that prick again," she groaned.

Solas followed her gaze and saw the blonde, bobbing head of Ellana's former lover – the somewhat lacking Sam. He seemed to be coming their way in the company of other elves and they looked to be inebriated. Solas sighed.

The boy appeared thoroughly amused with himself. "Ah! If it isn't Ellana's new man…"

"I am going to stop you there," Solas interrupted, already tired of this idiot.

"Do you have to?" Shivra whined.

He grabbed her arm and skirted around Sam and his elves. "I can see where this is going and you may desire conflict…" He stopped talking instantly as the foolish boy grabbed his other arm.

"Hey! I was _talking_ to you," Sam started pathetically.

Solas turned back, all the while staring at the uninvited hand.

"Damn, kid…" Shivra breathed. "You've done it now."

A voice in the back of Solas's mind willed him to destroy this ant of a being but he crushed it down in to the periphery. Sam slowly released his arm. Solas met the foolish boy's now nervous gaze, trying and failing to contain his half-smile.

"Know your limits," he commented, eyes snapping in to glow and a fireball forming in a casually produced hand.

The boy's eyes widened with satisfying fear. Just as quickly as it had come on, Solas's eyes returned to their normal state and the fireball vanished in to thin air. He grabbed Shivra again and led her away.

"Suck on that, asshole!" she shouted back.

Once they had made it far enough away that Solas was confident Shivra could not start trouble, he released her. She grinned widely at him.

"Have I ever told you you're awesome?" she insisted, shoving him playfully in the shoulder.

He rolled his eyes yet again. "Yes…too much in fact." He started away from her. "I am going to find Ellana."

"Yeah you are!" she shouted after him. "Nothing quite like sex after dominating some bastard!"

"Not at all what I meant," he shouted back.

Ellana proved difficult to find. There were many people in the centre of the festivities and, knowing her, she would likely be in the very heart of it. After a while he gave up, coming to the outer edges of the dancing crowd to take a breather. He thought he probably should tell Ellana what happened before anyone else could but she was making it pretty damn difficult for him. Eventually his eyes fell on Miris, also standing outside of the fray and very visible given her height.

"Where is Ellana?" he asked once he reached her.

She smiled knowingly. Miris was an odd one, especially when she had been drinking but she was probably the easiest for him to get along with. She shared his love of knowledge for the pure sake of it and that - he could appreciate. Not so much, when she had been drinking - drunk, she only had eyes for one thing.

"Just follow the eyes, my boy," she purred, appearing together by the standards of most drunks but so far from herself that she clearly was. "They're all staring at her…although some of them could be for Lis, she does have the rack for it…"

"Must you," Solas interrupted, wincing at her crudeness.

"Not everyone can be the eternal gentleman like you," she slurred. "Seriously…follow the eyes."

"Including yours?" he slyly added.

"I can appreciate a thing of beauty, can't I?" Miris replied, smirking at him. She turned away and pointed out in to the crowd. "And there it is…"

Solas's eyes finally fell on Ellana through a gap in the throng. She was in the thick of it all, friends by her side. The clothing she had finally selected was by no means revealing but as she swayed back and forth, tantalising glimpses of her midriff flashed out from behind the moving fabric and the curve of her breast became all the more apparent. The sight was one that would naturally draw attention. He did not know which but she seemed utterly oblivious or uncaring towards the myriad of eyes on her. Her hair dancing about her and mouthing the song's words, she was in her own world. It took some time before Ellana noticed him watching. She smirked, turning and swaying very deliberately with interest only in his gaze. Once the song ended, she looked almost disappointed that her teasing had to stop. She was entirely unaware of how much more it had truly meant to him.

"Ara sa'lath!" she exclaimed as she reached him, wrapping her arms around his neck and lifting herself from the ground. "I missed you!"

She pulled him in for a passionate kiss and he could immediately taste the alcohol on her. He lowered her to her feet and looked lovingly down upon her. So suddenly that she shrieked, he lifted her up and over his shoulder.

"You are mine for the rest of the night," he ordered sternly.

"Solas, put me down!" she whined but he knew she wanted the exact opposite.

As the jealous eyes watched, he strode away with her in to the night.

* * *

They had not made it far. Ellana did not know what had gotten in to him but she loved every moment of it. Their tent a forgotten dream, the woods was where they ended up. She had flipped herself free of his shoulder long ago, forcing him back towards the trees whilst he offered no resistance. It was not until they reached solitude amongst the shadows that Solas took back the control, pressing her hard in to one of the many tree trunks. She squealed, delighted, as his lips found her neck and his hands found her hips. The bark of the tree pressed painfully in to her back but she did not care. She stopped him just before he found her - a palm pressed to his chest, eyes shining with the stars.

"I love you," she whispered before the Dread Wolf took her entirely.

* * *

On the way back to their tent, Ellana made a detour to pick up their daughter. Her mother had fully intended to keep the child for the whole night but the thought of sleeping without her was just a step too far. Her mother had been sleeping but she understood. Despite her age, Siona could still remember what it was like to be a new mother and she was proud of the dedication her daughter was already showing.

Sleeping beside them both was a wonderful feeling that never seemed to lessen. On her side, Ellana lay stroking her daughter's hair. It had been a while since she had slept in a tent. She had grown so used to the comfortable bed that they shared in the tower and thoughts of it now only made the hardness of the ground more apparent. Her mind drifted further to the bed she had left behind at Skyhold. It had been arguably as comfortable at least until it had been broken. She thought back on the morning she had discovered the break. She had spent the night testing the stability of another piece of furniture so she could certainly not be blamed. She had carefully questioned the likely culprits. As one would expect, Iron Bull maintained a straight face throughout but Dorian gave them away with a smirk as he lied. Overarching question answered, Ellana allowed him to believe he had gotten away with it. She had no desire to open up that awkward discussion. Lost in the memories, a wide smile formed across Ellana's lips as she gazed down on her daughter.

"You are just too adorable, vhenan," Solas remarked, stroking her cheek.

She grinned at him and he returned it with a part of mocking to match her own. He downturned his features thoughtfully.

"Vhenan, I…" he started, trailing off.

Turning to him and bringing herself up on to an elbow, she gazed at him expectantly. His eyes met hers and he let out a slight groan.

"There was something…" he tried again unsuccessfully. He groaned again and turned himself fully towards her. "Something I wanted to make clear…"

She waited in the silence. "And that would be…?"

"Your mother…she mentioned your ritual of bonding several times…" he went on, still struggling.

"She did…as she always does…" Ellana prompted yet again.

He looked down at his daughter, uncharacteristically uncomfortable. "Well, I wanted to clarify that I would have no opposition to the idea."

Her brow creased deeply. "But you don't believe in any of that stuff! You said…!"

"I know what I said and I do not need some label dictated by tradition to define how I feel for you" he started sternly but swiftly his look softened. "But if it would bring your mother some happiness, however small, I see no reason to deny her…"

Ellana reached out a hand to his. "You want my mother to be happy? Even if that means you are bound to a Dalish tradition? You?"

Enveloping her hand in his, he smiled. "No, I want _you_ to be happy and I know your mother's wishes factor in to that. The tradition itself means nothing to me and is, quite truthfully, banal compared to the extents I would go for you, vh…"

She was kissing him before he could even finish her endearment. She pulled away, taking his hand between hers.

"You have made it clear you would die for me but somehow, the idea of you of all people being willing to submit to tradition is just…" His kiss interrupted her, just as she had done.

Ellana gazed up at him, resting a hand on his chest. "I do not know if that is truly what I want but…I cannot thank you enough for even offering. I will think on it, my love."

He pulled her in, turning her so her back rested against his chest as they lay.

"Ma vhenas, ma sal'shiral, ma lath, ma vhenan," he uttered, breath warm against her neck. "You are already all these things to me. Another word, no matter the language, changes nothing."

* * *

 _Ellana had not been aware she was dreaming. Some scenario had played out, she could have guessed which from her surroundings but she was in no state to. Her awareness had returned suddenly; much too suddenly and it came with a heavy sense of dread. She had been with people before, she was certain but no one remained. She stood alone, grasslands reaching out beyond her wondering for what purpose she waited. It was dark and she could not see far but she could feel eyes upon her._

 _"Solas?" she called out uselessly._

 _She turned in the pervading silence, hopeful but fear rose in her chest. On the crest of the hill behind her, she saw many red eyes piercing the darkness. All those eyes belonged to one being and it was moving toward her. Its hulking black form shook with fur but even that was unnatural – more like smoke following its source. She took a few paces back as her gaze remained transfixed on the beast. It easily gained on her, larger and more terrifying the closer it got, and clearer. She stopped suddenly in her tracks once she saw the pointed ears and realised the monster she had been running from was a wolf._

 _"Solas?" she asked again, her voice breaking._

 _But she never heard any reply. Screams forced their way in to her mind and she cowered down to the ground, screaming herself._

Ellana awoke in a cold sweat. At first, she panicked, not knowing where she was but her child fast asleep at her side brought back her sense. She peeled Solas's arm from around her waist and sat up, head in her hands. The details of the dream were lost to her the second she awoke but she remembered the fear and the unwelcome familiarity that came with it. She could not shake the feeling that something in her world was very wrong. She turned down to look at Solas – still somehow fast asleep despite her movements. His expression was so empty.

Ellana left the tent wearing whatever clothing she had managed to find in the darkness. She needed air. Music still played somewhere off in the distance but she did not head towards it. She wandered aimlessly until her tired mind willed her to stop and she slumped down on to the ground with a resounding sigh. She lived for days like these – time with her friends, her daughter and him but they could not last.

"El? What are you doing out here?"

The sudden sound made Ellana jump. She flicked her hair out of her face to see Lis standing over her.

"Are you alright?" Lis carefully asked as she brought herself down to sit at Ellana's side. "I thought you turned in for the night?"

Ellana kept her head bowed from her friend, lest she read the hurt from her eyes. "I was. Couldn't sleep, I guess."

Lis stared at her for an uncomfortably long time. "Well…whatever it is, I'm glad you're up. After everything we've been through I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you, Ellana." She tried to interrupt but Lis was having none of it. "I know you find it hard to see sometimes with everything you've got to worry about but just look around you! Here are people, _our_ people, who had nothing and now just look how happy they are. You did that and I am sure you'll do even more. You won't leave these people behind; it's not in your nature."

Ellana shook her head. "It doesn't matter… None of it matters, Lis…"

Her friend laughed nervously. "Yes it does! We're helping the elven people; we're going to change things…"

"At what cost?" Ellana interrupted quietly. "What if we are helping people, good people, just to cut their lives short for a chance at what we once had? Is that doing good? Is it right to sacrifice everything we have built for the sake of a dream? It doesn't matter what we do now unless we can preserve what we have and I have…I've been a fool. My intentions…they don't matter unless I can…" Lis stared back at her, confusion written across her features. "You can't understand… Lis, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

The sound of a piercing scream ripped across the camp and brought Ellana to a sudden stop. The gentle music gave way to silence and then the thunderous sound of pounding feet.

* * *

"Ellana!" Solas roared.

She was gone, to where it did not matter but he had to find her. The screams had wakened him in a daze. There had been running, that he could hear, and terror - screaming, crashing terror. He could relate. With every moment Ellana was gone from his side a chance that she could become one of those screams, he was already losing his control. Emmaera cried desperately as he lifted her in to his arms. She needed comfort and he swore that somehow, she knew he was not capable of giving it. The second he passed out in to the camp, a person running at full speed bashed straight in to him. He could tell from her smell alone exactly who it was.

"Ellana!" he cried out in relief.

"Solas…" she panted, struggling to catch her breath. "Humans… People dead…"

Without another word, he took her by the arm. His men awaited his arrival a short distance away accompanied by Ellana's comrades. Few other people remained and that was either a good thing or a very bad one.

"What is the situation?" he asked once he reached the familiar faces.

"Val Chevin is moving to purge the elves," the most senior of the scouts explained. "Soldiers attacked people on the outskirts but have yet to move in to the camp proper."

Solas closed his eyes in lamentation. A thought from the darkest part of him scurried across his mind, " _Abandon the elves or slaughter the humans. Choose."_ He scrunched his eyes, willing the thought away. Emmaera cried harder until Ellana took her from him. She paced away a distance to keep the baby's cries from intruding too harshly.

"Ellana's mother…?" he asked, finally gazing over at Lis.

"She is with the other refugees," Miris interrupted in her place.

He turned back to his scouts. "You have already gathered the refugees?"

"Yes," the elf replied, pointing toward rock formations just behind them. "In the caves to the south."

Solas's mind was racing but he still managed a relieved sigh. "Good. Are any of them capable of fighting?"

The elf turned away slightly and Solas already knew what he was going to say. "Some but too few. The city has soldiers numbering in the hundreds…"

There was no time, certainly not enough to call in any form of reinforcements and he was struggling to find a suitable answer in his racing mind. A distance away Ellana was quietly singing to their daughter and her tears slowly ebbed away with her mother's voice.

He turned to Lis, look stern. "Whatever happens, protect Ellana and my daughter – that is your role. Do you understand me?"

Lis and the others nodded slowly as a hand, warm and reassuring, quelled the contemplations swirling in his mind. He gazed down on Ellana - unquestionable fear glinting in her eyes, and his child - none the wiser to the peril in which she lived.

"Take every man that can fight to the refugees. Protect them and guide them to safety," he ordered. The scout nodded immediately. "Until you can escape, _I_ will hold off the soldiers."

As people moved off, he took a moment to lock eyes with Lis's understanding stare.

" _You_ will?! _Alone_?!" Ellana practically screamed, taking a firm grip of his arm so he could go no further. "No you will not face them alone! Not while I still breathe!"

He considered her for as long as he thought he could get away with. Lis carefully took the child from her without much resistance before exchanging whispers with the others.

"No, vhenan, you cannot join me and there is no time to call in reinforcements," he uttered. "I am all we have."

"You do not get to dictate what I can and cannot do! I have a _choice_ and I will not allow you to do this alone!" she yelled.

He slowly shook his head. "Not this time."

With some hesitation, he nodded to Lis and they all sprung in to action. Together, Ellana's friends managed to restrain her. She struggled, kicking and screaming, all the way to the mouth of the cave but she could not overpower them all. Solas raised a hand and his eyes glowed as ice formed across the opening. He walked away from it, mind musing at how predictable he was becoming.

* * *

Ellana bashed in to the ice with a dull thud. Even with the help of her ebony arm, her punches yielded no movement. She took a few steps back, convinced she could find a way around but it was hopeless. With one final bash of her fist, she allowed her weight to fall against the cold. Her tears flowed thick as the fear of losing him choked her. Her friends gathered behind but they were uncertain what to do or say in the wake of their betrayal. Unfamiliar faces gathered too - the faces of the refugees and amongst them, her mother. She came forward and touched a hand to her daughter's back. Lis joined her with Emmaera crying in her arms.

"He saved us all," Siona uttered quietly.

Ellana did not hear her. Head rested against her blackened, unfeeling arm, a roar sounded for her alone. Suddenly she shot up and turned without even acknowledging her mother or Lis.

"I need a large open area," she stated to one of the scouts Solas had been ordering. "These caves _must_ lead somewhere - tell me you know of another way out!"

The elf nodded slowly. "There is a way out…a few minutes away at a run."

"Good," she replied blankly. "You could lead us there?"

The man nodded again and Ellana marched towards the crowd of refugees.

"Everyone!" she yelled out. "We are going to have to run to a place of safety! All those that are able, help those who are not! We need to do this fast but I want no one left behind!" She paced back over to her own entourage. "Miris, help my mother. Shivra and Lori, ensure there are no stragglers." She turned to Lis. "Take Emi for me, please."

Lis nodded but grabbed her friend's arm when she tried to leave. "Ellana, what are you doing? He said there was no time to call in reinforcements…"

Ellana shook herself loose. "Reinforcements are already on the way." She came to the side of the scouts. "One of you, lead us at the front and the others help the refugees. I am ready whenever you are."

Ellana broke in to a run just behind the leader.

"Help one another and we can all make it!" she shouted as she passed by the crowd in a flash.

The cave was littered with debris and light was dim but with each glance back, Ellana could see that all were just about managing. Lis had understood - that much was clear - and with that, she had ensured that everyone did their jobs seamlessly. As they ran, the sounds of fighting interspersed with the definite reverberations of Solas's magic rippled around them. Ellana tried to ignore it until she saw the bright light of day and allowed herself to feel some relief. Beaten there only by her scout companion, she stopped just after she reached the open air and indicated to those behind that they should do the same.

"Everyone!" she shouted out, once again addressing the crowd as they gathered. "Stay nearby the rocks and whatever you do, do not move beyond!"

Satisfied enough people had heard, she did exactly what she had told them not to and ran out in to the open.

"Dhaveira!" she screamed out, hand to her wrist. "Come to me!"

She heard the roar, presuming it was for her alone but the faces of all those around told her otherwise. Ellana had expected she would have to wait but the dragon must have reacted the second she had heard that first dying scream. She broke in to a run just as the flurry of white tore through the mist. The beast shrieked, diving down, knowing her elf's desire without a word. Ellana heard it behind her and heard the gasps of the congregated elves. So close to the ground the long grass almost grazed her hide, Dhaveira was gaining on her with each pounding step she took. Ellana jumped just in time. She grabbed out for anything that she could hold on to, somehow finding a tendril that allowed her enough purchase to find the beasts horned back.

"Fly, Dhaveira, fly!" she shouted, holding on for dear life. "He's not doing this alone, not while we're around!"

The dragon roared as she beat her wings harder and they rose up over the trees. Ellana paid little attention to where they were going but Dhaveira was smart enough to know that she simply had to follow the fighting. She turned in the air, jostling Ellana, to pass back over the rock formation. Despite the obvious peril she was in, the wind whipping through Ellana's hair was the most freeing feeling. She almost enjoyed it until they went in to dive and her stomach lurched upwards. She could see the fighting below, see what she thought was Solas and for a moment she allowed herself to truly hope. The scout had been right – there were at least a hundred men against one. Her vision flicked frantically around the battlefield in her desperation to lay eyes on Solas once more but plumes of smoke, moving amongst the humans as if by their own volition, obscured her view. Picking up speed, she felt her legs lifting away from the dragon's skin and her desperate gaze broke away in panic. Incensed, roaring and intent on fire, Dhaveira noticed her elf was falling far too late.

* * *

There were too many of them and they just kept on coming. Solas had managed to hold them back thus far but he was tiring fast. He was unlikely to make it out of this unscathed - he knew that but ensuring the safety of those he cared for was his priority now. He held the next wave off with a shockwave that afforded him a moment of recovery. A voice pervaded in the back of his mind, screaming at him and fracturing his focus. He could not do this alone – that much was abundantly clear but he was not alone, far from it in fact. Each time he pushed the men back more came, and each time he killed, more replaced the fallen. He could feel the fear building inside of him, unfamiliar and unrelenting. He was losing control.

"Please…leave me alone," he murmured, unable to hear anything beyond the deafening sound of his own mind.

He was willing to die in the pursuit of their safety but continually the thought of how they would survive without him jarred his resolve. He was tired, so very tired. When the next wave came, he could only hold back some of their number and the sting of a blade against his shoulder shattered the last vestiges of his focus. Blackness took over with crushing force and droves fell with frightening ease but he was apart from it all. He had no idea how much time had passed before he heard the roar. It was so loud that it shook the earth, enough that it brought a sliver of his attention back. When he had left Ellana behind Solas had considered she would fight it but he had never expected she would take it this far. Seeing the beast was a shock, even more so when he saw Ellana's tiny form riding atop it. She truly was relentless and seeing her was enough to curb the darkness inside of him. The sight transfixed him until she fell. The height was less than it could have been but at the very least, she was bound to be injured. Dhaveira desperately tumbled back in the air far too late but Solas had already made a decision. It only took a few seconds and there he was, pushed to the ground by the force of her fall in to his arms. It hurt quite a lot but he was relieved to hear she was still yelling, so she must have been alive. Once she realised this herself, she turned to him.

"Solas?" she asked, barely able to believe it. He answered her with only a groan. "Are you hurt? Please don't tell me I hurt you!" She examined him with her eyes and hands in a panic. Finally, she touched his face. "Solas?"

"You are insane," he uttered.

She let out a long, relieved exhale.

* * *

Dhaveira dealt with the remaining intruders until all had run. Ellana recoiled at the sight of the decimation Solas had wrought but she was just so glad he had survived. For the first time she had faced potentially losing him and that was something she never wanted to repeat. Although both would be feeling it for days to come, neither appeared deathly injured after thorough inspection. The dragon padded over to them with a slight hiss in Solas's direction.

"Thank you, Great One," Solas said, placing a palm on the dragon's snout.

She hesitated, regarding him curiously before she slowly moved her head against his hand, enormous eyes flashing to Ellana. She placed her hand beside his to touch the bleeding warmth of the dragon's hide, not needing to say a word. Contrary to the strict orders she had given them, the elves slowly emerged from the trees. The sight of their tents and belongings, all they had left, lying in ruin should have affected them but in the presence of the dragon, all else seemed trivial. The beast sounded a warning growl in their direction, which slowed most.

Ellana's friends and her mother came forward regardless. Siona was the loudest by far; shouting, "That's my daughter!" to whomever would hear it.

Ellana laughed at the sound but kept her eyes on Solas. She gazed up at him with a smile and he met her with the same.

"I want to do it," Ellana uttered as his brow furrowed. "I want to be bonded to you."

His smile slowly returned as Siona careened in to them, grabbing her daughter in to a crushing embrace. The dragon trilled questioningly at their new arrival.

"Don't ever scare me like that again!" Siona chastised, still beaming with pride. "You hear me? And you!" She turned to Solas, her look softening instantly. "Thank you, my son."

Siona hugged him gently and Ellana could feel her heart rising in her chest. Dhaveira, however, let out a rather disgruntled whine as she pressed her nose in to Solas's back insistently. Siona gawked at the beast as if she had not even noticed her until now.

"Mamae, this is Dhaveira…" Ellana started, taking her mother's hand in hers and placing it upon the ivory scales. "She is…a friend of the family…"

The dragon rumbled beneath the attention. "She is beautiful. Yes, you are simply magnificent. Yes you are!" Dhaveira let out an excited shriek at Siona's words, tail thrashing lightly.

Her friends had approached them, unheeded by fear of the beast but the rest of the elves were another story. They cowered when she shrieked. Solas took Emmaera appreciatively from Lis, greeting her with appropriate fervour given what he had just gone through but Ellana did not join him. She had seen the children in amongst the refugees, afraid and hiding behind adults but eyes still filled with the wonder of youth. She took a few steps in their direction.

"Do not be afraid," she started softly. "You are safe. Come with me, see her for yourself."

Apprehensive eyes flitted between Ellana, the dragon and surrounding parents. None seemed brave enough to take the first step until a lone little girl came forward. Her mother showed her reluctance by clutching at her but the girl would not allow it. She pulled free and came to stand by Ellana, eyes glinting with hopeful curiosity. Others joined as Ellana took the girl's hand.

"Come," Ellana uttered again. "Come and see her."

Dhaveira watched them all, rumbling away to herself. She lowered her head slowly down to rest beneath Ellana's outstretched hand.

"This is Dhaveira, a dragon kissed by snow," Ellana started. "She is a protector of the elves." Ellana crouched down next to the girl at her side. "Go on, you are safe - touch her."

The girl reached out a shaking hand and laid it on the dragon's skin. She beamed a smile as the beast rumbled contentedly. The other children quickly joined her and soon, young and old came forward from the crowd to see the beast up close. Ellana went back to Solas with lips bowed in a warm smile.

"Vhenan," he uttered, hand going instantly to the small of her back as she greeted the little one in his arms. He was smiling too, part surprise at her actions and part all-consuming love.

"Look at them," she said. "Look how happy they are…"

He did not need to look. "You are the most remarkable person I have ever met," he uttered quietly. "Then it is decided…" He pulled away from her suddenly and raised his voice, "People! Your homes here lie in ruin but they were never truly home! If that is what you desire, pack what belongings you have and ready yourself for a journey! We will take you to a true home!"

He turned back to Ellana's shocked expression whilst his men came to his side.

"Organise the refugees so that we can move out before nightfall. Ensure that only those that wish it remain here," he ordered of them.

Ellana reached him, mouth open in disbelief. "I cannot thank you enough…"

"There is no need to thank me - it was…the right course," he interrupted, shifting his daughter up against his shoulder with a sly smile. "You were right, as you always are. Our actions on this journey are important. Once we reach home I will have Varden look in to communicating with the other camps and offering our services…"

Her kiss cut him off before he could finish, soft at first. She pulled away slowly and gazed in to his eyes.

"You are the most remarkable man," she stated before kissing him again.


	32. The True Deceiver

Cassandra paced the war room. Leliana paid her no mind but Dorian's eyes followed her around the table. He had returned to them a day ago with more resistance than they would have liked. Unlike Leliana, Cassandra had accepted that defeat at the hands of Solas and his army was a very real possibility. That had at least afforded her a swifter recovery but she was not one to give up easily. So eager was she that waiting for Josephine was proving painful but she was glad when she did finally arrive.

"Look who's up!" Josie shouted through from the corridor.

Using the momentum she already had from her pacing, Cassandra came to stand in the open doorway. Her heart rose in her chest at the sight of Cullen, insistently supported by Josephine but still making his way down the corridor largely by himself. He had been severely burned by the dragon's onslaught, to the point that the healers were not certain he would ever recover. He proved them all wrong. His face was mercifully unaffected on account of his well-placed shield but she could still see the burn marks creeping up from the neckline of his tunic. He moved with difficulty but with each passing day, the pain seemed to lessen or at the very least, his resolve grew stronger.

"Commander, how nice of you to finally join us," Cassandra jested with a warm smile.

He smiled weakly back at her before Leliana greeted him with equal warmth. Only Dorian remained back. He had seemed to take the idea of Ellana fighting them poorly and the times he saw Cullen only seemed to worsen that for him. Cassandra got the overwhelming impression that he blamed himself.

"We should have a chair brought," Josephine remarked, reluctantly releasing Cullen from her grip.

"No, I will be fine," he added, quiet but nonetheless strong-willed.

Grudgingly, Josephine nodded and gave him some room. Cassandra closed the door and came forward to the table unable to diminish the gentle smile creasing her skin. In her worst moments, she had been certain they had lost him and to see him now, it brought her courage she had thought long gone.

"Good to have you back," she said softly. He nodded, seeming capable of little more in his discomfort but she could still recognise the returned feeling. "On to the matter at hand…"

"We are no further in garnering support from the Magisterium," Josephine interrupted, her business-like self once again. "The majority of their representatives refuse to even meet with us."

"Then we will have to find a way to make them listen," Cassandra added, turning her eyes to Dorian.

He stood, eyes closed in seeming frustration but beneath that, it seemed to be more. "It is as I said – they have noted the threat but as far as they are concerned, Solas is nothing more than an elf at the head of an army of other elves…"

Leliana weighed in, "Then how do they explain the dragon?"

Dorian sighed, vision darting away from her. Their failure and loss had taken much from Leliana – at times, she was broken. Even now, a rare moment where she had found some strength, it was difficult to see her so far from what she once was.

"They believe it to be a falsehood or at most, an exaggeration," he finally replied. "A dragon of that size, at least one not corrupted by the Blight, has not been seen in ages. To suggest one exists, let alone could be commanded by some Dalish elf is an absurdity, in their view…"

Cassandra scoffed loudly which drew a glare from him.

"You have seen it but you can imagine how ridiculous it would sound if you had not. Try to understand their perspective and we may make some actual progress," he added making Cassandra feel somewhat sheepish. "From what little I am privy to, measures are being taken to track down any unknown elves but not much else beyond that. If we could arrange a meeting with Orlesian representatives who could corroborate then that may sway them some way towards belief but the reality is - we have little option but to wait."

"Wait?! For what?" Cassandra angrily asked.

Dorian sighed yet again. "For the elves to prove themselves. Tevinter is watching, waiting for them to leave the shadows and when they do, all it will take is one push." He closed his eyes and spoke as if for only himself, "Have faith. No matter what, we must have faith."

* * *

Few of the elven refugees had not heard of Fen'Harel and his army. Some of those that disliked the upheaval their actions had caused refused to come with them and as far as Solas was concerned, that was their choice. Even still, Ellana tried desperately to convince them. She knew the path, knew it could only get worse and that elves out on their own would be the ones to suffer. Too afraid, many fell to her argument but the few remained unflinching in their refusal. Those were the only people they left behind. Everyone else – men and women, old and young – followed them back through the Eluvian to the place they called home.

They settled in surprisingly well. While it was an undoubted burden creating homes and providing for them, it was not out with their means. Ellana had been right - the refugees did seem eager to learn and pull their weight. Once the initial time of uncomfortable unfamiliarity had passed, they quickly fractured away from one another to join the groups of people they identified with most. From that, they eagerly started to learn the skills they would need to fill the role they had chosen amongst the crowd. Having Ellana's mother around had also been a great boon for them both. She was keen, as was her right, to get to know her granddaughter and that afforded them so much more time - both for their work and for each other.

Most of this had passed by beneath either of their true notice. Ellana especially had been exceedingly distracted following their return and with good reason. She had told her mother that she intended to undertake the bonding ceremony with Solas and that had opened the floodgates. It seemed every detail had to be planned out meticulously. While Solas had no real interest in this, Ellana was warming to the idea - unexpected as that was. There must still have been a part of her, the young typically Dalish girl buried inside, that had wished for this day in spite of how she had grown. Solas, at least, seemed thoroughly amused by the notion – watching her excitement adoringly whilst somehow resisting the urge to mock. Unfortunately for him, Ellana also got her chance for amusement. Her mother had come by the other night with a hand-written copy of the Lavellan Clan's traditional bonding vows. They were two pages long and, from what she saw, the elven so fractured that he would have to memorise the words rather than the meaning. Whenever he sat desperately trying to commit the words to heart, Ellana could do little to contain her smile.

It was that very task that she left him to as the midday sun began its descent west. As she ascended the staircase to her mother's quarters, she had already surmised that she would not find her there. When they had first returned home with the refugees, Siona had intended to make camp with the others. Ellana had seen no harm in this but Solas grew increasingly insistent that the tower was the safest and most comfortable place for her. While Ellana slowly came around to his way of thinking, she knew that her mother never would. She was a Dalish elf through and through - not used to fixed buildings or plush surroundings. Ellana hoped that she would get used to it with time but so far, that was not happening.

Progress through the camps was slow, worse so when she reached the area carved out for the refugees. Whispered discussions and stares of veneration hounded her - the bold stopping her on her path with hastily delivered murmurs of thanks. She appreciated the desire, happy to dutifully accept their words and offer her own but she was left with a hollow feeling. No matter what was said, it could not quiet her own repeating sentiment that she deserved none of it.

Siona's voice could be heard long before she came in to view. Seated amongst what remained of her clan as well as a myriad of newfound followers, she was in her element. Ellana had never understood the desire to be the centre of attention. She preferred a life on the periphery - even if that was seldom achieved. She waited, still listening to the discussion with enjoyment but out of sight. She hoped in vain that a pause would give her a chance to steal away with her daughter unnoticed.

"You, nervous?" a voice sounded out from behind her. "That's new."

Ellana turned to find him too close for comfort and flinched all too noticeably. It had been what felt like an eternity but the mere sight of Sam still bore this reaction from her. Akin to the sudden appearance of a superior, Ellana felt the jarring compulsion to behave a certain way. The difference now was that it went no further than the feeling.

She shook her head. "No, not nervous but I have little time for pleasantries."

She hoped he would take the hint and leave her alone. Whenever Ellana was forced to follow her mother out in to the camps, he was always there and no matter how many times she tried, he never took the hint. She had grown rather tired of him, in honesty. He had taken great joy in telling both her and her mother of Solas's 'abhorrent behaviour' – as he called it, and she could do little but resent him for it. Courtesy of the man himself, Ellana knew the whole story long before Sam got to her but her mother did not. She was far more willing to accept Samran's exaggerated version of events. Changing her understanding was a tiresome task but what Ellana resented most was the rift it had caused between Solas and her mother - even if it was only temporary.

Sam placed a hand on her shoulder. He likely intended to turn her to him but the slightest touch made her flinch again.

"No time?" he went on, the disgruntled expression he wore a clear symptom of his wounded pride. "You've changed, El. You're usually out there with her – at least, you were…back then…"

"Back then I did whatever I thought she would want me to do but now…well…" She turned to him. "I am who I am; who I _always was_ and I'm no longer afraid to let it show."

He shifted uncomfortably. "You sure about that? The girl I knew was sweet and kind, all of this…"

"You suggest I am not those things?" she interrupted with bite. A couple of steps brought her closer to him. "You don't know me. You don't know my life nor do you have any right to judge what I do or whom it is with." He made to interject but she talked on over him, volume rising with each word. "You _never_ knew me. That may have been out with your control but do not even hazard to think that you hold any right to judge me now. You _never_ …"

" _Ellana_!"

Her mother's chastising voice jolted her out of finishing her tirade. The pained look on Siona's face communicated that her voice must have become loud enough for at least her mother to hear, if not everyone else. She turned her gaze back to Sam to find his eyes glistening with the beginning of tears before taking her mother's outstretched arm and leaving him alone once again.

"That poor boy," her mother lamented quietly as she led her away.

Angered still, Ellana held no wish to encourage such discussion. "Where's Em?"

Her mother brushed passed her question, "That was entirely unwarranted, Ellana. That boy was…"

"I don't care who he _was_ ," Ellana interrupted, seething. "Why must you insist on forcing me to come here anyway?! Don't you think I have enough to be dealing with? And don't say it's not on purpose! You know exactly when I'll be coming for Em and every bloody time, where do I find you?! Not in your home – _no_ , of course not!"

Siona pulled her to a stop, ensuring her daughter looked at her. "I meant nothing by it. This is where I want to be, nothing more."

Ellana rolled her eyes. " _Right_ …and what about Em? You know you're not supposed to go wandering with her – it isn't safe."

"It's perfectly safe!" her mother loudly interrupted. "Who would want to harm a young child?!"

"Plenty of people! We have talked about this! There are people out there who would do just about anything to get to Solas and Em is…"

"Yes, I know – the great Fen'Harel's one weakness!" Siona added in a mocking tone. "I'm sorry Ellana, but it's just a bit much. I think, with everything, you're both getting a bit paranoid…"

"Justifiably paranoid, _Mother!_ Look, I know you don't accept for a minute that he is what he says he is but _you can_ see all of this!" Ellana interjected angrily, waving her arms wildly. "These people are not here for fun and you must have heard all the stories by now. We are at war with just about everyone and even if you don't accept that Solas is actually Fen'Harel; he still has a line of enemies that grows with every damn day. So I would appreciate if you wouldn't parade our daughter about where just about anyone could get to her!"

Her mother placed an appeasing hand gingerly upon her shoulder. "Ellana…I…" She sighed. "I apologise, I should not tease. I do understand that there is danger I just… Regardless of whom he claims to be, he is good for you – I see that. If it is your wish then I will remain in my… _home_ …when I am with Emmaera…"

Eyes fixed to anywhere but her mother's face, Ellana could not help but feel a twinge of guilt. It was a rare thing to see her mother offering any form of compromise and to see it now, said a lot.

"That would be helpful," she started with the intention of remaining steadfast but the guilt overcame. "Look, I'm sorry that it has to be this way. I know you would do everything in your power to keep her safe but…Mamae, you're not as young as you once were…" Her mother glared at her for that comment. "What I mean is - if Solas or I are with you then it's a different story but otherwise… I just want to be certain she is safe, Mamae, surely you can understand that?"

Progress had brought them to a small tent near the centre of the encampment where within, Emmaera lay fast asleep in comfort. Siona gazed down on the child lovingly as she lifted her gently in to her arms.

"I understand, da'len," she said, passing the child to her daughter with a warm smile. "But we shall discuss it further tonight. I would hazard to think that her father would be just as reluctant to offer an escort but it will be rather entertaining to ask."

Ellana, distracted briefly by her daughter's presence, still managed enough attention to raise an unamused eyebrow.

* * *

Ellana paced about the room muttering. She had repeated this so many times she had lost count but it still had not been committed to memory. She shut her notebook and closed her eyes.

"… _not just my heart, you are my blood flowing through me and giving me life,_ " she muttered in hopefully perfect elvhen. " _I swore never to be bound but…_ "

She paused, scrunching up her eyes. With a loud groan, she opened the book and read the lines she had forgotten before throwing it down on the bed in frustration. She slumped down next to it and sighed. Time alone continued to be a struggle for her. Rather surprisingly, Cyrrian had come up with a lead on the slaves and her team had gone to follow it. Initially they had not been considered for the job and truth be told, Ellana had not considered it either. It was not until her friends came to her and asked if they could take part, that she orchestrated their involvement. It had apparently been Lori's idea and Ellana supposed she had every right to be directly involved in taking down Tevinter. Cyrrian fought her at first but all she had to do was convince Solas and he was overruled. Unfortunately for Ellana, it was to be a number of days in the field and with Emmaera still so young, there was no way she could go with them. The days they had been gone passed by painfully slowly as she tried to keep herself busy. Solas's near constant commitment to his work certainly did not help.

Ellana got up from the bed and made her way through to the nursery. Emmaera was still fast asleep in her crib but she took a moment to watch her adoringly. She sighed again as she paced back out to the bedroom. Judging by the height of the sun, she had at least an hour until they were expected at her mother's and nothing to do. She listened at the door before passing out in to the office. Still sitting at his desk, Solas did not look up as she snuck around behind him. She rested her forearms on his shoulders and her head on top of his. Judging by the fact he did not react, her attempts at sneaking had failed.

"Vhenan…" he greeted with a hint of bother as her hair dangled down and covered the book he had been reading. "Have you come to me because you are bored by any chance?"

She smiled against his cheek and her hands wandered on to his chest. "Maybe a little…"

He was already leaning back in to her touch so she knew he was willing but still, he sighed. "I should really stay focused…"

Ellana took her hands from him and in their absence, his eyes snapped open.

"You have been working too hard, my love," she purred, enjoying his gaze on her. "You need a way to unwind…"

He raised an eyebrow. "And what would you suggest?"

His eyes widened only slightly as she knelt down in front of him.

"Oh, I know just the thing," she uttered, sliding her hands slowly up his thighs and biting her lip. "Sit back, my love, let me take care of you."

A smirk formed across his lips but she missed it with all her fumbling. When she finally thought to look up, his eyes gleamed mischievously.

"A kind favour, I'm certain," he remarked slyly. He took a hold of her busy hands. "But I have work to do and your desire to distract me will not succeed easily."

He released her hands and with a flourish, picked up his book to continue his reading over her head. She glared up at him. Deciding finally to call his bluff, a corner of her mouth rose.

"We will see," she asserted, wetting her lips and resuming her activities.

She felt his breath hitch almost immediately but he still tried to maintain the façade. Bit by bit, it faded along with anymore hint of amusement. The book above her pressed down on her head as his grip weakened. She was about to pull back and make a snarky comment when a knock at the door brought her jumping back instead. Still in the throes, Solas took longer than she did to recover but the gleam in his eyes was back. He laughed lightly before she could react.

"Come in," he bid of whoever had knocked.

Ellana made to free herself from beneath the desk but he moved in, the position of his legs pinning her in place. Before she could even voice her displeasure, she heard the door to the office opening and whatever chance she had of escaping without embarrassment was gone. He had trapped her and he knew it, judging by the quiet chuckling. She would have loved nothing more than to punch him somewhere sensitive but even that would have only led to her humiliation. She leaned against the wooden surface at her back with a silent groan. From what she could hear, it sounded like he was conversing with multiple people, all of whom she did not recognise. She sat for a moment pondering ways she could trap him in an equally compromising position when her eyes and then her mind fell on something. She grinned. If he wanted to play this game then she was not about to sit under his desk unoccupied, not with an activity so obviously presenting itself. The slight gasp he emitted when she resumed her touch was immensely satisfying. He had been in the middle of a word, cut off by just the feeling of her lips against his skin. It only got better as he desperately tried to regain his speech under the pressure. His hands travelled beneath the desk but he could do little with her teeth so precariously placed. Ellana smiled, certain he could feel her giggling against him as he tried in vain to hold a conversation. It was thoroughly amusing while it lasted - a man so in control stumbling over his words, undone so easily. He sent their visitors away swiftly but even after the door shut, she kept up her activities beneath the desk.

"Well played, vhenan," Solas uttered, fist balling in her hair as he finally let himself go. " _Very_ well played…"

* * *

They were late, albeit marginally, but her mother still saw fit to mention it. She had always been a stickler for maintaining commitments and her grievance from earlier did little to help. She remained resentful of being cooped up in the tower but Ellana still hoped that trying to bring some sense of home to the place might change that. That was where the idea of their visits had stemmed. In her mind, if this place made her mother think of family then she would come to enjoy it more quickly. Solas was taken aback by the suggestion, he had tried to hide it but Ellana saw right through him. Not that she thought he disliked her mother but it seemed that the entire concept of family was alien to him. Even Ellana had to admit that her mother could be a difficult person to understand. Much of what she did, even without the intent of malice, oftentimes seemed harsh. In her own way, she was strict and if she felt you had done something wrong, you were certain to know about it. With Sam's meddling, Solas had come to know this first hand. Ellana had tried to calm the waters before they had come together but she should have just left it to Solas – one conversation all he needed to turn her mother over to the true nature of events. After that, the air between them all became oddly calm. Time was still needed for Solas and her mother to come to understand one another but for now at least, it was more of a pleasure than Ellana had ever imagined it would be. She no longer felt dread the moment before they met and she sensed a change in Solas's attitude too. Her mother, she did not need to sense. She quite happily stated it for all to hear.

"I told you she would accept you," Ellana mused as they re-entered their own quarters.

Holding the sleeping baby, Solas only shrugged. Ellana planted a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Yes, there was some nagging and teasing but as far as my mother goes, that was practically declaring her love for you," she went on in his silence, padding about the room. "She even seemed more open to…well…" She gestured around her. "…all of this! The whole bonding palaver has certainly panned out to be one of the best things we could have done. If I had known it would have yielded these sorts of results, I would have suggested it myself!" She came to a stop in front of him, smiling widely. "I honestly did not think I would be saying this so soon but I think Mamae really likes you."

He gazed down on her questioningly. "And that pleases you?"

"It does," she replied, bringing her lips to his and then taking their daughter from him.

She walked through to the nursery and laid the child down in her crib. With a satisfied sigh, she crouched over and watched the little one sleep. Solas came to perch in the doorway and feeling his gaze on her, Ellana turned to him. A glint of sadness occupied his eyes and she stopped, brow furrowing with concern.

Her questioning stare was enough to make him speak, "You are happy… Right now you are happy…" She came to rest right in front of him still not understanding. "This is enough for you…"

Ellana could not tell if it was a question or a statement but either way it did not matter - she knew exactly what had him so troubled. She did not know whether to hide or take the opportunity.

"If it was, would that be so wrong?" she started, somewhere in the middle. "I am happy and so are you, I can tell. If it could…if it ever could, would it be so bad just to stay this way? Stay happy…"

He pulled away from her almost instantly. Mouth open, face contorted in anger, he looked ready to argue but nothing came out. His expression slowly fell as he gaped in to her desperate eyes. He looked away sadly. "It can't. Not…" He trailed off in to uncomfortable silence before meeting her imploring gaze again. "It is too late, vhenan."

Something broke inside of her. "But why?! I know we have done much to earn the hatred of the humans but none of it can be said not to have benefitted our people! Even now, we seek to free those in slavery! Yes, for another purpose entirely but why…" She trailed off at the sight of his expression, pained beyond anything she had seen of him before. She grabbed at him desperately. "We are happy, Solas, and together. Who knows what the future will bring! Why not..."

He shook his head, eyes fixed to hers. "It is too late, vhenan," he repeated blankly before leaving her alone in their bedroom.

* * *

Ellana awoke the next morning with a sore head. She had slept poorly, intrusive thoughts occupying her mind. Solas had not said another word to her all night. He did not seem angry, from what little she could tell, but his silence said much. She had seen it in his eyes - the wonder, the wishing she too had felt – and for a second, she dared to hope. She cursed herself for doing that and more so, for even daring to say what she had.

Ellana turned herself over in the bed, taken aback by the sight of Solas sleeping beside her. She wondered what he had been thinking when he came to bed, so late that she must have been asleep. She hoped it was forgiveness at the very least, if not hope. She ruffled her hair out as she rose, careful to remain quiet. Emmaera was stirring in the room beyond and she had no desire to let the sounds wake him prematurely. She tiptoed over to the nursery and fed the child behind the closed door. Thoughts flurried through her mind as she silently dressed herself and the baby in clean clothing. Persistently she focused on resentment - a lie she felt she had been told long ago tugging her will. Solas turned over in the bed, appearing still asleep as she left to gain answers from the one person who seemed to hold them all.

The light outside was dim - early as it was - and few people wandered the camps. Those that did seemed to have a task in mind and thus ignored her path. She reached Mirwen's tent quicker than she had expected but that could only be a good thing. Ellana hoped that by catching the Keeper so early she might get some answers before she could be avoided once again. She had missed the Keepers words - the feeling that the truth lay somewhere within the confusing statements was strangely comforting. It was like a problem to be solved and that, she could deal with. At least, she hoped she could.

Light emanated from the tent as she passed through the doorway without as much as a greeting. Mirwen sat propped up reading by a small puff of veil fire, eyes twinkling in the aquamarine light.

"My child," she greeted. "Well this is unexpected…"

With a flick of her hand, the fire ascended over them to light the room. Ellana watched her warily as she rose.

"You're not going to run, are you?" she asked, shifting Emmaera to her other shoulder in preparation.

The old woman smirked as she took a seat in one of the chairs beside the table, bidding Ellana to do the same. "Why would I run? Do I have something to fear from you?"

"You tell me," Ellana replied rather abruptly. "You're the one who has been avoiding me like a plague."

As Ellana took her seat, Mirwen chuckled lightly. "Avoiding unsuccessfully, it would seem…" She trailed off with another laugh. "My dear girl, times are changing and with that…" She trailed off again, this time in thought. "I would be loath to give you too much..."

"Too much?!" Ellana interrupted angrily. "What does that even mean?! Say what you want me to know for once! Please!"

The Keeper regarded her for a painfully long moment. From what little Ellana could tell, it was as if she were wrestling with something. With a shake of her head, so slight that only the perceptive could notice, Mirwen sighed deeply.

"I could ask you a similar question. You skirt around the issue in much the same way as I, only you know we will reach your point of clarity. I would much prefer we reach it sooner. Is it not always a question that brings you to me?"

Ellana looked away, defeated. The Keeper reached out a hand and touched it to her shoulder, eyes twinkling knowingly.

"What was the question, my child?" she asked again.

Ellana kept her gaze down; the thought of it, the lie and the fear tearing at her being as it had done for too long. " _Why me_?" Suddenly she looked up at the Keeper, eyes luminous with found strength. "You waited for me, refused to help him until I came to you. Why? You said you saw me in a dream and at first, I took that as an explanation in and of itself but I know better now. You chose me for a reason - because you saw something and without that, you were unwilling to act. Why? Tell me _why_!" Her voice had gradually risen in volume but the Keeper kept her cool. "I thought I knew the answer…thought you somehow knew what I intended but…"

"She carries only the few items that matter to her," Mirwen interrupted; expression so blank, she could well have been gone from this world. "The bed creaks as she touches it and she smiles, hiding the items beneath the break that no one else knows of. She intends to reclaim them some day." Ellana's eyes slowly widened with each word but Mirwen kept on regardless, "She leaves in the night, fury still her predominant focus. It takes weeks for the sowing of her hurt to take shape but even after all that time she is resolved. But time is her enemy; time to think, time to forgive and slowly the anger fades amongst those she comes to care for."

"Stop," Ellana interjected weakly.

"She starts to avoid her goal in any way she can, resolve so weakened and façade so strong that it has become her. It is not until he finds her once again that the anger returns, all consuming in its force but not alone. The sight is enough to awaken something she had long given up on; something that could change everything; something that only he could…"

"Stop!" Ellana yelled, getting suddenly to her feet. "Please! Stop!"

The child in her arms stirred but did not wake. An uncomfortable silence passed and Ellana sat back down beneath Mirwen's intense stare.

"I know what you intended…" she finally said.

Ellana passed a hand across her head. "Could you not have just said that?!"

The old woman smiled to herself. "And what do you propose I would have said? That I had always known that you were the true deceiver, not he? That there had once been a time where you intended to topple his plans by any means necessary? That even the idea of ending his life…"

"Don't say it!" Ellana practically screamed, rising once more.

A stare passed between them, the beginnings of tears evident against the backdrop of grey irises. Expression remaining crumpled, Ellana sat back down with a quick brush of her eyelids.

"I get it, alright…I get it," she said in a resigned voice. She met the Keeper's gaze again. "But that still does not answer my question. If you know all… _that_ …then you must know I am failing in every respect. No matter what I do…I cannot…"

"Your intentions were only a part of the picture, my dear girl. You were fated to fail in your path," Mirwen added thoughtfully as Ellana struggled. "You seek to force surrender with a question, typical of you but change does not come so easily…"

Ellana could take little more. "Then tell me! Tell me what I need to do and I will do it! Please!"

The Keeper watched her carefully for a moment and then shook her head. Ellana let out an angry noise.

"Why not?! You waited for me, waited in the hope that I could be the one to keep this world from destruction! So tell me how I do that?! I cannot convince him and no matter how much I may want to protect my people, I could never betray him. I…I know that now. If you won't help me then at least tell me why!"

Mirwen brushed a hand across her head. She was clearly tired but her eyes still shone in the dim light. "If I had told you what is necessary, you would never have done it."

Ellana's brow furrowed as a pained expression dominated her features. "Then what makes you think I ever will?"

"By the time you realise what is happening, you will have no other choice. You were correct in your assertion – without you there…" She stopped abruptly, eyes closing. "It had to be you."

The faint hope that had remained within Ellana was long gone, leaving only vacancy and glistening tears.

"Walk the path, as you have always done," Mirwen started with a reassuring hand back on Ellana's shoulder. "Trudge on until the fork comes and keep on. You will know what to do; I have every faith. Forget we ever had this conversation but know that you are not failing. Take that knowledge and do what you know is right."

Ellana met her gaze with resignation. "More people are going to have to die, aren't they?"

Mirwen took her free hand, squeezing it reassuringly before her eyes turned blank once again. "She stands on the pearl balcony looking out on the world she has come to call home. Ponderings of those they have lost and those they have taken flurry about her mind. 'What is the life of those few when weighed against all those that inhabit this world,' she whispers before turning her mind back to those she always intended to save."

* * *

Ellana had kept much hidden in her youth. She had once been and would always be a deceiver. However, she had never expected to succeed. Every single day following her reunion with Solas she had been certain would be the day he read it from her dreams. That certainty slowly died and with it, any sort of way forward. Mirwen had been right – Ellana's fury had once become her. She knew Solas well, in spite of his attempts otherwise, and she knew that the Inquisition would never succeed in stopping him. She was the only one that even held a chance and, back then, she fully intended to take that chance even if it meant ending him. But that was a foolish dream. So blinded by her fury, she could not see that she was never capable; she could not see that she was bound to falter and so, she soldiered on. Tracking the people she would come to call friends like animals, she found her opening; orchestrated a means to endear herself to them but that was where it ended. Doubts plagued her long before she saw Solas, seeing her people finally finding some hope enough to birth them. They became so much more than mere doubt the second she laid eyes on him. She lost everything – her plan, her resolve and her purpose and without them, she was nothing. She struggled, making little more than a desperate attempt to maintain what she had; no longer worthy of saving anyone. That was until Emmaera, her true dream, came in to being. She reminded her of the truth - that in spite of her constant attempts to protect her people in the now, if she continued on this path, she was destined to fail. It was too late by then; in so deep that measures she never wanted to take were necessary to simply keep them alive; but something had undeniably shifted inside her. So far, the path she walked had served her people well – for once, they stood in strength but she could walk it no longer. She had to change their course but she knew not how. She tried in her own fumbling way but without a plan, she could not shake the feeling that Solas would forever remain a lost cause and without him, both she and her people would be nothing once more.

Ellana barely took in anything as she walked back to the tower. Mirwen had known more than she had ever thought possible and even in all her pondering, she could not decide if that fact should be reassuring or concerning. She trusted her; she could not explain the reasoning justly but she did. She intended to follow her advice, keep going as if she had heard nothing but she was still unsure if she could. She had come in to this fully expecting there would be sacrifices but so many had been lost, many more than she had ever anticipated. In the service of protecting those which she cared for, she had participated in horrors she had once thought she could not be capable. The dead and even the hurt haunted her like the failures she felt they were. The thought of Cullen entered her mind. At Solas's curious insistence, she had sent Dorian another letter and received a reply but he had not mentioned the Commander's fate. She finally plucked up the courage to ask directly in her most recent response but his had yet to arrive. Ruminating on whether her former friends would ever forgive her, she gazed up at the tower. Every window was illuminated and she could see surprising activity within. She had not stayed long at Mirwen's so it was still far too early for this sort of bustle. She feared the worst and hastened her journey as much as she could.

Blood spattered the wall alongside the doorway that led to the Crossroads. No one remained in the entrance hall but Ellana could hear strained voices above, close enough that they must have been only a couple of floors up. She considered her daughter in her arms for a moment, wondering if she should lay her down before proceeding but her curiosity took precedence. She made her way slowly up the staircase, all the while listening intently to the voices. She could not make out the words but the loudest sounded like Shivra. Her brow furrowed at the thought, impossible given that she was supposed to be in Tevinter. An elf rushed past her looking panicked, barely even seeming to register her there on the steps.

"Hey, wait!" Ellana called out, holding out a hand to stop the elf's descent. "What has happened?"

Finally registering her presence and then who she was, the elf looked completely startled. "I need to find a healer. 'Now', he said - now!"

The panic in the elf's voice did nothing to lessen her fear. She released him without a word and he ran off gladly to attend to his task. Ellana quickened her pace up the stairs. Three voices accompanied the loud one, all far calmer when they spoke but notably different in manner. One said little, the occasional hint of breaking coming through. As she neared the closed door, she recognised it was Varden. The other two were doing most of the talking – Cyrrian by the sounds of the distinctively arrogant tone and, to her relief, Solas. She burst in to the room and was met with the three faces she had predicted and regrettably, as she had also predicted, Shivra's. She was seated on Varden's desk, face red with rage and covered in what seemed to be her own blood. No one but Varden even noticed Ellana enter.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" Shivra shouted with fury. "We can't just leave them! They'll die!"

"What has happened?" Ellana asked, loudly interrupting whatever argument they had been having.

"Ellana! Thank the fucking gods! Maybe you can talk some sense in to these arseholes!" Shivra shouted, running over to her friend and embracing her lightly.

Up close Ellana could see the deep gash across Shivra's arm and the puncture wound in her shoulder. She left behind some of her blood dappled on Ellana's clothing as she pulled away.

"What happened, Shiv, _tell me_ ," Ellana prompted, a myriad of terrible possibilities flitting through her mind.

Panic glinted out from the back of Shivra's eyes. "The fucking Vints ambushed us. It was going fine – met the people; all good and they just came out of nowhere. We were so caught off guard that there was nothing we could fucking do. I only managed to escape by the skin of my teeth. They treated them like fucking cattle, Ellana, it was…"

"What happened to the others?" Ellana interrupted, unwilling to wait and dreading the answer.

"I stuck around as long as I could but I… They were hunting me I had to leave… I had to! I was the only one who could get them help." Ellana nodded her along, impatiently awaiting the answer. "From what I could see they had them all in chains but they will kill them! I just know it!"

"That's unlikely," Cyrrian interjected, coming forward with a self-satisfied air. "Considering the losses they suffered the last time we met, I imagine they will torture them for information and those that comply will probably be taken as slaves…"

"And that's fucking better?!" Shivra roared, turning to him with all her furious attention.

"No, of course not," Cyrrian replied, surprisingly taken aback by the suggestion. "Any information they do give could be disastrous, extracting them is the clear solution."

He turned back to Solas expectantly and everyone else followed suit. He barely seemed to register all the eyes on him; gaze fixed to the floor, thinking intently.

"No."

The word took a silent moment to sink in; undoubtedly, everyone else was feeling a similar disbelief to Ellana. Before she could say anything, Shivra got in first.

"No?! Are you fucking kidding me?! I would expect this from that twat…" she shouted, gesturing to Cyrrian. "…but not from you!" She had reached Solas, fury lessened but nevertheless desperate. "Come on! You know you would have no problem fucking up those bastards and breaking them out! You know you would!"

He finally met her desperate gaze but from what Ellana could see, there was nothing behind his eyes. "Ability is not my concern. If we were to engage them now then that would be another transgression to mount against us, another chance to realise us fully. We cannot afford the Imperium's full wrath, not now, not while we still fumble uselessly in the dark. To do so would only mean more agents die in the long run…"

Shivra let out an angry noise. "No! That's not…!"

"That is my final word on the matter," he stated, eyes stern. "And I will hear no more on it from any of you."

He took effort to fix his gaze to each of them in turn, avoiding only Ellana, before leaving the room past her. She followed him out immediately.

"Solas wait!" she cried, grabbing his arm and turning him back to her just before the stairs.

Sadness glinted out beyond the stern façade and as their daughter started to whine from her mother's arms, it only worsened.

"Please, vhenan, don't," he begged, trying to pull against her grip.

"They are my friends! People you have come to value as well! Do their lives mean nothing?!"

His face contorted - unbridled rage sudden and mounting through his very being. "And what would you have me do?!" he roared; advancing on her so violently, fear gripped her. "The girl is right – I could tear the life from every one of them with such ease. They hold not only _your_ valued friends but those that hold the key to our progress. Without them, we stall. I will not fail, not again!" He was so close to her now that she could see every detail of his features, including the darkness rising in the depths of his eyes. "You cannot even begin to imagine the weight I feel; the unrelenting urge... I would take great joy in every moment I spent slaughtering each one of those fools."

He broke away from her suddenly and allowed her some distance. Emmaera wailed in her arms, inconsolable in the face of her own father.

" _Joy_?" Ellana breathed, brow creasing with emotion. "The man I know would never speak of killing in such terms. He spoke of nothing but regret; regret and the…"

The sound of Solas's fist unexpectedly smashing off the wall halted her words. She jumped, backing away in instinct. Somehow, despite his clear lack of physical strength, the stone had fractured beneath his wrath.

"This is not you, Solas," she breathed, holding her daughter closer to her body.

There had been previous instances where, angry or simply lost, he had frightened her but never had she truly thought he lost control. Now she was not so sure.

Slowly, she brought herself nearer to him. "My love, our task wears on you. You may portray a monster but not to me, I know different." She placed a hand gingerly upon his back, feeling the tension in him loosen beneath her touch. "That is not you, my love, nor will it ever be." With a grimace, he finally met her gaze and a warmth crept in to both of their eyes. "I never wished to ask anything of you beyond an opportunity. You were right in your belief that we cannot afford conflict. All I wanted… All I wanted was a chance to find another way."

His brow furrowed doubtingly. "And if there is no other way?"

"Then we will do what is right but for now, I would try and I hope that together, we might find a way." Still shaking, she brought a hand to his face. "Please, Solas…please…"

He raised himself to his full height and gazed down on her, sadness predominant in his eyes. He outreached a hand, touching her cheek softly.

"If you could find a way…then yes, I will allow it," he finally answered.

She grabbed him in to a crushing embrace, knocking the breath out of him before she could stop herself. She released him warily.

"Thank you, vhenan" he uttered, pulling her gently back in to the embrace. "You are… Without you, I am lost."

She pulled away from him just enough so that she could see his face. "No, thank you. You have no idea what this means..."

"I do – even if it did take me time to see," he interrupted, hand finding her cheek once again. "I will help you in any way I can, my love, you have but to ask. Although I cannot see how we will ever accomplish this in time."

"Story of our lives," she remarked with a slight smirk.


	33. Prison Break

Ellana did not know if it was as a result of the current events but her conversation last night with Solas seemed to be forgotten. In the little time she spent with him, he acted as though it had never happened. Normally she would have thought to question but in actuality, she was just glad. She had too much work to do to afford any diversion. What was more, the little concern she had left she reserved for their more recent altercation. The words he had spoken and the darkness she had seen so close to the surface haunted her still.

She had remained with Shivra until the healers arrived. With so much blood around and Shivra's near constant swearing, Solas had quite wisely taken Emmaera back upstairs. Only Varden remained alongside Ellana, tending dutifully to their charge. It was a bizarre and at the same time adorable sight but Ellana lacked the time to truly enjoy it. Her mind was already racing with ideas. The healers did what they could but by the sound of Shivra's shouts, she was still in some pain. Ellana left Varden to see to her, certain he was better placed to offer the comfort and stability she needed.

Once she had returned to the office, Ellana paced about manically. She hoped a plan would come to her but knew that was improbable. She lacked so much information and a proper strategy always required strong foundations; at least that was what Solas said. The second he had agreed, Ellana knew that she would inevitably have to approach Cyrrian to gain the information she needed. It was quite literally the last thing she wanted to do but the need was too much to deny. She was sure Solas would have been happy to do it, if she had thought to ask but she would not. He was clearly struggling with enough already. Luckily, she had thought to question Varden so at least she felt somewhat prepared. She did not tell Solas where she was going and nor did he ask, only kissing her lightly as she went.

She stopped outside the door to Cyrrian's office. While she could not outright disprove the theory that he was attracted to her, she knew for certain that he hated her; whatever his reasons might be. Getting him to agree to help her was going to be difficult but he thought a great deal of himself and that was easy to manipulate. Using both her own experience and what little Varden had told her, she formed a perception of the man much as she would with any other target. He was someone who had grown with nothing; even the most basic of kindnesses were absent from his formative years. Now he was a man who had much and he had reacted like a petulant child – unwilling to share his new toy with anyone. She nodded and let out one long exhale before knocking on the door, loud and assured. She did not wait for him to grant her entry.

"You…" he remarked from his desk, displeasure plain across his face.

"Me," she echoed with a hopefully disarming smile. She kept going until she was able to lean against the edge of his desk; confident close proximity could only aid in her task. "I come to discuss our shared problem."

A derisive laugh rang out. "Problem? What problem? As far as our leader is concerned they are as good as dead - did you not hear?"

Ellana closed her eyes in an attempt to keep her lip from curling. She had really hoped he would not bring up Solas. She leaned in further on the desk with a sigh.

"You don't like me - I get it. Do you think I am unworthy; earned everything I have on my back? Is that it?" she replied in a deceptively sweet tone. He regarded her with a hint of astonishment but he offered no answer. Her expression dropped and eyes darkened. "Because if that is what you think then you are _dead wrong_. Everything I have, I earned through blood - my own and that of my enemies. So do not deride me by suggesting I am just some foolish whore; that would be a mistake you would not get a chance to repeat."

A stunned silence followed as he stared at her. He actually gulped. She damned Solas and Varden, convinced now that he was indeed attracted to her. Her façade slipped slightly at the uncomfortable revelation.

"All I want is your assistance," she went on, recovering herself. "While I am sure it would pain you to admit it, we are in agreement about what should happen to our trapped people. All we must do is convince the Dread Wolf to see it _our_ way."

His brow furrowed at that and curiosity overtook his discomfort. "He has already given his final word… To propose otherwise would only worsen matters…"

Ellana rolled her eyes. "He will agree if we do not jeopardise our position in the Imperium; trust me, I know how he thinks. What I need from you is information, the information to formulate an appropriate proposal…"

Appearing more and more ill at ease with her close proximity, Cyrrian interrupted, "There is no way to save them and not jeopardise our position - he said as much…"

"You leave that part to me," Ellana interrupted in turn, placing a sly hand on his arm. "But I still cannot achieve anything without your help. How quickly could you have scouts mapping out the camp where our people are held?"

His eyes fell first on her hand and then on her as he spoke, "Within a matter of hours but…"

"Good. Do that as quickly as you can and have whatever information they can gain given to me," she interrupted again, eyes fixed to his. "Do that and I will repay you - all you have to do is name it."

That made his eyes widen, just as she had hoped. Normally she would not have taken such a risky approach but time was of the essence and she had to use every angle she could. If fanning the flames was what it took to save her friends, she was more than willing.

She tried to remove her hand but he grabbed her wrist before she could get far. "Exactly what information do you need for this so-called plan?"

She let out an internal sigh of relief at the simple question. "Everything. Anything your people can get without getting themselves caught could be vital."

Slowly - too slowly - he released her hand, smirking to himself. "Consider it done, She-Wolf."

It took all of her will to walk slowly from the office rather than run.

* * *

Ellana avoided Solas for much of the day. Using her sexuality to get what she needed was something she could never get used to no matter how uncomfortably often it was necessary. Even though she knew it was just like any other method, she still felt shame afterwards. Solas was far too good at reading her so he would know she was troubled in an instant. She was sure he would not judge her for her actions but she still possessed no desire to even have that conversation. She saw him once only briefly to pick up their daughter. Mercifully, he had been busy so she hoped he had not noticed her melancholy. She took a walk in the forest for a while, stopping in to tell her mother what had happened. She was disappointed by the fact that the bonding would inevitably be postponed but supportive nonetheless. Once she pried herself away, she went to visit Shivra. She was bent on helping her, pain be damned and Ellana quite honestly needed all the help she could get. They wandered out to Ellana's stream together with the intent of coming up with possibilities while they waited for Cyrrian to deliver on the information.

"So, you're telling me we need to get in and free them without harming a single person?" Shivra asked as she lay back on the grass jostling the baby in her arms. "How is that fucking possible?"

"Anything is possible given the right circumstances," Ellana distractedly mused whilst she flicked through pages of her notebook.

Shivra had already told her everything she could about the situation, vague as it was. She had drawn a crude map of the camp they were being held in but without Cyrrian's information they were resting on presumptions and that was far from ideal in Ellana's opinion.

"Predict a man's actions and tailor your own to create the result you need," Ellana went on quietly. Finally finding the page that held the crudely drawn map, she stared thoughtfully at it. "Predict their actions…or instigate them… What was it? Something about certain emotions creating certain paths…"

"What _are_ you talking about?" Shivra jeered from the ground but Ellana was too far gone to hear her.

"Fear and anger - it was… They make for a more predictable path. The angry man lashing out…well that won't work. But fear? That is his go-to…"

Shivra sat up with a groan and the baby squealed at the rapid movement. " _Seriously_ , what the fuck are you mumbling about?"

Ellana's eyes widened slightly, attention finally drawn from her contemplations. "Solas…he… He talks a lot when he is planning something; most of it not entirely relevant but I still listen. He says that a plan is mostly about predicting the actions of others and if you can do that well, then you can adapt what you do to those actions so they become what you need…"

" _Uh-huh_ … But how does that help us?" Shivra asked, still clearly sceptical.

"Predict their actions…" Ellana mused quietly. "But we can't do that, not yet. The result should be first… _What do we need_?"

It was something of a rhetorical question but Shivra answered nonetheless, "Well we can't harm anyone…so in an ideal world we need no one to be there…"

"Exactly!" Ellana exclaimed, the sudden volume making her friend jump. "That's it! We need to get rid of them without them knowing that is what we are doing! Then we can go in and take our friends right from under their noses!"

Shivra remained sceptical. " _Uh-huh_ …and _how_ exactly would we do that?"

Ellana had risen and started to pace about as her friend looked on. "Fear and anger; predicting their actions - all of it!"

"What the fuck are you on about?" Shivra repeated with a resounding sigh.

"Put yourself in their situation. You are guarding a camp and prisoners; what would it take to make you leave your post? You are guarding, are you not? What if what you are guarding against threatens? What if you were to be attacked? Is it not your obligation to pursue?"

Shivra's brow furrowed as her eyes followed the relentless pacing. "Well…yes but that is the very fucking thing we can't do…"

" _Yes we can_! Threat, fear – that is what makes an attack, not harm. Swings at you and misses, you take that as a threat. If someone were to hold a sword to your throat…"

"Fuck off!" Shivra interrupted, also getting to her feet and earning another squeal. "Attack and run, force them to pursue – that's pretty fucking good!"

"Not good enough but it is a start," Ellana replied mirthlessly.

She took her child gently from her friend and sat back down on the ground, stroking her hair. Shivra sat down next to her uncharacteristically quiet.

"Do you think Cyrrian was right? Are they still alive?" Ellana asked in almost a whisper.

Before Shivra could answer, the sound of crunching twigs reached the glade. Ellana turned towards the sound, heart still heavy, as Solas emerged from the trees.

"There you are," he remarked, stopping short at the sight of her expression.

She rose to meet him, child already cooing in her arms. Her grey eyes spoke volumes. Shivra rose abruptly too, wincing at the pain the action brought her. Solas regarded her with some concern.

"Well I guess I'll leave you to it then! V is probably worrying about me anyway; that man is such a fucking worrier," the dark skinned elf remarked as she made to leave.

She was a distance away before Solas caught up with her, gently taking her uninjured arm to bring her to a stop. Her brow furrowed in confusion as his eyes glowed and he placed a hand first to her arm and then to her shoulder. Her eyes widened once the pain evaporated.

"Did you just..?"

He turned back briefly to Ellana before interrupting, "Yes. It shall remain between us."

He turned away again but she stopped him with an unexpected acknowledgement, "Thank you."

He turned back to her and smiled. "My pleasure."

With that, he returned to Ellana's side.

"What was that about?" she asked as he greeted his daughter. Ellana was so distracted that she did not even look at him as she spoke.

"I only wished to ensure she had recovered. Shivra is… _odd_ and undeniably difficult at times but she has grown on me," he answered carefully.

She finally met his gaze with the slightest of giggles. "I know what you mean. One minute you want to strangle her and the next you want to hug her; it's bizarre."

Rather abruptly, he planted a kiss on her forehead and she leaned gratefully in to his chest.

"Any further with your plan?" he asked, his voice reverberating satisfyingly in her ear as he spoke. "I would have asked earlier but you have been absent for much of the day…"

"Further but not far enough," she replied, avoiding the obvious hinting question in his last statement. "I am waiting on scout reports that may lead to the formulation of something workable."

"Good…" He trailed off and Ellana could feel his intense stare on her from above. "Vhenan, are you… I know you are not well, considering our current predicament, but when I saw you earlier you seemed out of sorts…"

Regardless of all her efforts, he had clearly still noticed her upset and it took a great deal of effort to keep in the groan that threatened as a result.

"Your continued absence only furthered my worry and I… All I wish to know is that you are coping?" he finished, a hand travelling to her chin in an attempt to raise her attention to him.

"I spoke with Cyrrian," she started carefully, eyes flitting to his only briefly. "Convinced him to help…"

He released her chin almost immediately. " _Ah_ … I _see_ … That explains his enlarged ego this afternoon, I imagine."

Ellana's eyes, drowning in worry and shame, shot up to his. "I'm sorry. I should not have… It bothers you."

He sharply turned her to face him and bent so he was at her level. "No, vhenan, not in the slightest." She tried to look away but he was relentless, hand to her cheek forcing her back to him. "The boy may posture all he wants but it is _my_ bed you will be warming at night; _my_ child you hold in your arms; _my_ heart you have claimed entirely. What you do beyond that is yours and nothing to be ashamed of."

So filled with emotion at his words, she struggled to speak. She reached in and kissed him slowly, pouring as much of the emotion she felt in to it as she could.

"What did I do to deserve you?" she uttered quietly.

He smiled, taking the baby from her before clasping Ellana's hand in his. "Existed as you are, my heart, that was enough."

* * *

Ellana had allowed only enough time to satisfy Solas's desire for a feasible plan. For all she knew, her friends could be killed at any moment and she was not about to let that happen. She had worked obsessively as soon as Cyrrian presented her with the information she needed. He had been uncharacteristically forthcoming, both with the actual information and with his desire to help. While she was not one to dismiss assistance, she kept him at arm's length. Solas was the one she truly needed; eager as she was to bounce ideas off him whenever he had a moment. It was obvious to her that he was making time to help and she appreciated that immeasurably. Once this was done, she would ensure to return the favour and thank him in whatever way he desired.

The plan was already in set in motion before Ellana retired for the night. She did not anticipate sleep would find her but she saw the worth in trying. Having spent a rather uncomfortable couple of hours explaining to her mother why she would be abandoning her daughter yet again, it was something of a relief to be ascending the tower to her own quarters. Nevertheless, her sense of impending warmth slowly left her the higher she ascended. She could hear her daughter crying; hardly an irregular thing given her age but she had left her with Solas and with him, the little one rarely cried. She hastened in to the office and through towards the bedchamber but stopped, holding the door slightly ajar. On the bed Solas sat, head in his hands. He seemed almost oblivious to the cries that surrounded him.

With a hand outstretched, Ellana slowly drew closer to him, "Solas?" He did not look up. "My love?"

As if broken from a trance, his eyes snapped to her. Confusion flickered through his features. "Vhenan? I…" His gaze wandered and he appeared to register the cries. "Emmaera…"

He got to his feet, making for the nursery with haste. Ellana followed him through, comforted slightly by the sight of him tending to their daughter.

"Solas, are you… Are you alright?" she asked tentatively.

Absorbed in his task, he did not look at her as he spoke, "I don't… I…" He trailed in to nothing before finally granting her his attention. "Yes. All is well, vhenan." He must have registered the doubt in her eyes, more of an explanation slowly offered, "I have a great deal on my mind and it must have got the better of me." He laughed lightly, the tiniest hint of a waver in each beat of sound. "Much of the time it is so overwhelming; reality and thought become difficult to separate. Perhaps _I am_ in need of time to gain respite, as you so often insist."

It was a fairly reasonable explanation but not one Ellana believed. Even still, she took great pains to keep her expression neutral and resist the overwhelming urge to question further. No matter the reason, he was struggling and her doubt would do little to help him overcome his demons. She smiled as warmly as she could muster and pressed a hand to his back.

"Oh, my love," she purred, resting her head on his shoulder. "If time were at all with us, nothing would make me happier than to have been right in this respect."

He gazed down on her with his own smile. "Afterwards, then? Once we have freed yet more of our people from the clutches of adversity; _then_ will we take our moment?"

She kissed him gently. "Nothing would make me happier."

* * *

Standing alone in the forest, Ellana's nerves were at fever pitch. Shivra, unsurprisingly, insisted on involving herself and Solas afforded her far more people than she had hoped for but much still rested on her design. She watched the camp that held her friends as much as she could while they waited for night to fall. It was predictable that she would choose to head the plan herself but even so, Solas did not argue - yet another thing she would have to thank him for later. She ran through it all in her mind again, ensuring no detail was out of place. Timing was the most important factor, without it they would not have the effect they needed. So important was it that she had assigned people the express task of keeping it – counting aloud in a practiced rhythm. Every detail had to be perfect for them to have even a chance of succeeding within non-lethal parameters. Failure was a likely outcome. Thinking on it, the cold air of evening brushing against her, she knew that if anyone else had asked Solas would not have even considered taking the risk.

"I wondered where you had got to," she said as he emerged from the trees at her side.

She embraced him gratefully when he reached her, needing his warmth and the comfort that came with it.

"Nervous?" he asked, likely knowing the answer. "You need not be. The plan is a solid one; worthy of you."

"I hope so," she replied, gazing up at him. "Thank you again, for all of this…"

"Do not trouble yourself, vhenan," he dismissively interrupted.

Her eyes narrowed. "No, I will. You deserve every second of it…" She pressed her lips to his lightly enough that she could still speak. "…and so much more."

He bridged the gap, kissing her before she could get to him first but pulled away only a moment later.

"Vhenan, I have every faith in you, do not doubt that but you are putting yourself in danger. If this plan were to fail you would…"

She cut him off, "I know but it cannot be helped. I have to try."

"I would expect no less." A weak smile formed across his lips but it vanished almost as quickly as it had come. "But you know my stance on threat when it comes to that which I care for. There is only so much I will tolerate…"

"What exactly are you getting at?" she worriedly asked.

"My point is that if anything does go wrong, I will not stand by and let you get hurt. Time is a factor and if it goes on for too long, I…" He broke off, finding the topic difficult to master. He exhaled slowly, collecting himself once again. "If too much time passes then failure is certain, vhenan. If that happens then I will act before that failure can take you from me."

"How long… How long are you willing to wait?"

"There are no further actions beyond a count of nine hundred - fifteen minutes. I can wait an extra ten. Beyond that I…I fear I will be unable to stop myself."

"But that is precisely what you wanted to prevent, _above all else_! Solas, that…"

"Enough, vhenan. This is not a matter for debate. I could have kept silent but I would rather approach with honesty. As soon as you enter that camp, it is beyond both of our control. Once the count reaches that mark; once I believe you are in danger, I will do whatever it takes to end it."

Ellana sighed against him as he embraced her, the sound of his heart thudding in her ear.

"Then I'll just have to ensure we succeed then, won't I?" she uttered in a resigned but determined voice.

* * *

As one would expect of any gathering of soldiers, the Imperial camp was thick with reverie. Discussion, largely loutish in nature, peppered the air with sound. It was pleasant, casual, as any gathering of those that toiled and thus earned some leisure ought to be. The largest gathering was at the centre where the campfire burned and tents surrounded. It was there that the arrows fell, shattering all sense of enjoyment from the atmosphere. Confused alarm held sway until those with authority brought order. Strict orders bound some to attend to their duties but everyone else was free to react. It was then that the second flurry of arrows rained. Shouts in amongst the chaos pointed to the forest beyond - enemies sighted scurrying through the trees. It was expected of them to pursue. Not a one of them saw anyone fall to the arrows but in the heat of the moment, none thought to mention that to the group. They pursued, their enemies always tantalisingly close. It was not until they had ran a distance; camp so far back all they could see were trees, that anyone considered what they were doing. All it took was a moment of doubt, a slight slowdown in pace and the forest dwellers disappeared in to the darkness. The group stopped and shouted questioning rang out in the silence.

"Where the fuck did they go?!"

"This is a trap if ever I've seen one!"

"We should go back! Fuck this!"

Indecision reigned but it did not last long. From an entirely different direction, yet more arrows shot out from the darkness. The forest floor crunched beneath the sound of darting feet as figures, cloaked in black, once again ran from the arrows they had rained. Just as their role dictates, the soldiers pursued their enemies further and further in to the endless darkness.

* * *

Ellana's back was pressed against an agreeably smooth tree trunk. The waiting was killing her, especially given that she had no way of knowing what was happening. All she knew was the count - sounded out quietly beside her by a small female elf. It never reached over sixty. Each time it did a paper was turned over on its binding, one for every minute and another coloured paper separated the minutes past with those to come. It was simple but watching it at work gave Ellana a sense of pleasure. Shouting had already rung out nearby along with the thundering of footsteps. It appeared she had predicted correctly.

"Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three…"

The rhythmic count was strangely soothing to hear. Five paper minutes had gone by already and with it, the nearby shouting had lessened. There were still voices but she had expected as much. As another two papers were turned, she started to hear more distant shouts. They were unintelligible but their mere existence lightened her heavy heart.

"Fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine…"

Ellana rose to her feet before the elf could turn her tenth and final paper. She nodded to each of the four agents that flanked her before making her way through the forest and towards the sounds. She stopped her people at the edge, glancing out to check the coast was clear. They were on the opposite side from the commotion so she expected no opposition. A perimeter around the camp would be a logical action to take but logic seldom occurred to those under attack. As she had hoped, no one was in sight and judging from the mutterings she could hear, the majority were in the centre. She slipped out of the shadow of the trees; their exit point carefully chosen to ensure she could quickly reach the cover of other obstacles. Her other agents followed as she hastened her steps, silent from years of practice, to crouch alongside a concealing tent. She stopped to listen again before proceeding on to the next point of cover, slowly but surely closing the distance between them and the cages that housed their imprisoned brethren. They paused in their path only once to avoid a guard late to the party and running to enquire of the others. Flush against a pile of stacked crates and enveloped in shadow, she halted her company ahead of the cages - finally in view.

 _"Eight hundred and twelve, eight hundred and thirteen, eight hundred and fourteen, eight hundred and fifteen…"_

The count she had kept up resounded in her mind but she could hear whispering over it. A tantalisingly close and familiar voice amongst the murmurs made her heart skip. The shudder of movement in her periphery brought her back in to focus. Across from them, she caught sight of Shivra in amongst the shadows. She and her own following band were closer to the cages, close enough to act but the time was not yet upon them. Seeing her so close - so obviously faster in her action, uncomfortably highlighted the glaring flaw of predicting to the second. Voices permeated as Shivra stopped and Ellana caught her first sight of the Imperial soldiers. Four of them were cajoling around the cages but still apprehensive beneath the boorish façade. Ellana indicated for her group to move. She had not intended to press closer at this stage but Shivra's impulsivity prompted her. There was one final area of cover before the cages themselves and there, she came to rest. As she had hoped, Shivra caught sight of her through the fog of their purpose. Ellana nodded to her in recognition.

 _"Eight hundred and forty six, eight hundred and forty seven…"_

She was certain her count was not entirely accurate but it mattered little beyond her desire to remain informed. Beneath the cajoling guards, she could still hear whispers from the cages. She wondered if it was her friends discussing intently what was happening. Surely they must have known that the howls could mean only one thing. Just then, a loud clattering against the cages interrupted her ponderings.

"Shut the fuck up you knife-eared bitches!" barked an aggressive shout.

Ellana's lip curled at the words but it was Shivra that troubled her most. She could see her shifting, blood likely boiling with the desire to unleash her anger. Ellana raised a hand - desperate to hold her from action.

 _"Eight hundred and sixty three, eight hundred and sixty four…"_

She fixed her eyes to Shivra's, pleading her to stay still. She raised a finger slowly to her lips, praying she could hold her for the seconds remaining until Solas played his part.

 _"Eight hundred and ninety three, eight hundred and ninety four, eight hundred and ninety five…"_

Shivra eyes turned down and away from Ellana. She was in thought, considering for much too long and Ellana was already panicking before she moved. She acted too just as the explosion sounded in the distance. In an instant, she was flush against cover again; gladdened to see Shivra was too. The guards were rather appropriately terrified. Their shouts were reassuring but the sound of feet abandoning the cages was even more so. Ellana moved a few seconds after Shivra. To her relief, no one remained in sight but she knew that would not last. They had a matter of minutes and the haste with which they picked the locks and cut the ropes of their people was a testament to that.

"Ellana! Thank the gods!" Lis got out before she was shushed like all the others.

Mercifully, she had thought to say it quietly but even still, now was not the time for merriment. Agents and prisoners were out of the cages in a matter of moments, padding silently through the cover of shadow. Voices could still be heard but none close enough to matter. Ellana readied herself for the inevitable shout that would come when the empty cages were discovered but each second they had without it was preciously used. They reached the outskirts of the camp safely with only two more tents to traverse before the trees would grant them cover. One group of four - two agents and two prisoners – bridged the gap between the tents without incident. Miris, Lori, Shivra and two of her agents went next - joining the group waiting against the final tent with the skill Ellana had come to expect of her friends. Before Ellana's group and the other could make the final jump to freedom, voices punctured the relative silence. Ellana froze, only thinking to hazard a look once she had recovered. Two of them, running as so many of the Imperial guards were but terribly placed. They were coming straight for them; straight down the gap that led to their freedom. Ellana had lost the count long ago but she knew time had to be running out. She exchanged glances with Shivra, both knowing what it meant. Ellana shifted herself toward the very edge of her cover and Shivra did the same. Eyes fixed to one another, Ellana nodded.

* * *

Another turn of the paper marked the passing of twenty-three minutes. The sound of it rustling was the only thing that penetrated Solas's fear-ridden mind. Even with all his will, he could not banish the dread that Ellana lay already slain. The other parties were assembled around him, the majority already present at the rendezvous point before he arrived. Seeing them did nothing to quell his fear.

"Fifty-eight, fifty-nine, sixty…"

Another rustle of the paper got through to him and the air around him crackled slightly.

 _"One minute… One minute and this place will be torn apart,"_ he thought, revelling in the idea.

Had his mind been clearer he would probably have pondered the depths of what she did to him; so perfect and yet unendingly terrible in its potential. He had never experienced the feeling before her. His daughter had surprised him even more – for her, he would gladly destroy even himself.

"Fifty-three, fifty-four…"

There had not been a sound other than the counting for some minutes. He would have cherished the crunching of twigs or the thudding of footsteps that could have been her.

"Fifty-eight, fifty-nine…"

All Solas heard was the sound of the paper as it turned. Uncomfortable silence permeated the group, many knowing what was coming. Solas moved off without a word, air flashing periodically around him. Before he could reach the trees, he came to a sudden stop, eyes widening slowly.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" barked a voice accompanied by the sound of running.

He did not have to wait long before Ellana hurtled in to him.

"Sorry I'm late! You didn't blow anyone up, did you?" she casually enquired, a hand touching his jaw as she gazed in to his eyes.

"Vhenan…" he uttered, expression crumpling.

Her followers slowly emerged from the forest, agents and former prisoners alike.

She grinned widely up at him. "Miss me?"

* * *

 **A/N - God I missed this. Seriously, if you're considering writing - do it, it's so enjoyable. Although don't ask me why.**

 **Question - Does anyone have any recommendations of artists that do DA and take commissions? PM me if you do.**

 **Would fucking love some stuff but have not drawn in years so mine would be a crock of shite and I'm not on Tumblr or anything so have no idea where to start looking for someone. Except Nipuni - found her and already perv on pretty much any art she does to the point that it could be considered unhealthy. Google her and thank me later - she's fucking fabulous. And I've gone off on a tangent again...brilliant.  
**


	34. My Blood

**A/N – Warning: apparently this chapter is 'tediously lovey-dovey' so if you're not in to that shit, look away! Personally, I like a bit of happy every now and again. Also, Solas is apparently a 'whiney douche' in this one. Do I sound bitter? I get a bit bitter when it comes to him. Anyway – ONWARD.**

* * *

If Ellana had been lost, he would have razed Tevinter to the ground in vengeance - Solas knew that now. He had pondered it long and hard over the last few days, wishing that he could attribute it to some outside influence. That was a lie; it was all him. The monster had been waiting inside this entire time. Inescapable but dangerous, the fear floated permanently in the back of his mind and he knew that with only a moment's weakness, he could lose himself to the depths.

In spite of all it had shown him, the operation had gone surprisingly well. Ellana was forced to render two soldiers unconscious but, by her estimations, they had not seen or understood who had attacked them. The Imperials would certainly have suspicions given the timing of the attack and all too convenient escape but nothing concrete. Solas hoped they had done enough to maintain their safety for the near future but he never intended to rest on his laurels. The Imperium was an unknown element and thus unpredictable - a fact he loathed. There was little way of even guessing when they might strike or how it could be avoided.

None of the prisoners had been severely injured which had been both a relief and a worry. In Solas's experience Tevinter soldiers were rarely merciful. To see only superficial injuries immediately made him question but he did so silently; that was until Shivra joined him in his scepticism. She was trusted, not 'intimidating' as Ellana claimed he was, so she easily gained far more detail than he could. The group had been ambushed while preparing to make camp; seemingly out of nowhere. Each prisoner was then taken off and questioned. Refusal led to some light torture and then they were returned to their chains. Solas thought the idea laughable and Shivra agreed. By her assessment and what she gained from Miris, it all seemed like an act – a token ambush, token questions and token torture - all veiling some kind of true purpose. She seemed convinced that the Dalish girl was to blame citing the fact that she was taken for questioning more times than any other. Solas doubted that. In his mind, it was more likely that she simply gave them answers. Not that it mattered; the girl knew far too little to be considered a threat. He advised Shivra to recruit Miris against her. It seemed like the easiest way to placate her and it could not hurt to have two sets of eyes monitoring the situation. Over the past few days, he had kept a rather close eye on everything himself too. If not anything else, it kept him distracted from his own concerns.

Ellana had been spending much of her free time with her friends. Solas could understand but he still wished she would not. It was selfish but the only time his mind was quiet was with her. He had started to welcome the visits to her mother. They were tiring with all the fervent discussion of their imminent bonding but strangely comforting nonetheless. Sleep had once been his constant – walking the Fade, his greatest solace. It had been the one place he had always felt at home, felt strong but now it was there he felt at his weakest. If he could have avoided sleep entirely then he would have but he settled for only as much as was necessary. Even still, losing that comfort was painful. All he had now was Ellana. He needed her distraction so badly but would not ask for it. His pride had always been his downfall.

Head in his hands, Solas sat at his desk. Emmaera had been asleep for the last hour and Ellana away for even more. He knew he should be working but every time he tried, the whisperings of his mind interrupted with words of doubt, loss and his greatest fear - failure. He wandered over to the window and gazed out blankly. He had done this to himself; that was the worst thought. He turned back to the door suddenly, a smile overtaking his gloomy features. He had heard her laugh, uncontrolled and ugly in a way but definitely hers. Ellana careened through the door without a thought. She had clearly been drinking.

"Oh my! You are just too handsome!" she slurred much too loudly as she reached him.

Lis slowly wandered in behind her looking sheepish. It was a rare thing for her to come to the tower but she must have been charged with ensuring her drunken friend returned home. Solas raised an eyebrow to her as Ellana wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Mmm…I like you," Ellana purred, the smell of alcohol from her overwhelming. She lowered her voice slightly but not nearly enough, "We should fuck…"

Lis let out a groan but Solas just laughed. He shifted Ellana to the side so he could speak to her more sober companion.

"How much has she had to drink?" he asked, eyebrow still raised accusingly.

Lis gave him a look that suggested he probably did not want to know. Ellana tutted loudly.

"Some!" she slurred, convincing no one. She ran her palm along his jawbone a lot less gracefully than she likely intended. "Come on…you know you want to…"

He stifled another laugh and gazed down on her warmly. "Get in to bed and I will be there shortly." Her eyes widened with unrestrained desire. " _Go on_ …before I change my mind."

Ellana skipped off in to the bedroom and Solas turned back to Lis with a sigh.

"I hope you're not planning on taking advantage of her; that would be most…unbecoming…" Lis remarked, a hint of joking in her tone.

Solas was somewhat taken aback, joviality between Lis and him a foreign concept. He chuckled lightly. "I can guarantee that she will be fast asleep and snoring long before I get in there so no, her chastity will not be threatened this night."

Lis allowed herself a brief giggle but said nothing, watching him carefully for much too long. Solas hardly even noticed. He had needed Ellana and now the drink had rendered her apart from herself – it was disappointing.

"You okay?" Lis asked, watching him now with concern.

"Of course. Just…" He ran a hand across his head. "…tired."

Her brow wrinkled with obvious scepticism but she shrugged. "I bet you are. Look, I won't keep you much longer but I…" She moved cautiously closer. "There was something I have been meaning to ask you…for a while now…"

Attention blissfully focused on something other than his own mind, he considered her warily. "Regarding?"

"El talks about you…" She giggled again. "…as I am sure you can imagine. Doesn't say much, mind you but I can put some of the pieces together. You can manipulate dreams, can't you?"

"To an extent," Solas answered, head tilting slightly to one side but still guarded in his manner.

She smiled before turning fretful again. She seemed almost ashamed to be asking anything of him. "It's not for me! It's…well… It's been happening for a while now; Shiv wakes up screaming and I... When El mentioned the stuff you do with her dreams, well I…I just thought maybe you could help her?"

Solas's eyes softened but his desire to probe overcame the feeling. "What did Ellana mention exactly?"

Lis looked jarred for a moment. "Nothing major, don't worry. She never says so directly but some of the stuff she talks about only makes sense if someone was doing them and…well…it's not going to be _her_ , is it? Look, if you don't want to help that's fine…"

"No, I will. Leave it with me," he interrupted.

Lis appeared so pleased he worried she might try to hug him. Luckily, she seemed to think better of it. "Thank you! I don't know if you can really do anything but if you could even try... Shiv would really appreciate it - I'm sure! Although…don't tell her! She would not be pleased that I asked you to meddle."

"I can imagine. She will likely be aware that someone has done something but do not hesitate to blame it on me. She keeps informing me we are 'mates' - whatever that may mean - so I doubt I would suffer the same retribution."

"Don't bet on it," Lis said with a laugh. She made to leave, only to partially turn back at the door. "When she wakes up, tell El she needs to stop drinking – from me, okay?"

He chuckled. "I will add your name to the list beneath my own."

Lis grinned back at him before passing out through the door. As he had predicted, Ellana was already snoring lightly in the bed still fully clothed. After checking on Emmaera, he slid in to bed alongside her with a gentle kiss to her forehead.

* * *

It was as if Ellana were in a fog of her own design. The moment she had woken this morning, she regretted allowing so much as a drop of alcohol to pass her lips. She was not sure she would even be upright if it were not for Solas standing at her back. The words spoken around her floated, almost consumed by the fog in spite of the importance she knew they held. It was going to be a rough day.

"If they have a grievance then I would hear it," Solas said, his voice rumbling against her back every time it met his chest. "We cannot afford upset and quite clearly, you cannot handle this simple task."

Ellana still could not be certain what the specifics of the discussion actually were but she was aware of Solas's tone and Cyrrian's dumbfounded reaction to it. As he struggled to form a suitable response to such contempt, Ellana laced her fingers with Solas's beneath the table. Leaning back in to him very deliberately, she gazed up and the annoyance in his eyes gradually lessened.

Even suitably calmed he could not offer a full retraction but allowing an escape from the discomfort he had created was at least something. "You have one of their number here?" Cyrrian nodded in response. "Bring them in; I would speak with them. Once that is done, you may proceed as you see fit."

Ellana raised an eyebrow as Cyrrian left and Solas smiled down on her from above.

"You are too lenient, vhenan," he commented, hands travelling up her waist until they brushed against the tempting boundary of her chest.

"Am I?" she added with a calculated flick of her hips against him. "Perhaps you are simply too cantankerous."

He scoffed, hand gently but also very deliberately finding her throat. "As you are insolent…"

Breath left him as she swayed her hips yet again. "Both soft and insolent? Why that cannot be! Surely some measure of tenacity is needed for my kind of insolence?"

"This is…" he started, voice broken again by the sensation of her movements. "…not a…negotiation…"

She quickened her snaking hips. "Oh _of course_ not! Gods forbid you might be losing…"

He grasped her arm, turning her roughly to him. His lips met hers before she could say anymore. She whined softly as his hand found her hair, tugging on it ever so slightly to raise her chin. A step towards her pressed her back in to the table. She relieved some of her weight against it, legs parting so he could be closer to her. The sound of voices in the office beyond ended it there. They pulled apart, the tips of both of their ears still pink from the tension.

"What you do to me, vhenan," he commented, running the fingers of a hand through her likely tousled hair.

She giggled. "Perhaps now you might be less of a grump."

He stopped fixing her hair to glower at her, annoyance and adoration clashing beneath his eyes. " _Perhaps_ …"

Without a customary knock, the door opened and Cyrrian stared at them from the doorway.

Solas pried his eyes away from Ellana. "Yes?"

"I have the man you asked for," Cyrrian started. He took a slight step back allowing his charge to come forward in to view. "One of the Rebel Mage's band."

It took her a moment but with some thought, Ellana did recognise the elf. When she laboured to save those taken prisoner in Tevinter she had been focused on her own people but they were not the only ones to benefit from her actions. Before that, Ellana had held little interest in the actual task that led her friends to their predicament. The specifics of anything related to Tevinter were, after all, above her remit but now that she was already involved, her interest piqued. Cyrrian had contacts - those he had once believed were lost but it seemed one still remained. Aemilia was her name – a slave like himself but freed in her teens due to magical talent. She had used her freedom well, fighting with a makeshift army to topple those that called themselves masters. Finding her people had been the task. The elf that now stood before them was one of this 'Aemilia's' people – captured along with their own soldiers and then saved all the same. She remembered him from the cages; he had been rather fearful, even when released.

He came forward, less fearful now but unwise in that decision. "Galus is my name. On behalf of my brethren, I ask that we be allowed to leave." Solas's expression instantly darkened and the man rethought his approach. "We appreciate all you have done for us, surely, but we cannot remain here. Our queen needs us to…"

"Your _queen_?!" Solas interrupted.

His disdain was so obvious that hurt showed across the man's features and Ellana had to resist the urge to intervene.

"Yes," the elf replied in a defiant tone. "She needs us. Our numbers cannot be said to match your own and with us gone…the risk is just too great."

Solas ignored the glare Ellana was giving him. "You have been allowed to make contact with this 'queen', have you not?" He shot an accusing look in Cyrrian's direction. "Surely that is more than enough…"

"That is not enough!" the elf interrupted, earning the Dread Wolf's ire but seeming unaware of what that meant. "We have done what you asked of us! You cannot expect us to remain here, hostage until you get what you…"

"You _will_ remain here," Solas interjected. Measured as he so often was, few would normally catch on to the subtle hints he allowed but now was not one of those times. Even the relative stranger no longer made a sound. "I asked that you arrange a meeting with this queen of yours – has that been achieved beneath my notice? Doubtful, given what little time you have had." He was advancing on the elf; gradually enough that threat appeared absent but yet, the man remained stock-still. "Until that is done, you _will_ remain here; indefinitely, if need be. Is that understood?"

This elf likely had little experience of Fen'Harel beyond the rumours. He did not know what Solas was capable of or even that he was more than your average elf but instinct seemed to be telling him just that. He would not meet his eyes nor did he appear able to speak. Ellana saw the value in this Solas – his cold, malicious side had earnt them much. She even found it attractive given the right circumstances but not now. She came forward; a hand finding Solas's upper arm; her eyes imparting apology to his victim.

"Our leader simply means that the protection of your people is our paramount concern." Solas's eyes snapped to her, aggrieved by the interruption but notably curious. "We share your concerns but to allow you to make such a journey alone, the risk - _for you -_ is too great. Your queen would wish that you return to her safely and we hold that wish as well. Once a meeting has been arranged between our people, _then_ we will be in a position to personally escort you all back to your queen _and_ ensure you make it in safety."

The elf considered her for a long moment. At her side, Solas's eyes turned back to him expectantly with a slow smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"But arranging a meeting could take days," the man finally replied. "Days we cannot possibly…"

"Not necessarily," Ellana interrupted, slightly too keen. She softened her features and her voice to compensate. "Lines of communication can be expedited and your continued service - is it not valuable enough to warrant a few days caution? Surely your queen would understand. Besides, travelling beneath our protection will afford you a faster journey so perhaps you will make it sooner, even with the initial restraint."

The elf's eyes broke from her, appearing deep in thought. Ellana presumed he was likely recalling the Eluvian he had passed through following their liberation and the undeniable speed with which it had allowed them to travel.

His eyes met hers once again, no longer wearing any of the fear he had held with Solas. "So if we agree – my people would travel in the company of your own directly to our destination? The agreed meeting point?"

"Yes, of course," Ellana replied with a calculated warm smile. "With the added haste and, of course, our protection. We would not have you suffer any less, not as our guests."

A silence passed as he considered; both the Dread Wolf and Ellana's hopeful stares trained to him alone.

"Very well…" he slowly replied.

Ellana had to resist the overwhelming urge to bounce in relief. Solas, however, did not appear to share her enthusiasm.

"Arrange it," he ordered with only the slightest of glances in Cyrrian's direction before turning his back on the man and taking Ellana with him.

She glanced back to see both of the abandoned men taking the hint. Solas spun her to him.

"Where were we?" he purred, a half smile overtaking his features.

With a hand to her back, he moved in to kiss her but she ensured he did not make it – palm to his chest imposing distance between them.

She shook her head. "Uh-uh-uh. An explanation would be welcome."

"For what?" He simply stared at her until the insistent look she gave him in return made him relent, "Impatience predominantly…the want for haste outweighing the wish to behave respectfully…"

"Haste? What happened to the desire for respite?"

His gaze gradually fell away from her. "I still hold that desire but…I _need_ this to be over, vhenan. Delays or resistance is…well…frustrating." Finally, he granted her his eyes once again. "It does not absolve me of my conduct; merely an explanation as requested. What flaws I did display, you more than made up for." He pulled her in closer. "Regardless, it seems a few days respite are ours. I would wonder how you would have us spend them? Punishing my poor manners?"

She raised an eyebrow. "As enjoyable as that sounds, that would be an activity best kept between us and somehow, I doubt we are going to get much alone time if my mother has anything to say about it." He groaned, burying his head in her neck. "Is the idea of bonding yourself to me truly that tiresome?"

He barely even moved; breath warm against her neck. "In the ceremonial manner with which it must be done – yes, time could be better spent. In the sentiment I surmise you actually mean, of course not. Your mother wishes it, you wish it and so, I wish it but what I do not wish for is the needless hours – hours of preparation, hours of ceremony, hours of celebration. Is the tradition not based around the joining of two individuals? Should those individuals not be allowed a moment to spend with one another? Is consummation not…"

"Ah ha! _There_ it is," Ellana interrupted with satisfaction.

He pulled away from her, brow wrinkled in annoyance. "I meant that this is _supposed_ to be about us. Given the choice, what would you do with the little time we have?"

"Definitely not anything my mother has planned," Ellana replied with a slight laugh. "Sleep. Talk. Actually spend some time with my daughter. Walk the Fade; it has been so bloody long! Bathe unnecessarily. Read that damn book that has been sitting on my table for the last month. A bit of consummation is probably up there too…"

" _There_ it is," he interrupted, kissing her lips before she could list off anymore.

* * *

Ellana gazed at herself in the mirror as she spoke the elvhen words. This was the fourth time she had recited them so far today and each time, she did not have a word wrong. Still, she wanted to be certain. Every time she watched Solas dutifully learning her clan's traditional vows, she felt she had to repay him somehow and that was where the idea had first sprouted. She wrote out her own version - vastly untraditional but personal and written in the elvhen he knew. She hoped that her mother would not be too angry and most of all, that he would like it.

Once she spoke the final word, Ellana stared at her reflection in silence. The dress she wore was one Solas had never laid eyes on - white silk fabric clinging to her form and gold accents snaking up her neck and down her bare arm. Her other arm was covered; seeing it in all its blackened glory not something her mother enjoyed. Ellana did not really care either way. She just wanted to see the look on Solas's face.

"Perfect again, from what I can tell," Lis commented from the bed, still scanning Ellana's notebook. "Your handwriting is just terrible."

Ellana said nothing. A part of her wanted to cry as she stared vacantly at herself. This was going to change nothing and she knew it. He had said as much himself, as a reassurance of all things. Mirwen's words flitted through her mind and she wished she were here with her now.

Lis rose from the bed. "El, you alright?"

Ellana kept her eyes fixed to the mirror. "I… I just… I used to dream of this day when I was just a foolish little kid and I always imagined that afterward…that would be it - I would live happily. That marriage would be the end…"

Lis sighed sadly. "I know… Seems so stupid now, doesn't it?"

" _Really_ stupid." A weak smile formed across Ellana's features. "What comes after is all that matters, always has been. If only it were so simple?"

"If only," Lis mirrored wistfully. "You sure you want to do this?"

"Well, I've never wanted a person more in my life…if that's even a good thing," Ellana mused, releasing her hair from the tie that held it. She scrutinised herself as she combed a hand through her now fully silver but also shortened locks. "I really wish Mother had let me keep it longer. He's going to miss it…"

"He won't. He can be quite accommodating," Lis added, surprising Ellana with the unexpected compliment. She paused. "Actually I… I need you to thank him for me." Ellana's look turned quizzical. "I asked him to do something and well…he went above and beyond…"

She trailed off but Ellana was having none of it. "Elaborate…"

"He did something for me, something wonderful that I… I didn't even ask for it." She locked eyes with Ellana, depth of emotion shining out. "He let me see my child…in my dreams…he…he…"

"How do you know it was him?"

"I know he can. I…I asked him to do it for someone else and then that night I have everything I could ever dream of? It had to be."

Heart heavy with pride, Ellana struggled to find the words. "That is…beautiful."

A long silence passed between them in which both took an opportunity to brush the beginnings of tears from their eyes.

"So, thank him for me, will you?" Lis finally said with a slight waver in her voice. With her free hand, she ruffled her friend's hair lightly. "I have to say, I miss the black. It's like the last bit of the old you, gone. Kind of sad in a way…"

"Aww, da'len! Aren't you sentimental?" Ellana teased as her friend shirked away from her.

A knock at the door interrupted their merriment and Lis departed to see who it was. Ellana stared back in to her own reflected eyes.

"You just can't keep away, can you?" she heard Lis scoff. "Where in damnation is Shivra?! She was _supposed_ to be guarding the door!"

Ellana rounded her regard to the commotion and heard Solas's welcome tone, "Perhaps the worst person you could have chosen to guard against me." He chuckled. "Right?"

On cue, Shivra's loud voice piped up, "Fen'Harel? _Here_?! Nah, never seen him!"

Lis grumbled and glanced back to Ellana with a glare.

Solas chuckled again but quieted beneath the blonde girl's ire. "I do not intend to break the rules; I need not see her. Just… Vhenan!"

Ellana skipped forward a few steps. "Yes, ma lath?"

She did not need to see him to know that he would be beaming. "How is my little one?"

"Still asleep but she missed you last night," she shouted from beyond the door.

"And you?"

"Sadly not the former…" She grinned to herself. "…but much the same on the other front." Lis groaned and Ellana gave her a light slap across the shoulder as she came within arm's length of the door. "Are you keeping well? You shouldn't be here, Solas, if my mother catches you…"

"That is why I came, vhenan, to warn you before her arrival," he interjected. "We shared a rather unwelcome but not entirely unforeseen discussion and she seemed intent on accosting you next, if…"

"My mother spoke to you? _Wonderful_."

He laughed lightly. "Yes she did. She 'wished to ensure I was worthy' or some such. I cannot claim to protest the sentiment but…well…steel yourself; if you catch my meaning…"

Ellana giggled at the thought of her mother chastising Solas. "Ha! Thanks for the warning but that's just my mother." She could hear him shifting beyond the door and knew she should leave it at that but she did not want him to go. "So tell me, my love…"

"Yes, vhenan?" he called out, loud enough that he must have been back within reach.

She stretched a hand through the small gap between the door and the frame, hoping to find him.

"Did she find you worthy?" she asked, pleased as she felt his hand on hers guiding it to his cheek.

He grinned beneath her fingers. "She will be eager to tell you herself but the fact that I am here now is heartening. Vhenan, I wanted to…" All too suddenly, he pulled his warmth away from her and she heard muffled swearing. "I knew I should have brought the stairs up to this level," he muttered as he returned to the door.

"She's coming, isn't she?" Ellana asked, already knowing the answer. Before he could respond, she had nudged Lis aside and dragged him through the door. "All that power you hold and you cannot escape an old woman."

"I could…" he started, stopping as soon as his gaze fell on her fullly.

With a palm to his chest, she forced him in the direction of the war room. "Get in there so she doesn't see you. That's another one you owe me!" She shut the door behind him before he could protest. "And for the record, you're an ass," she called through.

"Such sweet words, vhenan."

She kicked the door. "But definitely true."

Lis groaned again. "Will both of you just shut up, it's _sickening_." Beyond the door, Solas did the opposite and to which Lis hammered her fist against the wood surface. "Do you want an old Dalish woman beating your ass?! I _said_ both of you!" An angry growl permeated through but only quiet followed. "That's better!"

Ellana could hear her mother's piercing voice waylaid by Shivra. She turned to Lis, amusement gone. "Act natural."

She padded off in to the bedroom with haste. As her mother entered, she reached the nursery and lifted Emmaera from her crib.

"Where is she?" she could hear her mother asking of Lis. "Where is my little girl?"

"I'm here, Mamae," Ellana responded, emerging from the bedroom with her own little girl fussing in her arms.

The elder Lavellan took the baby from her without as much as a word and sounded a long gasp. "My…just _look_ at you," she breathed, taking Ellana's hand in her free one and gawping at her. "My little girl…"

"Oh, Mamae," Ellana whined as her mother compelled her in to a slow turn. "Don't start…"

Tears welled in Siona's eyes. "But just look at you! I remember when you were a little thing, dressing up and dreaming of this day and now here you are! Your father would have loved to see you this way…"

"Mamae, _please_ don't or then I'll…" Ellana tried, voice cracked with emotion at the mere mention of her father.

Her mother pulled her in to a crushing embrace. In the background, Lis left them alone; the click of the outer door all that heralded her departure.

"Have you seen him?" Siona asked, pulling free of the embrace so she could see her daughter's expression.

"No, Mamae," Ellana lied. "Have you? How is he?"

Siona's eyes narrowed slightly. "Well…" Her eyes widened again and Ellana let out an internal sigh of relief. "That boy is a tough one to crack. You would think nothing ever affected him…"

"I know, Mamae, he's…that's just him." Ellana gazed imploringly at her mother, hand to her shoulder. "Mamae, you weren't…you weren't harsh with him, were you?"

She pulled away instantly, complete indignation written across her features. " _Harsh_? Me?" She jostled Emmaera lightly in her arms. "Do not worry, he took it all in his stride." She handed the little one back to Ellana with a smile. "I had concerns, as I always do but he assured me that you are in safe hands." She sighed. "Your choices are your own, my girl, just as I told you the day you left. If this is the life you want then who am I to question?" She came back to Ellana's side, arm wrapped gently around her back. "This _is_ what you want?"

Ellana stared down at her little one. "Yes…it is…" She avoided her mother's questioning look. "Sometimes I wish we could get away from all of this, live a simple life but… I want this, I do."

Her mother took Ellana's chin between her fingers, raising her eyes up to meet her own. "Something worthwhile is never simple to attain – that is what your father used to say. We cannot get what we want without work." She sighed again as Ellana looked away. "I know how hard you find it, Ellana, but you must talk to him. He cannot know what you want just from you wishing."

"I _know_ , Mamae," Ellana uttered quietly. "I know. I'm not even sure I know what I truly want… All I am certain of is how much I love him."

"Then that is all you need and the rest…well…that takes work but you are more than capable – you know that." She took her daughter in to a warm embrace before taking the baby from her arms. "Good luck, my darling. We will see you down there and Ellana…thank you for this – it means so much for me to see you happy."

Ellana nodded, smiling weakly as her mother left the room. She gazed out of the window at the crowd already building below before she remembered. She strode across the floor and opened the door to the war room to find Solas sat on the table, contemplating out of the window as she had been.

"Sorry if you had to hear any of that," she muttered.

A corner of his mouth rose as he did. "I heard nothing. I can imagine it was…" His words trailed off as his eyes fell on her again. "Vhenan, you look…" He exhaled a single note of a laugh. "Even after all this time, you never cease to astound me."

He gazed down on her as his palms found her waist.

"Sweet talker… You look pretty good yourself," she added, smirking up at him.

He turned away from her slightly and she swore she saw him redden a tiny bit. He gestured towards the window. "Quite a crowd is forming… Your mother's doing, I suppose? Perhaps it is merely our seasoned admirers ignoring the request for privacy."

Ellana giggled. "Perhaps? I would say undoubtedly. Who could resist the allure of the great Fen'Harel taking a Dalish bride? Such drama; such intrigue! Whatever will they do next?!" She sighed. "At least they find some enjoyment in this life, even if it is at our expense."

"Too true, my heart." His eyes broke from hers. "We should not keep them waiting…"

"No," she said with just as much disappointment. "You go first; you are the one they're waiting to see after all." His lip curled at that and she touched a hand to his neck. "Try and take pleasure in their adoration, my love, for this day at least."

"For you, I will try." He turned away from her and finally made for the door. He stopped and turned back. "Their reverence is for you too, vhenan; more so than you think." Ellana raised an eyebrow in scepticism. "Without you, I am nothing..."

"To them you are hope, Solas, and that is everything," she said, meeting him in an embrace. She fixed her eyes to his. "But no matter what you are to them, they can never love you like I love you."

His eyes closed and his brow wrinkled before he kissed her.

* * *

The ceremony in and of itself was little more than a Dalish farce but it meant something to Ellana. Solas never expected it to mean anything beyond that but as soon as the elvhen words tumbled forth from her mouth, his indifference was broken. Tears had fallen from him and he was not ashamed to admit it. The words themselves were more than enough but the sheer effort it must have taken her was what really got to him. He had agreed to this as a form of courtesy; a means to bring her and her mother some happiness but yet, she had put all her effort in to making it something so much more than that. She never ceased to amaze him.

The part afterwards had been tedious. He would have loved nothing more than to return to the tower with her and his child but that was never going to be. Droves of elves came to congratulate them, oddly openly now that Ellana and he were considered joined as one. She always had a more approachable air with the people and it seemed her influence inspired a similar reaction to him. By the time all was said and done, it was evening and they were both exhausted. Daughter resting on her, Ellana had planted herself on top of Solas; back laid against his chest as they sat surrounded by those that mattered to them. It seemed the people would take any excuse to celebrate and so wine and dancing were in full flow around them. Earlier in the night and still on a high the couple had joined them – flowing together as they did so easily; showing off for all to see but neither had the strength remaining anymore. Solas stifled a yawn.

"Tired, ma lin?" Ellana purred; gentle fingers touched lightly to his cheek from below.

Some of the elvhen words she had spoken brushed past his mind – " _Not just my heart, you are my blood flowing through me and giving me life. Once it was my own and that of my kin but you made it yours and with it, all of me…"_ – and he felt a swell of emotion but his mind stayed blissfully quiet.

She giggled softly. "Our little one is too."

He sat himself forward, careful to ensure a well-placed arm kept Ellana secure against him. He gazed down on his daughter, her eyes blinking so slowly with the weight of exhaustion. Ellana smiled up at him as he took the baby in his arms and as her lilac dappled eyes gradually opened with the movement, little Emmaera smiled up at him too. She reached out a tiny hand to touch his face, falling short but she was not deterred. She babbled away quietly to him.

"So much to say, just like her father," Ellana happily mused as she watched. "It's well past her bed time. You could take her home if you like? I need to say goodbye to Mamae but…I would not be long…"

Grasping her chin lightly beneath his fingers, he pressed his lips to her. "I will wait for you, ma vhenan."

The corners of her mouth quirked up and a hum of satisfaction rumbled free of her chest. "You always do…"

She rose from him, taking her warmth with her until he joined her, a hand to her back.

"I will wait for you," he repeated as an almighty yawn escaped him.

"Maybe in my dreams," she added with a doubting laugh before kissing him one final time. "Until then, my love."

Solas watched her leave for as long as he felt he could, stalking away through the crowd not long after. Rocking with the movement, Emmaera's babbling slowly quieted to nothing. At the outskirts he saw an unwelcome face, as if she had been waiting this entire time. He did not want to stop but some desire deep inside made him. Her blues eyes twinkled knowingly in to his cold ones.

"Dread Wolf, it has been much too long," Mirwen remarked as if greeting an old friend.

He glared down on her. "Speak what you will and leave me be." She gazed up at him questioningly and he mirthlessly laughed. "You fool no one. _Never_ do you come to me without purpose and now is undoubtedly the same." It was difficult for him to keep his tone measured but somehow he managed it.

Even still, Mirwen took a step back as though she knew of his toil. "Concern this time not purpose. My purpose is almost done – yours set in motion. Still I feel the tug of fear; it was unwise to come to care, foolish even. Always a weakness of mine - one you could have played beautifully if I had allowed it." She reached out a hand to the child in his arms but reconsidered when he flinched. "You are beyond that now. _So far beyond_ …and I find myself wishing it could be different but… Can it hear me?"

Solas stifled the sudden surge of anger he felt and nodded slowly, words far out of reach.

Mirwen took a step forward. "You are _necessary_ ," she stated, each word punctuated with certainty. "But you will never be anything more than a means to an end."

Energy built around them, snapping at the air and sparking out of nothing. Grasping his daughter to him tightly, he made for the tower and away from the Keeper as fast as he could without running.

* * *

Ellana had been right; Solas did not make it to her. She had expected to find him fast asleep on her return but he was nowhere to be found. She did not think to worry; some admirer would have simply waylaid him. The day had been a long one and while she fully intended to wait for him, her exhaustion had not been willing to suffer the waiting. A moment was all it took for sleep to find her.

 _She strode in dreaming. Solas was beside her, not the true one but some long remembered version eagerly spouting knowledge. Sunlight cut through the grey sky to the white mounds of snow on which they walked but Ellana scarcely even noticed her surroundings. She was only aware of the moment - the overwhelming urge to kiss him and finish what they had started in Haven but somewhere in the back of her mind she was waiting. She occasionally felt the tug of expectation, the idea that perhaps she desired something more than this moment. Lacking the power needed, her conscious self could do little more to try and remind her that this was not the Solas she wished to see. Then she felt it – the shift, the overriding sensation that something had been changed but she could make no sense of it. Without her awareness, she just knew that something was wrong. In the back of her mind her conscious-self tugged – trying to remind her, tell her that she knew this feeling well and somehow she got through. Unable to move, Ellana could not gaze expectantly for him but she thought it, so strongly that speech became possible._

 _"Solas?" she called out in to the barren land._

 _The remembered image of him was long gone along with much of the sunlight but she missed neither. At least until she felt the dread. She knew what it meant almost immediately, memory of that fateful night suddenly returned. She wanted and wished for light, company or anything that might bring her some comfort. She released one long ragged breath._

 _"I must stay conscious."_

 _She could not be certain if she spoke them or merely thought them but either way, she ensured the words kept repeating._

 _"I must stay conscious."_

 _She did not know where the mantra had come from but in some way, it felt familiar. It was a calming thought while it lasted. Her gaze fell all too swiftly on the blackness, red eyes splitting the dark as it regarded her._

 _"I must stay conscious."_

 _The more they stared at one another, the more drawn the beast seemed to become. Screams ebbed and flowed in the background of her very being but never enough to retract her focus._

 _"I must stay conscious."_

 _Clawed feet stirred towards her, fur like smoke trailing behind as if with a mind of its own._

 _"I must stay conscious."_

 _Hesitant in every movement, the dark was conflicted. It stopped, shaking its great head and for a matter of seconds, it flashed to smoke. Within the swirling depths another form stood shrouded by the shadow. The screams turned to silence._

 _So transfixed by her desire to see, Ellana's mantra fell away, "I must… I must…"_

 _She missed her chance and the many-eyed wolf reformed but she was willing to wait however long it took._

 _Jarringly loud in the relative quiet she had created, a female voice screamed, "Wake!"_

 _The last thing she saw before she woke was red eyes against black inches from her face._

She sat up in the bed with a start. She reached out a hand to Solas slumbering at her side. Even with her touch, his expression remained vacant. It had been so long since they had walked the Fade together and tonight, it seemed, would do nothing to change that.

* * *

 **A/N - Yeah, I took some pretty serious liberties with the whole bonding thing but I dunno, it's what came. So next one is almost done so should not be long. I've been on a major writing binge of late but not so much on the editing side. May be a bit of a lapse as I've got some real life shit to do but at least I have the bones of a few chapters to work with! Anyway, hope you enjoyed and hope to see you next time!**


	35. The Rebel Mage

**A/N - So...I've just come to the immensely embarrassing realisation that I do a TERRIBLE job of copying and pasting this in to doc manager! I seldom read it on here (usually just on my original word docs) so I did not notice but I'm sure you all must have! I am so sorry! And so embarrassed! I will check through at some point because UGH. There are repeats, missing bits and I cannot describe how horrendous I find it. I really wish I could not be so shit. Sorry!**

* * *

Ellana hurried back to the tower convinced she was going to be late. Each time Emmaera was jostled uncomfortably she let out a disgruntled squeal but all Ellana could do was apologise profusely. She was surprised when she finally made it to the office to find only Solas and Varden present.

"Am I late?" she asked as she barged through the door and ended their quiet mutterings.

Solas gazed quizzically at her. "No… I told the messenger that it was not urgent. They did not relay that message?"

She groaned as she handed the baby off to him. "No they did not. They made it sound rather urgent, in fact."

He sighed, wrapping an arm briefly around her waist. "I am sorry, vhenan, Cyrrian has not yet returned and likely will not until at least the evening. I only intended to inform you of a prospective meeting not an imminent one."

"Not your fault, my love," she uttered, leaning in to him. " _Hey_ , by the way; we missed you…"

He chuckled lightly, drinking in her closeness until Varden coughed very deliberately.

Solas raised an eyebrow. "Envy is a terrible burden, my friend."

"As is pride," Varden added before he could stop himself.

Ellana muffled a laugh rather poorly and Solas glared at them both.

"Oh, don't get grumpy on us," she said, placing a conciliatory kiss on his cheek. "Go put our little one to sleep and find some calm." She hopped up on the desk with a groan. "I am much too exhausted to even move."

With one final frown before he went, Solas did as he was told. Emmaera, oblivious, babbled away happily in his arms.

What passed for a smile for him appeared reluctantly on Varden's features. "So I am to presume that married life is treating you well, my Lady?"

" _Ellana_ , my name is Ellana and I would much prefer you used it," she said sternly, rolling her eyes at the certainty that he would not heed her request. "And yes, it is treating me fine. Much the same as it was before, mind you but I never presumed to think it would not. Years of a relationship were hardly going to be warped for better or worse by a ceremony and a word..."

Varden regarded her blankly, evidently lost by her slight rambling. "I am glad to hear it, my Lady…I think…"

Ellana rolled her eyes yet again. "What about you?" she slyly asked. "Are you and your genteel lover finding your feet?"

His expression instantly fell but he recovered rapidly. "Found and lost repeatedly would be a more accurate assessment. Thank you, by the way, for convincing Fen'Harel to assist her with the nightmares. I regret I did not think of it myself."

With many nights spent together out in the field, Ellana knew well of Shivra's problem but she knew nothing of Solas trying to rectify it.

Her brow furrowed in her confusion. "Nightmares? What are you talking about?"

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second. "You… It was not you? When she described what she experienced, I knew it must have been him but I doubted he would take such an action without your prompting…"

"Wait…Solas helped Shivra with her nightmares? That is what you are saying? _No_ I didn't ask him to!" Her mind shifted back, remembering all Lis had said and experienced in her dreams as well. "I… That's…" Ellana's voice cracked and she trailed off.

"Unexpected," he added, appearing to regret saying it as soon as he had.

A silence followed in which Varden considered her for a moment too long. He seldom gave much away but this time, Ellana could tell that he was approaching her with caution. His gaze flitted to the doorway of the bedroom and they both took in the sounds of Solas speaking quietly to the babbling child in the room beyond.

He rested on her determined eyes again. "I do not claim to know him but you do. Tell me, have you noticed any changes of late?"

Ellana's mind darted between the concept of her claimed knowledge and what he had actually asked before she responded, "Changes? What do you mean 'changes'? Why would you ask that?" Her voice wavered uncomfortably, knowing as she did that the answer to his question was a definite yes.

He regarded her carefully again. "I was told he would and that what we do would change as a result…"

"By whom?" Ellana interrupted.

Varden smiled as much as he was capable. "Who else but Mirwen. But that is…well…"

He fell in to uncomfortable silence but Ellana's racing mind kept her from observing his hesitant disquiet. She should have known it would be Mirwen – it always was.

Varden's gaze flashed back to the doorway and then back to her. "My Lady… _Ellana_ …" He spoke her name as if it caused him great pain but the gesture certainly caught her attention. "If I were to ask something of you, would you be able to keep any mention of it between us?"

Her mind promptly stopped its thrumming. "Keep silent?" This time, her gaze flitted to the doorway and back. "From _him_? Why would you…?"

"I cannot say anymore without your word," he interrupted, eyes boring in to her. "It is a difficult topic and if you are opposed to what I ask, I would rather no mention of it recur. Although I doubt it is something you would even want to say to him, in truth…"

"Is that supposed to be comforting?!" Ellana, started much too loudly. She lowered her voice before continuing, "I cannot give my word wholly, you know that but any concern you may have I would share. If this is about him then _I need to know_. I'll do whatever I can to help but I cannot promise I will remain silent. I can only promise that I have no desire to see you harmed and so, any information you may share that he need not know…well…I can be discreet…"

Varden regarded her cautiously for a long, uneasy moment but a sound from the room beyond broke his concentration.

"Ma lath?" Ellana shouted out hopefully. "Could you…could you run me a bath? I am simply exhausted and gods know I would appreciate it immeasurably!"

There was grumbling from the room beyond but it appeared to end with assent. Ellana turned expectantly back to Varden.

He sighed. "'See the changes as they happen' – that is what the Keeper said and… I did not believe her, of course, doddering fools; even those that claim to see the future are seldom trustworthy but…by some means…she was… _right_ is a strong word…" The imploring look Ellana gave him must have hit its mark as he did not miss a beat. "He has been moving people. For what purpose I cannot even begin to imagine and truth be told, I cannot be _certain_ he is behind it but who else could successfully circumvent my role entirely? Quite literally _everything_ – every operation, every movement, every order passes through me in some capacity but yet, these I have never seen."

Ellana's eyebrow arched. "So you're upset because he is not involving you? That's the issue here?"

His mouth hung open for a second, disbelief so plain Ellana regretted her words. "Do not be absurd!" He spoke with such evident derision that he too seemed to regret having spoken to her in such a way. "Apologies, my Lady but I could care less about my involvement. If he were to strike me from my role, then that would be his prerogative. However, I question why…"

"'Why'?" Ellana interrupted, incredulous still. "Have you thought to ask him?"

He waved a hand dismissively. "Of course. He claims to have no recollection of any of it; denies it ever happened."

That struck a nerve with Ellana. She had long suspected that Varden knew a lot more than she thought to confirm but even he was not privy to it all. To her, it was natural for Solas to keep certain things from him, even more so as they progressed but not how he described. Varden was in deep, he knew far too much in actuality and Solas was well aware of that. Nothing he claimed to see or know could be dismissed so readily and to do so would only break necessary trust. That was how Solas would think in this situation – he would not presume for a moment that he could placate Varden with lies or denials. In fact, Ellana was pretty certain he would just have told him to stay out of it and with a dutiful man such as Varden, it probably would have worked. The fact he had not taken that path actually did make Ellana question him, more than she was comfortable admitting.

"He claimed he couldn't _remember_? That it never _happened_? What did he say when you showed him proof?" she finally answered, voice trembling slightly.

He sighed once more but appeared relieved, as if he could tell she was finally taking him seriously. "I did not get that far. The discussion was wearing on him and I…he appeared to be struggling. I held no wish to push it further. I do not claim to know him as you do, nor hold the power over him that you do…"

"You want me to ask?!" Ellana interrupted, loud again.

He shushed her just as loudly. "No, merely enquire at your own pace. You judge him best, you know how best to approach such a matter. If you require evidence – that, I can give you but I suggest you first simply question. Perhaps he will be more open with you or, at the very least, significantly less likely to react negatively."

Ellana ran a hand across her head. "Don't bloody bet on it. Alright…I'll…I'll see what I can do but don…"

"Vhenan..." The sound of Solas's tone made them both practically jump out of their skin. "…our little one is asleep and your bath is ready."

With the momentum from her fright, she got to her feet with too much eagerness. "Ma lath! Thank goodness! You have no idea how in need I am!"

Her voice kept rising awkwardly and judging by the inquiring gaze he fixed to her, he had noticed. She stopped once she reached him, arms draping naturally about his neck.

"If Cyrrian is not due until later," Varden started from behind. "I will leave you to one another." Ellana turned back to him and saw the purpose behind his eyes for her alone. "Until later."

She nodded ever so slightly before turning her attention back to Solas and his sceptical stare. The second the door clicked shut behind their guest she kissed him.

"Join me," she purred, before planting another lighter kiss upon his lips.

He stared long and hard in to her eyes as his thumb ran slowly down the length of her cheekbone. "As you wish."

* * *

Ellana had so many questions but not the time to ask even one. Solas's appearance had seen to that. She would not question him as she had been tasked, not yet. Although she did not doubt Varden, she had to see the evidence for herself. Solas quite clearly knew something was up and did little to hide that fact. Luckily for her, the idea of them both free of their child's needs and with a warm bath appeared to be the more pressing of his concerns. Quite fortuitously, it did not take all that long for Cyrrian to return to the fold and kill whatever impulse remained to query her. The news he brought certainly warranted their full attention.

The elves Solas had seen fit to hold hostage had more than pulled their weight. With their aid, Cyrrian had made contact with their self-proclaimed queen and it seemed she was willing to meet with them. From that, Ellana found herself travelling to Tevinter awkwardly in the company of both Solas and Cyrrian a few hours later. Cyrrian was their contact so he had to come and apparently this 'Aemilia' had insisted she wished to speak with Fen'Harel himself. Ellana, compelled as she was to follow wherever Solas went, made up the threesome and she just had to deal with it. While they were joined by the band of elves they had promised safe passage, it did little to dampen the uneasy atmosphere. Rumour regarding the Dread Wolf's thorny disposition must have diffused amongst them and so many kept their distance but Ellana did not mind. The introduction of several new personalities was hardly going to help the situation.

Cyrrian gave them a wide berth at first but the longer they all spent together, the more he seemed to wish to prod. Their target was suitably cautious and so had not yet divulged a location for their meeting. It was a wise way of avoiding enemies but it meant the threesome would be forced to spend a rather uncomfortable amount of time together. As minutes of waiting turned to hours, Ellana was increasingly awed by Solas's level of self-control. If she had been able like he was, she would have burned Cyrrian quite a few times but in this instance at least, he acted almost oblivious. He even somehow managed to fall asleep, although that just made Ellana envious. She did suppose that he had more than earned a rest given their earlier bath-time exploits. As she played with the long braid that snaked over her shoulder, she could feel Cyrrian's eyes on her. In an attempt to comfort the nerves tugging at the back of her mind, she laid a hand gently upon Solas's chest to feel his rhythmic breathing. Stare burning upon her still; it did little to quell her annoyance.

"If you don't stop staring at me, I'll wake him up," she threatened rather pathetically.

She could have beaten the abyss out of Cyrrian herself but she could never be as much of a threat in words as the Dread Wolf. Still, Cyrrian just rolled his eyes.

"You have no right to order me," he coldly remarked, sly smile plastered across his aggravating face. "Besides, you owe me. 'All I have to do is name it' – is that not what you said?"

The look he gave made her skin crawl. "It was but…giving words to desires can be dangerous." She flicked her braid free of her hands and fixed her eyes to his. "If you were to name what I think you desire you would _regret_ it. Touch me and he will kill you."

Bizarrely, he laughed and Ellana started to doubt her perception of him.

"The threat of death is amusing to you?" she asked.

He raised an eyebrow, eyes beneath flashing with menace. "Amusing – no. The risk, however, is oddly appealing…"

His words ended abruptly as a groan emanated from Solas. He sat up shortly after, looking around until his eyes rested on Ellana.

"She saw me," he breathed quietly.

Ellana's brow furrowed. " _Who_ saw you?"

His eyes were abnormally wide and filled with wonder. "The rebel mage – the one we are meeting. I searched for her in the Fade, found her and…she _saw_ me, vhenan…reacted to my presence…"

"How is that possible?" Ellana asked, Cyrrian long forgotten. "You were visible?" He nodded. "But you did not grant her awareness?" He nodded again. "And it wasn't just her seeing you? She actually _did_ something?"

"She spoke to me, vhenan, actually spoke to me!" he replied excitedly. "Not a lot and she seemed incapable of much else but that alone is remarkable!" He rose to his feet to pace about.

"So what does that mean, Solas? She is a dreamer like you?" Ellana asked feeling pitifully left out.

He stared down at the ground in thought. "I do not know; the capability is evidently there…" He met her gaze, blue eyes bright with delight. "She has my interest - that much is certain." He resumed his impatient pacing. "Any word whilst I was out?" Ellana shook her head and with a groan, he halted. "Damn. I tire of all this waiting"

He glanced away from her, eyes falling on Cyrrian and the glint within them underwent a notable change. Ellana knew that look and was certain she knew what was coming. Solas had always remained surprisingly aware of the outside world while dreaming. She considered distracting him but the desire to watch it play out won the day.

Head cocked to one side, Solas paced over to stop a foot or so from the ignorant elf. "She was right you know - desire can be dangerous." He crouched down so his cold stare could fully meet its target. "Touch her and I _will_ kill you – that is a promise and I can assure you, there will be nothing remotely appealing about it."

He left Cyrrian to retake his position by Ellana's side in uncomfortable silence.

* * *

Heavy silence endured until a raven came and broke it. At long last they had a location and something to occupy them other than bickering. Still, Ellana could not rid herself of the difficult feeling that wavered in the back recesses of her mind. She was reluctant to give it much thought but if she had, she would have known that it was jealousy she was feeling. She usually loved the rare times Solas fell in to exuberant fascination but this time was different. She had never even met this 'Aemilia' woman but she already resented her.

They found themselves out in the middle of nowhere. Ellana had no idea what part of Tevinter they were in anymore but Solas at least seemed to know where their nearest exit was. She was glad although not bothered by the notion of escape. With Solas on hand, she doubted there was anything here that could make them run. The location they were aiming for turned out to be a dilapidated farmhouse in the centre of the nothingness. Initially, Ellana thought it must be a mistake but the rather obvious guards posted outside stopped her short of voicing her doubts. Their reluctant companions abandoned them to the guards almost immediately but they did not need their introductions. Hindered for only a matter of seconds, Solas led them in - a few words from him all it took to gain them entry. With his golden armour concealed beneath a cloak, it seemed that nowadays it did not matter what guise he wore, he would always have that effect on people. Inside, the building seemed to consist of one large room but wrecked structures were still enough to obstruct their view of the voices that permeated through.

"…an hour if we're lucky," said one of the voices.

An almost melodic groan sounded before another voice cut it short, "If we have to move then so be it. We cannot risk waiting on the promise they will turn up."

"Then _leave,_ " interrupted the first clearly female voice. "I do not hold you here but I am waiting. Let the Hunters come…"

The voices trailed off as Ellana and her companions finally found their way out in to the open. Three elves stood beneath a large hole in the roof and beside them, a makeshift fire roared with unnaturally green-tinted flames. The only female amongst the three was the best dressed by far – olive robes artfully playing off the hues of her golden hair. She was good-looking in a simple way but what stood out most were her eyes – pale brown that looked almost yellow in the dancing firelight. She regarded each of the new faces judiciously, eyes seeming to rest on Solas the longest until she turned her consideration back to Cyrrian. She strode out and wrapped her arms around him without any hesitation.

"My brother, it has been much too long," she purred before pulling away. "Leave us," she ordered of her people without so much as a glance back.

The fact that they did not seem at all fazed by her lack of interest only confirmed for Ellana that this style of leadership was a regular thing for this woman.

"The far too few letters you sent suggest you are managing well, yes?" the golden haired elf went on with a hurt scowl. Cyrrian nodded and made to speak but she went on over him, "And you must be the great Fen'Harel." She turned to Solas with a sly smile. "I must say the wolf is something of a deceptive moniker; I expected a far more…hulking…individual."

Solas's eyes narrowed. "Wolves favour cunning over brute strength; an attribute you will come to understand I utilise rather well…"

Her eyebrow arched the slightest bit. "I look forward to it… After all, a man with wits seldom loses the day…in _my_ experience…"

Solas's eyes widened at that; the parted lips and sultry tone with which she spoke seeming to have finally communicated to him what Ellana and her envy had seen all along. Unwilling to continue watching this woman, she glanced briefly at Cyrrian who regarded her in turn. He shook his head lightly.

With an internal roll of the eyes, Ellana turned back to the source of her envy just as Solas finally found words, "You must be Aemilia, I have heard much about you…"

"And I you, although some I imagine is more legend than fact."

Solas would rarely pass up an opportunity to discuss how wrong modern elves were about him but now he was clearly much too uncomfortable to even entertain the idea.

"Quite," he interjected dismissively before turning to Ellana with concern only she could see beneath his façade. "Cyrrian you already know as one of my Commanders and this…this is Ellana Lavellan - my _wife_." He stated her title with such emphasis that it was obvious to them all how clear he wanted to make it.

Ellana failed spectacularly to suppress a smirk. Everything in her wanted to add, _"That's right, bitch,"_ but somehow she resisted. She had never suffered jealousy like this with any man so she had presumed it was beneath her. Evidently that was not the case.

Aemilia's eyes widened almost immediately. "Oh…" Recovering rapidly, she painted a smile across her lips. "It is a pleasure to meet you, I'm sure," she said, reaching out for Ellana's reluctant hand. "Lavellan - that is a Dalish name, is it not?"

Ellana released her as expeditiously as she could without seeming overtly rude. "It is. Is that a problem for you?" She felt Solas's palm press in to her back and knew he was likely glaring down on her.

"No, of course not!" Aemilia replied, golden hair dancing around her features with apparent embarrassment. "It is simply curious… I am sorry if I have offended you in any way; that was not my intent."

Ill-advisedly, Ellana took this moment to look up at Solas. The anger she had expected was absent from him, his expression swimming instead with both understanding and imploration. She sighed to herself, the smallest smile tugging the corners of her mouth.

"I took no offence," she stated, trying her best to appear sincere. "Our journey has been long and in my tiredness… I apologise if I portrayed myself rudely - you have done nothing to warrant that..."

Solas's hand glided up and down her back in a brief gesture of thanks before he took control of the conversation.

"Cyrrian tells me you have interest in working with us. While we would welcome such an opportunity, I would know what your expectations may be," he asked.

Aemilia tore her gaze from Ellana and back to Solas, cautious curiosity replaced by a more ardent one. "I do not know how much our mutual friend has deigned to tell you," she started with a knowing look in Cyrrian's direction. "But I have fought against the tyranny of our slave masters for quite some time and _not once_ have we even come close to resolution. So many of our people know nothing but their bonds. Those that do seldom think to unite and fighting alone…well…that is as good as a death sentence." She sighed mirthlessly, golden hair falling about her face. "We cannot change things, not when we are so weak, not when we lack the numbers or the hope to go on." Her expression abruptly brightened. "Your people are different. Everything you touch is changed and I trust you can do the same for Tevinter. Your people - they have the numbers, they have the organisation and what's more, they have _you_ …"

Solas regarded her with scepticism. "You want me to free all the slaves of Tevinter – that is quite the expectation…"

"But yet it is not an expectation you are dismissing outright, most interestingly," she interjected with a sly smirk.

Ellana gazed up at Solas as his own smirk slowly formed. "No, I am not. Merely ensuring you realise the extent of what you ask of us and what I might require in return. Before we get to that, I would ask you…" He paused briefly as though considering his phrasing.

"About the dream?" she finished for him. "You were the wolf, weren't you? Oh, I _knew_ it! I mean…I presumed but I could not fully grasp it at the time…" Her tone had grown more and more excited with each word. "You can control it fully? Make yourself what you wish?" Solas nodded with a self-satisfied grin. "That is simply _fascinating_! You must…!"

The crash of a door cut her words short and Ellana let out a breath of relief. Watching this exchange was getting painful.

"Hunters sighted to the north! Ten minutes at best!" shouted a voice from behind them.

Aemilia's bronze eyes expanded with fear. Surprisingly fast given her clear preference for magic, she left them to attend to her people – all else forgotten in the wake of the threat.

"Hunters?" Ellana enquired of Cyrrian.

He turned to her, eyebrow raised in what she perceived as mocking of the situation she just had to endure. "Slave-hunters to be exact. The Imperium's entire economy rests on the backs of the enslaved. These hunters exist across the land to crush rebellion and return the free to their rightful place."

" _Lovely_ ," she replied, nose crinkling in disgust. She turned back slightly as Solas met her, warm and reassuring as he always was. "Tevinter is quite literally the worst."

Solas chuckled lightly, his chest rising and falling satisfyingly against her back. "A true sentiment but not without flaws. All places have their horrors, vhenan; Tevinter's are just significantly more apparent."

"Yet no one does anything about it," she added angrily. "If only more people would think more than 'out of sight, out of mind' then maybe…"

"First our situation and then bettering the world, vhenan," Solas interrupted, earning a glower. Ignoring her ire, he turned his attention to Cyrrian. "For the sake of clarity, these are individuals who make a career out of returning individuals to slavery or killing them if they cannot – is that correct?"

"Well, yes," Cyrrian replied, appearing somewhat taken aback by Solas's sudden attention. "Although I doubt many humans within this nation would regard the act with such derision…"

"Claimed ignorance does not absolve one of their sins," Solas interrupted firmly. "Nor does it slow the coming of retribution."

"Woe betide the day they bite off more than they can chew," Ellana added, anticipation already building in her chest at the mere suggestion.

Her voice trailed off as Aemilia returned to the fray. "They will be upon us soon. We can take down a few but we will have to run."

Ellana exchanged a look with Solas, one that made him tilt his head and roll his eyes slightly. A wicked grin threatened the breadth of her lips in reply.

"The Dread Wolf has never been much of a runner," she remarked.

Aemilia gazed at them disbelievingly. "These are seasoned hunters in numbers – my people have seen them. They will be upon us in moments and to engage them fully would be suicide…"

With a raised hand, Solas interrupted her, "But you do engage them? If these men were to meet their ends…their deaths would not be thought of as out of the ordinary?"

"We have never fought this many," Aemilia replied, notably sceptical. "But I suppose…if we could, their deaths would not be questioned…"

"Excellent," Solas interrupted yet again. He gazed down on Ellana with chin raised, eyes glinting and half-smile fixed – pride in both name and appearance. "It is not in a wolf's nature to retreat, right vhenan?"

"So predictable," she purred before taking his hand in hers. "If they seek to chain or end us as they have done to so many then they will be in for a surprise."

She led him out the way they had come enjoying every moment of her rival's incredulous stare. A few paces away she heard her speaking to Cyrrian.

"They wish to fight them? _All_ of them?"

Cyrrian laughed lightly. "Unless we are talking about an army, they can handle it."

Their voices faded out the closer Ellana got to the front of the building. Solas shook loose of her hand, his arm finding the curve of her waist instead and holding her in close.

"I am sorry, vhenan, for…all of that," he uttered quietly.

She grabbed his hand back to pull on him as she backed out the door. "You did nothing to vex me, my love; your admirer however…"

He allowed himself a few notes of laughter. "One would hope she has understood the picture. I cannot surmise a way I could have been any clearer."

"Really?" she added, with her own laugh. "I can think of _one_ way…" She licked her lips suggestively.

He rolled his eyes. "There are times I wonder what personal flaw attracted me to such a lewd woman."

"You know you love it."

He drew her in closer with a hand pulling her braid to raise her lips to his. He lowered his voice to a growl, "That I do."

The two they had left behind came rushing out to join them but neither Ellana nor Solas made any moves to part from one another.

"Tell your people to wait inside," Solas ordered of Aemilia. "Their involvement is not necessary."

She nodded and set about organising her people. In the corner of her vision, Ellana could see Cyrrian rolling his eyes at the sight of Solas and her.

"Ready for this, vhenan?" Solas asked; eyes fixed on her in spite of the ominous forms in the distance.

"Always."

With glowing eyes, he took her head in his hands and the familiar pale-blue hue passed down over her skin. It tingled and sparked oddly. She lacked the proper ability to sense changes in magical energies but Solas's tutelage had abided her enough knowledge to know when something was different. She gazed up at him questioningly.

"Something I have been working on for you, my love. Protection as always but with a little something extra. Excluding myself of course, anyone you touch is in for a shock," he explained with a sly smile.

She raised an eyebrow. "Was that supposed to be a pun? An actual pun? Gods, Solas; I'll find out for myself," she lamented, striding away towards the approaching figures in mock disgust.

"Try not to have too much fun with it," he called after her, chuckling away to himself.

By the time the figures were close enough to actually resemble people, Ellana had stopped a distance from them. Solas came to her side, a hand finding the small of her back just as Aemilia came forward too.

"Halt!" shouted out a voice from amongst the humans. "By decree of the Archon, elven must submit or face the blade!"

Ellana stared up at Solas, darkness rising in his eyes.

"No," he said blankly as he raised a hand.

The humans had no time to even begin to react before a wave of Solas's magic wove through them. It cut down the numbers long before Ellana moved. She spun to dodge the attack of the first man she reached, skilfully flicking her heavy braid to strike at his face. As soon as it touched him, the effect was instant and he fell to the floor still sparking.

"Ooo! I like it!" Ellana shouted over the din of battle, already flitting off to her next target.

"I surmised you would, vhenan!" Solas called back.

A light kick or even the graze of an elbow was enough to take down the majority of her combatants and that was a powerful feeling. She had felt such power before, her well-earned skill in battle affording her much but this was far more intoxicating. She found herself wondering how Solas remained at all reserved, especially given that his power dwarfed what she was experiencing to a near ludicrous degree. Every so often as she fought, magic she did not recognise flurried past her. She took a moment to look back and saw Aemilia had chosen to fight with them, annoyingly right by Solas's side. A glance to her right as she kicked yet another further revealed that Cyrrian too fought alongside them. In all her dislike of him, she had never thought to consider his skill in combat and now she watched, she had to admit that it was a pleasing sight. He noticed her watching and raised an eyebrow as his fist met the face of some hapless Imperial. He nodded behind, drawing Ellana's eyes in that direction before moving off once again. As the numbers thinned out, she had noticed that Solas's magic affected fewer and was far less devastating than she had come to expect and thanks to Cyrrian, she saw why. Ellana watched as Aemilia would send out a spell and then he would reply, quite clearly holding back but still just besting her; she then upped the ante and Solas did so too. It was playful, painfully like flirting and it made her blood boil. She met her next few combatants with all her misplaced fury as she made an effort to travel back towards Solas.

"Could you stop playing around and actually do something helpful!" she shouted, her fist bashing more aggressively than was needed in to a nearby skull.

She had managed to bring herself within a few paces of Solas so he grabbed her with little effort. In a matter of moments, she was pinned hard against his chest by a tightly wrapped arm around her waist.

"You have the power of the abyss at your fingertips, vhenan," he purred in her ear, voice thick with his vanity. "You have but to ask…"

Energy fabricated and swirled around them, building to a head at his side. She had never been this close to him when he was casting and to be so now was yet another intoxicating experience. His expression twitched with the anger and disgust he felt towards those he aimed to fell, his usual calm so weak that it barely even registered. He outstretched his free hand and spears of intense light hurtled out to render in pieces any man they touched. Once the last spear had made its wicked journey, it was all but done.

Aemilia said something but Ellana could not hear the words. She had been enraptured, wholly and completely and her breathing had become heavy. As the grip of Solas's arm loosened, she finally regained her breath and her senses.

Aemilia was still prattling on at their side, "Your power…it's… That was…"

"Miraculous," Ellana finished for her.

She gazed up at Solas but his attention remained focused on those few enemies that ran. It was not long before he moved off in pursuit but Ellana still swore she saw something marring his usually so familiar aspect. She shook her head, widening her eyes slightly to ensure she had definitely seen the black, vein-like marks tarnishing his skin but he was gone before she could confirm it. None escaped the Dread Wolf's wrath – turned to stone in reward of their futile efforts. Aemilia regarded it from Ellana's side with wonder but she no longer shared in her rapture. Solas did not use this power outside of the world of the mirrors; "to do so," he had claimed, "would leave a declaration of my presence for all to see." He was probably more than capable of destroying the evidence but even still, Ellana was left questioning what had changed. The breath caught in her throat as he touched a finger to the forehead of one statue and coldly laughed as it burst in to dust.


	36. The Many-Eyed Wolf

Even Dhaveira's happy shrieks could not rid Ellana of the sound of that laugh. It had plagued her for days, creeping in from the periphery whenever she found a moment's quiet. She did not recognise that Solas. She found comfort in the most logical explanation – that it was not him. The evidence Varden had shown her and the certain knowledge that Solas was undoubtedly moving people only added to that theory. She had collected piles of books on the subject of abominations but even with all the knowledge they held, they were limited. Few could claim to have direct experience; there were hardly books written from the perspective of the possessed and those that did succumb seldom lasted long enough to be recorded in any detail. As Ellana read, the more her mind wandered to Varric. She had thought of him now and again - what he was doing now, what he thought of her and all they alone had shared but never had she considered contacting him. Now was different, now he was the perfect person. She smiled thinking back to the stolen glimpse of Solas's journal and the name written within. Varric could have made a lot of money closely documenting Anders the famous abomination that started the mage-templar war.

"Oh, Ellana! You _must_ come see this!"

Her mother's sharp tone splintered her focus with more ease than any sound could. Frown formed by the interruption, she could see nothing but Dhaveira's great hide. She got to her feet with a groan.

" _Ellana!"_ her mother hissed once more.

"I'm coming! Give me a damn minute," Ellana replied as she made the long journey around the dragon to reach the demanding woman behind.

" _Be quiet!_ You'll wake her!"

Ellana rolled her eyes thinking it something of an ironic statement given her mother's own volume. Dhaveira rumbled and raised her great head to bear down on the tiny form of Siona sitting next to her curled bulk. She shrieked softly in the direction of her lap before the elf turned up and shushed her.

"Da…da…da…"

The sound cut straight through Ellana's heart. She stopped in her tracks.

"Dada… Dada…"

Her mouth fell open. She quickened her pace to her mother's side and knelt, eyes immovable from her sleeping daughter.

"Dada… Dada? Da…da…"

"She's…she's…" Ellana could not find the words.

"She's saying 'Daddy'!" her mother finished for her. "Isn't that just wonderful?! She's never tried that before, has she? And in her sleep as well!"

Siona's volume provoked a wriggle from the child along with a disgruntled sound.

"Never," Ellana replied in a whisper. "Just nonsense words… It's…It's…" She trailed off with the weight of emotion.

Her mother held no such difficulty finding speech. "And he wasn't here! How disappointing! We will have to tell him!"

Ellana stared down as Emmaera's eyes slowly opened, no longer able to suffer her grandmother's shrill voice.

"Dada?"

Tears welled as Ellana gazed in to her daughters questioning features.

"No, my darling," she said as she took her in her arms. "Daddy is working but he would just love to see you." She fluttered her fingers and the little one beamed a smile. "Your daddy loves you just like your mummy."

"Dada!" the little one replied before degenerating in to long babbled sentences punctuated by the occasional giggle.

"Yes, my darling," Ellana breathed, looking down on her child with melancholy.

Siona tried to catch her gaze. "Do not fear, my child. He may have missed the first but he will be there for the many thousands of repeats."

Ellana did little to hide the doubt in her eyes. She broke away from her mother but Siona did not give up so easily.

"What troubles you, da'len?" She exhaled a note of a laugh. " _Much_ , I am sure but I have sensed a change in you of late. As if something is building beneath the surface but I know you, my girl, I know when it's becoming too much."

"Ha!" Her mother glared at her for the laugh. "I've been in over my head pretty much every day since I left the clan but…" Ellana's expression turned suddenly serious. "I've always known what to do. I may not have liked it or thought I was capable but I have always known. Now though…I don't know anything anymore."

"But you have him. He supports you. Even when you feel incapable, he is there to make sure you achieve your goals…"

 _"_ _His_ goals," Ellana could not help but say. She turned away from her mother, damning herself.

"Ah…so _that's_ it." Siona touched her hand to her daughter's arm and spun her reluctantly back in to view. "You no longer want the same things." Ellana barely met her gaze. "Does he know? Have you spoken with him?"

Ellana looked away entirely. "Not directly but…he must know… He knows me, Mamae, all of me. He must know that I cannot…"

She trailed off in to silence as her mother pulled her in to a warm embrace. "My girl, if he already knows then why falter? Trust in what you have. He will understand. He is yours and you are his. You fight together now, not alone."

She breathed in her mother's scent. She wanted to say, "I _am_ alone but not him, not anymore," but she held back. Dhaveira got to her feet in the background and hailed a rock-shaking shriek. The sound of scuffing stone kept on long after the shriek died. Ellana expected Solas, his timing always had been perfectly terrible but it was not him. Mirwen paced towards them, no hesitation registering in her gait. If it was even possible, Ellana's expression fell further.

"Be still, soaring bird," Mirwen said in reply to a warning growl from Dhaveira. "We have met many times in my dreams albeit not in yours, unseeing raven that you are. You already see too much in this world."

Dhaveira trilled cautiously as the old woman outstretched a hand to her. She glanced back to Ellana and sounded another shriek.

"Wiser than most, you saw what was hidden. You understood better than any that came after. You see more than most could ever dream."

The dragon accepted her hand, head moving back and forward against it in instruction. Mirwen was stroking her dutifully long before Ellana made it to them.

Siona spoke before she had a chance. "Good day. I do not believe we have met? Have we, _Ellana_?"

She gazed expectantly at her daughter but Ellana found herself distracted by their visitor's expression. At the mere sight of Siona, Mirwen's face had darkened almost instantly.

"No, we have not met," she started in Ellana's place. "I am Mirwen – Keeper to the clan Namahris. You must be Ellana's mother."

"She delivered Em, Mamae," Ellana added.

Likely thinking of the rumours she too had heard about Mirwen's clan, Siona's features had fallen but they brightened up again just as quickly.

"You did?" she breathed, emotion thick in her words. "Then I cannot thank you enough! You must be very important to Ellana and I cannot imagine why she would not have thought to introduce us sooner." The obvious scolding did little but make Ellana roll her eyes. "I have heard of your clan but I did not know you were present in this place. There are many entire Dalish clans? I have only seen fragments within the camps…"

"Mother," Ellana interrupted with her gaze firmly planted on Mirwen. "Could you take Em back home? She must be tired and I…Mirwen and I have much to discuss."

Siona glared at her. "I _believe_ I was told not to walk alone with her through the camps! And now you want me to take her through the woods as well?"

"Yes, Mother, just do it…please," Ellana interrupted yet again. "I'm sorry but could you? It would…"

" _Fine_. If that is what you need then I am not about to deny you." She nodded to Mirwen apologetically. "My daughter can be rather rude at times. I hope you will not consider it a mark on my parenting, but it was lovely to meet you. Perhaps we can continue our meeting in the camps at another point?"

"That would be lovely," Mirwen replied, nodding in turn but likely having no intention to keep such plans. "I valued meeting you as well. You have raised a wonderful daughter."

Siona beamed briefly at her before noticing Ellana's glare and making to leave. She turned back after only a few steps. "What would you have me tell her father? He will wonder where I have left you."

Ellana shrugged. "Tell him I was waylaid by someone and will return shortly."

Her mother nodded but before she could get far, Mirwen shouted, "Don't mention me! The Dread Wolf thinks I'm a menace!"

Ellana brought her palm to her forehead. Her mother had finally made it out of earshot but even still, she lowered her voice. "Did you have to? Next time I see her that is all she will ask about."

"So answer her; tell her all. It is hardly complicated."

Ellana's breath rattled in frustration. "I can't do that! Do you know what she would do if she knew everything? Worry herself sick if not try and solve it all. Which no one can do but me apparently."

"What mother does not wish to know their child? Do you not think she sees how much the wolf is privy to and feels outdone?"

"I'm sure she does but that doesn't mean it's what's best for her. Concern, disappointment and fear are all she would gain from that conversation," Ellana interjected with a roll of her eyes.

Mirwen sighed. "Some day you might regret not letting her in and then there will be nothing you can do but mourn that which you denied yourself…and her… Concern, disappointment, fear – all are nothing in the face of regret."

Ellana stared at her for much too long. Eyes narrowed, she could not tell if that was simply a maternal warning or an actual prophecy. Either way it did not matter, Ellana knew that no good could come of hurting her mother with that sort of knowledge.

"Regret…ha," she mused quietly. "Fitting you would choose to use that term given what a strong driver it is for the man I love." She turned away from Mirwen, hands fidgeting at her waist.

"He is the topic of discussion." Out of the corner of her eye, Ellana saw her expression fall. "You have found something…"

"Not found," Ellana interrupted. "He _told_ me he was an abomination and in truth, I should have known all along. I'm sure you did."

"Of course I did." Mirwen's tone held a hint of derision. "Have you not seen abominations? The few that survive long enough exhibit glowing eyes much like his." Her hand found Ellana's arm, blue stare boring in to her. "But that was Mythal. A gift from his world meant to grant him the strength to press on, not…"

"And it is destroying him!" Ellana unexpectedly yelled.

The sudden volume made the Keeper jump but she recovered quickly, calm in the face of anything. "What did he tell you of the spirit?"

"That she is purpose…that…that…" She considered Mirwen for a long moment. "That she is more like Mythal than anything."

"Yes. More like Mythal than anything." She compelled Ellana's eyes to her own. "From what you know of Mythal, would you say she is likely to submit to corruption?"

"But she is! I can see it! Every moment that passes his heart darkens and I can see the effect it is having on him! She is a spirit; she could never stand the corruption of this world…"

"And yet, she did. For centuries. Do you imagine the Witch of the Wilds was free of corruption? Better at controlling a spirit than a god-like being who lived with similar bonds for much of his near eternal life?"

"But that…that…" Ellana held her head in her hands. "If not that, then…" She stared up at Mirwen, grey eyes absorbed by question. "What?"

Mirwen dipped to meet her lowered height. "Walk the path. Trudge on until the fork comes and keep on. The answer lies already in your mind. Dream and it will find you, long before you need it. Think to dream."

As Mirwen walked away, Ellana wanted to stop her but she could not. Her legs barely seemed able to hold her weight, let alone chase after the Keeper. Beside her, Dhaveira shrieked defiantly; a puff of blue fire propelled to cover the scorched columns that led on to the dreaded doorway.

* * *

"Teaching her? Like, alone?" Lis tried to clarify, struggling. "So, they're together…alone, having lessons or something and you're _okay_ with this?"

Ellana said nothing. She had no idea how to put in to words the way she felt about it. Jealous would be the honest term. Aemilia had agreed to work with them and that was a wonderful thing for their cause but she also essentially invited herself to their home. Ellana hated the idea but said nothing; this rebel mage was, after all, just what they needed. Normally the idea of Solas alone with another woman would not have bothered her in the slightest but this was different. Aemilia interested him, not in the same way as Ellana knew she did but that was how it started. On the way back from Tevinter, the two of them had talked for hours about the wonders of magic, leaving Ellana to feel completely forgotten. He had so much in common with this Tevene elf that she could never have and a part of her was simply jealous of that fact. On top of that, the possessive part of her saw the first real threat their relationship had suffered. Luckily for her, her friends did not seem fazed by her silence – happily filling it for her.

"Who gives a shit?" Shivra added. "So he's teaching her; since when does teaching lead to fucking?"

Lis rolled her eyes. "I'm not saying it does but it _might_ and maybe that bothers El? I mean, it's not like he's ever shown the remotest interest in any other woman up until this point…even that must make her worry…"

Lis gawped expectantly at her but Ellana was too lost in thought to notice. Truth be told, Aemilia was far from her most pressing concern. She was jealous, that was true but it was certainly not what kept her awake at night.

"Fine, you're right," Shivra conceded, her eyes now also trained on Ellana. "The issue isn't him; it's what El thinks and just fucking look at her! Can't even focus for a few minutes." She waved a hand in front of Ellana's face. " _Hello_? You in there?"

The sudden close movement broke Ellana from her thoughts. "What?"

Her eyes darted between them all as they simply stared back at her.

"Wow…she is pretty far gone…" Lori breathed with a sigh.

"Far gone? About what?" Ellana asked in an irritated tone. "Are we still on the Tevene? For fucks sake! I told you – I am not jealous!" Her voice rose uncomfortably.

Shivra raised an eyebrow. " _Yeah_ , you are…"

Ellana tired of the argument. "Okay, fine – maybe I am a bit jealous but not because I think he's going to sleep with her; he would never do that. It's…it's stupid." She sighed in the face of yet more doubting stares. "Knowledge is Solas's first love; if he finds something interesting then that is all he sees… I guess…I worry that if he spends enough time with this woman then maybe…maybe he'll find her more interesting than me. It's so stupid and childish and I know I can't…"

"Bullshit," the sound of Miris's soft voice stopped Ellana in her tracks. "Not what you're saying, that is valid but the thought behind it. I barely know the guy but even I know that if you showed up right in the middle of their little lesson, dressed to the nines – he would drop her in a second."

"But you don't know Solas," Ellana added. "Teaching, learning, all of that – he may be a man but sex comes second…"

"Bull. Shit," Miris repeated before unexpectedly getting to her feet; gone before Ellana could even think to open her mouth.

She turned to the others. "What the…?"

Miris stomped back in to the tent, throwing a bundle of fabric down in to Ellana's lap. "I will bet you anything that if you put that on and go interrupt them right now, he will forget that bitch even exists."

"What is it? A dress?" Shivra added, eyeing the fabric as Ellana examined it herself. "I second that bet."

"Me too!" Lis added with a grin.

Ellana stood and holding the fabric by what appeared to be straps, she allowed the dress to fall free. "You have got to be kidding me. It's practically sheer! Is that a slit?!" She turned to Miris accusingly. "Why do you even have this?"

She turned ever so slightly pink. "Well…for a job originally but I kept it… For the ladies, you know?" Her expression regained its confidence. "Anyway, it's not sheer – that's lace and beading; and the slit…well…"

"For the ladies?" Ellana asked with a raised eyebrow.

Miris nodded, unashamed. "Are you going to try it on then or what?"

"No!"

Lis joined Miris on her feet, hand to Ellana in appeasement. "Come on, El. It'll be fun." Ellana glared at her. "Maybe not fun but wouldn't it ease your worry? Might not take it away completely but even if it helps a little, why not try?"

Ellana rolled her eyes. "Fine. I will try it on." Her friends all appeared gleeful. "But I am not saying I will go and see him!"

"Fine, fine ,fine," Miris interrupted, nudging her out to find privacy. "That remains to be seen."

* * *

Ellana felt ridiculous. Her envy may have been real but it should have been beneath her. She could not help but think of a child vying for attention and that thought alone made her feel pathetic. The dress itself was gorgeous. Not Ellana's taste, that was certain but undeniably beautiful nonetheless. It was sheer despite Miris's continued insistence to the contrary. Panels of coloured fabric, each practically see-through, formed an overall print; sparingly used sections of silver embroidery and beading all that covered her modesty. That was not the only thing that brought her discomfort. The neckline dipped much lower than she would have liked and the flowy skirts parted at one side, cut so high that with a slight movement, Ellana could reveal much of her near naked hip. Miris was taller than her and her body, significantly less curved in the hips and breast. The dress being fitted to a more willowy frame only amplified its provocative features.

"You wear it well," Miris purred, examining her proudly. "You can come in!" she called out to the others.

First through, Lis stopped in her tracks. "Damn!"

Shivra bumped in to her and they argued loudly as Lori came through. She reached out and touched the fabric.

"It's like stained glass," she quietly mused.

"Yeah, if stained glass had a naked woman under it," Shivra added with a laugh.

Miris promptly hit her over the head but Ellana had already started to redden uncontrollably.

Shivra kept on, "So you going to go get him or what?"

Ellana shook her head, arms desperately trying to conceal at least some of her bare body. "I can't go out looking like this! It was stupid anyway…"

"El, just damn well go," Lis piped up. "You look amazing and you clearly need this. No one will care."

Miris took her by the shoulders. "Look, you have a mountain of worries. So many that I don't even know how you do it. This is one; a tiny one, maybe but it is still adding to all the others. Get out there and slay that Tevene. Fuck everyone else – they are only looking because who damn well wouldn't. Cross this worry off the list like you know you can."

Ellana stared at the ground for a long moment. "Alright," she said, finally meeting Miris's gaze. "Bring it on."

* * *

When Solas taught Ellana about the magical arts it was a worthwhile experience but undeniably limited. She lacked the ability to put anything he told her in to practice and although it seemed to do nothing to dampen her enjoyment of the learning, it did leave him with a sense of emptiness. Aemilia was a different story entirely. She had the ability. The well-established conventions of her previous tutelage did do something to hamper her efforts but she seemed more than willing to cast off these limitations. It was heartening to see, most of all because he could see it so directly. Each time she succeeded in grasping a new skill it felt like a personal victory for him – bursting forth just as easily as the magic did from her. The only factor that did bother him was her intent. Ellana approached any subject with curiosity and little else – the desire to learn purely for the sake of it. Aemilia, again, was completely different. Her desire was for power and with the knowledge he brought, that was all she was trying to gain. Still, he worried little. Teaching her was gratifying and could be beneficial in the long run. If it went the other way then that was a risk he was willing to take. The likelihood that she could ever come close to surpassing him was next to none and he was prepared to put her down if needs must.

He knew that Ellana had not liked his new student at their first meeting and likely continued to do so but he was oblivious to the continual jealousy she suffered. In Solas's mind it did not matter, he loved Ellana and that was clear so she had nothing to be jealous about. He viewed it much as he viewed her rather thorny relationship with Cyrrian. In a way it was different because she hated his attentions and Solas knew that – her discomfort the only reason he had thought to threaten him in the first place. If she had appreciated the adoration, he would have simply allowed her the enjoyment. As long as it did not cross the line in to the territory that he alone occupied, he did not care and he just presumed she felt the same way.

Aemilia had made some pretty pathetic attempts at seduction. Whenever it did happen, he rebuffed her politely but if it ever went any further, he was ready to end it all there and then. On this day, she had actually said little – her focus purely on the knowledge he imparted. They had been sitting in the war room for some time mulling over texts. She seemed to dislike these sorts of lessons. While Solas saw great value in theory, she seemed to covet the more practical side.

Golden hair partially covering her features, she gazed up at him from the book she had been poring over. "Are you ever going to show me this or will our studies of the Fade always be purely academic?"

He smiled at her eagerness. "Perhaps some day. For now I… Now is not a good time." He downturned his head ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry; I should not have asked." Her brow crinkled up and she reached out a hand to touch his forearm. "You seem troubled."

He pulled away from her; hand he had taken brushing awkwardly across his head. "It is nothing. Not your concern."

Still not fully deterred, she leant forward against the table. "You bear so many burdens upon your shoulders. Too much for one man alone…"

"How fortuitous then that I have so many to help me carry the load," he interrupted with an angered crinkle in his nose. "It remains no concern of yours."

It was a harsh statement, too harsh but he needed her to stop. Even the suggestion that he was alone was already birthing fear and that blended with the strange mixture of anger and desire he already felt would likely not end well.

Her expression crumpled with hurt. "Is it too much to show concern? Is she so insecure that I cannot even…?"

"This is not about Ellana," he interrupted, spite biting through but still predominantly measured. "It never was. _Learn_. That is all I want from you. If that is too much to ask then…"

A crash from the office cut his words short. Both of them, distracted from their tense discussion, turned towards the sound. Aemilia gazed back at him questioningly but he was already on the move.

"Ellana?" he called out, office empty and absent of explanation. "Ellana is that…"

An empty inkwell lay smashed on the floor. It had likely made its home somewhere within the disorder of his desk but now it sat almost in the centre of the room. He raised an eyebrow, the sound of the padding feet of the likely culprit audible from the bedroom.

"Ellana!" he called out again. "Ellana, I know…"

"Yes, my love?"

Words abandoned him. Not because she had chosen to interject, her words had been much too quiet for that - his mouth had in fact fallen open the second he saw her. She stood casually leaning on the doorframe. Silver hair tousled about her shoulders, she wore perhaps the most enthralling dress he had ever seen upon her form. It showed skin, a great deal in fact but just enough that he was still left wishing for the parts it did not show. She had kept her eyes from him but not any longer. With a flick of her hair, she watched him beneath a mischievously arched eyebrow.

"Ma lath?" she asked with a hint of melody in her voice. "Are you quite well?"

She shifted her weight to one side and out of the edge of her skirt a leg and hip, nude excluding the small line of her undergarments, flashed free. His already wide eyes somehow widened further.

She giggled lightly, turning to what was likely a stunned Aemilia behind him. "Has he been like this all afternoon?"

She did not get a chance to answer. Solas had found at least some sense, albeit a primal one. He strode to Ellana and she recoiled at the intensity as he met her.

"Vhenan," he managed as he kicked the bedroom door shut behind them.

* * *

Aemilia's face had been a picture and Solas's a close second. Ellana's rival was likely still out in the office ruminating on what had just happened but she had other concerns. Solas had a hand through the slit of her dress already threatening her underwear.

She pulled away from his kiss. "Do we not do greetings anymore?"

His busy hands hardly even paused. "No."

The second her undergarments hit the floor, he lifted her free of the ground. She squealed in surprise.

"This is what you want, is it not?" he uttered, breath warm on her ear. "Tell me to stop."

He pressed her hard in to the wall and kissed her deeply, hand once again finding its way beneath her skirts.

"Too many clothes," she uttered between heavy breaths. He stopped to gaze at her quizzically. She pointed lazily at him. "You. Lose them."

His head cocked to one side as a half-smile formed. "Lose them?"

"That is what I said." She ran her hands across the breadth of his shoulders. "Be quick about it."

Unable to wipe the surprise from his face, he still did as she commanded. She watched eagerly but in her watching, an idea came to her. Once all that remained was the bottom half, she ended her watching.

"Stop," she ordered, fingers idly running the length of his chest. "I'll do the rest…but first…hands."

Palms up, she held out her own expectantly waiting for his. He still thought to raise an eyebrow in confusion but luckily for her, curiosity seemed to be winning the day. He placed each of his hands in hers and before he could react, she knotted them tight with a tie taken from his own clothing. Alarm read across his features as he thought to tug against his bonds.

"What a compromising position you find yourself in…" she mused with a slight giggle. She paced around him, hand sliding lazily across his bare back.

"Hardly. I may not be able to break myself free but fire would be just as effective."

"Oh of course. You are so very talented, my love, in so many ways," she purred, enjoying this far too much. "But you are not going to do that, are you?" She came to rest in front of him, hand grazing up and down his chest. "You're going to lie down on that bed and I'm going to reward you for being so very good."

Brow furrowed, he glanced back at the bed. He was likely not enjoying this nearly as much as Ellana but she hoped his want for her and curiosity would keep it going.

"Reward?" he asked, eyes narrowed. "With my hands tied?"

"Mmhmm," Ellana purred, a hand to his chest compelling him backwards towards the bed.

He landed on it with a thud and she promptly mounted him. She ran the tips of her fingers ever so slowly up his chest until they reached his arms and she forced them above his head.

"Reward can be rather slow for those who misbehave, my love. Another woman would never pull a good man's gaze."

He sat up suddenly, taking her with him. " _That's_ what this is about?! The girl?" Recognition dawned across his features. "You're _jealous_?"

Ellana's mouth hung open for a second. "Not… No, I am…! I'm the one in charge here!"

He tried to touch a hand to her cheek but bound as he was, the other hand came with it. "Vhenan, she means _nothing_ to me. She wishes to learn and I am obliging. She is a mere curiosity…"

"As I was," Ellana interjected, finally allowing her hurt to show. "Although you called it 'a mystery' but that is one in the same."

Hurt registered in his eyes too. "Yes, you were…at first but even then, even when I was only beginning to know you…nothing about you gave me pause. I loved every part I saw, virtues and flaws. Never in all the lifetimes I've lived have I known that... I am yours, vhenan, and I always will be."

Her look remained down but a gentle smile spread across her lips. "I suppose…" She finally granted him her gaze. "Who else would you allow to put you in this position?"

He brought his lips close to hers. "Only you. For my heart…I kneel only at your feet."

She closed the gap, kissing him with all she had to give.

"Will you untie me now?" he asked hopefully.

With a palm and a giggle, she shoved him back down on to the bed. "No, I don't think so."

He laughed too until she held his arms up and he realised she was serious. Every action, every touch of his skin she ensured was done with slow grace. He kept trying to kiss her but every time, she denied him. He kept trying to touch her in spite of his bonds but every time, she stopped and returned his hands to their position. The longer it went on, the more desperate he became.

"I cannot stand it any longer!" he shouted as the ties that bound him burst in to flame and fell as ash.

He grabbed her hips before she could move, taking the lead and bringing her down on to the bed beneath him. His finally freed hands buried themselves within her hair as he kissed her, pouring all of his frustration and desire in to every one of his movements.

* * *

Ellana cried out so loudly that she felt sure the whole tower must have heard. The fervour with which he had taken her had left her body a shuddering mess, so much so that her legs shook still. Red marks marred her wrists beneath the makeshift ties that bound her to the bedpost. She could not quite fathom how he had done it but she had been convinced to take the bonds and initial apprehension aside, it had certainly been worth it. His collapsed weight made it all the more difficult to breathe but resigned to her pleasured exhaustion, she made no attempts at movement.

"Vhenan," he purred in to her neck before lips and tongue claimed her skin.

She brought a hand to his cheek. "That… That was… _different_. Good different."

He chuckled, still muffled in the crevice of her shoulder. "I could tell." Rising first to his forearms on either side of her, he finally found his feet. "I believe I may in fact have suffered hearing loss." He gazed down on her with a decided smirk.

"Do not tease," she uttered as she glided one of her feet, the only part of her she could move, up his chest with surprising grace. "Untie me, my love."

His head tilted to one side. "No, I don't think I will."

He made for the bathroom still smirking. Ellana sat up as much as she was able.

"What? Solas? You can't just leave me here!" she yelled to no response. She rotated in the bed enough so she could see her bonds and tugged hard. "Solas!"

The tied portion around her hands was too tight; she would never be able to slip free from there but with only a little movement, the other end quite happily shifted against the bedpost. She was free and sneaking up behind him within mere moments.

"Would you care for a bath?" he said just before she reached him. He turned to her with yet another smirk. "I would speak with Aemilia before too much damage is done." Ellana made to talk but he stopped her. "My behaviour, and yours for that matter, was rude and beneath us. She remains of use to our cause and with the proviso that you have nothing to fear regarding her, I see no reason to end our lessons. If she still has interest…that is…"

Ellana brought her arm to rest on his shoulder, lips close to his. "As you will it, vhenan'ara. I fear nothing from her."

"Then rest, my heart," he said with a smile. "I will collect Maera from your mother and perhaps then you will have gathered the strength for a third bout…"

Her fingers slowly brushed his neck and she bit her lip. "For certain."

"Until then," he purred before kissing her lightly on the cheek. As he left her to her own devices, he turned back. "We may require a means to silence you…"

"Already have an idea," she interrupted, grinning widely.

* * *

Ellana stood holding on to the war table for dear life. Neither she nor Solas had slept. Some of their time had been spent in carnal exploits but much of it had been lost to simple conversation. Today she was feeling it, undeniably exhausted but she regretted nothing. It was remarkable what a night could do; so many of her worries gone through just talking. She had not of course broached the subject of abandoning his cause, that remained off-limits until she could be certain but most else had dissipated. He had talked at length about Aemilia; the fears he held about her and her desire to covet his power for her own. Ellana had not thought to get to know her so hearing it from him was immensely comforting. With all she knew now, she could confidently say that his interest in the Tevene was a flippant one. She too had abandoned her fears about him. Mirwen had been right; her logical solution was in fact illogical. Not only that, she had spent hours with Solas, his attention focused entirely on her and he at no point seemed anything but himself. His previous actions obviously still concerned her but no longer to the point that she sought resolution. He made mistakes, as any person did. It was only natural that he would struggle when times were harsh and it seemed that for now, their work wore on him greatly. It was her job to make that easier for him and encourage him from the wrong path, not declare demons where there were none.

Solas took her hand from the edge of the table, holding her steady against him by it. The discussion around them had not been a long one; focused largely on what their new Tevene guest intended to offer but Ellana was already flagging. If not for the myriad of eyes, she would quite happily let herself fall.

"Organising every slave is impossible and frankly unnecessary," Cyrrian asserted from across the table. "Remove enough and Tevinter will fall. Their economy cannot stand without them and then the remainder can simply walk free."

Aemilia tutted from Solas's side. "I am not saying we must free them all. That _is_ impossible but if you intend to take down Tevinter then you will need a majority. That is why I propose bringing in others. I can only reach so far but there are other organisers... The Imperium is a large place; practically every region has someone like me trying to fight the injustices they see. With their help, we could have our majority and they _would_ be organised." She turned to Solas. "If you need information, you could have it in a word; if you need soldiers, you could have it in a word; anything you need, you could have across all of the Imperium."

"More people bring more risk," Varden added from Solas's other side.

"I think it is too late for that now," Aemilia interjected with a laugh. "This room alone has more people than I would be comfortable meeting with in my line of work."

Silent until now, something must have irked Solas to prompt him in to speaking, "What then, do you propose?"

"I…well…" she started, quite clearly put off her stride. "I know of someone. He was gone from Tevinter for some time but returned fighting. I have only met him once but they say he holds great sway amongst the others. I cannot imagine why as he hardly seemed particularly personable but if we were to gain him as an ally, others would likely follow."

"You have access to this man? The means to set up a meeting?" Solas asked, voice rumbling against Ellana's back.

"Yes," she replied looking uncharacteristically flustered, taking orders likely an unwelcome change. "A…a meeting with you? Alone?" Aemilia's expression turned hopeful.

"No, I should think not. A meeting would likely benefit from your presence, vhenan, if you are willing?" He turned down to Ellana as Aemilia's expression instantly fell.

Ellana gazed up at him, head pressed against his chest with the effort. "Of course. If you would benefit then I am always at your disposal."

He raised his eyebrows and a corner of his mouth quirked up in a manner that suggested he was taking her statement far beyond its intended meaning. Aemilia cleared her throat rather deliberately and a frown overtook Solas's features as he granted her his attention.

"If I am to be your contact, should I not be present also?" she carefully asked.

"For what purpose? You have only met him briefly. 'Once' is the word you used. Better he meet with me, the one who intends to ask of him rather than be distracted by the presence of others."

Aemilia's eyes flashed to Ellana. "But then why…"

She stopped herself short of saying Ellana's name although it was likely clear to all what she intended. Aemilia closed her eyes as if struggling to hold in her dislike of the situation. Beneath the table, Ellana repeatedly passed her thumb over the back of Solas's hand that enveloped hers. It was a small gesture but one that she hoped would remind him to be calm and let the small things go.

Aemilia finally nodded. "As you wish."

"Then a plan is ours," Solas said, squeezing Ellana's hand lightly in response to her efforts. "I look forward to progress."

Solas pulled away from Ellana as everyone started to file out and with a word, stopped old man Getros before he could leave. Ellana had no idea what they were discussing but neither did she consider it her business. As everyone left, Aemilia was the only one who remained still. She was new to all of this and likely had not yet learned Solas's cues that told literally everyone else when talk was over. Ellana had expected she would copy the others or at least follow but she seemed to be waiting for something. As Ellana started to leave as well, the Tevene's closed eyes snapped open and she made for Ellana with sudden haste.

"May I speak with you?"

Ellana could do little to hide her bemusement. "Um…yes? I mean, of course. Could we perhaps do so walking? Emmaera was sleeping but I would check on her." Aemilia's eyes narrowed and her brow furrowed and Ellana slowly came to realise that she did not understand. "My daughter?" She pointed a finger between the distant Solas and herself. " _Our_ daughter?"

"Oh… I… Of course. Your daughter…"

Ellana's eyes widened in disbelief. "He didn't tell you?" She scoffed angrily and gestured for Aemilia to follow her out. "He did not think to mention _our daughter_. Of course not! Why would you? Not like it's your damn child!"

Aemilia seemed to be struggling with what to say as she followed dutifully behind. "I did not ask so…perhaps…"

"Oh no, don't take it personally. That's just him!" Ellana interrupted. Gazing about the new rooms, her follower appeared to be paying little attention to her ranting but Ellana raising her cooing daughter from the crib brought her attention back. "You'll gather soon enough that he is beyond reserved. If he does not deign it relevant then you're not going to know unless you ask!"

"Good to know," Aemilia added with a raised eyebrow. Her gaze fell on Emmaera and she reached out a hesitant hand. "She is beautiful… You must hear that all the time…"

Ellana laughed. "Well…yes but I cannot say I do not still enjoy it." She pried her eyes from her little one to the woman in front of her and sighed. "I…I feel I owe you an apology."

"That is what I wished to say to you," Aemilia interrupted, eyes bright and golden hair bouncing about her face.

"No, you owe me nothing but I…I have treated you poorly and I…" Ellana gulped back the half-truth she was about to settle for. "In honesty, I was jealous. When he showed interest in you I…well… I am not used to it and you're a mage so I…"

"You felt abandoned," Aemilia finished for her. She reached out a wavering hand to touch Ellana's shoulder but stopped short. "That was not my intent and I am sorry. If my time with him is too much then I…"

"No," Ellana interrupted firmly. "I no longer feel that way and I'm sure it is good for you both. Please…I would hope you would not stop on my account." Aemilia slowly nodded, a warm smile forming across her lips. "But can I give you some advice?" She nodded again. "Try and keep listening. I know he goes off on absurd tangents that can last gods know how long but that's just passion and he knows what he is talking about better than anyone I have ever met. Even when it's been hours and what he's saying has absolutely no relevance to what you asked – listen. You may not use it immediately but trust me - every word is worth the effort."

As Aemilia nodded once again, Emmaera squealed in delight and a flailing arm almost pointed. At the end of her gesture, Solas stood in the doorway wearing the widest grin.

* * *

Surrounded by Dhaveira's warmth, Ellana had not felt this contented in a long time. She felt strong and for once, as indomitable as Solas so often said she was. So confident was she that the idea of swaying him that had once seemed so out of reach had crept in to the periphery of her mind. Every so often, she told herself that she should just ask - tell him he was wrong; make him see and then make him choose. He loved her and his daughter; he saw value in her people and he surely could not deny that his world had been far from perfect. So bad was it in fact, he had inadvertently destroyed it trying to make it right. Ellana could not see how that was worth saving, certainly not at the expense of almost every living person in existence. Her mind kept telling her that he surely could not argue with that.

Emmaera stirred in her arms. Ellana had been singing to her, quiet now with thought but she started up once again. She chose some tavern song, a tale of a dragon soaring in the sky. Dhaveira rumbled gratefully around her. When she got to the part about the dragon finding another to fly alongside, Emmaera's eyes slowly opened.

"Di…di…din."

Dhaveira raised her great head, giant eyes scrutinizing the sounds the child made.

Emmaera flapped out an uncoordinated hand in the beast's direction. "Din din!" Dhaveira let out a gentle shriek in reply. "Dindin!"

"That's right, da'len! Dragon," Ellana cooed, sounding out the word slowly with a wide smile.

"Dindin dindin!" her daughter practically shrieked.

Ellana giggled lightly. "Close enough."

Watching the little one with just as much intensity as her elf, Dhaveira released a puff of blue fire for her amusement and she giggled wildly. Heart rising so far that it felt like she might choke, Ellana embraced her with fervour. The dragon behind her let out a questioning trill and the telltale sound of the distant Eluvian pervaded Ellana's emotion thick aura.

"Da da dada…"

Ellana smiled down on her daughter as she rose slowly to her feet. "Could be, my little love. We'll just have to see, won't we?"

Dhaveira had already rounded back to face their coming guest but Ellana still had to make the journey around her beast's massive body. The dragon hissed and sounded a warning shriek just as Ellana made it to her head. Smoke escaped from behind her enormous fangs as a low growl pulsed across the ground towards Solas.

Ellana placed a hand roughly on the dragon's neck. "Calm down. It's just Solas."

She sounded a defiant hiss before turning her attention fully to him and roaring. He did not slow in his gait but even still, a light slap from her elf brought the dragon's ire to an end.

"What has gotten in to you?!" Ellana exclaimed as she glared at the beast. Dhaveira hissed and snapped at the air as if arguing. "No, if you cannot behave nicely then you can just leave!" The beast shrieked defiantly. "I _said_ no! If you're going to be like this then go! Go on!" The dragon gazed at her with what looked like hurt in her huge eyes. "Go on!"

With one final hiss in Solas's direction, the colossal beast shuffled reluctantly off before taking flight.

Ellana turned to Solas with an apologetic look. "I don't know what has gotten in to her! That was just rude!"

Solas barely seemed to even register her words, dipped as he was to greet their child but he did finally think to reply, "She wishes to protect you, vhenan. Perhaps the fact I have not seen her in some time has faded her memory of me?"

"I guess," Ellana replied with doubt. She leaned in to his chest with a contented sigh. "But you're my love; she should remember you of all people…"

Solas caught her chin in his hand, raising her eyes to him. "I came to see you, not her…" His lips gently found hers.

She shivered lightly, enjoying the feeling, before pulling away from him. "For what purpose?"

"Must I have one?" he remarked, a frown formed by her sudden distance. He slowly paced towards her. "I wished to see you; hear your voice; feel your touch; bask in your comfort…"

His voice trailed off as his arms enveloped her waist and his lips grazed the nape of her neck.

"True enough," she breathed as she rose a palm to follow the path of his jaw and around to the back of his head above. "Do you have the time to sit with me?"

He did not reply but dutifully followed her to the area she kept in her own ordered disarray. It was like her makeshift office despite being simply an area of ground she sat upon and on which she left her materials. As Solas sat down beside her, his eyes fell on one particular pile of books nearby.

"I had wondered where these got to," he mused as he picked up the top volume. "Ah yes, 'The Demon Problem', a classic if one-sided tome. Reading up on my condition, were you, vhenan?"

His glittering blue eyes bored in to her and she looked guiltily at the floor. "I wanted to learn all I could and…and you were hardly going to tell me."

"You never asked," he interrupted, face fallen. "You never asked and so I presumed you did not want to discuss the matter. If I was wrong in my assumption then I apologise…perhaps I should have thought to discuss it with you." He took her hand, compelling her eyes to him. "Ask me now."

She gazed down thoughtfully at the pile of books. Sticking out of the third one down was a sheet of paper – the evidence Varden had given her of Solas's covert actions. At least it certainly was his writing, his words if not his actions. She glanced up at him.

"I had another question…"

His brow furrowed. "Do tell."

"Solas…" She paused, unsure of the proper wording. "Why have you been sending people to the Arbor Wilds?"

His eyes widened slightly before contorting in to a frown. " _This_ again?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Did Varden put you up to this? I will tell you what I told him – there is no 'why' because _I have not_. What could I possibly want in the Wilds? Nothing remains there!" He rolled his eyes and made an offhand gesture. "Where he is getting this from I do not know but…"

In one movement, she pulled the papers free from the book and held them out to him. "Here. It is all there – orders, reports… That is your handwriting, is it not? Your seal at the bottom; the reports addressed to you…"

He took the papers roughly from her and shuffled through, expression turning more and more alarmed with each one he examined. He stopped at the last, eyes still wide beneath a brow crinkled in disbelief.

"This is…not possible…" he breathed, eyes darting across the paper. "It was not… It was not me!" His eyes stalled in their movement, still as stones and his voice quieted to nearly a whisper. " _It was not me_ …" He rose to his feet abruptly. "Vhenan, I did not write this but someone did. Whoever it was… I will ensure it is dealt with." He lowered himself to meet her seated height. "Do not concern yourself with it any longer. I will speak with Varden and ensure resolution is found."

Using his shoulder for leverage, she rose with him. "I am glad, my love. Varden was concerned and truth be told, I was too. I had never imagined someone would dare use your name fraudulently!"

"Yes, it is…far from a wise decision," he mused before kissing her lightly on the cheek. "Forgive me my departure but I would cherish the opportunity to make up for it later."

She smiled at his back, bouncing their little one in her arms as he walked away. "I look forward to it!"

* * *

Ellana happily sauntered back in the direction of the ivory tower. Hours had passed and the moon now granted much of the light. She had spent the rest of the day in the company of her mother and her friends. While Solas's reaction to her evidence did concern her, it had been far from what she had expected. His surprise was genuine, she could tell and at least that meant he was free from blame even if it did suggest they had an impostor in their midst. The great door opened just as she reached it and she stopped to allow whomever it was to exit.

"Good evening, stranger!" she said as her eyes fell on old man Getros. "Fancy seeing you here."

It had been a long time since they had spoken in anything other than a professional capacity. With the last elvhen book they could find translated by her hand, she no longer needed his tutelage and lacked the time to maintain social visits. She had missed their discussions and it had been so long since he had seen Emmaera. She was about to say as much when the sight of his dire features interrupted her intent.

"Are you…are you quite alright?" she asked with genuine concern.

He turned ever so slightly away from her and her daughter. "Certainly, my Lady. I…it has been a trying day." Ellana only got out a few syllables before he raised a dismissive hand. "Nothing you can help with, pay no mind but if you would excuse me…"

With that, he left her to her own confused silence. Getros seldom appeared anything but his usual, somewhat jolly self and to see him so rattled was a new experience. She passed through the door ardently questioning his distress but even by the time she had ascended to her home, she still had no answer. Solas sat at his desk. Holding his head in his hands, elbows against the desk held much of his weight.

"Ma lath?"

He started at the sound of her voice and rose quickly to his feet.

"Vhenan." He said the word slowly, savouring it until he reached her and wrapped her in his arms. "You are a welcome sight."

She allowed herself some distance to look upon him. "Tiresome day?"

He took more distance, a hand gently touching his daughter's back before taking her from her mother. "I leave your arms with strength abound. It lessens until I am left wanting; mind torn asunder in your absence."

"A beautiful sentiment – poetic even…"

He turned to perch on the desk, finally facing her once again. "It is truth, more so than I think you realise."

She came to perch alongside him, resting her head on his shoulder and watching as he gently stroked their sleeping daughter's hair.

"Your discussion with Aemilia has certainly done wonders," Solas went on in her silence. "She was practically singing your praises. It would have been endearing if it had not distracted her so. You are on something of a roll, vhenan. Will it be Cyrrian you tackle next?"

Ellana scoffed. "You do it first and then maybe I'll consider..."

"We shall see," he replied, chuckling lightly. He downturned his face to hers. "I will put Maera down. Join me?"

She smiled at him as he rose. "In a minute."

Once he was gone, she reclined back on the desk with a long sigh.

* * *

 _"I must stay conscious."_

 _Ellana's mantra started long before she saw the familiar red eyes in the distant dreaming night. Her mind no longer stalled until the memories returned; all of it sat close to the surface._

 _"I must stay conscious."_

 _Alone in the Fade, she had never felt this strong and it showed. Every repeat of her words caused the world around her to stutter and the screams that had once plagued her, did no longer._

 _"I must stay conscious."_

 _Her mind faltered as the wolf broke in to a run but she did not. Even when all she could see was red orbs and black, her resolve did not break._

 _"STOP!"_

 _Her shout touched the silence with force and it was not her that faltered but the wolf. Ellana's resolute eyes locking with the many, she swore she saw recognition dawn. The beast shook its great head. She wanted to reach to it, hoping, but it burst in to smoke. From the centre of the billowing tendrils, a woman emerged. She knew her. The features were foreign but she knew her all the same. Her image struck light through the darkness that sought to hold her – golden armour flashing brilliant. It was just like Solas's, excluding the dragon shaped prominence that emerged proudly from her chest. Concealing much of her jet-black hair, all too familiar horns of a dragon sat bound atop her head._

 _"Mythal," Ellana breathed._

 _"Run, you fool!" the dragon elf roared, fighting as smoke dragged her back. "RUN!"_

 _Ellana did not need to be told twice. Her feet pounded hard against the grass but not fast enough. Behind her, clawed feet tore up the earth faster than she ever could._

 _"Wake up. Wake up. Wake up," her mind repeated over and over but the beast caught her leg._

 _She could feel warmth trickling down; feel the pain that was until the monster suddenly released her. Jaws wet with the taste of her blood, it stared at her for what seemed like an age._

 _"Wake."_

* * *

"The wolf, the smoke, Mythal – it was telling me something I just know it! Like the images you see! They must represent _something_!"

Ellana gawped expectantly at Mirwen but the Keeper made her wait.

"You believe that was…an image?" she replied at long last. "A representation of a possible future?"

Ellana nodded her head insistently, hair flapping about her like a mad woman. "Uh-huh… What else could it be? Dreams are nearly always memories and that was certainly not any memory I've had! You told me about your images…and Solas did too. Isn't that what they are? Vague forms that represent some higher truth? That's exactly what I saw!"

Yet again, Mirwen retained her silence for uncomfortably long in spite of Ellana's stare.

"The smoke you saw… Could it not be shadow? Shadow can create form, twisting itself in to a being. Perhaps against a wall, perhaps in the shape of a human that whispers the screams of many…"

Ellana's eyes widened before narrowing once more. "The demon that Dhaveira guarded? What does that have to do with anything? You think that it was part of the future I was seeing?"

She sighed before finally speaking, "If that is what you believe you saw then who am I…"

"Oh don't even," Ellana interrupted angrily. "You may have your reasons but I grow tired of this mystery nonsense! You have the answer so let's just be honest for once and say it. At least grant me the respect to tell me that you know but will not say."

The Keeper said nothing. Gaze fixed to the sky, it appeared she was listening intently for something but certainly not Ellana. Incensed by the very idea, Ellana made to launch into a tirade but Mirwen raised a finger before she could get a word out.

"Wait," she said.

Ellana listened too, brow furrowed. Amongst the bustle of the camps, she thought she could hear angry voices. They were growing louder, getting nearer.

"I no longer need to," Mirwen said the second Lis and Lori, arguing as they walked, came in to view.

Lori was too quiet to hear but Lis had never been all that good at containing her volume. "If anyone will know, then it's El! Just suck it up and ask!" She paused as Lori's mouth moved. "Not too busy for her friends. Come on – you're asking her and that's that! She'll know what to do and then you can damn well sleep!"

Before they reached her, Ellana did notice that Lori's appearance was concerning. She looked exhausted, continually rubbing her eyes and brushing her hands through her dishevelled hair. Even with just this short walk to observe, Ellana thought she seemed uncharacteristically fearful; jumping at every little sound outside of her conversation with Lis.

Ellana gazed up at her in concern as both of them took a seat in front. "What is wrong? Lori, are you well?"

At first, Lori did not seem to register the question but beneath Ellana's intent stare, she finally looked up.

"Are you alright?" Ellana repeated, this time with more concern. Lori kept her silence, looking around them fervidly. "You look like you have not slept…"

Seemingly satisfied, Lori fixed her eyes back to Ellana's briefly before gazing back down at her knees. "No, I…I couldn't sleep… I've been having bad dreams…"

Ellana's brow crinkled with remorse; she should have known her friend would still be having a hard time dealing with her incarceration amongst the Imperials. "I know…" She started weakly, shifting closer to offer a reassuring hand. "It must be difficult dealing with Tevinter after what they did to Garith…"

To Ellana's complete surprise, Lori laughed. "It's not that!" she scoffed but slowly her amusement faded. "I…uh…it was just a bad dream…"

"What was it?" Ellana prompted carefully.

Lori looked away, closing her eyes. A slight tremor passed across her lips.

"It's alright, you can tell me…" Ellana went on but Lori had already turned back to her with a strange determined stare.

"I was in the forest…the place where Garith died. I think I have that dream a lot and well…this pack of wolves came out from the trees," the Dalish girl started, noticeably hugging her legs tighter. "They attacked me and I fought a couple off but I had to run. They kept coming out of nowhere but somehow I made it to some cliffs." Ellana's eyes slowly widened as her explanation went on. "I climbed up and they couldn't get me, they kept trying but they couldn't. Then this huge one came out of the trees and all the others ran off." Lori had started shaking ever so slightly.

Already suspecting she knew exactly who tormented her friend, Ellana's lips formed in to a hard line. If Solas had seen fit to visit two of her friends, adding a third hardly seemed a stretch but he would never help Lori. Just like Shivra, he held the same ridiculous belief that her friend was somehow out to get her. In her dreams, Ellana knew he would find it hard to resist throwing his weight around if at all tempted.

"I tried to keep climbing but the rocks…they just tumbled away and it's…it sounds ridiculous but it's like this wolf was laughing at me…"

"Was the wolf white?" Ellana interrupted anger evident in her tone.

Lori slowly shook her head. "It was black and its…fur was…strange…like shadow and it had lots of eyes, all laughing at me…"

Recounting this, she looked terrified but Ellana could offer no comfort. Mouth hanging open and eyes vacant, she could barely even hear.

"The rocks fell beneath me and I fell too. It didn't even chase me at first. I tried to run but it's…like it was right behind me the whole time, no matter how fast I went. I tripped and its jaws were about to crush me but I woke up… Couldn't sleep after that… Do you think…do you think it was something I did?"

Ellana said nothing as her expression crumpled.

"It's real…" With sudden movement, she faced Mirwen head on. "Not an image; not a memory! What I saw was no representation of the future; it was…it was…" Her face fell in to despair and tears threatened. "… _reality_." The Keeper just stared at her, pain shining out from behind the waters of her eyes. "Answer me!"

"I offer no answer…my child…" Her voice broke with emotion. "You already know where it is." Ellana's brow furrowed deeply. "You have been preparing for it; 'out of spite or out of necessity,' you argued both as you tried to outsmart him. Read it and know. That is all you have to do."

"The book," Ellana breathed.

Mirwen touched a hand to her cheek. " _His_ book – hidden or gone but you are best placed to determine that. Find it, read it and know."

Ellana ran past her friends without another word in the direction of the tower. Solas was not there so now was her chance. He no longer needed the book, that much was clear from its absence but Ellana knew him; she knew he would find disposing of any knowledge too unnatural to bear. He had hidden it, she knew he would have and she would find it even if it meant tearing their home apart.

* * *

"You know her better than anyone."

Dorian rolled his eyes as he coolly took a seat opposite Cullen's desk. "Oh do _spare_ me, Commander. You did not summon me to discuss my thoughts on our dear departed Inquisitor. I imagine you have plenty of your own to contend with."

Cullen fixed him with a glare that could cut through just about any person.

But not Dorian. "Either I leave now or you tell me why I am really here."

The Commander said nothing and true to his word, Dorian rose up out of his chair.

"Leliana is a spy…a _damn_ good one. You do realise that?" Cullen remarked just before his charge reached the door.

Dorian turned back to him with an incredulous look. "Of course I do… Do you think me oblivious?"

"No but apparently you are not above being a fool," Cullen said, stare uncharacteristically intense.

" _Excuse_ me?" Dorian could hardly believe his ears. "Are you sassing me, Commander, or is this more…"

"She found one of your letters."

Dorian's eyes widened. He had known how foolish it was to continue his correspondence with Ellana while within the walls of Skyhold. A part of him knew he was bound to be found out but his desire to maintain the bond overtook his logic. She was his friend and while it was true that she had lost her way, he was not about to abandon her. If ever a time he thought she needed his influence, now was it.

Cullen sighed. "Nightingales search your room as we speak."

"Ah… So you were charged with distracting me?" Dorian added, retaking his chair.

Cullen nodded. "But I think it would be best if you were not here when Cassandra comes for you."

A slight laugh escaped the Imperial. "A true sentiment if ever I heard one." He got to his feet. "Pleasure doing business with you, as always. Take care, Commander." He stopped just before he reached the door. "You should read them." He turned back to Cullen. "The letters, I… You were not wrong about her, none of us were. She is not the monster they think she is." He left without another word.

Within the shadows of Skyhold's great courtyard a gruff voice halted Dorian in his path.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Absurdly hidden in the shadows given his size, the Iron Bull emerged with a rather smug look on his face.

"We have guests. Red's birdies rifling through just about everything. Must have pissed them off."

Dorian sighed. "I fear we have outstayed our welcome."

"Found Doe's letters, didn't they?" Bull probed with a sly smile. "I did warn you it was a shitting bad idea." He held out an envelope. "Managed to save you a new one. Doesn't look like it's from her."

Dorian gazed at it before opening. He recognised the handwriting as that of his ally - Magister Tilani. He tore it open and skimmed through the words.

"I know a few ways out of here they won't be guarding. We should get out before Cass comes down on you like a tonne of bricks, kadan…"

With a hand to his chest, Dorian abruptly halted his words.

"No, I need to get back as soon as possible." Already on the move, panic overtook his tone. "Shit! We need a raven too. If this is right then she'll never see it coming!"

Bull took him roughly by the shoulders. "Calm down. Breathe and try to say it slowly. Who is the letter from?"

"Maevis," Dorian answered, not enjoying Bull's tone in the slightest. "Updating me on the everyday happenings but…"

"The Vints are finally coming for Solas," Bull finished for him.

Dorian nodded. "They're going after Ellana."

* * *

 **A/N - Soooooooooo... Next one is with my beta but may need to be re-written if a particular thing doesn't work. If that comes to pass, it may be a while but might not...I realise how unhelpful that is as a statement but...yeah...**

 ***UPDATE* So it's been months again...sorry... As you probably gathered, it does need re-written but I am alive and finally able to get back on it. Unfortunately it's been long enough that lots of self-doubt is messing with me so it might take a wee while longer than a simple 'add stuff so it makes sense' then 'send to beta for another check' deal. Will have to include 'send rambly email that spans a number of pages to B seeing if my explanations make sense' diversion but I _am_ on it. Sorry again.**


	37. The Shadow on the Wall

**A/N - So so so so so sorry for the delay. This damn chapter has gone through 3 incarnations - 3! But I sort of got there in the end. Anyway, hope it was worth the wait!**

* * *

When Solas had first thought to teach Aemilia, he imagined it would not last long. He had only so many moments in time and in those few, he wished only to find some relief. He certainly enjoyed teaching but if this world had shown him anything, it was that few were willing to learn. Aemilia was an exception. While it was true that she lived up to his rather poor expectations in the first instance, she seemed to have taken Ellana's touching advice to heart and that was a welcome change. It was gratifying to see her doing so well but still his mind wandered. It seemed that nowadays, relief of any kind was beyond him.

"Try again," Solas called out to her.

In truth, he had not watched her latest attempt but a repeat would not be wasted. They had been at it for quite some time and his thoughts were loud, too loud. She would be disappointed but he would have to bring their lesson to an end soon.

"Did you see that?" she asked, suddenly right in front of him.

Eyes glazed for what had felt like only a moment, he had not even noticed her return let alone seen her next effort. He gazed up at her unable to conceal the furrow across his brow or the vacancy that remained deep within his eyes.

"Yes…uh…excellent work."

She raised an eyebrow. "It was, was it?" Kneeling down on the grass at his side, she laughed. "Funny, considering I didn't even do anything."

His eyes narrowed as he registered her words. "I deserved deceit?"

"You're troubled again." Brow lowering and tone thick with accusation, she stared at him clearly expecting more of an answer than he would ever be willing to give.

He sighed as he rose to his feet from the forest floor. "Always…it comes with the territory. Best to ignore it."

She looked like she wanted to say more but seemed to suppress the urge. Disappointment clouded the bronze of her irises. "You're leaving?"

"I need…" He faltered, doubting she would appreciate the idea that what he needed most was Ellana. "There is something I must do. Besides, you do not need me here whilst you read." He gestured to the book laid on the ground where he had sat.

"I can keep it?" she asked with a hint of excitement.

"For now; although I would like it back once you are finished." He started off before she could say anything more to keep him. "Enjoy it in the meantime."

"I will!" she called after him.

As he stalked back in the direction of the tower, he found himself pondering what it would actually be like if Aemilia was in Ellana's place. She would be a bad influence, he knew that much. Ellana was similar to him in many ways but a perfect counterpoint where it mattered. He had no idea he even needed the challenge before he met her but now, he could no longer imagine living without it. He shared so much in common with Aemilia but so many of her negative points were attributes he too struggled with or could so naturally adopt. Even worse than that, her interest in him seemed to rest predominantly on his talents and position. Back when he was just a simple mage, she would not have looked at him twice. Ellana had and while he knew she did enjoy his power, it was not what had led her to him. If threat somehow became absent from this world then he was sure she would quite happily watch the might of the Dread Wolf ebb away and still love him. In much the same way as he did, she found value in the parts of him that were the antithesis to what she saw as her flaws – his calm to her worry; her blind compassion to his hardened heart; his answers to her questions. He laughed to himself as he entered the tower, thinking on the fact that he had somehow deviated his original topic to one entirely focused on Ellana. It happened so often but he still found it amusing. He took a moment to enjoy how quiet his mind had become and marvel that it seemed she did not even need to be in his presence to have her influence.

But the thought cleared and with it, his brow wrinkled in question. Little was going on in the tower but there were people gazing strangely up to the rafters. One elf met his questioning stare, unafraid but that was becoming something of a regular occurrence since Ellana had been declared as his one.

"There's been loud banging," the elf explained, turning back up to what Solas presumed was the direction of the sound. "Stopped a while ago but…"

Solas did not wait for him to finish. He did not wish to waste time chastising when he could be finding out for himself. It would be bordering on miraculous for an enemy to gain access to his inner sanctum but it still frustrated him that no one had thought to investigate. As he ascended to his home, however, he did consider that they were not to know he was not there. Further, he imagined that loud noises from the top floor were probably something of a normal occurrence, most of all when Emmaera was out of their hands. He reddened slightly at the thought and felt regret at his harsh judgement.

By the time he reached the door, he certainly could not hear any sounds beyond. No light emanated from the base, which was odd but not unwarranted given that it was evening time. He opened the door and came to a sudden stop, mouth gaping open. His office was in complete ruin. Items, so many he could not even begin to identify them, were strewn about the floor. The bookcases and cabinets had all been emptied and some had been shifted from their positions. One actually lay on its side, wood splintered from the fall. His desk had been moved too and all the items that usually littered its surface, discarded in favour of the floor. All that remained were two open books and a pile of papers. He recognised one of the books all too well.

"Ellana?" he called out to silence.

His compulsion was to go and find her but the desire to know for certain drew him to the desk. He already understood what it meant, the mere sight of his journal out in the open enough to breed trepidation but he had to know how it had happened. He ignored his familiar writing in favour of the unknown, unsurprised to see it was Ellana's. From what little he could take in, her book appeared to be a master class in reading the elvhen language. He did not know how she had done it but in that moment, he cursed her intelligence. She had been on to him this entire time and he had not suspected a thing. In fact, he had inadvertently helped her along with his foolish good intentions. Damning himself a thousand times over, he turned finally to the sheets of paper. Frantically scrawled across every available space were his own notes, beautifully translated by her hand. His mouth hung open. She knew everything, all of it, without even having to ask. She had outdone him. Rage boiled over and then fear gripped him until all-consuming regret took what little remained.

* * *

 ** _Page 26 -_**

 ** _"My previous assertion that the lake lacked any value may have been premature. Try as I might, I could not find it on my own. Not until I thought to find Mirwen instead, did the lake appear before me. Were it not an inexplicable notion I would think of her as the key to its location but that begs the question of why. She appears to question it little; perhaps she knows the answer. I imagine it rests in the images themselves and their purpose. Nothing exists within the Fade until it is brought into being – either by the real or the unreal. Some creature, spirit or demon, creates the images; for what purpose, I cannot fathom. All that matters is if they hold truth and I am beginning to understand that, at least in some capacity, they do."_**

Ellana had not travelled like this in a long time. She had run the first mile or so but could manage little more. She needed to keep moving but her breath was heavy, her heart pounded and her feet hurt. A long way from the Eluvian she had exited, she came to a stop. Everything in her wanted to break down and cry. Hope was what had kept her moving but as soon as she stopped, the words she had read found their way back to repeat across her mind. They were his words, meant for him alone – some that amounted to little more than musings and others that could mean everything. The moment she had read them, truly understood them, she could not believe that the feeling could get any worse but she had been wrong. With time, her own mind only added to the pain his words brought. She leaned against a nearby tree, careful to ensure the bundle across her chest remained secure, and crushed her pain beneath the manufactured hope of her task. The foolish part of her believed no one had seen her enter the Crossroads but the thought offered little comfort. Soon enough her absence would be noted and more than likely, she would be followed. She hoped she had enough time to reach her goal but she still had a long way to go. She untied the bundle from around her neck only to retie it more tightly before she moved off again in to the wilderness.

* * *

 ** _Page 17 -_**

 ** _"A productive abomination appears to be a lost concept in this world. Thorough research continues to yield little – much of the findings focused purely on the complete loss of control. It seems few are capable of much more. The vast majority of writings focus purely on the idea of 'prevention' and little beyond. Much is inaccurate, unsurprising given that it is based on little tangible evidence. Case studies typically take the form of retrospection on a defeated individual – useless in no uncertain terms. No writing I have found details a more relevant first-person perspective. They exist – the allegedly true story of our once ally's associate, Anders, is evidence of that. Thus far he is the only true case study I have and far from a positive one. Even if I am to presume that he was made fallible by Circle tutelage, it remains a cautionary tale of how vastly different this once simple relationship has become."_**

Solas stepped through the Eluvian already overwhelmed by desperation. He had to find her, explain, make this right again.

"Ellana!"

His shout echoed off the cliffs in to nothing. She was gone from their quarters; gone from the tower; gone from the camps; gone from him. Emmaera's crib lay empty and held not by her grandmother either, she appeared gone from him as well. Without them, there was nothing to hold him back. He strode out beyond the faces of stone to meet yet more emptiness. A snarl permeated the silence.

"Where is she?!" he shouted up at the dragon perched upon the rocks.

The beast's roar shook the earth; wings unfurled, ready to deny him but he advanced onward with all his irrepressible fury.

"Show me where she is!"

He hurled a sphere of whatever magic came to him, only for it to be rendered useless by a stream of her overpowering fire. His hands were shaking; he could feel it and he did not need to gaze upon them to know that they were blackening as he lost control. It took every shred of his effort to keep from killing the beast outright. Not that she seemed to appreciate it.

"Only you can see her! Show me!"

The dragon did not take heed, finding her escape on powerful wings. The rocks shook beneath yet another roar.

"Do not run away from me!" he yelled.

He readied another spell, aiming to bring her crashing to him if need be but she acted first. Flames whipped past him; cut through by the barrier made at the end of an outstretched hand. In the centre of it all he remained unharmed, barely pausing from the insignificant effort but she had already fled in to the untouchable sky. He damned himself, a nearby rock shattering as the intrusive voice in the back of his mind reiterated that he could have torn the crystal from her hide if he had been willing.

He stalked out of the Eluvian and back through the camps. The air sparked around him, fracturing periodically to reveal the tendrils of shadow that followed in his wake. Many bore witness but none did he hazard a care. He stormed through the tower door never once pausing in his gait. Faces met him - a gathering of those who may have information. Varden made to say something but did not get beyond a stuttered sound.

"Where is she?!" Solas roared, just managing to stop short of putting hands on Lis.

The shocked faces of many he knew watched in horror but he only had notice enough for one.

" _Where_ is she," he repeated, quieter this time but with significantly more threat.

"I…I don't know!" Lis stammered as her wide eyes flickered across his features. "She…she… We haven't seen her!"

It may just have been her fear making her appear disingenuous but Solas was not convinced. He raised a hand to her, moving closer.

"She has left to seek answers."

The voice broke him from fixation. He studied the faces seeking the source, growing dangerously impatient with each one passed over.

"She will return."

His gaze finally fell on Mirwen. He advanced on her, not offering her the courtesy of restraint.

" _Where_ is she," he growled, black-veined hand to her throat.

The Keeper simply smiled. "You ask a question and yet you restrict my speech. Foolish, Solas," she said, speaking his true name as clearly as she could.

It was enough to give him pause, snap him from the coils of raw emotion and he released her. As the cloud across his mind lessened, a rationality he had forgotten he was capable of returned.

"She left through the Crossroads," the Keeper finally said. "You will not find her but…" She paused, rubbing a hand across her neck. "They will return."

Without another word, he cut through the crowd of onlookers to the path she must have taken.

As soon as he opened the door, he saw the paper laid in front of the mirror. He struggled to read, emotions still dampening any kind of real thought but with a moment's hard focus, he brought it back from the abyss.

"I have not abandoned you. Do not come after me. I still love you."

* * *

 ** _Page 42 -_**

 ** _"I attended the lake alone once again. Mirwen would likely disapprove but the act is considerably easier without her presence. After the accuracy of a third image – the prediction of Liahra's passing, I had not expected another so soon but I cannot deny the Eye and all it likely means. Perhaps through force of habit or genuine understanding, the images become easier to interpret. If they are right once again then Dhaveira will blind the Watchful Eye and fuel our victory."_**

The sight of the road was something of a relief for Ellana. She had knowledge of the main routes throughout Thedas but lacked the memory to know the majority in any detail. Blessedly, she had already determined which Eluvian brought her closest to her goal; the desire to reach it a consideration she had held for some time. She crouched down, obscured by a nearby bush at the edge of the roadway. With a quick rummage, she pulled free from her breast a collection of papers and shuffled until she reached the last. Even in the haste with which she had left, she managed to draw a quick map of her route; particular attention paid to the main road. She studied it, choosing her best option. Walking the road guaranteed she would not lose her way and likely would be the faster. The forest would keep her hidden. A disgruntled cry sounded from the bundle around her chest.

"Hush…hush now," Ellana murmured, hand reaching inside as if by routine. "Don't cry my little one."

Glistening with the beginnings of tears, Emmaera's pale eyes closed and she cooed beneath her mother's touch.

Ellana gazed down at the map one final time and nodded, decision made. She folded it up along with the others and returned it to her clothing.

"Dada?"

Ellana came to an abrupt halt. She closed her eyes, breath catching in her throat. "No, da'len… No." She rose to her feet and with a check in either direction, broke free of her cover. "We have someone else to see first." She smiled down on her daughter as she pulled her hood over her head. "Then we take care of Daddy."

 ** _Page 51 -_**

 ** _"Seldom do I enjoy battle and this was much in the same. Watching our victory unfold as the image predicted was boundlessly gratifying but I am left with the knowledge that I remain sorely lacking. Mythal's gift bestowed much but not nearly enough. If the Inquisition held the strength to show me that then I fear I am in need of significantly more power to delve beyond the avenues in which we currently exist. Certainly to protect my family."_**

 ** _…_**

 ** _Page 3 -_**

 ** _"To understand successful abominations one must first consider intent. It was commonplace, so much so that even the relatively weak thought nothing of a momentary binding. Whether through a shared purpose or a simple bond over a particular virtue, it was mutually beneficial. The problem came when the intent changed. Power was a side effect but too easily, it became the intent and that was what led to corruption. The risk always existed; individuals who fell were a natural fact but one that was dealt with. The Evanuris were the first real change in the natural order. As their power grew, each of their individual purposes became warped in to something far beyond the original intent. Each one sought to outdo the rest; covet power for each warped purpose until they killed one of their own. In the end, it was power that felled Elvhenan; or at least, stripping them of it."_**

The road certainly made for easier travel but Ellana was on edge. Her eyes darted and her head turned back with regularity. She did not know what she was expecting - her enemies hardly likely to emerge from the shadows the second she broke cover. It was far more probable anyone she saw would at worst be a simple watchman, someone that did not even warrant thought but that never entered her mind. She had grown so unused to any sort of normal life that she no longer knew how she should act.

Further onward, a sound behind brought her careening back in to the bushes. A horse-drawn cart accompanied by a set of trailing feet passed by her before the sound of faster feet followed. They came to a stop a few paces from her hiding place.

"We stopped only a short while ago! You said you were fine!" declared a woman's voice, the source of the second pair of feet.

"Mama, I _need_ to!"

Ellana shifted her weight, ducking some obstructive branches to see a human woman carefully lowering her child to the ground. For the first time she thought to reflect that her panic may have been premature.

The woman gazed up the road, rather disgruntled. "Jacob!" Sounds ahead and then the cart came to a gradual halt. "Aiden needs to stop!"

The sound of the first feet returning.

"Mama, look at the pretty flowers!" the little boy cried out in excitement, making Ellana jump at the sudden volume.

"I see them," the woman replied as the first feet finally arrived. "I _told_ you we should have made him go when we stopped," the woman muttered to the man. "But do you ever listen?"

In spite of herself, Ellana smiled as she shifted her weight to better see the little boy. In his mother's distraction, he had wandered over to gaze in wonder at the flowers. The sight made her think of her daughter in a few years.

"Mama, look!" the boy called out.

Deep in conversation, the woman appeared oblivious. Emmaera wriggled against Ellana's chest.

The boy ambled ever closer to her hiding place. "Mama! Come on!"

"Ma…ma…"

Ellana's eyes snapped down to the baby at her chest.

"Ma…ma…"

The boy's eyes had widened, gawping in her direction; drawing closer.

"Mama! There's something…"

Ellana did her absolute best to shush Emmaera but the damage was already done.

"Mama! There's a person in that bush!"

 ** _Page 31 -_**

 ** _"There once was a time when I fully accepted Ellana's inevitable death. I had left her to her life and I hoped that she would live it well until that day came. I never wanted to hurt her but her loss seemed a suitable sacrifice. She would be gone, none the wiser and only I would suffer from it; penance for my mistakes. Our time together would only worsen my suffering but not change the fact. A suitable sacrifice to give her what she wanted or at least, I thought. I still tried to find a way, selfishly, to end my suffering but I fell declaring an impossible task. That changed the moment our child came in to being. I cannot sacrifice her, nor will I. The suffering I deserve no longer factors in to it. I intend to keep my word, cost be damned."_**

Ellana's impulse was to run but that would only beg more questions. The last thing she needed was for this family to report a mysterious running stranger to a guard further down the road. She rose as the woman approached, careful to keep Emmaera hidden from sight until she could be sure.

"Aiden! Come here!" the woman yelled, panicked as she grabbed at her son.

Ellana did all she could to appear small. "Apologies, I… I did not know who you were and I feared bandits." Emmaera chose this moment to squeal loudly and both woman and child started. "I…I hoped you might pass by and we would go unnoticed."

What she presumed to be the woman's husband had come to her side, clutching at her in protective fear. Ellana very deliberately brought a hand to calm Emmaera, revealing glimpses of her within the cloth.

"I am sorry if I startled you."

The woman's eyes softened as she stared at the bundle across Ellana's waist but the boy's remained eagerly curious.

"Look, Mama! Look at her ears! So pointy!"

" _Aiden_!" the woman hissed with a tug to her child. "Don't be so rude!" Her husband held on to her insistently but she ignored him, taking a few steps closer to Ellana. "I can't imagine travelling alone with such a little one…you must have been so afraid."

Ellana resisted the urge to laugh at that statement. "It has been a long journey," she said with a nod. "And I fear we have further yet to go."

The woman's look brightened. "Where are you headed? Perhaps we could take you a distance?"

"Oh," Ellana uttered, taken aback for a brief moment. "I…well…Kirkwall but I don't know if…"

The woman hazarded another couple of steps in her direction. "I am Sarah; this is my husband, Jacob and our son, Aiden. We are a simple family travelling with goods for the nearby farms. The roads can be dangerous and I…"

The man came forward to clutch at her again. "Sarah, no… We don't know her, she could be anyone."

"So we leave her here? With a baby?" the woman interrupted, turning back to him with defiance. "Do you want that thought on your conscience? What if it were me?" She turned back to Ellana. "Please, it would ease my mind. I will worry what happened to you."

Her gaze was so warm, so genuine that Ellana could not help but consider it. She stared down at her daughter, deep in thought for a long moment.

"Alright," she finally said. "But I have no wish to trouble you and it would only be for some of the distance."

The woman did little to hide her jubilation but Ellana was cautiously watching her son. He still stared at her with that childlike curiosity. Before she could say another word, she was bustled off in the direction of the cart all the while followed by the happy nattering of her new protector. She insisted Ellana ride in the cart to catch her breath and for a spell, they left her to her own devices. As they took their child off in to the woods to attend to his need, Ellana could still hear them arguing. She leaned back against the nearest crate with a sigh. She did not know if this choice would afford her any speed but she could not deny that she did actually feel safer. Her hand slowly stroked Emmaera's hair as she waited an uncomfortably long amount of time. In all her fear and turmoil, she had not realised quite how tired she was and in spite of all her reservations, her eyes slowly closed. She snapped them open the second she realised what she was doing. She may be exhausted but she knew exactly where sleep would get her. She fought tooth and nail against the urge until her companions returned; even for a time after the cart had moved off but she was bound to fail. Her last thought before she did was of Solas.

* * *

 ** _Page 44 –_**

 ** _"The lake showed me much last night. It pains me to relive it and were it not for the need to record, I would cast it from my mind. I watched my daughter die within the depths. The fire and the madness of the new world took her and all I could do was watch. I thought I could protect them, I tried but nothing I did could save them. They died screaming for me and there was nothing I could do."_**

"I must stay conscious."

Solas repeated his mantra over and over but every moment he spent hurtling through the Fade negated his words. Disappointment tailed him wherever he went and his screaming mind had never been louder. He had known it was a long shot; unlikely as it was that she would be wasting her freedom in sleep. It was not until his search came to a grinding halt that he felt her echo across the Fade. For him, it was like a siren song – drawing him as it had done even in the moments he tried desperately to resist. She alone held the ability to render him powerless.

 ** _Page 46 –_**

 ** _"They cried out still from beyond the Veil. It was painful to hear it, a constant reminder of my mistake but I am loathe to admit that it did seem to lessen. My family gave me that and the simple life that we led in the image. To see what it could be if I abandoned my duty, everything I had imagined in my darkest moments and more, was indescribable but it did not matter. Even when I did finally let go of all my regret, the result staring back at me was still their blood."_**

Solas found her with a mind in visible disarray. One moment a cycle of memories played – she danced with him in Orlesian attire; she kissed him for the first time; she took his hand as he held her on a cold morning; she ducked away with glistening eyes as he sang to his newborn daughter. The next moment there was nothing but the barren Fade in which she stood. It was remarkable. She held no magic and yet, the Fade bowed in part to her will. She wanted something and unable to bring it forth as he could, the Fade halted momentarily – rendered stalled by her will. He considered leaving her. It had not entered his mind until this moment, the desire to rage and just find them too strong to ignore. It was not until the cycle repeated once more and he saw the image of his daughter that the consideration left him. It was Ellana's choice what she did with herself but the second she chose to take their daughter too, she forfeited his understanding.

"Ellana," he said, crushing the memories with his power. She turned back to him, blank. "Where are you?" Her eyes flickered open and shut. " _Where_ are you?" He reached out a hand to touch her shoulder.

Recognition dawned and she recoiled away before he felt her warmth. "Don't touch me!"

Her voice reverberated across the Fade. His expression crumpled only to return.

"Where are you? Tell me now!" His voice shook with either anger or injury, he knew not which. "You took Maera beyond, with only you to protect her. How could you be so thoughtless! What if you had been attacked or worse, found by our enemies?!"

"And what was I supposed to do?" Ellana sneered, maintaining her distance. "I could not leave her alone with _you_."

The blue of his gaze flashed with hurt. "I would never…"

"Hurt us?" she finished for him. "Only you did. Need I remind you of what you did to me the last time we met in the Fade, _Wolf_?" She spoke his new title with such resentment that it cut through him like a knife. "Or is it just her? After all, killing me had always been a part of the plan, had it not? 'A suitable sacrifice'- were they not your words?"

As if she had called it forth from the abyss, the Fade fractured as shadow forced in to being.

"Not just her…" he uttered, hands clutched to his head as the blackness tore at his sense. "I did this for you both!"

Dark tendrils whipped around him, almost consuming and he cried out. She reached out to him but he shirked away.

"Oh my love," she breathed; hand outstretched, eyes pleading. "What have you done…"

The air calmed, leaving only remnants of the darkness to mar his skin as they too slowly faded.

Something inside of her grey eyes broke as she stared at him. "I did not see it… In the real world it bubbles just beneath the surface…I…couldn't… Here, I can see what you have become." A hand travelled to her face, trying in vain to hide her rapidly creasing features. "That _thing_ , that monster that stalks me in my dreams…it is not the man I love but it may as well be. He has taken you here, in the world where you once felt at home… How long until he takes you from my world as well?"

He met her imploring gaze with one of desperation as he tried to near her. "I will not allow it! Trust in me, vhenan! You cannot understand…I… I made a promise to you. I gave you my word that I would…"

"Don't!" With sudden speed, she closed the distance between them – her anger overcoming her restraint but just as suddenly, she stilled; eyes closed in pain. "I would rather not be reminded…" Her voice broke. "…given what you have done to yourself as a result."

His brow wrinkled as regret flooded the waters of his gaze. "It is not your fault; it was my choice and I chose it gladly. I…"

"Stop. I am not interested in your attempts at appeasement. It is done and no matter what I may think…there is nothing I can do to change that now." Her cold grey eyes flashed in his direction. "It is too late, you said so yourself."

He reached out to her. "You don't understand…you cannot. Come home, vhenan. Come home and I will tell you anything you need; I will…show you… Please."

"You are bound to a demon! That is the fact of this – I don't care about technicalities! I don't care why…I…" She shook her head. "There is nothing you can say…nothing you can…" Her blankness fractured and her voice wavered, "An abomination twice over…"

He shook his head frantically, willing the thoughts away. "There was nothing else I could do; I had no other option…I…I had to do something…" He fell in to silence before he took her roughly by the shoulders. "You said that you never doubted I was myself – do you doubt that now?"

As she gazed in to his desperate eyes, her expression softened. "No… You are you...but…" She trailed off, eyes darkening. "I cannot ignore the moments where I now know you were losing yourself. You may not want to believe it but he will try and take you…"

"If you understood… I can control this, I..." He paused in doubt but whatever doubt he may have had left him. "He may try but he will not succeed"

"No he will not," Ellana added with found strength. "I will not let that happen. I will not! That is why I cannot let you stop me; why I cannot come home. I will not let it happen, Solas."

He shook his head, fearing the loss of the quiet she brought. "No… _Please_ reconsider. It is not…"

"Wake me, Solas. I will return to you but you must wake me."

He shook his head yet again. "I cannot do that, vhe…"

"Wake me so I can keep our daughter safe," she interrupted, nothing but resolute.

The implication of her words gave him pause. He gazed down at the ground.

"Wake me," she said, lightly pressed fingers to his skin compelling his eyes to her own. "And know that I have not given up on you."

He stared in to her eyes.

"Wake."

* * *

 _ **Page 28 -**_

 _ **"The labyrinth was the first indication of the depths of my mistake. In honesty, I had expected at least an attempt but this was far beyond anything I had anticipated. I have encountered innumerable demons of strength, after all such existed that could turn the Evanuris. They chose their corruption; they did submit at least to some degree. I did not submit and I was rewarded with the labyrinth. Power unlike anything I have directly experienced. It was as if the Fade had twisted; turned to something I no longer recognised, could no longer manipulate. Confusion and fear were my only companions in that place and no matter where I ran, escape seemed impossible. If it had not been for Ellana then I cannot be certain I would not remain there. Perhaps that was why it was caged; even without his corruption, Elgar'nan seldom abided power that could threaten his own."**_

 _ **…**_

 _ **Page 71 -**_

 _ **Never in all of my ponderings did I anticipate that the Labyrinth was merely a show of strength. To understand restraint, one must first know of what the other is capable. I could have been held there, perhaps indefinitely, but I was not. He showed me what he could do to highlight the fact that he is not. But does that exclude any risk? Either way, I am left with few answers and all the more questions. The truth of the matter is that risk exists for both parties. He could hold me but were he to attempt and fail – his end would be far greater than my own. I fear there is only one way of knowing."**_

Nestled against a crate, Ellana sat re-reading her notes. She had awoken to the eyes of two of her rescuers and judging by the look poorly hidden by the child, her dreaming disturbance was notable. Questions were asked but she brushed them off until they sat in relative silence. The almost rhythmic trundling of the cart beneath her could have been soothing if not for the words she read. She had thought to make two copies of her translation – one for him so he would know and one for her so she could. She had not succeeded in translating it all, not by a long shot but by focusing in on key words, she had taken all she needed from the original. Reading it back, she saw the reasoning; understood why he had done what he had but never would she have condoned it. Desperation had led him to a trap and like any other, desperation pushed him straight in to it. The worst part was his desperation had a name and it was Emmaera. Ellana could not imagine the sight of their daughter's death even once, let alone the many he had suffered. She understood at least in that respect. Every inch of logic within told her that he would fail but what little hope remained, begged to be wrong. He had made so many mistakes, almost destroyed the world twice; the thought that he could do it once again all in the name of their daughter was too much to accept. Her mind kept wandering to what she could do as she stared at the pages, not really reading. Premature in sentiment, she closed her eyes as she tried to pull her thoughts from futile rumination.

"So what draws you to Kirkwall?"

Ellana opened her eyes to the sound of the woman's voice. It had been an hour or so following her waking and she had exchanged some discussion with Sarah but little of consequence. She seemed curious, understandable given how they had met but not something Ellana felt fit to deal with. False pleasantries she could handle but any protracted discussion and the deceptive skill needed for that was beyond her.

"A friend," Ellana replied, a hand going almost instinctually to her daughter for solace.

The woman nodded encouragingly. "Do you have many friends in Kirkwall?" Her tone rang of doubt and as if noticing this herself, she went on, "I only meant…elves nowadays are becoming few and far between. Must have been weeks since we saw our last…" She paused as if awaiting a response but received nothing. "We've only heard rumours out here in the Free Marches, you hear a lot on the road but…"

"Rumours?" Ellana interrupted, trying not to seem too interested.

She looked almost surprised. "About the elven rebellion." She nodded firmly in the direction of her son. "About time if you ask me. We have always tried to teach Aiden that it doesn't matter what someone looks like but he sees the way other people act… I wouldn't know but it…it just seems absurd to me that a person can be mistreated all because of their image! Not their beliefs or who they are as a person!" Surprisingly impassioned, Sarah caught herself mid-stride and quieted. She glanced somewhat furtively at Ellana before she sighed. "It is…just…rather absurd…"

Ellana remained silent for a long moment. "You are one of the few," she said with a smile. "But you're right – a person may be judged for their words and their actions but not for their birth." She gazed down on her daughter.

Sarah shuffled closer. "How old is she?" She smiled as the baby thought to look up at her. "She has your eyes."

Ellana's smile deepened. "A few months off a year, actually." The idea surprised even her as she gently rocked the little one in her arms. "And getting bigger by the day."

Sarah laughed. "So she will be." She turned back to her own sleeping child. "One day you'll look at her and wonder where the time went. Just the other day Jacob was talking about teaching our boy the trade. Imagine that! Not long ago he was a babe like yours and now we're preparing him for being a man." She reached out and touched a hand to her son's cheek. "A man just like his Dad."

Emmaera shrieked loudly. "Dada!"

Ellana did what she could to soothe her and still the noise for the sleeping boy's sake.

Sarah considered her carefully. "Is her father no longer with you?"

Ellana shook her head. "Not for now but…he'll be waiting."

"He must be so proud to have such a beautiful daughter."

Ellana's lip curled. "Much _too_ proud."

* * *

 ** _Page 59 -_**

 ** _"The lake again and left shaken once more. Even if I abandon hope, try to make something of this world, the result is the same. I count nineteen times I have seen my daughter die - six different circumstances, seldom alone. I cannot take much more of this."_**

Solas's eyes opened slowly.

Shivra's voice echoed out before he could even move, "So where is she?"

She sat cross-legged at his side but was not alone. Immediately behind her stood Varden whilst Lis floated even further behind. Solas had not thought to expect that anyone would follow him in to the Crossroads and the sight now was hardly consoling. He sat up with a groan, the cold stone floor having offered a poor surface for sleep.

"I do not know."

Shivra stared at him, lip twitching as it threatened to curl. "You don't _know_? As in you couldn't find her or you couldn't get it out of her?"

Elbows to his knees; he placed his head in his hands as he forced down the overwhelming urge to just scream. "I found her."

"So couldn't get it out of her?" the girl parroted.

Motionless, Solas said nothing.

Lis came forward, bobbing in nerves. "But what did she say?" With a glare as her only reply, she broke her eyes from him. "I mean…is she coming back?"

He turned back to his misery. "Allegedly."

A long silence passed.

"You're not going after her?" Shivra finally piped up.

"Can't. She could be anywhere," he replied, staring out between his fingers at nothing.

Shivra raised an eyebrow. "And when has that stopped you?"

He lay back down on the ground with a thud, hands still covering much of his contorted face. "I would like to be alone."

The sound of scuffing feet suggested someone, at least, was heeding his request.

"So you're giving up? Just like that?" Shivra started, indignation rising in her voice.

"That I am."

A nearer scuffling indicated Shivra was moving, likely in further indignation but it sounded as if Varden put a stop to it.

"Not now," his calm voice simply said.

She rose slowly to her feet, cursing under her breath. The final set of feet was following them out but stopped short.

"Has _she_ given up?" Lis asked before she too, left him to the cold stone.

He heard none of it. A voice within his mind spoke on over her but no matter how hard he tried, he could not tell if it was his own.

"Shut. Up," he replied to it, fingers digging hard in to his skull.

* * *

 ** _Page 63 -_**

 ** _"I cannot describe the desperation I felt that led me to beg of a simple body of water for an answer. And it answered. A female voice; one that sought to guide in her own way. Reminiscent of 'the Matchmaker' as I called her – gently guiding those that she touched to a positive resolution but this time, with far greater effect than mere love."_**

 **…**

 ** _"They walked by my side upon a crystal spire. Seeing Emmaera grown was beyond anything I had come to expect and the hope it brought, more so. I could not see how such a thing could be achieved but its very existence has already given me so much. The spirit of the lake showed me because I asked, because I sought resolution. She said she could show me more if I kept asking."_**

Sarah asked many questions but even with their differences, Ellana knew it came from a place of innocence. The woman and her family meant no harm and, surprising even herself, Ellana did little to obstruct them. They served as a reminder, not only of her own family that she struggled to save but of innocence in general. No matter the race, there were those that wished simply to live and knew nothing more beyond that. They may live in a manner that preserved long held persecutions but they did not choose that path. They could change so easily if allowed a chance.

They talked for some time as the cart trundled on, focus largely on their children. It was fascinating to hear of a child more grown and form expectations of her own but it did little to still her troubled mind. Try as she might, she could not rid herself of the thought that any expectation she made would be just so empty without Solas. While it was true that the family differed markedly from her own, she still saw the comparisons. Sarah and her husband were traders, nomads who seldom knew with any clarity what each day would bring. It was heartening to hear a family could blossom so well in such an environment, even if it was a much calmer version of Ellana's own experience. Regardless of her growing fondness for these relative strangers, she chose to leave them when they came to a stop at a farm on the outskirts of Kirkwall. The family had offered to take her all the way but Ellana wanted to press on. To wait would only allow more time for them to be noticed and for Solas to follow.

 ** _Page 66 -_**

 ** _"The lake again, the image I need at long last! Power – raw unequivocal power and the knowledge I need in one being. It bore no symbolic form and so I could see that the subject of the image was the demon that attempted to possess me within the dragon's lair. The spirit of the lake said the demon and I share a common purpose and while I find that difficult to believe, I will not abandon such promise without fully exploring it. So long it has been in search of an answer, to have one now, even with doubt, is a relief. I will search the Fade and find him once again in the hope that my doubts can be extinguished."_**

Kirkwall was a city of stone and salt air. Even with the ocean stretching out beyond, Ellana felt nothing but uncomfortable. She was unused to cities and the claustrophobic feeling of buildings rising on all sides. Time spent talking with one companion in particular, she had heard much about Kirkwall. She could not say from her own experience but the years must have been kind. She knew it as a 'city of chains' with a terrible history; a rough place, a place one would think twice to walk at night but not any longer. It seemed the new Viscount had earned every bit of his title.

Ellana instinctually kept to the shadows, not knowing quite where she was going. She knew of the Viscount's tower but just as well, she knew this Viscount would never think to live on high. He would be down here, in amongst his people and it was those people that she hoped would lead her to him. She kept on - passing through the streets and not stopping in her path unless knowledge could be overheard. Through the lower streets, only her mind paused at the sight of what was undoubtedly a brothel. The memories of her night spent in one such establishment still cut as they surfaced and distracted her briefly from her task. No matter where she went, there were guards; some caught in conversation as they patrolled. She hid nearby a pair, listening intently until her wandering gaze spied a tree peeking out above stone walls. There had been a gate once, barring entry through. Evidence of the segregation still marred the very edges of the walls but opened as it now lay, Ellana could see clearly in to what was the alienage in which her people should reside. Stone buildings, new and pristine surrounded the great heart tree that had known nothing but squalor up until this point. Too long awaited to stem the tide of revolution, the bettered streets stood all but silent. It was a sad sight but even still, it showed the difference one good man could make.

 **Page 68 -**

 ** _"I found the demon atop a great mountain. He had carved a domain for himself, growing by the day. The lesser demons led me to him. I had caught his interest enough to warrant the effort, that was my only comfort in amongst the well-earnt fear. He spoke of much – my world, as he had known it; his incarceration within nothingness; and the Veil, which freed him of his blindness. He spoke of the world he saw – the fall of Elvhenan, the rise of the humans and the loss of all that made the world whole. In so many ways, he mirrored myself but he had known me, taken my very self for a matter of moments. I could not trust that it was not just a mere mirror."_**

Shadow granted Ellana what she needed. An exchange between guards - a disclosure of their next shift was all it took. She followed a distance as the guard led her toward her goal. The area was certainly pleasant, the home more comfortable than he was probably used to but she still imagined he kept it his own. At least, when he was not frequenting the local drinking establishment. She ducked down beneath a window, conversation between the changing guards concealing the sound of her movements. She was in and through the window long before the words had ended.

The house was deserted. A fire burned in the hearth awaiting the homeowner's return but little else stirred in the darkness. Pessimistically she had considered there may be guards within or at least servants but she saw none as she made her way through the halls. Even when Emmaera thought to sound a sleeping cry, nothing replied. She had been willing to subdue those that may have kept her from her destination but the absence of any threat was an undoubted relief. Every so often, she ducked inside a doorway and her eyes darted about the room. All bore his mark but none enough to still her feet until she reached the end of a long corridor and opened her final doorway. Another hearth burning brightly; books everywhere; a comfortable bed, and a heavy wooden desk with everything one would need to write. This one was his room.

 ** _Page 74 -_**

 ** _"Again I visited him and again I am left staggered. To hear her laugh ripple across the Fade was a gift in and of itself. I had considered the possibility that she may grow to be free of magic but that fear, it appears, was unfounded. She will be at one with the Fade as I am. Even the lake did not show me that. He offered this knowledge without prompt, without seeming gain. A kind favour but begging yet more questions. His will remains the restoration of one world, one he can walk in its entirety and he claims it is that alone. I can understand the sentiment. He offered a choice – one world or them, and he sensed my indecision. I was the one person who could give him what he wished and even caged, he had seen the destruction my actions alone had dealt. Then he offered a third choice, the one I had been waiting for – everything."_**

Ellana tried to resist but could not deny the draw of the desk and its contents. She smiled at familiar titles, frowned as her eyes passed over the romantic books Cassandra so coveted. Her gaze halted across a bound stack of papers - title splayed over the top page in amongst crossed out rejects. In spite of herself, she giggled. It seemed that even after all this time, he still held the ability to draw a laugh from her no matter how dark her mood. She turned just as the door opened behind her. Eyes widened by the sight of an intruder, only widened further as she lowered her hood.

"I'm mad enough that you thought to plan a book about me…but the title? 'Elven Glory'? Are you serious?" Ellana remarked with a smile. "Classic."

Words seemed to have abandoned him and for a long moment, he stared.

"Thought you'd like it," Varric finally said.

* * *

Varric had always been a funny one. On paper, he and Ellana had nothing in common but even after only their meeting, she knew he could be depended on. In truth, she admired him. He rarely hid; uncompromising in who he was and unapologetic. No expectation would last on his shoulders. He would take suggestion, even argument but in the end, Varric did only what he expected of himself. For a man who spun stories to be such a stark truth in the flesh was ironically fitting. He saw past the bullshit – the title, the expectations and beliefs that everyone else held for Ellana. He never saw her as anything more than she was – a girl forced in to a situation by chance. She was not built to lead the Inquisition, not worthy by a long shot and he was the only one who thought to act as if that was normal. The doubt could have broken her but it turned out to be exactly what she needed. It was okay not to be strong and he did not need her to be.

That was why she knew she could trust him – more than any of her Inquisition colleagues, more than Dorian, more even than Solas. He did not need anything from her and so she could allow herself to be real; the disappointment she thought she was. Anyone else would have judged her for wanting to follow Solas but not Varric. He listened, as she needed; helped her walk away from the Inquisition just as she asked, and gave her the belief she needed even if he knew all along that she would fail.

 ** _Page 79 (Final entry) -_**

 ** _"I will not watch her die, not again; neither in prediction nor in truth. I will do what is necessary. Predictions cannot be made, there is no firm basis but I have no other option. If he lies then so be it. I will fight until the end. This night I will go to him and do what I must. This time I will succeed."_**

Varric had not moved from the doorway. In all his disbelief he seemed incapable of much beyond staring, having done so for an awkward amount of time. At long last, he turned his eyes away from his intruder and shrugged. The gesture suggested he cared little but Ellana could see beyond that to the hurt he was trying to deny.

"It's been years, Doe. Long time since we last spoke… I thought I'd never see you again," he said. "After everything, I…" He paused, struggling. "You promised you'd be in touch; let me know if you found anything. I kept out of contact with the others, just like you asked and then…"

Ellana took a tentative step forward. "I know and I'm sorry. I tried to…" She closed her eyes. "Varric, I _tried_ but I…I just couldn't…"

He laughed mirthlessly, almost reaching out to her but held himself back. "I did warn you, kid. It was never going to be that easy. It's not…" His eyes finally met hers. "You loved him." They shared a brief moment of silent recognition before his eyes suddenly widened. "Is he…is he with you?"

She shook her head. "I'm alone so you can unclench." She sighed. "Doesn't know I'm here, in fact, but if that changes…I'd run if I…"

A cooing sound emanating from within the bundle she held quelled her words. Varric's eyes widened once again as the babbling started. Ellana reached within the fabric.

"Not completely alone, actually," she said, corners of her mouth sliding ever so slightly up. "Sorry, I should have said."

He came forward a few steps. "Is that…" He halted his movement, finding himself once again. "Josie mentioned in one of her letters that he'd knocked you up…a while ago…"

"Well here she is," Ellana interrupted, voice becoming shrill. She moved the fabric aside so he could see her happily squealing daughter.

He edged closer, eager eyes fixed to the child but once again stopped short. "She's real cute, Doe. Real cute…"

He trailed off and awkward silence took them once again. Ellana fidgeted, uncertain.

"Varric, I'm sorry," she started, unable to stand the silence any longer. "After everything you did for me – staying with me for as long as you did; helping me leave Skyhold; just being my friend… I should have been in contact, I should have done…"

"Save it," he interrupted, painfully cold. "Why are you here? That's all I'm interested in."

Open mouthed, hurt, Ellana turned away in shame. "I need your help."

"Well shit, Doe," he scoffed. "Don't know what I expected but it didn't really work out well for me the last time…or anyone else for that matter."

"Don't you think I know that!" Unworthy as she was to feel it, she quashed her anger. "I _tried_ …it may not seem like it but I did what I thought I could…"

"Right… I'm sure that must be real comforting for all the people you've hurt." He shook his head as if shaking his anger loose. "Curly might never be able to fight again but it's fine, cause you 'tried'. I'll make sure to tell him that next time I see him…"

"He's alive?!" Ellana interjected, shame discarded in favour of sudden hope.

His eyes narrowed. "Yeah…just barely at first but recovering well, from what I hear… You didn't know?"

"No," she breathed as she sat down on the bed, head in her hands. "I…I asked Dorian but he's not written back…"

He took a few steps in her direction, smiling to himself. "I'm surprised Chuckles didn't find out for you."

She shook her head, thinking to gaze up at him. "No. He probably could have but…I…better not to ask."

"Ah…trouble in paradise. Who could have guessed?" He sat down next to her. "Shouldn't have gone after him, kid. 'Walk away,' is that not what I told you? 'Otherwise you're just going to end up back in the shit.'"

Ellana smiled weakly. "You were right, if that's any consolation. Probably not…" She turned to him, grey eyes shining in the candle light. "I _am_ sorry, Varric. For going back in the first place; for failing to do what I promised I would; for everything that followed…"

With a gentle hand, he touched her shoulder. "I know you are, Doe, and for the record, I think we both knew you were never going to keep that promise." He turned down to her little one. "You don't think I helped you leave because I honestly thought you would kill him, did you?" She shook her head and he smiled. "I helped you cause you and I both know that if anyone can get him to reconsider, it's you, kid. They can throw soldiers at him, blow things up like humans always do but why bother when there's a pretty Dalish girl who can talk him out of it, right?"

Ellana remained silent as the makeshift barrier that held back her emotions threatened to break.

He reached out a hand to the cooing baby in her arms. "And now he's got a kid." He smiled down on her as tiny hands clutched at his fingers. "A damn cute one. What more does he need?"

Ellana stared down at her child, tears brimming. "It's still not enough." Her voice must have broken because Varric thought to turn his attention to her. She shook her head. "He still wants his world...he wants us too but he won't… Varric, he's…he's done something…something terrible… I fear…I fear…" She could hardly get the words out.

"Doe…what has he done?"

Ellana shook her head, rubbing uselessly at her near streaming eyes. "I need to ask you about Anders. About everything that…happened…to him."

The dwarf at her side rose suddenly to his feet. "You…You can't mean?! Why would you need to know about him?"

In the din of his incredulous tone, Emmaera started to cry.

"It's why I'm here, Varric," Ellana said, loud over her daughter's cries as she tried to quiet her. "I need to know!" She shook her head as the cries lessened. "And you're the only one who can tell me…" Her own tears threatened once again and her voice broke. "I did say it was terrible!"

He sat down at her side, arm to her in consolation. "Aww, Doe…that's…well, shit." He shook his head. " _Really_ shit. I mean, Blondie was bad enough but…what he did was fucking trivial compared to what your boy could…"

"I know," Ellana interrupted with a sigh. "I know…" She turned to him, features screaming desperation. "That's why I need you. Tell me what it was like. I need to know if there's anything… _anything_ I can do."

He let out a note of a laugh. "You probably know how these things end." At the sight of her forlorn expression, his softened and he gazed down at the child in her arms. "Anders was…he was fine at first and in truth, things only got bad towards the end. He used to say it was Justice and when that was true, well…he was just a regular person but there were times it became something else…"

"Vengeance," Ellana interrupted quietly.

Varric nodded. "Yeah. Only happened when he got angry, saw something he didn't like and then he would just lose it. Eyes would glow, voice would go – the whole shebang. He tried to fight it but…I dunno, as it got worse, it's like he lost the will. She was the only one who could get through to him when he got like that…"

"She?" Ellana asked, finally with some hope. "Hawke?"

He nodded once again, a slight smile forming across his gloomy aspect. "Yeah. Took just a few words sometimes, more when it was really bad but even when that thing took over, she could still get through to him." His smile evaporated. "At least…until the end…"

Ellana stared down, eyes fixed to nothing as despair overwhelmed. Varric touched a hand to her.

"That can be you, Doe. Who knows, maybe he won't lose the fight like Anders did? The Fade, spirits, demons – it was his thing, after all. If anyone can make it out, it's him."

Ellana shook her head. "There is no way out. Well…only one." She swallowed hard. "Even now he…he's fighting it like you say and I…I don't know how much longer I can keep pulling him back." She finally met his gaze. "If he loses, he'll destroy more than just a Chantry…"

To Ellana's surprise, he laughed. "First we take down an ancient Tevinter Magister bent on destruction, then one of our friends reveals he's actually an ancient elvhen god bent on similar destruction…here I am thinking it can't get any worse?"

"Wrong," Ellana added with her own laugh.

Varric sighed. "Well, if there's anyone I know who could get us out of this fucked situation, it's you."

Ellana seriously doubted that but still, she smiled. Never had she been more delighted to hear herself included in the use of the word 'us'.

* * *

They had talked for what seemed like hours but for the first time since she had read Solas's damned journal, Ellana felt strong.

"I have to try, Varric, but…if I fail…if he loses himself…"

"Then you won't have to pick up the pieces alone," he interrupted, coldness from before entirely absent with baby bouncing on his knee. "There are people who still care for you; knew who you were all along and…well…even the others won't want to just sit around and let him fuck up the world…again…"

She laughed lightly. "Go easy on him. I know he's made mistakes…"

"World-destroying mistakes," Varric interrupted in clarification.

"With all I've done, we're practically made for each other," she said with a sigh. "But…" She sighed again. "All I can do is try."

"What _do_ you want me to do about the others? They probably would be better off knowing…"

"But then they'll know everything," Ellana added. "You can't tell them without also telling them you helped me leave, Varric, and then they'll know everything – what I intended, how you lied to them for years… If Cassandra doesn't kill you for that, Dorian will."

He laughed. "Yeah, poor Sparkler. He'd hate to think I knew something about you that he didn't."

"He would," Ellana replied with a smile. She took her daughter from him and she cooed quietly in her arms. "He's already had to deal with far too much on my account."

"He would say it was worth it and it's insane but I would say the same," he slowly added, returning her smile with equal warmth.

They shared a moment until a bell heralding dawn's light took both of their attention.

"I…I should be going," Ellana finally said. "Solas is…he's waiting for me …I hope…"

Ellana got to her feet, gently tucking her little one away in the folds around her waist.

"Doe, wait…there was something I wanted to ask you…"

Ellana stopped her progress to the door and turned partially back.

"Heard you've been setting your sights on Tevinter," he said with a hint of a self-satisfied smile. "Bad idea…real bad idea."

"You have heard?" Ellana interjected, likely just as he wanted. "Don't tell me you have sources, Master Tethras! Who could imagine such a thing from an innocent Viscount such as you…"

He raised an eyebrow. "Ha. Hilarious as always." He shook his head slightly. "Not spies, somehow I doubt a dwarf would fit in amongst your elf folk… Stumbled on it more like." The self-satisfied smile formed fully. "Your boy is trying to meet with an old friend of mine and he thought I might be interested. Not up for a meeting, by the way, you're barking up the wrong tree with that one."

Ellana came over, brow furrowed. "An old friend? How is that…?" And then it dawned. "The elf you talked about; the former slave with those bizarre sounding markings; the perpetually brooding one…"

"Fenris. Yeah, that's the one. Never going to get him to agree to work with a super-mage like your boy, dislikes the regular ones enough."

Taken aback to the point of stalling, it took Ellana a while to take in what he had said. "He won't? At all?" Her eyes narrowed. "Because of something you said?"

"Well, I told him what was going on…had to," Varric replied, surprisingly defensive. "Couldn't leave him to go in blind."

Ellana's palm met her forehead and she sighed.

"I thought that was what you would have wanted? More progress he makes, closer we all get to him destroying everything… _again_."

Ellana ignored the jibe. "No, Varric…no… Even if your friend refuses, he'll just find someone else or…tear apart Tevinter himself…" Judging by the look in Varric's eyes, he shared her sentiment of how bad that would be. "Nothing like that will stop him, especially not now." She stood in thought for a long moment. "Better…better to give him what he wants…and this Fenris, he would get what he wants too - the slaves would be freed and Tevinter crippled…and then…then we would have another ally…if…if…we needed it…" Her voice cracked with even the suggestion.

Varric rose to her. "I'm sorry, Doe…I…"

"Would he listen to you?" Ellana went on, ignoring his attempts to comfort. "If he could even just meet with us…maybe I could make something work…"

"I can certainly try." He shook his head. "Maybe if I bring you into it, say what you're about… I'll think of something. Still might have a fight on your hands but, I'll think of something."

"Thank you, Varric…thank you." She turned finally to leave. "If it helps, tell him it's going to happen either way or I don't know…"

"Has to, to keep me updated?" Varric finished for her.

She smiled warmly back at him. "Has to."

His eyes lingered on her before he shook his head once more. "Promise me something, alright? Promise that if he does meet you, you'll keep anything from happening to him." He hesitated, no doubt registering the reservation in her eyes. "You'll at least try?"

"That I can promise," Ellana replied with a resolute nod. "Least I can do after…after everything…"

Their eyes lingered on one another, both uncertain if this would be the last time they had a chance.

"Take care of yourself, Doe." He reached out a hand to the bundle she held, smiling with remorse. "and wee Em too."

Unable to bear the weight of another goodbye, Ellana made for the door only to turn back before she could pass through. "Thank you, Varric…for everything."

* * *

Solas lay still on the cold stone. Any understanding of time had been lost to him and surrounded by the unreal atmosphere of the Crossroads, there was no indication to suggest how many hours he had waited. He had lain in fear. Fear that something might happen to them; fear they would never return; fear that once again by trying to save it, he had destroyed the one thing that mattered most to him. So clouded by the voice whispering across his mind, he drifted perpetually in to sleep. Even now, he knew not if he were awake or dreaming. Neither place was quiet. Sounds no longer entered his consciousness; even the sound of an Eluvian bursting in to life was not enough to provoke movement. Over the hours, he had heard that sound so many times and it had always been his imagination. He had lost hope that he would ever hear it for real. A weight descended on him out of nowhere, rising slowly up to rest on his chest. It was warm, calming, much needed in the state he was in. A small touch traced a line across his cheek and uncertain if it were a dream, he reached up to it, only to clasp a hand in his own. His eyes snapped open. For the first time, he truly felt the weight - her weight - lain atop him. He heard the sound of her breathing, rhythmic with his own and their daughter babbling nonsense at her mother's chest. He stared down at both of their silver hair in disbelief, screaming mind silenced to nothing.

"Vhenan," he breathed, hoarse from the angry cries of hours lost.

She turned up to him, grey eyes shimmering with brilliance as they always did.

Her hand once again found his cheek. "Oh my love…" Her words broke with the effort.

"I am sorry… I can't…I can't…" Tears welled in his eyes. "I thought I would have to do this alone…"

She turned herself fully toward him, inciting a gentle squeal from the child as she did. "Never. You are mine and I am yours," she said with such certainty. "We will fight this, Solas, together."

He held her tight in his arms as a single tear broke free.

* * *

It was Ellana's turn to be the strong one. For too long she had wondered, wished desperately to know all he planned and now she did. She knew what she had to do. He was going to fracture, lose parts of himself day by day. Some he could reclaim before they fell, more with her help but there may come a time where too little remained and then he would be gone. That was how Varric had described it. She existed now to keep that from happening, to stand with him for however long time allowed but she held no delusions of grandeur. She was the only thing that brought him quiet but she knew in her heart that it was not enough. It was too late.

They had talked for a long time. She focused on understanding the facts rather than poking holes in his logic - that would aid no one. It was exceedingly difficult at times but for him, she persevered. Solas was usually so pragmatic but in this, all thought had abandoned him. Before their daughter had even been born, he had written the first section of his journal – an unrelated traversal in to the impossibility of a functional abomination in these modern times. With the rest, it was almost ironic. He had inadvertently written out a compendium of all the reasons he would fail along with the gaps in his knowledge and then ignored every last one of them. She found herself coldly wondering if that was how he had approached creating the Veil. So much was making sense and that hurt her the most - the fact that she had missed it. He had been frank with her so she knew that he had been this way since shortly before finding her mother. Even thinking on that trip alone and the power he had displayed far beyond what she had seen of him, she felt she should have known. Mirwen had known all along, that thought plagued her throughout. More than that, the Keeper saw this as necessary; she had to.

Ellana waited until he had fallen asleep in her arms before rising. It was morning, the sun already making shadows across their bedroom but she saw no reason to deny him the sleep he so clearly needed. Every time her skin had brushed against the crystal set in her arm, she had heard the dragon's cries. Dhaveira was the only one who knew what she was truly feeling, the only one who saw behind the walls she had built. Desperation grew with every whine, as if she knew she could never physically reach her. It was Ellana who chose to bridge the gap as she passed through the Eluvian and out in to the valley, needing her friend just as much. Finally, she allowed herself to fall in to pieces and wept in to Dhaveira's warmth. She was nothing, a tiny entity against the great ivory hide and yet, the beast curled around her and whined; still, as she knew she needed. The dragon had known all along as well – desperately trying to protect her from the monster she had wanted so badly to keep caged. Even a dragon had outdone her. Ellana willed herself back in to control. She brushed her cheek against the smooth scales as another whine emanated.

"We're going to lose him, da'len. That is what she meant." She turned herself so her back rested against the beast just as the sound of footsteps against stone entered her awareness. Cold grey eyes stared up at Mirwen. "I promised I would help him but…I can't, can I?" She allowed no answer. "Before me, he had nothing beyond his purpose but now…he has so much to fear, so much to lose and it will destroy him. I should never have come back, I…I doomed him…"

The Keeper shook her head. "You changed him, just as you intended. You made this about so much more than his failure…"

"By pushing him to make another?" Ellana exclaimed joined by a shriek from her dragon.

"That was his choice, not yours but many you have made brought us to this point…"

"Yes, just as you hoped…or saw…" Ellana rose to her feet, advancing on the Keeper. "You were never one to offer answers…you made me find them. So tell me…tell me…" She stopped well within Mirwen's personal space. "Long have I asked myself why you are here…why you wanted _me_ here. 'It had to be me', right?" Ellana shook her head as her expression crumpled beneath the weight of her emotion. "And what have I…done…?" The Keeper said nothing. "I thought you believed I could convince him, turn him from his task…but no, _this_ is my contribution. I corrupted him and then our daughter corrupted him further until, in his desperation, he became a fool. _That_ was what you wanted from me."

Mirwen shook her head. "If I wished for him to fail…the world will be no better off in this eventuality. Do not think…"

"I wanted to change the world, make it equal for my people…our people," Ellana interrupted with tears in her eyes. "I thought you wanted that as well… What was it? If not to force failure, what did you see would come of this?"

"I did not see the path, only…fragments. The Fade would allow me so much…and no more…" Mirwen took her by the shoulders. "I saw many ends. So…many…and those with you, they held hope. But you can see only one, as if it were inevitable…"

"You said I would never do what was necessary," Ellana started with yet another shake of her head. "You said I would have no other choice and I know only one way to vanquish an abomination." Resolute eyes met the Keeper's. "But you _knew_ I couldn't do that…you…"

"If you had known what would happen, would you have returned?" Mirwen added, standing firm.

Ellana's eyes widened slightly. "No…no…I would have… I couldn't have…"

"It had to be you." Mirwen smiled weakly. "You, who forced him to confront the truth of this world; see it as not just something of value but _real_. Once a terrible dream he must fix, changed irreparably to potential. That is what _you_ are, not some outcome – you are hope. Together, you both brought us to this point and where it ends, is up to you."

"Protecting my people is more important, keeping the world whole should always be more important…"

"Heart and mind in contest, only together can you earn clarity. You can protect your people whilst fighting for or against him but first, you must choose if it is worth the fight."

Ellana considered for a long moment. "He always was…and if that fucking demon takes him away from me, I'll drag him back out of the Fade myself if I have to."

* * *

 **A/N - Was the bold on the excerpts kind of overkill? I can never tell in doc manager. It looks like centering has done nothing in there. Meh, as long as it's clear.**


	38. The Planted Tree

**A/N - Hi! Been a while. Quick query: I'm looking for someone who might want to beta read for me. Not looking for anything professional, just someone to look chapters over before they are published that, you know, isn't me. I'm open to most arrangements. Feel free to message me on here if you might be interested** **and we can discuss how it might work. Cheers thanks bye!**

* * *

"I understand the concern…and I appreciate it, vhenan, but it is unnecessary. Nothing more than a momentary lapse, one I assure you will not happen again."

Solas spoke as if he were already tired of this conversation, a fact that only worsened Ellana's desire to probe. Try as she might, managing her emotions was proving difficult.

"Unnecessary?" she almost scoffed, swallowing back the derision at the last second. "But why would it do that, Solas? Why the Arbor Wilds? Why move people there?"

She smiled, trying in vain to cast doubt on the sour feeling. Her voice kept rising against her will and judging by the look he gave, his perception was certainly not impaired by his new passenger.

He shook his head, gone for only a matter of seconds. "Why the Wilds? I would surmise it is due to what you well know - that was where the Sentinels made their home. A valid avenue for exploration, my people would help a great deal. An avenue I have already explored, however…"

"When?!" Ellana interrupted.

"Before you, my heart. Well…your return, I should say." His eyes still within view, she could see as they wandered away from her in to thought. "I approached them not long after leaving you. It was foolish to think they would listen…" He shook his head, willing his thoughts away. "They rejected me. Some disbelieving and some more interested in hating me for the pain I had caused." He sighed. "There was no help to be had there, and I would not force them…even for this."

"But why?" she started with her own shake. "Not them, _it._ " She spoke the word as a curse, refusing with everything she had to give it any attribute that could suggest being. "Why go back to them? Why even try if they wouldn't help you?" He simply shrugged, as if it did not even matter. Her eyes widened. "You asked, didn't you?"

"And what would be the point?" The question really made her want to shout at him, so lazily was it delivered. "Duplicity is a quality not just held by the living, vhenan. An answer would not be an answer. Whatever his reasons – to help or hinder, it does not matter. He chose to take control from me and it will not be repeated. That is the end of it."

"But…" He silently groaned as soon as she spoke. "You said that there are times you relinquish control to afford yourself power or certain skills…"

"Yes!" he interrupted before a slow exhale calmed him. "That is…what I said…and it is true but not a concern. Every time, it is returned without issue and even if it were not, he will not hold me down with ease…nor would it be wise."

Ellana desperately wanted to argue but with a hard swallow, held back. She understood now; not all, by any means but she never would without experiencing it. She knew all she could and arguing like this, achieved nothing. It could not change what was done or even reassure her. That was what she knew she was seeking – reassurance; and no matter how many times he said he could handle it, she got not even an ounce. The voice in the back of her mind kept telling her that no matter how knowledgeable or powerful he may be, he was deluding himself. She hated that voice. Without it, she could be deluded too.

"I have allowed myself too much," he went on, actually appearing something more than just irritated. "My focus lapsed and that is my fault; something I can rectify… _we_ can rectify." He rose to join her at the other side of the desk and taking her hand, tried to catch her eye. "Vhenan…trust in me and with your help, we will achieve what we have wanted for so long. Help me maintain my focus."

She was pretty sure that what he really meant was 'stop questioning me it is really starting to piss me off' but gazing in to his pleading eyes, her annoyance faltered. She was achieving nothing after all. It seemed pointless to punish him for his choices, especially when he was so good at doing that to himself. She considered her best course of action; stalling at the very concept, cold as it was. She would have loved to go back to how it was but it was hard. Even being near him no longer felt as natural as it should. The instinct was to shirk away and she found herself always having to overcompensate - draw him in in the hope that he might not notice how she truly felt.

She sighed pitiably. "I guess I could…" One corner of her mouth quirked up. "What are _you_ going to do for _me_?"

"Other than carry you and our daughter through the destruction of the Veil?" he said with a disbelieving chuckle. "I cannot imagine how I will top…"

"Kiss me, Solas," Ellana interrupted. "I _meant_ kiss me."

His brow furrowed. "Ah…" He smiled as he took her chin between his fingers, leading her in. "Very well."

It was soft, not what she had been expecting and she found she wanted quite a long moment of it before she pulled away.

"And other stuff - that too," she clarified, gesturing down below and drawing his eyes.

He raised an eyebrow. "Granted." He kissed her again, more hungrily but pulled away only a moment later. "Bonds or none? You did so enjoy it the last time."

Seconds from another kiss, she giggled against his lips. "Not now, my love. I have somewhere to be…" She gazed out the window, taking in the sun's height. "And so do you."

He joined her in her look before groaning. "For fuck's sake."

The edges of her lips bowed up before she laughed. "I'm rubbing off on you!"

With a roll of his eyes, he gently relieved himself of her weight to pace about in preparation. He stopped as he removed something from his desk.

"Will you be taking Maera?" he asked.

Her overwhelming compulsion was for assent but the hint of hope in his voice slowed her from speaking. She feared for her daughter in his company still, but it was irrational. In a purely logical albeit hurtful frame, if he tried to do her harm it would not matter who was around to protect her, he would succeed. However, she found her mind focused on a more emotional argument. This Solas, the one standing in front of her now, was her Solas; not some monster, not the wolf that drew her blood in her dreams.

She tilted her head, smiling in anticipation of the relief he was going to feel; the hurt she was about to avoid. "You can have her if you like." She shrugged, trying her best to seem as if her words had taken no thought. "Either way. Although I imagine Aemilia may prefer you not be distracted." She laughed lightly. "Poor girl still seems a bit overwhelmed by the idea…" Her look turned stern. "Cannot _believe_ you didn't tell her."

He ignored the glare he was receiving. "Best she gets used to it. I will take her. Aemi could do with softening and perhaps our little one might temper some of the edges." He came to Ellana's side and kissed her amongst her hair. "Or at the very least, show her that there is more to life than the pursuit of importance."

"Or alternatively, she'll just be annoyed by a our shrieking baby who refers to literally everyone as 'Dada'," Ellana replied with a conciliatory kiss to his cheek.

"Yes…" His expression dropped. "Has rather dampened the significance for me…"

"Comforting for me, though," Ellana interjected with a smirk. "Here I was thinking she loved you more when actually, we're all 'Dada' to her."

"That could be seen as a compliment," he tried.

"You keep telling yourself that, love." She reached up to wrap a hand around his head as she kissed him. "I'll tell Dhaveira you send your love but are still too _occupied_ to visit."

His eyes narrowed. "Quite."

* * *

Ellana had changed before heading out. She lied – told Solas it was due to discomfort but the idea that she would find more comfort in a dress was bordering on the absurd. He had no reason to doubt, however. Such a mundane thing was not a likely place for a lie but the paranoid part of her brain still questioned if he knew. In amongst the floaty, concealing layers of her chosen garment a box was hidden. It was not until she reached the relative safety of Dhaveira's island that she undid the ties and laid it out on the ground. Amongst all her other collected items, it looked equally mundane but he would know different. It was his, after all.

Once Mirwen finally arrived, she saw fit to open the box. A brief silence followed broken only by the watching dragon's trills.

"The orb," Mirwen uttered, earning only a nod in reply. "His orb…but how…?" The Keeper shook her head. "You found it?"

"Well he was hardly going to give it to me, now was he?" Ellana retorted with the slightest of sneers. She sighed, shifting her weight against the ground. "He took it once we slayed Corypheus. I've always known he must have it but… I wasn't looking for it; I didn't see what that could accomplish…"

"You found it when you were searching," the Keeper interrupted, still shaking her head every so often. "For the book…"

Ellana nodded. "He probably never thought I would look there…or maybe… Em's crib had a compartment, found it by accident and…there it was. The two most precious things to him, housed in the same place – fitting, almost."

"But why take it?" The dragon shrieked and Mirwen raised a hand to meet the beast's great head. "The battle rendered it useless, incapable of granting him the power he needs…"

"Broken, not useless," Ellana interjected. "It is _his_ orb and like each of his kin, it is unique to him. It alone can tear down the Veil – that was why he took it. Moulded in to precision by centuries of his hand – it is not just a means of increasing power, as it would be to any other. For him it is so much more. He never intended to use another orb to tear down the Veil... If that could work then why would the Evanuris not think to do the same? He intended to use it to repair _his_ orb – the one alone focused to be capable of that task."

"How? How do you know this? Did he…?"

Ellana laughed. "I _don't_ know. He didn't tell me nor have I thought to prompt him. All presumptions…"

"Presumptions?"

"Based on knowledge," Ellana added with a shrug as she closed the box and turned her full attention to the Keeper. "Either way, I cannot keep it. Here."

Mirwen stared at her outstretched hand. "You want _me_ to take it?"

"If I was to hide it, he would find it," Ellana replied with yet another shrug. Her uncertain eyes slowly met the blue of the Keeper's. "I don't…I don't know what I want to do with it…I just had to take it. Maybe I find comfort knowing I hold the one way he has to complete his plans. Maybe I want to use it to keep him from destroying the world. I don't know yet but…I know I don't want to give it back. Please, Mirwen. I'm not asking you to care for it or guard it or anything like that…just to hide it somewhere only you know..."

"No. It should be with you, no matter what you may choose to do with it…"

"And it can be," Ellana interrupted. "But not now…not while I could be so easily convinced to return it. The day may come where I can hold it once again, and I will accept the burden gladly, but it will be safer with you…for now, at least."

She held up the box again and to her surprise, Mirwen took it. "You trust me enough to hold such an important piece of your future?"

Ellana considered her for a long moment before nodding. She turned away with a sigh, elbow upon her crossed legs supporting the weight of her head.

"I will return it to you," Mirwen said as she too took a seat upon the ground. "Once you are ready, I will return it to you."

The Keeper nestled the box within her robes; oddly tentative, as if this was all unfamiliar. It was not a usual reaction for the all-seeing Mirwen. Ellana lay back on the ground with a thud.

"Varden will be here shortly," she remarked, touching a hand to Dhaveira as the dragon nuzzled at her fallen form. "Stop that, da'len - it tickles." She turned back to Mirwen. "You are welcome to leave if you like. I imagine this will be…a difficult conversation."

Mirwen's eyes narrowed. "Why so? The man may be cold but not difficult."

"It's not that," Ellana replied with a shake of her head against the dirt. "He…he's going to find it difficult to believe, I think…" She ignored Mirwen's doubting eyes. "Everyone thinks of Solas as this infallible creature – cunning, intelligent, always right; it comes with the whole 'god' territory…and they're right, in a way. He is the smartest man I know but…not infallible. He doesn't know what is right any more than the rest of us. He's just a man…a man who has made his share of mistakes and will continue to do so. He is no different from the rest of us…"

"But many do not see it that way," Mirwen interjected. "It is comforting to think that the one who leads the elves to glory is so much more than that; as it was with the gods. A difficult thing to accept that those one worships were born the same."

"As it was with me…" Ellana shook her head once more and tilted herself away, ashamed. "When I led the Inquisition, so many thought I held all the answers…only I didn't. I stumbled through every moment just as any other person would. I knew they looked at me differently and that was why I hid myself. To keep them in that comfort because that was what they needed. Doesn't change the fact that it was never true."

"You fear Varden's perception of his leader will shatter." The slightest of smiles crept across Mirwen's lips as she turned Ellana's shoulder back towards her. "He knows already, dear one." She laughed. "The man is realistic, painfully so and then there's you…"

Ellana raised an eyebrow. "Me?"

"Yes, my child. If not for you then perhaps he _would_ appear infallible… Our leader – the great Fen'Harel, he loves you. He should not but he does. If that is not the mark of being 'just a man' then I know not what is." At the sight of Ellana's hurt expression, she paused. "You are a testament to the fact that he is capable of more than just purpose. That could be seen as both a flaw and a virtue. If a god is incapable of feeling then what kind of god will they be? Not one I would want setting my course."

"You're saying it's a good thing? That he's flawed? After everything he has done wrong?"

Mirwen smiled. "Not that he's flawed, my dear girl, but that he has the power to change. That is what it means to live in our condition - to live with feeling; to move between right and wrong; to alter our purpose. An infallible being is not capable of such things. Perfection cannot change itself and in an ever-changing world, perfection it would no longer be. Better just a man than the so easily tarnished perfection of a god."

"I doubt he would agree," Ellana mused quietly. "Too often his purpose has been diverted by his 'testament'; it would be so much easier if he felt nothing toward me…"

"He did not choose to feel for you. Just as he did not choose to feel for those enslaved beneath the Evanuris and yet, he strove to set them free. Just as he did not choose to feel for his people trapped beneath his mistake and yet, he strives to save them. To live is to be imperfect but to live can also be an opportunity to save; to make better; to be free."

Ellana sat considering the Keeper's words for a long moment. Everything that was good in Solas came from that place – the decidedly mortal side of his being. To be benevolent was to feel for others, without that he would just be another one of the Evanuris - coveting power so they might not tarnish. At least his flaws, his mistakes came from a place of good intentions. She sighed as she thought of all the time and effort he had wasted feeling too much for her, wondering if he regretted it.

She was so deep in thought that she did not realise Varden had arrived until Mirwen rose. Surprising, given how loudly Dhaveira shrieked. He ignored her entirely, which was quite impressive considering the subject was a humongous dragon. Dhaveira, not easily offended, seemed to take it as some sort of challenge.

He offered Ellana a hand to rise, only seeming mildly disgruntled by the beast nudging at him. "My Lady, I cannot say I was thrilled by the notion of meeting in this place."

She looked anywhere but at him. "I…uh… Apologies for Dhaveira. She can be…persistent…"

She had gone over what she would say a thousand times, never with much satisfaction. She trusted him - that was not the issue. Varden was and always would be practical and while he was loyal to Solas, that was for a reason. She turned her attention back, to be met by cold blue eyes stippled by the slightest hint of amusement.

"You are distracted today, my Lady," he said in his perpetually shrewd way. "To business before you are lost completely."

With the slightest of nods from her, he barely broke his stride.

"Why am I here? Your request was rather vague but I can speculate." He regarded Mirwen with what seemed like deliberate curiosity, as if asking instead why she was here.

"Here, because it is the only place I can guarantee he will not go. You, because I…I did as you requested…I spoke to Solas…"

She intended to explain Mirwen's presence and enquire as to his seeming disinterest in the drama of the last few days but stalled at the sight of his expression. One corner of his mouth had risen only slightly and even with how difficult he was to read, she could tell a smug smile when she saw one.

"Yes, I am aware," he said, just as she had suspected.

Accurate reading aside, her brow still furrowed. "He told you? But then he…"

"Not directly," Varden interrupted. "He mentioned nothing of…" He paused to gaze curiously at Mirwen once more. "…what we discussed…but I did receive a reprimand and given how often you were mentioned, I could surmise the reason."

"Mentioned? In what sense?" Ellana asked, brow not letting up.

Varden exhaled a few times – what passed for a laugh. "Our roles apparently do not meet, or _should_ not. A fact I was not aware of personally but… I am not to ask of you, that was the belaboured point."

This time it was Ellana's turn to laugh. "Right…somehow I doubt _that_ was the issue. 'Don't try and bypass me' was likely more the point."

"Indeed," he replied, artfully avoiding commitment.

He stared at her for a long moment until Ellana realised why. "Oh! What he said…right…"

"Perhaps privacy might be appropriate," he interrupted, eyes turned to Mirwen.

"I put you on the trail," the Keeper retorted in Ellana's place. "Do not think me blind to where it would lead."

The look Varden gave her was something. If he had been at all willing, Ellana was certain he would have rolled his eyes.

"Mirwen stays," Ellana ordered with as much strength as she could muster. "She knows of what we speak and is just as involved as you or I. I require council…from _both_ of you. You may be the more practical side but Mirwen's input is needed."

He seemed to enjoy being referred to as practical; judging by the very slight glimmer that passed across his eyes but it was gone in favour of his usual humourless aspect long before he spoke, "As you wish, my Lady. Speak what you will."

Explaining everything to Varden was more of a challenge than she anticipated. She took so much of the knowledge she held for granted, so much so that she just presumed he held it too. She tried her best but lost him fairly quickly. He seemed to find the concept of an abomination not just destroying everything exceedingly difficult to get around; let alone the idea that one would simply write out orders. Ellana could understand that, most people were that way. He had spent much of his life in Tevinter but she doubted he had experience with anything of the sort. Few people did. Once she had explained as best she could, he seemed more accepting but his disbelief remained.

Eyes still slightly wide in the aftermath of it all, he struggled. "You did not need to tell me this…I… Your sudden absence and return; his…behaviour…I did not need to know. A dismissal of my concerns would have sufficed. Unless…unless you wish to ask something of me?"

He looked alarmed by the concept, so far out of his depth. Ellana felt the immense urge to comfort.

She exhaled it away, opting to be direct as he so often was. "Provided you can do so with discretion, I need you to look out for any further lapses...and…I…need you to prepare…"

He had been nodding her along until that last word. With it, his face fell. " _Prepare_?"

Ellana closed her eyes as all the fine lines upon her skin creased in misery. "To… We may never need it but if he loses this fight…this… _this_ is over. He will no longer be himself and… I cannot let people follow a demon in to the abyss. If he falls, we need to get as many people out as possible. We may need them to…to…" Her voice cracked and she shook her head.

Varden reached out a hand to her - holding her straight by the shoulder, forcing her tall. "I understand. It will take time and immeasurable care but…consider it done." He released her to Mirwen's waiting arms and turned to pass the dragon. "I pray the time never comes."

Allowing Ellana to press her weight fully in to her, Mirwen touched a gentle hand to her shoulder. "You did well, my child."

* * *

Ellana stumbled out of the Eluvian to the sound of an angry shout. She could not quite make out what was said but she knew that voice could only be Shivra's. Starting towards the sound, she gestured to Mirwen that she should make herself scarce. Since her return, Ellana had been spending as much of her time by Solas's side as she could. She told herself it was because he needed her but that was only half the truth.

"She's on the island," added Miris's far calmer voice. "We should ask her, Shiv, not…"

Ellana reached their eye-line before the tall elf could finish her thought. The only one facing her, Miris's words halted as something bordering relief washed through her expression. The others quickly thought to look in her direction – Shivra with a face like thunder; Varden looking strained; Lori, tired; and Lis, white as if she had seen a ghost. She ran to her, blonde hair billowing with the speed of her movement, and grasped her tightly in her arms. Something resembling words tumbled free but Ellana could not understand even a one.

"Great, Lis has seen her so she can shut up with the 'what if she's dead' crap," Shivra piped up from behind. "More to the point – why the fuck are you two meeting out here?!"

Lis chose this moment to pull away but Ellana really wished she could have stayed in the embrace a moment longer. Barely even willing to face the initial conversation, the idea of broaching her dealings with Varden was bordering on unbearable. Luckily, she did not need to say a word.

Varden turned Shivra to him. "Look at me," he said as he took her chin in a hand. "Off-limits."

She just stared at him, only breaking to glance back at Ellana. It seemed to take a great deal of effort but she finally nodded. "Okay. I… You can go…"

They exchanged a few more words, too quiet for Ellana to hear, but it was not long before he was gone and Shivra bounced towards her.

"Hey," she said, with a soft slap to Ellana's shoulder. "You been busy? Lis was convinced you were dead, did I mention that?"

She should have let it go, it was what she wanted but Ellana could not resist asking, "You're dropping it? That easily?"

Shivra shrugged. "Work related stuff is none of my business."

"But you didn't…know that?"

"It's something I shouldn't know." Shivra shrugged yet again. "If I shouldn't know, I'm not going to make anyone tell me; not my business… But! You are going to have to tell us where you went for a whole damn day!"

They all stared expectantly at her.

"It's…it's…complicated." Ellana ran a hand through her hair as she retreated a few steps. "I can't deal with this right…"

Lis lost her restraint. "It been days since you came back and we have hardly seen you! No one has! We're worried about you, Ellana, _really_ worried and…"

"Well you don't need to be!" Ellana almost shouted. "This is not your problem, it is mine!" She took a long breath to calm herself. "Thank you for caring enough to worry but that is not something you should have to do, not on my account. I am fine; you should not have to worry. I…I am fine…"

A glance was all it took to tell her that they knew she was lying but she did not stop in her retreat. It hurt to leave them like this but to tell them the truth would bring their world crashing down and she could not bring herself to do that, even if she did need them now more than ever.

* * *

"Fenris? That is his name? You are certain?"

Solas did little to hide how rattled a single name had rendered him and it must have been apparent to everyone. Ellana did not know the full details of how he had behaved in her absence but she had heard enough. They were afraid of him. Solas had always been an intimidating person to work for but everything he did was with purpose and control. Now they all seemed to know that might no longer be the case. Even Aemilia took a worthy pause before speaking.

"I am certain." She took a cautious look in his direction. "I… Do you know of him?"

Her question fell on deaf ears. Already deep in thought, Solas only managed a glance at Ellana and nothing more. It took everything in her to keep her face neutral. With Solas, even the most minute detail would be enough to tell him she already knew fine well that Fenris was the slave-liberator they were due to meet. He turned his gaze back to Aemilia and Ellana breathed a silent sigh of relief.

"That explains a great deal," he finally replied, annoyance biting through. "Certainly explains his resistance to meet." Ellana caught his eye again and he sighed. "But not his turnaround…or perhaps it does…" He focused back on Aemilia; eyes bright, no longer lost to thought. "Proceed with the arrangements; we will go ahead as planned. If it is deceit then it will end in a suitable manner."

The last part was clearly more for himself than anyone but Ellana had a pretty good idea what he meant. He was questioning why a man bent on rejecting his overtures would change his mind and presumed, as he so often did, that it was due to his enemies. She had absolutely no intention of telling him that it was someone much closer to home who was behind it all.

Even lacking so much information, Aemilia still seemed to have cottoned on. "If there will be the threat of fighting, would it not be best to take others?"

For once, Ellana did not think she was trying to invite herself. She seemed to be showing genuine concern but she could have told her that was pointless.

"I do not intend to provoke a fight," Solas answered with a dismissive wave of his hand. "But I will deal with it if needs must. I have no interest in stalling our plans by killing him, even if he may be acting for our enemies."

Aemilia's brow furrowed. "Our enemies? He is a former slave…how could he possibly…?"

"He has ties to the Inquisition," Ellana interrupted to save her Solas's irritation. "Tenuous ties – a friend of a friend type relationship but you can understand the caution."

"Oh…" she replied, taken aback momentarily. "Ha! The Inquisition is hardly a threat!"

Her derision cut through Ellana but it was Solas who spoke.

"Do not allow yourself such arrogance. They may be crippled but only a fool would ignore a downed enemy. A moment is all it takes for them to get up and stab you in the back."

His scolding certainly seemed to hit its mark judging by his target's downed features and silence. All it took was a touch from Ellana to snap him out of it.

"Proceed as planned," he said, softer but still firm. "Whatever comes of it, we shall endure."

Aemilia nodded, moving to leave and do as he commanded but she stopped, a look of gentle admiration overtaking her features as she allowed herself the briefest of gazes back in his direction. He did not think to notice but Ellana did, and for a moment, her buried jealousy flared once again. She shook herself out of it, drawing a curious look from Solas. As the rest started to leave, he absentmindedly took her hand but she freed herself of him. At the last moment, she thought to afford him an apologetic smile as she headed on to catch up to Getros. It had been a time of difficult discussions and it was not about to end yet.

"We need to talk," she said with a touch to his arm.

The old man's eyes widened slightly. "Good day, my Lady. It has been too long. What do you wish to discuss?"

"Not here," Ellana practically hissed. She straightened up to her full height, stiff with the weight of her deceptions. "We should meet, perhaps later today?"

The look he gave her suggested that he really did not want to do that. "For what purpose? Can we not discuss…"

"Stop it," she interrupted, very aware that Solas would be wondering where she had gone. "You will meet me two hours from now at the Eluvian like before. Is that suitable?" He got out a syllable before she interrupted again. "And by 'suitable', I do not mean you can weasel out of it. This is happening, just not while you should be somewhere else."

He stared at her for a long moment. "It is suitable."

"Good." She turned away from him; ready for Solas but thinking it rather rude, she rounded back. "Thank you."

She skipped off just as Solas left the war room and met him with a smile that was probably too wide.

"Last meeting, yes?" she practically sang in her nervousness. "Come, we must collect our little one." He made to speak but she was having none of it. "Do not protest. You have not seen my mother in an age and last time I saw her, she said you needed feeding."

"She _always_ thinks I need feeding," he retorted with a growl of annoyance. She leaned in to him, eyes not breaking from his. He arched an eyebrow and sighed. "I suppose she does make rather good cakes…"

* * *

"You are sure?"

Forehead crinkled with doubt, this was not the first time Solas had asked that question. He appeared worried, dappled in amongst the more blatant exhaustion, so much so that Ellana was sure even someone less versed in interpreting his masks would have no trouble telling. The thought did give her pause but nowhere near enough to give up.

She reached out and took his hand. "I am, my love." She shifted herself on the bed, lowering her head so their eyes could meet. "I didn't know then…I could only do so much…"

"And you did more than I ever thought you were capable of," he added, shaking his head. "But…that aside, you still can only do so much. Something inside of me woke you but if that does not happen…"

"I know, Solas, I know…I would be at its mercy but that has yet to happen." She turned him roughly to her, resolute eyes forcing his attention. "You could come to me in my dreams at any time; that _thing_ could come to me at any time…"

"That 'thing' _is_ me," he interjected as his nose crinkled in annoyance.

"Alright then - you said you would never harm me, so why falter?" At the sight of his shamed expression, she let out a long sigh. "I am asking you to do this. I know the risks and so do you…" She shook her head, voice cracking. "You barely sleep… You think I don't hear you up pacing at night? Well, I do. Trying to stay away from me obviously isn't working - so why not try?" With a hand to his jaw, she raised his downturned features. "You can't last like this, Solas. I bring you quiet out here, do I not?"

The slightest smile came across his lips and rose in to his eyes. "You do…you really do…" He finally granted her his gaze. "As you will it, vhenan. Sleep and I will find you."

Practically bouncing with her victory, Ellana was already shimmying up the bed before she thought to remember him. She stopped, lain back with a hand outstretched. A smile spread across his face before he joined her, sliding in to lie alongside as the hand she had held out to him found the back of his neck. She kissed him on the bridge of the nose, his arms wrapped around her.

"Sleep, vhenan, and I will find you."

"I'll be waiting," she murmured, buried in the warmth of his neck.

* * *

 _Ellana could not remember a time she had felt so numb. With each laboured stride she took, the knee-high snow seeped deeper in to her already soaked clothing. She could feel it against her skin; cold bleeding in to her, taking what little feeling she had left, but she could not stop._

 _"Ellana!"_

 _The shout rang out against the mountains of white and with it, a knot tied in the pit of her stomach. Not Solas, anyone but Solas. He had been avoiding her for days now; typical that he would choose today to care. She had expected Cullen; hoped for him, if she was honest. Cullen could not convince her to give up, not with this, but Solas was her voice of reason. She was not ready for that to come after her._

 _"Ellana, wait!"_

 _He had drawn closer; muffled footfalls in the snow faster than her own and with a disgruntled whinny of a horse accompanying his words, she understood his speed. Still, she did not turn back. Every step was a struggle but she kept on, the remnants of tears upon her skin no longer warm as they had been but like ice, cutting._

 _"Stop!"_

 _His mount pulled up alongside her, forcing her to pause as the animal kicked out in anger at the conditions. She refused to look at him even as he came to her level._

 _He was breathless but the hand that touched her shoulder felt unnaturally warm. "Ellana. I am glad I found you..."_

 _She turned away from him. "You should not have come! I…I won't g…go back!" She tried to control it but the cold already brought a stutter to her words. "It…It's my mother, Solas! My family! I don't expect you to understand but I…I have to do something!"_

 _"I do understand…actually…" A hurt look passed briefly across his features. He pulled a bundle of fabric free of his horse before a slap to its behind sent it galloping back in the direction of home. "And I know." He sighed as he placed the heavy cloak he held around her shoulders. "But we have a long way to go yet, so perhaps the argument can wait…"_

 _Tying the cloak at her neck, his oddly warm hands occasionally brushed against her chin as she stared up at him._

 _"You…you…you're not here to br…bring me back?" she stuttered in disbelief. "T…t…t…tell me I'm being s…s…stupid?"_

 _He ignored her words, touching a soothing hand to her ice-cold cheek. "You're frozen." A slight gesture and she felt the most lovely warmth glide across her entire body. "Better?"_

 _Wide-eyed, she nodded._

 _He smiled in return. "Good."_

 _He took her hand, leading her in the direction she had been walking but she pulled back against him. "You're coming with me?"_

 _He turned his face from her but from what she could see, he appeared as if he could not quite believe it himself. "Of course I am." He shook his head. "I cannot let you go alone."_

 _"I…" Silence took Ellana for a moment. "I thought you were here to drag me back. I thought the others had sent you to convince me…"_

 _"Convince you?" he interrupted with the slightest of growls as he took his warmth further from her. "Convince you not to try and save people you care for? For what purpose?" He was trying to hide it but Ellana could see the anger this had brought out in him. "I could tell you how pointless it is; that even if we did somehow make it to Wycombe, we would likely be too late to help anyone. I could tell you Inquisition soldiers already reside there, far better placed to help. I could tell you how important you are; how if you were to perish, everyone, including those you seek to save, would be doomed. I could tell you a number of reasons why you should turn back – all of which you know."_

 _His voice was shaking, trying desperately to hold his anger in but even though she more than deserved it, Ellana got the impression that it was not her that had him in such a state._

 _"You are not a fool, Ellana; far far from it and to suggest otherwise would be to diminish the guilt you feel. Guilt I understand well…"_

 _Caught off guard, she blinked hard and a tear snaked free of her eyes. "No, you're wrong I…" Her voice broke and sounded a pitiable sob. "I should have been there…I should have! But I…I… I didn't want to be! I was happy! I didn't want to go back there!" His arms enveloped her as she sobbed. "I would have done anything to stay away and then...then... It's my fault! If I had done my duty, if I had just been there as I should have been then…"_

 _"You would have died alongside them," he interrupted, holding her close to his heart. "I am sorry but…that is the truth of it. There is nothing you could have done."_

Apart from the raw emotions, Ellana felt something – warmth against her back, familiar but out of place. It brought her out of it and after only a moment of confusion, she realised she was looking at herself. She watched as her dream-self sobbed in to the chest of the man she loved.

 _"There's nothing I can do! I should have been there! I would rather have died, I…!"_

"No, you are where you should be."

The reply came from behind her, not from the lips of the memory which had once truly spoken them. She turned toward the sound.

"You ignore your feelings, as if they are not what guides us all," spoke the true Solas in tandem with her memory. "You did not want to be there because something inside you knew that you were meant for so much more. You should not feel guilt for listening to that. Nor should you blame yourself for something you know in your heart you could never change." A corner of his mouth rose as a slight gesture silenced her memory. "Yet another example of me handing out advice that I do not follow."

"You're here," she breathed, relief plain as she met him in a tight embrace. "Actual you…" She held him close, taking in his scent so apart from the wolf she had been expecting. "Do you…do you feel…"

"I am myself," he answered before she could finish.

She smiled up at him. She would have very much liked to have kissed him but felt it was not the best course. He needed calm above all else, anymore would be asking too much.

"You memorised your own words?" she said with a laugh. "That's…well…that's…"

He huffed a breath of a laugh. "I assure you, it was not intentional. I have a capacity for memory, you know this and I… There was a time I visited this memory, and what came after, regularly. It was…an important moment for me…at one time."

Ellana turned to gaze at the memory of them, locked in their embrace. That moment embodied so many sour feelings for her, so much that she could not see past them. She could barely even remember what had been said when she was awake. In truth, she did not try lest she be reminded of the guilt she held still to this day.

"It was the first time you stayed with me all night," she uttered, trying to make sense of it all. "…the first time you allowed yourself to stay with me."

"The first time I thought I might never leave, actually…" Eyes fixed to the memory, he sighed. "'Listened to my heart', to use the expression." He shook his head. "I relived it often once I did leave. 'Trying to feel that way again' – I told myself but in actuality… It was…more complicated."

He had never stopped feeling that way – she knew it. Hearing him admit that he could live in this world with her and be happy was something she had yearned for, for too long. She hazarded a look in his direction, begging with herself to seek that admission until he suddenly recoiled as if in pain. He shook his head violently, the environment around them flashing only for a second to reveal the formless beads of oil-like dark that hung in the air. That, she was certain, had not been meant for her eyes.

" _No. You are…you are right."_

He spoke the elvhen words no louder than a mutter but Ellana could make out enough to garner meaning. She was on him before he could do anything else.

"Solas," she said, rising up on to her tiptoes as she took his face in her hands. "Look at me." She waited until his eyes met hers. "I am here."

The tension he held lessened as the waters of his eyes gradually calmed. Expression returned and he smiled ever so slightly.

"Thank you," he said with such sincerity. "I am…I am sorry. You should not have to see that."

Ellana interrupted with a laugh to hide the shrill fear in her voice, "And you should not have to deal with me sobbing all over you, and yet you put up with that a whole lot." A genuine smile broke across her lips. "I love you; there is nowhere I would rather be."

He looked anything but convinced, both regretful and ashamed. She broke away from him, an idea fresh in her mind. Her closed eyes scrunched with effort and her fists balled at her side.

"What are you doing?" he asked from behind, a slight chuckle to his voice.

She huffed dramatically. "I am _trying_ to concentrate!"

An actual laugh slipped free as he spoke, "You are? To what end?"

"It's no use!" Ellana turned back to him with just as much dramatic flair. "There's a place I go when I'm struggling – not literally but in my mind. I wanted to take you there."

His incredulous stare softened instantly. "You were trying to… You know you cannot warp the Fade, my love, no matter how hard you might try."

Ellana really wanted to scoff at how obvious that statement was. Of course she knew that it was never going to work but in the moment, she could think of no better way to steal his attention. She could have asked him – asked as so many do that he use his power to do as she wanted but that would have fed in to everything negative that already hung around them. Her actions may have been idiotic, embarrassing even but she could see from his expression that they had already worked as she had hoped. He found it endearing, he was reminded only of his love for her. She had brought him back long before she even suggested what might help.

He came to her side already wearing a warm smile and pressed a hand to either side of her. "Come, let me help you." His hands travelled up past her shoulders until they grazed the base of her neck. "Close your eyes and concentrate on only the image of that place."

She closed her eyes, tilting her head instinctually closer to him as he spoke quietly in to her ear.

"Concentrate on the place. Will it in to existence."

Unable to supress it any longer, a smirk burst free across her lips. "You feel better already, don't you?"

He sounded a whispered growl that if not for his proximity, she would not have heard. "That is not concentrating." He glared at her as she peeked open one eye but the glint within the glare betrayed his happiness. "Yes, much. Now concentrate."

With a final smirk that she made certain he saw, she closed her eyes and focused. She saw it all just as she remembered – pine trees swaying the cool breeze; wild flowers beneath her feet; the only sounds that of distant water and the far off bustle of camp. She felt the warmth that memory brought her, the security. She had been young, too young to understand but surrounded by beauty, she felt anything could be possible. She might live another life – one where she did not have to move on, leave her father behind beneath the planted tree. She may have known that place only briefly, but even after her life moved on, she carried it with her.

"Open your eyes."

The warmth of his hands left her neck as she slowly opened her eyes. A gasp slid free of her lips and she took a tentative step forward.

"This is it…this…"

Her words petered off as her feet drove her forward. She reached out a hand to run through the taller wildflowers as she cut a path identical to that which she would walk in memory. She stopped dead in the shadow of a small silver birch.

"It's…" She reached out a hand to touch the pale bark. "This is the place." She turned back to Solas, expecting to see him examining their surroundings but found he watched only her. "My father was buried here, beneath this tree. I used to run away, when everything got too much." She sounded a wry laugh. "Even when we were days away, I would still try and make my way back here. I was a child, I… I didn't know any better."

Without a word, Solas came to her side. Beneath his intense stare, she wished he would say something.

"It's a beautiful place, isn't it?" she tried. A tilt of his head - maybe enough to indicate a nod but nothing more. "Just thinking of it…pretending I am here again, helps me."

He was so close to her now, she could no longer avoid his eyes or ignore his silence.

"Solas." His hand held her cheek. "Say som…"

His kiss consumed her final word, rendering it little more than a garbled whisper. The feeling of it took her breath away. The voice of reason in the back of her mind ordered her to stop but even as her lover chose to pull away, she found herself guiding him back to her lips.

"You…are…everything," he uttered, words truncated by their kiss. "I want…nothing more…"

She kissed him one final time lightly atop the lips, casting her eyes downward as she touched her forehead to his.

"This is…" She murmured before granting him her eyes. "This is just what I wanted… I'm not sure how much I expected it – you say so often the effect I have on you but… This is you…just you and maybe that was a reminder I sorely needed."

He broke his gaze from her. "I am…sorry you ever felt such doubt, vhenan. It could have been so simple. I regret…so much…"

"No," she interrupted, turning his face roughly to her own. "No, my love. Look at me, I am here and I want to be. Everything you have done has led to this – we are together and we have our daughter. You have nothing to regret."

Staring in to his eyes, she knew he did not believe her and as his eyes darkened, she knew it was not just his voice stating that across his mind.

"Come," she said, with a small drag of her finger across his jaw to snap him from his thoughts. "There is more I would show you."

She held out a hand and after only a moment's pause, he took it gratefully in his own.


End file.
